I miss my wife

What a

mess. Look what I've done to my room.

Why does it always become like this? I

pushed the 2 single beds together and I

made it— become like this. I pushed the 2

single beds together and I made a double

bed. I'm a genius.

Oh, I just feel kind of frustrated right

now. I don't feel like making a video. I

haven't made a video since the 24th. How

long ago? It's about a week ago. I can't

remember the last time I didn't make a

video for such a long time. When you start

making videos almost every single day and

then you suddenly stop, it feels strange

because you get into the habit of doing

it. Anyway, strange because you get into

the habit of doing it. Anyway,

I was supposed to be uploading a video

yesterday, but I had all this stress and

problems with YouTube and demonetization.

I don't know if you, if you care about

that stuff. For some reason, when

YouTubers talk about getting demonetized,

people seem to get annoyed about it. They

say, oh, boohoo, you can't make money off

your videos, go and get a proper job. Or

why don't you just upload it without ads?

And I just— as a YouTuber,

that's just so ridiculous. It's like

saying, why don't you go to work today

without getting paid? It's because

people don't see YouTube as work just

because it doesn't look like work.

Anyway, I tried uploading a video

yesterday about leaving Oita and about my

cat dying, and it got demonetized straight

away. So I set it to private, and then I

woke up the next morning and it was

monetized, so I set it back to public.

But then it was getting no views because

people weren't getting notified about it.

It was weird. So I decided to delete

the whole thing, and instead of

reuploading it— I was going to reupload

it, but I gave up because I don't really

think it's that interesting of a video.

It's just me, um, talking about some old

Japanese guy who worked in a vegetable

stand, and then I I ask him if he

remembered my ex and then he says no,

that's it. And then I talk about my cat

dying.

It's not really interesting. It's too much

stress and all this demonetization stuff.

I don't know why it got demonetized. I

didn't talk about sex. I didn't talk about

anything sensitive.

I guess talking about death and dying.

Gets you demonetized.

And I asked people on Discord if you got,

got a notification for my latest video,

and they said no. Apparently no one knew

that I even made a new video yesterday.

Even the people who check up on my channel

a lot, they said they had to actually go

onto my channel to find it, but they

didn't have any notification in the

subscription box. I don't know if that's a

problem with my channel or YouTube as a

whole because I was on Twitter and there

were other people saying similar things

like my videos are getting 50% less views

than usual or people aren't getting

notified. It's like something's messed up

with YouTube again. It's always something,

isn't it? Why, why is it so hard for

YouTube? I don't understand why they can't

fix this. Why, why can't they do their job

properly? All they have to do is make a

subscription box. And let people know when

the people that they're subscribed to

release videos. It's not that difficult,

is it? I'm not a programmer or coder, so I

know nothing about this, but it seems

pretty basic. You click subscribe, and

then when someone makes a video that

you're subscribed to, you get alerted.

How hard is that to program? Why do they

need a notification bell and a

subscription button? And then even then,

people still don't get notified. It's just

And the thing is, when you upload a video,

set it to public, people get notified of

it, which is great. But then when you set

it to private and then set it to public

again a day later, they don't get notified

again. And then no one

knows that you've set it back to public

unless they come back to your channel

So I have no idea why it was demonetized

in the first place. My only guess is

because I said the D-word. So things

you're not allowed to talk about on

YouTube if you want to get monetized: sex,

dying, suicide,

possibly depression.

Maybe we just need to start making code

words for everything. But then the thing I

don't understand is I can make a

livestream where I talk about sex and

dying and porn and all that stuff, and the

livestream still gets monetized.

I've talked about putting a dildo up my

asshole in graphic detail and it was still

monetized. It doesn't make sense. It's

like livestreams make it harder for the AI

to catch or demonetize it, but short

videos are 10 minutes. They get

demonetized more easily.

Anyway, back to my wife issue. So it's

been about 10 days. It's been about 10

days since I left my wife. I haven't been

apart from her, away from her for such a

long time. This is the first time I've

been away from her for so long. And yeah,

I kind of miss her. I kind of miss my

life. With her in our little apartment,

had a simple life. That's the

problem. So here's the vicious cycle that

I'm stuck in.

I'm living with my wife and every day is

exactly the same and it drives me crazy

with boredom. And I get so bored that

I jump at any opportunity to run away

because it means that I get some

excitement in my life. I get to go

somewhere new. I get to stay in a hotel.

I get to travel somewhere. I can spend

some time alone and it feels like I'm

breaking free from that suffocation. But

then after about a week, I get fed up with

all this hotel stuff. It's bloody

expensive. After a few days, you start to

realize that it's not that fun. You're

just in a stupid hotel room that

looks like a mess now that I've messed it

up.

