my life is getting worse everyday... [4cbFYCywIjM]

Testing,

testing.

Hello,

hello, welcome back.

Okay, let's get the links.

As if it makes a difference.

Uh, copy link.

F3, 1.

Stupid keyboard.

Okay, we got a long 8 or 9 hours ahead of

us.

Do you like my new stream setup?

Oh, hi Blood Bucket.

Uh, I don't know, I feel okay, I guess.

I would rate my mood at

6.2 out of 10.

No, I'd rate it.

Yeah, like a 6 out of 10.

Slightly above not too bad.

I got myself a new monitor, which is why

the camera is up so high because the

monitor is so big.

The monitor is like this big and that

high, that high up.

So it's kind of in the way of where I

usually put the camera.

I think this looks fine.

Oh my god, why didn't I buy a monitor

earlier?

I've wasted a lot of money this year on

stuff, but this monitor has been the best

thing I've bought, I think, the entire

year, probably.

It's so nice having a big monitor.

And it was only $140 or something cheap.

It was the cheapest one in the shop.

I'm not using the ROG Ally.

This thing seems like a waste of money

now.

People were saying the audio was not good

last stream, and then I checked it and

yeah, the audio was very quiet and also

sounded weird,

but no one said anything during the

stream.

It was only until after the stream ended I

got comments saying the audio was bad.

The audio is fine now, isn't it?

I'm on the laptop again,

so I don't know why the audio was messed

up.

It should have been the same as this

because it was the same settings.

Should be fine now.

So now I don't know what to do with this.

I played some Lies of P on it.

It's okay for that.

But apart from that, I don't really know

what else to do with this.

It was supposed to become my new main

computer, but I ended up going back to the

laptop because it just seems better in

every way.

Who would have thought a $2,000 gaming

laptop is better than a $700 ROG Ally?

Oh well, wasted my money again.

What's new?

I've been here in Thailand for a whole

year and I only just got a monitor.

Why didn't I get one earlier?

Because I didn't know what was going to

happen, if I was going to be here for long

or if I was going to be in Japan or if I'd

get a visa.

I don't know.

So I didn't really want to buy a big item

even though it's cheap.

Are you gonna visit Japan again sometime?

I don't know.

I have to go back to the UK next year

after my visa ends because the visa ends

around the time my sister's getting

married, so it's kind of convenient.

I still got this damn cough and my ribs

hurt now from all the coughing.

They hurt here.

Like earlier this year before I went to

Japan, it was starting to hurt.

The ribs hurting is an indication that

it's nearing coming to an end.

About a month, maybe 5 or 6 weeks is how

long the cough usually lasts.

I don't know why it lasts so long.

Is it normal to be coughing so much?

It is getting slightly better.

I feel like I'm coughing less.

It just takes such a long time.

It doesn't just suddenly heal.

It gets better slowly, day by day.

Resolution of the monitor?

I don't know.

How'd you check?

I think it's like

1080p.

I think in settings you check display,

920 by 1080p,

120Hz.

My expensive monitor in the UK, which was

3 times the price of this, was

165Hz, but I think it was like 2440p.

I don't know, it looks the same though.

It looks fine, it looks great.

I don't really notice it.

I don't really feel like it's rubbish even

though it was the cheapest.

It's a curved 27-inch monitor from Acer.

It's the cheapest one in the shop, only

5,000 baht.

I'm pretty pleased with it.

Do I have lipstick on?

No.

Why do my lips look red?

I'm looking kind of pale because I don't

go outside anymore.

I haven't been to school in 2 weeks.

I don't know if I'm supposed to keep going

now.

Level 1 finished.

I didn't go for the last day.

So level 2, I guess, started on Friday.

Now I'm not sure if I want to go.

I'm so far behind now.

I haven't been for 2 weeks.

I don't know what they're talking about

anymore.

5,000 baht is like £120, so it's like

$140.

My face is getting very pale.

