Playing Some Switch Games (No Haters Allowed)-XbAI7XIvO0km4v

How come you haven't made any videos from my sandwich factory? Well, I tried, but my boss Jimbo Jenkins said, Daniel, I know you like filming, but we're at work here and there's sandwiches to be inspected, so I don't want to catch you filming the sandwiches anymore. So I said, okay boss, I won't do it again, boss. Please

don't fire me, boss. And he said, good boy, Daniel. He patted me on the head, gave me a biscuit. So sorry, no video live from the sandwich factory, but can I interest you in 5 hours of Fortnite? Sorry about the drilling, but someone's been drilling since yesterday.

And it's really annoying.

Will I get Xbox, PS5? No, but actually the guy here at the Airbnb has an Xbox I could steal. Should I steal his Xbox? No, I'd get in so much trouble. I don't want an Xbox

because then I'd need a TV and I'd have to buy games.

Last time I played Xbox was 2000 and—

when was it? 2014. I actually bought an Xbox One, ended up returning it the next week because I decided to go to Japan to have sex with a Japanese girl who then gave me chlamydia. And I never played Xbox ever again since 2014.

And that was the last time I ever touched a gaming console apart from

the Switch. But is this how it works in real life? You just splash petrol over the car and it fills it up?

Okay, I'm gonna move my tripod a bit closer. Do you like my setup? I've got a cardboard box stand and I've got a little metal mini tripod. My gaming setup has kind of gone backwards.

Fucking hell,

I thought I'd get more viewers if I streamed on my main channel, but I actually had more viewers on my second channel. What the hell?

Am I streaming on Hiding in My Room? So I streamed this on my second channel last week and I had more viewers than I do now.

What the hell? Channel has really died, hasn't it?

People are at work. I've got 100,000 subscribers. You'd think that I'd get at least 100 viewers no matter what time it is.

What bloody outrage. I'm just outraged.

Might as well have streamed on the second channel with these numbers.

Oh well, at least I tried.

You don't post that much drama anymore. What are you talking about?

I got kicked out of my Airbnb. Last week.

Is that not drama enough for you? What kind of bloody drama do you want?

It is stupid, isn't it? People complain about all the drama, and then when there's no more drama, they don't watch.

I try and do non-drama, nice stuff. No one cares.

And then they say, well, Daniel, why don't you just make stuff that you want to make? And then when I do, no one cares. And then they wonder why I keep making drama videos.

And then they call me the stupid one. That's the, that's the most outrageous thing about it.

They have the nerve to call me the dumb one when they're the dumb people who only watch my drama and negative videos, and then they complain about all the negativity.

Isn't Fortnite good now? When I used to play it 2 years ago, they didn't have cars, they didn't have jeeps, they didn't have helicopters, they didn't have special powers. Now you can get the Iron Man laser beam thing, which I don't actually like these powers. They're kind of annoying. I like it when people just use guns to

fight each other. Now we've got these big magical green energy thing bombs.

Wow, there's only 18 players left.

How did they all die so quickly?

Oh, Daniel only makes drama videos and complains all the time, but we don't want to watch his videos when he's not Doing drama or complaining.

I think Fortnite is the best online shooting game on Switch. Which one's better then? Obviously there's no Rainbow Six, so I can't play that. Oh, fucking drill.

If he's gonna drill, can't he do it faster? He's been doing it since yesterday.

Splatoon. Splatoon looks stupid. I want to shoot people with guns. I don't want to paint them. I don't want to spray them with paint. I want to shoot them in the face.

Is that too much to ask for?

I am level 48 on Fortnite. I play it 10 hours a day.

Hopefully he'll stop in a few hours. Yesterday he stopped around afternoon.

Oh, we've got some action here. I'll get the action for the stream, you can count on me. Where'd he go? There he is,

trying to shoot my Jeep.

Oh no, I don't have my gun equipped. See, that's action.

I'm a massive target because I'm so fat and colorful.

I can't hit these other people because they're so tiny.

Oh no, they're coming towards me now, and there's several of them. They're all ganging up on me. Look at this,

that's not fair. They all ganged up on me, just like my YouTube audience. Look, 3 versus 1,

so unfair.

I paid £16 to become a massive target. Big fat yellow feathery red blob.

Oh wow, she's sexy. Look at those thighs. I just want to pull those hot pants down, put my finger up her bum.

Stream sniped? Yeah, right.

I wish I was famous enough to people actually— for people to actually want to stream snipe me. Why did I give money to Fortnite? Because I want to look special.

I want to be special.

So yesterday I went to the beach and we played in the sea. My trousers got wet, but they had all these restaurants by the beach and they had open fireplaces. And we sat by a fire and we had a burger. It was pretty nice.

Sorry if my happy, lovely, peaceful, drama-free life doesn't interest you anymore.

I'm so sorry that my life is actually good now. Sorry it doesn't entertain you.

And then we played pool and went to the arcade. They had Beat Saber, but for some reason the machine wasn't working, so I couldn't play it.

Very disappointing.

And on Thursday or Wednesday, I forgot now, I'm gonna be living on a boat for a few days, so I'll vlog that.

You know what I'd love to do for content? I'd love to buy a house in Japan and then make it nice. And then the house collapses from an earthquake. That'll be so funny.

Oh no, I don't want to die. I don't want to die.

If I was rich, I would just do crazy stuff like randomly buying a really old house in Japan and then blowing it up or setting it on fire.

That'd be funny.

I would like to buy a house for content, but I'm not that crazy. I thought buying the sex doll was crazy enough, and that was a lot of money, and I didn't even make my money back. Oh crap, I didn't even make my investment back. And I just got a yeast infection from not cleaning it.

How much views do you think I'd get if I bought a house in Japan? Probably 20,000. Make $100. Yeah, spend $40,000 to make $100. Good idea.

Great idea.

I've actually got a full team this time.

Fantastic.

That £40,000— I mean, dollar house was one of the cheapest ones, and it was in the middle of nowhere, countryside. It's probably falling apart, needs a lot of work.

Oh, my sister bought a car recently, which is quite surprising, but she can't drive yet. She had 2 lessons and she bought the car already. It looks quite nice. I wanted to buy a car for content. I was gonna buy like a cheap £200 one and and then drive it into the pond or something. But I don't

really want to go back home now. My mum's not being nice.

I had to ban her from commenting on my videos because she was writing horrible stuff about me. That feeling when your mum becomes a hater, it feels bad, man.

Next she'll be on the subreddit, won't she, doing an ask me anything, what it's like being the mother of Daniel Lord.

Failure of a son.

Come on, making money on OnlyFans has to be a bit of an improvement from sponging off of the government and getting JobSeeker Allowance. She was writing stuff like, I hope Daniel never comes home, so horrible having a son like him. And it is her. I know it's her. It's not some troll.

And just because I'm selling nudes on OnlyFans, I'm getting all this abuse.

Is it really that bad to sell some nudes on OnlyFans? What's the big problem?

I didn't even do anything wrong. At least I'm earning my own money,

making my way in life. You'd think she would be happy after I've just been

unable to support myself for the last 12 years of my life.

I had to find, find some way to make money, didn't I?

Not my fault I'm lazy and stupid.

Well, I went to the dentist here, so I don't really have to go back anyway. The only reason I was thinking about going back was to go to the dentist, which reminds me, I have to phone them up and get them to give me my money back. I went to the dentist here and she said I don't

need fillings and my teeth are fine. It's just my gums. She poked my gums with a metal stick and they bled. She said I should go to the doctors because that's not normal.

Well, if you didn't poke it with a metal, a metal pick, then it wouldn't have bled in the first place. So I think it's fine.

If she says my teeth are fine, then I guess they're fine. I don't know why the English dentist said I needed fillings.

Which country is more expensive, Japan or Germany? Germany, definitely. The rent in European countries, in good European countries, is just insane.

The rent is so expensive. It's like thousands,

whereas in Japan it would cost me like £500 or £600 to get, get a nice, nice Airbnb.

Where'd he go?

But if you want to stay in a nice European country, you're gonna have to pay £1,500 to £2,000.

Just for a normal place, not like an amazingly good place.

So that's not nice.

People keep saying Japan is expensive are so stupid.

Every time I hear someone say, oh, isn't Japan expensive, just makes you want to punch them in the ballsack.

It's like one of the biggest misconceptions in the world is number one, Japan is expensive. Number two, Oh, he only gets 10K views, he can't be making much money. Even though I don't have a YouTube channel and I don't know what I'm talking about, but I used some random view calculator, so that must be right. I don't

know why idiots think a channel that only gets 10K views per video doesn't make much money. How would they even know? And then they're like, oh, my friend Jim Bob has 20,000 subs and he only makes $1 per video. Even though his video is probably 20 seconds long and full of swearing and is probably demonetized.

And they use some stupid view calculator or earnings calculator, and they, they enter the number and they say, according to this calculator, you only make $12,

even though the calculator doesn't know how many ads are in the video, what the CPM rate is, what the content is, what the watch time is. The, the calculator only knows the views and uses some default CPM number, which is probably not even accurate. And then people have the audacity to assume how much money I'm making because

a stupid view calculator said so.

Too many. Why are there so many people trying to kill me? I'm just a colorful fat bird.

And then when I do tell them how much I actually make, they don't even believe me and they say I'm making it up. So if you don't believe me, what's the point of even asking?

Oh, he's trying to get away, trying to get away.

I don't know why people think—

whoa, did you see that?

Sniped from 92 meters away. Did you see that snipe? That was pro level.

Yeah, for some reason there's this massive, uh, misconception on how much money a YouTuber makes.

They think you need millions of views to be able to make a living.

Even though they don't have any experience of having a channel themselves and they've never probably made a video ever before, all of a sudden they're the experts. Because they've got fucking View Calculator, or they look at Social Blade as if that's a reliable source of income— I mean, information.

