Kick Livestreams/back 2025-10-23 20_50 [3153b656-back] 480p

Still message— no message from my girlfriend.

Kind of weird.

I don't think— has she ever messaged this late before?

Surely there must have been a time where she messaged this late before. I think there was a time because I remember saying, wondering where you were.

Wait, if I search up the phrase wondering where you were—

Hey, don't know how she's doing. She didn't message me today. I think there might have been one or two other times where She didn't message me until like midday,

but it's nearly 12.

Usually she'll say good morning every day,

so a little bit on edge.

Battlefield might help distract me.

Battlefield, let's go!

Ah, game's so nice to look at after a while of not looking.

What? I did message her. I messaged her this morning saying good morning,

and usually she'd reply within an hour. What?

What? I hate this level. This level sucks.

He dead.

He dead.

Come on, reload faster. Oh my God, putting the slugs in one by one. Why don't I have a magazine?

Kind of stupid farmer shotgun, is it? Why can't they— I don't understand why they don't make a shotgun that just has a clip. Why you got to put the bullets in one by one?

Yeah, we exclusive. He dead.

What?

I'm— I missed all of them. This stupid shotgun ran out of bullets.

You're dead. I did. I'm number 2.

Yeah, maybe she's got a lot going on. It's probably the reason. I bet you anything it's the reason.

You gotta realize that, um, people have their own lives and other stuff going on, and it's not always all about you. It's a hard truth to swallow, but that's just how it is.

He dead. Not everyone has no life and sits around doing nothing all day like you.

Oh,

oh, uh.

Ah, 86 damage at least. Well, 600 people tuning in. What's up guys, where are you tuning in from?

He dead.

Whoa, I nearly got him. I

did.

I did.

I'm gonna be dead.

I run around with my shield, maybe it'll protect me.

I did.

He dead. Oh, I blew up the electrical thing.

What?

Stop running into bullets? Where am I supposed to run then? Do I just sit here? There's someone on the roof.

I got the shotgun, I need to get close range. That's why I hate this level.

In here you got close range.

Oh, he dead. 130 damage.

He dead.

Who's running around?

We got it.

I'm dead.

Someone in here?

Oh, hello Mango! Where you tuning in from? Where you tuning in from? Yeah, I had lunch. Bacon sausage. What?

I'm number 1. What, guys? I'm number 1. Look, I'm number 1.

I'm hiding here.

I'm number one.

He dead.

I'm number one.

First ever number one, but we still lost.

Oh, first time I finished number 1.

How's market doing?

Not really doing much, is

it?

Battlefield 6 pro streamer.

Well, we lost the game because we

didn't get enough points overall, but I got the most points in my team.

There's definitely something weird going on.

It's not usual that she doesn't message me by this time.

I have a bad feeling about this.

Eric sent me a friend request.

Come on, climb.

Are you dead?

Because normal cigarettes cost £14 a packet and you can't smoke them inside and they give you cancer and the smell blingers.

And, um, yeah, I don't really want everywhere smelling like cigarettes, but mango flavor, you don't smell it, it just disappears into the air.

I'm dead.

What was that? What's that? My take profit.

Oh, take profit triggered. £4.

Market tanking.

Target manking.

He dead.

Where is he?

Whoa, target mankin— I mean, market tankin'.

Oh, I nearly got him.

You did.

Oh, we're still losing. The hell?

A number 7.

Oh,

he dead.

Oh, I missed again.

Oh, what? That was my last bullet.

Ah, that would have been

good. What kind of pin there?

Oh.

Everyone's doing it. Everyone's doing it.

Oh, my jump shot's not doing very well today.

Number 6.

One. Oh yeah.

Oh,

I'm dead.

14 damage. Rubbish.

Hit that. 7. Number 7.

Oh, so many of them.

You dead.

You dead.

I did.

Oh, the market didn't— oh, it tanked and then bounced.

Don't know if I want to go short again.

He dead.

He dead, he dead. I dead. I'm number 4. Well, doing pretty good.

I'm dead.

With— are we— we're getting destroyed. 50 to 200, absolutely destroyed.

There's not even any point playing.

57 damage.

He dead. He not dead.

Wow, Market tanking again.

Not dead.

Wow, Market's tanking.

You dead.

What?

Bomb dead.

He dead. Ah, the aim was too to the right.

Well, market's tanking. What the fuck?

Maybe I go short. 0.10 units.

Not

dead.

Ah, I'm dead.

I'm dead.

I'm dead.

I'm dead.

We lose. Um, number 5.

2 matches lost, 100% loss rate. That's just how it goes sometimes.

Shouldn't have gone short. Where everyone tuning in from?

Where everyone tuning in from?

2 hours until market open.

Oh, I guess I'll go to Tesco tomorrow.

Will Kick pay me? What if I'm at Tesco?

If I streamed it, yeah, but I probably won't stream it. He dead, he dead, he dead, he dead, he dead, he dead. Whoa, my God, what? How many kills? I got 4 kills already.

Did you see that?

What?

Oh my God, did you see that? I did a jump up the box with a back jump.

This is my favorite level.

What?

Yo, he dead,

he dead.

I'm burning, I'm dead, I'm burning real bad.

Where's he gone?

