Alone again

My tripod broke. I think I've been sticking it up my butthole too much.

Doesn't smell like shit.

I've really fucked up this tripod.

Look, it keeps breaking.

I cut my hair. It's a bit shorter.

I'm so bored.

I hate it when Christmas is over. It's so depressing.

Why does it feel depressing when Christmas is over? It's not like Christmas was exciting or fun.

I cut my hair too short. I kind of regret it. I always do this. It gets really long and then I cut it too much,

and then it looks weird because it's too short, and then it takes ages to grow again. It will take a few weeks, I guess.

I'm bored.

My girlfriend went to meet her friend. She said she'll be back late.

I was trying to make a video for today. I just couldn't make one.

I made a video titled 2017 Review, and I was just talking about, about the main things that happened this year. And I made about 7 minutes of it, and then my battery died. And this strange thing happens when my battery dies on my video editor on my phone. If the battery dies, then you lose all of your

work. It's really stupid. I pressed save project, and I thought if the battery died, I could just restart the phone, put in a new battery, and then I could continue working on the video, but everything was gone.

And I had about half an hour worth of clips to edit again from the beginning, and I just— oh, I couldn't be bothered. I just deleted the whole lot. I don't think it was a very interesting video anyway.

You guys know what happened this year anyway, so I guess there's not really much of a point in making that kind of video.

I don't really know what to make a video about now.

I started making a different video today titled Why I Hate J-Vloggers, and I think it's pretty good, but it's only about 2 minutes long. There's just— there's There's not many reasons why I hate J-vloggers. I can't make a 10-minute video talking about why I hate J-vloggers. There's just not much to talk about.

I just don't feel very inspired right now for making videos.

I enjoyed making that Anime Man video and the Christmas vlog and the Ben Dean ones. Those were fun. But now I'm not sure what to make.

Even if my girlfriend— even if I wasn't worried about my girlfriend finding my channel, what kind of videos would I make? Um,

I don't really feel like making videos talking about cheating anymore because people just hate me.

I do have one cheating story. I hooked up with a girl a few weeks ago,

a week before Christmas, and we had sex, but I haven't made a video about it because I can't.

I'm just— I don't know, I feel like I'm burnt out a bit on YouTube.

Nothing's happened, really. There's not really much to make videos about. That's why I've been making videos about different things, like other YouTubers.

I don't like the way my hair looks. If I don't like the way I look, I don't feel motivated to make a video because I'm really vain like that.

So this is my bed. This is where I have sex every night.

We didn't have sex last night.

The appeal was having sex with someone who wasn't my girlfriend. It doesn't really matter if she was more attractive. She was younger. She was 27.

But she was pretty fat, chubby. I can get young Japanese girls if they're fat. I can't get young skinny Japanese girls. I can get either young fat girls or skinny old girls. Why can't I get a young skinny girl? I've never had a young skinny girl.

We watched this really boring movie last night called Benjamin Button, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. It was so boring.

It was about 3 hours of rubbish. Oh, it was like mental torture. I was just watching the clock tick by waiting for it to end. I fell asleep for about 10 minutes. After 2 hours, I don't think she noticed.

It was such a bad movie. It's so boring and so slow-paced. This must be what she felt like when I made her watch Star Wars and Dunkirk and Interstellar.

I've kind of, um, I feel like I make videos, my best videos, when I'm in a trolling mood. I'm in 2 moods when I make videos. There's the trolling mood when I make really dumb videos like the Bendene stuff or the Christmas vlog, and then there's my other mood when I'm really depressed and I make videos like

talking about things like depression or Failing, feeling lonely.

It's like 2 extremes. I'm never in the middle. It's very rare for me to be in the middle. I'm either really depressed or really happy and in a trolly mood.

I think I'm done with the Ben Deen videos. I've already done 3 Ben Deen videos. I need to find someone else to start talking shit about.

The Anime Man was kind of out of the blue because I've always felt kind of strange when the Anime Man complained about YouTube money. It's always like bugged me at the back of my mind, and then I decided to make a video about it. Right now there's no YouTubers that are really on my nerves right now.

I'm making one where I just

talk shit about J-vloggers, but I don't talk shit about any particular J-vlogger in particular. I talk about them in general.

They're all pretty much the same anyway. They all look the same. They all do the same things.

I guess I'm a bit annoyed because I make videos that are very similar to the videos that J-vloggers make, and my videos, my versions of those videos, don't get any extra views. They don't go viral. I've done Japanese apartment tours, I've done how to learn Japanese videos, I've done videos talking about Japan. They don't get hundreds of

thousands of views.

It's just been very boring. I spent most of yesterday translating some hentai comic.

And I don't know, it feels like such a blur this past few weeks. It's just gone by and nothing's happened. Nothing of interest has happened. It just feels like I'm floating along and life is just whizzing past me.