Play Resident Evil. I finished Resident Evil 1 on Switch. It was okay. It got kind of repetitive. The beginning it was intriguing and interesting, but then you kind of realize the entire game is basically just— you go to one room, it's locked, you must find a key, you open the door after you find the key, and then

you've got more rooms that are locked and you got to find another key. It's just same thing over and over again,

and then you get random zombies doing jump scares.

It just got boring and repetitive.

You just open one door and then you're faced with another locked door. You gotta find the key. You go round and round in circles in this stupid mansion

trying to find keys. Why don't you just kick the door down

or use her shotgun to blow the door off the hinge?

Ah, such a stupid game. And they're all like that. Resident Evil 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. It's just you going around some building looking for keys and solving these stupid puzzles.

I got fed up with it.

I find the story interesting.

But the gameplay just sucks

big balls.

I'm very interested in the whole idea of a police station getting overrun by a mob of zombies, even when they're supposed to be armed and they've got guns and equipment

and all this stuff. How do they get overrun by a mob of mindless, brainless zombies? It makes no sense. Oh no, it's too many! 2 versus 1. No, don't rape me. Oh look, he's got the same one as me. Haha. Aww, I was gonna shoot the, the can of petrol to blow them up.

One annoying thing is the auto aim. I'm not sure if I should switch it off, but it keeps messing up my gameplay,

especially when they jump. The auto aim kind of spazzes out.

You should play Warframe. I tried, but it was just boring. I couldn't get into it, and then I got stuck on the spaceship and I didn't know how to get out, and it wasn't fun.

I wish they would bring Fall Guys onto Switch. That'd be fun. It seems as though it's only on PC. It looks like quite a fun game.

I think Fortnite is my favorite game right now. Maybe I even like it more than Rainbow Six.

And I've got this Switch Pro Controller, which makes it quite fun to play. I was getting bored of Rainbow Six. I heard there's a new operator, the Splinter Cell Tom Clancy guy. I'm not sure what his special moves are. Does he have night vision? Does he hang from pipes and strangle people?

I was getting, getting bored with all the new operators. Last time I played, they had this guy called Oryx and he could charge into people,

but Fortnite, um,

Fortnite scratches my need, my urge to want to play a multiplayer shooting game quite well.

Why can't I hit this guy?

Come on, I hit him so many times. I was aiming right at him and the bullets just, just like floated to the side. Stupid game.

So annoying when it happens.

I was aiming right at his body and then bullets go all around him.

Resident Evil 2 and 7 are decent.

I never played 7. I played 2, but it was too scary. Remember last year when I played Resident Evil 2 on Twitch?

Why is there a baby laughing?

Yeah, before my marriage failed, I did have one last attempt at gaming streams on Twitch. I played Resident Evil 2, I played Rainbow Six.

Someone's speaking.

What the hell

is he saying? Shut up, shut

up.

Yeah, before my marriage failed, I did have one last try at Twitch streaming playing Resident Evil 2,

but I could barely get any viewers and then no one donated, so I felt like, why am I doing this?

It just felt like a waste of time.

Why can't I hit him?

Stay still.

Oh, this person's playing with a stupid baby.

Shouting in the

background. What's that sound?

Why do they have their mics on? I don't understand. Are they expecting to talk to people in the game?

Mute the voice chat? Yeah, I guess I could, but sometimes it's funny.

To communicate, but no one communicates. No one talks to each other. They have the mic on, but they're not talking to people in the game. They're talking to their own family,

saying nasty stuff in Arabic. Someone translate. I want to know what he's saying.

What's

that noise?

These random beeping sounds keep coming from him. Ouch.

Yeah, I think I will mute him.

How do I do it?

Voice chat 0%.

Apply is X. Okay.

The thing I don't understand is why do people think my life is less interesting than it was when I was in Japan? I'm pretty much doing the same thing.

What is the difference?

I guess the biggest difference is,

uh, this time my lady is not willing to be on camera,

but she's still there.

Japan is more interesting, but I didn't even go outside in Japan. I I just went— I made a few videos outside in the slums. Most of the time I was in the apartment just making rant videos. The hell is this?

So they've added all these computer-controlled things in Fortnite now.

I don't like it.

I don't want to play against bots. I want to play against real people.

I need to start socializing more. Yeah, because socializing gave me so many views. I went and met George, didn't I, when I was in Korea? 18K views, and we did all this cool fun stuff. And no one cared. And I met that Eugene guy and no one cared.

And I met the Hong Kong guy and then he fucks me over.

How do you kill this thing?

I don't know how to kill this robot. I'm just gonna run.

People only like when others are suffering. Yeah, that's the sad thing about my channel.

The reason why most people watch is because they're kind of sick and twisted people who want to feel better about themselves by watching someone that they think of as a loser.

They're not good people.

They're scum of the earth. That's why I don't really feel bad

about taking advantage of them, because they're shit people. I mean, what kind of person only finds entertainment in someone

someone's channel if it's bad things happening to the person.

I think it's just a sad reflection of the society we live in.

Why do people keep shooting me?

Oh, come on, how are none of these hitting him?

I guess my biggest problem right now, I'm not really suffering. Life's pretty good.

I got my dream girl, I've got plenty of money coming in.

I'm not really stressed out with anything apart from getting views.

It's good for me, but it's bad for the channel, so I need to find a way to make it seem like my life sucks

so I can get these stupid sick sadistic people to watch my bloody videos and feel superior about themselves.

And wouldn't it be nice if I had people who watched me because they actually liked me? That would be so great. Then I might actually enjoy making videos for a change. Fucking hell, hit him like 5 times in a row.

I'm trying to aim for the head, but the head's so tiny.

Problem is you're not a likable person. Yeah, that's the stupid thing about it.

If I was likable, then people wouldn't care what I did. It's just I give off this

aura of being not likable and being a loser. It's like when I ask questions about Jackie Chan and Arnold Schwarzenegger, and then they'll say, oh, because they're successful.

So they don't care that they cheated.

It just kind of shows you that it doesn't matter how shit of a person you are, people would still think you're cool if you were likable and if you were, in their eyes, successful. But because I don't look manly and because I'm not likable

People just automatically want to shit on me,

even though on paper, technically, I probably have a better standard of living and life than most of them.

What phone do I have? I have a Samsung S10 Plus and a Galaxy Fold. But the thing is, I think I'm nice to people if they're nice to me, and if they're rude to me, well, I'll be fucking rude back. That's how it works.

Well, that's how it works in real life, isn't it? Someone's rude to you, you're going to be rude back to them. But on YouTube, as a YouTuber, no, you have to let people walk all over you and say whatever they want. That's the problem with YouTube. People just expect the YouTuber to not bite back because, because

you're supposed to pander to everyone so you're likable.

Even if people are saying low rubbish about you, calling you names, supposed to just ignore it.

So people feel like they can say anything they want about a YouTuber or to a YouTuber, and the YouTuber will just pretend that nothing's happening. And then as soon as you start arguing back with them, telling them to fuck off, apparently all of a sudden you're just like a bull and you're the dick and you're the rude

one when you're just defending yourself.

Someone wants to be rude to me, then I'll be rude back. If you want me to be nice, then try being nice to me.

But no, I'm the dick for defending myself. It's just so annoying because if I just keep quiet, then I'm a pushover. If I stand up for myself, then I'm a dick and not a nice person.

Yeah, I'm not nice to people who are not nice to me.

What a shocking revolution.

People say, oh, you used to be nice when your channel was smaller. We preferred old Daniel when he was nicer. Yeah, I was nicer back then because people were nicer to me and they weren't a bunch of dickheads. No ammo.

Fuck you, trying to kill me.

Whoa, I'm out of ammo on everything. Uh-huh, but you still died.

If you're sitting in your car and some psycho starts banging on your window calling you a fuckface, what are you gonna do? You're not gonna be like, oh, I'm sorry, please stop calling me a fuckface.

You're gonna tell them to fuck off, aren't you?

I keep falling down here.

And the reason why I started trolling is because I just got fed up with the stupidity of people.

I feel like, what's the point wasting all this time trying to be reasonable, trying to explain my point of view and where I'm coming from? When these people don't even want to listen. They've already made up in their minds what their opinion is, and it's just a waste of time arguing with them.

But for some reason, they don't go away. They keep coming back. So obviously I'm not going to stop making videos because I make money from doing it,

but I just get fed up, you know. So I feel like might as well troll the shit out of them if they're too stupid to understand someone else's point of view and they just want to argue all the time.

Uh, it's a shame, I guess. 'Cause I did enjoy expressing myself and being genuine at one point.

But I guess you reach a point when there's just so many dickheads that—

I don't know. Just feels like you're wasting your time.

And then people just invalidate everything I say because I did a few bad things in the past, and because I'm not likable, or because I don't make much money, or because I'm not muscular and macho.

Oh well, it is what it is.

Now the main enjoyment I get from making videos is just pissing people off and triggering them.

You know, I do stuff on purpose like jumping on the bed, showing panties, being disrespectful, because I know it pisses them off

and I get a kick out of it.

Obviously I just do those things for the video.

Why else would I do it? I don't have to do that stuff. The video is not about jumping on the bed.

Now, one other stupid thing was when I showed the key under the doormat. I got a load of comments whining about it, saying, oh my God, you showed everyone where she keeps her spare key. Oh, that's not where she keeps her spare key. That's where I pretended she put it for me to get to open the door.

It would have just been there the one time for me to pick up. It's not like she has a spare key under the doormat all the time. Do people not use their brains?

Who would be dumb enough to keep a spare key under the doormat and then let me film where she hides it? Oh God,

where is he? Whoa, 140 crit! That's what you get when you try and get in the face of someone who has an orange epic grade shotgun.

