Recording summary · January 2017
I broke down in tears at the New Year's party in Japan - social anxiety
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Overview
At a 2011 New Year's party at a guesthouse in Japan, Daniel experienced severe social anxiety and felt isolated while sitting alone. Frustrated and jealous that his girlfriend socialized with others instead of staying with him, he retreated to his room to cry for 10 to 15 minutes before experiencing relief.
After waiting for his face to recover, Daniel returned downstairs and spent the remainder of the evening eating his own food and playing PlayStation games, including Tekken and Soulcalibur, which offered a comfortable way to interact with other guests.
The experience prompted reflections on emotional distress, crying, masculine social expectations, communication difficulties, and personal avoidance of social gatherings.
Themes
Social anxiety and isolation during a 2011 New Year's party in Japan.
Emotional retreat, crying in a guesthouse room, and subsequent relief.
Relationship struggles, jealousy, and communication challenges with a girlfriend.
Coping mechanisms at gatherings through PlayStation gaming instead of communal dining.
Reflections on masculine social norms, crying, and avoidance of social events.
Developments
A New Year's party was held at a guesthouse in Japan in 2011.
Daniel sat alone on his phone in the guesthouse living room for approximately 20 minutes.
Daniel retreated to his room, locked the door, and cried for roughly 10 to 15 minutes.
Daniel waited around 5 minutes for his face to settle before going back downstairs.
Daniel played Tekken or Soulcalibur on PlayStation 3 with other attendees downstairs.
Other guests paid approximately ¥500 to share food from the kitchen, while Daniel ate his own food beside the PlayStation console.
Uncertainties & gaps
Whether Daniel was specifically playing Tekken or Soulcalibur upon first rejoining the gathering.
Whether it was noticeable to party attendees that Daniel had recently been crying.
The specific food Daniel consumed while sitting beside the PlayStation.
How Daniel's girlfriend would have reacted had he disclosed leaving the party to cry.