I nearly got married to my ex-girlfriend's Japanese friend

Hey, so I've already made a video talking

about this same subject, but what am I

doing with my hand? I've already made a

video in the past talking about this, but

since it was such a long time ago and I

don't think that most of you have actually

seen this video, and that video is really

long, it's like 40 minutes, and it wasn't

a good video, so I'd like to make an

updated version for 2017, just retelling

this story that happened a few years ago

when I nearly married this Japanese girl.

So the year was 2011, and I went to Japan

on the working holiday visa. And at the

time, I was in this relationship with this

French girl, and this French girl had this

Japanese friend who was a girl as well.

And this Japanese girl used to work at a

bakery, and she was always bringing us

bread and cakes and desserts, which was

nice of her. At the time, she was in a

relationship with this Japanese guy who

was the manager of the guesthouse, so we

didn't really talk to each other much

because I was in a relationship with

someone else. Anyway, after about 4

months, my job was going really badly. I

was getting really fed up working at a

convenience store. The relationship with

the French girl was going really, really

badly, and we had lots of arguments and we

were fighting a lot. So I ended up leaving

Japan and I went to Korea to live with my

ex-Korean girlfriend for a few months,

and then I went back to England. Fast

forward 2 years later, I suddenly get this

message on Facebook out of the blue from

this girl, from the Japanese girl who

worked at the bakery, and we started

talking to each other. Pretty much every

day using email, and I suddenly asked her

one day. I said to her, I'm thinking about

going to Japan in the summer. Would I be

able to stay at your place? And

surprisingly, she said yes. Now, I didn't

actually tell her that I was interested in

her. I didn't ask her to be my girlfriend

or anything, so we were on the basis of

just being friends. 2 weeks later, I

bought my ticket to go to Japan, and I

went to Japan. I had to go to Oita

Airport, but there was this huge typhoon

at the time, and it was really windy, so

All the flights to Oita Airport got

cancelled and I got redirected to Kumamoto

Airport, which is in the next prefecture.

And I had to ride the bus all the way from

Kumamoto Prefecture to Oita City, which

took about 3 hours. After a few hours, I

got to Oita City and she was waiting there

at the bus stop for me. Um, we said hello.

It was kind of awkward at first. She looks

pretty much how I remembered her from a

few years ago. We went to a shop, I bought

a toothbrush and some toothpaste, and we

went to her apartment. She had this

mattress set out on the floor for me to

sleep on. And after about an hour of

chatting, we decided to go to sleep. We

turned off the lights and I lied down on

the mattress and she lied down on her bed.

And then she suddenly started talking

again. She said, isn't the mattress on the

floor kind of hard? Would you like to

sleep in my bed? So I said, okay, and she

got out of her bed and she slept on the

mattress and I slept on her bed. And then

we turned off the lights and we tried

going back to sleep. And then she started

talking again. She said she couldn't sleep

and she wanted to see pictures of my cats.

She just said, can you show me some

pictures of your cats? And I was like,

okay. So we turned the lights back on, I

sat up in her bed, and I started looking

for photos of my cats. And she sat on the

floor next to the bed, and then she

started touching my legs, and she was kind

of fascinated about how hairy my legs are.

And it was at this point I started to

realize that she was interested in me

sexually or romantically. And I said to

her, if it's uncomfortable sitting on the

floor, you can come and sit on the bed.

So she got up and she got into the bed and

she lied down next to me. She got into the

bed and she lied down next to me, but she

had her back facing towards me. She was

facing away from me. So I decided to lie

down in the bed as well, and I started

smelling her hair and touching her neck,

and then I started kissing the back of her

neck, and then things started from there,

and I think you can guess what happened

next. After we had unprotected sex, I

asked her if she wanted to be my

girlfriend, and luckily she said yes, and

that's how the relationship started. A few

days later, she started asking me if there

was a way I could stay in Japan long-term,

and I told her that since I don't have a

university degree, that it might be

impossible or very difficult for me to get

a working visa. And then she just suddenly

said, what about a marriage visa? What if

we got married? Could you get a marriage

visa and stay in Japan long-term? And I

was pretty shocked and surprised. I've

never been proposed to, or I've never had

a girl ask me if I wanted to get married.