Well, I killed someone. They walked into my fire.

Ow.

Too dangerous.

He's just standing there and he still killed you.

Damn storm storming out there.

Can you hear it?

We're 12 o'clock. I got no message.

What's going on?

Do a prediction. Will she message me all day at all?

What was that?

He dead.

Oh God, you got so much like anxiety and worry when you're in a relationship.

Oh,

I really hope the market is going to be exciting today to help speed up time.

Oh, I got him!

Oh my God, what? I swear I shot first.

Are you dead?

Why are they all just standing there like bots? Look, these are like— are they bots? They're just standing there.

He dead. Oh, I was gonna rev you.

Oh, he dead.

I'm number 1 again. Holy shit, I'm getting good at this game.

Where's Ollie and Mummy? They kept saying I suck. Look, I'm number 1, guys.

Are you seeing this?

What?

Oh, we're still losing the game though.

You know, the reason why I'm number 1 is because everyone else sucks, and that's why we're losing the entire game.

That's the only reason I'm

number 1.

Ah,

I'm dead.

I'm dead. No,

where is he?

Wait, oh.

Where everyone's in room where everyone's in room where. Oh, I didn't know I can get in here.

What? Seven damage.

At least they can't get me in here.

My little balcony.

4 damage.

Ah, I'm still number 1.

Uh, gonna lose that.

Ah.

Fire grenade's pretty good.

Wait, what?

Oh.

We losing, we dying, we're losing and dying. Oh, lost again.

Oh God, I'm getting really on edge.

It's gonna be 1 o'clock soon. She didn't message me.

Oh God,

I'm not waiting for 12. It's already gone past 12.

I'm saying like the day is half done. What's going on?

Something really bad must have happened.

She can't be still asleep.

Something bad must happen where she doesn't want to tell me, or she's not in the mental state to tell me because it's like devastating bad.

Oh God.

So I mean, there's either 2 outcomes: I've done something wrong

and I lost her, which is like the main concern, and number 2, like something devastating happened to her, which is preferable, I guess.

But your mind leans towards Worst outcome.

Oh, how did I not kill that one?

I don't know what I do if I lose her.

I can't continue like this, just like playing Battlefield all day. I think I have to get a job.

I'm not gonna like start calling her when she hasn't replied,

sound like I'm obsessed.

You did. I did.

I need to like get into the world and meet people.

You already? Yeah, but I'm hiding it.

He dead.

If I start spamming her phone, then I seem like I'm nuts.

Who wants a controlling boyfriend? I messaged her this morning, like 9 o'clock, half 9, which is when I usually do.

He dead.

He dead.

I did.

I'm number 3.

Hit it.

Oh no, shotgun!

Why? Where's he gone? What?

He dead.

He dead.

I'm number 2.

He dead. Damn, I'm good. I'm destroying them.

Oh, backflipped up onto the truck. I'm number 2.

He dead. I dead.

Ah,

I didn't see him there.

Where'd they go? He dead.

I'm number 1! 3rd time I'm number 1, and also 3rd time we're losing the entire game. Why are we losing every game, but I'm number 1? It's really weird. The winds are off today. Girlfriend not texting me all day, number 1 every match. Something's happening with the universe, and I don't like it.

Have you seen that clip of that streamer called Shroud saying his biggest dream in life is for there to be an MMO that's so good you want to play it until the day you die? And I thought, that is so sad. That is so extremely sad.

That all you want to do in life is be hooked on a video game and play it until the day you die. That's fucking sad.

I only play video games because I've got nothing else to do.

I don't want to play it. It's just if I didn't play it, I don't know what I'd do with my life. I'd just sit there staring at a wall.

What's going on?

He dead.

My biggest dream in life is to get a girlfriend who doesn't leave me.

Yeah, he'll probably think that's sad.

We're gonna lose again.

You dead?

You're not dead.

I'm losing it. I'm losing my mojo.

We lose.

What's market doing?

Bouncing.

I have built a nice life stacked on top of a foundation made out of sand and matchsticks, and it's all gonna go poof at any given time. My love life, my financial life.

All sits atop a foundation of tinder

and kindling.

That's why I live every day in fear over

things I have basically no control over.

The trick is to let go.

Hmm.

I shall let go. I do not care about what the outcome is. I am free.

Recently, to help myself sleep better at night, I've gone to this— I've reverted to this mode where I pretend I'm a 10-year-old kid again, and I just picture my dad doing his stuff, my mum doing her stuff, and then I'm looking forward to playing video games. It's Christmas and I'm in bed and I'm not responsible for anything,

and all I have to worry about is nothing really.

Really helps fall asleep easily.

Do you remember those days? You didn't have to worry about bills, you didn't have to worry about a relationship,

your parents had everything sorted.

Good times.

Never slept better.

Ah, who is shooting me? I can't even see.

See, 24 minutes until 1 o'clock and no text.

Should I text again?

Double text?

It really is hard to like turn my mind off and fall asleep. Got like a million thoughts. Well, just one thought really, maybe two, whizzing around.

Usually I can't wait to get out of bed. He dead.

He dead. I can't wait to get out of bed and see the sun again.

Damn, did you hear that?

I'm alive!

He dead. He not dead. He dead.