And then I feel like going back to

my wife, and then a few months later the

same thing happens. It's like repeat, the

cycle repeats, rinse and repeat.

And then people keep complaining, oh, you

do this all the time, you're just doing it

for views, you keep running away from her.

Yeah, well, this stuff happens. No

relationship's perfect.

And I've spent so much money. I think I've

spent nearly $1,000 for 3 hotels

for 10 days. 10 days in the hotel is very

expensive when you're paying about $60 a

night. I think it's about $60 to $70,

maybe even more a night, and I've been in

hotels for about 10 days. So times that by

10, it's about $700 on hotels. And then I

got 2 bullet trains, so actually 4, 2 to

Oita and then 2 back to Osaka, which was

about $170 one way. So it's like $300. It

must be $1,000 by now.

And I'm definitely not making $1,000 on

the last 2 videos I made since I left and

the livestreams I've done, probably made

like $300 at most.

My wife wants me to come back. She said I

can come back if I'm ready to come back.

She said if I want more time alone, I can

have more time alone. She even suggested

me going back to England for a bit.

And then she'll come and see me on

Christmas, which was kind of surprising.

I wasn't expecting her to give me

permission to go home.

The whole Discord thing was kind of

disturbing and kind of annoying because,

okay, I'll tell you the story of Discord.

There's some guy from England called Frey.

If you know, if you're in the Discord,

you know about this, you'll know who he

is. But he's a complete cunt. He used to

be a mod because I thought he was a cool

guy and he was very supportive, and I made

him a mod. He gave me suggestions for the

Discord. I let him make new channels and,

and do stuff on the Discord server to

improve it, and I thought I could trust

him. And then all this stuff happened with

this other member who was accused of being

a pedo because he was flirting with some

guy who was pretending to be a

15-year-old. I just couldn't care less

about all that. And then Frey and some of

the other mods wanted me to ban the pedo,

and I didn't really care, so I banned him.

I banned the pedo even though I didn't

really want to because I was chatting to

this alleged pedo for some time since last

year, and I thought he was an alright guy.

He was just a bit flirtatious online. I

didn't think it was a real problem.

Anyway, after I banned the pedo, Frey and

all the other mods just decided to fuck

off without saying anything. They just—

they left the server,

quit being a mod, changed some channels,

messed up some stuff, and then they said

they just didn't want to be part of the

server anymore because their friends had

all left or something. So I said, okay,

it's fine if you don't want to be mods

anymore. And then I unbanned the pedo.

And then the mods— one of the mods, Fry,

came back and started whinging at me

because I unbanned the pedo. So why does

he care so much? It's just a Discord

server. Don't you have a life? It's just a

stupid Discord server where people come to

chat. He kept saying, oh, your channel,

your Discord server and your YouTube

channel is gonna die now because, because

you unbanned a pedo. No one gives a fuck.

Anyway, so he has like a grudge against me

now and he found my wife's username on my

Discord because my wife is lurking on

Discord trying to find dirt about me.

I don't know how he found her Discord

username. Maybe it's because she used her

English name. You remember last

livestream, one of the first livestreams I

did with her? She said her name was Blair.

Well, she used that as her Discord name,

so it was pretty easy for him to find her,

I guess. And apparently he was chatting

with her and sending her screenshots of

stuff I was saying, and I was kind of

pissed off with that. And apparently my

wife was venting out all her frustrations

to him, like saying, Daniel's this and

Daniel's that, and I'm so upset about

this, and I want to get divorced, but I

can't get divorced because I've already

gotten divorced, and all my friends are

telling me to get divorced. Chatting all

this private stuff to this can't fray,

who I can't stand.

Fraternizing with my haters, my enemies,

it just really pissed me off. She doesn't

know the history. She doesn't know who

these people are. She should know by now

there's a lot of people who hate me and

would say anything to mess up my life.

That's why I didn't want her to get

involved with all this. I didn't want

people to be able to get in contact with

her. I didn't want people to know how to

send her messages because people will say

anything. They'll Photoshop anything.

She said she deleted Discord, which is,

which is nice.

I want to keep my wife separate from this

YouTube stuff, which sounds— I know it

sounds hypocritical because I want to talk

about her to make videos, but that's not

what I mean. I mean, I don't want people

to be able to get in contact with her. I

don't want her interacting with the

weirdos who hate me.

It's just really frustrating.

And someone keeps spreading this rumor

that I have an STD. All these people are

saying Daniel has an STD, he has HIV, and

people are believing it stupidly.

No, I don't have an STD.

