feeling sad today -( [hZuti6rKcYw]

Testing, testing,

testing.

Streaming now.

嗯，嗯，嗯，啊。 Close

Okay, so hello everyone, I am live

today for maybe

5 hours.

5 hours, I think.

Can we still buy content privately from

your OF? No, I can't do OF anymore.

I might go to jail if I do that.

Oh, my mic's got low battery. Let me

switch the mic,

switch out the mics.

Testing,

testing,

testing.

Why does it say both mics are on? Let me

turn the other one off.

There, fixed.

Okay, got a few things to talk about.

A few things really upset me. About a week

ago. No, it was last

week. No, this week. What day is it? It's

Saturday. It was like the beginning of

this week. Something upset me and kind of

made me feel down, but I feel

a bit more, you know, calm about it

now. Do I really hate

Starfield and think it's boring? I don't

hate it, but it's a bit boring, and I

wasted loads of money on it, which I'm

probably not gonna get back because my do

not buy videos are just not getting

massive views anymore, which I don't

understand. They always used to get like

100,000 views,

and now they only get like— well,

my Baldur's Gate 3 got 36K views,

but then after that everything else got

below 10K, and then everything I put on

the main channel just flops and gets like

2K views. I don't know what's happened to

my channel. It's really bad now.

Like, videos are getting only 2K views. I

don't understand how it's so bad now

because only a few months ago I was still

getting like 10K, 15K.

Like, a personal topic video would get

like 10K, and now everything is just

getting 3K.

I don't know how 7,000 people can

just suddenly vanish, and there's no—

there's like not even any comments from

all 7,000 or 8,000 of them. Not even one.

Not even like I'm bored of your channel,

Daniel. Sorry, but I'm leaving. This,

like, 8,000 people all just vanished

without even a word. It's like when the

Death Star blew up Alderaan.

You know, I'd understand if my views were

going down bit by bit, trickling down and

down, but it was like 10-15k views,

bloom, dropped down to like 3-4k.

And it happened within like a few days,

so I really don't know what's going on.

It's like my channel, maybe it is being

shadow banned. And my 2 do not

buy videos on the 2 biggest video games

out the last few weeks flopped. My own

subs not watching as much as they used to.

And maybe the channel is actually shadow

banned. Yeah, there must have

been some changes that YouTube has made

because it wasn't this bad only a month

ago. I was still getting like, I don't

know, sometimes 7-8K views and then 10-12K

views. Like my autism video got 10K views,

people suck video got 15K. I don't

understand what's happened. And now

nothing— everything I make, nothing gets

more than just a couple K.

So I have no idea what's going on.

This is the worst the channel's ever been

since like 2016, probably.

Uh, it's just like one miserable news

after another.

Who are these people subbing?

And my livestream viewers like 40 now.

I don't know what's happened to the

channel. It's just been screwed.

The algorithm has completely screwed my

I mean, this is, this is actually the end

of the channel. Know, guys, this is

actually the end. Now once I'm only

getting 1K, 2K views,

it's over. It's gone.

This is stupid. All these subs coming

from— what is that?

Turn it off.

Yeah, I can't believe it's just over like

this so suddenly.

I didn't even get cancelled, or I didn't

have like a big scandal that drove me off

of the internet. I didn't get locked up,

didn't get banned. Just like the

slow, inevitable demise.

And then no one cares.

It's amazing no one cares anymore, like

after how much hate and backlash I used to

get over every little thing.

What happened that made you feel down this

week? Well, I don't want

to rant about this because it would be—

sounds kind of stupid and like I'm just

whining and being selfish or whatever.

But you know George, George Trumbly from

the Japanese from Zero channel? I met him

twice in 2017 and 2020. I don't

know if you guys know him or remember him

or if you used to watch back then. You

remember George, the guy who teaches

Japanese?

Just waiting for people to answer yes or

Yes, no, yes, yes. Okay, I think

you guys know who George is. Well, he's in

Japan right now and he was doing a

livestream a couple weeks ago and on his,

you know, his second channel, whatever.

And no, he was in Korea at the time. I

just said in— I dropped by in the chats

and I said, hey George, what's up? Any

plans to come to Thailand? And then he

looked really excited to see

me in, in the chat. And then he was like

looking up tickets, flight tickets to come

to Thailand, and he sounded like he really

was gonna come to Thailand so we could

meet up. And it sounded like,

like he was really enthusiastic about

coming to Thailand. And I was excited as

well because I haven't seen him for a few

years and I enjoy hanging out with him.

And then I was watching his live streams

because he's in Japan now and he's

streaming almost every day. And I was

watching his live streams, the one from

about 6 days ago, and just randomly in

the beginning of the stream he just says—

like, he says it in a very weird way as

well, like he's got a gun held up to his

head. He just says, um, I have decided not

to go to Thailand because it's too

expensive. And that was it, like 5 words.