So I was quite happy and surprised at the

same time. So I said, yeah, I guess I

could stay in Japan long-term if we got

married and I got a marriage visa. So I

said, yeah, let's do it. Let's get

married. Why not? We've only known each

other for about— well, we knew each other

for about 2 years, but we've only been

dating for like 2 days. What could

possibly go wrong? So the next day we went

down to the city hall and And we asked

them if we could have a marriage— what's

it called— the marriage documents where

you have to sign your name and fill out

your details. We got one of those, we

filled it all out. I also needed my birth

certificate, so I went onto this website

and I got my birth certificate sent to me

from England all the way to Japan. That's

why I have my birth certificate in my

luggage, just in case I want to get

married again. There's also this other

document we needed that you can only get

at the British Embassy. And this document

was to prove that you didn't have secret

girlfriends or wives somewhere else in the

world and that you're actually able to get

married, which is a load of rubbish

because they can't actually prove that you

don't have secret girlfriends or wives.

How can they prove that? It was just like

this stupid thing they made up so they can

charge you more money. Anyway, it was

really difficult to book an appointment at

the embassy because they were so busy, so

I wasn't able to actually book an

appointment until a few months later. But

we ended up breaking up before the actual

appointment happened, so in the end, that

final document saved us from getting

married. If it wasn't for that document,

we would have gotten married and it would

have been a disaster. So why did we break

up? Where did it all go wrong? Well,

quite a few unlucky, unfortunate things

happened to us which I think caused the

breakup to happen. For the first few

weeks, everything was going really well.

The sex was amazing and we were really

happy, and then suddenly my wisdom tooth

My bottom wisdom tooth here started

erupting out of my gum, and it was so

incredibly painful. I couldn't even open

my mouth. I couldn't eat. I had to drink

soup out of a straw. And then after about

a week of this, I had to give in and take

painkillers. And because I was in so much

pain, I was really irritable and grumpy

and moody the whole time, and I was kind

of snappy, and I used to get angry at her,

and this would really upset her, and she

would start crying all the time. Also, at

first the sex was really good and I was

really enjoying it, but she had an

insanely high sex drive. She wanted to

have sex like 3 to 4 times every day. And

after having sex for about 3 to 4 times

every single day, trust me, it gets really

boring. She would get upset and angry

because after I had finished, I would just

go to sleep. I'd just fall asleep straight

away because after I finished, I just want

to sleep. I don't have any interest in

doing anything sexual afterwards, but she

wanted to continue doing stuff even after

I finished. She wanted me to continue

touching her and kissing her and doing

things to her. And I started to get fed up

and irritated with this because I just

wanted to go to sleep. I feel like after

doing it for 30 to 40 minutes, that's

enough. But it was like she was never

satisfied, and she would start getting

upset with me and start sulking at me

because of this. And there's actually this

one time when we were having sex and I was

so fed up and bored with it, I actually

lost my erection during the act. And I

said, can we just stop and have a break?

And I pulled out and I put my pants back

on. And she was so upset, she went into

the corner of the room and she like sat—

she sat in the corner of the room and

started crying. She started saying, you

don't love me anymore, you're not

interested in me anymore. And then we had

another huge problem. We both got

chlamydia, an STD. Um, I've made a

separate video about this, so I'm not

really going to go into much detail, but

we both got chlamydia and we were both in

a lot of pain. And I was getting more and

more grumpy and irritated with her and

getting snappy at her and She was crying

more, just sulking, giving me the silent

treatment all the time. And we had this

huge argument and she actually kicked me

out of her apartment. And I packed my

stuff, I went to the train station, I got

on the bullet train, and I went to the

nearest city. And I was going to get on

the plane the next morning, but I didn't

have anywhere to stay because I was too

lazy to book a hotel. So I just— I was

homeless for the night. I sat on the

street the whole night. Just waiting for

the train station to open up again. And

then she started sending me all these

messages and emails begging me to come

back, saying that she was sorry and that

she wanted me to come back and she missed

me. And since I'm such a big old softie,

I decided to go back to Oita City. I went

back on the bullet train back to Oita

City. She was waiting at the train

station, sitting there, and when she saw

me, she got up and ran over to me and we

hugged at the train station. And then we

went to some kind of restaurant. We had

this really nice meal. I was starving

because I spent the night homeless on the

streets. And then we went back to her

apartment, we had sex, and we fell asleep.

