sad lonely night in my bed

Okay, ready for bed.

I was watching the angry man.

Yeah, he was scary.

Grumpy, stupid old man.

And smelly.

Confronting the stupid old man tomorrow.

Do I miss my family?

Not really.

Okay, better go to bed.

Really?

I didn't do nothing wrong at

all.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

All right.

Mm-hmm.

Oh

yeah.

Oh, okay.

Oh,

whoa.

Oh, was I crying in my sleep?

I had this dream.

I went back to a house that me and Chihiro

lived in but never really lived in real

life.

And it was empty, and I was like trying to

find traces of her,

but she was completely gone.

And then I woke up and there's tears all

around my eyes.

Oh, weird dream.

Yeah, I had a dream about an old man as

well.

But it was different.

I forgot what happened.

Yeah, this old man was pointing a gun at

me, and then Mr.

Bean came to save me, but the old man's

henchmen killed Mr.

Bean, and then I grabbed another gun and

tried shooting him, but it wasn't working.

So weird.

I don't know why Mr.

Bean was in it.

That's so weird.

Oh my God,

those are some crazy dreams.

I think it was the first house I lived in,

Sutton Valence.

But in the dream, that's where me and

Chihiro used to live.

Weird.

This morning was so damn noisy.

All those stupid Korean people, they kept

knocking on each other's doors

and shouting and banging walls because

there's like 20 of them here, all waking

up in the morning, waking each other up by

knocking on the door.

Can you imagine going down for breakfast

now?

Just be like 50 Korean people going

and yelling at each other.

I think today I want to go to the gym and

then do laundry.

And, uh, what else?

I really want to go to the gym.

Oh, look at my hand.

No, I'm not getting hotel breakfast.

It's full of Korean people now.

Looks delayed.

Yeah, I know.

I think there's about a 10-second delay

because I'm using a server.

Oh, shut up about my hair.

I just woke up, for fuck's sake.

Of course it looks bad.

I am surrounded by Korean people.

Sounds like they're on the balcony.

How'd they get out?

What the fuck?

Are they on the balcony?

You're not supposed to go on the balcony,

idiots.

I think I want to try staying in a

dormitory kind of capsule hotel.

I think we can make it work.

Couldn't we?

The main problem is I need to take all the

heavy stuff out of my bag.

Hopefully they have a coin locker.

£15 a night is pretty appealing.

Hotel Lala, adults only.

Why is it adult only?

What

is that bathroom?

It looks like a cave.

Is it a love hotel?

Why is there like a clamshell hot tub?

Why is there— look, there's like a seat

that you get strapped into here, like a

bondage thing.

Oh, there's handcuffs on

the wall.

176 for 4 nights.

Or maybe the e-gamer capsule hotel looks

interesting.

Esports capture.

Hmm, lowest price.

For

2 nights.

£25 a night is the cheapest.

What's a social club?

Maybe we go to like a meetup thing.

Japanese language exchange meetup.

Do you think I should pay for this dating

app?

I'm getting quite a lot of matches.

Uh, the beer girl messaged me, but I can't

see the damn message.

$28 for a month.

Ah, damn it.

Guess I gotta pay.

Finally, I paid the damn thing.

No, I haven't spoken to Ciro since 2021.

Why is it working?

Imagine it says you need a Japanese bank

account.

Oh my God,

he's so fucking pissed.

Oh my God,

it says purchase cannot be completed.

I swear to fucking God, Japan.

Oh my

Oh, it says you need a credit card.

Says accept Visa.

It says credit card.

What about debit card?

I don't have a fucking credit card.

Ah, debit card.

Maybe I put my number in wrong.

So they say take Visa debit card.

Oh, did I get a donor?

I didn't notice.

$1.

Oh, thanks.

No, I'm not getting a haircut.

My hair's not even long.

What are you talking about?

I cut it 4 weeks before I got here.

I don't cut my hair every 4 weeks.