I feel like my hands are still brown from

when I was cycling in Japan.

Do you remember my hands were all brown

but my fingers were white?

Also, my legs are still brown from when I

was cycling.

And when I roll up my trousers, it's weird

how long it lasts.

I got so, so sunburned in Japan.

I wasn't expecting that

because it does get very sunny,

but it doesn't really feel hot.

But the sunlight is intense and then you

get burned.

I can't wait for this cough to go.

It's the most annoying thing ever.

It is so disruptive, especially when

you're trying to sleep.

I keep waking up in the middle of the

night coughing.

I didn't stream yesterday because

I noticed Diablo 4 Season 2 came out and

it was kind of trending again.

So I made some videos, but they all

flopped.

So I think I wasted my entire day

yesterday.

I should have just streamed,

but I felt like it was worth a try.

Oh, thanks, Jenkins.

For the membership.

20 months, wow, that's almost 2 years.

I don't know why my cough lasts so long.

Someone said something about toxic mold in

the air conditioning.

Maybe they have a point.

It does smell kind of weird.

Maybe that's what my skin problems and

like coughing stuff is because of the air

conditioning.

And in the UK, we don't use air

conditioning, so I didn't have these

problems.

You gotta take out that filter thing.

It's probably covered in dust and stuff

and breathing it in.

Don't you need to go for your visa?

I don't know, it's only 1 month.

I've already been going for 3 months.

I'll ask my girlfriend to phone them to

see if I still have to go.

I don't really want to go.

The only reason I wanted to go was because

I saw some Japanese people and I wanted to

talk to them, but I don't think I am.

I'm too scared.

And the British girl talked to me a few

times, but apart from the British girl, no

one talks to me, so it's boring.

I don't see anyone in the class who I want

to talk to apart from the British girl and

the Japanese people, but they're not in my

class, they're in a different class.

Everyone else is boring.

There's a Russian guy, he's nice but he's

boring, and then there's this Taiwanese

woman.

She's also boring.

And then there's a German girl or woman.

She's pretty boring.

They're all boring.

There's a Myanmar girl.

She's cute, but she never talks.

Oh, thanks, Jenkins.

I don't even know how to take the filter

out.

And then there's a Belarusian woman.

She's very chatty, but she's not really my

kind of person.

She seems like a dog person.

I like people who are like cat people.

I don't really like dog people.

I don't really seem to click with dog

people.

So everyone in the class is boring.

The Myanmar girl is— she looks cute, but I

don't know what her face looks like, but

she never talks.

But during the break, she stares at her

phone the whole time.

So because everyone in the class is

boring, I don't really feel like going

anymore.

The first level 1 was really fun because

there were all these Americans and they

were funny.

There was that American Dan guy, he was

funny.

And then there was that old 60-year-old

retired American real estate insurance

guy, he was really funny because he was

just— his pronunciation of Thai was so

bad.

It just made everyone laugh.

The class was just laughing all the time.

It's so full of laughs.

So I really enjoyed going.

And then level 2 was boring, and level 3

was even more boring because all the fun

people left after level 1.

And now level 4 is just like everyone's

boring.

Yeah, I like Americans.

They always liven up any social situation.

Is livened up when there's Americans.

Even in the guesthouse, it would be like a

bunch of Japanese people, a bunch of

Europeans, all boring, not really talking

much.

And then as soon as you throw in like 1 or

2 Americans, completely changes the entire

dynamic.

Although Americans can be annoying on the

internet, in real life they usually liven

up social situations.

Why are they so lively?

It's always Americans.

Japanese people are probably the most

boring because they just keep to

themselves and they don't talk much.

And when they do talk, it's like very

serious, like serious talk.

Apart from this one time this Japanese guy

made pudding in a massive bucket.

That was pretty funny.

Yeah, I miss the Americans.

They were fun.

I don't want to go to America.

It looks scary.

The thing I don't like about America, the

country, or well, the continent.

