might go to LA - thoughts

Hello, where's my tripod?

Do do do do do

do do do do do.

Oh!

Guess who messaged me?

Someone.

Are you in a good mood state? Yeah, I'm in

pretty good mood.

Got a very nice invitation to

Los Angeles.

Very nice, um, business proposition opened

But I don't know if she's serious.

You can never be 100% certain with these

girls.

I try not to take anything girls say

seriously these days, or at least I try

and take it with a grain of salt,

because last time, remember, I got really

excited about the German girl. Remember

how that turned out?

But that's the thing, you know, you have

to risk it to get the gains, to get the

reward. You have to risk getting ghosted

or catfished. You have to risk wasting

your money and flying somewhere, and you

never know where it might lead.

Stupid bedsheet keeps coming off.

Okay, we need to prepare sandwiches.

Tomorrow I am imprisoned again, but this

time I've got warning.

Gotta make food preparations.

You have to think of it like this. So

you've got the main objective of going,

and then you gotta have some backup plans.

Uh, excuse me. So let's

say it didn't work out and I got ghosted,

then what? What would I do?

I guess I could visit some places there

and then just leave. Go to New York for a

week, film, film a bit, and then go to

another place. If Japan was open, I'd just

go straight to Japan.

Japan's closer to America than it

is to England, isn't it? You fly the other

way around, don't you? But I bet

if I go to Japan, a whole bunch of people

who used to watch me, they would come

back to the channel because they'd be

like, oh look, Daniel's in my country.

Did I say Japan? I meant America. I meant

if I went to America, I bet the algorithm

is going to recommend it to a load of

people who stopped watching. They'd be

like, oh look, Daniel's in America.

Could be a good way to get people

interested again. Japan's an 11-hour

flight from LA. Pretty much the same then,

it's 11 hours from England as well.

So this girl, she's not new,

but I've never talked about her before.

She sent me some pics a couple years ago,

but we haven't really talked much since

then. Until recently.

She said if I go to LA, if I

come to LA, then we could do stuff

together. So sounds enticing.

I do like her.

It's just a bit of a risk, isn't it?

I'm sure LA is safe, isn't it? Isn't it

very multicultural? I wouldn't go far from

the airport central area.

I bet there's a load of content I could

make.

Well, it's on my— it's on my list now, I

guess. Also, Portugal's on my list, but I

don't have anyone there. It's only on my

list because it's on the list of countries

we can travel to. So there's 12 countries

that UK people can travel to during summer

this year, and it's Portugal, Australia,

New Zealand, Spain,

maybe? Falkland Islands.

Imagine who would want to go to the

Falkland Islands. It's just like a rock in

the sea next to Argentina, a bunch of

penguins on it.

Oh, I can't wait until the world reopens.

I wonder who wants to meet. Be so

nice if some girls message me saying

they'd like to meet, make my divorce

worthwhile. 'Cause if I end up— if nothing

happens, then I basically just lost my

marriage and life in Japan for no good

reason. The whole point

of getting divorced was to do this stuff

that I was planning. This stupid virus

just came out of nowhere.

If I went to Portugal, I'd get like a nice

sea view hotel. By the beach.

Oh, thank you. Very kind.

OMG, please come to the US. That would be

freaking hilarious. It would be funny, I

guess. And then imagine if I get ghosted

and catfished. I wish Daniel would come to

the East Coast. I don't know. I'm

seriously considering. Maybe one day.

Because listen, listen,

it's win-win, isn't it? So on,

on the plus pro side, you know,

everything goes well, she doesn't ghost

me, and then we make a load of cool

content together. Or number 2, she ghosts

me and catfishes me, and I do like an epic

I got catfished rant sad boy stream like

I did in Germany. And then if I'm in LA,

there's bound to be someone else who

messages me to meet up.

Isn't it win-win? I mean, I went to

Germany and I got ghosted, catfished, but

then I ended up hooking up with the

Turkish girl, so it wasn't like a massive

loss. And I got a bunch of funny content

out of it, although I did lose a couple

thousand subs. But this time I wouldn't do

not up to my standards. Kind of video. I

have to respect whamen.

I can't wait for the world to get back to

normal. It's so irritating.