I cut it every few months.

I'll let it get a bit longer before I cut

it.

Critical payments.

Oh, everything's so hard in Japan.

My hairstyle is very popular and common in

Japan.

This is not America.

I got 50 matches on Bumble with this

hairstyle.

People need to understand fades and buzz

cuts and Chad hairstyles don't work in

Japan.

You need hairstyles that soften your look.

This isn't America.

Come on!

Why weren't the transaction complete?

Oh, for fuck's sake!購入が完了しませんでした.

Why fucking not?

Oh my God!

I can't sign up to any fucking thing.

Try my other card, maybe.

It says they accept Visa.

Look, Visa, MasterCard.

Oh crap, this card expires this year.

Oh no.

Oh, fuck's sake, I can't.

Keeps saying cannot complete payment.

Can't reply to the beer girl.

Good morning, Daniel.

Mummy here.

Why the sad face, dear?

Oh, thanks, Blood Bucket.

Why the sad face?

I'm trying to pay for the dating app, but

it keeps saying cannot complete payment.

It

doesn't say

why.

Oh, thanks, Paris.

D-O-K-E-T-E, D-O-K-E-T-E, D-O-K-E-T-E,

D-O-K-E-T-E, D-O-K-E-T-E, D-O-K-E-T-E.

Trying to give these companies my money

and they don't want it.

Cannot pay Pairs Japanese app Visa.

What if I try paying on my iPhone?

Saysおしらい方法クレジットカード。

But I'm entering a debit card.

How do I change the payment method?

It says on the other thing I can use debit

cards.

No, I can't.

I don't know, I can't pay for it.

Oh,

why is everything trying— it's like

everything's trying to tell me not to use

apps.

This Pairs app seems Promising, but I

can't pay for it.

Maybe there's a desktop version of it

where I can change the payment method.

I think because the payment method says

credit card,

but they said they accept debit cards.

My—

This says credit card.

I need to get a credit card.

Maybe go to the bank.

Okay, actually I do have a Japanese card.

I got one with Chihiro.

I don't know where I put it, but I'm not

sure if it was a credit card.

And it's probably closed by now because I

haven't used it in 4 years.

I don't know where I left it.

Damn it,

you

can't pay using Google Play.

It says credit card.

There must be a button I'm not seeing.

For God's sake, fucking Japan.

Why do they only accept credit cards?

Are they so unflexible?

I already done the personal verification

on Pairs.

I sent my passport.

No, it won't work.

Fucking hell.

I have my mug.

Keep saying credit.

そう いう カ ード。 デ ビ ット。

ど んな ク レ ジ ット カ ード を 使 います か？ デ ビ ット カ ード。

It literally says, "イカのマークのある3D

Secureに対応しているクレジットカードが使えます." What's 3D

Secure?

I did apply for a HBHSBC credit card.

But I left it at home, so I thought I'd

never need it.

Oh, I can't use pears.

I need a credit card.

My girlfriend's messaging me now.

She messaged me at 4 AM, so 2 AM for her.

You make me sad too much.

You still care about me?

I think our problem should be solved.

I still love and miss you, but I don't

know what you think of me.

Please tell me.

I miss you too.

I told you every day,

but you're not happy with my response.

Someone give me your credit card, please.

She's gonna dump you.

Yeah, she's probably on her period.

She does the same thing every month.

She'll be like, you love me, it's true?

And then I say, yes.

And then all I have to do is hug her

and then she's better.

But I can't hug her now, so it's hard to

comfort her.

Visa gift card.

I don't think you can get a prepaid gift

card credit card.

It has to— it has to

be a credit card for it to work.

Pairs app review.

I tried Ashley Madison once.

It was so shit.

You pay £80 and you can do like 10

messages.

So rubbish.

Why stick with her?

Because I don't want to live in stupid

hotels for 6 months in

Japan paying ¥2,000 a

month.