My last bullet.

Wasted. I haven't found the counting thing to really help much. I tried the 853 Hz frequency thing too, didn't work. He dead.

I'm number 4.

Stocks are a good distraction. I

did.

Don't res, don't res, don't res. Oh, you fucking idiot, just about to res you. Oh, it's weird. It's like you swear you clicked it and shot, but nothing hit him because you died first.

I still shot.

Oh, number 4.

I think I really gotta look for a job, guys.

I think I'm like starting to lose it mentally.

I really— I think I gotta get a job. Like, even if I hate it and I get fired, even if it's just a couple months,

I just— I feel like I'm starting to lose it. It's more like a mental thing than a financial thing.

It's just— oh God, I don't know.

I feel like I need to get into the world.

Because you have no purpose. Yeah, my whole purpose just hinges around my girlfriend and stocks. I feel like I'm going insane.

It's really not healthy.

Even if it's just part-time, be something to talk about as well.

What?

Managed. I wonder how you managed to cope living in that house with your car.

Yeah,

I kind of miss doing every, to be honest.

I kind of felt

happy figuring out ways to solve problems like the Doge phone. Considering buying a van

to try and smooth— make things smoother.

I

bet, um, being retired and old feels like this. Like, at first it's nice because you don't have to work and you've got pension, and then you just feel like, okay, what do I do with my life? I remember there was this old guy at my dad's company who was retired, but he'd still come in to do a

few days a week because he didn't know what else to do with his life. He said he would go crazy if he just sat indoors all day.

At the time I was young, like 18, 19, and I thought You crazy? You could just sit at home playing video games all day. Why would you want to work?

He dead.

I dead.

He dead.

Oh, dead.

Did it.

Well, we're winning.

Lost 3 matches today.

Ah, wait, where'd he come from?

Where's he going? He dead.

I dead.

Nearly 1 o'clock, I got no message. I'm gonna start losing it.

When she does message me, I'm gonna say, I was worried,

and then she'll say, I'm sorry I didn't text you, but I was so something.

You dead?

No, it's— I'm not worried she's lost interest. We were texting until like midnight yesterday.

She says, I don't like sudden Unexplainable changes.

Maybe it's my autism.

I don't like not knowing what's going on because my mind starts like imagining the worst.

I think it's like some— she's probably got some drama going on because she did allude to it last night because she said she didn't want to get into it.

No, I don't think she's with another guy. I think if she was with another guy, she'd be like extra careful to not make me suspicious.

He back.

I did.

He dead.

Oh, we're gonna lose again. I thought we were winning.

You're dead. You're dead.

Ah, oh, I was just gonna res you.

If I knew the reason why she hasn't texted, would it still bother you? No, it wouldn't, because I'd be like, okay, now I know.

But not knowing

grinds you down, doesn't it?

Market tanking. Oh yeah, I'm up £1.27.

What— why does that mean I don't care about her?

Nearly 1 o'clock. I got no message.

It only bothers you that you don't know. What's wrong with that? If I knew the reason, why would it bother me anymore? I mean, it depends what the reason is. If the reason is like, oh, I'm in America now,

I wouldn't be like, okay, now I know, I'm good.

I mean, I'd only be relieved if the reason was not bad.

I don't know, maybe she lost her phone. The phone broke.

Her phone caught on fire.

Oh shit, if she actually like— I don't know, like if her phone blew up, how would I contact her?

Because I know her number, but if the phone blew up, then the SIM card is lost. She would get a new SIM card and phone, new number.

Oh God, I need toilet.

I don't know if I need toilet or if it's a fart. Let me test. Okay, I think it's just a fart. Yeah, I didn't think about this. I don't— I think she knows my number. I mean, she's obviously got my number saved on her phone,

but if she lost the phone, she's not gonna remember my number.

I have her number written on a piece of paper just in case.

But most people don't do that, do they?

Maybe I like give her my number on a piece of paper.

Well, I didn't know that was a grenade. It's like a red dot.

Hmm, I think maybe people can back up their phones. And like restore a backup if they lose their phone. Most people only have one phone as well.

Oh yeah, I could look up her social media.

Yeah, I do know her social media actually.

Ah.

I'm number 6.

He

dead.

I'm number 7.

I'm dead.

Hahaha, he dead, he dead. Hahaha, can I— oh, I thought I'd get a 4th kill. Did you see that? They just lined up one by one.

Still number 6.

You dead.

If they kill someone and I revive them, do they lose their kill?

I'm dead.

I'm dead.

Still no message.

He back. I'm dead.

Come on, get over the rubble.

I really hope the market does something today. Yesterday, really, time just flew.

What day is it? It's the 23rd. I've got 7 days until I'm supposed to meet her.

Today's Thursday, isn't it?

I'm really looking to grind out hours for the next 7 days.

Wow, what? Why is the score 0-0? Is it bugged?

Look, the score's 0.

He did—

I think the game's bugged.

Look, or is it just me?

Why is score zero?

I wondered why this is going on forever.

They said it's a bug, but is it actually zero or is it just a number display?

It's just never-ending. Might as well just have a never-ending mode because you just start a new game anyway.

What's market doing?

Down a bit.

Oh God, I feel like today's gonna drag really slow.