Well, I mean, United States, the country.

I don't like it because it's so big and so

wide and open and everything seems so like

flat and wide and open.

I don't like it.

It just seems weird for a country to be so

big.

How is everything just so big?

It's

weird.

Yeah, Australians also are quite lively,

but there's something about Australians I

don't like.

Like, they seem kind of shady and

degenerate, and they use the C-word too

much.

Americans have more of a wholesome

feeling.

I didn't even— I found out there's a new—

there's this other state that I never

heard of.

It's called Maine.

M-A-I-N-E.

I didn't even know that was America.

I think you know what I'm talking about.

I'm not gonna mention it because I'll get

In trouble.

I'm probably already demonetized anyway,

so whatever.

But it will go great if I, if I don't talk

about it.

It should go green again.

Did they catch the guy yet?

Oh my God, I wasn't coughing and then when

I started the stream I started coughing.

Oh yeah, I do start coughing more when I

turn the AC on.

I feel kind of guilty for not going to

school.

I feel bad, like I let the class down.

I feel like I abandoned them, like I just

ditched them, and then they're probably

thinking, oh, where's Daniel?

Yeah, well, maybe if they talked to me and

like exchanged contact details with me,

they'll be able to ask, but no one cared

about me, did they?

Idiots.

Think they're so good because they speak

Thai.

I don't even care anymore about Thai.

Completely lost interest.

Even if I wanted to go to school, I don't

think it would be a good idea because I'd

just be coughing the whole time.

And then people would be scared I'm

spreading my you-know-what in the class.

And it was really hard to talk because my

voice was all weird sounding.

And then recently I keep getting a sore

throat in the morning.

Yeah, it's gone now.

But then when I wake up in the morning, I

got a sore throat again.

Any countries you want to go to next year?

I don't know.

Thinking about Japan, but I don't know

what to do in Japan.

If I go again, I don't want to do what I

did when I went there last time, just

endlessly cycling around all day long.

That was so boring.

But I really wanted to do a subathon and I

didn't know what else to do.

It was either just sit in the apartment

all day or cycle.

I thought cycling would be fun because

then we could see the sights, avoid

getting stream sniped, as if anyone cares

about stream sniping me anymore.

I mean, even when I was getting like 800,

1,000 viewers back in 2018, I never got

stream sniped,

did I?

Now back when I was popular Did I ever get

stream snipes?

I never did, even in Japan when I was

getting loads of viewers.

Even like drama times when I had 1,000

viewers, I never got stream sniped,

which I'm glad because it'd be weird.

Yeah, I saw Matthew Perry passed away.

Apparently he D-R-O-W-N'd in his jacuzzi.

That was shocking.

But the guy seemed kind of miserable and

unhinged anyway.

He just seemed depressed all the time.

Oh, for God's sake, I can't even talk.

I found that if I try and control,

regulate my breathing,

I can stop the coughing.

But if I just keep coughing, it makes me

want to cough even more.

Yeah, he was only 54, but the guy seemed

kind of miserable.

Like, he didn't seem happy.

I guess all that money didn't really— all

that money doesn't really make you happy.

He had like drink and thingamajig

problems.

I feel dizzy now from the coughing.

The weird breathing has made me

lightheaded.

I need antibiotics.

Yeah, it's like a lung infection, I think.

I took zinc.

Didn't really do anything.

There was a season in Friends when

Chandler looked and sounded really weird,

like he couldn't speak very well and he

had this weird speech impediment, and he

was really skinny.

And I think that was when he was having

the problems with his addiction.

It's a shame.

Why is there like a lot of hate towards

Friends recently?

People were saying it was a rubbish show.

I used to love it.

It was on every day.

No, every Friday was the new episode.

Me and my family used to sit on the sofa

to watch the new episode.

It was 30 minutes and it would just go by

in like 30 seconds.

But now I think in today's society, people

are saying it's like racist or something

because there's no— because, oh, they're

all white.