It's so frustrating because before

2017, I never had money. You know, it took

me ages to save up money to travel, and I

always went to Japan. I never really had

any good reason to go to anywhere else

apart from Japan. And then after my

channel blew up, ended up getting married,

which meant I couldn't really do anything

I wanted to. Had to stay in Japan, I had

to stay married, and then had all this

money coming in because my channel was

blowing up,

but I couldn't really use it in

the way that I would have wanted to. And

then I finally leave the marriage

thinking, oh yeah, now I can do what I

want to do and travel and meet girls. And

then the whole world shuts down with this

stupid virus, and then my channel dies.

And now I'm not really making as much as I

used to, which has now knocked my

confidence a lot with, can I really afford

to be doing this now? I mean, my channel

is really not doing well. It's a gamble.

Basically, I'm gambling on the idea of if

I start traveling again, people are going

to come back to the channel.

But every— all the timing is just all

messed up.

If— yeah, it is like an investment, I

guess. I have to put the money up front to

make this stuff happen, to go to the

place, to film the content, hoping the

viewers will come back and watch it and

give me ad rev. It's like a bloody

investment, isn't it? You put the money

into Bitcoin or stocks hoping it will come

back to you if the stock goes up, but

there's no guarantee.

I just wonder if I go back to making my

old kind of world traveler videos,

would the people who got bored and stopped

watching, would they come back?

That's the risk. If they don't come back,

then I'm a bit effed unless I can get a

new audience. I'm sure a lot of people

would come back once I start doing stuff

and meeting people again.

Gotta risk it for the biscuit.

Oh, thank you. Oh yeah.

Wow. If you did go to LA, would you just

stay in LA or would you go to other parts

of the West?

Coast. I live in the south and have never

been to the West Coast. The West Coast.

I'm not sure. It would be really cool to

see one of my favorite YTERS there before

I go myself. I'm sure

if things go well with the girl, we would

travel around. I don't know if she can

drive. I'm sure we would travel around

to make vlogs, and then even if she ghosts

me and I end up by myself, I'd probably

still travel around anyway.

She said,

um, what did she say?

I said, if we could meet and make stuff

together, I'd definitely go. She said,

yeah, I'd love to. Let's make it happen

this summer. Let's start planning.

And then I said, what area do you live in?

She said LA.

Hmm, does sound tempting,

but I'm supposed to be going to London,

and then if things go well with this

London girl— obvious

troll. Yeah, that's kind of what I'm

thinking, but she is real. I know she's

real because we talked before and she sent

I don't think she would troll me,

but it is a possibility.

Is she white? No, she is of Asian descent.

I'm not gonna live in LA. It's not like

I'm gonna get a place and live in downtown

where all the hooligans live. I'd just be

going there as a tourist unless

I fall in love and we become like a

couple. But then what? I'm not going to

get married, get a green card.

Am I sure I can enter? I don't know.

Don't know anything really. I'm sure

eventually I would be able to.

Vaccinations for my age group should be

coming soonish, in a couple months' time.

They're doing the 40s now, age 40s

getting the vaccine.

I'd probably just stick to the touristy

areas. I wouldn't go to the dangerous

Oh, thank you.

345. Why LA? Does the girl

live in California?

If you went to the South or the Midwest,

it would cost barely anything. If the girl

ghosts, she lives in like

the Asian— you get out of California

immediately and go to the South since it

has nice weather and She lives in Asia

Town in LA. Costs nothing. Midwest kind

of sucks.

Prepare my fridge.

Cool. Wow, my arm looks really long

and weird.

Yeah, I wouldn't go in.

So I need to find out when my

age group can get the vaccine.

That tiny desk fridge setup looks so sad.

What do you mean?

I think it's cute.

Look, I got my thermal paste. Just in

case.

Texas voice speech is stupid.

No, it's not. I like it. How much money

to change the TTS voice to something that

isn't stupid? Why is it stupid?

Let me see if I can change it then. I

don't know if it's because of the voice or

because of the software that it's slow.

Let's see what voices they have.

How about Hindi?

Okay, I've changed it to

Hindi.

It's lagging. Are you sure?

Okay, I've changed it to Hindi. It's not

How come you never gave Chihiro an

engagement ring or wedding ring? LOL.

LOL. How's that?

I never got her a wedding ring because,

um, we both agreed that Rings are stupid.

She had a wedding ring from her first

marriage, but she never wore it.

Um, we both— yeah,

wedding rings are kind of dumb.

Are Hindus fast talkers? Let's see.

No two three shunya char char no two three

shunya char three no two char Why is she

saying the numbers like that? No two three

shunya char no four two shunya three no

four shunya two three char no two three

four shunya two three char no three two

shunya चार

दो तीन नौ दो शून्य तीन। So that's how

you count in Hindi.