Pairs dating app credit card only.

This one says, I don't have a credit card

in Japan.

If you're looking for a serious

girlfriend, I can safely recommend Pairs.

What if you don't have a credit card?

Maybe my sister has a credit card.

Apparently one of the apps called Omiyai

requires Japanese ID.

I don't know, I feel like we're kind of at

a dead end here.

Banned on Tinder and Bumble.

Can't sign up to Pairs.

Utterly fucked.

I have a debit card to pay for stuff.

She said, when you reply late to messages,

I'm worried.

When you're far away, I'm afraid you'll

encounter danger or find bad people taking

advantage of you.

I'm okay, don't need to worry.

Well, I'm screwed.

Go back home, make a credit card, maybe.

No, she said she's worried people take

advantage of me, not her.

Oh, fucking Japan.

Maybe I can sign up for one online.

Sign up credit card UK online.

Virtual credit card.

Doesn't PayPal have a credit card?

PayPal credit—

can I sign up for a PayPal credit card?

I hate stupid group tabs.

I keep accidentally pressing it.

Where is it?

PayPal, business debit, MasterCard.

No.

It says

page doesn't exist.

Apple credit card.

So apply for it.

I

can't remember my damn

password.

Always forget my Apple password.

Okay.

Oh my

God, Apple Card is only available in the

United States.

Fucking hell.

Oh my God,

I can't get anything done in this stupid

world.

When you are in Thailand, we hug every

day.

I miss your hug.

I miss you too.

God, she's so fucking annoying.

Oh, I can't do anything.

Fucking hell,

just fed up with this shit.

I don't— I'd be having so many dates if I

could just get back on dating apps.

If I have like a date every day.

I could sign up for one, just have it

delivered to my house, ask my sister to

take a picture of it.

Okay, apply for member credit card.

Fastest way to complete application, use

internet bank.

Okay.

Oh my God, I don't remember these numbers.

Come on, memory bank.

I think that's it.

What's my customer number?

Customer number.

Yes, I remembered it!

Holy shit, my memory is amazing.

Damn, let's take a picture of that.

I can't believe I remembered it.

Take a picture.

Continue.

Enter my code.

I bet you wish you weren't a jerk on

Tinder now.

Oh, thanks, Ed.

Bet you wish you weren't a jerk.

Yeah, I didn't know this would happen.

No, it says they accept Visa, so it would

work.

That means I need to unblock my mum

if my sister's not at home.

Apply for credit card.

Okay, uh, my name, blah blah blah.

Has your name changed?

No.

Marital status?

Single.

How many people depend on you?

Zero.

Country of birth?

UK.

Nationality?

British.

British, no.

Uh, with parents.

Why does it care when I moved in?

I don't remember.

2001.

Employment and finances.

Self-employed.

Industry,

uh, digital.

No, entertainment.

Job role,

a YouTuber.

Did they have a YouTuber?

Yoga teacher.

Zookeeper.

Why do they put YouTube on these stupid

job lists?

Stonemason.

Radiographer.

Radio broadcast assistant.

Famous YouTuber.

Um, what should I put as my job?

Investment banker.

Grinder.

What's that?

Gambler.

I have gambler as a job role.

Sign up for a credit card.

My job, I'm a gambler.

I don't know what to put.

The hell was my job?

TV presenter.

I guess that's the closest thing.

Start date, January 2016.

Employer name, YouTube.

Employer name?

Uh, alphabet

street,

LA.

I don't fucking know.

Hey Siri, what is the address of Google

headquarters?

Didn't even answer me.

Hey Siri,

address of YouTube headquarters.

Okay, I found this on the web for address

of YouTube headquarters.

You check it out.

San Bruno.

901 Cherry Avenue.

I work in

America.

Phone number.

Income before tax, uh,

$20,000.

Is your income likely to decrease in the

next 3 years?

No.

How much you pay for rent?

Um, 500.