Nothing really interesting has happened with my love life or relationships. There must be something.

I just feel a bit unsatisfied about something. I'm not sure what it is. I'm not quite sure.

At least I have food. I don't need to go out to buy food. I have ramen and I have

pork and I have some onions. Or are they spring onions? Yeah, so I have food. I do feel a bit hungry actually. Got some Pineapple juice.

This pineapple juice is so good. It's delicious. We still have that wine, the bottle of wine from Christmas that nearly killed me.

Maybe she forgot about it.

I started doing most of the cooking for my girlfriend. I said that I prefer doing the cooking than doing the washing up, which is true. She said she would rather do the washing up than the cooking, so I said, okay, I'll do the cooking then. I quite like cooking though. I like thinking of— I like going to

the supermarket and then thinking about what to make.

Cooking's so easy. You just buy stuff and then cut it into small chunks and then put it in the frying pan.

Buy some meat, buy some vegetables, cut it into tiny pieces, cook Cook some rice, put some sauce for flavor.

I usually just cook stir-fries.

But I want to make her chili con carne next.

I feel like eating chili con carne. That's quite easy. You just buy some minced— is it beef? Buy some minced beef, buy some tomato sauce, chop some onions, get some kidney beans. I think that's all you need really. And then Cook some rice, get some of those tortilla chips. I'm not sure if she'll like it. Oh, I

need chili powder as well. I can make chili con carne, it's not too hard.

I guess I could tidy up the table.

Just been masturbating all day. I masturbated twice today. Just because I was so bored.

When I get bored, I just start— I start thinking about sex,

and my mind starts to wander, and I get really horny. And then I need to— I need to jerk one off, jerk one out, rub one out. Otherwise, I can't stop thinking about it.

I get a bit worried when I run out of things to make videos about.

90% of my videos are about my life and things that happen in my life. But when nothing happens in my life, what am I supposed to make videos about?

My first Japanese girlfriend, the online one that I never met, she had a baby. I'm still friends with her on Facebook, and I, I have her photos with her baby. I was thinking of making a video saying my ex-Japanese girlfriend had a baby and then just whinging about it for 10 minutes. I don't really think there's much

I can say. It's quite difficult to make a 10-minute video to talk about something for 10 minutes.

I don't like drawing anymore. I'm done with drawing. It takes up too much time. It takes too much effort. I don't have any good ideas. I have no ideas or creativity right now. I'm just drained creatively.

I can't meet up with the single Japanese mother anymore because I deleted my Line.

I was actually thinking of meeting up with the single Japanese mother just for a few weeks before I go back to England. See if she'll still have sex with me.

But I got— oh, I'm so stupid. I started sending dick pics and dick videos to all these girls I used to talk about— that I used to talk to online. And then one of them, or several of them, must have reported me for sexual harassment. And something strange happened on LINE. They didn't ban me, but they stopped

me from sending messages. I would send the message, but the person I sent it to, they wouldn't get it.

So I had no choice. I tried deleting the LINE account, and then I tried making a new account using my phone number, but it wouldn't let me use my old phone number. It said invalid phone number.

So I tried using some fake phone numbers, some virtual online phone numbers, and it didn't work. So I gave up. I'm still friends with her on Skype, and I sent her a message, but she didn't reply to me on Skype. I don't think she noticed.

I guess I could meet up with that fat Japanese girl that I had sex with last week. I still have her contact details on Tinder.

But I don't really care. I feel like having sex with her once was enough. I don't really feel like I want to have sex with her again. The sex was really good. It was really wild and dirty, and she sounded like one of those Japanese girls from a porno.

But I don't think I would risk it just to have sex with her again.

But there's no one else right now. I started talking to this Filipino girl on Tinder, but it's not really going anywhere. And she lives— she lives way too close to me. She lives 2 miles away. If you meet up with people on Tinder who live really close to you, then you might bump into them just randomly. That's

kind of awkward if I'm with my girlfriend.

Yeah, I don't have much inspiration right now for videos.

I'm just walking in a circle because there's nowhere else to walk.

I'm just talking.

It's so cold outside. It's, it's not too cold, but when it's windy, it's freezing. If it's not windy, then it's fine.

And I don't like this area. I really miss the neighborhood around the guest house. It was so nice, peaceful, big wide open roads, big park nearby. Here it's very claustrophobic. The roads are very small. There's no big main road. That's nearby, and there's no big park. There's a big river if you walk about 2 hours west.

It's too late to go anywhere anyway. It's 9 PM. I think my girlfriend would be back about 10 PM or 11 PM. She's gonna come home drunk again. She went to like a Christmas party a few days before Christmas She came home at midnight. I thought she wasn't gonna come home. She was completely drunk, but she was

really cute when she's drunk. She kept saying things like, I missed you, did you miss me? And then she started cuddling me. I quite like her when she's drunk.