And he didn't message me about it because

I thought he was still coming. I didn't

find out until— because I watched the

stream when it was already 4 days ago, so

it wasn't like a new stream, but I was

catching up on his older streams. And then

I just found out he wasn't coming anymore

because I watched a 4-day-old stream, but

he didn't message me about it. He didn't

say, oh hey Daniel, sorry but I'm not

So then I messaged him, I said, hey, just

saw your stream, did you change your mind

about Thailand? And he just said, yeah,

it would be too expensive and I have to

spend too much money. And then that was

it. And then I sent another message, but

he didn't reply to it, but he read it, so

he just left me on read. So I don't know

what happened because I

don't think it's very expensive to come to

Thailand. It's like, it's probably like

$200 for a return ticket and then maybe

$100 for a couple nights in a hotel, then

maybe like $50 for food. It would not even

be more than $400. So I don't know how

it's expensive.

So I don't know if that's the real reason

or if there's like another reason why he

changed his mind. Don't you, don't you

think it's kind of fishy? Like he seems so

excited and enthusiastic to come and then

all of a sudden, oh, not coming.

I don't know if I said or did— it makes me

feel like, did I say or do something that

upset him to make him change his mind?

Because I don't think I have. But the last

time I spoke to him was 3 years ago, and

maybe he didn't know some of the things

I've done in the last 3 years since I last

met him. So I don't know, maybe like

the OnlyFans thing he might not have known

about and then found out about. I don't

know, I feel like I'm going paranoid.

Maybe it is just money. Like, maybe he is

having financial struggles. I don't know.

It just seems kind of strange that he was

suddenly seemingly so into coming to

Thailand and all of a sudden— and then not

even messaging me and then leaving me on

read. I just— I feel like it made me feel

Don't think you were the cause of him not

going to Thailand. I don't know. Because

he seemed like he really wanted to come.

People in his community probably told him

about your OnlyFans. That's what I

thought, because I can't think what else.

But I don't think he'll be upset about it

unless he saw me nude, because that would

make it kind of weird to meet me now if

he's seen me naked. I mean, it could be a

possibility that a troll messaged him my

nudes, but other than that, I can't think

Unless, you know, really he doesn't want

to come because of the money thing. I

don't know, it's just I felt really upset

when I found out about it by watching his

stream because I was looking forward to it

after the, the disaster of meeting Ice.

And just, you know, I was treated so badly

by Ice and he was so rude to me, and I

felt kind of annoyed with the whole DPAC

thing and They're also toxic. It would

have been nice to hang out with a, you

know, a non-toxic person. Ice— everyone

around Ice is so toxic and horrible.

They're all just horrible people. So I was

kind of looking forward to meeting George

because it would be like a nice breath of

fresh air, someone who's upbeat and

positive and, you know, brings people up.

And I haven't really socialized with

anyone since like 2 years ago. I don't

think I've socialized at all just with

someone else that's not a date or a girl.

So I don't know, maybe he got excited

about the idea and then he had some time

to think and then decided, uh, actually I

don't really want to go to Thailand. It

costs a lot of money, and I've never seen

him express any interest in Thailand

before. I'm talking about George from

Japanese from Zero.

I have never seen him talk about Thailand,

so he probably doesn't care about

Thailand. And I think the reason why he

doesn't care about Thailand is because he

doesn't understand how hot Thai girls

are. I reckon he's got this idea of Thai

girls in his mind and he's just thinking

of like ladyboys and like the ugly ones at

the go-go bars. And that's what I used to

be like. I used to think, uh, Thai girls.

But then I came to Thailand and then I

saw, oh my God, there's so many cute hot

girls everywhere. They aren't at the go-go

bars or in like Pattaya. They're just

normal people walking around in Bangkok,

but they're really hot and attractive.

And I know George only likes countries

where the women are hot. That's why he

likes Japan and Korea. I think if he saw

what the Thai girls are like, he would be

more interested. Maybe he never seemed

like a Southeast Asian kind of girl guy,

but the hot girls in Thailand are

basically just Chinese girls with like

maybe a bit of Thai, but they're like

genetically pretty much Chinese.

Well, it's not really a theory because he

said himself he, he only likes, or he

mostly likes Japan and Korea because the

girls there are cute. And the only reason

he likes learning languages is if the

girls are cute. So he obviously doesn't

care about Thai or Thailand because he

doesn't think the girls are cute.

Sorry, I just had a lot of chocolate and I

feel kind of hyperactive right now.

I remember you thought so too when we all

told you Thai girls are hot. Yeah,

because in my mind I just kept thinking of

like, you know, the brown Thai girls who

work at the go-go bars and stuff like

that, and the ladyboy stuff didn't appeal

to me. But then I came and I realized,

wait, everyone here just looks like, you

know, like Chinese girls.