I had an STD 4 years ago. I don't

understand why people find it so difficult

to understand what I'm saying. So I said I

had an STD 4 years ago, and somehow people

mishear that and think I have one now. 4

years ago means 4 years ago, not now.

Some people think I have a daughter. Some

people keep saying that I called my wife

ugly when that was my ex-girlfriend. I've

never said my wife's ugly. It's so

frustrating how much stupidity there is

and ignorance.

I just want to clear everything up with

people because there's

so much misunderstanding and

I have no idea why. They don't check the

dates, they think The ex-girlfriend that I

was calling ugly is my wife, when that was

the single mother girlfriend who was— who

I met. I made that video a whole year

before I even met my wife, and I look

completely different. I have a different

hairstyle, I'm in a different place, but

they think that it's the same person.

They think I've only had one girlfriend in

my entire life. No, I had girlfriends

before my wife.

Daniel, have you considered becoming a

porn star? We all know you love cereal in

Japan. Not really, but sometimes I've

thought about it. I thought, yeah, it

would be nice to get paid to have sex,

but I wouldn't feel comfortable being

filmed. If I was filming myself,

I would like that because I have filmed

myself having sex before and it's fun and

it's, it's erotic and arousing. But if

there's like a bunch of other guys in the

room with a big professional camera

directing me. That would be horrible.

Wouldn't be able to enjoy it. They'd just

be like, Daniel, don't do it like that,

do it like this, spread your legs wider.

Just be annoying.

And then people keep saying, how does he

get money? What's his job? Does his wife

buy things for him? Is he rich? Does his

parents send him money? I make videos

on YouTube and I put ads on them.

That's how I get money.

Why is it that unbelievable?

It's nothing to do with leeching. No one's

paying me money to do anything. My wife's

not buying anything. My parents aren't

sending me anything.

What's that dripping sound?

Do do do do do do do. I don't know

why people care so much about how much

money I make. I don't make a huge amount,

but I don't make nothing. I make

something.

Clickbait. This is another thing that

irritates me. People accusing me of doing

clickbait. And I've explained this

hundreds of times. My videos are not

Someone said your videos are clickbait

because in your no friends video you said

you have no friend and then you said you

had a girlfriend. Yeah, I have— I had a

girlfriend, but I have no friends. They

keep saying your girlfriend is your

friend. No, my girlfriend is my

girlfriend. That's why she's called a

girlfriend and not a friend. And my

girlfriend would be pretty pissed off if I

said you're my friend. She'd be like, oh,

I'm just a friend to you, not your

girlfriend? Girlfriend is higher than your

friend. It's a different level of

intimacy. Friend, girlfriend,

wife. It's not hard to understand. I don't

understand why people keep saying your

girlfriend is your friend. No, she's not.

My girlfriend's my girlfriend. My wife is

my wife. My friend— if I had friends,

they would be my friends, nothing else.

It's simple English, guys. It's not hard

to understand.

Anyway, I've booked this hotel until

Tuesday, then I'm checking out, and I

guess I'll just go back to my wife. I have

nowhere else to go. I think everything's

fine between us. We've both cooled down.

I had a bit of a fun adventure down at my

ex-girlfriend's town. I hope she's not too

upset about that.

I have to say Osaka is 100 times better

than Oita though. Oita is such a boring

shithole. There's nothing there. I don't

know why you'd want to live there. If

you're a Japanese person, why would you

want to live in Oita when you could just

move to Osaka or Tokyo? It's so boring.

There's nothing there. It's just

a load of buildings and it's right at the

end of Japan, like, like on the corner. I

guess if you're old and you're about to

die, it would be a nice place to live.

Relaxing, not too crowded.

I'm so hungry. I haven't eaten anything

today. Need to go get some food. I also

want to buy a wide-angle clip-on lens for

my iPhone so I can livestream and have it

wider. My Android phone is nearly dead. I

need to get rid of it. It's so slow, it

keeps crashing. It's really janky to use

because the apps keep closing themselves

down, keeps bugging out. Sometimes the

battery doesn't even charge. I had it

plugged into the charger for hours,

didn't even go up 1%.

I guess you can't use smartphones for more

than 3 years before they start breaking.

Now I'm stuck with this iPhone X. Oh, why

did I buy an iPhone X? I should have got

the Samsung S9.

Buy a Mate 20 Pro. I nearly did in

Malaysia. I went into the store and it was

really nice. I love the triple lens camera

thing, but I feel like the third lens is a

waste. They made the third lens a

monochrome lens. Which is kind of silly

because you could just use a filter to get

the monochrome effect. They should have

used a wide-angle lens for the third lens.