And then her words will get slurred.

I didn't try fucking her when she was drunk. Maybe I'll try tonight. The thing is, I've already masturbated twice. I don't really feel very horny. That much right now.

Of course I'd be mad if my girlfriend cheated.

I would be mad, but I wouldn't break up with her. I would still carry on having sex with her.

I would just be disappointed because I want to be in a relationship with a girl who's in love with me. I want her to be obsessed with me.

That's the good thing about girls. Most girls will only have sex with a guy if she feels like she's in love with him.

I wouldn't be happy if I was in a relationship with a girl who just has sex with loads of guys all the time.

And I'm not sure why. I think I'd be scared of sexual diseases. If she's having loads of sex with different guys, then the chances of getting an STD would be pretty high.

Also, she might dump me and then

go with the new guy.

So maybe it's like a— an insecurity thing.

If she was having sex with other guys but I had 100% assurance that she wouldn't leave me and that she wouldn't get an STD, would I be upset with it? Yeah, I guess I still would be upset.

I don't want to share. I don't like sharing. I don't want other guys to have sex with my girlfriend.

It's not really sex that I'm worrying about, worrying about right now. I feel fine with my sex life. I'm not depressed because I'm not getting enough sex. I'm depressed right now because I feel bored

and I don't know what to make videos about, and I've lost my creative spark,

and I feel a bit worried about the channel.

Worried about the channel. I feel like my YouTube channel is more important than having sex right now. I've had a lot of sex since I came to Japan. I feel like I'm satisfied with all the sex I had. Right now I want to grow my YouTube channel. I want to get to 10K subs because when you get

to 10K subs you can get your demonetized videos reviewed without it having any views. So I can just keep the video set to private and then get it reviewed, get it set back to monetized before I set it to public, and then I don't lose money.

But recently monetization has been pretty good. I did have a bit of a problem with the Anime Man video. It kept getting instantly demonetized every time I uploaded it, and then it got set back to monetized after I set it to private and then set it back to public. It doesn't make any sense. It was at 800

views demonetized. I set it to public— to private, and then it instantly went green.

So I set it back to public, and then it got to about 4,000 views, and then it went back yellow again. Now it's demonetized again, and it's waiting for a review. It doesn't make any sense.

I don't really have much to talk about

sex anyway right now.

Even if I wasn't worried about my girlfriend finding my channel, I don't have any interesting sex stories. Apart from the one I just told you, which isn't that interesting.

I feel like one day I'm just gonna get bored of making videos entirely.

What am I gonna do then?

I need to think of different types of content I can do.

It was so much easier to make videos when I had lots of stories, like my ex-girlfriend stories, my past job experience stories. But I've already told all my stories from my past. Maybe I can just remake them,

just do, do new versions of my old videos. Years, but that's boring.

I guess I feel a bit lost in life right now. Not sure what to do, not sure what I want to do.

I don't want to go back to England.

It's so depressing when I have to go back to England. And then I'm just stuck in my parents' house again.

It's like nothing's changed. You go back to your house, your parents' house, and everything's the same. And it's like nothing's changed in your life apart from you look older

and your parents look older. And then you realize that they're not going to stay around forever. In 10 or 20 years, they're gonna be dead.

It is really nice to have a girlfriend though. I like it when she comes home and she opens the door and then she sits down next to me and we hug. And then we go to the supermarket, we buy food, and then we cook stuff, we watch TV, eat together. Then we just cuddle and kiss. It's really

nice.

It's so much better than being alone.

When I was at the guest house, I was just so depressed. I was so lonely the whole time. I was so bitter.

I felt like I had no one.

At least right now I feel like I have someone.

I'm not sure if I should make noodles. I don't feel that hungry.

I feel a tiny bit hungry, but not hugely.

I keep worrying about my hair.

The wide-angle lens makes your face look so ugly.

I was really scared when I came to Japan for the first time. 7— was it 8 years ago? I wet myself. I wet the bed. I was so out of place. I felt like I was in this alien world. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I didn't know anyone. And I was in this guest

house sleeping in this bed by myself, thousands of miles away from my family for the first time. And I wet the bed. I'm not even joking.

I had this really nice dream and it felt nice, and then I woke up and I could feel it was warm around my groin, and I put my hand down and it was all wet.

I

need video ideas.

I think the I Hate J-Vloggers video is a good idea. It's just that I don't have much to say about it. I need to find— come up with something else to add to it. It's only 2 minutes long so far. I think I could push it to 5 minutes maximum.

Even with the Anime Man video, I had troubles getting it to 10 minutes. I got it to 7 minutes, then I ran out of things to say, so the final few minutes was just me saying a load of random stuff

that didn't really make much sense.

People were saying that YouTuber Einstein is a pedo,

and he hasn't uploaded a video for 6 months. Did he go to jail?

