Why I HATE Resident Evil 5 on the Switch Lite gameplay

Hello and welcome back to another video

game review. Today we're going to be

reviewing Resident Evil 5.

Yeah,

Resident Evil 5 on the Nintendo Switch

Lite. Hopefully it'll be good,

but I don't have very high expectations

because, you know, it's Resident Evil.

Not really one of— what is all this

rubbish? Just play the game, please.

Okay, so we can do a new game.

I think we'll do normal.

Start game. So I don't know how different

this game is gonna be to Resident Evil 2

or 3. I think after Resident Evil 4, the

game series took a bit of a turn,

went in a different direction.

Instead of being horror, I think

it became more of an action game.

I don't really want to watch this stupid

cutscene. Oh, you can't even skip the

cutscene? Are you kidding me?

What did— what did that— what did I do?

I think I skipped it.

Yeah, I think pressing this button skips

the cutscene. That's good. I was about to

rage. I hate it when games make you watch

stupid cutscenes. I don't want to watch a

cutscene. If I want to watch a cutscene,

I'll watch a movie. I want to play the

game, not watch it, please. Thank you very

much. So I think we're in Africa.

Oh, so this is Chris. Chris is Claire

Redfield's brother, I think.

She has very nice cleavage.

Um, I wish that guy would stop talking.

Okay, so first of all,

I feel like the character is too close to

the screen. Why is he taking up so much

room? The camera should zoom out

a bit. Why does he walk so slowly as well?

And his hands are massive. Look at those

hands.

People don't look very friendly here.

So what do I do?

I guess I go this way.

Oh look, they're fighting.

What are they doing? They're beating up a

bag. Good job, well done.

They're so black. I know black people are

black, but they're not that black, are

they? This guy's like completely black.

Usually black people are dark shades of

brown, not actual black. Are they? I don't

know, I've never been to Africa.

Not saying there's anything wrong with it,

I'm just saying that guy's skin is like

pure black. There's no brown.

I don't think— maybe this

is what Japanese people's perception of

black people is.

Just make them completely black.

No, Japan, that's not what black people

look like. They're not actually black,

they're more like dark brown. Maybe I

should cut that out of the video. No,

it's not racist, shut up.

So we're at the butcher's.

Wah blah blah blah blah blah blah. I don't

know what he said, but I think something

bad's gonna happen.

His arms were like massive drumsticks.

Oh, can we just get on with the bloody

game?

I can't believe it's been 5 minutes and

nothing has happened. We just walked

Open Y.

Oh,

this is so boring.

Edward Ashford, that's like the lamest

name ever.

Where are the zombies?

I don't care, just make me Let me fight

people.

Okay, we've got weapons.

Give me my weapons.

Okay, how do I use it?

Come on, you can't be serious.

Get out of the way, stupid woman.

I thought I have my weapons. She keeps

getting in my way. Come on.

Okay,

equip. Okay,

can I shoot him? Whoa,

nice boobs.

Boobage.

Okay,

let's shoot stuff.

Finally, 7 minutes in.

The controls are kind of annoying, I don't

It just doesn't feel good.

Where do I go? Get out of the way!

She keeps standing in front of me.

What the hell is that?

Animal carcass? Like the Wuhan wet

market. This is how it started.

That's what you get for butchering poor

animals. No virus ever came from a

vegetable, did it?

Okay, what a pleb. The Umbrella training

facility is established in the Arklay

Mountains with Marcus.

Oh, zombies! Whoa, what's going on?

Didn't even give me a chance. Why is it

running? Zombies are supposed to be slow.

Why does he have to kick open doors so

violently? Just use the handle, stupid.

It's really annoying moving for some

reason. He's just really,

really slow to move around. There has

to be a way

out of here.

Look at this mattress. Would you bring a

girl back and use this mattress? But it's

all moist, but it smells really bad as

well. Well,

it's better than doing on the floor. I did

do it on the floor once, but the girl was

really fat, so,

um, yeah, I was just on top of her. It was

like being on a big beanbag, so I

didn't really feel the hardness of the

floor. Where do I go? Oh, out the window.

Do a front flip out the window. That's a

good idea, idiot.

Why is he in Africa anyway?

Do I have to shoot all these people?

They're not even zombies, are they? Are

they just people? I feel like this is kind

I've run out of bullets.

Why are they trying to beat us up? We

didn't do anything wrong. Go away.

Good job.

We're just here to help. They're trying to

hunt us down now. No appreciation.

Stupid locals. Where do

I go?

This game's so lame. I don't like it

already. I thought Resident Evil was

supposed to be a scary game. This is not

scary at all. It's just like Third-person

shooting game.

Why call it Resident Evil?

Well, I definitely would not pay— how much

is this game? £60? Get lost.

I'm not paying £60 for this. I'd rather

play Scrabble.

Well, I'm bored with this already. I think

I'm just going to turn it off.

I can't imagine how this would get more

fun.

Yeah, I'm done. Oh, my back's killing me.