Yeah, I think the software is just making

the voice kind of delayed. It's not like

that when I stream on my desktop.

What other languages they've got?

Italian, Japanese, Korean.

How about Japanese?

Oh, thank you, Ugu.

Let's see

what Japanese sounds like.

Ah, Hindi fast talkers.

Why did they say

the numbers in the language?

Sounds a bit robotic. Drop my tripod.

Okay, I'll make my sandwich in a minute.

I need to fix my hair.

I've still got massive pimple.

Look, you can even see it even with the

low-res stream.

Going to LA.

I wonder how much plane tickets to LA

cost. Let me check.

Flights, Heathrow,

LA.

Select dates. Let's say July 20th.

Just pick that.

And then if it goes wrong and I get

ghosted, I can just go straight to Japan.

Japan's probably still going to be closed.

Oh wow, plane tickets are so cheap now.

€470, Aer Lingus,

Heathrow to Dublin and then Dublin to LA.

No, stop doing the numbers, it's too much

spam.

You should change it to Portuguese.

Okay, skip that.

Try this one.

You should change it to an American accent

because you're going to America. Maybe

that sounds so weird.

Have to get used to how we talk after

all.

Here are some numbers to test with: 93402,

9342,

4328,

49545,

68903. I like

Hindi. I think Hindi is the best.

It's not too robotic sounding.

Okay, go downstairs, make my sandwich.

I've got a day of isolation tomorrow.

I hate going downstairs because I, I

usually lose connection when I'm at the

staircase, so prepare for possible

disconnect.

Very scary,

very scary.

Okay, we in my dark house.

Mimo, I can't see her.

She's sleeping.

Wow, she's deep, deep sleeping.

Press 1 if you can hear me.

Yeah, it's working. It's working.

Uh, people don't understand why I don't

want to come down when there's strangers.

Because when there's strangers in your

house, you can't just act like you usually

act because it's weird. You've got to put

on this kind of act when a stranger's in

your house. It's different.

You can't just act as if no one's here

because then it's kind of weird. And one

time I walked past him and he didn't say

hello, and I felt so weird, and I

automatically said hello to him, which is

weird for me because I never usually say

hello first. But I felt, I felt so

uncomfortable with the idea of walking

past him without saying anything. I was

the one who said hello to him. It was just

so awkward, and I felt like my whole face

was burning up. The awkwardness and

the adrenaline I get from the awkwardness—

I hate the adrenaline. I don't know how

people like adrenaline, but I feel like an

adrenaline rush is happening. My chest

feels all tingly.

It's like I just want to smash something

because I've got all this pumped up energy

from the encounter. I hate it. I just want

to come downstairs and make a sandwich

without any kind of stimulating

encounters. And there's so many things can

go wrong when there's a stranger here.

Like, they might say hello and you say

hello back and your voice is like, hello,

hello. Imagine how embarrassing that would

be if your voice just cracked. And then

they might not say hello, and then you've

got to say hello to them, or you could

just say nothing, and then it's just weird

because you're pretending— you're just

ignoring each other. That's just a bit

sad. And then if they say hello,

they might say something else like, how

are things, Daniel? And then I have to

say, yeah, it's okay, when really

everything's shit.

But thanks for pretending you care.

There's just so many complications and

stress that I'd just rather just stay in

my bedroom, to be honest, and not risk it.

You know, I'd risk flying all the way to

LA to meet a girl who I think is cute.

I'd risk wasting my money and getting

ghosted and humiliated, but it's because

she's cute and she's a girl that I don't

really care about risking embarrassment

just for some stranger standing in my

kitchen who I don't care about.

I feel like I could write a whole book on

this and people still wouldn't understand.

They'd just be like, oh, I don't

understand why Daniel hides in his

bedroom. It's just a person. They're not

gonna kill you. They're not gonna bite

your face.

It's just not worth it. The risk of

embarrassment is too high and there's zero

reward. What is the reward? They're not

going to give me money. They're not going

to shag me. And I don't want to shag them

because they're guys. I'm not interested

in talking to them, really. There's zero

benefit for me for interacting

with them apart from I get to make my

coffee, I guess. I actually just make it

in my bedroom. There's no reward.

I don't mind risk when there's a reward,

but when there's zero reward, then why

would I risk it?

Am I really going to LA? Uh, depends how

confident I feel about this girl,

and depends if the other girl I'm meeting

Depends if it goes well or not.