There's all this proof that he was trying, or he was having sex with some 15-year-old girl.

Maybe he got sent to prison.

My hair looks so shit. People keep saying it looks better short. I don't get it. It doesn't look good short to me.

I like it when my hair's longer. But then it gets too long, then I cut it too much,

and then I start whinging about it and I keep fiddling with it.

It's weird when YouTubers just suddenly disappear. There was Hannah Minx. What happened to her? Did she get kidnapped? Maybe she's in someone's basement being raped every day.

And then there's Texan in Tokyo. The hell happened to them? Did they have kids? Why, why stop doing YouTube just because you have kids? They have a huge channel. They must have been making thousands of dollars from their videos. Well, they must still be making money from it since they still have videos set to public.

But why would you stop making videos when you have such a huge channel?

Just because you have kids doesn't mean you have to stop making videos. You can still make like an update video once a month when your kids are sleeping, or when—

she must have 10 minutes of free time in her day.

I would kill to have a channel that big. I would eat my own baby to be able to have a channel that big.

It doesn't make sense.

I remember you, Oxidic.

To be honest, I don't recognize most of you people who are chatting right now. When I used to livestream 4 or 5 weeks ago, there used to be a completely different set of people who, who watched. I don't recognize most of you guys. It's a bit— I guess it's good, but it's also bad in a way because

I lost all my old viewers. It'd be nice if the old viewers stuck around. They didn't leave me. They didn't abandon me. I feel like I got abandoned.

I recognize Stealth Monkey

and Blacky Cat. I remember Sayonator.

A lot of the old viewers have been complaining. They've been saying that they don't like the direction the channel's going, or they say that they preferred the old videos when I was this, this awkward, introverted nice guy. Now I'm just like an arrogant dick who talks about sex all the time.

Oh, I remember Chloe from, um, when I played Alien: Isolation. You in the chat and everyone was arguing with you.

I still have Discord.

The Discord link should be in the description.

Of this livestream.

I just got kind of burnt out with streaming. I was streaming every single day and I just got bored with it.

I guess I should start streaming outside again.

I got so lazy.

I feel so lazy to leave the apartment now.

I tried going outside a week ago and it was just horrible. It was windy and noisy.

I'm still with the girlfriend. This is her place.

Maybe it's because it's winter.

I don't really feel like going outside.

I joked about— I said, wouldn't it be funny if I made a video on my YouTube channel talking about the fungal infection? She said, don't you dare. She said something like that. She laughed. She said

she would be angry if I did, and then I just laughed awkwardly. I've made like 5 videos talking about the fungal infection.

Her infection's gone.

It's— it went away about a week ago. We both had it. She got some kind of medicine from the hospital, then she gave one to me. And we used antifungal creams

and we stopped having sex for a few days and then it all cleared up.

The infection was in her vagina.

She said it's because her immune system got weak, that's why It makes it easier to, to, um, to get infected.

We actually did use a condom. We used the condom when it was itchy because we thought it'd be a good idea, and the condom ripped. I used one of my extra thin condoms that I got from England and

I took, um, we were having sex missionary and then I took my penis out and then we were going to do doggy style and then we did doggy style for a bit and then I noticed it felt kind of different. So I pulled my penis out and then I noticed that the whole condom ripped.

So I chucked it. I just took it off, I chucked it on the floor, and we continued having sex.

I'll show you the condoms that I got. They're really bad. They were better condoms than the one I used with the half-American girl. Those ones were extra safe thick ones. That's why I didn't feel much. I'm not sure where I put it.

These ones.

Thin feel.

Love sex. 12 condoms. Not recommended. They split so easily. I don't understand why it split so easily. Was I doing it too roughly? Was she not wet enough?

She's on the pill, so we don't need condoms.

As long as she doesn't get the fungal infection, then we don't need condoms.

Should be fine.

Everything's okay now. A few weeks ago, it was burning slightly when I urinated. It was kind of itchy. The itchiness was coming from inside of my penis, not from the outside of the head. The first time it happened, it was itchy on the head, and I could put the cream on the head of the penis and then

it would get better. But if the itchiness is from inside of the penis, you can't really put the cream inside your penis.

But everything's okay now.

No penis problems to report.

We usually have sex once a day. When it's her day off, we have sex about 3 or 4 times. It's pretty funny.

We'd wake up at 6 AM, have sex, and fall asleep, and then wake up a few hours later, then have sex again, and then fall asleep again, and then have sex again.

And then we end up waking up at 1 PM, midday. Then we have lunch, and then we have a shower.

Then we go out to buy food, then we come back, then we eat, then we have sex again, then we fall asleep. It's just, it's just eating and sex and sleep.

I'm still staying here until March.

I don't know if I'm making her come though. She never says she's coming.

When I had sex with that fat Japanese girl last week, I made her cum so many times.