So yeah, I was really disappointed because

I thought he was definitely coming because

he seemed so sure of it on his previous

stream. Then it's just, I don't know,

weird. He's going— he said he's going to

be in Japan until the 10th of September,

then he's going back to Korea. But he

already went to Korea. He was in Korea and

then he went to Japan. Now he's going to

go back to Korea. Why not come to Thailand

instead of go back to Korea? You're

already in Korea and you've never been to

Thailand before. And Korea's boring. It's

just like, I don't— I'm not really a fan

of Korea,

but I didn't want to like splurge out and

start whining because he's not coming

because it sounds kind of stupid. So I

held off on doing a livestream last

Tuesday or Wednesday, but I was pretty

disappointed with it, not gonna lie.

In the back of my mind, I was worrying

like, don't get too excited, don't get too

excited, he might cancel. And then he did

cancel because I was looking forward

to Like showing him some nice

places around Bangkok. And maybe we talk a

bit about Thai, like the Thai language.

I'll tell him, like, try and tell him what

it's like because he's interested in

languages.

But oh well, I guess that's not happening.

What happens if you can't pay the tax?

Well, then they'll just keep adding more

and more interest. If I, if I don't pay by

the deadline, they'll just keep saying,

oh, you paid, you've made the payment

late. Now you got to pay more and more and

more. But then I don't know what happens

if I can just never pay it because they

keep making it more and more. They're

going to send me to jail or what? If I'm

in jail, then obviously I can't pay it.

My mum keeps saying the dumbest stuff.

Like she says, why don't you change your

name? Why don't you just run away? Why

don't you never come back to England? Why

don't you just hide in Thailand? I don't

know what is wrong with my mum. Like, is

she joking or is she being serious?

Because I don't think she's joking because

she doesn't really do sarcastic joking.

She's either, you know, super serious,

blunt, serious without any kind of joking.

But people think she's joking because she

says it with a straight face, but she's

just being like really blunt. I think

she's actually serious. That she thinks I

should change my name and just stay in

Thailand and not pay the tax.

And it's just so annoying because that's

so dumb. Are you serious? Then I can never

come back to England because I'll get

arrested when I arrive and I might get

extradited. And then they could do stuff

like, I don't know, what if they shut down

my bank accounts because I'm like a

fugitive? And my mum never says anything

sensible like Oh, don't worry, Daniel. We

can find a way. You could do payment

plans. I could help you out. I could loan

you some money. Like, she never says

anything helpful or encouraging. Like,

it's okay, Daniel. Um, you made a mistake,

but we can fix it. Don't worry. My mum

never says anything like that. It's always

like doom and gloom. Like, oh my God, why

don't you run away into the jungle and

change your name and delete all your

YouTube and vanish?

Do you realize why I am the way I am?

Because of somebody.

I have a problem. Whenever I have a

problem and I need someone to like pep me

up, give me a pep talk, and like say,

don't worry, Daniel, you can do it, it's—

I go to her and it's always doom and

gloom. Like, oh, when you run away, when

you do this, when you rob the bank.

It triggers me so much. I just wish I had

someone sane who can like give me some

encouragement. It's like the dumbest

thing ever. Oh yeah, I'll just commit tax

evasion and change my name and hide in

Thailand. What a stupid thing to say.

She's not— I don't think she's joking.

Where's the punchline?

If it was my dad, he would say, you know,

he would come up with like a logical,

practical, pragmatic solution to the

problem, to do the right thing, which is

to pay the money. Because I can't not pay

the money. If I don't pay the money, I'm a

criminal and I can't go back home. I'll

get arrested. Bailiffs will come to the

house and start taking stuff away. Do you

know what happened if I refused to pay?

I'll be in so much trouble. And then my

mum just keeps saying such stupid stuff

like, oh, do you have to pay? What if you

just ignore them? Yeah, I'll just ignore

the HMRC. All that. Imagine like saying,

oh, just ignore the IRS, you'll be fine.

So currently the update with the tax thing

is, um, I told them

in 2019 I was living in Japan from June

until March when I came back to the UK

from Korea and then met Mila. And then

they said, can you provide us proof? So I

sent them PDF files of my flight tickets

and my Airbnbs my hotels. And then they

also asked me for photos of my passport

pages, the stamps. So I've got the entry

stamps into Japan, but I don't have the

entry or exit stamps in Korea because when

I Googled it, it says Korea doesn't stamp

your passports. I looked in my passport

page by page meticulously looking for the

stamp, and there's no stamp from Korea. I

got the stamp from Japan I got the stamp

from Malaysia, Vietnam, every other

country, but Korea didn't stamp my

passport. When I Google it, it says they

don't stamp it. I don't remember now.