That would have been so good. Then you

could have a standard lens, a zoom lens,

and the wide-angle lens. You would have

every lens that you possibly need. The

thing I love about the LG G5 is it has a

wide-angle lens, which is very useful for

vlogging because you can see more.

But all the new phones are going for—

they're copying Apple with the telephoto

lens. I don't know why. I think a

wide-angle lens is much more useful than a

telephoto lens, don't you?

This is a nice hotel.

Only complaint is,

well, there were some Chinese people

in the corridor and they kept talking

really loudly. I looked outside and they

were unboxing a load of boxes. I thought

they were doing their luggage in the

hallway, in the corridor. Why don't you do

it in your room? I think they were working

here.

So what do you think? Should I go back to

my wife or not?

If I go back, I probably will run away

again. It just happens.

There's no stopping it unless

we get a new apartment which has a

separate room. If we had a separate room,

I could have just gone into the separate

room. The problem is when we have a fight

and we're stuck together in the same room,

it's horrible because

I don't really want to see her or talk to

her when we're having a fight. I just want

to be by myself. We get in each other's

way. She keeps sitting where my laptop is,

so I can't even use my laptop when she's

around. She just sits there. The whole

table is covered in all this makeup stuff.

Ugh, I don't understand why women use so

much makeup. What do you need? You need

lipstick, foundation, moisturizing cream.

That's 3 things at most. Okay, mascara,

4 things at most. But she has all of this

stuff, so much of it,

and she just covers the entire table, and

I just have a little square for my laptop,

and I can't even move my mouse around.

All I want is a nice desk that has a

chair. You don't know how great it is

having a chair after living in an

apartment where you sit on the floor all

the time. Sitting on the floor sucks. I

used to think it's cool. I used to think,

oh, Japanese people are cool, they sit on

the floor. But as you get older, you start

to appreciate having a good chair. I'd

love to have a desk with a nice chair.

My wife said if I come back, she's

seriously thinking about moving into a

different place, which would be

nice actually. More storage place.

Get a nice desk, get a chair, separate

room in case we fight.

Also, I would have a brand new address,

which I need to be very careful not to dox

again like I did with all my other

addresses. I don't know how I keep doxing

myself. It's because I stream and then I

walk outside and I accidentally show the

surroundings. Maybe I should do a vote.

On YouTube using the community tab.

Should I go back to my wife, yes or no?

So I don't know anymore. Maybe you guys

should just decide for me.

I'll leave all my big life decisions to

you guys in the poll. Should I go back to

my wife? Should I seek therapy? Should I

get my testicles checked?

Do do do do do do do do.

If we move into a new place, I can do a

new Japanese apartment room tour video.

Everyone loves those, don't they?

What's that noise? I want to turn that fan

off. So irritating.

I had terrible diarrhea as well. It was

like squirting out hot liquid, like it was

like squirting out chicken soup. It wasn't

even brown, it's like yellow. I don't know

why. I think it's because I had this lemon

juice that had vitamin C in it.

Never get juice that has vitamin C in it

because they put so much vitamin C in it,

gives you diarrhea.

Am I wearing capri pants? I don't know

what capri pants are.

I'm wearing jeans.

I just rolled them up.

Do you like them? Captain Dre,

thank you. She misses you. I mean, who

wouldn't miss Daniel? Yeah, she definitely

misses me. It's kind of hard not to miss

someone after you've been living with them

for such a long time every day.

And isn't it the 28th today?

October is pretty much over. And guess who

didn't message me? Well, I guess we know

who the next hate video is going to be

about. You do not promise Daniel to meet

him and then ignore him.

I don't feel like meeting him anymore

anyway. Just be weird. It's just too

weird. There's, there's too many strings

now.

It's too complicated.

I've shit-talked too many of his friends.

He doesn't want to be publicly seen with

me. You know, it just feels like bad

feelings both ways.

Apart from that, nothing really

interesting has been happening on YouTube.

YouTuber-wise or video-wise, I don't

really have any ideas right now. It's hard

to come up with ideas when you're moving

from hotel to hotel.

Do you want to go back to England? I do a

little bit, but I feel even more sad

now that my cat's died because he's always

been there. The entire time I've lived in

that house, my cat has always been there,

and now he's not. He's buried in the

garden. Cheat on your wife with her

sister. No,

I've never imagined that before or

fantasized about it. That's just wrong.

Her husband's a policeman. He'll beat me

Also, what's this new premiere feature on

YouTube? I don't get it. Apparently the

person who owns the channel can do like

a live watching of their own video. It's

kind of like a live stream, but instead of

streaming, you're watching your own video

with your subscribers is weird.