She kept shouting it, I'm cumming, I'm cumming! But in Japanese, she kept saying, iku, iku! And then when she came, you could tell because she would squeeze her vagina so tight my penis would get popped out. It would squeeze my penis out.

And then I had to wait for her to stop cumming until I could put it back in.

I don't understand. Maybe she was just really horny. She would cum so easily. She would cum like— she came at least 4 or 5 times.

Maybe I don't make my girlfriend cum because I never feel her vagina squeezing that much.

I don't really know how to make a girl cum. I just do what I want to do, and if she comes whilst I'm doing it, then that's great.

I don't like it when the girl comes because then I have to stop and it, it crushes my dick. I have to pull out because it feels kind of painful.

But this fat Japanese girl, she was really hot when she said stuff. She kept speaking during sex. Like, she would say,

she would say, damn it, damn it, damn it. For some reason, which means no, but in Japanese no means yes. It's the equivalent of a girl saying yes, yes, yes. And then she kept saying yurushite, which means forgive me, like, like she was being punished by me and she was saying forgive me, forgive me.

I rub her clit when we're doing doggy style. With my girlfriend. She actually asked me if I could buy her a vibrator online so that she can use it when we're doing doggy style. I don't know if she was joking or serious.

If she started using a vibrator during sex, I feel like it would ruin the mood.

If we're having sex and I could suddenly hear zzzzzz, it just— it would just be weird.

Every time I tried touching her butthole, she stops me. She says, stop touching it.

She doesn't like it when I touch her butthole. She doesn't like it when I try putting my finger in there.

I said, why don't you try? Maybe you'll like it.

I said, just let me put my little finger in, just a centimeter. She said no, she's really scared.

But with the fat Japanese girl from last week, I actually stuck my tongue in her butthole. I was so horny, I did all this crazy stuff.

She could touch her own clit, her own clitoris.

Why do I have to do it? It's hard for me to do it. It's hard to reach round when you're doing doggy style.

This fat Japanese chick is a different one.

It's not the same one as before. It's the third— no, it's Yes, the 3rd fat Japanese girl that I've had since I came here.

She wasn't as fat as the first 2, but she was still pretty large, pretty chunky.

She was really nice to kiss. She had nice kissable lips. She had thick lips. My girlfriend isn't that nice to kiss. Her lips are a bit thin.

I had to pay for the hotel. She didn't even pay half of it. I had to pay $110, was it? No, $130.

£86.

I don't like blowjobs. I never get girls to give me blowjobs unless they really want to do it.

I've never been told that I'm a good kisser, but I've made a few girls wet just by kissing.

I don't know if they were already wet before kissing. Maybe they were.

But usually with the fat Japanese girls, all you have to do is kiss them and And then they're already soaking wet.

Fat Japanese girls are so horny.

It's like they really want to have sex and they don't care who they have sex with. They don't seem to care that I'm really skinny. It looks ridiculous when I'm having sex with these fat Japanese girls. I'm super skinny. I'm— look at my legs. My legs look like chopsticks. Look at my wrists. I look like a twig.

And then I'm having sex with these giant Japanese girls who, who have legs that are 4 times thicker than mine.

My dick's not skinny. My dick looks pretty fat

because I'm skinny, so my dick looks fat in comparison.

I think that fat girls are hornier than skinny girls. When I see a skinny girl, I don't really— I can't really imagine them being horny or really desperate for sex. But when I see a fat girl, I think to myself, wow, she must be really desperate for it.

I think skinny girls have more self-control. That's why they're skinny. The reason why fat people are fat is because they have very little self-control and they just end up stuffing their faces.

If I had a choice, I'd rather have a slim Japanese girl than a fat one, but beggars can't be choosers. Fat Japanese girl is better than no Japanese girl.

I don't really care about boobs. Boobs don't interest me.

I like wide hips. Wide hips and big butts.

That's what I'm into.

I prefer any girls over English girls, I'm pretty sure.

Emma Watson's ugly.

I've never had an English girlfriend.

I think Emma Watson's really ugly. She has a huge forehead, she has a weird-looking mouth, she has really thin lips, she has a really pointy nose. She has all of the facial features that I hate.

I like round faces, I like button noses. I like small Asian eyes. I like thick lips. These are all the things that Emma Watson does not have.

Yeah, she looks like a guy with long hair,

and she's way too skinny.

I don't like really skinny girls.

They look like they would break. They look too fragile.

It's weird, people always say that Japanese people are slim. They always say that there's no fat people in Japan, that Japanese girls are so petite and slim. How come I always get all the fat Japanese girls?

How come I can never get a slim one?

I guess Tomoko was slim. I guess my girlfriend's slim. They're only slim if they're old.

Even the American, the half-American girl was fat. All bloody fat.

Sometimes I watch Tomoko's masturbating videos that she sent me. I still keep those. They're interesting to watch.