And there was a Black woman, Charlie Ross

dated her.

People are saying it's racist and like, I

don't know,

misogynist or something.

I don't think it was.

Well, they had strong female independent

characters like Rachel became a career

woman.

If I turn the air conditioning off— I

think the air conditioning is making me

cough.

Did I start coughing more when I turned it

on?

Yeah, maybe I should look into that.

Let's see if I stop coughing now.

So today I'm gonna talk for a couple hours

and then we're gonna make some pie.

I think apple pie.

I got a new pie dish.

I'll show it to you later.

You know, I don't want to spoil the

excitement too early on.

I've been learning how to keep viewers

watching longer.

They say you need a hook and then you need

to like drag it out and then give them

what you promised you're going to give

them.

So I'm going to hook you with my pie dish

and then I'm going to say, I'm going to

show you my pie dish later.

Something you can get excited about.

Take it seriously.

Oh, thanks, irony.

Hi.

Yeah, I'll tell my girlfriend about it,

but then she's gonna call someone and then

someone's gonna come here.

She tried to call someone to fix something

and I told her to cancel it because I

didn't want some guy to come into the

apartment without her here.

Who was that?

What was it?

Oh, it was to fix the shower.

Do you remember when the shower wouldn't

make hot water?

I said, no, no, no, tell him not to come.

Tell him to come when you're here.

I said I don't want to deal with it.

If $120 million net worth can't make you

happy, then I

don't know what's gonna make you happy.

Having kids?

An attractive girlfriend.

Maybe relying on external things is not a

good way to seek happiness.

You know what's making me unhappy?

The fact that

2018 is over and I'll never have another

2018 again.

Best year of my life.

I'm like trying to desperately recreate

2018, but realizing that that's impossible

has made me fall into a depression

unlike no other.

What happened in 2018?

I blew up on YouTube and

I got a visa to live in Japan.

Long term.

It was the most magical, amazing year of

my life.

I don't know how to move on.

Move on to what?

I swear every day I'm just thinking, oh,

2018 was so good.

Everyone loved me.

I made good money.

I felt like, wow, everything I wanted in

my life, everything I wanted in life is

coming together.

2019 was the downfall.

I miss 2018 so much.

Like the feeling and the vibes and the

things that happened that all came

together at the same time.

It was like the perfect combination of

right time, right place.

I don't think you want more fame.

You just want more money.

I don't know.

I want—

I want to be able to make something that

is good.

I don't feel happy just doing like a

clickbait, getting 200K views, and then

everyone hates me.

I don't really feel— that doesn't make me

happy.

It makes me feel sad, actually.

So I wish I could make something that's

good that people would enjoy that also

makes money, but I don't know how to do

it.

I don't know what to do.

Like, what can I do that is good?

I don't know anything to be able to teach

people.

I don't have like a magic trick that's

really funny.

I've already talked about all my

experiences and stories a billion times.

So I don't know what to do, and I'm too

lazy to do anything that's difficult.

I think my recent cooking clips highlight

video was pretty good.

People enjoyed it.

I enjoyed it.

I just miss 2018 so much.

It's funny because when I was in 2018,

I wasn't really happy either.

Wasn't I just moaning all the time in

2018?

Like, oh, people don't watch my non-drama

videos.

I'm only getting 20K views.

Maybe stupid J-Hero got angry at me.

Wasn't I just whining the whole time back

then as well?

Oh, thank Thanks, Mud Bucket.

2018 was great, but we still love you, my

dearest son.

Don't forget that.

Thanks.

How was your 2018?

What were you doing?

I can't believe it was 5 years ago.

I want to find something I enjoy doing,

but I don't know.

I've been trying to find that.

For like 25 years and I still haven't

found it.

25?

No, 20 years.

No, like 15 years.

I'm not that old.

I'm not that old yet.

Ever since I was maybe 17, I've been

trying to find something that I enjoy and

that I'm good at, and I still haven't

found it.