You never know, maybe the English girl

goes really well and I get an English

girlfriend, or maybe it doesn't go well

and then I go to LA. If it doesn't go

well, then what else am I going to do?

Might as well go to LA if I've got some

kind of proposition over there, because

I've got nothing else anywhere else and I

can't go to Japan, so why not?

Not everything's about rewards. For me,

it is. I— all my actions are based off of

how does it benefit me. If it doesn't

benefit me, then why should I bother? I

might as well just stay in my room. I'm

not a charitable person,

apart from that one time I gave $15

to TotalBiscuit's wife. After he

died, because I felt, I felt like I wanted

to help in some way.

And then there was that time I gave €40 to

those beggars in Berlin, and then I gave

€20 to that guy who beat me up in

Rotterdam. So I do have some moments of

generosity. I just try

to avoid them.

I live next to the winery this wine is

from. I think my sister drinks it.

Yellowtail Merlot. Why is it just out

here? Shouldn't it be in the fridge? So

you're like a sociopath? Why is it

sociopathic to just be calculative?

I've got a limited amount of resources and

certain things stress me out. It's just

called being calculative with your

resources and managing your stress

I don't want to put effort into doing

things I don't want to do or I don't see

any reward in doing. I want to put effort

into things that I enjoy doing and I,

I think are rewarding in some way. It

could be a monetary reward, could be

sexual, could be— I don't know.

But some, not everything, has an

interesting reward that I want.

Maybe I'll have some wine.

Do do do do do.

Da

He hasn't ever broke the law. I have broke

the law a few times. I'm breaking it now.

I'm breaking at least 2 laws at

this very moment.

It's a secret.

Would you like a drink of wine? What is

a Merlot? Made in Australia.

So the person who said they live next to

the winery, are you Australian?

Australian?

Australia is one of the countries we can

go to, and actually there was a girl in

Australia who invited me. Could also go

and visit my uncle.

Hmm, not bad. It's like a bitter

Ribena.

No, Australia is on the green list that UK

people can visit when you

get vaccinated. It's a vaccinated green

list of countries that don't require

2-week quarantine.

But really, us British people, we should

be able to enter and exit Australia

whenever we want to.

We made the country. It was just like a

prison place we sent criminals to, and now

they're telling us what to do. The irony.

Okay, make my sandwich.

Oh, got some

cheese.

I wouldn't mind some cheese crackers,

but we don't have any Crackers.

Who saw that new Resident Evil 8 game? It

looks so bad. Doesn't even look anything

like a Resident Evil game. These new

Resident Evils are stupid.

There's nothing about it that reminds you

of the originals, and they've just gotten

really weird now.

Yeah, why does it have werewolves and

vampires and a, a witch and then this

massive guy with a weird beard who rides a

horse? It's just so stupid now. None of it

makes any sense.

At least the originals kind of made sense.

There was a virus that they were making

and then it escaped

and infected the city. It kind of made

scientific sense.

Now it's just really stupid. It's like

Metal Gear Solid, isn't it? I think this

is a problem Japanese game developers

have. They start off with a good idea like

Metal Gear Solid and it's cool, and then

they get carried away, and then as the

series goes on, you're on like Metal Gear

Solid 7, and then it's just really dumb.

You've got whales shooting laser beams

flying in the sky. It just starts getting

more and more stupid. That every

time these Japanese game developers start

going crazy,

they don't know how to end things. They

just keep dragging it out and making it

more crazy.

Yeah, like the animes. Anime is same as

well. It starts off with a good concept

And then it just starts getting really

This is how I make a sandwich.

Who says he gets stood up? Do you think

I'll get stood up again?

There's no way she would get me to fly all

the way to America and then stand me up.

You'd have to be a really cold person to

do that. And she's been watching me for

like 2 years, so she must know what I'm

like.

Look at this rye cracker

with cheese.

Evan Fong. Evan Fong's a stupid idiot.

Stupid idiot ignored my message on

Instagram, didn't even read it.

Hmm,

don't think Rye Cracker goes well with

this cheese. You really need a Jacob's

Evan Fong's that Asian girl living in

Japan. She used to stream on Twitch when I

streamed on Twitch. 2018,

people were trying to get us to meet up,

and we used to DM, and we nearly met up.

I was talking about giving her my Blue

Yeti mic. But we never met up.

She doesn't even stream anymore.

She's an artist.

She does digital art.

Does she still live in Japan?

I doubt it.