Apparently they give you a little bit of

paper. Obviously I don't have the paper,

so I told them I don't have the stamp,

but I have proof of my Airbnb and

I have, I have video proof on YouTube that

I was in Korea. I've also got,

uh, proof of a taxi that I took from

Heathrow, but I used a fake name because

you remember when I was in Korea, I

accidentally showed my plane ticket, and

for some reason I was scared that someone

was going to show up at the airport. So

when I booked my taxi, I booked it using a

fake name, something like James Lord.

I don't know why I did that. So if I show

them the PDF, it says James Lord on it,

they're going to get suspicious.

So I hope the YouTube videos— because the

YouTube videos should be proof, right?

Because it says the date. Obviously I'm in

Korea because you can see I'm in Korea.

The only thing they could say is, oh,

maybe you took this video in July and you

only posted it in February. I mean, that

could be possible, but look at the

weather, it's obviously winter. What other

proof do I have? I've got my Airbnbs, got

proof of my Airbnbs I stayed in.

So hopefully the proof that I've submitted

will be fine. They'll say, okay, you don't

have to pay tax for 2019.

And then I asked my tax accountant, can I

reduce my tax bill? Because I lost a lot

of money in the stock market in 2021. Is

your mum not going to lend you money? I

don't know. It doesn't sound like she

wants to because she's coming up

with all these solutions like, well, run

away, change your name. Sell your stuff,

ask your girlfriend for money. But she's

not mentioning like the one thing that

could actually help me, which would be to

lend me some money, then I'll pay her

back. Maybe she spent all

the money. Maybe there's no more money

left.

Hopefully I won't need to borrow money

from my mum because the The tax people

said I can do a payment plan. If I can

even do a 1-year payment plan, I could

probably just pay it by myself. But I'm

actually really scared about my YouTube

channel. I'm actually really— I've never

been this scared before because I've

always had some kind of confidence in

getting views. You know, I just do a bit

of clickbait here, a bit of drama there,

you know, ex-wife this, do like do not buy

this video game. And I've always been fine

with views. I can always get like quarter

of a million views every month, but I'm

actually really worried because nothing is

working. I got some views

on the second channel with Armored Core,

got like 8K views on a build, but it only

made $16. My Starfield video currently

has 1 out of 10 on the rankings, got about

5K views, so maybe I'll get like 10K

views, but even then it's only gonna make

like $20, and I spent $189 buying the

stupid game and the Early Access Digital

Premium version. You don't even try

anymore to make content? I do, and then it

doesn't get views. I tried to make like an

OG meme type video about love dolls,

and I made one about, you know,

dating and being a sociopath and this and

that. They only get like 4K views now.

Do you know how much money 4K views makes?

Like $20.

So I really don't know what to do because

nothing I do now makes views, gets views.

The video games are costing me more money

than I make from the videos on them,

so I think I'm actually screwed. I don't

know what I'm gonna do for money. I had

to shut down my OnlyFans because it's

illegal here.

This is actually— this could actually be

the end of my, what,

7-year no job streak.

I'm just desperate, like I'm desperate for

anything that will make some views. Maybe

I'd do like a Cooking with Daniel video.

I filmed one yesterday, I thought it was

quite funny, just pure cooking.

I got no more stories to tell, there's no

drama. I don't know what to do.

Nothing's working. The last time I got 10K

views was the Ice Poseidon video. Try and

maybe do like more Japan topic topics. Do

not come to Japan stuff. I've made a bunch

of Japan videos copying Sora the Troll.

They all flopped. They got like 4K views.

So I don't know. I really don't know what

to do. I think I'm actually screwed.

I started uploading videos to another

channel. Thinking maybe my channel's

shadowbanned, so I put it onto my, my,

one of my old secret channels. See if

putting it onto a different channel will

get views.

No, stream sniping Ice didn't help at all.

His community sucks. They all hate me,

and all they want is stupid dumb drama,

or people— all they want is like crazy IRL

stuff where you get arrested. And you,

you get punched in the face or something.

They don't want to watch someone just

sitting in his room. They want IRL and

they want crazy IRL. There's no way I can

entertain Ice's community and they all

hate me anyway because of stupid DPAC.

So the Ice community is completely useless

for me.

So I don't know what to do. I might like

try and name-drop some big YouTubers like

that. Abba and Preach made a video about

me. I could react to it now.

I'm actually kind of scared for

the first time in my YouTube career

because even if I failed to to

like get views on a trending topic. I

always had my core audience to fall back

on to get me like 10K views here and

there, and now they're gone. There's only

a couple thousand left.

This is really scary.

It's actually really bad. But maybe I can

do more heartfelt kind of topics and ditch

the trolling, you know, maybe ditch like

the trying to be a meme kind of trolling

videos and just be purely authentic and

genuine and heartfelt.