What the hell?

Maybe I'll just never find it.

People were so mad at me in 2018

about the Black people thing and then the

cheating thing and then the Tomoko thing.

And then I don't know,

why is everyone just mad at me all the

time?

And then I got mad because my Malaysia

vlogs didn't do well, and then people got

mad because I was mad.

And now no one's mad about me about

anything, and it feels weird.

Because they don't care anymore, I guess.

Do I want people to be mad at me?

I don't know.

They just gave up, I guess.

I think people only get mad at someone

when they care about the person or they

want the person to be this person that

they

feel like they should be.

And then when they give up on someone,

they stop caring, don't they?

It's like when someone's in love with you,

they care about everything you say.

Take Chihiro, for example.

When she was in love with me, she was like

obsessing over everything I was saying to

make sure I wasn't saying mean things.

And now that we've divorced and it's been

3 years, she obviously doesn't love me

anymore.

And now I can say anything I want about

J-Ro and she doesn't care.

Like, she's not in my DMs saying, Daniel,

stop saying this.

I mean, at one point she was.

Even this year, she was still messaging my

mum to get me to shut up.

Like earlier this year.

Is that because she still loves me?

Remember I was saying— what was I saying?

Like, I found her new boyfriend and then

she was messaging my mum.

My mum was telling me to stop making

videos about her.

I don't know.

Unless she's just mad.

But then that means she still cares about

me.

I don't know.

I'm confused now.

Now my comments are just full of because

my Aburn preach video is getting views

now.

All I'm getting is oh this guy needs

therapy.

This guy is crazy blah blah blah blah.

The only time I get views is when I get

people to think I'm crazy.

Same old same old.

Debate the streamer Destiny.

It would be pretty funny because that guy

takes himself really seriously because

his, his credibility and his intelligence

is what his entire content revolves

around.

So he has to defend that.

So he like takes every debate really

seriously.

And I'm the opposite, where I don't care

about my credibility and I've got no

intelligence and I just say dumb stuff for

the sake of saying it.

It would be very infuriating for someone

like him to talk to someone like me.

I like what-if-isms.

Is that the phrase?

Like, what-if-ing.

What if?

I like doing what if or contrarian

topics,

but then people think I'm crazy because

they think I'm believing all this stuff.

I'm not very good at debating.

I get mad and then I just say, oh, fuck

you, whatever.

Become IRL streamer.

I tried that a couple months ago, it

didn't really work.

I don't know what to do, just walk around,

get a drink.

We went to a cafe yesterday, the Coca-Cola

cost 90 baht for a can of Coke.

You know, in 7-Eleven it costs 14 baht to

get a bottle of Coke.

90 baht?

That's 9 times more than you should have

paid.

I had really good fish and chips though.

We went to this fancy cafe, it's called

the Da Vin Cafe or something.

It's like a Roman architecture building,

like fake obviously, and it's got these

Roman statues inside,

and then they sell really expensive food.

I had fish and chips for 400 baht, which

is ¥1,600

or about $13.

In Western prices, it's pretty normal,

but in Thailand, it's freaking expensive.

It's like 8 times more than a regular Thai

meal.

But it was so good.

It was sea bass.

Battered chips were good.

I think I have a picture.

Ah, the picture's rubbish because the

lighting was bad.

So that was pretty expensive.

I asked someone on my Discord to tell me

how much Thai food costs in Japan.

They went to a Thai restaurant and he

showed me the menu.

I think the pad thai was like ¥1,000,

which is 250 baht, which is really

expensive for pad thai.

You go to a food court, you can get pad

thai for like 50 baht.

Which is ¥200.

So it seems like food is more expensive in

the country where it's not the local dish.

Who'd have thought it?

Japanese food is expensive in Thailand,

but Thai food is expensive in Japanland,

and Japanese food is cheap in Japan.

Wow.

So if you like Japanese food, maybe go to

Japan.