Property service charges?

250.

Childcare costs?

Zero.

What will you mainly use your new credit

card for?

Spending abroad.

What source of income will you use?

Savings.

What do they want to hear?

I will pay, repay the balance by

debit card, direct debit.

What credit limit would you find useful?

2,000.

Save.

They're gonna reject me.

That's dumb.

It said, what's your employment status?

Self-employed.

And then it says, who employ— what's the

name of your employer?

I just said I'm self-employed, stupid

idiot.

It says checking eligibility.

Oh, now it says our credit card

application is currently unavailable.

Fucking useless.

Oh my God,

oh my God,

why?

Okay, try again.

This time I put that I'm employed.

Your

employment, okay.

Employment status, full-time.

Customer service.

Sales.

Uh,

cashier, we call it

cashier.

Start date, March 2016.

Employer name.

Jackie Message, Street Lennon, Town

Maidstone.

Your income, £25,000.

No.

Your rent,

Pay £100, £150.

I will mainly use my new credit card for

everyday

or emergencies.

I will pay using my savings

with direct debit.

I will find £1,000 useful.

Same.

Okay, continue.

Credibility check, eligibility check.

I bet it's going to say service not

available.

I think there's something wrong with the

application system,

or maybe I'm answering something they

don't like.

Oh, something's gone wrong.

Sorry, our online credit card application

is currently unavailable.

Okay, well, let's use a different bank

then.

Balance transfer credit card.

How do I apply for it?

They've got this fancy stupid page telling

how great their card is.

Where's the button to apply for it?

Uh, classic credit card.

Apply.

Does everyone have a credit card?

Is it normal to have a credit card?

Let's do a poll.

Do you have a

Yeah,

answer the poll, guys.

Lag between audio and sound.

Really?

Oh yeah,

okay, let me fix it.

Yeah,

okay, let me fix it.

Yeah,

let me fix it.

Yeah.

Okay, it's fixed.

My voice is getting more and more robotic.

Okay, it's fixed.

My voice is getting more and more robotic.

Okay, it's fixed.

My voice is getting more and more robotic.

I sound like a Transformer.

Okay.

Oh my God,

I need to register for internet banking.

I don't think this is gonna work.

It says register for internet banking,

verify your identity with sort code,

account number, credit card number, Invest

Direct.

I don't have any of these.

Because I don't use this bank.

Fucking useless.

I can't apply for a credit card with the

bank I'm with because their stupid online

application doesn't work.

Oh my God,

this Japanese app looks good.

But I can't sign up to it.

I

don't know what to do then.

I'm screwed.

Share a message.

Didn't even notice this one.

Said hi, can we meet?

And she said,

What are them people doing?

Why are they banging?

Virtual credit card.

Looks like a scam.

instacard.uk.

Well, I don't know, this is a dead end.

I have to go back to the UK and go to the

bank.

Use Hinge.

I'm banned on Hinge too, but I could try

making a new profile, but I'll probably

get banned again.

Try PayPal.

How?

The only payment option on Pairs is credit

card.

Looks like I'm stuck with Thai girl.

Can't find a girlfriend.

I got on it with my debit.

Why doesn't it let me?

It says they take debits.

It says, which card can you use?

It's a debit card.

Visa, MasterCard.

Oh, thanks, Jer, but

you can be my YouTube girlfriend.

I'll be your girlfriend, Daniel.

I volunteer.

I don't understand.

Is my VPN on?

Maybe the VPN— oh, the VPN is on.

Maybe the VPN is screwing it.

Card name.

Maybe I'm putting my name wrong.

Does it have to be exactly the same as

what's on the card, like caps and stuff?

あ カ ン 完了 し ません でした。

F ucking hell.

I've got 6 matches.

Says I haven 't finished step two of

verification.

Maybe that 's why.