Would you consider moving in with Nobita?

No, never.

I'd be so bored with having a friend like

Nobita. All he seems like he wants— all he

wants to talk about is feminism and

politics and social stuff,

like social politics. That's all he's

obsessed about. Feminism, racism, black

people, Japanese people. What do Japanese

people think about blah blah blah?

So boring. I don't want to talk about that

rubbish. Couldn't care less about sexism

or feminism or liberalism or

right-wingers or left-wingers. Couldn't

care less. I want to talk about—

I want to talk about cute Asian girls and

shagging and YouTube and

Warhammer and Star Wars.

I don't even know what we would talk about

if we met up. That's why the interview

between us was so awkward. He kept asking

me questions about things I didn't care

about. What are your thoughts on

feminism in Japan, Daniel? Um,

well, some women in Japan are feminine

and some are not very feminine. That was

basically my answer. And then he said, do

you think there's more feminists in

England? And I said, Yeah, I guess so.

How the fuck should I know about feminism

in England? I don't even leave my house.

I don't know any feminine women. I don't

know any women in England apart from my

mum, my sister.

Is it gay to love another man?

If it's like fatherly love or brotherly

love, I don't think I

don't think it's even gay if 2 guys are

feeling bored and they fiddle each— fiddle

with each other. Did you notice Nobita's

sweat stains in the video? No, I've never

noticed that. He does seem like a very

sweaty person. For example, I got a BJ

from a bisexual guy, but that doesn't make

me gay.

I'm not interested in guys at

all. That's why I don't have any guy

friends, because I don't, I don't want to

fuck them. I don't see the point in

meeting up with someone if you don't want

to fuck them. And what are you supposed to

do then? Just talk? Chat and talk? We can

do that over Facebook Messenger. Don't

need to meet up to talk.

Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights. Thank

you. I'll enjoy that $2 at

the expense of women's rights.

That's why you have no friends. Exactly,

that's what I've been saying all the time.

I don't have any friends because I don't

see the point in having friends. The point

in having friends is to have someone to

talk to. Well, I have internet friends. I

have people that I know on the internet

that I kind of consider to be friends that

I can talk to. I'm not going to meet them

because we're not going to have sex. So

what's the point?

You can do everything online apart

from sex. You said

a few streams ago you wish you had a guy

friend. I don't know. I'm very confused

about it. Sometimes I do think it might be

I'm not sure.

Maybe in my mind I have like a picture of

what a great guy friend would be like,

but then in reality it's never like that.

It's always really boring.

What was the situation with the guy giving

you a BJ? Well, it was about 2 years ago

and I was really depressed because I

couldn't find a girlfriend. And then I was

on the computer around 1 AM. He came home

back to the guest house and he just

started massaging me from behind and then

he started touching my nipples. And then

he kept trying to put his hands down my

trousers. I stopped him. I put my arm

across my stomach to stop his hand going

in, but he kept trying to touch my dick.

So I gave up and I just let him. And then

he kept asking me if I wanted to go to his

room to have sex, and I kept saying no.

And then he said, oh, do you want to go to

the park then? I said, okay, because I

thought we were just going to go to the

park to chat. I just wanted to talk to

someone because I was feeling so lonely

and depressed. And then he started

touching me again. Well, it was dark and

it was midnight and there was no one else

there, so I just thought, ugh, I'll just

let him since I'm sexually frustrated

right now. And it's not like I have

anything better. No women are interested

in me. And then he just gave me

a BJ right there on the spot.

And it was weird. I didn't like it. I

closed my eyes and I was picturing girls

whilst he did it.

It smelled bad. I remember it smelling

bad, like the smell of his saliva was just

kind of horrible.

It's not that he had bad breath, it was

just guy's breath, you know? Guy's breath

kind of smells different. I'm very gay for

you. Here's some money. Oh, thank you.

I'll be gay for money. So if you're going

to give me $50, you can give me a blowjob

if you like. I wouldn't say no.

As soon as he finished doing it, I went to

the toilet and I washed myself off in

the sink just to get the smell off. What

are your views on Brexit?

Hmm. Does Brexit mean less immigrants?

I don't think less immigrants would be a

bad thing. There's already loads of

immigrants in England. Do we really need

more?

I think it's okay to have a small

percentage of immigrants in a country,

but not too much. Then it just gets out of

hand.

I think Japan has, has things right when

it comes to migrants. Japan has the right

I don't vote though, so it doesn't really

matter. The reason why I don't vote for

elections or stuff like this is because I

don't know enough about it, and I believe

if you don't know about what's going on,

then you shouldn't vote because you don't

understand how your vote's going to affect

things. If you're going to vote, you

should research and know what you're

voting for. I'm too lazy to research and I

just don't care, so I don't think I have

the right to vote. Thanks for the dollar,

Axel Alberto.