I also have a secret video of me having sex with my girlfriend.

When we were doing doggy style, I managed to sneak my phone out and start recording without her noticing.

So I have some nice video footage of us doing doggy style from 2, 2 angles, one from above and one from below.

She looks really hot on video. She has a nice backside. It's the first time I filmed myself. Actually, it's not. I filmed myself having sex with the married Japanese woman from 4 years ago, but I deleted it the next For some reason. I don't know why I deleted it. I'm so stupid.

I even had a video of the other Japanese girlfriend giving me a blowjob, but I deleted it as well because I was stupid.

Tomoko was tight. It was obvious she hadn't had sex for a long time. Japanese people don't have— they stop having sex after they get married. I think she said she hadn't had sex for years. She didn't even sleep with her husband.

Tomoko was alright, it's just that it felt really gross after we finished.

I don't know how she didn't notice. Maybe because she was— she had her face in the pillow. She had her eyes closed.

When we're doing doggy style, she's not looking behind her. She's, she's looking to the side, or she's looking down into the pillow.

So it's, it's not that difficult to secretly film it.

There's this other Japanese girl that I chat to. She watches the stream sometimes, and we share naked photos and masturbating photos— videos. I sent her the video of me having sex with my girlfriend.

Hopefully she won't share it with anyone. I trust her.

1 million subs. Currently I get about 500 new subs every month, so that's 6,000 subs in a year. How long would it take to get to a million? How many years would it take? Even if I had 100 years, 100 times 6,000 is 600,000. Even in 100 years, I wouldn't get a million subscribers at this rate. That's

depressing.

She liked the video. She said it was really sexy. She said she liked the sounds.

She says she wants to marry me, but she's only 20. She's this 20-year-old Japanese girl. She seems a bit mentally unstable, but she's nice and she's really cute

and she's obsessed with my dick.

Female six-packs, that's such a strange thing to hear. You never see lots of women in foreign countries looking for dick, do you? But it's a common sight to see foreign men in foreign countries trying to get a foreign girlfriend.

It's just not something a woman would do unless she's really desperate to have a Japanese boyfriend.

Could you imagine a group of 5 white women roaming the streets of Japan trying to pick up Japanese guys. This just would never happen.

It's not a challenge for women. Women can just have sex with anyone they want.

If a woman goes out and just asks a random guy if he wants to have sex,

he'll probably have sex with her. But if a man does that, he could ask 100 women, maybe not even one would say yes unless he's really good-looking.

I feel like girls, they only really want to have sex if they feel like they're in love with someone.

For a lot of women, they need to feel like they're in love with the guy to be able to have sex with

them.

The reason why I don't put videos on Pornhub is because I I know what's gonna happen. Someone's going to download it or screenshot it, and then they're going to send it to my dad or my mum because people have leaked my dad's email address. People know my mum's Facebook,

and I don't want my mum to see me having sex or see a picture of my penis.

That's the only thing that's stopping me. Otherwise, I would have so many sex videos on my Pornhub channel.

My Pornhub channel is just H.I.M.R., but there's nothing on it. There's one clip of people having sex on TV that I recorded.

If I managed to bag a hot 20, would I stop screwing around?

No. If I had the opportunity to have sex with someone, then I would take it every time. I would never turn down free sex, even if I was with with a really nice girlfriend.

The 20-year-old that I'm talking to now, she doesn't want to meet me. I can't convince her to meet me.

She says that when she's finished university and she's living by herself Then we might be able to meet. But that, that's in like 4 or 5 years.

I would have sex with literally anyone, even if they are ugly. As long as they're not revolting or hideous, then I wouldn't say no to sex.

It's lagging.

Burn victim. It's funny you say that. I've had sex with a burn victim. The married Japanese woman that I was having an affair with 4 years ago was a burn victim. She set herself on fire trying to kill herself. She had burn scars all over her legs and up her neck and on her arm. It was really

gross,

but after you turn the lights off, you kind of forget about it.

She was really fat as well. Fat, married, and had mental illness. What a great combination.

But she was loaded. She used to pay for all of the hotel bills, and we would go to a love hotel every 2 days. Not every day, but every 2 days. We would go to a love hotel. And she would tell her husband, she would say, I'm gonna be out with Daniel all night, so I'll be back

in the morning. She didn't tell him that we were going to a love hotel. She would say we're going to karaoke, or we're going for a meal, or we're going drinking.

But how dumb must her husband have been? Maybe her husband just didn't care. Either he was really dumb and didn't suspect that we were having sex.

She said that her husband thought I was gay, or that he thought that I was into really hot, sexy Korean girls or something. Maybe he just couldn't imagine me being interested in having sex with his wife because she was so fat.