You should start making videos responding to hate comments. I did, it's called Annoying Things My Viewers Say, and it didn't even get 10K views. And then people just whined about it, saying, oh, shouldn't bite the hand that feeds.

So they're allowed to whine about me, but I'm not allowed to whine about them?

Bunch of hypocrites.

They can dish it out, but they can't take it. As soon as I start firing back at them, they start crying like a bunch of babies. Daniel's not being nice.

Wow.

Someone's trying to kill me. Oh look, it's a big banana man. Is that Onision? Look, there's a big banana suit. You know, that's why I kind of sympathize with Onision, because Even after all that Chris Hansen bullshit, they didn't find anything to charge him with, didn't find anything to send him to jail.

And he's explained his side of the story so many times with proof, and no one cares. They just want to shit on him because he's dislikable and because all these other stupid cunt YouTubers like Repzion are more likable. And they make all these videos trashing him.

YouTube is just like being at school, isn't it? If you're not popular, then

you'll get picked on even if you did nothing really wrong.

But if you're good-looking and you're likable, then Everyone will be on your side even though what you're talking about is a load of rubbish.

I think it's kind of tragic. You know, we all start off YouTube because we're interested in creating stuff. We want to share our lives and experiences with other people, and it's like this big, exciting, positive thing. And then over years, it just— it's like it gets poisoned and corrupted, and then you start hating the whole thing and

the viewers.

Oh crap, that was too high to jump.

What?

I hit him in the legs. Oh, 209 critical damage.

Oh, someone here.

Uh-oh.

Oh, no way.

Oh, 220! Did you see that?

I've killed 11 people. Are these actual players? They're so bad, they just stand there.

No jumping, no building.

Someone said they put bots in the game. Were they talking about the Stark henchmen and drones, or are they saying players are disguised— I mean, bots are disguised as players? Because some of these people are so bad at it. I'd be disappointed if I wasn't actually fighting against real people.

Maybe they're playing on phones and they're 5-year-old— 5 years old, and they really— they're really bad at the game. Could be possible.

I guess I do have a big advantage against mobile players. I have a pro controller and they're using their touchscreen phones.

Can't fucking stay still, stupid.

Oh, I got 4 headshots in the match. Pretty good.

Oh, we won Victory Royale! Can I get a like? For my victory. Look at my muscles.

Oh,

and the drilling stopped, so the day is getting better.

And if I got a laptop, I'd be playing against all of the really good no-life PC gamers. And I'll just end up getting killed all the time. It wouldn't be any fun.

It wouldn't be any fun if I couldn't win. Am I still working out? I did 30 push-ups this morning. I might do another 30.

Build your house on Minecraft. I did that last year, didn't I? Maybe I can continue if I remember my Minecraft login. I made it pretty well. It looks— it was looking good,

but then I got bored.

Everything

is boring.

You need to upload more trendy topics. I tried. I made a video about Bella Thorne. That was a trending topic. Didn't even get 10K views. I am disgusted with my subscribers.

Appalled and outraged.

I made one about Filthy Frank. I guess that got good views. 20K. And a lot of them weren't even my subs, but they didn't watch much of the video, so I didn't make much money off it. Off it.

Not fair. All these stupid nobody Japanese people get hundreds of thousands, and I can't even get more than 20K reacting to Filthy Frank. Oh, it just appeared out of nowhere.

So right now a trending topic is that Netflix movie which the little girls twerking. It's called Cuties. I watched Elvis Adian's video about it, but pretty sure it'll get demonetized. Talking about girls being sexualized, it's not a good topic to make money off.

And what would I even say? Oh, it is bad. These young girls are being sexualized. That's not good.

Young girls should not be sexualized. And what is there to say apart from the most obvious?

I won't even be able to make a video lasting 20 seconds about it.

This movie is bad. Shame on you, Netflix.

I don't know what video to make really.

Uh, I guess I'll make my video on my boathouse Airbnb. When I go there.

I'm guessing people won't care though. I bet it'll get 9K views, won't it?

9K views.

So this is what it's come down to.

Don't make me do the whole faking cancer thing, cuz I will do it.

I will copy the script from that Netflix series called Sick Note. I've already got Dr. Glenys.

I will shave my head and pretend I have chemotherapy.

Maybe I do have cancer. You never know. I never got my lump on my testicle tested or checked.

So unfair. I can't even get cancer for real to save my dying channel.

Can't even find anyone to kill.

Your teeth bleeding was blood cancer. Maybe I have mouth cancer.

Maybe that's a symptom of HIV, oral bleeding.

So I found this spatula, metal spatula, in the kitchen, and it's kind of rounded, the handle. And I slipped that up my bum hole and I filmed it, and I sold the video for $25 each. Guess how many people purchased it on OnlyFans? Nearly 30 people bought it.

That's insane.

I should charge more. I should charge like 40.

I don't understand why you haven't had COVID-19. Yeah, me too. Did a lot of traveling, went on a lot of trams and trains. I think it doesn't even exist. I don't know a single person who got it.

Did I like it? Not really. It felt weird having something up your bum.

It just feels unnatural when you're pushing something up there because usually stuff comes out, doesn't go in.

Do I play with viewers? Yeah, I could do if someone really wanted to. My username is 1F F, J, F, F, O, J, G, K,

L. I'm not sure if that's an L or an I. I think it's an L. Maybe I already had COVID-19, I didn't even realize.

OnlyFans makes so much more money than YouTube does. I make on average about $60 to $80 a video on YouTube,

and I make at least $200 per video on OnlyFans. And that's just from about 20 people watching it.

20 people watching an OnlyFans video makes more money than 15,000 people watching a YouTube video. That's just messed up.

How long are you gonna stream for? Until I get a bloody donation. By this rate, I don't think I'll be

getting any.

Got someone here.

I can't see the stupid jumping person.

People ask me what kind of content do I want to make. I just want to play Fortnite

really and chat shit on livestreams.

I don't really want to make anything really.

If I could make any kind of video, what would I make?

Um, I guess making videos jacking off is quite fun.

Maybe I don't even want to make videos. Maybe I just want to make porn. That would be good. You get to have sex and make money.

My 2 favorite things in the world: having sex and making money and eating food. If I could do all of that at the same time, I would be living the dream.

Living the dream.

I'm getting shot at. Who's shooting me? Stop shooting me.

I can't even see where they are.

What? None of those hit? How is that even possible?

Run, run!

Oh no, I'm gonna die,

gonna die!

Oh, I'm not gonna die. Did I just kill everyone all by myself?

Wow, I really am God's gift to gaming.

I killed all of them. Did you see that?

I'm unstoppable.

I'm kind of struggling to think of a video, my next video for OnlyFans. I already fingered myself, jerked off, used a sex doll, wore women's underwear. The only thing left to do really is get a dildo.

And fuck myself with it. But then after I've done that, what do I do next?

How's the merch store going? No one buys my merch. I had 4 sales in the entire month.

And people keep saying, oh, you should do something with your art. And then I do something and no one gives a shit.

Hate when people say, oh, you should do something with your art. And then when I do, no one cares.

Like when I did that illustrated video of my granddad, didn't even get 10K views.

People keep telling me to do stuff that doesn't work and then they call me stupid.

Oh, there's 3 of them here and what the hell, 2-shot killed me.

My art never makes money. I tried doing a bunch of illustrated videos after I did the I Need to Change video. Worst views ever.

I stole one video from that dickhead Matthias Pilheed. It was called Why I'm Scared of Girls, and I stole another one called I Used to Be a Weeb.

Barely got 20K.

I didn't even steal his video, I just copied the first 20 seconds of his

script, but the rest of it was a made-up story of my own based on some true events.

And I did all the drawing and artwork by myself. People still accused me of stealing it, and Matthias Fathead came over to my channel, made a comment saying, please stop stealing my content. Fuck you, pillhead. You're lucky I didn't make a video on you. And destroyed your YouTube career.

How's it stealing if I just copied the first 20 seconds?

As if he invented the English language. I can use whatever combination of words I want to without his permission. I didn't steal his story. You go to a channel called Matthias Pilheed or Pilhead He's some Swedish weeb guy who makes these illustrated stickmen videos, and I copied one— no, I copied 2. One was called I Used to

Be a Weeb, and that was completely original, my story. I just copied his title. And the other one was I Used to Be Afraid of Girls, and okay, I copied his beginning intro word for word, but it was just like the beginning 20 seconds. And then I had my own original story that was kind of similar to

his but not exactly the same.

So how can you call that stealing?

My whole team died in the first 10 seconds. Oh goodness me.

Why do I play squads? Because I feel lonely if I play solo. I like having people to play with.

Stupid Matthias Pillhead gets hundreds of thousands of views on his boring, ugly stickmen videos, and I put hard work and effort into making good artwork for my videos, and they don't even get more than 30 or 20k. Bloody outrage.

His stickmen look like something a 2-year-old would draw. On their wall,

and my artwork looks like graphic novel manga level stuff.

Why don't you follow what's trendy on YouTube? What is trendy on YouTube? I don't even watch YouTube.

There was Leafy getting banned on Twitch and YouTube.

There was

Uh, Dr Disrespect's getting banned.

There was— I don't know,

there were people attacking ImAlexx. I just don't care,

it was just a bunch of idiots.

Do you want to see my armpit hair?

That's my armpit hair.

I think I could do a— I could fake my death. That'd be funny.

How could I fake my death? I could make a video and it's just black with text saying, unfortunately, Daniel has passed away. He would like— we would like to thank everyone for watching his videos.

But then what would I do for videos afterwards?

Or I could do a fake I'm quitting YouTube video and then pretend I'm selling it to someone and then just pay someone to do the voiceover for my new videos so it's like someone new. I mean, it doesn't matter, does it, at this point? The channel's fucking dead anyway. People aren't going to be like, oh, this isn't

Daniel.

