Why I refuse to see a therapist [M6aMdN0ic4g]

For some reason, a lot of people enjoy

telling me that I need to go and see a

therapist or I need to go and get therapy.

And I want to make a quick video today to

talk about why I don't want to see a

therapist and why I think seeing a

therapist is kind of pointless. Now,

first of all, I kind of take the phrase,

you need to see a therapist, as an insult

because it sounds like an insult. They're

saying, you're crazy. So you need to go

and see a therapist because you're not

normal. I think it's kind of like telling

a fat person that he needs to go to a gym.

You wouldn't go up to a fat person and

say, hey, I think you should start

exercising and go to a gym, because that's

really rude. The fat person knows that

he's fat. He doesn't need to be told to go

to a gym or that he needs to lose weight.

He knows he needs to lose weight. When

people tell me that I need to see a

therapist and I need to go for therapy, I

get kind of confused why they're telling

me that. Are they telling me it because

they're actually genuinely concerned about

me and about my well-being and about my

mental health, or are they just saying it

out of spite to make me feel bad? I guess

the main reason why I feel insulted when

people suggest that I need to go and see a

therapist is because they're saying—

basically what they're saying is, the way

you think is weird and different to me,

so in my eyes you're crazy and you need to

go and see a therapist just because you

have a different way of thinking. I think

that's kind of close-minded, kind of

narrow-minded of you to think that

just because someone else thinks

differently to you that they're crazy.

I'm not going to pretend that I'm 100%

okay and everything's okay with me. I

admit I do have some mental issues, for

example social anxiety. Sometimes I feel

depressed. I always feel like I'm never

happy. With what I have, and I always want

something that I don't have. I admit I'm

not 100% okay. Because I have social

anxiety, I find doing some things kind of

difficult that other people would find

very easy to do. For example, getting a

haircut or going to see a dentist. I

haven't been to a dentist or a hair salon

since I was about 15 or 16. I've actually

never gone for a haircut without my mum.

I've never been to a dentist without my

mum. Last time I went to see a dentist I

was about 15 or 14. I've been cutting my

hair by myself for the past 12 or 13 years

because, because of social anxiety, and I

don't want to go to a hairdresser's and

have to interact with other people. I have

gingivitis and bleeding gums because I

don't want to see a dentist, and my wife

refuses to kiss me anymore. Yeah, there's

things about my personality that I dislike

that I could fix, would be nice to fix.

The thing is It takes a lot of effort to

fix what I— the problems I have. So what

are my problems? I find it difficult to

socialize. Why do I find it difficult to

socialize? Because I don't socialize with

people. I don't have any friends. I don't

go out. I don't interact with strangers.

