why I hate Genshin Impact - terrible game

Hello and welcome back to my game review

of— what's this game called?

Genshin Impact. So it is

a new game online.

Not really sure what it's about because I

haven't played it yet. Hopefully I can

play it straight away without too much

waiting. Took ages to download.

It was like 200 gigabytes or something to

download. Took hours and hours and hours,

and it's still downloading about a week

later. Hasn't even finished downloading.

So my current thoughts on the game are, I

guess it looks okay.

Doesn't look bad. Looks pretty

good.

Okay, I think it's finished downloading.

We can begin the game.

So what you're trying to say is that you

fell here from another world?

But when you wanted to leave and go on to

the next world,

your path looks like an anime. I quite

like the art style. There's a nice— I

think it's called cel shading effect.

Can't skip this stupid cutscene.

I don't know, it looks kind of lame.

Typical JRPG kind of stuff, flying through

the air, magic swords.

Select a twin. Should I be a girl or a

boy? I guess I'll be a boy. Enter your

name. Massive Fat

Face. Ah,

there you go. Massive Fat Face. Haha,

it's a good name.

Oh no, she's turning into a Rubik's Cube.

Why is it lagging?

Wow, it's freezing and stuttering.

Not a good start.

Music's getting a bit annoying. I don't

know how loud it is. It's completely

frozen.

Oh, I think it's working.

Okay, complete waste of time pointless

stupid cutscene is over. Some kind

of seal was cast upon. Hate it when games

take so long before you can actually play.

They force you to watch all of this

rubbish. World to world, we are now

trapped here.

And now they're gonna make me do some

stupid tutorial. Press the X

button to attack. As if I'm stupid enough

not to know how to play a game. It's like

that in VR games. They handhold you so

much in VR when it's pretty obvious. When

I started Echo VR, it took like half an

hour to finish the stupid tutorial, and it

was so obvious how to play. Play the game.

Don't need to teach me. I'm not stupid.

Until I met you two months ago.

Yeah, Paimon really owes you for that.

Otherwise, Paimon likely would have

drowned. You can use the B button to do a

boost. Now practice the boost.

Practice boosting by going over there. So

annoying. Just let me play the game. It's

not hard. Yeah, I get it. You press B to

boost. Stupid video games insulting

my intelligence. Okay, so we're in the

game. Wow, it looks quite good. Look at

this stupid tip: pinch in and out to

adjust camera distance. Oh, you don't say.

As if I couldn't figure that out by

myself. Use joystick to move.

Well, duh. It's like they think I've never

played a game in my entire life and I

don't know how to move using a joystick.

Stupid tutorials. Okay, so the water

effects look pretty good. I like the

little crabs swimming around. The sky

looks very nice.

Uh, the camera moves around a little bit.

Jittery. Yeah, it looks very nice. I give

it a 6 out of 10 for the

graphics. Combat feels pretty smooth.

It's kind of like a hack and slash. You

just spam the attack button. Until things

die. It's a bit stupid when he jumps.

Look at the sword on his back. The sword

on his back kind of floats there.

So I don't get it, is this an MMO or is it

single player?

It does look really good for a mobile

game. The path ends

here. Guess we'll just have to climb. Oh,

it's like Zelda. You can climb climbing

depletes stamina, and depleted stamina

takes time to recover. Okay. It does feel

very Zelda-ish. Zelda-ry. A statue

of the seven. Which of the seven are you

looking for exactly?

Oh look, you can cut down the bushes and

trees.

Can you cut down the tree?

It's moving,

but I don't think you can chop it down.

Another cutscene.

So pretty. There are a few among

the— I'll take you to the animal garden.

As we all know, poetry and— so I

guess I have to do quests.

Getting kind of bored already.

What does it want me to do?

That's a statue of the Seven. There are a

few of these statues scattered among the

set. Paimon, shut up.

Shut up, woman. As we

all know, poetry and language flow like

the wind. There'll definitely be someone

there who knows about your sister. At

least that's what Paimon thinks. Whether

the gods actually answer you is a

different story.

Oh, I got a berry.

That's berry good. See, this is another

reason why I shouldn't get the iPhone. I

can't do this on the iPhone. You can

screen record on the iPhone, but it won't

record your voice at the same time.

So I'd have to record my voice separately

and then transfer the audio onto the

iPhone and screen record it and then edit

it. Samsung's screen recorder

feature is much better.

This game's so boring.

I thought it was an MMO. This looks like

a Pretty bland JRPG,

Zelda Final Fantasy wannabe.

What do I do?

Ooh! Seems like as much as they may want

it, people in this world can never—

Uh-huh! If— if we keep heading west,

Mondstadt, Sopor, there are all— Let's

move! The element— I

guess it does look pretty good.

Combat is pretty smooth.

Why did it teleport me back here?

It's kind of stupid.

He's setting himself on fire.

These are the animal powers you got from

the Statue of the Seven. Oh, Paimon's so

jealous. Why doesn't Paimon get cool

fighting power?

Probably won't play this anymore

afterwards.

Just don't really find it interesting.

Never really been into these kind of

games. More of a shooter strategy game.

Although this does

look like Zelda now. They look

just like the things in Zelda.

Well,

I think that's it. I don't really have

anything else to say.