あ なた が 実 実 際 実 在 でも な さ 実 在 する 人 物 で ある こと

を 運 転 免 許 証 な ど の 公 的 書 類 と 写 真 を 使 って 審

査 します。 Maybe because I haven't finished

the verification.

Passport.

I already did this passport.

Maybe that's right.

Yeah, I have to picture my stupid passport

again.

This light is shining on it.

Oh, I can't open the stupid passport.

It keeps folding on itself.

Okay, okay.

Take a photo from above in order to show

the thickness.

Bundle pages.

Take From above, thickness and face.

What the fuck does that mean?

Bundle pages and take from above.

Ah,

okay.

Place information on bearer page of

passport in the frame.

The English is so bad.

Verification error.

We could not match the front of your ID

with your titled ID.

Oh my God,

I'm gonna nut.

Face photo.

Oh my fucking God.

Verification error.

We could not match the front of your ID

with your tilted ID.

Tilted?

The hell's a tilted ID?

Why do they want me to take a picture of

the thickness of the passport?

Maybe the lighting is wrong.

Why do they want to know the passport

thickness?

Place information on bearer.

What bearer page?

How's a bearer page?

Yes, I did it!

Now I've got to take a picture of my face.

This is

so stupid.

How many goddamn pictures of me do they

need?

Finish verification.

Oh, maybe I can actually pay for it now.

Says Shinsechu.

Oh, maybe it's good, guys.

I think I just need to finish the

verification, then I can pay for it.

Come on.

God, what a busy morning.

They want me to take me— they want me to

take a picture of the thickness of the

passport.

Why?

So bunch up the pages and Pinch it like

that.

So over the top.

What?

Shinse NG?

Oh my God.

Oh my God,

oh my God.

Try again.

What about driving license?

Is it because my ID is not Japanese?

Oh, I shouldn't have cut up my spouse

visa.

It won't let me.

The template is a Japanese driving

license.

I don't think it's gonna let me.

I don't think it needs a credit card.

I think it just needs me to verify, but I

can't.

Oh my God.

But there's Reddits saying that foreigners

can sign up to it.

Says, can foreigners sign up?

Yes, I recommend Pairs as one of the best

dating apps.

The answer has been it has to be a

Japanese-issue identification.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Says passports are accepted

internationally.

Where's my divorce card?

I don't know what I did with the cut-up

spouse piece.

I think I took it out my bag.

Let me see if it's in my bag.

Nope.

Oh, fucking hell.

I must have taken it out the bag and put

it in my room.

Okay, we're screwed.

Uh, verification fail pairs.

Dating app.

I don't know.

What can we do if it won't let me verify

with my passport?

Hello Talk.

Uh,

that's where I met Tomoko.

If I only had my divorce, my spouse visa.

Use passport, verify Pairs dating app.

Just says any form of valid government ID

should be fine, especially if it's

Japanese.

Doesn't say only if it's Japanese.

Pairs dating app is impossible to sign up

for.

Getting them to accept any of my carefully

photographed ID documents has been

terrible.

Passport, Japanese driving license, they

won't take them.

You need to take a picture of both pages

at the same time, not only the one with

your picture.

Okay, let's see if they rejected me again.

NG.

I can't,

I can't sign up for it.

本 人 確 認 ス テ ップ の 再 再 撮 影 を お願いします。

不 明 不 証 明 お さ らい 不 証 明 で ある ため 本 人 確 認 が

可能 でき ません でした。

It 's not saying it 's reject it.

It's just asking me to take it again.

Face photo page puzzle on the frame.

Face photo page.

Try again.

I don't know,

put it in front of the window this time.

I don't know if I'm taking the pictures

wrong or what.

No, it won't do it.

It just keeps saying

cannot verify.

It says the picture quality not good

enough or something.

Is my lens smudged?

Now it says passport only applied in Japan

for before February 3rd, 2020.

Take a photo with a background other than

white so the outline can be easy to check.

Unable to recognize identity verification

document.