It's already 1 o'clock. I've got about 9 hours left.

Rubbish manor here. I didn't put my rubbish out.

Uh, is this game never gonna end or what?

I res'd him, he didn't res me.

Oh, it ended. Thank God. I thought it was never going to end.

This is the face of a man who's completely stopped trying.

They don't even work anymore. Don't even know why he bothers. It's worth a shot

if it costs you nothing to do and takes no time to do. Worth a shot, isn't it?

I've got 7 days of anxiety building up

to our meeting date.

It's like all this pent-up energy. I need to go run 10 laps around Bog Hill.

Not built up. It's gonna be building up over until 6, 7 days countdown until it's like tomorrow's the day.

Her life seems so hectic. Like her life seems so volatile that I don't know. Like anything could happen and it wouldn't be out of the ordinary.

Oh, I hate this level.

Can we see these people on the roof?

I'm dead.

I gotta go Tesco tomorrow.

Ah, what? Why did it spawn me right in front of someone?

Ah, I cannot concentrate. I'm so distracted.

What?

I'm now remembering what Chihiro said about how she hated living in the countryside because it was boring and that she loves being in a city.

And she loves being in a city because she's got friends and stuff and family. And then it made me think,

it's all about the people, isn't it?

Like, I mean, tropical island, deserted islands, beautiful and everything, but do you want to be stranded there all alone even if you got infinite food?

But I don't want to be in a city again. Walking around on the streets.

Oh God.

It's really frustrating because I want to take a break, but I can't because I need to grind.

Whoa, did you see that?

I feel like I need to clear my head or something.

I'll do it tomorrow at Tesco.

No, they res just as I res them.

Did I—

we're losing again. I haven't won a single match.

Oh,

when you start getting shot at like that, there's no point even trying. You might as well just Give up.

Here.

Might as well just stay here.

Oh, come on. What?

£2.80.

Market open in 1 hour and 25 minutes.

Come on, eyes on the money.

It's only 9 hours left.

What?

Really getting fed up with this. Oh God, I can't play it. Oh God. Oh Jesus.

I don't know what to do.

I might turn the heating on.

Do I feel mentally unhealthy? Yeah, I do.

I feel like I should not stream in this state, but I need the money so badly.

I felt trapped.

I just want the time to pass.

Oh hey, Ollie, you missed that I was number 1 3 times. So who sucks at gaming now?

I was number 1 on the leaderboard, wasn't I, guys? Tell him.

Oh, blue ticks, guys! Blue ticks, blue ticks!

She just read my message.

She typing. What's it gonna be?

Oh, what's she gonna—

oh God,

oh God, I'm almost on edge.

Please be nothing, please be nothing.

I thought you smoked as well. Why is it lame?

Oh, thank God. It's nothing, guys. Ah, ah,

ah,

ah, thank God. I love all you. I love you, Mommy. I love you, Ollie. Life's good again.

Ah, I just mentally nutted.

I could kiss all of you.

Oh, thank God.

Whoa,

I feel like I could puke from happiness.

Oh God,

I

feel like I could cry.

She just had a migraine.

Oh, thank fuck.

It's like all the dark clouds disappeared.

Oh Jesus,

I was about to crash out.

Ah, God,

I was even contemplating getting a job.

Fuck that.

Oh God,

now I got to dig myself out of

8th place. What? Oh God, that like mentally destroyed me.

I hate not knowing

Heats you up inside. Oh, there goes the camera.

At least we got audio.

Camera back.

Yeah, well, now I'm not gonna reply for 2 hours.

I'm not replying straight away. I'm gonna reply in like 2 hours.

Come on, I gotta get out of number 8.

He dead? You're not dead. Where's my melee?

Why did I put melee on Z?

Blue ticks, what you mean? I haven't opened the message.

I read the message on the notification tray so I can see what it says without actually clicking it.

Jesus, I was scared.

I thought I fucked up.

I don't think I'm getting out of number 8. I'm just way too far behind.

Looks the same as Battlefield 3. Yeah, they're always the same, aren't they? 4 classes, capture objectives, run around a map. Kidding.

And they do a few changes, like you can drag people to heal them.

He dead. And then you got graphic updates.

Am I getting better? Uh, yeah,

definitely.

I just had a mental freakout.

Now I know

if she gets a migraine, she won't message me.

I think she's done this before, actually. Now I remember. Did I? Did I?

I'm number 8. Yeah, it's just a migraine.

Hit it.

Now we lock in streaming every day, all day. I will get that bag. The ball bag.

I mean, I don't know, I'm like a crack addict when it comes to relationships.

Really, I should stay away, but I can't.

Relationships are like the most mentally destructive thing for me.

I don't know why I place so much importance on them.

Relationships for me are like what food is for fat people.

He dead. Whoa, I nearly got triple kill.

I'm nearly gonna take over number 7.

It says Tux guy is slightly ahead of me.

No, no, no.

He dead. He back. Oh, number 8 tux guy left. Now I'm number 7, but it's still the bottom. The next guy is 300 points above me.

Ah.

I was gonna reclaim number 8. Oh fuck,

I'm number 7. Oh, cuz someone new joined and he's got 0 points.

Can I overtake Link? Nice, 300 above me. Ah.

