20170608 - This is what my ideal girlfriend looks like

Hey, so since recently I've realized that

I can't get a cute Asian girlfriend or a

cute non-Asian girlfriend, I'm just gonna

make my own girlfriend on Final Fantasy

14. Plus, people have been asking me,

Daniel, what's your ideal girlfriend? So

instead of trying to explain it, I thought

it'd be easier to just, to just show you

what she would look like. And we're gonna

make my ideal girlfriend in this video,

and I'll be able to live out my long-term

fantasy of becoming a cute Japanese girl.

So if If I could have sexual intercourse

with any of these 5 races, um, I would not

choose a human because they look kind of

boring. Um, I wouldn't choose an Elezen

or whatever that is because they look

really tall and I don't like girls that

are taller than me. And I wouldn't choose

a Lalafell because they look like

5-year-old girls and I'm not actually a

pedophile. I wouldn't choose a Roegadyn

because they look like men with boobs.

Kind of like transvestites. I would choose

this one, a Makote, however the hell you

pronounce that. Yeah, so since I think

cats are cute and the Asian-looking women

are cute, why don't we merge the two and

make a catgirl? So we're gonna go for the

catgirl, and we can choose Seekers of the

Sun or Keepers of the Moon. You can

actually get more of a pale skin with

Keepers of the Moon, which I find

attractive. I kind of like the whole emo

vampire look, so we'll go for that. So

first of all, we'll change the skin color

to super pale like this. And her height—

her height should be less than mine. So

162 is the maximum height it goes to for

this race, so that's fine. I'm 174, so 162

is great, not too short. Anything below

160 would be just way too short and it

would feel kind of awkward. So bust size,

I definitely think that larger is better.

All my previous girlfriends have been like

this size, and it's okay, I guess.

I don't really have that much of an

obsession over large boobs, but if I had a

choice, I would go for larger. So let's go

for larger. And then for skin color,

we've done that. Tail shape, um, since

real girls don't actually have tails,

this doesn't really matter, but I guess

that looks fine. And tail length, I think

shorter would be less of a distraction.

Okay, for hairstyle, there's quite a few

hairstyles to choose from. Let's just go

through them all quickly. This one's too

short, too short. This one's nice. This

one's okay, but it's a bit wild looking.

This one's my favorite so far. I think

it's really cute. I like the fringe. I

like the simplicity. It looks clean and

neat. It's not too long, it's not too

short. I think it's just perfect. But

we'll have a look at the others anyway

since we're here. This one is okay. I

don't really like pigtails. This one, no.

I don't like this all back kind of style.

It looks weird. This one's kind of cute,

but it's too short and I don't like these

braids. This one's too fancy. This one's

too short and too pulled back. This one's

too short, too short. Too pulled back.

These look all the same. What's the

difference? This one, I think this one's

kind of cute, but I don't like the

pigtails at the back. This one's the same

as the other one. This one's too, too

pigtaily. This one's too wavy. This one's

too mature looking, but it looks nice.

This one's too dreadlocky. I don't like

dreadlocks. This one is okay,

but the back looks weird. Like, why is it

sticking out like this? This one's 2

pigtails. I don't like pigtails, too

short. Why are there so many pigtail

hairstyles? I don't know. This one's

alright, I guess. It's kind of simple

though. This one's too wavy, too curly,

too curly, too short. The rest is just too

short. The only other haircut hairstyle I

would consider would be maybe

something like this, nice and simple, but

Yeah, the best one is this one, I think.

And hair color, definitely go for black.

I find black hair really attractive for

some reason. Face, I think

this one looks nice. They all look kind of

the same though. This one's the nicest.

Jaw, this one. It all looks the same

really. Eye shape. Um,

I guess I'd go for this eye shape. Iris

size. I'd go for small. I don't like these

really large contact lenses you can get

that make your eyes look really big. Eye

color. I guess I'd go for black or

brown, but yellow would be cool

if you could actually get yellow eyes.

Eyebrows, it doesn't really matter because

she has a fringe. Nose, so what would my

ideal nose look like? This one's too big.

This one's not too much different to

number 1. Number 1's a bit too upturned

though. I think number 3 looks a bit

better. Number 4, I think,

I think number 4 is a bit too small.

Number 5, Number 6 is too like

hooked shaped. I guess I'll go for number

3. And what else?

Mouth. Type 4, type 3,

type 2, type 1. Type 1 or 2.

