why Rocket League on Switch SUCKS

Hello and welcome to my game review of

Rocket League.

This is my first time playing this game

and I've seen quite a lot of other

YouTubers playing this, so I thought I'd

give it a try since it's free right now on

the Nintendo Shop.

Kind of looks like football but with cars.

Oh, this is a cutscene. I thought I was

gonna play. Great. So first of all,

they're forcing you to watch a stupid

cutscene. Am I playing? Oh yeah,

I am playing. So it's interesting because,

um, there's no menu screen. Usually

there's a stupid menu screen. Oh,

it's not actually letting me play. It's

like some kind of tutorial. Oh, I hate it

when they force you to play tutorials.

I think all games should let you skip the

tutorial because if you've got more than 2

brain cells, you should know that the

right trigger makes you go forwards and B

does something. It's not hard to just

guess what the buttons are.

Okay, so I have

to link my account.

Whoops, I declined the conditions. Yeah,

as if I'm gonna read all of that.

Okay, I think it's gonna start a match.

It's taken roughly two minutes to get into

my first game, so not too impressive.

See how this game plays.

Oh, the steering is weird. Usually when

you steer left and right in racing games,

it feels—I don't know. I guess it's

because I'm used to Mario Kart, and this

just feels weird when you're turning.

Okay, so I think we just lost.

Okay, this time I'll actually go for the

gigantic ball. How do

I jump? Was it B? Oh yeah, B you can do

like a flip. Oh,

you can do a double jump, so you can jump

once and then press it again, it does like

a boost. And then you can also do twists

and twirls in the air. In the air? In the

urr. So you can do like a somersault

like that. That's pretty fun.

What else can I do? Reverse.

Are these real players or they just

computer players?

Okay, you can drive up the wall.

Hmm, I don't know if I like it or not. It

looks good, it controls decently,

but it just feels kind of basic. Is this

the whole game? You just drive and you

chase after a big ball?

I think it would be good if there were

some weapons like machine guns or rocket

launchers that you could upgrade your car

Yeah, not off to a great start. Already 2

points down.

If this is the entire game, I don't think

it would be very entertaining for me to

Did I just score straight away? Oh wow. I

didn't know you could boost. I just

boosted straight into it and I scored.

Okay, I just did the same thing again.

So if you drive over these yellow spots,

you get a boost. All you have to do is

just boost straight into the ball and then

look, I've just scored again. Oh, nearly.

It just, it feels kind of repetitive. You

know, like the same thing over and over

again.

It's not that great. How come so many

people— why is this game so

popular? I don't understand.

I think after I finish this video, I'm

just going to delete the game. It's way

too simple for me. I like games that

involve strategy and complex

decision-making, like Darkest Dungeon or

Vainglory. Games where you level up and

you get gold and you can upgrade your

character. This just doesn't seem to have

any of the game mechanics that I find

enjoyable.

I don't even know if this is online. I

feel like it's not. Oh no, it says AI.

Nope. So maybe it'd be more fun if I

played online. I'll try and get an online

match going.

Okay, so we're going to play.

Play casual 4 versus 4. Okay,

let's see how long it takes

whilst I rest my hands. Beckwith Park.

You know what I'd love? I'd— you know that

TV show called Robot Wars? Used to be very

popular back in the '90s on TV in England.

And on Robot Wars, contestants would build

and design their own robot, and then

they'd fight each other's robots. And then

the robots had weapons like a flipper or

a razor blade, a spinning blade, or an axe

or pickaxe. Imagine if they made

an online version of that where you start

off with $1,000 and you go out and you buy

materials And then you have to find bits

and pieces to make a robot out of.

And then you take the robot into

competitions to win money. And then

with the money, you could use it to

upgrade your robot, to buy better parts.

And it should be really complex, not just,

you know, upgrade your robot with 10%

armor. No, it should be really complex and

you should have to go to a real markets

where they sell junk, and then you buy the

junk with the money you have, and then you

just add it to your robot, and then you

fight other people online, fight their

robots, and if you win,

um, you— like I said before, you win the

prize money, and if you lose, well, your

robot gets broken and then you have to fix

it. And then

if you run out of money to fix your robot,

I don't know, maybe you have to go and

work in McDonald's, do some odd jobs to

get some extra cash. That game would be so

great. I think I'd be great at designing

games.

They could call it Robot Wars.

Well, if anyone here is a game developer,

I give you permission to steal my idea.

Yeah, I feel like this game's just a

complete waste of time. It's not fun,

it's giving me a headache. You're just

driving after this stupid big ball the

I can't believe I nearly paid for this

game. Good thing I got it for free. Whew,

nearly wasted my money. You know what else

I wasted my money on recently? I got

Darkest Dungeon on the Switch, but then I

remembered I already had it on my iPad.

But now it doesn't work on my iPad anymore

because after they updated to iOS 14, uh,

the game keeps crashing. And the

developers still haven't fixed it, so I

can't play Darkest Dungeon anymore unless

I play it on the Switch.

I don't want to play it on the Switch

because the screen's so small.

Yeah, this game's boring. I don't get it.

Why do people like it?