Why are you fucking—

Ah, fucking hell.

Passport issued by the government of

Japan.

Well, I can't do it then, can I?

I need a Japanese passport or a Zairu card

or—

I'm fucked.

I don't have a fucking Zaidu cardo.

How'd you get a Zaidu cardo?

What if I apply for a Japanese school?

Student visa.

I've been doing this for like 2 hours now.

Nope, denied again.

It's got to be a Japanese passport.

I'm screwed.

I'm actually screwed.

I don't see how I can get a girlfriend

again.

No, I don't have any pictures of the

spouse visa.

Damn

it.

Well, better shower and push-ups and

stuff.

Yes, I give up for now.

There's absolutely nothing I can do.

I thought I'd be able to stay on Tinder

for about a month at least before getting

banned.

There's barely any room in this room to do

push-ups.

Mission failed.

No more dates.

Sorry.

There

it is.

That's what he said.

Have some balls and take care of this

damn— Hey, hey, we don't kill the living.

Okay, uh,

might as well have a shower, I guess.

I want a thumbnail where I look kind of

miserable.

What

would be a good thumbnail?

Now.

And, uh,

Why is it so slow to load the livestream?

Look, it's just buffering.

Trying to get a screenshot of myself.

Oh, it's so slow.

Fucking hell, why won't it load?

Stupid hotel Wi-Fi.

It's playing at 360p.

I want 720.

How can it have 100 download speed but

can't load a livestream?

Is it downloading on Steam or something?

Everything's going wrong.

I can't get anything done.

I just want a screenshot where you can see

my face.

The cat cafe.

Look, it's not loading.

Uh, I look too happy here.

Yeah, I look kind of miserable here.

That's a good one.

Just screenshot that.

Okay.

Hmm.

Oh, this one's quite good.

Oh, this one's good

when it loads.

My girlfriend replied to me today.

She's just having a woman moment.

No biggie.

No problemo.

Oh, whoa.

Look at this one.

I look like I'm gonna do a karate chop.

Quite like that one.

And save this.

Jesus Christ, the sensor is so slow.

I can't— let's let it buffer while I say

Have a shower.

So see you in a minute.

Ah, finished my shower.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Okay.

Oh my God, 11 o'clock!

I'm gonna be late.

What the point of these live streams are?

What is the point of a live stream?

What a great question.

I mean, what is the point of YouTube

at all?

What's the point in anything?

Looking good.

Um, what do we need to do?

Really need to do laundry today.

I think I've run out of socks.

Maybe go laundry first and then the gym,

or should we do gym first then laundry?

So we could do laundry and it would take

an hour, and then whilst it's doing the

laundry, we'll go to the gym.

I think I'll do the gym first.

Oh my God, look at the time!

1:11.

What a coincidence,

Mila coming back to me.

I'm trying to think.

Yeah, the right path back to reunification

with my twin flame.

Maybe that means Chihiro.

Maybe Chihiro was the true twin twin

flame.

I'm on the right path.

Hmm,

weather looks

good.

Okay.

Battery banks.

Uh-oh, pocket Wi-Fi

has— why is it off?

I think it wasn't charging last night.

Oh my God.

0% battery.

Um, they gave me a spare battery, didn't

they?

They shouldn't even need a battery if it's

plugged in.

Yeah, it works even without a battery in.

Oh, this one's zero as well.

Damn it, this battery bank's annoying.

You have to press the power button twice

to make it charge.

0%.

Come on, it's not even charged 1%.

0%.

What

is going on?

Mm, should be fine, I guess, as long as

it's plugged in.

Might have the sweetie I got from the, you

know what.

Oh, it's a big sweetie.

Oh, okay, Asia's stuck on this.

Yeah, we're going to the gym and laundry

and then some lunch.

Uh, I had a big sweet tooth.

Okay, let's make the new VOD.

Big ball, could choke on this.

Okay, see you in the next stream ending.