I have no idea how my vote would affect

things. I don't even think it would make

any difference though. I'm a very negative

thinker. I think, what's the point in

voting? It's just one vote. It's not gonna

make a difference. Doesn't really matter.

I think Japan would kind of suck if there

were loads of immigrants everywhere. I

think one of the things I love about Japan

is that it's mostly Japanese people. And

the culture is Japanese. You feel like

you're in Japan when you're in Japan, and

that's how it should be.

Where are most of your viewers from?

Surprisingly, most of them are from

California. There's way more Californian

viewers than there are any other states.

And it's about 35% American, 15 or

12% UK. The rest is about 5%. So if

I go to Japan, I want it to be like I'm in

Japan. I don't want to feel like I'm in

Middle East, in the Middle East, or I'm

like in India. If I want to feel like I'm

in India, I'd go to India.

It's okay if they have their own little

special town like Chinatown. But it should

just be contained in that area as like a

tourist attraction.

How much money would it take for you to

strip? Not a lot, but I wouldn't do it

on YouTube because I'd get banned.

That's what I don't like about Malaysia.

It's just so fragmented. There's the

Malays and then there's the Chinese

Malays. And the Malays kind of hate the

Chinese Malays, and then the Chinese

Malays look down on the true Malays,

calling them lazy and stuff. And then

there's a big population of Indian people,

and it's like it's all segregated.

They all live in different areas. They all

speak different languages. Like, the

Malays speak Malay, the Chinese Malays

speak Chinese, Indians speak Indian. It's

just a mess. It's a mess of a country and

they don't even sell pork and bacon.

I mean, what kind of country does not eat

bacon? That's just weird.

My sister loves Malaysia for some reason.

I think it's just because we have family

there. My family has no

interest in Japan. They just don't care.

They have no interest in coming here.

My dad's probably gonna die without even

ever being to Japan before. It's just kind

of depressing, I think, because I think

Japan's a great country. I complain about

Japan a lot, but you have to understand,

I do love it here, and I do think it's the

best country in the world. Otherwise, I

wouldn't have tried so hard to come here,

would I? Why would I keep coming to Japan

if I didn't think it was the best country

in the world? If there was a better

country than Japan, I would be there now.

It is hands down the best country. It's

modern, it's clean, it's safe. Women are

Food's not bad.

I can't think of a country that's better

than Japan. Korea would be a close second.

America? I'd hate to live in America.

It's way too big. The public transport

looks rubbish. You need a car to get

anywhere. People are scary in America.

They're like all gangster and hipster and

they have guns. And they don't have

social anxiety in America. Everyone just

talks to everyone like they're best

That's my perception of America.

No offense. America is just way too big.

How can a country be that big?

It's against the physics of law. I mean,

the laws of physics.

The thing I like about Japan is in general

people keep to themselves. They don't just

randomly talk to strangers.

And then there's mass shootings and

terrorist stuff in America that just

doesn't happen in Japan. Sure,

sometimes there's mass stabbings. There

was a big mass stabbing some time ago, I

can't remember. And there was some

mentally ill Japanese guy who drove his

car into a crowd in Akihabara.

I've never wanted to go to America. It

just— it doesn't appeal to me. I like

seeing America in films or movies. Or TV

shows, and that's how I like— that's

how I like America on the screen, in

fiction.

Please at least stream shirtless. No, I

don't like my shirtless chest. I have a

very bony chest, a very bony rib cage.

It doesn't look sexy.

Oh, I had a shower, so it's all wet.

Situation with the wife is she wants me to

come home. And I'm thinking of going home.

Can you tell us the story of how you met

your wife and your journey with her?

Uh, thanks. Yeah, I met her on Tinder.

I have a whole video talking about it.

It's about 10 minutes, but it all boils

down to I met her on Tinder and then we

got married. I think it's a good story.

Countries from best to worst: Taiwan,

Japan, USA. I went to Taiwan. I didn't

like it. I lived in— I

stayed in Taichung. Taichung. They had no

public transport apart from buses. And I

hate buses. Makes me feel sick and there's

too much interaction with other people.

