Update on stuff

Ahem. Hello. I have updates.

If you would like to listen to some

updates on my dad's situation— holy

shit, this chat's going quick. Let me move

it out the way.

Um, let me know if the sound is too loud.

I turned up the gain on my microphone.

Should I move this chat out of the way?

It's a bit distracting.

Do you like my lighting? It's red.

Okay, so yesterday we went to the hospital

and my dad, his eyes are open.

That's it, basically. For the updates,

and his head was moving like this,

and sometimes his tongue was moving.

But it's kind of weird because his eyes

are just open and they're not really

moving around. They're just kind of

staring off into the distance, but they're

not focused. It's kind of like one eye

is looking that way and the other eye is

looking that way.

Remove the chat from the screen. Okay,

it's a bit annoying, isn't it? I'll get

rid of it. Um,

yeah, so I think he's gonna be fine

actually. I don't really feel worried

about him anymore. I think he's gonna make

a full recovery.

But it was kind of— it was a bit creepy to

look at him when he's just lying there

with his eyes opened. It's kind of like

when someone's sleeping and then you pull

open the eyelids and then the eyes just

like staring off at— staring, staring off

into the diff— into the distance.

I felt a bit, a bit uncomfortable seeing

him like that. I think he looks better

when his eyes were closed.

And he's not really blinking much. His

eyes are just open, and,

um, I wonder if his eyes are drying out or

not. I can't keep my eyes open for that

long. Starts to burn.

But he's not waking up. He's still kind of

asleep. But when you talk to him, when you

call his name, it definitely, definitely

looks like he's responding or he can hear

because he starts moving a little bit and

his eyes open wider.

Would I upload the video Chihiro recorded

in the petrol station? I guess I could.

It's not really interesting though. It's

just someone walking around in the shop.

The doctor said, um,

his kidney's still not,

not in a good state, so they put him back

onto the kidney machine. And they

phoned this morning. It was a bit worrying

because when they phone, um,

they don't usually phone unless it's

something urgent. So they phoned up just

to tell us that they're taking the tube

out of his mouth. So he

doesn't need the oxygen pumping machine

anymore, and they're fitting a pipe into

his throat or something. I'm not sure.

My sister's face was all red when she was

on the phone. I thought she was going to

start crying. I was really worried that

they might have might have told her that

he passed away, but he didn't. It's okay.

Everything's okay.

Did he suffer any damage to his brain? I

don't think so because they did a head

scan. They said, said everything looks

We didn't go today because they said

they're putting him to sleep again to pull

the pipe out. Hopefully next time we go,

he'll look a lot better.

It's just such, such a relief. At the

beginning of this week when we first got

here, I thought he was gonna die. The

doctors were telling us he has a very

small chance of surviving. And then we got

to the hospital after landing in the

airport, and they said he has a 50/50

chance of surviving. And then every time

we went back to see them, they kept

telling us he's getting better, but he

still might not survive. I think they're

just talking rubbish. They're just trying

to be realistic, I guess. They always end

the sentence really badly. Well, he's

getting better, everything's getting

better. But he still might die.

Anyone might still die. I might die if I

go outside. It's just kind of annoying

because they make you feel really

How can everything be getting better and

he still might not survive? Obviously

nothing's 100%, but I don't really feel

like it's necessary to say that.

I recorded the conversation. Maybe I can

find it.

Sort of his chest, the amount of support

the breathing machine is getting, less

phlegm comes, or some of the fluid from

around. Um, it's hard to explain,

but it affects all your body. So fever is

so compromised, suggests that there is

some kind of new infection going on. So

the X-ray showed that he has got lots of

fluid in He's getting

less phlegm coming out of his chest. The

amount of support the breathing machine

needs to give him— Am I allowed to

secretly record them without

asking for their permission?

I thought it was a good idea because we

can listen back to it afterwards.

She's— I think she's Scottish. She sounds

Scottish. She was the consultant.

Every time we go, it's a different doctor.

It would be nicer if it was the same

doctor. It's always a different one.