I don't talk to people. So obviously

someone who, who doesn't socialize is

gonna have terrible social skills. And the

reason why I don't socialize is because

mainly because I don't— I just don't enjoy

socializing. I don't find it interesting

interacting with people. To some people,

or to most people, going for a drink with

their friends or their mates for the

afternoon is what they call fun. To me,

playing Warhammer Total War 2 campaign

mode for 5 hours straight in the afternoon

is what I think is fun. What I'm trying to

say is I know I have problems. I know I

have mental issues. I know I have things

like social anxiety. It's just that I

don't think that going to a therapist and

talking to a therapist would, would change

anything. It's not going to help me become

less awkward and feel less nervous about

talking to people. The only way to fix

social anxiety is not by talking about it

or talking to someone about it. It's by

actually going out there and practicing

socializing and making friends. And

talking to people. And if you keep doing

that, eventually your social anxiety is

going to go away or get better. And I

guess my main problem is I don't have any

motivation to get over social anxiety. I

don't have any motivation to get out there

and socialize. Before, in the past, my

main motivation to socialize was to have

sex, and I pushed myself to socialize. I

lived in guest houses, I talked to people,

I made friends. But now that I'm married

and I'm not allowed to have sex with other

people anymore, it kind of means that I

don't have any motivation to interact with

other people when the goal of having sex

has been taken away from me. When it comes

to therapy, I think there's 2 main

components. There's number one, there's

the talking about your problems part, and

number 2, there's the actual listening to

the professional therapist and seeing what

they have to say about your problems. And

I think talking about your problems is,

is important and it's very helpful. Why do

you think I started this YouTube channel

in the first place? The main reason I

started this YouTube channel was so that I

can talk about my problems. So I don't

feel like I need to go and see a therapist

to be able to talk about my problems. I'm

talking about them right now. And the

second component of therapy is Shit,

didn't plug my mic in. And the second

component of therapy is actually listening

to what the therapist has to say about

your problems. And this is the problem I

have about therapy. The thing is, you're

paying them to care about what you have to

say. The therapist doesn't know you. They

don't know you personally. They don't

really care. I find it hard to believe

that they actually care about you as a

person. They're being paid. What

basically, they're being paid to care and

listen to what you have to say. If I had a

problem that I really wanted to talk about

to, to someone face to face instead of on

a video, I would want to talk to someone

who I feel actually cares about me as a

person. For example, maybe my wife or a

family member or my parents. It just feels

weird to pay someone money and then have

them listen to you talk about your

problems. It kind of feels like paying for

intercourse. The woman who's being paid

doesn't really want to have intercourse

with you. She's only doing it because

she's getting paid. In my eyes, therapy

isn't that much different. I just can't

imagine what advice they could possibly

give me that would change my outlook on

life, that would change the way I think,

that would help me interact with strangers

without feeling really nervous and scared.

There's no combination of words in the

entire English language that they could

spew out that would possibly change my way

of thinking. I can already imagine what a

therapist would say to me. They would say

the same things that I've heard 100 times

before. You need to make friends. You need

to socialize. You need to maybe get a

part-time job. You need to feel integrated

into society. Maybe you could try

volunteer work. You could get a hobby.

You need to do something that makes you

feel more fulfilled in life. Do you think

I don't know these things? Do you think I

need to pay $500 an hour to be told basic

stuff like that? I know how to fix social

anxiety. I know how to improve my physical

appearance. The thing is, I'm too lazy to

actually do anything towards fixing

anything. And the reason why I'm too lazy

to fix things is because I just don't see

how fixing my problems like social anxiety

would really benefit me in a huge way.

I don't mind not socializing. I don't mind

not interacting with people. I don't mind

not having friends. I don't mind cutting

my own hair. I think I'm actually pretty

good at it, and I've saved so much money

from not having to pay someone else to cut

my hair. I don't mind having bleeding

gums. It doesn't bleed every single day.

And I don't mind not kissing my wife

because, to be honest, I'm not really a

huge fan of kissing. It's just lips

pressing against lips. At the end of the

day, it's nothing really that special.

Hello and welcome back to another exciting

episode of Cooking with Daniel. Today we

have a teriyaki burger from the

supermarket, and today what I want to do

is teach you how to re-engineer one of

these cheap supermarket burgers so it

tastes 10 times better. We also have some

hash browns or hash potatoes, or stick

potatoes, as they like to call them in

Japan. I'm actually surprised they even

sell these in the supermarket. Do Japanese

people really eat hash browns that often?

I didn't think that they did. Anyway, I'm

not complaining because I love hash

browns. So first step is we want to

microwave the burger to warm it up a

little bit. No one likes a cold burger.

Do a little dance. And that's the waiting

for the burger dance, I like to call it.

Oh, it's very hot, piping hot.

Okay, first step that we need to do is we

need to fry the burger buns and toast

Boom! And put it this way. And then get

the other one and just

toss it in there. And don't,

don't cook them for too long because they

burn very quickly. We just want to lightly

toast it. And whilst we're waiting for

those to toast, we can put in the stick

potatoes. I think 4

is a good number.

Look, it's a smiley face! You can make a

smiley face. Haha.

And as you can see, I've toasted it. Did

start to burn a little bit because I got a

bit distracted with the smiley face. So a

few more seconds and it would have gone

black, but luckily we managed to salvage

it. And right now I'm frying

an egg, and the secret to frying a really

good egg is to have the heat on really

low. That way the top of the egg cooks and

the bottom of the egg doesn't burn. I've

fried many fried eggs where I've burnt the

bottom of the egg, but the top of the egg

was still raw. So the plan is we're going

to fry the egg and then put it into the

burger. Egg burger.

Now the way to check to see if the top of

the egg is cooked properly is just poke

it, and if you see any sliminess, that

means it's not quite ready. Cooking with

Daniel. So if you're wondering what my

YouTube setup, my studio, looks like,

it's basically just a tripod and a

microphone on the floor. Yeah, it's not

very high-tech. This is where the magic

happens. The egg in the burger

like this,

and then we close the burger.

There you go. Supermarket— cheap

supermarket burger improved.