Too much checking my score.

Come on, give me points, give me points,

give me points.

50.

Ah, last place.

Why is your gamer name I Hate Weekends?

That goes all the way back to when I— what was it about? I think when I worked at the petrol station and I hated doing night shifts on the weekend because that's when you get all the troublemakers.

And then I started hating weekends because of the stock market. Being closed on the weekend.

Oh, thank God. I was so stressed out about that.

Now let's focus on stocks and streaming for today.

Now I chose this username before I got into stocks because I remember having it on my Rainbow Six account and people always said in the chat of the game, why do you hate weekends?

And then I'd make up lies like Oh, because my girlfriend won't see me or something,

so I got bored of telling the actual reason.

God, I feel like I can enjoy the game now. Lock in.

We're locking in.

Aim for objectives.

He dead. No, I pressed re— oh, I still got him. What a noob.

Oh, that should have been easy.

Lock in.

What? I'm number 4.

He dead. I dead.

No,

I did.

I'm number 6.

Oh, I got him.

No, I shot like 3 times. I should have gotten that one.

Points, give me points. 300 points on number 5. Oh, I picked up someone's gun by accident.

What's happening here?

He back.

Well, this gun's good. Damn, you see how much damage it did? I'm number 6. Give me points.

Oh, 1 point.

No.

Oh,

6.

The storm's storming.

Why are you doing that?

He dead.

Oh, oh,

another 2 over there.

He back.

Hit it.

Ah, I'm number 6.

Da.

Give me points.

What? There's so many of them.

You get ganged up by your own team. Rainbow Six,

you know, you get some stupid trolls on it that start team killing each other.

Ow.

What?

I'm number 6 still.

It's not going good,

even with my mental clarity back.

Oh.

What? Oh my God.

Oh my God.

He dead.

I dead.

Running out of steam here.

Yeah, she messaged. She just had a migraine.

Uh, fucking Claymore.

I'm number 6. I'm 1,000 points away from number 5.

Fucking hell, I can never get a shot. There's so many of them.

I can never get a clear shot. I always get shot at from everywhere.

Come on, jump. Fucking jump. Pressing the fucking jump button.

Why do they put these stupid concrete blocks everywhere?

Oh my God,

number 6. I only got 5 kills, not even double digits. Fucking stupid fucking game.

I hate all the stuff everywhere. They put all this stuff everywhere

getting in the way.

I think I need to try a new gun. I'm getting fed up with the shotgun.

Maybe grenade launcher again.

Oh, not this level! I hate this level. I'm not doing this level. I hate this level so much.

Yeah, House of Guinness was really good. We finished it.

Acting was great, actors were great. It's nice seeing actors you've never seen before.

I really like the blend of drama and history. With like running a business. It appeals to men because it's got like the business side and the violence, and it appeals to women because it's got drama and romance. So that's pretty good.

But I'm on the front page, nice.

Where everyone tuning in for?

I'm one level away from getting that gun I wanted.

I'm getting hungry again.

One hour until market opens.

My short's up £3. Might take profit.

Go, go, go! I'm taking Dr Disrespect's place, number one Battlefield 6 streamer.

I forgot who I am. I'm not a healer.

He did.

Drag me away.

No, I need the flame grenade.

No,

where's my flame grenade? Oh, Assault doesn't get flame grenade.

What

does adrenaline do?

Oh.

What? Get out of the way, you stupid fucking door. Why do they put doors in this game? They keep opening and closing.

I'm number 8. Oh, how I'm running and running, running away, and then he just catches up like that.

Getting fed up.

There's always someone at the side.

Always someone at the side shooting at me.

Look, there he is. Fuck.

They're always at the side, aren't you, you fuckers? I'm still number 8.

You're dead, you're dead.

I'm number 5, nice. Number 8 to 5.

Number 6.

You're dead.

Number— oh, number 6 still.

Oh

no, still number 6. Give me back my number 5. I need 100 points.

At least we're winning.

Still number 6.

Whoa, kill them.

What's my other gadget?

Number— still number 6. I can't catch up to number 5.

Number 5's

not slowing down.

Whoa,

I can't catch up to number 5.

We're gonna win.

He dead. And I'm dead.

I'm nearly gonna take over number 5.

No. Oh, I got him.

I've got the points.

Um, 5 points away from number 5.

I'm 200 points away from number 5.

I'm not gonna get it.

You're dead.

Oh, he's so much further. I am number 5! Oh, I just lost it. I had number 5, then I lost it.

Number 6, I take it.

Up the bum.

Is market tanking or not?

Might be done tanking. I take my £3.

I was £2 away from £800. Bet down to £766 now.

Oh.

Where everyone tuning in from?

Mm-hmm.

Might go for—

might try this new gun,

UMG. I really want level 33.

Lock in. I want number 5 this time.

This gun's a bit slow, isn't it?

Bye, medic me.

BMW E30. Did he put his car as his username? I should have called myself Peugeot E206. What?

Oh.

I killed BMW E30.

Can I change my username? I want to change it to Peugeot E208. He dead.

This gun's rubbish.

He dead.

He dead. Oh, this gun's pretty good.

It's really stable.

Look, there's like hardly any recoil.