It's easy to forget what they say because

it's a lot of information coming at you

all at once. Getting sepsis from other

causes. I think my main concern is that

he's still incredibly unwell with sepsis.

And yeah, um,

it's hard to explain, but it affects all

your body. All your body tissues. So I

like it. His blood isn't working well,

his kidneys aren't working, all these

things. And until we can support him, we

can treat the infections, we can— it

smells really bad in the hospital room.

It smells weird. I don't know what it

smells like. It smells like flesh and

blood. I don't like it.

Are you not going to say hi? I said hello

at the beginning. Oh, weren't you paying

attention?

How are they treating your dad?

Um, I don't

know. They're giving him antibiotics,

I think. They're giving him loads of

stuff. I don't even know what all of it

is, any of it is. And he's plugged into

a kidney machine, uh, they're feeding him

through a tube.

It was weird seeing him like that though.

It's like he looked, he looked like an

animal. It's him But it's kind of

like it's not him at the same time.

He's awake and he's kind of

semi-conscious, but he can't speak.

He probably has— I don't know if he has

any idea what's going on. Do you think he

knows what's going on? Oh, and another

thing that's kind of bothering me is, do

you think— do you think he doesn't want us

to see him like that?

What if he feels embarrassed and he would

rather us not see him? Because he's lying

there with all these tubes in him, he's

all bloated up like a balloon. He might

feel embarrassed being seen like that. I

think I would feel embarrassed if I was

him and I was just lying there like

a vegetable and

I had all these tubes in me and I looked

kind of scary. I don't know if I would

want people to see me.

Or he might be happy to see us. I'm not

sure. I have to ask him. It'll be

interesting to ask him all these questions

when he wakes up. Were you dreaming when

you were in the coma? Could you hear us?

Did you want us to see you?

Hopefully he'll wake up this week. We have

to go back to Japan in about 2 weeks,

less than 2 weeks, and I'm not sure what

to do. My mum's saying that I should go

back to Japan, but then sometimes she also

says don't go back to Japan.

I don't really know what I want to do. I

would have liked to have stayed when he

came back, but I don't know how long he's

going to be at the hospital. I don't know

when he's coming back. He could be in the

hospital for a long time, for months.

Maybe I'll make a community poll, ask

everyone which, which option

should I choose.

Why do people think he died when I titled

he opened his eyes? Why would he open his

eyes and then die?

No, he's getting better.

And my wife's upset because,

because the video that she was in has less

views than the video that my sister was

in. I asked her, could I do a poll? And I

asked— well, I asked everyone, who do you

like more, my sister or my wife? And then

she got really upset. She said,

everyone's gonna choose your sister

because she's younger. I said, it's not

about looks, it's about personality.

And then she got angry. I thought it was

funny. She said, why do you want to hurt

my feelings? I said, I don't, I just want

to know who people like more. You or my

I can't wait until he wakes up and I can

talk to him again. I'm not sure if he

knows I'm there because every time I go in

to see him, I don't talk to him. I don't

really say much, I just look. I don't know

Maybe I should get my mum to do a

livestream. She won't come on camera, she

keeps saying she's embarrassed or

Is your dad responsive? Yeah, he is.

If you call him, he starts moving a bit

like this.

Oh, thank you. I have been praying

for your father's recovery. I am glad to

hear he opened his eyes.

Thank you for your prayers. I'm not

religious,

but, um,

if it works, then I don't know.

Do you read all your YouTube comments?

Yes, all of them.

Terminally sick patients suddenly get

better right before they die. No, that

would be terrible. Sometimes I think about

that. What if he starts getting better and

then he dies? Is that possible?

I guess anything's possible.

Some people are moaning because we're

not going to the hospital every day.

When did I get here? It's been 9 days and

we've been going every day. Every day

apart from today. And that other day when

we did the livestream with my sister.

We don't have to go every single day. We

can have 1 day or 2 days off, or we can go

and see him and then stay at home next day

and then go and see him the next day.