Because I don't think I can do the whole,

you know, being a meme thing anymore.

That time is over and gone.

I don't really have that kind of— I don't

know, like 2018-19 in my videos, I just

the way I spoke was really weird and I

looked really weird, and it really helped

with the whole meme factor of like being

this lolcow. But as I've gotten older,

I've kind of become more normal and less

weird, so it's harder to be the meme

anymore because I'm like, you know, I talk

more confidently, I'm less spergy.

So yeah, the whole like, oh, I'm like an

incel, cheats on his wife, that kind of

stuff, it's not working anymore.

So maybe I just go to like heartfelt

mental kind of topics. The tax video did

okay. I mean, 5K views is good now.

Really don't know what kind of content to

make anymore. Should I just give up with

the trolling? The trolling was funny when

there was like 50,000 people biting

the bait and getting baited by it, but

they kind of wised up to it and they left.

It was so easy to bait them back when I

was with Chihiro. Just do stuff like, oh,

I cheated on my wife. Oh, my wife is angry

because I cheated. I don't understand.

Oh, SD card and nudes and blah blah blah.

It was so easy to bait them with all that

kind of weird stuff. But now they're not

around, that stuff's not gonna work

anymore. Like, I could do a new, oh, my SD

card kind of content, it won't get views

because they're not around anymore, those

people. I needed

that, what, 40,000 viewers of

people who were just so dumb and believed

everything. But I

either bored them away or I accidentally

ruined it, let the cat out the bag by

saying like I'm just baiting them.

There's stuff like, oh, why I hate my

wife, used to get 40k+ views. People were

so outraged. Oh my god, I can't believe

this guy who says he hates his wife and

puts it on YouTube. Why would he do that?

And people are so dumb, like Elvis Aiden,

Abun Preach, making stupid reaction videos

saying, why doesn't he write it in his

diary? Because it won't make me any

fucking money, won't it,

idiot?

Abun Preach is 2 stupid idiot morons.

They're like, guys— he's got like a lisp

as well, one of the black guys. Is his

name Abba? One of them's Preach, like the

chunky looking black guy. It's what his

lisp— he sounds so dumb. He's like, guys,

I don't understand why this guy make this

video. Why would he say that? His

girlfriend's going to see it. Stupid

idiot. Why the fuck do you think I make

it, moron?

The Abun Preach video really pissed me off

cuz they're just like making these dumb

faces whilst reacting to my video. You

know the Why I Hate My Girlfriend video,

the one called My girlfriend is

unattractive or something. They made a

video reacting to that, and they were just

like standing there going, acting all

disgusted, saying stuff like,

oh, why is he doing this? He needs help.

Uh, because I'm trying to get views on

YouTube. Why do you think I'm doing it,

idiot? Why are you doing it?

I'm doing— I'm making this video for the

same reason you're making your video.

People make such stupid videos.

And then they were like, oh, doesn't he

know that his girlfriend's gonna see this?

As if I care about that single mother

girlfriend. Oh no, 40-year-old single

mother girlfriend's gonna dump me. Better

not post this video. As if I gave a crap.

I dumped her anyway after 2 weeks. And

even if she found it, she wouldn't have

understood it. She doesn't speak any

English.

Your subathon was going pretty well, you

were making good money from that, but then

you just stopped. Well, I was only making

good money because there were like 3

people donating— Blood Bucket, Rosetta

Stone, and a couple other people like

Kale. Who else was it?

Uh, Herbert. There were a couple— there's

like 5 people donating regularly that made

it worth doing. But if they stopped

donating, I barely would have made

anything, cuz they were only getting like

5K views. I was only getting about 80 to

100 viewers.

I mean, I don't know if I lost whales.

They probably don't even know I'm

streaming right now because stupid YouTube

won't tell my subs that I'm doing stuff or

posting stuff. They probably don't even

know I'm streaming. I'll end the stream

and then they'll post a comment saying,

oh, I didn't know, YouTube didn't notify

You dumped a single mother after 2 weeks.

Yeah, I took 2 weeks off work from the

petrol station, took a paid vacation to

Japan, met her, pump and dumped her. And

then I actually, I was gonna, I,

I left and I went back to the UK to carry

on working because I didn't want to lose

my job. And I actually, I was going to

save up and go back and see her again.

But then I met Tomoko on HelloTalk and I

thought Tomoko was younger and more

attractive. So I ditched Single Mother to

go to Tomoko and went to Osako instead.

But actually, one time Chihiro kicked me

out, I actually messaged Single Mother

trying to hook up again, but she wasn't

interested anymore. I said, I'll go to

Nagano Prefecture. Do you want to meet up

again? And she was like, no, sorry.

It would be funny if I went back to her

after everything that happened.