Wow, this gun's pretty good. I like this gun.

Ow. Oh, who's shooting me?

Um, I've got a new scope. Get that one.

Got flash hider

and grip.

I'm number 1,

I'm a genius.

Whoops. At least if I kill myself, they can't get the points for killing me.

Hit it.

Why?

Yo.

I'm dead. Ah, number 2 still.

I think it makes you run faster.

Whoa, he dead! I dead! I'm back! I'm dead!

I blew my— no, I didn't.

Blew myself.

He dead. You're not dead.

I'm number one.

He dead.

I dead.

Did it. I did. I'm number 2.

No, I'm going Tesco tomorrow.

Why? Beyond Meat is back down to $2.

I'm number 2.

I'm number 2.

Whoops, accident. I really got to take E off that keybinding.

I hate all

these fences.

Whoa.

Oh, I actually killed— I killed BMW E30.

Oh, I got a new skin.

He dead. I dead.

I did. I'm number 2.

I did.

BMW guy keeps killing me.

Hit

it,

hit it.

Why I keep hitting my mouse on the monitor stand.

I'm number 2.

He

dead.

What? How did none of those hit?

Yep, knew it.

Number 2.

He just slid in and blew up.

What the—

ow!

I'm number 2.

Whoa, triple kill

below them all.

He dead. He dead. No,

number 2!

Damn, I got 6,000 points. No one's taking my number 2 now.

I've got number 2 and we're winning.

Nice.

I'm dead.

Hit it,

hit it!

Damn, I'm getting so many kills. I got 22 kills. Damn, that was pretty good.

Market ripping nice

today, going better now. Rough start, solid recovery.

I'm nearly level 33. The UMG is pretty good.

Where everyone tuning in from?

Hmm, might use

hand stop. Enables weapons to be fired while sprinting. Then

got the laser.

I might use laser.

What does the adrenaline thing do?

I think it just makes you run faster.

Oh, okay, but it makes

it hard to see because everything goes white.

Ow. I

like how the cars blow up. It's pretty cool.

You dead.

Go, go, go. Oh look, I can shoot while sprinting. Oh, that's really cool.

See, look, but then you miss everything.

Thought it made you heal quicker. Yeah, maybe. That's really cool, I can sprint and

shoot.

Whoops, I'm number 2.

Miss. He dead.

He dead. This gun's pretty good.

He did what? I already shot in anticipation.

No, you're dead.

And I did— I blew myself.

I'm number 1! Holy shit, and we're winning. He did, bro. 66.

Oh hey, Degenerator, where you tuning from?

Oh, that's really cool, I could sprint and shoot.

That's so funny, I must look ridiculous.

Come on, attach.

You dead.

I'm number 2. We are still controlling the fight. Keep it going.

What?

Still number 2.

What? Reload.

Hit it.

This gun's good.

Oh, I got the Custom H. What the hell is that?

Whoa, sprint and shoot is really cool.

That's really cool, man. I'm number 2.

I'm winning.

Well,

Kojak killed me.

This

gun's so silly.

What? 13 damage?

I like how you can damage someone ages ago and still get the kill assist.

Whoa, I nearly got him.

I'm number 3. Oh,

at least we're winning.

It's so slow to change guns.

Did

I— are that, um, number 4?

Uh, number 4.

Smoky again, a tank.

Um, 14, 24 minutes.

Oh, the 4x scope.

Oh, I still don't level 33.

Oh, I hate this level.

Turkmenistan. Why are all those countries there ending in -stan?

Oh, I got— what's this? I think it's just a skin, isn't it?

Is it a skin or an upgraded version? I don't get it. Wait, I don't want that gun.

No. I want this one. Yeah, I got the 4x, 2x. Might go 4x.

Extended barrel.

16 players.

I'm hungry.

I might go short.

I see a little red thing on top of my scope. It looks like a jelly tube.

Go up here.

Sneaky, sneaky. Oh, I got him! Did you see that boom from above?

It's so lame being on the roof.

Where's he gone? I can't shoot him.

He dead. Look how lame it is being on the roof.

How do I go down?

I'll take it then.

Give

me that.

No.

I've got the rocket.

What is this, like a rocket launcher?

Dead. He dead.

I dead.

What time is it? Time passed.

I'm only making about $17 for 2 hours. Rubbish, isn't it?

You dead, you dead.

Oh,

I'm only getting $17 to $18 for 2 hours of streaming.

I used to make like 30 to 40 for

2 hours.

He dead. Whoops.

I don't know why. I think Kick have lowered my hourly rate because they're fucking idiots. Bunch of stupid fucking bitches. Lower my hourly rate.

I used to get like $16 or $17 an hour. Now I get $16 or $17 for 2 hours

but work twice as hard.

For the same amount.

Stupid hourly rate thing.

Never had to worry about this on YouTube. All you worry about is keeping people entertained and then hopefully get some donos.

It's way more stressful doing Kick than it is doing YouTube, that's for sure.

Didn't have to worry about this stuff on YouTube.

He dead, he dead.

Where's he going? I'm number 3.

What? I couldn't even see him.

15-minute mark open.

You dead.

Whoa, it's just a flash of light, just came out of nowhere. I'm number 3,

I'm doing pretty good.