There's not really much change day to day.

For the first 7 days, we were going every

And then some people moaning because I'm

doing streams or making videos. I still

have to make videos. It's my job. It's

what I do for money. My sister's

downstairs working. She also works from

home. You have to keep busy doing

something. Can't just sit there staring at

the wall thinking about him all the time.

Am I gonna pay back the money for the

plane tickets? I offered to pay, but then

my mum wrote me a check, and then we went

to the bank. If she's offering, then why

not take it? I'll buy her a present.

Still need money because my wife hasn't

worked for 3 weeks, so The

plane ticket wasn't the only expense.

If your sister also works from home, why

can't she stay with your mother? London is

closer than Japan. I'm not sure. She says

she's gonna go back to London maybe next

week. I'm not sure why she can't just work

from home all the time. I think she has to

go into the office sometimes.

You said you didn't cash the check. I

checked it. I cashed it in yesterday.

Takes 2 working days.

Daniel's dad, if you can hear me, please

stay strong. Thank you.

It's weird why it censors

my name. If you type my name into the

donation message, it censors it out. I

have no idea why.

My uncle was, was at the hospital

yesterday as well. It was really awkward.

I went into my dad's room with my sister,

but I left first. I walked out and my

uncle and my auntie were there, and my mum

and my wife weren't there. So it was just

me, my uncle, my auntie. I said hello,

and then he asked how he was doing, and

then we just sat there for about 15

minutes in silence. So awkward. I hated

it. I just don't know what to say to them.

They live next door and we never speak to

each other. He was actually my teacher

during school. People used to make fun of

me. They'd say, is he really your uncle?

You look nothing alike.

Oh, thank you, Felix Fahrenheit.

He was my IT teacher during secondary

school. It was so embarrassing. So

embarrassing having one of your relatives

as a teacher.

He's a nice guy, he's just very quiet. I

think a lot of my uncles are very shy and

quiet. Maybe it runs in the family.

Did I go to private or public? I went to

public school. Swadlins Secondary.

Worst school ever.

Am I planning on doing more ASMR videos?

Yeah, I've made an ASMR channel. It was

just my old cooking channel. I just

renamed it— renamed it Daniel Lord ASMR.

I'm not sure what to do on it yet. I'm

thinking about reading this book.

ASMR story reading, book reading.

I found this old guy, he's called Morpheus

ASMR. He's like this 50-year-old guy and

he basically just does what Ben Dean does.

He just sits there eating, talking. He

gets loads of views. He has 400,000

subscribers.

Anyone can do it. You just set up a camera

and a mic and you just have your lunch in

front of it and whisper, speak quietly.

I can just imagine Ben Dean being a 50 or

60-year-old man and he's still doing that.

Why not?

My sister was doing yoga and I tried

filming her. I said, we can make a Yoga

with Sabrina video. She got embarrassed

and told me to stop.

It would be such a good video. Yoga with

my sister.

I might do one about— what's, what's the

name of that girl who does those weird

faces? Belle Delphine or something. She

follows me on Instagram.

That's it. I don't know how I can make

that into a 10-minute video. I can make it

into a 10-second video. Loads of people

making videos about her now, and they get

tons of views.

Why is she following you? I don't know.

She doesn't follow many people. She

follows about 270 people. She has 2

million followers on Instagram. She

follows me on Instagram. It's weird.

People kept messaging me saying, did you

know Belle Delphine follows you? I said,

who's that? Never heard of her. Then I

looked her up and loads of people making

videos about her. She sticks her tongue

out and she rolls her eyes up. She does—

she makes sexual photos and

videos.

How does it feel with Elvis the Alien

giving you most of your fame? Don't make

me laugh. I gained nothing off of Elvis

the Alien's video. His video has nearly a

million views, and I gained maybe 3,000

new subscribers. My views didn't go up at

all. I had more views on my videos back in

mid-2018 than I do now. It helped me

in absolutely no way. Actually made things

worse because now everyone thinks I'm the

Asian Onision.

Which isn't a good reputation to have.