Evan is from California. I thought you

were meeting in LA. No, I'm not meeting

Evan. She ghosted me. She didn't even

reply to me. And I'm going

to LA, not California.

Does Casey have a permanent visa? I don't

know. How does he get to stay in Japan so

long? I think he has a work visa. He works

in like a factory or something, or I don't

know. LA is in California,

is it? Are you sure? I thought LA is

like a state, you know,

like Texas, and then

California is like a city on the beach.

I thought LA is the state. I don't know

about bloody America. Yeah, well, do you

know where Maidstone is? I doubt it. Do

you know the name of the county I live in?

Cheese on crackers.

Look at that.

This is the best cheese. I don't know what

kind of cheese. I think it's camembert.

It's got like the white rubbery skin on

it, which is really nice.

It's really creamy.

I'm not really a big fan of cheese, but

this cheese is so creamy. It's not like

cheddar, which is very cheesy.

Yeah,

I heard about the increasing attacks

on Asian people in America. It's a bit

But I'm only half Asian, so do you think

I'd get attacked as well?

It's so stupid people would attack Asian

people just because the virus came from

China when the people— the Asian

people in America probably were born in

America. And they didn't come from China.

And how's it even their fault anyway?

It's not like they caused it to happen.

People are so stupid.

But that's the scary thing. We live in a

world full of billions of stupid people.

Now, all the dangerous parts of the world,

they're dangerous because they're full of

stupid people. All of the high rates of

crime are in areas full of poor, stupid

people. There's a connection. Let's just

get rid of all the stupid people.

Need another war. It's too much cannon

fodder. Back in the day, you'd send them

to the trenches. I'm not stupid. I'm

educated and civilized.

I'm sophisticated and civilized. Do you

think I would beat up a stranger on the

street? It's just so stupid beating up a

random Asian person just because you think

they're connected to the virus somehow.

You don't have to finish school to not be

stupid. You can finish university and

still be a stupid idiot.

There's people smearing Elon Musk,

trying to bring him down, and they're

probably university educated, saying stuff

like, Elon Musk, he's wearing a bandana,

why doesn't he wear a mask? He's such

a bad influence. Just trying to attack

people. I bet they're university educated.

They're just bitter, sad people.

Civilized, sophisticated people wouldn't

attack people on the streets like an

animal,

but we live in a world full of idiots.

It's a sad reality.

The people outside on the streets,

they're just really dumb. They're like

NPCs in GTA.

I want

more cheese. Cheese on biscuit.

Do you

like my dance?

Is the mini fridge cold enough? I guess

so. It should be

What am I wearing? It's the same jumper I

always wear. Why don't

I stream on YouTube? I just think this

stream is a bit too boring for YouTube.

If I stream on YouTube, I want it to be

like a planned event

where I put a little bit more, a bit more

effort into it instead of just making a

sandwich.

Twitch is for casual stuff.

Needs to stream soon on YouTube. Let's get

the views back up. My last video did

really well. I can't believe how well the

new video did, just talking about cheating

and how much I regret it. And I was so

sarcastic in it, people didn't even

notice. I've realized that I can basically

say anything and people can't even tell if

I'm faking it or not. Who watched

my new video and thought I was actually

being serious? I've recently realized

that women are not objects, and I respect

women now, and it was wrong of me to

cheat, and I have a newfound

understanding of women.

No one even says in the comments that I'm

just BSing the whole thing. They're like,

oh, so proud of you, Daniel.

It's crazy. I can say anything and they

believe it. It has 14K

views after just a few days.

It's the best performing video I've had in

the whole year. The whole year.

It's got number 1 out of 10, and it even

has 2,000 more views than the previous

So I don't know if it's on track to be a

20K or a 30K view video, but at this rate

it should be heading towards 30K.

Depends, it might slow down a bit and

might get overtaken by the previous ones.

It's hard to say.

Yeah, I'm making my packed lunch. For my

job at the, um,

sandwich factory.

Now I can't believe how well the video

did, and it's so boring. It's just me

sitting there in my shirt and tie going on

and on about women and cheating. I don't

understand why my audience thinks That's

interesting compared to all the other

stuff I did, like the illustrated story,

the commentary style videos.

All I have to do is just sit in front of

the camera and talk about regrets and

how my life is a failure. So I'm

going to do more regret videos, like why I

regret starting OnlyFans, why I regret

starting a YouTube channel. Why I regret

not wearing a condom? I don't know.

