Taking my wife shopping with my mum

Stupid mum had a big go at me because

there were some hairs in the sink. I

didn't know there were hairs in the sink.

I washed the sink. I didn't check the

entire sink. Where, where are the little

hairs? Okay, there's quite a

You see, the problem is even if you wash,

wash the hairs away, they get stuck to the

sink. So I didn't notice they were stuck

to the sink. I washed

the hair. Happy now? Thank you, Danny. I

love you very much. It was because

it was stuck to the sink. No, on top,

just tap that, that tiny, tiny hair.

Because at the end of the hair, it's

sticky. Take a tissue.

And I thought it rinsed down the sink,

but it was stuck to the sink. Not a big

deal. Nice to keep place clean. Don't have

to shout about it. Next person can use it

clean and nice. Yeah,

yeah. What the fuck?

It's not my fault. I didn't notice.

Yes, I'm waiting for you. Put your shoes

on. Hey Google, how old am I?

You are 40 years old. I'm not 40.

She said I'm 40 years old. Swell with

blood can help men with physical erection

problems maintain a healthy penis.

She just said, oh, me and Sabrina, before

you came, we did so much cleaning, and

then you just came here and messed it all

up. I didn't mess it up on purpose. Where

are we going? Designer outlet.

Uh-huh. Buy petrol. No, don't go to the

petrol station. There's nobody there.

They'll notice me. They'll recognize me.

No, they don't. That stupid Nepal guy is

still there. He's not there overnight.

Yeah, I think he's working day, day shift.

They don't let him. He'll see me. I said

a lot of bad things about him on YouTube.

I called him stupid. You saved eight

thousand, remember? This petrol station.

Don't drive too near to the shop. Use a

far away, far away pump. I used

to work here. Yeah. I used to go in and

out that door. Which door? Nine months.

This one here.

Look. Can you see who's there? I can't

see because the window's dark.

Used to be a Subway

here. Gone. And this used to be a— what

did it used to be? It used to be a spa.

Now it's M&S. Look inside.

What? Why'd you drive right next to the

window? I said drive— I said park at the

far away pump, not the one right next.

She looked at me. I don't know that woman.

Yeah, all new. How about here? She looked

at me right in the face. How about here?

I don't recognize that woman. She had a

ponytail. My son don't like me. When she

asked me, excuse me, you park wrong up,

wrong way around, I say it's my son say do

not park there.

Can you buy pot noodle? Mustn't play with

mobile phone when the petrol tank. So

Daniel, put away. No. Let it catch on

fire then. This is where I used to work

last year. Looks very different.

The Nepal guy still works here.

This is where I used to

work.ここで働いてたよ。知ってるよ。来たもん。 I

can't believe I used to stand here in this

stupid place for 8 hours every single

night for nearly a whole year.

What a nightmare.

Wrong way around. The car is another

way around. We're facing the wrong way.

Yeah, it says no, no exit, no entry.

We're going out the wrong way.

Yeah,

it's like your

father face. Look at his face.

Daniel, open the bloody thing!

I can't, I'm filming.

Oh, please open. Thank you.

You're not supposed to own your camera.

Why not? There's no such thing. It's

explosion. There's no explosion. Load of

rubbish. Now she's so upset.

Do you know his grandmother hit by a car

by crossing? Yeah, you told me a hundred

times.

Are they nice?

Not enough souvenir thing. It's all

clothing. Nobody buys. Place rubbish.

It's all just expensive overpriced

clothing. That's why it's called designer

outlet. I don't know, I thought they had

lots of different things. They might

have souvenir in Asda. That's why I say

walk in, you push me back out. You ass.

Here. Where's the entrance?

Get your ass back. We're going round and

round, you're making me feel sick. I don't

know where's the entrance. Uh, that way.

Where? I don't know.

Oh, now we go around again.

See, we've got queuing out.

Go left.

What did

you get? Sausage casserole.

Pot noodle. Let's find where Mum is.

Look, sausage, sausage pot noodle. How

much is that? Look at this one,

sausage. How much

is one? And beef and tomato.

Daniel, look, you're gonna buy more

knives? I already got you some.

Look, what do you think of this? It's just

coffee latte. Put it in then,

quick. Supermarkets in England, so

different. There's no music playing.

There's no staff, sales staff screaming

their heads off, and they sell normal

food. Look, they sell proper sausages,

proper bacon.

For some reason they don't sell proper

sausages in Japan, they only sell those

frankfurter wiener things.

Yeah, no, I didn't think it'd come today.

Got my parcel.

Use your new knife. No, open my box.

Why didn't you use the new knife? This

one's so— this one's so ugly. Be quiet!

Put it in the bin. What?

Electric for you today.

Oh, so funny.

Oh my

God, look at my yogurt!

What? I didn't do anything wrong.

So sharp. Take up yogurt, put in the

fridge before they go bad. Oh, she wanted

to take home. Oh, you use my new knife to

open this? It's very sharp.

Oh my God, then you always buy things from

the This isn't mine.

Who bought this? It's Robert.

That's why. Oh, look at the name first.

Someone sent me a pillow. It's not

someone. Someone sent me an email saying

if asking me if I wanted a free pillow.

Are you sure? She said she watches my

YouTube channel. But how do you know your

address? I gave it to them. You shouldn't

give my address to them. Let me name. She

asked me. She asked me if I wanted a free

pillow. From the company, and I said yes

please. So what did you order

actually? Bamboo memory

flake pillow. Thank you.

It's my dad's present.

Present for dad. Daniel, are you sure

your YouTube people send you? Oops, I cut

it. I cut the case by accident. With the

knife, I cut it. I cut the

box open. I cut the pillow by accident.

Mom, look, it's your present.

No, why they send him? Is it that order?

No, someone watched my YouTube channel

and they asked me if I wanted a pillow.

Why they offer you a pillow for? I don't

know, they, they like my channel. They

might just want your address and then

attack us. No,

it's not

a Christmas cracker. Yeah, it's a pillow.

No, it's your Christmas present for

Show me the pillow. It's this one,

£100. This is not— I think it's a good

quality pillow. Oh, you already give

people my address? They already know it.

They don't know. Well, they do now. I

think it's this pillow from Quiesta,

uh, memory, memory flake pillow.

And it says on the little note that came

with it that, um, when you take it out of

the packaging, it's very flat and it takes

24 hours to fully expand. It feels, um,

like it's expanding. Thanks a lot for

sending it. I'll give it to my dad.

Look, it's getting bigger.

Ah, Dad, I did buy 2. I thought you found

Mimo. No. What did you find? I only buy

one. A box of coffee in my bag.

Looks bigger now. He say 24 hours.

It's gonna get bigger and bigger like a

It's a high-quality pillow, Mum. Make it

like a pillow. Be patient.

That pillow, throw it away. All the

feather. And now somebody give you a

pillow. Mm-hmm. Ask her why don't she give

a pair. Don't be greedy.

People don't give one. Why not?

Give it to me, Mo. Do you

like it? Wait, I'm gonna put a pillowcase.

Put your head on it. It's really fat now.

What

you doing?

Oh, who? My sister-in-law

Pauline. She's 60 years old.

That one take us to train station. You met

her? Time to

put in your bed.