Either he's dumb and he didn't realize, or maybe he thought that I wasn't interested— there was no way I'd be interested in his wife. Or maybe he just didn't care if we were having sex.

Japanese women are the least faithful when it comes to marriage. I've heard so many stories of Japanese women who are married Where they have boyfriends in different countries or they cheat. I used to talk to this Japanese woman who lives in Taiwan. She stopped talking to me now. And she's married, she has 2 kids that are in

their 20s, and she's 45 or something. She goes to this Chinese language school, and then she, she hangs out with all the other people, the Western people who also study there after class, and they go drinking, they go to hubs, and she just has sex with these random Western guys. She tells me about the time she had

sex with this French guy, and then there's this German guy. I mean, she used to have phone sex with me. This was before— around the time that I met Tomoko.

And then there's this other Japanese woman who

Who has this boyfriend in London, and she's also married and she has 2 kids who are nearly adults. She says she wants to divorce her husband and then have kids with this British guy, and the British guy's 28 and she's 41. Japanese women are nuts.

I met up with my cousin a few days ago. She was in Japan. She came to Osaka and she messaged me. She said, do you want to meet up? I said, okay. But we didn't have sex, unfortunately. We just walked around and then we had something to eat.

Japanese women get bored when they're over 40. They have a midlife crisis. Their kids are grown up. There's no more love in the marriage. They feel lonely and isolated. They want to have some fun with a young guy. It's pretty common.

My cousin's not hot. She's fat.

And she has a pretty average face, but I'm used to fat girls, so being fat doesn't stop me. Being fat doesn't stop me from wanting to have sex with someone, and being my cousin doesn't— definitely doesn't stop me from wanting to have sex with her. If she was like, hey Daniel, I have a few hours to kill

until I have to go back, do you want to go into a hotel, have some fun? I'd be like, yeah, why not? Sounds great.

I would 100% say yes. Why would I say no?

I think siblings are gross. I would never want to have sex with my sister. That's just weird.

I don't even see my sister as a girl. She's just a person.

It's just too weird.

Siblings. My girlfriend's pretty passive when it comes to sex. She just lies there. She lets me control it.

She doesn't jump on top of me and start doing what she wants to do. Sometimes she does get on top of me. But not for long.

My girlfriend's out with a friend drinking. I'm just waiting for her to come back. Hopefully she won't be too drunk. We haven't had sex for one day. We didn't have sex yesterday because of bloody Benjamin Button. The film was so boring. After we finished watching it, we just got into bed and fell asleep.

I started fingering my butthole whilst having sex with her when I'm doing doggy style so she doesn't notice. It feels really good.

It's like stimulating 2 parts at the same time.

If I suddenly end the stream, it's because my girlfriend's back. She might be back soon.

She fingered my butthole before. When she was on her period, we couldn't have sex, so I was masturbating and then she put her finger up my butthole whilst I masturbated. It felt amazing.

It feels a lot better when it's someone else's finger. If it's your own finger, it feels pretty good, but if it's someone else's finger, it feels completely different. It's like a whole new level.

Period blood is so gross. It smells horrible. She thought her period was finished, so we had sex,

and then when we changed to doggy style, I noticed there was blood all over my penis,

and I smelt it. It was horrible. It stunk so much.

I got so grossed out, we stopped having sex. I went into the shower to wash it off, and we went to sleep.

The biggest thing I put in my butthole was this tripod. I put one of these legs, not all of them, just one of the legs. The good thing with the tripod is you can, you can bend it so it's not just straight and it moves a bit. It has flexibility. See, you can, you can curve it like

this. It feels better when it's curved. If it was completely straight, it wouldn't feel as good.

And it has all these knobbly bits which feel more stimulating.

Yeah, I like this tripod. It is, it's a bit worrying because if you pull hard enough You can, you can break the leg in half. I thought I heard

someone.

Look, you see, if you put it, you can pull the leg apart,

but you have to put it pretty hard.

What do I think of rim jobs? Rim jobs are amazing. I've only had one girlfriend who voluntarily did them to me. The ex-Korean girlfriend gave me a rim job just once though.

It felt really good.

What if it gets stuck up my ass?

If, if the tripod leg got stuck up my ass, I should be able to shit it out if I pushed. I should be able to push it out like pushing out a shit.

If you, if you relax when you pull it out, then there's, there's hardly any resistance. You can just put it out. But if you tense and then try putting it, I'm pretty sure it will break in half and get stuck.

It feels weird being penetrated. It feels wrong, but because it feels wrong, it feels good.

I need to get a proper dildo and something that's not gonna break when it is halfway up my ass.

And the reason why I, I wouldn't become bisexual or gay is because I don't like the male body. Having something go up my butthole feels good, but I'm just not attracted to the male body at all.

If it was a cute girl with a dick, then that would be a completely different story.

I think the male body is kind of ugly.

It's so straight and boring.

And squarish.