There's many things I could talk about

regret.

Yeah, it's definitely a YouTube algorithm

thing because the line goes up and then

suddenly it jumps up like unnaturally. It

goes— usually my videos are like a hockey

stick, it's a curve, and then it's just

kind of flat flattens out. But this one,

it's a curve, it flattens out, and then

there's like a sudden jump, like a

2-headed hockey stick.

And I'm pretty sure no YouTuber has linked

to the video or shared it because I

would know from the comments. People would

say stuff like, who's here from so-and-so?

Who's here from the 4chan link? Who's here

from Reddit? There's nothing in the

comments that suggests that people found

the video from some external website or

different YouTuber, so it's the algorithm

pushing it out to my viewers.

I wonder why it thinks my

viewers want to see that kind of video.

Regret and cheating are the main keywords.

I guess ex-wife. It must be the ex-wife

tag. People are obsessed with anything

related to my marriage and ex-wife and

divorce. It's only 13K views.

That's a lot for me. My other

videos in the same time frame only got

like 6K, 7K views, so it has like double

the views of most of my recent new videos.

13K is, is not what I usually

get these days. Usually in the same time

frame, I'd get below 10K,

maybe 8K, 7K.

So yeah, I've got to think very, very

carefully about the next video.

Bloody algorithm, so annoying.

Do I make another video about my ex-wife?

Do I make another video about regret or

another video about cheating or just all

of them all together?

I didn't put any tags. I didn't even write

a description. I wrote a description, but

it's just like mumbo jumbo.

Am I the only one home? No, everyone's

sleeping. Gotta really think carefully

about which topics I choose. The

Abunpreach video was such a failure.

My sandwich is done.

I'm going to LA would get views. Maybe

it's a bit too early to announce to

everyone.

I don't know why my tweet has 150

retweets. Congrats on 130

retweets on your job tweet. It's growing

fast. Wonder where it will stop.

Who put a load of Russian bots on my

Twitter? You're ruining my Twitter.

Yeah, makeup video did really badly as

well. You see how

careful I have to be with topics?

My audience don't give a crap about makeup

or education or random

YouTubers like Abern Preach.

So what I've gathered is they care about

girls, my marriage, my ex-wife,

Cheating and me regretting stuff and how

big of a failure my life is. It's kind

of a narrow range of topics. How can I

keep going on and on about how crap my

life is? What else can I regret doing?

Why I regret— I don't

Why I regret starting OnlyFans. It's

destroyed any chance of me getting a job.

What else should I make? I need

some fruit.

Need some

crisps.

Why I regret not spending more time with

my father. Oh, so heartfelt.

So this is my lunch. I'm not sure what to

do for dinner. Ah, so annoying.

Depends if my mum makes dinner, then I can

quickly come down, grab it, and go back

up. If she doesn't make dinner,

then I have to make dinner when they're

not down here.

Or I just have a pot noodle and I snack on

oranges and stuff. What could I have for

dinner?

Or make another sandwich.

Oh,

people make

my life so difficult.

What am I gonna have for dinner?

Maybe I'll make a second sandwich.

I think I'll have the pot noodle for

dinner. It's just kind of depressing

having a pot noodle for dinner.

I read he streamed at his dad's funeral.

I only filmed like 1 minute at the

funeral. It was about 10 seconds

during the actual service and then about

40 seconds just outside of the building

where I said a few things, and then like 5

seconds at the buffet. And then all these

stupid people keep saying, Daniel filmed

the funeral, he livestreamed the funeral.

No, I didn't. I filmed like a minute max,

and only about 10 minutes was— I mean,

only about 10 seconds was during the

actual service. The rest of it was mostly

just me standing outside the building

filming my feet and then just saying, so

the service is over and we're gonna go

home now. That was it. I didn't film the

whole thing. Just stupid idiots

exaggerating it again to make me look bad.

I stayed at the wake for about half an

hour. I just had a sandwich,

and then I just snuck out and I went home.

Number one, there were too many people. I

didn't even know who they were. Number

two, no one was talking to me. I felt like

I was just invisible. Everyone was in a

good mood as well. It was just so

annoying.

That's why funerals are stupid. Everyone

comes, they're not actually sad. Yeah,

maybe they'll go, oh, so sad Robert died,

he was such a nice man. But really, they

don't really feel sad. They haven't even

seen him for like 20 years. It's not their

dad. Whereas I'm sitting there,

my dad just died, and I've got all these

people who are like smiling and chatting

and laughing, having a good time. It just

felt really annoying. Eating sandwiches.

