i HATE my life [UF6V3ZutZP0]

Testing,

testing, testing.

I've got

big problems, guys.

Big problems.

Okay, so So

tomorrow I got a job interview at

this place,

and, um, I kind

of need someone to drive me to the

interview, but I just had a massive fight

with my mum and now I'm pissed off at her.

So now I don't know how to get to the

stupid interview. And I want to buy a car,

but I can't buy a car because all the

places that sell cars are so far away.

I need a car to get to the place that

sells the car. The hell's the point of

that? This stupid country.

So yesterday me and my mum went to look

for cars. I mean, didn't buy a stupid car.

I don't know why. We went to 3 different

dealerships.

Why can't your mum drive you? Because I'm

pissed at her.

So the toilets— I mean,

the, you know, the pipes where the sewage

flows out from the toilets? All blocked up

because apparently Sunny flushed wet wipes

down the toilets when she was here last

weekend. And she thinks— my mum thinks

that's why they're blocked up. So then she

was like, you didn't help me, blah blah

blah. And I said, I was gonna help. You

asked me, can you help me? I said okay.

But then my uncle came, so I thought, oh,

my uncle's here, he'll fix it. I don't

need to help. So then after my uncle

leaves, she's all like moody because I

didn't help. And then I got mad because I

don't like being blamed because of

miscommunication. It's not my fault I

didn't go and help. I said I'd help,

but you didn't say when I was supposed to

help. And then she's like, oh my god, I

shouldn't have to tell you when you need

to help. Yeah, you do. Otherwise, how am I

supposed to know when I'm supposed to come

down and help? My uncle is here, so why do

I need to go and help? Help do what?

To unblock the pipe, you gotta get a long

pole and poke it down the pipe and unblock

it. You don't need 2 people to do that.

If my uncle's here, what am I gonna do?

So I punched my door and I hurt my hand

now. 'Cause I got mad.

Every time something goes wrong in the

house, she like blames me and she's like,

oh, you don't know how to do anything. I

don't know how to do plumbing or

electrical stuff.

Pay a plumber! Phone an

electrician! I don't know how to do this

stuff. My dad didn't teach me at all how

to do anything. Blame me? How the hell am

I supposed to know? Do you guys know how

to do plumbing or electrical stuff?

It's her house, she should get it sorted

out.

I don't

need to learn, I know what to do. You get

the long pipe and you put down the pipe

hole and then you shove it in the hole and

then you unblock it. But my uncle is here

and he did it. So what am I supposed to do

if my uncle's already here doing it?

Sick and tired.

Wish I didn't come home now. Help your

uncle. Oh, what, you need 2 people to poke

a pipe down a hole? Oh, it's such a hard

job, you need 2 men. 5-year-old could do

it. If my uncle didn't come and do it,

obviously I would have done it if she

asked me to do it.

Have this conversation with your mum. I

did, and then she was like, oh my God,

you can't even do this. You can't even—

That's all you get out of her when I try

and explain why I didn't help.

You can't talk to her. You can't, because

as soon as you try and say— explain why

you did something, she just gets all

defensive, like, oh my god, why can't

you— I

said, because you didn't tell me properly,

and she's like, oh my gosh, you don't have

to tell— Yeah, you do. If you don't

communicate properly, how am I supposed to

know what you want? I can't read your

mind. Every time, like, something goes

wrong, she blames me for not helping when

she didn't even ask me to help. She said,

are you gonna help me? I said, okay. And

she didn't say when, or she didn't say,

oh, it's okay, your uncle's here, or she

didn't say, oh, your uncle's here, can you

come down now? She didn't say anything.

How am I supposed to know? Now I

don't know how to get to the stupid job

interview because I can't get a stupid car

because I can't get to the place that

sells the stupid cars. And then yesterday

we went looking for cars. We went to the

Hyundai dealership and All these

dealerships are rubbish. Like Hyundai

dealership, the Toyota dealership,

the Honda dealership. They all got new

cars like 2022. All the cars are

expensive, like £15,000. They don't have

any cheap cars because these are like the

brand dealership places, like the

headquarters, you know, Marshall UK

dealerships. They don't sell cheap cars.

All they got is the new cars. So then I

Google used dealership and I find one.

You know, you know, you got 2 types of

dealerships in the UK. You got, you got

the, like, the main brand dealerships like

Honda, Toyota, where they got the official

salespeople. It's very nice.

5-star service. They come out and say,

hello, can I help you? And they make you

coffee. That's like the premium stuff.

But then you go to the used dealership and

it's like some stupid 50-year-old Joe

Bloggs sitting there with his feet up on

the desk and he's like, alright mate, uh,

uh. And then you got like cheap cars,

like £2K cars, £3K cars. So I find

dealership, we go there and it's great.

Got loads of cheap cars. They got £5K

automatic Ford Focus, £3K automatic

petrol. But the stupid man working there

Some tall guy with blue shirts and shorts

doesn't even come out and say, oh, can I

help you? He just sits in his stupid

little office. And then my mum's standing

at the door trying to talk to him, but he

doesn't come over and she can't hear what

he's saying. So then we just leave because

we feel like the service is rubbish, the

car's all scratched up. I feel like maybe

they're racist because we're Asian. I

don't know. Rubbish service.