2's too thick. 3's too thin. I think

1 is nice. Lip color. We could go for

lipstick. I'm not really a fan of lipstick

because it means you can't kiss them or

else you get lipstick on your own lips,

so I'd go for none. Ear clasps, I don't

know what those are, so we won't be

looking at those. Facial features,

scars, no, I don't find scars attractive.

We don't need any facial features. Face

paint, none, but she has like face paint

on here, which Which I don't like.

So, um, yeah, I think that's it. That's

what my perfect girlfriend would look

like. See, why can't women in real life

look like this? This is why I have such

high expectations, because I expect women

to look like this because I play so many

video games, especially Japanese video

games where they're really good at making

extremely cute or attractive female models

in their games. Compare this to something

like a Western game company like Skyrim.

Or Prey or Fallout where the people

just look hideous in the game. Western

companies need to learn from Japanese

companies a lot how to make

attractive-looking people because they're

just so ugly, especially in Skyrim and

Prey. Have you seen the faces in there?

They just look terrible. So what else can

we do? We can change the environment. Oh

look, she's standing in a field with

trees. You can also change the time of

day. It's evening. Back to day.

Some kind of desert area. A forest.

What's this? A room?

I like this one. It's more well-lit.

Small clothes. Oh wow, you can take off

her clothes! This game's amazing. 10 out

of 10 already. This game's my new favorite

game. Let's see what's up the tail. Is the

tail actually attached to her body? Is it

growing out of her spine? It's kind of

strange, isn't it? But I think it's cute.

So yeah, a lot of people complain about

Asian girls not having much of a backside,

like kind of flat. It's true, I guess,

but it doesn't bother me, to be honest. I

don't really care if her ass isn't

sticking out like loads. I think it looks

fine. What else can we do? We can make a

move.

What the hell? She's doing strange stuff.

Okay, let's go to the next stage. Okay,

she's posing now. Okay, let's go to the

next stage before I get a hard-on. Just

save this. We don't really need to save it

though. I don't know what any of this is

and I don't care. Okay, so we can try

her out in different armor. So this is the

Gladiator's armor.

Pugilist. She's so cute,

I just want to squeeze her face.

Marauder.

Lancer. This armor is really ineffective.

Look, it's just like a huge opening on her

stomach. Archer.

That looks pretty cute, I have to admit.

Let's look at the Disciples of Magic.

Conjurer. I like that,

that's nice. I don't know how to pronounce

this. Thaumaturge. This looks pretty good.

I like the hat, but you can't see her

face. It's just a waste. Arcanist?

No, this looks stupid. I think I would

go for— I'm not sure which

one looks the best. This looks super

slutty. Look, she's not even wearing a

bra. You can even see her nipples kind of

poking out there. I don't know, maybe it's

just the pixels. We should change the

voice. She sounds really squeaky.

Um, let's go for pugilist, I guess.

Doesn't really matter. I'm not really

gonna be playing it much. Okay, name.

Um, what should we do for a name? How

about this for a name? I need a

girlfriend.

How does that sound? Not too desperate?

It actually looks like a real name,

doesn't it? Aineeda. Aineeda. Okay,

so now it's loading. Begin a new game.

Here we go. Okay, so the game finished

loading and we're in the game in some kind

of gigantic city. Whoa, we can see her

panties. I'm loving this game. Look, you

can see right up her skirt. That's

amazing. I do this on GTA 5 and I look up

the women's skirts and you can't see

anything. They didn't even model the

panties, they just pasted over it with

some kind of black shadow color.

And I was really disappointed because I

was running people over in GTA and then I

was inspecting the corpses and looking up

their skirts and I couldn't see panties

and I was really upset. So I stopped

playing that game mainly because of that

reason. So in the game This is my name.

I think it's a pretty good name. There's a

golden guy, Monkey D. Luffy. He was

actually standing here earlier, like an

hour ago when I was playing this. And

yeah, this is my ideal girlfriend. If you

want to know what my girlfriend would look

like if I could create her in a character

creator, I guess she would look something

like this. The hairstyle, the face would

kind of look like this, I guess.

And yes, she could have cat ears if she

wanted to. I wouldn't kick her out of bed

for having a tail or having cat ears. So

let's go and kill some stuff for a few

minutes just so I can try and make this

video at least 10 minutes or 8 minutes. I

don't know how long this video is actually

because I haven't been watching the time.