Thai food is the cheapest in Thailand,

but I don't like Thai food

apart from some of the noodles.

Noodle soups are okay.

Took me a long time to realize why is

Japanese food so expensive here compared

to in Japan.

It's like to nearly ¥1,000, just get a

normal bowl of ramen, which would be ¥400

in Japan.

Just like salty ramen, not fancy or

anything.

I went to the river in Japan, the one over

Osaka.

Which was only 2 stations away from her.

And I was there for a couple hours

watching the trains go over.

She might have been in one of the trains.

It's funny she didn't say anything or do

anything or even like join my stream and

comment.

Maybe she was scared I was going to show

up.

She did show up in the livestream after I

met Ice Poseidon, do you remember?

So it's not like she's completely

disappeared.

Not that I care.

In case my girlfriend's gonna see this,

she's gonna think I still love her or

something.

Do you think I even loved her in the first

place?

I don't know.

I don't know if I ever loved Chihiro.

Sometimes I liked her.

I felt like most of the time I just felt

annoyed because she was nagging me

and telling me off because I'm like trying

to make content and she's scolding me like

a child.

Jairo, that is, not my girlfriend.

Although recently I've been getting in

trouble

because— what did I get in trouble for?

Telling the ginger British girlfriend

story got me in trouble.

And, um,

yeah, I don't want to say the other thing.

A kind of similar problem that I had with

Mina.

Where it's not what I said that was the

thing that got me in trouble.

It was the things that other people said

based off of what I said that got me in

trouble.

So now I'm going to get in trouble for

talking about how I got in trouble by

talking about her.

Get in trouble for talking about talking

about her.

Oh my God, what can I talk about then?

I might get in trouble for this stream

title because she's gonna think that I

think my life is terrible.

It's not terrible.

It's okay, I guess.

It could be better.

I don't know if I'd say it's the best it's

ever been.

But then won't she get upset if I say

that?

Like, if I say 2018 was better than now,

would— would you get upset if your partner

said this year is not the best year of his

life?

And that some other year was better.

Yeah, maybe I shouldn't say that,

cuz then, then they'll be like, why isn't

this year the best year ever?

Oh, I saw Ben Dean's girlfriend.

He finally put her in the video.

I was surprised.

She's not bad looking.

She looks like an average Korean woman.

She's not like stunningly beautiful, but

better than 90% of my exes.

She's got like that black hair, Korean

look, clear skin, black eyes, normal-sized

nose.

I was surprised she was in the video.

Ben Dean is just— damn, he's doing well

with the British food.

Who would have known going to England and

eating British food would blow up his

channel again?

His channel was dying.

It was— he was getting like 30K views.

Now he's getting hundreds of thousands.

That's what I need.

I need like something new that catches on.

You just gotta keep trying, I guess.

Eventually you might find something.

I wonder how long he's going to stay in

the UK.

Maybe until he's finished trying every

food.

So I don't know if he's American or

Korean.

I think— didn't he, he change his

citizenship to Korean and then Ditched his

American citizenship.

So I think Koreans can stay in the UK for

a few months without a visa.

Do you like the girl group Perfume?

Yeah, I used to listen to them.

That Japanese pop group.

They had some good, good songs.

Very like robotic, futuristic sounding.

BenDeen copying Korean Englishman.

My Korean girlfriend used to watch them

back in 2011, and I swear they only had

like 200K subs, and now they've got like

10-15 million.

I watched them recently because David

Beckham was in a video.

Damn, David Beckham is looking good.

He's aged so well.

Like, his, his face shape hasn't changed.

It's gotten

like a bit more manlier looking, but his

face structure is still really good.

His hair looks great and he doesn't look

all like washed out and miserable.

They were eating Korean barbecue.

It looks pretty good.

That Korean Englishman guy, he's just—

he's got so much energy and happiness.

That guy could do anything on YouTube and

blow up.

It's not the content, it's the person

doing the content.