And then I'll just carry on doing YouTube on my second channel.

No, I don't think the channel is that dead yet. I mean, I'm still getting between 10 to 15K views. I'm talking about when my channel gets down to 2K views per video. I'm just going to go, fuck this. Let's go crazy. I'll get cancer, I'll get HIV,

I'll get a sex change. Why not? Got nothing to lose

if the channel's dead.

You might call me a liar, but you know, I'm always authentic and true to my real fans. And the real fans, you'll be the guys who stick around even after the shit has hit the fan.

I did a Twitch stream today actually, and 40 people watched. I was quite impressed.

No, I don't want to die at the beginning. Fuck you. No, no, dying at the beginning is for noobs. Ah,

where's my team?

My Twitch is Daniel H I M R. I forgot my password. I had to log back in, but then I forgot I switched my phone for the 2-factor authentication, so I had to get that reset.

Big fat banana.

Whoa, whoa! Oh, that's my team member. I thought it was an enemy and I died again.

Look at this big fat banana.

How does friendly fire work? Well, there is no friendly fire, which is good because it's a game played by a bunch of 6-year-olds and they'd just be shooting each other the whole time. I hate friendly fire in Rainbow Six.

I go AFK in the beginning because I just want to do shooting, not mess around with drones. So I got AFK in the beginning waiting for the match to start, and I get some idiot in my face shooting me. And I say, why shoot me? And you say, you're AFK. Obviously I'm not AFK if I'm asking you

why did you shoot me.

What's the point of shooting me just because I'm AFK in the beginning? How's that gonna help us win the game if I'm dead. At least if I'm AFK, I could not be AFK and join in, come back and help out. No, people got no brains.

So what video should I make next?

I was thinking about starting some beef with that black guy Jonathan. Who reported my video, but I don't really have much to say.

Or I could debate why I left— the real reason why I left my wife— and then people can be all like, you didn't leave her, she left you.

And they'll be like, she's lucky she got away from you.

Whoa, did you see that? I just turned around, shot him.

Yeah, I might go with the why I left my wife video because I don't think I really talked about the trigger that triggered the divorce in detail.

Could just put Fortnite gameplay, do a voiceover. I don't think showing my face would really get more views.

I don't really think showing my face gets— makes much difference in getting views. And my video about why I hate Germany was just a voiceover, and that got good

views. One of my highest viewed videos has no face, the one about Pia.

That was just me playing piano, fake playing piano.

People thought I was actually playing the piano. Oh my God, it was so obvious that I wasn't playing it. All the key— keystrokes were out of sync with the actual music.

People were saying, wow, Daniel, didn't know you could play piano.

Daniel, you're like 28. No, I'm 31, gonna be 32 in March.

We all know you're going back to Japan. Hmm, I have thought about it,

and I could get a cat and a puppy. Maybe I can get views again.

And then people can be all like, oh no, Daniel's gonna kill the puppy, people should call social services.

I could trigger people.

How do you kill this? It seems to be invincible.

Oh, you have to shoot these yellow things on the side.

Why is it not doing anything? Oh, it's exploding.

Why won't it

die? I'm out of ammo.

How'd you kill it?

Is it even possible?

Oh, I don't even care anymore.

I don't care.

I've got one desktop PC back home in England, but it's really outdated. I built it in 2015. It's got a Core i5. And a GTX 1060, 16GB of RAM,

but it still works really well. I still played Rainbow Six on Ultra, still streamed without any problems. Lasted me for a good long while.

There's 2 main reasons that interests me in going back to Japan. Number one, it would be— could revive my channel, could bring back the viewers. And number two, the rent is really cheap.

Europe is nice, but it's really expensive if you want to live in a city. You can live in a city in Japan For barely anything.

Yeah, I could go to some cheap crappy European country like Poland or Czech Republic, but are they nice to live in? They look kind of shit.

I don't want to live in a Communist housing block.

I would like to live near the beach, and then I could walk by the beach, play in the sea. That'd be fun.

Live out the rest of my days in a nice little apartment with my gaming PC, couple of kittens.

I wonder when I'm gonna die.

I hope life gets a little bit more exciting before I die. It's just a bit dull right now. I don't know what to do to make it more interesting. I could get a puppy.

Right now I'm starting to think about getting a pet, but it's kind of difficult.

I could do streams playing with my puppy.

Get a car, learn how to drive. Hmm, when I was at the beach, I did think it'd be nice if we had a car and I could drive her back home.

You know, put some nice things in the car, fluffy towel to dry ourselves, some snacks, listen to music, drive back home,

do some shopping. It feels like you're proper adults if you have a car, I guess. Oh,

it's just so much work though. Learning to drive.

I think the problem is they put you straight on the roads even when you first start learning to drive. They should have like a big open field where they say, here's the car, here's a field, um, just get used to the control system so you get used to how to drive. But no, they put you on a

really narrow road straight on your first day.

And they just handhold you through everything. They tell you everything to do, so it makes you feel like you know how to drive. But then when they stop telling you how to drive and you're left alone,

then you don't know how to do it anymore. That's the problem I had. My instructor was like, keep turning, keep turning, keep turning. Now look here, now press the clutch, now change gears. And I was just following what he was telling me to do. But then when he was gone and I was doing my exam, I had

no idea what to do. I did everything wrong.

I could only drive when he was telling me everything I should be doing.

Learning doesn't work like that. You have to figure things out by yourself. I, I think

they should have a big field and then they just let you drive around in the field so you understand how everything works.

Having to check all the mirrors all the time is confusing as well.

Do I ever talk to Sayaka? No, she blocked me. Last time I tried to message her was about 4 years ago and she blocked me. Stupid bitch.

Her kid must be 6 or 7 now. I'm hungry, I want lunch.

Things were so much easier when I had a wife to make my food for me.

I made a big pan of chili con carne yesterday, and I've got some leftover pasta. I could heat that up. And I've got some ramen, and I've got bacon and mushrooms in the fridge, so I need to eat everything up before I leave.

Give me a gun.

Oh, the Pro Controller is so nice. It's like a proper controller.

Oh, I'm being shot at. So this is what I do. This works sometimes. You can use the petrol can as a bomb.

Oh no, I'm out of bullets! I took him out with the melee weapon. Did you see that? Took out an entire squad all by myself, and people think I'm the loser.

Imagine getting soloed by a big fat red chicken.

I think I've changed my mind about the Microsoft Surface Duo. You know that new phone Microsoft released with the 2 screens? Doesn't look very good. People say it's glitchy, and it's basically just like having 2 phones side by side. Why don't you just buy 2 cheap phones and get some sellotape and then tape them together so they

flip.

It's pretty much the same thing.

It's just like using 2 phones at the same time. So you'd have 2 apps open at the same time, but would you really be using 2 at the same time all the time?

So I changed my mind about getting it. If I was going to spend that much money, I'd rather get a laptop.

Yeah, I could make a video how to make your own DIY Surface Duo and then just buy 2 cheap phones, get some sellotape, tape them together. That'd be pretty funny.

My gaming laptop, I left it in Japan when I left my wife

because I didn't want to be carrying loads of stuff and I was trying to get rid of my Rainbow Six addiction.

I don't know why you say there's too many foreigners in Tokyo. Well, I was just trolling for the video. I don't really think there's too many foreigners, and I don't really care if there are foreigners.

I don't talk to anyone anyway.

The whole video I was just trolling,

trying to trigger those people who like Japan.

How did you learn Japanese despite the fact you are lazy? Because I was motivated by ladies.

Because at the time I was really obsessed with the idea of having a cute Japanese anime girlfriend. I thought that would make me happy. Maybe it would have if it ever came true, but I never came close. Closest I came was this Fat ugly Japanese girl

who ended up blocking me on social media.

I bet you anything she has a white boyfriend now. She just seems the type to not be able to get a Japanese boyfriend.

Maybe this is not a good idea. No, that was not a good idea. How did they kill me so quickly? They got multiple headshots, I think.

What am I doing today? Well, I'll probably stream a couple hours more until my battery dies. I've got 44% battery, so I can stream another 2 hours, I think. And then I'll make a video, I guess, since I didn't make anything from this stream. I was hoping I'd make a little bit off this stream so I wouldn't

have to make a video.

Oh, I really can't be fucked to make a video.

Uh,

what am I gonna make?

How about why I hate Aki dearest? She's so fat. No, not allowed to body shame people. She broke my heart. She said she was gonna sex with me, but then the anime man stole her,

and she only chose him because he's got more subs.

Why I hate Aki dearest.

Why I Hate Chris Broad has 100,000 views. Maybe that's a good way to take the channel.

I still think it's weird though. Joey is a good-looking guy, confident, charismatic, makes good money, lives in Japan. He could have got a cute Japanese porn star girlfriend, but he chose Aki dearest. Hmm, I guess they do have a lot of things in common since they're both anime geeks.

I don't know, for me personally, I would have taken a cute Japanese girl even if we had nothing in common,

and then I'd complain about how boring she is on live streams.

I just feel like he could have done a lot better,

but whatever floats his boat, I guess.

At this range with the shotgun, what is the point?

Oh, did you see that? One-shot kill.

Oh, another one.

1-1-1.

Uh-oh, execution.

Oh, I love it when they're bending over and you just shotgun them in the back of the head like that. So satisfying.

Who's doing that?

Oh, oh, look at them trying to crawl away. As if I'm gonna let you get away.

Oh, did you see that banana man?

How many are there here?

Oh, there's so many. I killed like 6 in a row.

I'll kill you.

See how many subs I lost since I did this stream.

So I started off the stream with 482 subscribers. Who wants to bet how many I lost?

I reckon it drops down to 444. So it's currently 106,482. That was before I started the stream. So if I refresh, what do you think it is now? I reckon it's gonna be 106,444.