Do react content? Well, I am. I did

a reaction to the FouseyTube situation,

which got 400 views. I did a reaction to

MoistCr1TiKaL's reaction to FouseyTube. I

did a reaction video to Starfield,

Armored Core 6. I did a reaction to one of

my old videos from 2017. What else can

I react to? Maybe I'll react to

Abunpreacher's video about me.

But that was 2 years ago now.

I could react to that Persephone— she made

a video about why my channel died. I could

do that.

Oh, thanks, Common Commenter. I think

Common Commenter was also a donator during

the subathon.

Yeah, the subathon was good because there

were quite a few people supporting it,

helping it. But I had to end it because,

you know, I moved in with that Korean

woman and then I couldn't stream anymore.

I could only stream when I snuck out of

the apartment. But I thought the

money I'll save by living with her will be

more than the money that I could make from

I'm live streaming. But it

was really horrible living with her. The

apartment was horrible, cold and small and

old, and it was really awkward and I

didn't know what to do all day.

Thought you're meddling in stocks and

shares. I am, but I'm invested in China.

And now if you— if any of you follow

finance channels, They're all making

videos about why the Chinese economy is

screwed. Typical that

I buy Chinese stocks and all these

YouTubers start saying China's economy is

now screwed. And I'm

heavily invested in gold and gold doesn't

like high yield environments. And now the

10-year yield bond, bond yield is up when

it shouldn't really.

So all my stocks are down like 10-15%.

I've lost another couple thousand pounds

since I lost a big part of my investments

back in 2021.

How awkward. Um, not as awkward

as Turkish girl awkward because she didn't

get mad at me, but it was just awkward

because Because I didn't know what to do.

I just sat there on my laptop playing this

kind of 2D browser game where you evolve a

stick insect, and I literally sat there

all day evolving this stick thing and

trying to improve its balance and stuff

and make it walk further because I

couldn't do anything. I couldn't make

videos, couldn't stream.

I'd wake up, make coffee, and Sit— the

whole place was freezing cold because

there's no heating in Japan. Had to switch

on the little plug-in heater that took

ages to heat up, and it only heats up like

an area where you're sitting. So freezing

cold apartment, make coffee, sit on the

floor on my computer. She would then go on

her computer and do some coding work,

and then we would have lunch,

and then maybe like sit around. Then I'd

make dinner. And we'd go shopping. It was

so boring. I hated it so much,

and I really wanted to leave. I think

after the second day, I really wanted to

leave, and I was already hatching a plan.

How can I leave? Should I tell her?

Should I just leave when she's not here?

It was such a bad decision to make, to

move in with her. Why did I do that? And

then I had the worst Candida on my 5 skin.

It was so bad. It was like my dick

was rotting. It took 6 or 7 days until it

finally got better. It was so red and

cheesy and it smelled really bad. And I'd

like peel back the foreskin and it felt

so— ugh. Like, it felt horrible peeling it

back, but I had to to wash it.

Sometimes I really hate having a foreskin.

Gotta keep washing it. I wash it twice a

day now. And every time I wash it,

there's stuff coming off it.

So I haven't even been doing it much. I

think the last time I did it was like

almost 10 days ago, but I still got to

keep washing the FiveSkin. If I

don't, then it will just build up and

build up and get out of control, and then

it'll go red and infected again.

Massive demand on non-precious metals

coming soon. Is gold non-precious? No,

gold is precious, but I actually

don't have gold. I have Barrick Gold,

which is a gold mining company, but they

don't only mine gold, they also mine, I

think, copper, and they make some kind of

iron alloy thing. I don't know, they do

lots of stuff.

Uh, so yeah, I had to end the subathon in

Japan because of the Korean woman thing.

When I left the place, it was so nice. I

felt like I just escaped from prison.

The worst thing is when you move in with

someone and you feel like you're trapped,

like you're in a prison.

That's what I felt like with Chihiro. I

felt like I was in a prison.

So what do you think I should do with my

dead YouTube channel? I thought maybe we

make a new channel and you guys who still

watch can come and sub to my new channel

and we just kind of ditch this channel.

And then this channel I just use it to

like spam out do not buy kind of trending

topic videos. And then I'll do like my

personal life stuff on a new channel.

Maybe there's like a shadow ban thing on

my channel now.

I just— I don't want to ditch my channel.

It's like my baby that I put so much

passion and energy into.

And I've seen other— I've seen other

YouTubers do it. Like, they think, oh, my

main channel's shadowbanned, I'll make a

new one, and it never goes anywhere.

Like, Boogie tried to make a new channel,

Boogie Travels. That Gross Gore guy tried

to make a new channel. It doesn't work.

Like, the reason why your main channel is

dead is because you lost the ability to

make good content. So making a new channel

is not going to change that. If you could

suddenly magically make good content

again, then it wouldn't matter if you put

it on the main channel or a new channel.