So this is the Spineless Basin. Where

there are weird creatures that you can

kill. Okay, what else can we do?

Can we make her say stuff? Make her laugh.

Laugh does not exist. Okay, lowercase this

She seems kind of crazy when she laughs.

What else can she do? Cry?

Oh, she's so sad. Please don't cry. Can we

see her armpits? Can we take off her

clothes? Okay. How about

we unequip her top? Whoa, she's wearing a

bra, but the bra doesn't have

any shoulder straps. How does it stay in

place? Is— are there boob physics? Do they

move? Do they jiggle? Oh, they do kind of

jiggle. That's interesting.

Jiggly.

Jiggly. This video is getting really

weird, isn't it? Should we run around

naked for a bit? Why not? That doesn't

look weird at all. Let's take off her

gloves and we'll take off her shoes.

She's wearing something. She's wearing

sandals underneath her shoes. That must be

really uncomfortable. Take off her skirt.

That's really sexy. Let's take off these

as well, her rings, and let's take

off everything. She's gonna get super

sunburnt. Look how pale her skin is. Oh,

it's overcast, so I guess she isn't gonna

get that sunburnt. Just a naked

girl running around in the wilderness,

nothing strange here. The hell is that?

Is this a player? No. Oh shit, it killed

me. Fuck.

The giant cactus just raped us in the

wilderness, and now we're just lying here

naked, dead, lifeless corpse.

I can't believe that just happened. You

stupid cactus. Now we have to go back

to whatever this place is. He just punched

us in the face!

All these people just standing around

doing nothing. Okay, let's get back

out there. This is just wonderful. I

finally get to carry out my fantasy of

being a Japanese girl running half-naked

throughout a city. I feel so satisfied

right now. How do I get back out? You can

see her panties as well. Everyone's super

sexy in this game, it's great. How do I

get back out? The Gate of the Sultana.

Aren't sultanas things you eat, like

raisins? The Gate of the Sultana.

Why am I thinking about something

different? Okay, we're back outside.

We're somewhere else this time. I don't

think that giant cactus Oh, there's more

naked people over there. Everyone's naked

in this game. Can't blame them, everyone

looks amazing. There's a giant ladybug.

Let's try and kill it. I need to change my

hotbars first. No, keybindings, hotbar,

change this to Q. That's better. Let's

beat the shit out of this ladybug. Whoa!

She's not messing around.

Can we get rid of those weapons?

You can't. I don't think you can do that.

Weapons cannot be unequipped. Okay,

she's super hot. I definitely would

not kick her out of bed. I would actually

pay good money to get her into bed, even

with the tail. I don't know if that's

weird or not. There's more naked people,

let's go and join them. Hey, it's a

This one's only level 3 though, so it's

not gonna kill us. They look so creepy.

Can you imagine getting raped by one of

these? It'd be so painful. How do we sit

down or crouch? Can you crouch? Oh, it's

running away. Hey, don't run away from me,

little shit. I'll just beat

Well, she does kicks as well.

What's it doing?

Raptor form. What does that do? Employing

the raptor fighting stance.

What happens if we do sit?

Okay, now she's being raped

by a ladybug. Well, it's a lady, so I

guess it's okay.

This is weird.

This is really weird. Let's go somewhere

else. Where should we go?

What happens if we stand in the fire? Oh,

we can't. There's a giant tortoise!

Hey, giant tortoise, are you gonna kill

me? No?

Who's this little person? Hey, little

person. I'm naked and I don't care.

I'm naked and I like it.

This guy's not doing a very good job at

lifting this box. Can we help him?

Look at his face. Look at his face.

He looks like he's taking a shit.

Merchant and mender. Let's go up here.

What's this guy? He looks pretty

cool. He looks like Batman, a cool version

of Batman. Don't happen to have a hot pie

on you, do you? No,

but I have boobies. Are you interested?

Should we sit here in front of this guy?

Is he even here? Is he AFK? Oh,

whoa, we're sitting on his lap!

Is he watching us? That's kind of

embarrassing. That's awkward.

I've never seen that position before.

What if we dance? Let's see what her dance

Interesting.

Very nice.

Whoa.

So this is what my perfect girlfriend

would look like if I could create her

myself, in case you were wondering. So

thanks for watching and bye-bye. I'm gonna

spend the next hour or so staring at her

boobs.