Things went fine for about 2 weeks, and

then we started having troubles. We

started having problems again, the same

problems as before. Somehow she

accidentally saw this photo that I took

with my ex-girlfriend in Korea of our

feet, and she was really upset about that.

And she started giving me the silent

treatment pretty much all day, and I was

getting fed up with that, so I was trying

to make her talk, and that just made

things worse. At the time, we were walking

around some kind of town, and I was trying

to get her to talk, trying to break the

silent treatment, but this just made

things worse, and she kind of snaps, and

she started yelling and shouting at me on

the street for about 10 to 15 minutes,

and it was really embarrassing. Everyone

was watching, and I was just standing

there. I didn't say anything because I

didn't want to make the matter worse, and

I was just so fed up at that point. I was

just so irritated with all the silent

treatment and all the crying and emotional

breakdowns she was having. She was such an

emotional person. She would cry and sulk

and get upset over what I considered to be

little things. And on top of that, I was

feeling really bored. Apart from the sex,

there was nothing else good about the

relationship. We had nothing in common. I

felt really bored when we were just

spending time together because I didn't

know what to talk about. And she would

just go to work, come home in the evening.

We would have have dinner. I would cook

her dinner and we would go to sleep. And

that was what every day was like. It was

just like the same thing repeating itself

day after day. And I was getting so

incredibly bored of this lifestyle. And it

was at that point I decided that I didn't

want to be in this relationship anymore.

It wasn't worth the effort. It wasn't

worth the trouble to be in this

relationship with this girl. So I decided

to break up with her. I decided to call it

off. And I went back home and I never

spoke to her ever again. Apart from last

year when I found her account on

Lang-8.com and I decided to send her a

message and she ignored me and she blocked

me. So that was interesting.

Sometimes I do really miss her and I do

really regret breaking up with her because

I feel like the reasons why I decided to

break up with her are kind of stupid now

that I think about it. And she was really

pretty. I feel like she was the prettiest

girl that I've dated so far. And I felt

really attracted to her. Also, at that

time, I was really depressed and worried

about my financial situation. I didn't

want to be stuck in Japan doing some

shitty job like a convenience store job or

a kitchen job again, and I didn't have

anything going for me. I didn't have my

YouTube channel. I didn't have

illustration contracts going. I didn't

have translation work available, and I had

no idea what I wanted to do with my life.

I think I was way too immature back then

and I wish that the whole experience could

happen again, but I wish it could happen

right now. I feel like I've changed a lot

since then. I feel like I've learned a lot

from that relationship, and I know that

when I'm in a bad mood, I can be really

moody and really irritable, and I can say

things that hurt people's feelings, and I

really need to try and get that under

control. Now I kind of realize how stupid

it was of me, how selfish it was of me to

get irritated with her and get snappy with

her and make her cry and make her upset,

and I really regret doing those things. I

think that if she suddenly messaged me and

she said she wanted to get back together

and I didn't have a girlfriend right now,

I would say yes, let's give it another

try, let's give it another shot. I feel

like things would be different now because

I'm not as immature as I was back then.

Right now I just want to be really careful

that I don't let the same thing happen to

my current relationship, that I don't make

the same mistakes again, that I don't get

snappy and make my girlfriend upset or

make her cry. There's one thing she bought

me that I still use today, and it's these

shorts that I like to wear on the outside

of my trousers for some reason. She bought

me these shorts. They're part of a set

called Jinbei, which is like traditional

Japanese clothing for men, and she wore

kimono and I wore the Jinbei outfit, and

we went to some kind of fireworks display

in the summer. And yeah, I really like

these shorts, so I decided to keep them.