It would— it should do well, but it has

to be good like you used to make it. But

then people lose the ability to make the

stuff they used to be able to make because

They change as people.

I felt trapped with Chihiro because she

kept getting upset when I was trying to

make good content. You can't disagree, my

content was good back then. And you know

why it was good? It's because I had no

fear and I didn't let people tell me what

to do. And when they tried to tell me what

to do, I left and I was like, screw you,

I'm leaving. Chihiro tried to

stop me making good content, and she

wanted me to stop talking about the

relationship and stop doing this and stop

That's why I felt trapped. So I felt like

I had to leave so I could do what I want.

Like, right now I'm prioritizing the

relationship. Which is why my content

sucks now, because, you know, I have to

keep my mouth shut about certain things.

But I really just don't have any content.

What, what is content recently?

I don't know. Yeah,

also like my viewers get older, they won't

be interested anymore in the same kind of

drama stuff over and over again.

So it's, it's inevitable that it will die,

and it was gonna die anyway.

And 5 years ago, when people asked me,

what are you gonna do when it dies? And I

used to say, oh, I don't know, change my

content. Or I'd say, oh, it's never gonna

die. Well, it's dead now. What do I do

now? I didn't make a plan B. I don't have

a backup plan. There was only a plan A,

which was do YouTube. So what do I do now?

Sell stuff on eBay? I don't know.

Oh yeah, um. I want to go back home for

Christmas to the UK because,

well, recently my Malaysian uncle passed

away and I felt kind of bad about it.

Do you remember I was saying my uncle had

stage 4 cancer? Well, he, he finally

passed, I think last week, and they had

the funeral a couple of days ago and I

was on my Facebook just checking out my

old posts from like 5 years ago, 10 years

ago, and I noticed he commented a lot on

my posts and he used to like my posts a

lot. And I just kind of ignored him

because on my Facebook, I used to treat my

Facebook like my personal diary and I post

pictures and my food and my trips and

travels. And he was commenting a lot on

my stuff.

And my English uncles and aunties never

interact with me, apart from maybe one

auntie. As you know, it's 2 aunties that

do interact with me, but all my UK uncles,

they never talk to me. But my Malaysian

uncles, well, they at least tried.

But I didn't really realize that that

uncle was like commenting and liking on my

stuff so much. And he also tried to meet

me in Japan once, but I left already

because he was also interested in Japan

and Aikido because he was doing Aikido to

quite a high level. And I saw him last

year when we went to Malaysia, and I

didn't even talk to him once because I

didn't know what to say. I don't think— I

don't even know if I even said hi. Oh

yeah, I remember I went to Don Quijote and

then he was like, let's let Daniel go to

Don Quijote and reminisce about his

ex-wife. And then I laughed. That was like

the only interaction. But he was around

for several days taking us around. And

then we had dinner and beers. And now he's

gone and I feel kind of guilty. And I feel

like all these

family stuff, people get old and then they

seem fine now. And then a year later or 2

years later or 4 years later, they die as

well. So I'm kind of scared that if I

don't spend time with my family when I

can, when they do die, I'm going to

feel guilty. So I feel like I should go

back home for Christmas. What do you

think? Good idea? Because I, I haven't

been home for Christmas since 5 years

ago. Last time I came home for Christmas

was 2019. Like, 2020 I was in Rotterdam

for Christmas. 2021 I was in Manchester

for Christmas. 2022 I was in Bangkok for

Christmas. So I kind of miss going home

for Christmas.

I was checking the flights, they don't

seem too expensive now. I saw one £700,

4-hour layover in Hanoi,

but my girlfriend's got to get a visa cuz

Thai— I don't know why Thai people need

the visa to go anywhere.

The world is not kind to Thai people. I

don't know why. Like, Thai people can only

stay in Japan for 2 weeks. They can only

stay in Vietnam for like 10 days.

They need a visa to go to America and the

UK.

I don't know why, like, other countries

don't like Thai people coming to their

country for some reason. So my

girlfriend's got to look at getting a visa

now, and I asked her to pay for her to But

she said she's got no money. But she said

she can pay me like $100 every month

for the ticket, which I don't know if

she's actually able to do that,

so I might end up having to pay for her

ticket as well. Oh, thanks Splishbee for

the super chat. So if I have to pay for a

ticket as well, it's going to cost like

1,500. She never

has money, I don't know why. And now she's

going to get upset if she sees me say

this, cuz I talked about this before and

she saw it and she got upset.

So eventually I'm going to run out of

money and then she never has any money.

We're just going to be both broke, I

I'm thinking, yeah, going home to the UK

would cost money, but I can sell some

stuff. I got a MacBook Air, got a 20— was

it 2020 edition MacBook Air? I could sell

that. I don't know if it's worth anything.