It's not really good to be compared to one

of the most hated people on YouTube, is

it?

It just goes to show that having a big

YouTuber make a video on you shouting you

out like that doesn't really help much if

they paint you in a bad light. If he made

a nice video saying, oh, Daniel makes cool

videos, He's insightful and he talks about

personal things. Maybe would have helped,

but no, he just chose all the bits that

made me look bad.

It's easy to make someone look bad if all

you do is show people all the bad things

they've done and said. So everyone's done

or said silly bad things. If you just show

that, then obviously it's gonna make them

look bad. And people

on the internet are stupid, so they just

watch that and they just make up their

mind. They judge just from what they see

without digging deeper or trying to

actually find out what I'm about.

There's no one in the world who has never

said anything bad. Everyone's said bad or

done bad things. There's no such thing as

a perfect person who has done no wrong in

their entire lives. Maybe, maybe 1% of

the population.

It's just that most people don't talk

about it. They keep it secret. Because if

you don't keep it secret, well, look what

happens to me. You get criticized and

people think you're a scummy person.

That's why people keep their secrets

So even, even my dad has done things if I

told you about would make you dislike him.

So even my sister, my mum, my wife, I can

tell you stories about things they've done

that would make you dislike them. So

everyone has stories, stories that would

make you dislike them. They just don't

tell people because it's embarrassing.

They don't make videos about it.

I've never claimed to be perfect. I've

never claimed to be holier than thou.

I've never claimed to be a good moral

person, so I don't really know why people

keep going on at me. About being

this and being that.

And it's

all subjective, so something that's good

for me might be bad for someone else.

There's no such thing as wrong or right.

It's all subjective.

Well, when it comes to cheating, let's

just say I'm not the only one in my

family. Actually, everyone in my family

has cheated apart from my dad. Not that I

know of. Maybe he has. I just don't know.

But apart from my dad, even my wife,

everyone's cheated. Oh,

I'm exposing my family

now. Don't tell them.

Do I regret posting any videos? Not

really. I regret taking down videos.

I took down a lot of videos because I was

scared I'd get a strike over them. I

shouldn't have.

Why are the lights off? I think it's more,

it's more atmospheric, atmospheric like

this. Do you like it?

What do I think of Sweden? It looks pretty

boring. It just reminds me of

PewDiePie. That's it. And IKEA.

Has my thinking worldview changed now

because of the situation?

Uh, not really.

Maybe a little. Maybe I'll try and

appreciate my dad a bit more. Try and talk

to him a bit more.

Maybe I'll put more effort into talking to

him, doing things with him. But I think

after time passes, it'll just go back to

how it was before, just go back to normal.

Oh, thank you for the super chat.

Hiding in your room, I see love, you

Danny. Look at the In the background,

there's there's a light and it's shining

through the window. It's making little

squares. Looks cool.

Creepy title of the video. His eyes open

though, like this.

He looks like this is going to sound bad,

but he kind of looks like an animal

because he's he's awake and his eyes open,

but he can't respond. It's weird.

It's like he's not a human. I don't really

like seeing him like that. I, I was more

comfortable when his eyes were closed. I

felt very uncomfortable when his eyes were

just open like that, kind of like fish

eyes.

I don't really want to go back and see him

again if he's like that. I want to go back

when he's awake. It's just—

I don't know, I feel like he wouldn't want

to be seen like that.

I don't think I would want to be seen like

that. Very confusing

situation.

I'm still wearing this. I've been wearing

it for over a month now. Haven't washed

it. Smells fine. I think it smells

okay. Don't go back to Japan until he's

awake. I definitely want to stay until

he's awake. It would be so sad

if I had to go back to Japan before he

wakes up. I came all this way. I want to

at least talk to him again.

But we're running out of time.

Oh, thank you. Thank you for the $5.

I bought some scissors. They're coming

tomorrow. Maybe I'll do a cutting my

wife's hair livestream. See if she'll let

me cut, cut her hair for her.

Oh no, it's lagging.