I bet, I bet, I bet Ben Dean has a really tiny penis. I bet it's only 4 inches.

Stereotypical Asian dick size.

Squarish, squarish.

Ben Peen.

I'm done with Ben Dean. I made 3 videos on Ben Dean and he didn't even give me a comment or a mention or a shout out. He deleted my comment on his video, so he definitely noticed me.

I had 440 likes on my comment on his, on his latest video, and he deleted it.

I just said that's terrible. An unhappy face.

I don't think any other big YouTuber is going to take me seriously or even acknowledge that I exist.

I'm just burning all my bridges with all the YouTubers. If I ever did get big, there's no way any of them would associate themselves with me.

I need to make a good video about the J-vlogging community. I need some good stuff. I've made a decent intro that's 2 minutes, but I need, I need more meat for the content to make it up to 10 minutes.

I need some dirt.

You know that whole group of J-vloggers like Sharla in Japan, Mikaela, Taylor? Why do all their names end in A? Shala, Taylor, Michaela, Mimi. Oh, that broke the chain.

Combo breaker.

And they're all in Japan. Shala in Japan, Abroad in Japan, Regan in Japan.

I've been reading this website called Pretty Ugly Little Liars where they just gossip about YouTubers. I couldn't find anything good though. They were talking about Einstein being a pedo and Charlotte being bitchy to people. I searched my own name, Hiding in My Room, and people were talking about me. On the K— Korean vloggers section, there were a

few pages of people talking about Hiding in My Room. They said that Hiding in My Room deserves his own thread, but because he doesn't have enough subscribers, it's against the rules. Apparently on Pretty Ugly Little Liars, .com, you need to have a lot of subscribers before you get your own thread.

My lolcow thread is dead. No one posts on it anymore. The last time it was active was when I made the video called Going on a Date with My Boyfriend with the Canadian guy.

Even on Kiwi Farms, they got bored with me. I got 2 pages on my post on Kiwi Farms, and then they stopped posting. I can hear movement outside in the hallway. Not sure if it's my girlfriend.

I need some good drama.

The problem is

with normal YouTubers, They don't talk about this drama stuff. So the people on the internet from websites like Kiwi Farms, they enjoy exposing YouTubers. They enjoy hacking them and finding stuff out and exposing them. But the thing is, I expose myself. The videos I make make me look bad. I take out the fun. There's nothing to expose

me for because I do it myself. I smear myself, basically.

Normal YouTubers won't do that.

I used to be a pretty normal person in

2016. If you watch my videos in 2016, I was just a normal typical guy. I didn't talk about offensive things or sexual things.

My channel went nowhere. I had 400 subs for about 2 years,

so I don't know if being normal would have helped my channel more.

In 2016, most of my videos were complaining about the petrol station job, talking about cameras and buying new phones. And then I went to Korea, Japan, and Taiwan during the summer. I made vlogs then, but they were really boring vlogs. I didn't talk about sex because I wasn't having any sex. I didn't have sex with anyone apart

from my ex-Korean girlfriend last year. That's really depressing. I was in Japan for 3 months last year. I didn't have sex with anyone apart from my ex, who came to Japan just to see me for a week.

I went to Korea last year in May for one month. I had sex with my ex-Korean girlfriend. I stayed with her, and then I went to Japan for a few months like I usually do. I tried having sex with the Iranian girl. I tried having sex with this other Japanese woman, but they weren't interested, and I wasn't

using Tinder at the time, so I was completely reliant on the guest house else, and I couldn't get anyone to have sex with me, and I was so depressed. Then I went to Taiwan in September, and I stayed with this Taiwanese girl that I've known online for about 6 years, and I got friend-zoned so badly,

and I was really depressed.

Last year was just so disappointing.

I made all these weird videos last year when I was going crazy,

like strange skits where I do acting

With really depressing music. I feel like I'm going back to that kind of way of making videos where I do little skits and acting bits with dramatic music in the background.

Tinder's definitely been the most successful thing I've done when it comes to women.

I hooked up with 6 different Japanese women on Tinder alone in the space of just over 2 months.

Tinder's amazing. Sure, you're not going to get quality girls on Tinder. You're mostly going to get fat girls and middle-aged women, but they're girls. They have vaginas, you get to have sex.

It's better than nothing. It's better than sitting in a guest house all alone masturbating furiously. That's what I was doing last year, and it sucked.

It sucked so much.

Stop chart. Typing Chinese. I don't understand.

I think I'm gonna go

eat some chocolate cake, make some coffee.

I'll show you the cake if you really want to see.

It's not really a proper chocolate cake, it's a sponge cake that's covered in chocolate.

It's really nice.

Oh well, I'm gonna go.

Maybe next time I'll do a stream outside.

Depends on the weather. I need to plan it, plan somewhere to walk to.

See you guys. Bye-bye.