Oops.

Where's he going?

It's too dark, I can't see.

He dead.

I'm dead. Oh dude.

What? Where's Claymore's, uh,

We win number 4.

Pretty good. Well, it's time for one more game before market open.

The week's almost done already.

Beyond Meat's at $2.60. I'm down 60% on Beyond Meat.

That's crazy.

What? I said I'm down 60% on Beyond Meat. Why are you asking 60% on gold? I didn't even say gold. I said Beyond Meat. Are you deaf?

I didn't even say anything that sounded anything like gold.

How does Beyond Meat sound like gold? What's wrong with you?

I like Beyond Meat, it tastes good.

Woo! Why is hearing banned? Yeah, well, no comment.

Where everyone tuning in from?

Where's

he going?

Wow.

I like this level, it's good. Go under here.

He dead.

Hell,

Will,

while I'm dead.

He not dead.

I dead.

Oh,

what? Oh, stupid trees.

What? 96 damage?

He

dead.

He dead. He dead. The sprinting thing's so funny.

I'm number 7.

Yo,

not dead.

Ah, fucking respawn.

Real. I'm number 5. Well, we're getting destroyed. Look at our score. What's going on?

God, this is a waste of time. No way we're winning this.

It's like my grenades won't do any damage.

I'm number 4.

What? Well, what?

Oh, he dead.

What? Yeah, level 33. I can get that gun now, the DMR. Let me get it then.

Oh, I got him.

What? That was crazy.

Uh, DMR. I want— where's—

why can't I I am 33.

Probably doesn't lock in until you end the match.

He did. Well,

at least I'm not last. I'm number 3.

Maybe we can get some points.

Oh, this guy's so good.

Oh, he dead.

I dead.

I did.

Fucking guy killed me 6 times.

This is my last game.

You dead.

Okay, do some trading.

Uh.

Accounts at 779.

It's ripping. 780.

Market open in 4 minutes. Might go toilet.

Nah, hold in

trading.

Okay, I will. I'm going short here, 10 units,

stop loss above this.

Get the calculator out.

Take profit there.

I'm up 20p,

up 30p.

Market open soon, 3 minutes.

Ah, what? I lost 50p. They're minus 50 already.

It's ripping, it's ripping.

Go short. 10 units.

I put my stop loss, um, there.

I'm up 5p.

I want my 50p back.

Yeah, yeah, 50p.

Come on, tank, no!

Yeah, she texted me. She said she had a migraine. All was good.

Come on, tank!

I lost 50p already. Oh, I just lost 26p. I'm down 76p today. Shorts not working out.

Beyond Meat tanked. Bitmain tanked.

Okay, I'm going long. I can't really go along with much because I'm already fully long already.

Well,

market open now. Go short to 10 units. Oh, that's 15 units, but whatever.

My shorts are not £1.

Want my pound back.

Come on, tank!

No!

Oh, £1.23 profit.

Whoops, 0.76 plus 1 123. No, -0.76 plus 123. I'm up 47p today. I'm going short 10 units.

Put my stop loss there. I'm up 70p. Move stop loss in.

Move stop loss in. It's tanking.

73 profit. I'm up £1.02.

Go short.

I put my stop loss there. I put my take profit here.

What's that? That's a long. Oh, I lost 90p. Fucking hell,

I've only made 30p today now.

Oh, it's ripping.

Go short.

Stop loss there.

I made 78p. I'm up £1.08.

Got short 10 units.

What am I basing my decisions on?

I don't know. If it's going up, I go short. If it's going down, I go short.

I'm, I'm in short.

Stop loss. I'm up 50p.

No,

no, no, ripping.

Put my stop loss—

put my stop loss there.

No, lost 82p. No, it's ripping. 0.10 units,

go short here, stop loss there,

I take profit there.

Come on,

come on.

Ah, take profit 56p. I

made 82p so far.

10 units here.

When it goes up, I go short.

Come on, go up, up, up. Bit more, bit more.

Go short.

80p, 80p profit. I'm at £1.62 now.

10 units,

go short.

44p take profit.

Oh, £2 made already.

Made £2 so far.

Put 10 units there,

go short there. I'll put stop loss there.

Oh, I lost 45p.

It's a ripping.

I've got a short here.

Well, it's ripping.

It's ripping. Holy shit. Maybe don't go short. I'll go short up there, maybe

about 136 and 24p. Yeah, put a take profit there, maybe. Okay, what's that? I've got 2, 2 longs there and a long there.

I wish it made like a little cha-ching sound when I made money.

Come on, take profit.

31p. Might go short here, 10 units.

Go short there, put a stop loss there. Ah, I lost it. -23.

Tough day.

10 units there. Uh, stop loss.

I'm up 40p.

Stop loss there.

13p. It's going down.

Give me my 65p

stop loss there.

VIX is dropping. Yeah, maybe I give up on the shorts.

Ah, lost 77p. Fuck, I only made a pound today.

Okay, go long, switch it up.

Longs are in. We ripping,

we ripping,

we're ripping.

Ripping. Account size going to hit 800.

Ripping.

Started using this about 5 years ago.

Might go short here.

Oh shit,

I'm going short 10 units. Stop loss there,

uh, TP there.

Oh God.