Okay, place your bets. I am refreshing now.

Oh, 478! Not bad, not bad. Back in the day, I would stream and I'd lose like 100 subs.

I guess all the stupid people fucked off finally. I only lost 4 subs this stream.

I'm impressed.

4 gay boys unsubbed.

Either you've been cooking in your girlfriend's apartment all this time, or you were never in an Airbnb and have been staying with your girlfriend this whole time because it looks like the same place as your Airbnb after looking a little closer.

Yeah, well, maybe it's just a similar kitchen.

Mr. Inspector Gadget.

Maybe some kitchens have the same appliances.

Oh, do you know what I noticed recently? You know that English YouTuber Marcus Butler? He deleted all his videos and now his fans are whining about it. That is hilarious. Such a power play, such a power move. He's just like Fuck you, fans, I'm deleting everything.

I noticed he tried to make a bit of a comeback, but his new videos was— were just terrible, and they weren't even getting 20K views. And then he just wipes the whole channel out. So funny. Oh,

I wish I could do that, you know, like a big massive middle finger. To everyone who hated you.

But unfortunately, I did not make a couple million from my YouTube career.

I guess fans would have this sense of betrayal. Like, they get invested in YouTubers, they get emotionally attached, they feel relatable, they feel like they're their friends,

and then they're slapped in the face with the harsh reality of the fact that YouTubers don't give a shit and they're just making videos because they want to make money, and they do that pandering bullshit. To make you like them.

And no, they don't love you, and they don't think about you, and they don't care about you. They're just making money using their good looks and their likability. And then fans fall for it like a sucker, and they get all butthurt when they realize that

he doesn't care about us, he just cares about ad revenue.

I know these things because I am a YouTuber. That's why I don't lie and pander. I tell it is, I tell you it is how it is. How the fuck do you form that sentence? I tell you how it is as it is. I can't even English.

Okay, I've got full shields, full weapons, full HP, ready to go.

I'll tell you, I is Like it is, mate.

I am starting to get bored of this game, I have to be honest. When I first got back into it, I played it all day non-stop. It was so much fun, and now I'm just starting to feel like, why am I playing this? It's not even that fun.

But then what would I do if I wasn't playing it?

Well, I should be looking for a new Airbnb. Because I'm only staying in the boat for 2 nights and then I need to find a new place.

So I could do a my girlfriend kicked me out video, couldn't I?

I could just say, oh, she was upset because I showed her panties, but I thought she'd be okay with it, but she wasn't. She said get out because she didn't trust me in her bedroom anymore.

And she said no more sex.

Or I could do, I walked out on my bitch girlfriend.

Which one? I could walk out on my bitch girlfriend, or I could do she kicked me out,

and then we do a smooth transition into the boat house, and I can say I'm living in the boat now until she lets me back.

Lets me come back,

and then I can do ramen for Cooking with Daniel. Hello, welcome back to a new episode of Cooking with Daniel, today we're making my own homemade version of ramen. It involves bacon and mushrooms.

Yeah, I could do my girlfriend kicked me out, sad face, in the next video. Moving in to my $5,000 a month luxury yacht. That's quite good.

Moving into my luxury yacht,

and I could do like a boat tour.

Hmm, let me think. Is it too soon to do it? Getting kicked video because I just moved in in the last one.

So I could do one filler to pad things out and then kicked out, and then luxury yacht— I mean, luxury yacht video can be the third one. I think it'd be kind of strange if I moved in and then get kicked out straight away.

Yeah, I could do a typical day in my life because I already filmed some footage when I was at the beach. And playing pool. So I've got 2 minutes of B-roll, and then I could do 8 minutes of just doing weird stuff in the apartment. So this is a typical day in my life. And the next one

can be all caps: I got kicked out! My girlfriend kicked me out of the apartment. But how would I do that?

How would I do it though?

Uh, it's hard to rant about something that didn't actually happen.

Um.

Ideally, I would like to pack my bags and then storm out whilst filming it,

but I don't know, because then it kind of gives away the fact that I'm not in Germany.

I stole his truck. He got out and I stole it. That's funny. Oh, but he stole my supercar. Oh, you little bitch.

Ah, he's better at shotting than I am.

What? Oh, but didn't expect that, did you? I'm out of bullets.

I know he's hiding in a bush. I could throw him off the edge of this. Yeah, fuck off. Oh, that actually killed him. Wasn't expecting that.

I threw him off a cliff.

That's

brutal. Ah,

my girlfriend kicked me out, but I need a good reason why she kicked me out.

Yeah, I could say

that she was not happy that I showed her underwear, and

seems like a weak reason though.

And then I could do next video moving into my luxury Yacht, $500 a night luxury yacht.

Say she wasn't happy with using her cooking stuff for OnlyFans. Yeah, that's good. Oh, and then I could plug my OnlyFans as well. You get a gold star.

So I could do— yeah, I could show you the, um, spatula that I put up my bum hole, and I could say she was disgusted that I put this up my bum hole for my OnlyFans. She's— I could say she's been supportive of it, but she wasn't happy with me using her kitchen utensils.

And I said, I can't believe she's so annoying. She knows I do OnlyFans. How could she do this? What a bitch. And I could do like fake packing my bag.

And then next video, first night in my luxury yacht. This is good. Wish you write it down, but I don't have a piece of paper.

What's the name of this game? It is Fortnite. Fortnite on the Switch Lite.

Okay, so think about this. We're gonna do a 3-part series. First part will be typical day in my life.

Ah, I can't really clickbait that, can I?

I could do a day in my amazing life and I could trigger those hate watchers who say stuff like, oh, you don't have an amazing life, you make minimum wage showing your butthole.

Trigger those people saying my— boasting about my amazing life.

Oh, I could get some ketchup and rub it into the mattress and then say it was her period. Now that's going too far.

Remember when I made the Turkish girl bleed and I took a photo of the blood stain on the mattress and I posted it on Discord? Oh, those were the days. I just didn't give a fuck back then. I can't believe I did that. That's such a mean thing to do.

Literally posted a picture of her bloodstain on the mattress. No wonder she was angry.

And then I called her fat and ugly.

Come on, it's funny. How do people get angry at it? That's the thing, they're happy to laugh at my expense. When something bad is happening to me, but when I make a funny at the expense of a girl, they will get all enraged, turn into simp mode white knights.

Oh, Danny, you're so horrible.

It's called a joke. A joke is always made at someone's expense.

Jumping people. No, no, no, I can't aim.

Oh, what's that on his back? I thought it was a second person. Oh my fucking God, who blew me up?

No, the best jokes are when it's taking the piss out of someone and making someone feel bad. Otherwise, what's the point?

You're not good at jokes. Oh, fuck off. You're always making videos about me,

and my jokes are funny to me.

Because they make people angry. I make the jokes to entertain myself,

and when people get angry, I do find it entertaining.

If they're only funny to you, they're not funny. Well, I'm the only person who it has to be funny to, because I'm the most important person in the world.

If it's not funny to me, then it's meaningless.

I have the best jokes on my channel. No channel makes me laugh harder than my own.

Look, I can blow this up, pick this guy up, throw her into the fire. This game is sadistic.

Look, and now she's burning.

Oh, don't kill me!

I jumped into the dumpster.

Oh, fuck off, Rainbow. Go make more stupid videos in front of the mirror, loser. Stop putting my name in your titles.

It's so annoying when people put my name in the video title. Some— there's always some stupid ugly fat person doing it. My thoughts on hiding in my room. No one gives a shit.

My mum sent me a link to some stupid fat ugly American guy who made a video about me, and she was like, Daniel, who's this? And I said, how the fuck should I know? Some loser on the internet who has an opinion about me.

It was some fat middle-aged American guy. He was sitting in the dark with a flashlight shining on his face. Looks so stupid.

It's so annoying when I woke up and I get all these people telling me about some random person who made a video about me. Unless you're really big like Elvis the Alien, I really couldn't care less.

The only big people who made videos about me was Elvis Alien, and I think that was it. The rest of them was just a bunch of nobodies.

I

can't find a gun. I can't find a gun anywhere.

What? Iron Man is fighting people? Why is Iron Man there? Oh, he's blowing me up.

Let's see if I can escape. Can I escape? He's in my car. He got in the car next to me and shot me. That's cheating.

Would I do members-only chat again? I don't think so because there's not enough people and then the chat just becomes kind of dead.

The people who make those videos about me are always weird. Oh, there's some weird Russian guy called Crazy Russian Guy 86 or something who used to make videos about me. Looked like a complete weirdo. But all the people who made videos about me, like that Revenge Star girl,

all weird. Not a single normal person.

I guess Alizy is pretty

normal. Eazy, Elvis, and

Join In. Yeah, Join In is pretty normal, but the rest of them are like a bunch of cringy weirdos,

which probably describes my main demographic.

No offense to you guys, I'm sure you're all perfectly fine people.

The funny thing is, I bet the haters are a bunch of cringy weirdos as well, but they talk so much shit as if they're better than me.

I bet they aren't. I bet they're really weird with mental problems. I just can't imagine them as normal, successful, nice people. Probably a bunch of maniacs.

Whoa,

scared me. I hate it when you knock them down and then for about 2 seconds they're invincible and they don't take damage. Why? If I knock them down, I want to shoot them in the head straight away. Not have to wait 2 seconds.

Where'd he go?

Whoa! Oh, oh, behind the hedge!

Oh, sexy legs.

Oh yes, sit on me, baby.

No, come back. Look at that sexy girl. I like her.

Why are they running like that? They look like bots, don't they? Are they actual people? They look like bots.

They're all running in the same direction in a line.

I do enjoy a nice pair of buttocks. I hated it when I couldn't even express my love for buttocks without Chihiro getting upset.