They don't have trains there. They're

building a train, a subway system,

underground system, but it's not finished

yet. And it's way too hot. They have weird

food like stinky tofu. They have a lot

of food that smells bad. Do you think

Chris Broad was nice to you so you would

take down the video? Yes, I think that's

exactly why he was nice to me and why he

reached out to me, because I

exposed the village he lived in. I don't

understand why he cares so much. He

doesn't live there anymore. Okay, so maybe

his family still lives there. No one gives

a shit about his family. And Langley— oh

shit, I just said it— Langley is a very

small village. I mean, it's not a very

small village, Okay, it's a fairly small

village, but still, there's going to be a

couple thousand people living there. How

are they going to track down his family

just because I told them— just because I

said that he came from Langley?

I can tell you where my parents live.

They live in Harrietsham. You'd have to

search the entire place.

All you'd have to do is do a Google search

because someone doxxed me.

I had a friend from Langley, Peter.

What was his last name? Peter.

I forgot. Peter.

He had blonde hair. USA would destroy

China. Taiwan is a country. What do

you think would happen if Trump went crazy

and he decided to just nuke China?

Would the entire world just declare war on

America? Would the entire world be able to

beat America in a war?

I feel like they would have a very hard

time. America has the most powerful

navy and most powerful air force.

Military bases all over the place. They

could just simultaneously nuke everywhere.

Sometimes I wonder if I was the president,

would I nuke somewhere? Imagine it was my

last days as president and I was bored

with life and I was depressed and I was

gonna die anyway. Why not have some fun

and nuke somewhere, see what happens? No,

that's wrong. Lots of people would die.

That's not a good thing.

There's a lot of shouting coming from

outside. I think there's some kind of

election going on. The annoying thing

about Japan when there's elections, they

start being very noisy.

They start driving around in these vans

that have megaphone speakers broadcasting

something.

We nuked Japan into oblivion.

Was it really necessary to nuke them?

I think it was just a show of power to

Russia. They didn't really

need to nuke Japan. They were already

wiping out cities just using firebombs and

and normal bombs. How tall

is your wife? She's pretty short. She's

about 5'3 maybe.

Can you hear that?

Not sure what to do.

Okay, plans for today. Let's plan today.

Before it's over, we're going to buy some

food and then come back

and watch YouTube. Sounds good.

Bum bum bum. Bum bum

bum bum bum bum bum bum bum.

Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum.

I can't believe my cat died.

When is the dick reveal video coming out?

Never. I sold a few people pictures

of my dick.

One person paid $100, and I sent him a few

pictures of it.

That's a secret.

My wife is not supposed to know.

Do do do do do do.

I miss British TV, actually. I miss good

old shows like QI. I don't even know

what's going on now. I don't even know

what's popular on TV now.

At this point, you spend most of your

money on hotels. I know,

such a waste. I don't know how much money

I've wasted on hotels now. Must be about

$2,000.

I need it though. I need a break from

things sometimes. Just need to be by

Show us around Japan. That's not really

what I do. That's what Chris Broad

does. There's no point trying to compete

with Chris when he does it so much better.

I show you the inside of hotel rooms very

thoroughly.

These toothbrushes are terrible. I used it

once and it all started to, um,

to go bendy and broken.

Cheap toothbrush.

How long is my dick? It's about as

long as this phone.

The same size. It's about that long.

And I can't do any more outside streams

because I used all my data, which is

not good.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what

to do. I don't know what to do with my

life. I want to get back to making

interesting videos. You know, creative

videos. For some reason,

the video titled Stop Saying My My Wife

Looks Like My Mum has over 100,000 views

now, which is pretty amazing considering

it's a shit video. It's basically me just

saying, please don't call my wife my mum.

There's an age difference. Blah blah blah

I don't really have any ideas now.

How many women have you slept with? I

think it's nearing 20 now, but the

official number is about 12.

Ignore what I said before that.

I scrapped the Korean girl video as well

because I set it to public last night and

I woke up the next morning, it only had

800 views. So it's not— my videos aren't

getting pushed out to people and

it's a little bit scary. What if I'm being

blacklisted?

I don't think it's very interesting

though. It's just me whining about some

ugly Korean woman— Korean girl I met. She

was such a bitch though. God, I hate her.

She blocked me on Facebook as well. I

didn't even do anything. I just said hi.

I just tried to make conversation and she

blocked me. Maybe she

thinks I'm really ugly. Bet you anything

if I was a really hot white guy, she

definitely would not be blocking me. How

many men have you slept with? I slept with

a 10-year-old boy called Seth. We had a

sleepover and we shared the bed.

I made a video about it. It's called I

Slept with My Best Friend.

I hate Seth as well. He thinks he's so

good because he graduated from Oxford

University, but he got friend-zoned by his

fat girlfriend Charlotte, who's not

fat anymore. She's actually quite hot. I

found her on Facebook as well.