And then what, I'm supposed to sit there

chit-chatting to all my bloody cousins I

haven't seen in 20 years? Get lost.

Should have went straight home without

even sitting down. I don't know why I even

sat down. I sat down next to

these people. I think they were friends of

my cousins. I don't even know who the hell

they were, and no one even talked to me.

Only my— one of my uncles came to me and

talked to me, said a few words.

To be honest, I felt a bit insulted,

you know. I felt like it was a bit

insulting seeing all these people.

If I died, I don't want a party after I

died. I don't want a load of strangers

coming to my funeral and then eating a

sandwich and crisps and laughing and

chatting. You can all fuck off.

If I die, I don't want anyone there

because you didn't care about me when I

was alive, so I don't care if you care

about me after I die. Get stuffed.

I felt insulted because they're all having

a good time when it was the most traumatic

and upsetting day of my life,

experience of my life, and they don't

share the sadness because it's not their

dad. So obviously they're not going to be

that affected. Like, if my uncle died,

yeah, I'd be like, oh, that kind of sucks.

That's sad, but to be honest, I don't

really feel genuine. I'm not going to cry

about it, you know, it's just my uncle. I

don't even talk to them,

so I wouldn't go to anyone's funeral

because I feel like I don't belong there.

I don't even know who would come to my

funeral. Guess my mum and sister. Maybe

Chihiro would come. Do you think Chihiro

would come to my funeral? She'd fly all

the way from Japan. Maybe at that point

she wouldn't care anymore.

Yeah, I just didn't really like the whole

funeral atmosphere.

Oh no no no no no.

Isn't she dating an Irish dude? Yeah,

she's dating some random Irish dude

she met on Discord who watches my channel.

His name's McLovin and they're gonna get

married next year. Everything on Reddit is

true, isn't it? People, don't be so

stupid, please.

And I'm dating her sister and

we're gonna have kids.

This cake smells I'm

a bit worried about dinner.

Hopefully— I don't know if my mum's gonna

cook dinner. If she doesn't,

then I'm kind of screwed because I'm gonna

have to come downstairs,

won't I?

I could just have a pot noodle.

I've got 2 pot noodles upstairs and I've

got some Twix.

Yeah, should be fine. Let's just go back

Did you

see that skill?

Oh, we're safe.

Back in the safety of my room.

No one can hurt me in my room.

I am the king in my bedroom.

Do do do do do. Na na na na.

Oi oi oi oi oi oi oi.

San Miguel.

Now let's see if we can get this all in

the fridge. Oh,

nice and cool.

Sandwich goes here.

Easy peasy. Apple.

Yeah, plenty of room. Don't need to put a

banana in the fridge. Got loads

of room. Look, I could fit another

Could put the oranges in there too.

Why not?

Why not put the

oranges Not

sure if I want a beer. I had wine, don't

really want more alcohol. I made a bit of

a mistake buying this beer. It's too much.

I don't want a whole can. I want half

a can, or maybe 2/3, not this big

can.

Can you hear the fridge? See how noisy it

Am I watching any shows? No,

I watch Dragon's Den. So yeah, I am

watching a show. I watch all of the

Dragon's Den that's on YouTube.

Anything Dragon's Den related, I just

watch it. My favorite.

It's the

best TV show.

Oh, do you remember my oranges? Uh,

the orange peel has soaked up the tea. I

need to chuck that out.

Kind of stupid making this.

I think I'm just going to tip it out into

the garden. Maybe rabbits would eat it.

Is there a Discord? Yes, there is.

Made a new one.

Oh, tomorrow's gonna suck.

Hopefully he comes in the evening, so at

least I can get a few hours in the garden.

I really need to play football for about

half an hour at least to get my exercise

in.

Problem is, I don't know when he's coming,

and no one else does. I think he likes to

surprise her and just

come at a random time and

then sneak in or something because he

thinks it's funny. It's kind of annoying.

I want to know what time people are coming

because if he's— if I know he's coming at

6, then I could go outside for a bit in

the garden and not feel like I'm trapped

in my room all day. So I'll probably wake

up at 2 Maybe I should wake up at 1.

Oh, but then if my uncles are here doing

the building, then I won't be able to go

outside anyway. Oh my God, I can't do any

effing thing.

I forgot about the uncles because they

didn't come today. Last weekend they were

here building.