Every time she would come home and then she would hit me because I was talking about how much I love big butts.

What is that song? Goes— it's

really catchy.

Yeah, my Switch is nearly dead, and then I'm going to stop playing, and then I'll make lunch, and then I'll go make my clickbait video,

and then I got to make something for the second channel. Oh my God, I just can't be fucked anymore.

What should I make? How about why I hate Aki Dearest. She's stupid bitch

because she smells like onions.

She gets more views than me and she's a woman. How dare she?

No! Oh, I killed him with a grenade.

I'm gonna kidnap her, take her down to my rape dungeon. Put her in the bathtub like this. Yeah, get in the bathtub, bitch.

Now you're gonna get bummed by me with my feathery chicken.

Stay in the bathtub, woman. Gonna get some lotion.

She's actually staying in there. Playing along with the roleplay. I've got some cabbage.

Have some cabbage.

Eat it.

Oh, whoops, I killed her by accident. I didn't mean to, I just wanted to hit her on the head.

If you have a sandwich factory job, why do you do YouTube? Because I want more money so I can get myself a Predator Triton 900. GTX 2080 with a, um, 17-inch articulating display. Something you couldn't afford. No, I don't want to die.

No, I don't want to die. I don't want to die.

I don't want to die.

I just can't be fucked anymore.

I wish I could just pay someone to make my videos for me. Who wants to make $20? Just make me a video about any random shit. I'll put it onto the channel, see if it gets views.

What if it gets more views than my normal videos? That'd be embarrassing.

You can pay people on Fiverr to do stuff like voice acting and editing and scripting. And I thought about paying someone to write me a script, but then I couldn't even think of a video topic I would pay someone to make. What would I make?

Why Akidearest is the worst YouTuber. I could pay someone to make a script, then I could call the video I paid someone to make a roast video on Akidearest.

Dearest. No, it might be really bad.

Have you done Draw My Life? Yes, it's called Drawing My Sad Life. Did pretty well, did 42,000 views.

But it didn't make much money because it got demonetized because I talked about bullying. If you talk about bullying, even if you have the word bullying in the title, you'll get demonetized. So stupid. I want to monetize my traumatic childhood experiences. What is wrong with that?

Oh no, my phone has 20% battery

and I didn't even get one donation. Unbelievable.

Save me, save me.

Oh.

So what What— whose stream has better production quality, mine or Dr Disrespect?

There is audio. How come you can't hear it?

I think this will be the last game and then I'll make lunch.

What should I make? I could make ramen

and then I could have chili for dinner.

Chili con carne.

I need to rehearse my script. I could pick up the spatula and I could say I found this spatula and I thought it'd be a good item to use on my OnlyFans. And then my girlfriend found out and she was angry. She said, Daniel, don't ever use my kitchen things for OnlyFans. That's disgusting. And then she told

me to leave because she couldn't trust me to be in the home by myself anymore. So I'm moving out. I think that's a pretty good story.

In the next video, moving into my luxury lot— I mean yacht.

What else could I add?

Is that enough drama

for you?

Yesterday I watched a movie about a rich man and his grandson got kidnapped and they wanted $17 million, but he didn't want to pay because he's an idiot, and then they cut his grandson's ear off. It's disgusting.

And then he changed his mind and he paid, and then they got the grandson back. It was quite good. I rate it 4 out of 10.

But why cut off his ear? Just cut off a finger.

And then it made me a bit worried. What if someone kidnaps me and ransoms me to my mum?

Oh, fuck this game.

Let's make lunch.

Ah, I

got some leftover poppadoms.

I did some tidying up. Let me see what's in the frigerino. I've got 19% battery, don't know if it's long enough. I got some Mexican-style

chorizo bacon.

What should I make? Oh, my bacon is on the floor.

Um, I don't know what to make.

Sandwich. Got some cheese.

Bacon, mushroom, and cheese sandwich.

Oh no, my chili is in the frying pan so I can't fry it. How am I gonna cook it then? I can cook it in this grill.

Yeah,

and I can use the chorizo bacon. Yeah, genius. Strikes again at the speed of light.

Oh, fucking finally! Thank you for the $2 Super Chat,

LNA. Oh wow, hard work for $2.

I had to stream for 2 hours.

What

am I doing?

$1 per hour. Yeah, uh, remember the days when people just threw money at me for doing nothing? I'd get at least $400 every stream.

That was when people liked you, Daniel.

I noticed one person who donated a lot, he betrayed me and went over to the Hong Kong guys channel, and I saw him commenting there. He's called Darkside Layman, that cunt. He used to give me a lot of donations, and then I saw him talking shit about me on the Hong Kong guys' videos.

That toothless little bitch.

Oh wow, thank you, homeless man. I'm cool, you're all broke, I like my hot dogs.

Thank you, now I can actually pay for my meal.

I made— oh wow, I got another one! Ha! Thank you very much, Madara.

I won't twerk, but I will make you mushroom and bacon sandwich. I'll show you how using my new technique.

I didn't get a good tripod. I should get a bigger one.

Now I've made £8 in 2 hours.

Not complaining.

So you want to get your mushrooms.

This might be easier with scissors.

Put

one here.

I can't use Streamlabs on my phone anymore because I need to be able to set the stream to public, but it's automatically set to unlisted, and you can only change it to public on the web browser version of the channel management page, and I can't use it on my phone because I don't have Flash.

And I don't think it's worth spending over $1,000 on a laptop just so I could use Streamlabs.

Oh, thank you, LNA. Will I ever go to Thailand? Could do sometime in the future.

I'm not really that interested in Thailand. I'd rather go to

Japan. Yeah, I could get a cheap $100 laptop, but if I'm going to buy a laptop, I want to get a nice one

so I can at least play games on it.

Okay, so we've got the mushrooms in place.

Now for the bacon.

Can you see them?

Now we get the bacon.

Looking good. Plug in my grill. What the hell?

There,

look at this bacon. You can't get this kind of bacon in Japan. That is good bacon. And then we just close it.

Get some pieces of bread.

Some cheese.

Put the cheese bread into the oven.

Oh, I have to clean the oven as well before I leave.

So annoying.

Okay, so the cheesy toast is toasting.

Oh no, the mushrooms are getting stuck to the top.

Should be fine.

Looking good.

No, guys, I'm in Germany.

See this tea? They only have it in Germany.

Oh, you want proof, do you? Well, look at this. I have this authentic German newspaper.

See, it's German. Masken kaufen is German.

Okay, I think the bacon and mushrooms are done.

Maybe a bit too overdone.

Check the toast.

What? Nothing's happening.

Oh, the oven is so slow.

Oh, the oil's dripping. Why does it drip onto this table?

Oh, look at that crispy bacon,

juicy mushrooms.

Juicy mushrooms,

it is so juicy

like your pussy.

And so tasty.

Look at that.

I can use the bacon grease as anal lube. It'll be tasty. Imagine you had a starving African kid and you said, if you want to eat, then you have to lick off this base bacon grease off my rim hole. What would he do?

What would you do?

Mushrooms is quite tasty.

I have to wait for the toast now. Oh, we can cut the mush— I mean, the tomato.

People were complaining because I used a bread knife to cut my tomatoes. It's actually easier than slicing it with normal knife.

Did I clean the bacon grease? No, guess I should. Well, I can let it dry and then make a candle out of bacon fat.

Sounds good.

Making a bacon fat candle for my girlfriend. Better than Jun, gay boy Jun, with his

lavender-scented petal handmade lip cream. Just buy it off Amazon, you loser.

He actually went and picked petals, dried them, and then crushed them into powder to make lipstick when you can just buy it in the shop. What a loser.

Look at this English fry-up. We've got bacon, tomato, mushrooms. Now waiting for the toast.

Uh, what else do I need to do?

What camera do I use? I use my Samsung S10 Plus camera.

Professional gear. Why do I use the sandwich cooker for that stuff? Because my chili con carne is in the frying pan and I can't use it now.

How do you cook mushrooms? You just put them onto a hot metal surface.

How's my new place? It's pretty good,

very spacious.

Pretty nice.

Oh, look how crispy this bacon is.

Look at that.

Oh

wow,

that's real bacon.

Oh, uh, the cheese has melted but the bread has not toasted,

and a mosquito bit my shoulder. It's itchy.

Problem is I don't have any eggs, so it's not really a proper fry-up without eggs, but I've got some poppadoms.

I would like to put on a shirt, it's getting a bit chilly.

And cherry con

carne.

Do you like my dance?

Fine, I'll do it again.

I can't do it, seriously.

That's why haters are scared of me doing my moves.

The karate chop to their neck. They won't even know it's coming.

Okay, I think that's enough with the bread. Take out those cheese toasties and place it on the plate.

Oh yes, look at them!

Oh

yes,

oh yes!

Nice.

Very nice.

Very nice.

Put in the tripod ear. Ow, bloody walnuts! And I'll show you how to arrange your English fry-up.

Okay, you want to get the bacon pieces on first.

Show me the love

tonight.

Oh, look at that.

Don't you just want to sink your face into a wind?

Oh

yeah. Oh,

okay,

I'm gonna go in for a bite with this one.

Wow,

holy shit, I'm good at cooking. Oh, Jesus.

So I can taste the chorizo air-dried bacon with the melted cheese and the tanginess of the tomato.

It's like a different combination of textures.

Oh my God, so fucking good.

This has got to be the best lunch.

I didn't realize the bread was going to be so toasted. I thought it'd just be a little bit hard.

But the crunchiness— hmm, okay, we'll prepare the second piece,

but it's missing something.

I feel like I need a coffee with this meal.

Without a coffee, it's just not— I don't know, it doesn't feel right.

So I'll show you how I make my coffee.

First, we want 2 sugar cubes.

Tea? No, I want— I think coffee is better.