Oh Jesus.

Tanking. Ripping.

Ripping, ripping. Oh, I lost 95p. I lost all my gains now. I made 10p today.

Okay, take out this

take profit.

Yeah, well, there's 50% chance it goes up or down anyway, so what's the fucking point trying to read the chart? Chart can read my ballsack. It's tanking.

Stop loss there.

Ah, fuck. I lost 43p. Oh,

I'm down 40. Oh, we're ripping!

Stop going short, maybe.

Go short again.

Put my stop loss there.

Fuck, I've lost 72p so far.

Oh God, now it's tanked. No, don't tank. I'm in short. Tanking.

34p profit. Oh, now it's tanking.

Quick, go short. I'm short.

Guys, this is high-frequency trading. This is how all of the traders do it.

Tanking.

Ripping, ripping,

tanking,

tanking.

Rip him.

No.

No, no! 74p profit taken.

Ripping.

I'm down £2 on that short.

Oh,

oh,

I'm down £2.30.

I made 34p.

I'm up 70p. Whoa, ripping! Holy fuck, I'm down £4 on the short.

I'm at £801 account balance.

Go short here.

Stop loss £1.

Oh God, shorts not doing well today.

What's Beyond Meat doing?

Gold, gold's ripping.

Okay, I'm going all in long then if this momentum's up. All in long.

Where's the short?

Tanken.

Tankin', tankin',

tankin'. No, no,

come on, take my profit. No. Yeah, yeah, yes! 55p.

We use it. Oh, tankin'.

Go along. I can't go long anymore, I've run out of money.

I've got no more money, I'm all in already.

This long's up £3.

Yeah, I just broke 800. Nice.

I spent 5 years on this account and it's down £2,000.

Whatever, put take profit up there.

This short's gotten wrecked, £5 down.

Beyond Meat doing nothing. I think that's on me, it's dead. These short things are dead, probably, which means it's not. So go all in.

I've given up on day trading, so I just do this.

Can't be fucking bothered anymore.

Is it

ripping? Well, this short down £5, this short's down £9.80, this short's down £30,

this long's up £5.

I've got 12 positions open. Open.

I'm at £806. We ripping.

I got so many trades that I can't see anything. Look how many trades I got. I've had so many trades open.

I'm up £1 on this long.

The trick is to have more longs open than shorts. Then you can't lose, really.

Damn, we ripping all day. Look at that.

Running out of momentum.

Not— these are my take profits,

£6 and £5.

Bear. Oh, I don't have any crisps left.

Definitely gonna get some Haribo.

No, I don't care about Counter-Strike.

Boring, ugly, boring game.

I hate ugly games. I only like good-looking games.

Ripping.

Uh, go short, go short here. 10 units. Stop loss there.

Take profit there.

Come on, I don't trust this short.

Come on, tank, tank. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, yeah, no. Yeah, no, no. Ah, lost 76p. Fucking bitch.

Better not tank now.

Okay, stop loss there,

take profit here.

No.

Yes, yes, yes, no, yes,

yes, yes!

You're up £10. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 70p.

Ah, 40p profit is a profit. I'll go long here— I mean short here.

Stop loss there.

Move stop loss down.

Oh, I lost 9p. Yeah, maybe I stopped shorting.

I think I stopped shorting. This short's down £9 now.

I'll go long.

Come on, rip! If you're not gonna short,

then imagine this goes whoosh, takes out all my take profits. That would be £11.40.

Go short here.

Stop loss that.

Oh God, oh God, wow, wow. No, I lost 50p.

I'm up 26p today. God, ripping.

Total P&L of today, 26p profit.

Damn, look at that.

Fine, I'll stop shorting. I'm down £10 on my short.

Go short.

Stop loss there.

Take profit there. Yeah, tanking,

tanking. Thank you, thank you.

Come on, 1 pound 48.

1 pound 40.

1 pound 40.

No. Yeah,

put a stop loss there. 72 pence profit.

Go short,

take profit there.

Come on.

Come on.

No,

no.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tanken,

tanken, tanken,

tanken.

Put a stop loss there. Oh God.

Oh no. Oh, I lost a pound. I've lost how much? I lost 6p today.

Short's not working out.

Okay, rip it then.

Short's just not shorting.

It's gotta break this line.

Yeah, like that.

Was he gonna break?

Yes, cut short. It broke.

I don't bother that.

I put my double there.

I put my double there. I'm gonna lose another pound.

No, no. Oh,

I've lost £1. Go short.

Take profit there.

I put my stop loss there.

Come on.

Yeah, remove stop loss. No,

no, 45 pence lost. Fucking hell, I've lost £1.60 today.

Damn it.

Okay, I'm gonna put a massive short here, all in, £5,000. Stop loss there,

nice and high.

Take profit there,

£2.17. Come on! Yeah,

yeah,

where's my stop loss?

Well, not looking good.

Oh God.

Oh Jesus.

Oh God, I'm down £3.78.

Come on, tank,

tank, tank.

Yeah,

why won't it tank?

Yeah,

no.

Yeah,

well, well,

I'm up £2. Oh yeah.

Oh, I lost it all.

Oh, tank,

move! Stop bus!

Yeah, tank.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

£2 profit.