So my uncle's probably gonna be outside

all day, and then when they go,

sister's boyfriend's probably gonna

arrive. I'm effed.

I wish I could just knock myself out all

day tomorrow, not wake up.

I can't concentrate when there's people

around because

I keep thinking, oh, what if they're

watching me? What if they think I look

weird? What if they're What if

they think I'm stupid?

I just want to go outside and not have to

care about what people think.

And then if I walk past them, I'm gonna

have to say hello, and then they'd be

like, how are you,

Danny?

Concentrate on what? What do you mean?

All day long I'm thinking about what to

invest in, what to sell, what to buy,

what videos to make, what to do on

livestreams, what to talk about. What

country should I go to? Which girls are

trolling me? Which ones are genuine? What

video should I make for the second

channel? Should I stream on Twitch

tonight? Should I get this? Should I get

that? There's like nonstop amount of

things I have to think about.

And then when people are here, I just, I

can't think because half my brain is

consumed with, oh, what if they're

downstairs? What if I can't get food?

What if they come upstairs? What if

they're in the garden? When are they

leaving? When are they coming? Can't relax

and concentrate on anything because I'm

constantly worried about when or where

people are or when they're coming, when

they're leaving, what they're doing.

No, I didn't buy any bloody Dogecoin.

I got a load of Bitcoin mining stocks and

then stupid Bitcoin stuff dropped by like

You people don't get it. You don't get the

struggle.

And then to make matters even worse, I've

got a huge pimple next to my nose.

There's like 4 little pimples all in the

same place forming together to make a

massive pimple. I feel disgusting.

Got this massive thing on my face.

It's definitely not going to be gone

tomorrow.

I feel like I can feel it on

my face.

It's just really stressful.

If I felt good about how I looked, then

maybe I might consider

going down, but if I got a massive pimple,

there's no way I would even think about

it. I'm putting

the alcohol-based hand sanitizer on it.

I think it's working.

I think I should stay up late so I wake up

I think the alcohol works because it dries

out the,

the oily pus. It helps bring it to

the surface faster. Usually I sleep around

4 and I wake up at 2.

And then I make coffee straight

away, and then I'll sit playing Rainbow

Six until about 4. And then around

4, I will make lunch,

and then after lunch, I'll go outside and

kick my football around for a few hours

until about 6. And then at 6,

I'll come back in, make tea, and play more

Rainbow Six, and then around 8 I'll have

dinner. Usually 7 or 8 I have

dinner, and then I'll watch TV. I'll watch

the news until about 9,

and then around 9 I

come back upstairs and I play Rainbow Six

and I watch YouTube. Until about 2 o'clock

in the morning, and then get into bed

around 2, and then the last few hours I

sit in bed on my phone jerking off.

Oh, I found some really good porn

recently. So I

recently found out that I find nerdy,

slightly ugly-looking Asian girls wearing

glasses to be very hot.

Kind of weird. So I found this kind

of— she's not really ugly, but she looks a

bit goofy. She's got glasses and she's

slim and she's like really horny,

but she looks like a nerd and she has

videos getting banged. That's pretty hot.

That turns me on a lot.

So basically like a female version of me

getting banged is what turns me on

recently.

But they can't be too hot or too pretty,

otherwise it's not very realistic. I want

them to be a little bit ugly.

Da da da da da da da da da

da da da da.

Oh, I got a sub. I didn't notice.

Thank you.

How many subs do I have?

I've got 53

subs. That's nice.

Oh, okay, sleepy.

No, I need to resist sleeping.

Am I planning on adding more emojis?

I've got one more slot, I think, but I'm

not sure what to use. Oh yeah,

make some tea. That's a good idea. I think

I will. Problem is all my cups have tea

bags in them already.

Uh, dried up tea bag.

I'll wash it out.

Look at this, my tea drawer.

I put it under my computer case. My

computer is still over there. I still

haven't put it back together. I don't see

the point. It works fine. You don't have

to put it all back into the case,

just have its guts lying out.

Just leave it like that. Why not?

I still can't believe I got it to work. I

never fixed a computer by myself before.

I feel quite proud.

I fixed my computer.

This is,

um, organic Himalayan pure

natural high-grown tea.

Green tea from the Himalayas.

Oh, my lens is smudged.

Do I have a favorite flavor of tea? I

quite like barley tea.

I used to have that a lot in Korea.

Barley oat tea.

But I want to drink green tea. It says

green tea's got lots of antioxidants,

good for cancer.

Maybe that's why Japanese people live so