So we take off the lid to coffee,

pour some of that in.

That should be enough.

Okay, we go over to the water cooking station.

Good, good, good.

It's okay if the cup's not clean because it's just coffee from this morning.

There's no point cleaning it if you're just going to put coffee straight back into it after you've cleaned it.

Give me the love.

Wow, mosquito bites are really swelling up.

We're gonna go And my coffee.

What happened to Daniel's old community? I don't know. Where the fuck did everyone go? Cesium's still here. Ollie and Ben, they're still here. And shit, Dropped by earlier. I'm pretty sure Pia might still be around.

Don't know about all those people who used to donate to me, you know, like

there's like a group of people who always donated every time. They've just vanished. I feel sad.

Oh look, here is here.

Huh, either she's been here all along or she coincidentally came when I mentioned her.

Oh yeah, D Junior, I remember you. I think I upset you with my comments about Hong Kong, my harsh comments about Hong Kong.

Okay, we're nearly ready. The coffee will enhance the experience of lunch.

Okay, let me see if I've made it properly.

Hmm, not my worst coffee, I guess. It's not bad.

Okay, this might be trickier to eat.

Hmm. Hmm.

It actually tastes more like those frazzle crisps instead of real bacon.

This reminds me of the good old days.

Sitting in my Japanese apartment cooking weird stuff.

Oh, my coffee mug says golf, violating the rules of fashion for one— no, for 300 years.

This has to be the best cheese toastie I've ever had. I think the bacon is like a special bacon.

It's been air dried and then it has chorizo flavoring on it.

Hmm. Oh no, I ate it all. There's no bacon on this one.

You should smoke some hash. I don't think I smoked hash, but I did have some weed and I got high and it was weird.

It was like I was floating. It was like I was dreaming, but I knew I was awake. And I was trying to snap out of it by shaking my head, but I couldn't.

And I had this massive boner the whole time.

And even after I jerked off, it just became hard again nearly straight away. And I was just horny the whole time. It's weird.

No, I didn't like it. It was horrible. I'll never do it again, but I thought it'd be nice to experience what it's like being high.

Should have had a girlfriend nearby. Well, to tell the truth, I didn't jerk off. She was with me, and it was the weirdest sex ever. It felt insanely better and good compared to usual, but I was— I felt like I was falling asleep whilst doing it. It was so weird. I thought I fell asleep during sex, but

then I came round again and I was still like humping, so obviously I was awake. My body was awake and moving, but my mind was like I was dreaming. It was so strange.

And the feeling in my penis was different compared to how it usually is. Usually it feels good, but this time it felt like it was tingly. I don't know how to describe it.

It felt less sensitive, so I could go at it harder and longer than usual without cumming. Because usually I find it difficult to not cum, so I have to slow down and be less aggressive, or else I'll accidentally cum.

I'm not sure if it was good. It was weird and different.

But I felt like I could keep on going without any fear of accidentally coming.

Hmm.

I liked the sexual part of it, but I didn't like the whole feeling like I was dreaming part of it. That was weird.

It was like I couldn't tell the difference between dreaming and reality. Even though I knew it was reality, I felt like I was in a dream.

Very strange.

Very weird. I don't think I'd do drugs again. I just don't like the feeling of losing control of my mind. It's scary. I like to be in control.

Maybe I took too much. Maybe it was too much all at once.

Maybe I should have, um, had a bit less

and it wouldn't have been so intense.

But it was an interesting experience, I guess.

Where's my tissue?

How's life, Daniel? Hmm, it's okay, I guess.

Not too bad.

I feel like my life is more balanced than it was earlier this year.

Korea was pretty— a pretty depressing episode. When I was in Korea, I felt so miserable every day.

It's just a bit of a depressing place. Everywhere looks gloomy

and gray.

And for some reason, I felt scared of the people. I felt like Korean people were intimidating and scary,

like they would bite your face off if you upset them.

Even going shopping for food was kind of stressful.

Oh wow, thank you, Sir Maya, for the $4.99. I was unprepared for fame, then everyone knew my name. No more lonely nights. It It's All for You. So that song—

and I don't usually dance, just when I'm having good food I like to have a bit of a spasm.

I don't think I'd go to Korea again by myself. It was just kind of a sad and lonely experience. Maybe with a partner it would be a different experience.

I went on a few dates, but I still felt lonely.

So that's enough orange. I'm full up now

and I feel tired.

What to do?

What should I do with my day?

My day.

Could play a bit more Fortnite, maybe.

I might light some candles. Would you like that?

Would you like It's if I sucked your sausage.

Wow, I feel like I'm in such a better mood now. Jesus, what was that? You know what I really want to figure out in life is how do I snap out of those negative moods into a good mood without having to just wait? Isn't there something I can do?

Oh, ignition!

Uh,

excuse me.

I don't know what happened. Like an hour ago I was feeling so shit, and now I feel pretty good. Is it because I had bacon? Oh.

Whoa, whoa,

we've got candles. We shall summon the summoning ritual.

Oh yeah, I think it was the bacon and coffee.

Should I melt my Switch?

Oh. Whoa, it's going black!

Oh, it smells.

Why didn't they put a kickstand on the Switch Lite? That would have been great. I wish I didn't sell my original Switch now.

Oh, you know what I want to buy? I want to buy like a, a bracket thing that attaches to the controller and holds the Switch above it. That'd be so nice.

The candles would be nicer if it was darker.

Yeah, I was so stupid. I don't know why I sold it. I sold it because there weren't any games at the time that I was interested in playing.

And I felt like I'd rather have the money.

And it was a nice Switch, it had sentimental value to it.

Me and my dad— my dad helped me, um, attach those white Joy-Con housing things I had, and I sold it. How could I?

I bought this game recently, Resident Evil Zero, but I was too scared to play it, so I turned it off.

It, it's kind of hard finding good games on it because there's just so many cheap, rubbish, crappy looking games, and they don't have a very good chart system that shows you the top good games.

I'm not sure which big titles came out recently. There's XCOM 2. That's a pretty, pretty big game. But I'm not really into XCOM anymore. I used to be really into XCOM 1 and I played lots, but I don't really feel like it anymore.

That

scared me. Where's my candle?

I can't use it as a stand like this.

Keeps falling and then you can't see the candles. Oh no,

the coffee cup is not heavy enough.

Ouch, it's really hot above the candle flame.

Okay, that kind of works. Put the candle here.

Yeah, not bad.

Oh no, it's moving on top of the candle.

Fucking hell, why did they put the charging thing at the bottom?

And how hard would it have been to put like a little stand thing at the back just so it could stand upright?

Oh, this makes me want to get a proper gaming setup so badly

with a big screen,

mouse and keyboard.

A naming gap top.

If you have a Switch and you don't know what to play, I recommend Fortnite and Mortal Kombat if you like online competitive games.

Mortal Kombat's quite fun.

I'll show you how to build a house on Fortnite. First, we collect some bricks because I don't want to make a house out of metal or wood. That'd be weird and ugly.

That skin is trash. Excuse me, do you want to get banned? I paid £16 for this rare premium skin.

Okay, I'm gonna make my house. Where should I make it?

First we destroy this house. First we destroy this perfectly good-looking functional house to make a crappier version.

But at least it's made by me, so it's original.

Okay, I think a nice place would be

on this hill. Look, we've got a nice view of the mountains and the sea.

Yes, I shall build here. Oh wait, I don't know how to switch.

Materials. Oh, you press left on the D-pad. Okay, so I've got bricks here. We will lay down a floor and then we'll put some walls.

Um, we need a door. Put a door here, some windows.

Okay, we've got windows. Now we need a roof. I shall make the roof out of wood

like this. Uh, we need to make a staircase,

so a staircase can be like this.

I'm not sure how to make a staircase.

Is this guy still married? No, that was ages ago. Where have you been?

Wait, how do I— oh,

it's the wrong way around.

I don't understand.

It makes a ramp like this, but I don't want a ramp. I want a staircase.

Oh well, anyway, it doesn't matter.

So this is the second floor,

but I've run out of brick.

I will build

Foundations here and here, but I've run out of brick and this house is nearly gone.

Maybe I should play in creative mode. And then recreate my family home because now I'm stuck in the Shroud. Oh no,

I'm gonna die if I don't leave my house. Well, that was a waste of time.

Oh well.

Daniel, I don't know how you can still play Fortnite. I can't even look at it without feeling mental fatigue, but it's a colorful, good-looking game. What's wrong with Fortnite?

Makes me feel less depressed and sad.

Ah,

ouch!

Oh, I could just do this, put the tripod down.

Yeah, that's quite a good idea.

Optimum gaming performance.

Bet Doxy Disrespects is jealous of my stream production

quality.

Oh no,

they're shooting me. How was meeting Elvis the Alien? Oh, he's so sly. He acts all friendly and nice, and then he stabs you in the back when he makes his video.

And then he said my wife deserves better than me. Can you believe that?

What's wrong with me?

Look, this is dumb. You can teleport into the sky using that blue thing, and then the car falls, and when it lands, it doesn't even take any damage.

So dumb.

My favorite things to do is to get the truck and then switch to the passenger seat and then just camp out inside of the truck sniping people, and they don't even realize that I'm sniping them from inside the truck. And as soon as they come near, I hide. Inside of the truck. It's pretty funny.

Oh, my teammate killed someone. Good job.

Show you how to get in it.

I'm a lonely puppy.

Uh-oh, too many enemies and I'm dead.

What? They shot me in a moving car? How did they do that?

If I made a video called Helping Homeless People, I'd still get hundreds of dislikes because people are stupid

and gay. I could do a video called Donating All My Money to Charity and I'd get 100 dislikes.

It's 2020. Daniel is in another girl's apartment. We are watching him play. You guys. Yeah, not much changes.