If you're like a miserable, boring person,

then obviously you're not going to get

anywhere.

Not just on YouTube, but in life in

general.

You gotta have the right attitude for

YouTube to work.

I don't think I have the right attitude

for anything in life.

I got the wrong attitude.

Do I have the play button?

Yeah, I got the silver play button at

home.

We might move apartments.

My girlfriend said she's bored of this one

and she wants somewhere more central.

I want to live in a place near a park.

Like a place near Jatujak Park would be

nice.

We could go walking.

I don't know if the park is open in the

evening though.

No, my channel's not blacklisted.

I got 17,000 views on my Aberyn Preach

video.

It's just

my audience has shrunk.

Before, if I'm— if I was making the

content I'm making now a couple of years

ago, it would have gotten like 20, 30K

views because I had an audience.

But I lost it and my content now doesn't

attract a new audience because it's too

niche.

It's too like random

and I don't know how to attract new

people.

And when I stream, I just lose people.

My subs were going up slowly,

I gained like 50, 50 new subs over the

last week, but then every time I stream, I

just lose them again.

They don't like all the moaning, I guess.

Yeah, I stopped coughing now.

I turned off the air conditioning.

Yeah, it has to be that then.

It definitely irritates my throat.

Do your old content.

Well, the old content didn't really

attract new people either.

It was just one video,

the Why I Have No Friends, that attracted

them in the first place.

But it was that one singular video that

got me my audience, and then I could never

replicate it.

So I was basically a one-trick pony.

It was No Friends and then Why I Hate

Living in Japan.

But that didn't really grow the channel

much.

I never really made content that was

attractive to a mainstream audience.

And every time a mainstream audience did

see my content, they just thought I was

like a weirdo who needs therapy, who's

like an incel or something.

Nice gaming setup.

Yeah, I really like my setup.

I got this big tripod, I got this thingy,

I got a monitor, big curved monitor,

27-inch.

Good thing I didn't get the 32-inch.

This 27-inch only just fits on my desk.

And I got this big long gaming mat

mousepad, which I never had before, but I

think it's really good because it makes

the desk look tidier.

I really like my gaming stuff and tech

stuff,

but I'm too broke to get good stuff now.

I want to get RTX 4090, Core i9, play Alan

Wake on ultra.

I might try Alan Wake too.

It looks boring though.

It doesn't look like my kind of game.

I don't like these psychological horror

thriller kind of stories.

I like my stories grounded in reality.

I don't like supernatural stuff, ghosts

and other dimensions.

I don't like that stuff.

It's just stupid.

I like Resident Evil because it's grounded

in some kind of logic where there's

zombies that exist because of science and

like science biological engineering that's

supposed to have some kind of logic to it,

not just, I don't know, magic phantoms

that come from voodoo land.

I think supernatural stuff is so boring

because it's so unbelievable.

So I don't think I'd like Alan Wake.

I didn't like Silent Hill or Half-Life.

I just play Rainbow Six.

I got all this nice gaming stuff just to

play Rainbow Six.

But it is really nice on the big screen

and play it on ultra because it's an

8-year-old game.

Obviously it runs on ultra 60.

Actually, I get like 100 FPS.

There's no game that can beat Rainbow Six

for replayability and it has this feeling

of coziness.

You know that level, the snowy mountain

chalet?

With the fireplace.

It's like a log cabin.

I love that level.

It's so cozy.

It's got the roaring fireplace, and then

you and your teammates are just setting up

traps and barricades and then hiding.

I really like hiding in the room with a

barricade and then setting some traps down

next to the fireplace.

It just makes me feel warm and fuzzy

inside.

I don't like being on the attacking team.

I like being on the defending team.

I like Capcan setting up the,

the explosives on the door frames.

At 34, do you feel old?

Yeah, kind of.

I see young people and I don't really feel

like I can relate anymore, even though I'm

as broke or probably even broker than they

are.