Maybe like— well, it cost me £800 when

I bought it, so maybe it's worth like £400

now, but it's got a dent. On the top. So

maybe it's only worth 300. I don't know.

I could also try sell my curved gaming

36-inch monitor, although I kind of want

to bring it back with me because it's a

nice monitor. But how can I bring a

36-inch monitor in my backpack? It's too

big. Can I just carry it? Imagine like you

check into a plane and you're just

carrying a monitor in your hands. Oh wow,

thanks Splishy for the super sticker.

Do you think she'll leave you if you

become broke? I don't know,

cuz I won't have any money to pay rent and

stuff, so either she's gonna have to pay

it or we get kicked out of the apartment.

So imagine I can't pay and she refuses to

pay as well. Then we get kicked out. I

don't know where she's gonna go. She'll go

to like a friend's house or say, and I

guess I'll just go back home to my mum

because I won't have any money because I

don't know how to make money anymore. It

used to be so easy, just like make a

video, 50k views.

The tax bill is going to be eating into my

savings and eating into any money I still

make.

Did you feel humiliated during the ice

Poseidon stream? I didn't really feel

humiliated. I just thought, this is so

silly. Like, imagine you're in a classroom

full of kids and they're just being silly.

As an adult, I don't think you would feel

humiliated because you understand. That

they're just dumb kids being silly. He's

just sitting there thinking, they're so

silly. Oh wow,

thanks Splish. Wow, Splish be being very

generous today. $20.

Stop declaring all your income. Well,

that's what I did, and then I got in

trouble because I didn't declare it all.

If I had declared all of it when I had—

when I was supposed to, then I wouldn't be

in this problem. Although I would have

much less money because I would have— even

without— I mean, even if I paid the tax I

had to pay now back then, it still would

have meant that I would be down 15K

because my tax for every year would have

been around 4K,

5K. Trying to help with the tax situation.

Oh, thanks. Yeah, it helps very

but fingers crossed I won't have to pay

for 2019 because I was in Japan and I sent

them proof. And fingers crossed I can

do payment plan.

If you don't go back to the UK, you won't

have to pay it. But won't I get

extradited? And won't they do stuff like

close down my bank accounts? I'm pretty

sure they won't just say, oh, okay, he's

not coming back, and then just leave it.

They'll try and punish me or try and get

me. And obviously

I would like to be able to go back to the

UK whenever I want to. Like, what if my—

what if I actually go completely broke? I

gotta go home and I gotta go and get a

job. I can't get a job anywhere

else in the world because I don't speak

the languages, I don't have like a

qualification. What company's gonna hire

me if

I went completely broke? I would just go

home, go back to the job center, and Think

about getting a job, try and rebuild

something. So I

want to be able to go back to the UK, and

when I'm old, like 60 years old,

maybe I want to go back to the UK to live

out the rest of my life and just sit in my

garden, listen to the birds singing,

enjoy the cool summer breeze of the UK

summer. I don't want to never be able to

go back to the UK. That would suck. Why do

people think— why does my mum think I

never want to be able to go home again?

She thinks I hate my own country so much.

So not paying it is not really an option.

Because I'd be completely screwed.

The worst-case scenario would be I would

have to end up going home and I'd have to

get a job. And then if the YouTube doesn't

make money anymore, then I would have to

get a job to save up money to go on my

next adventure. Or to like fund my

next thing I want to do in life. I would

need to get a job then, wouldn't I?

So I guess that's like the worst-case

scenario if I can't find a

way to make YouTube work for me.

Why do you keep thinking about the next

adventure and not plan how to set yourself

up financially? Because I don't know how

to. How do I— in

an ideal world, I would set up like

passive income business streams, make a

course, make a video about the course,

make a Patreon. But what course am I going

to make? Like how to suck at everything in

life. What can I teach? I can teach like

basic Japanese grammar.

Also, the adventures I had

basically grew the channel. Because it was

thanks to the adventures I had all these

stories to tell. And the stories were what

really grew the channel. It was my, my

storytelling, my weird experiences with

women, my experiences learning Japanese

and traveling around Japan was

really the building blocks of the channel.

And that's what made the foundation.

He sold merch at some point. I still sell

merch. It should be at— is it under this,

under the video screen? There should be

like a merch shelf, but I haven't made any

new stuff yet because I don't know what to

make.

But I need to make something. The only way

you make money in this world is if you

make something. You got to create,

put something out into the world that

people either enjoy or they could learn

something from. If you don't make

anything, then it's hard to get anywhere.

Do I still draw? I just do like little

sketches in my textbook at school.

Like, I did this sketch.

I did this sketch.

This sketch,

I don't know what it is. It's like a table

full of junk with a wolfman standing

there.

If I could learn how to make good videos