How to make battered Fish and chips (without chips)

We're in lockdown.

I found it. Why does my coffee taste

different every day? This is the worst one

yet. Almond. Because you use weird milk.

Let me try. There's too many water inside

and too many milk.

Like, it tastes like Oily

Chinese takeaway. What the fuck? Why does

your coffee taste like chicken? Why is

it oily? It's not, it's just strange.

Help me make my fish. We're making fish

and chips with chicken fry mix. It's the

same thing, it's flour. Is it? And

seasoning and haddock. Wait, is it? No,

it's cod. It smells like This is for on

chicken. Why is it yellow? Maybe it's

expired. Yeah. No, my hair is not good.

It's okay. It's not okay. You're

beautiful. Fuck you. No swearing, I need

money. Okay. Okay, you bring the fish and

the chicken powder. Okay. And I'll get the

metal sticks. I'm the assistant. Cooking

with Daniel and Mila.

My mum's making a fire, so we're scrapping

the plan to make fish and chips and we're

just gonna— whoa, look at that fire!

Quick! Wow, so big! My nose is running.

But this is dangerous. Maybe this fire is

a bit too big. Yeah, I think so too.

Stand on this side where the wind isn't

Don't come near the fire. We're cooking.

No, no on the fire. Why not? It's poison.

It's not poison.

I not do.

Don't come near the fire. We're going to

cook our fish. No, it's poison. Why

poison? Why don't you cook somewhere else?

Give us some fire. But this is Perfect.

No, you can put it on the end of this rake

and then poke it. Stop messing about, all

this virus thing. Really? Oh,

we got told off, but I

want to cook it in the fire.

You can make it in the pan. You're always

cooking this. We have to use the boring

oven. Okay, so to make the batter, how do

you make batter? We need the flour.

I think you're also supposed to add one

egg, isn't it? Ah, wait,

no, Daniel, what?

I think we just need water. That's,

that's fine. Usually people put one egg,

then they put the fish inside, and then

they put it in this. That's boring.

This is so weird. And then you— I think

I put too much water. It is. You just put

I want to see if I can do that. You're

supposed to crush an egg. I'm making fish

and chips. Aren't you supposed to make an

egg like that, then put the fish inside,

and then just put it in the batter? You

don't need that. Why does he do it like

that? You need an egg to make it stick.

This will stick. It will.

Have you seen a video that he

made with his toast in his oven? A raw

egg? No. That was disgusting. I saw the

onion one where you just ate a baked onion

for dinner. Oh my God!

What? Did you wash your hands,

Daniel? No. You didn't, Daniel.

And this one, I'm making fish and chips.

See, easy. Chicken fry.

It's for fish as well. Where's the

other one? You don't care.

It's not— yes, it's Cooking with Daniel.

Stupid tripod won't stay up. Now outside

smells bad. Smells like smoke.

Smells like— quick, let's go to the fire.

My mom's not watching.

It smells like onions. Oh wait, that's the

garlic here. Yeah,

no, this smells like garlic as well. Is

it? Hmm.

Delicious. We have now been in lockdown.

This is my 8th day in Spain. Who's saying

that? Leaving the house until the

authorities tell us to, and they're now

saying the 15th of April. Who is it? So we

have to be a month locked up. You do not

leave your house in Spain on lockdown.

Some more you kissing. Worried about your

parents? We're making love.

And then we lift it into the oven like

this.

Looks delicious. Look,

isn't it nice? It's dripping. Put the lid

on the top. My hand's wet.

Okay.

I'm washing my hands. Wow.

And then we do— how about 25

minutes?

Perfect.

Nice. I wonder how it'll turn out.

It's gonna be crispy and fishy delicious.

We'll have a quick game of chess while we

wait for the fish. Checkers. No, chess.

Checkers. I don't like checkers. Checkers

is too basic. Chess is more complex,

complicated. There's more depth to it.

Okay, pay attention. The pawns move 2

spaces on the first turn, and then after

that they move 1, and they can attack

diagonally. And then the castle can move

horizontally or in a straight line.

The horse moves in an L shape. Who's

making that noise? That's the computer.

It moves in an L shape like this or like

that. Mm-hmm. And it can jump over people.

And then the bishop moves diagonally. I

think it's ready. Yeah, is it?

It's going black. I put 20 minutes. Wow,

it's looking good. Yeah, I can't believe

it. Where's the towel? Hmm,

smells quite nice as well.

Mhm. Ooh, okay, where are the tongs?

Um, I'll just poke it. Oh, it's a bit dry

actually. Stuck to the metal thing.

Wait, I'll hold it.

No, what to do?

It's stuck. Wait, wait, leave it there

first. Leave it there. How?

Where is the cloth?

Don't drop it on the floor. I said leave

it there. Okay.

I told you spray oil just now earlier,

remember? I don't know. You made me buy

two bottle of spray oil. Why don't you use

it? I can't find it. There in behind you.

Where? Yeah. Oh yeah. I need to buy to

spray the metal or rub some oil, the leaf

What to do without me, you two? Do you

have some lemon? We can squeeze some

lemon. Oh yeah.

Okay, thank you very much.

No, don't do that. You're supposed to cut

it. Then it'll be a big pile here all over

the place. We will after I finish filming.

Ready? Don't put too much in. This one is

mine. Okay, a bit spicy and a bit

Dry, succulent. Suck your fat side.

What? Is it good?

So good. You're putting so much lemon

juice on it. You don't have to put salt.

Oh, it's hot. Quiet down.

Okay, let me try.

It just came out the oven.

A thumbnail like this.

You try it.

I want to get a close-up, but it won't

focus. Okay, I'm going to try now.

Mm, it's quite good.

It's delicious. Let's take it

somewhere. I don't want the lemon. I want

the lemon. Why? I like it.

Make sure to be careful when you use

toilet paper, we're running out. Okay.

What?

But it's

not crispy because you put too many water.

Maybe, but tastes good though.

Why did you put water? No, he mixed the

sauce with water. You have to, otherwise

it's just a powder. No,