And I should be, I should be able to say,

okay, I'm older, but at least I'm

financially superior to you.

But I can't even say that.

Making like $800 a month now.

Out.

Literally 18-year-olds working at

McDonald's make more than I do.

I was hoping at this age I'd be at least

financially superior.

Not rich, but at least I would have found

a way to make decent money.

Also, I feel tired all the time.

Like I can't be bothered to do anything.

I just want to sit down, put on YouTube,

play some Rainbow Six.

I don't feel adventurous anymore.

I'm actually scared of adventure now.

Like that feeling of being plunged into

the unknown

makes me scared.

Not excited.

That's why I'm scared of Japan now.

It's just too much unknown,

too much

risk of not knowing what's going to

happen.

I guess that's what made the channel

boring because I don't want to do new

things anymore.

I just want a comfy home and just play

Rainbow Six.

Get yourself a younger girlfriend.

I don't know.

When I dated Mila, she made me feel really

old because she was 5 years younger than

me.

And all I want to do is be like an old man

and watch Netflix and get pizza.

And then she wanted to, I don't know,

hitchhike across Russia,

throw a disco night on a yacht.

She just kept saying all this stuff that I

didn't want to do at all.

Being with an older woman makes you feel

younger.

Being with a younger girl makes you feel

old.

You feel like you're their sugar daddy or

something, like you're looking after them

and you got to, like, put up with their

immaturity.

I don't think Mila paid for anything

either, because she didn't have any money.

She had like minus €800 in her bank

account.

She just had minus She would make a bit of

money doing like a part-time job and then

she would just spend it all

on rubbish.

She bought all this stuff to make a

YouTube channel.

She bought studio lighting.

You know those big studio lights with like

a diffuser and a lamp that goes around it

on a big stand?

She bought 2 of those and then she bought

a Samsung S10 Plus, same as mine, to make

vlogs, even though she already had a

phone.

And then she'll just sit there setting up

the lighting and then sitting in front of

the camera, but then not actually make

anything.

You used to average 200 viewers during

livestream.

Now you're down to 70 and lower.

Your channel will never be the same ever

again.

Oh, thanks, Chosen.

Yeah, don't need to tell me.

I know.

I don't get it.

Sora the Troll was streaming yesterday.

He still gets 500 views,

500 viewers, and he does the same thing

every year.

It's just like, oh look, I'm a cringy

Japanese guy who does

voice acting.

His gimmick has not changed over 6 years,

but he will still get 500, 600 viewers,

although his channel is dead again.

He blew up a month ago getting millions of

views, and now he's back down to 30K.

So it's like his core fan base is about

30K, and then occasionally he'll blow up

and then his views will be really good for

a month, and then they go back down again

to like the baseline.

Something I noticed happening on YouTube

is Channels die and they have a baseline

and then they blow up for a month or two

and then it would die down again.

It doesn't stay consistent.

Why is that?

That isn't how YouTube used to work.

It used to work like this.

You would grow a community and it would

get bigger and bigger.

You wouldn't just like pop virally and

then die off again and then pop again.

Back in the early 2010s, it would be like

a gradual growth like that.

You make fun of Deepak not getting views,

but he's actually a Kick partner, so they

got to pay him anyway.

You're the one that doesn't get views and

money.

What are you, Deepak's mom?

It sounds like Deepak's mom.

Can you hear the voice?

Indian woman.

Oh yeah.

RIP Deepak's mum.

Whoops.

I kind of shot myself in the foot by

saying what I said about his mum.

Uh, good way to get Ice to hate you in 20

seconds.

Although Ice messaged me saying no one

hates you, so I don't think he hates me.

But he seemed pretty upset because he

ended his stream, but you could still hear

him talking on Deepak's stream and he

sounded disappointed, like actually upset.

Not mad, but like sad that I said that.

And then I felt sad because it was like

someone being disappointed in you.

I don't know why I said that.

I

wonder how much Kick paid Deepak.