Can you imagine if you were having sex on

this bed and you had the curtains open and

someone came down this staircase and they

were watching? Would you quickly close the

curtains, or would you pretend that you

didn't know he was there watching? And

just carry on doing it, feeling even more

aroused.

Oh yeah, you like that? Watch me now.

Take a photo.

There's someone outside. There's always

someone here making noise. It's

irritating. There is Can

you hear

it?

Don't be so quiet.

It takes so long to clean.

Oh, did you see her? It's a hot Japanese

MILF. Maybe I can ask them

to clean my room and then I'll hide and

then lock the door when they're in there

Where's she gone?

I think she's gone now.

Daniel, do you know Emma Watson? Yeah,

she's ugly. She has a big forehead.

She looks like a man wearing a wig.

Oh, she's back.

She's doing the vacuuming.

I think she's vacuuming. The corridor.

Did you actually sleep with the

10-year-old kid?

Yeah, we slept in the same bed. We didn't

have sex. It was a sleepover,

but I was

also a 10-year-old kid. I wasn't an adult.

He was my friend from primary school.

We had a sleepover. We showed each other

our willies. Not really, but I did have

another friend called Ricky, and my mum

keeps telling me that one day she caught

me and Ricky in the spare bedroom showing

each other our woolies and we were

comparing the size. I don't remember that.

I honestly do not remember that happening.

I don't think she would make that up. She

said, one day I caught you and Ricky in a

room playing with each other's woolies and

then I smacked you very hard.

I do remember this other thing that

happened though. I was in the bath and I

used to like playing with my willy when I

was a kid. I would just sit there playing

with the foreskin because it was soft. I

didn't have an erection. I was like an

8-year-old kid and I'd sit in the bath

just playing with my foreskin. And I

remember looking at the door and it was

open slightly and I saw my mum peeping and

I quickly said, please don't tell Dad.

That's all I said. I was scared that she

would tell my dad what I was doing.

I remember when I was a kid, I used to go

to sleep with my hands in my trousers, in

my underwear, just, just feeling the

foreskin because it was so soft and

comforting to touch. I don't do it

My wife does it for me.

Come on, no one else did that when they

were a kid? It was just so nice and soft

I also used to pick my nose a lot. I still

do, actually. Maybe that's why my nose is

so big. My mum caught me doing it. I

picked my nose and I ate it. My mum— I saw

my mum standing outside the window

laughing at me. I think I was about 12.

It was so embarrassing.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and

have my finger up my nose and I'm picking.

I don't even realize what I'm doing. I'm

half asleep. I got kind of—

I get worried that my wife saw me do it,

but every time I've done it, she's still

sleeping, which is good. I don't know if

she's seen me do it before. I'm scared to

ask. It's not my fault, I'm half asleep.

I can't control my actions.

Did you ever get smegma when you first

retracted your foreskin? I did, I had so

much, it was disgusting. It was like

someone— what's that word? You know that

thing you do as a kid at school when you

get wet newspaper and you wrap it around

the balloon? Papier-mâché.

It was like my foreskin was

papier-mâché'd.

It was like a load of— a load of dry— like

a load of wet tissue paper was stuck to it

and then it dried. Because I was really

scared to pull back the foreskin. I

thought my penis would drop out. I thought

the foreskin was holding the penis in

place,

and I was really scared to pull it back.

I thought something bad would happen.

Who's that?

And then I pulled it all the way back and

there's all this hard white stuff stuck to

it and I'm peeling it off and

it was kind of painful because it was

stuck to the foreskin.

I had no idea what it was. I was about 14,

I think. I never washed my dick until I

was about 14. I washed the outside, but I

never washed inside. I didn't know.

I remember my dad kept saying, wash your

willy properly. I didn't know what he

meant by that. He didn't Show me exactly

what to do or how to do it.

Are they supposed— is your dad supposed

to? Which arc of the hiding in my room

animates this? It's another repeat of

running away.

What's my religion? I don't believe in

religion or God. I think it's a little bit

I don't believe in anything.

If there's no proof that it exists, then I

don't believe it's real.

Maybe I should stop. Maybe I should stop

washing my dick and then let the smegma

build up again, see what happens.

What proof is there that God exists? Have

we found him? Did he leave footprints?

There's no proof. And even if God did

exist, I still wouldn't change my way of

thinking or life. I'm not gonna start

obeying him. I'm not gonna

start, um,

doing what he wants me to do. I'd say,

fuck him, it's my life, I'll live it how I

want to. God or no God wouldn't make any

difference. I'd just go, oh, so there is a

God, huh, that's pretty cool.

Doesn't really change anything though.

Maybe I would change my ways if I knew

hell existed. I wouldn't like to go to