Daniel's character's legs looks like his real legs. Yeah, they do look like chicken legs.

There's someone in the water. Let's kill him.

The hell?

Oh, look at her sexy ass in that spandex.

Can't

aim. Blew him up.

I wish I could play music, but I might get in trouble with copyright.

Hmm, maybe it's not a good idea.

Do

you

like my candles?

Look at this gaming machine.

Premium high-quality gaming content right here on the channel.

Oh, I hate it in Fortnite when you can't find anyone to fight. And just drive round in circles, and then you can't find anyone.

Maybe in this little town.

Oh, I found someone.

Kill him.

I killed him.

Someone's in here. His footsteps.

No fucking woman!

Killed by a woman!

Unbelievable.

Oh

no, women not allowed to play Fortnite. It's a man's game.

Only real men can play Fortnite.

I have to say, it's quite impressive that this game is free to play and you get so much content,

so many different game modes. It's got such a big detailed map.

I think there's worse games than this that you actually have to pay for, and this is free.

Who's doing that?

Who's doing that?

Stop shooting me,

I'm running away at the speed of light. Did you see me run away?

Oh, oh no, no, don't ever try to kill me.

If I hide up here, should be safe,

should be safe here. Wow, that was intense.

There's so much action in this house.

How many are down there? Oh my God.

Shot 2 of them, but not enough to kill them.

Hey, maybe I can do a video called How to Get a Job in Japan.

That sounds like something people would be interested in if they want to go to Japan. And then I can talk about how I got my job at the convenience store, and I can recommend the app I used, and then how to write a CV. Get your Japanese friend to write it for you.

But it has to be serious. No trolling, Daniel. Do your job properly.

Must provide proper information. How to get a job in Japan.

Oh, I need paper so I can write down these ideas.

I'll find some paper in a minute. I miss the days when I used to brainstorm my ideas.

How to get a job in Japan. And I can wear my shirt and my tie.

It can be like this. Hello, welcome back to a new video. So today we're going to be talking about how to get a job in Japan

as a foreigner, or, or, or,

and then I can say

The most important thing about getting a job is what kind of job do you want?

First, you must find out—

oh, this is going to be such a good video.

What was that sound?

Driving in my truck.

I feel like this is not the best way to stream gameplay.

Why can't I find anyone to kill?

So annoying.

Just like my haters in real life, too scared to confront me face to face.

Bunch of pansies.

Who saw Chris Broad's new video? Another video about sushi. Someone's running out of ideas. His videos are always about sushi or wagyu beef or a love hotel.

You type in Chris Broad sushi and about 100 videos show up.

The most expensive sushi. How to run a sushi restaurant. $3 million sushi.

And then I make meaningful, insightful commentary and people don't even want to watch. I'd rather watch Chris talk about sushi for the 100th millionth time.

I talked about Chinese massage parlors. How come that doesn't go viral? It's more interesting than sushi.

My Fortnite name is 1FJFFOJGKL.

I made a video about Hotel— Love Hotel. It has 8,000 views after nearly 2 weeks. 100,000 people subbed to me and I can't even get more than 10K views. Unbelievable.

Unbelievable.

Oh, there's no one to fight. Fight me, you cowards.

Oh my God,

how

is this even possible? Not a single person to fight.

Oh, maybe I'll just go AFK here.

Go AFK.

AFK. Oh,

I see activity.

Let's get in, boys.

Try not to put my hand over the candle.

Did you see that dramatic entry?

Oh, come on, aim!

Yes,

that's what I'm talking about!

And I got the AR Expert achievement. Only pro players can get that.

Destroyed them. Oh, there's more people here.

Where they be?

No one here.

Why? Good night, Princess Vanessa.

Have a sweet dream about me.

Oh, I give up. I can't find anyone.

There's 10 people left. I might be able to win.

Oh, I'm so tired. I want to go to bed, but it's only about 5 PM.

Looking forward to having a bath and going to sleep.

Oh, they're shooting! Someone's shooting over here.

Oh, over here!

Oh, I got him!

Oh no, there's 2 of them. Hey,

did you see those skills?

I'll kill them

with my bare hands.

Can't get a single shot.

Uh-oh, it is 2 versus 1. I died. Ah, I'll

get my stand.

Blow my candle out since you can't see them.

Near,

far, wherever you are,

I believe in You

near,

far, wherever you are, I'm bored.

Do

you like my singing?

Nice landing.

Nee,

pa. Wherever you are.

I thought that was quite good singing.

High quality gaming content with Singing.

I believe. In your mother,

she's so

fat and stupid.

We built this city.

We built this city on rock and roll.

We built this city,

we built this city.

Oh, didn't even see me coming.

Oh. You're dead, you're dead,

you're dead!

Oh, you're dead too!

I kind of built a freaking wall.

Oh, I just soloed everyone!

Did you see those skills?

Now I'm gonna die.

I've got 12 HP. Can I make it out alive?

There's one person chasing me.

If I can bomb him with the boat, I might have a chance.

Oh, I got him as well,

and a health kit I shall take.

I just killed 9 people— no, 5 people in a row.

I am so good at this game.

I can't believe my skills.

I killed 5 people in a row. I'm invincible.

Unstoppable.

Can you see the love tonight?

It is in the sky.

Everyone's got shields, but they still can't bring me down.

They don't have my skills.

They don't have my skills. Reload faster, you Stupid idiot.

Uh-oh. Oh no,

it's about to kill them all.

Can you see the Lord?

Maybe I should do singing videos.

Oh, I'm so bored.

Why is life so boring?

Tuesday and Wednesday will be the same as Monday, but I will not stream. I will make an entertaining video for my loving YouTube audience.

I want to make a video called Saying Goodbye, and it's just 10 minutes of me saying goodbye like this. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. For 10 minutes, or just 10 seconds, and then I loop it over

and I can do a clickbait title. Called Saying Goodbye. Technically it's not clickbait because in the video I do say goodbye.

My next video will be Saying Hello. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.

I can give you 50% off discount on my OnlyFans if you would like.

I will give free access to female viewers only.

Have I showered yet? Yes, I have, and I brushed my teeth, shaved my chin.

Do I hate John Daub? Well, yeah, I do. How did you know? But I don't usually talk about him because I found out he quit his Only in Japan channel, and they're actually auditioning for a new host. Should I audition? Hey guys, I'm Daniel. I love Japan.

Please hire me to be the next presenter on Only in Japan. Better than a fraud in Japan.

More like a fraud in Japan.

John Daub does— he does mostly live streaming now, doing what I used to do, walking around the streets of Japan in the middle of the night live streaming. Just copied me. I did it better though, because I would talk about sex and Japanese girls.

I miss when YouTube was like my thing. And people in the real world didn't mess with me. Like, I could just say anything I wanted to on YouTube, and it was like my little secret personal private thing. And then my family started watching, and then my bloody wife started watching.

Why can't people just leave me alone?

It was found back in 2017 when I lived at the guest house. And then I just go on streams and then walk around in Japan at night talking about my Tinder dates, talking about annoying people at the guest house. Didn't have my stupid family watching, didn't have weirdos messaging people I knew. The good old days.

So in the Netflix series called Sick Note, the main character, he has all these problems in life, and then he'd play this online shooting game and he'd be chatting to this American guy, and he'd just be telling this guy on the game all, all of his problems. Kind of like how I rant on YouTube. And then one

day the American guy just shows up at his house and tries to ruin his life. That's like exactly what happened to me with my channel and the weird stalkers who are obsessed with me.

You think it's safe to start ranting about all your problems, and then they just appear in real life. And then start ruining everything.

And I'm not dead. Wow, I actually survived that fall.

Incredible.

No.

Oh, I died straight at the beginning.

When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city

to see a Marching by,

he said one day.

I can make Carrie B moderator again. She seems nice.

Oh, I watched a movie. It was a Korean movie about a guy and he's stuck in his apartment and everyone outside turns into zombies, and then he's got a little drone, and then there's a Korean girl in the apartment opposite. And they try and escape.

And then there was this older Korean guy who saves them, but then he drugs them and he ties them up using these wrist straps. And then he takes the girl into the bedroom and then rapes her over and over. I mean, no, that's not what happened. That's what happened in my mind, but what actually happened was

something less interesting. So his wife turns into a zombie and he's keeping his zombie wife chained up. He wants to feed the cute Korean woman to his wife instead of banging her, and it doesn't make any sense. Why don't you feed the guy to your wife and then chain up the cute girl and bang her?

That's what I'd do.

How about you?

I mean, why would you not if you're living in a world where there's no law? You can do whatever you want to. And you've got a cute Korean girl tied up in your bedroom, and he wants to feed her to his zombie wife when he could be banging her.

And then don't give me all that, oh, maybe because he's not a bad person. He tried feeding her to his zombie wife. If I had to choose between getting banged or being fed alive to a zombie, I'd rather be banged.

What's more sick, raping someone or feeding them to a zombie?

Isn't it weird sexual things are more despicable than murder and being eaten alive?

Because if I had to choose I would say getting eaten alive is way worse.

How about you?

Well, at least he didn't do what they did on Platform. In the Platform movie, there's 2 people stuck on each level in the prison. And then a platform of food goes down, and then the older guy ties down the younger guy and was about to start peeling off his flesh to eat. And he needed to keep him

alive so the flesh wouldn't rot, so he had him tied down to the bed and he was gonna peel off strips of his flesh

every day over the course of a month to keep him alive. To keep the meat fresh. But his plan was thwarted and didn't work out because a woman saved the young guy.

Why am I talking about this? I don't know. I had a point to make, but I forgot it when I was describing the movie.

Anyway, I think you get my point.

I

can't turn the radio off if I'm a passenger.

Oh, I hate these cars. You can't drive them because they've got this yellow clamp. Should be able to shoot it off.

Uh.