And then I say, oh, this car looks okay.

Ford Focus, automatic,

5K. My mum keeps saying, oh, scratch here,

it's got a dent here. Yeah, because it's a

used car. It's a secondhand old used car

from like 2015. No crap, it's got

scratches on it. What do you expect?

Obviously, it's not mint condition. It's a

used car. So we didn't get any cars

yesterday,

and I don't know how to buy a stupid car.

It looks okay. I don't know if it's

actually okay or not. Then I've got to do

a test drive. I don't want to do a test

drive. I haven't driven in 2 years. I'm

scared I might damage the car before I buy

So now I don't know what to do because I

need money. I need to get a job to get

money. I need to go to interviews to get a

job. I need a car to get to the interview,

but I need a car to go and buy the car.

I hate this stupid country. Why is this

stupid country so hard to do anything in

it? It takes like 2 hours by train to get

to the car dealership. It takes like 2

hours by train to get to my interview. Oh

my god, I'm so stressed out.

I'm thinking my only option is I walk to

the interview and it will take like 3

hours, or I get a taxi and it takes— costs

And it's like my mum doesn't really want

me to get a car because she's scared or

something. Keeps saying, oh, you don't

have confidence. Yeah, of course I don't

have confidence when I don't have any car.

And my parents keep trying to like coddle

me so I don't do anything. My dad was like

that too. He was like, oh, dangerous.

All my friends were like 17 with their

first cars. My dad wouldn't give me a car

because he was like,

oh, dangerous, it's dangerous, Junior.

Stupid fucking useless parents.

They don't encourage me to do anything

difficult.

Just bring up all the negatives all the

All my mum did at the car dealership

yesterday was like, oh, this car's too

long. What do you mean it's too long?

Well, the car's all the same length. It's

not a limousine. They've got like a

difference of length by 5 inches. Like a

Tesla Model 3 is maybe 10 inches longer.

Than a Ford Fiesta. She's like,

oh, this car's too long, this car's too

big, this car's got a scratch. Who cares?

Oh my God.

And then we go to the car dealership.

Instead of trying to look for the cars,

she's like chatting to the salesman about

how many kids he's got. So embarrassing.

She's like, oh, you got 5 kids? Daniel's

35 and he was married in Japan and he

doesn't have any kids. The hell are you

talking about? He doesn't care. He wants

to sell us a car, not hear about how many

kids I don't have. Fucking hell,

who the hell goes to a car dealership,

start talking to the salesman about how

many kids he's got and if he's married or

not? What's wrong with her?

I gotta go. I gotta do this by myself if

I'm gonna get a car. I'll do it by myself.

I can't do it with that. It's so

I don't know,

I just feel like, like, screw the job,

screw getting cars, just fly back to Asia.

Screw this. Oh,

I don't know what to do. Like, I go to

Asia and I'm broke and I've got a horrible

life because I can't afford a nice hotel.

Or I stay in England, I gotta get a stupid

car and I gotta get a stupid job and think

about moving out because I can't stand

living here. I get, I get attacked and

blamed when anything goes wrong because I

don't know how to fix it.

Phone a fucking plumber then if you need

plumbing done. I'm not a plumber. I don't

know how to do it.

Oh, I wish I just stayed in Thailand now.

If I order a car online, the soonest it

will come would be in a week. I need a car

now if I'm gonna apply for jobs.

I already asked AI and it's not really

helpful.

Yeah, I know I can get an Uber, but

because I don't even know I can get an

Uber here. But I can get a cab, like I

can book a cab, but it'll cost £40 one

way. So I'm thinking I

get the cab in the morning tomorrow and

then I walk home,

or I look for a car after the interview

when I'm in Maidstone and I get the car

tomorrow. Whilst I'm there, but I don't

know if I could drive the car home on the

day I buy it. I don't know

what to do. I don't want to talk to her.

She's so annoying.

Yeah, I want to get a job because I want

to buy a house. I can't make enough money

doing this stupid YouTube thing anymore.

Make 12k a year. At this rate, I need more

Why should I have to apologize? I didn't

do anything wrong. What did I do wrong?

I didn't block up the toilet.

Is she going out? She's opening the gate.

She has to apologize to me.

I didn't do anything wrong. She started

attacking me for not helping when I said I

would help. I literally—

what did I do wrong then?

What's the job I went— want to interview

for? I can't say it because I don't know.

I don't want people to know what company

it is, but it's just minimum wage. They

pay like £18,000 a year. It's part-time.

It's like 30 hours a week.

But if I can get the job, I make 18K plus

my 12K YouTube. I make like 30K.

Don't know where she's

going. She was supposed to take me to look

for a car today, but then we had a fight.

So if I could make $30K a year, it'd be

She's the one in the wrong, and then she

doesn't admit she's in the wrong, and she

doesn't apologize. That's what's so

annoying about it. Like, you can do

nothing wrong, and then she'll attack you.

'Cause she's frustrated and blames you for

something, and then she won't just say

she's sorry. That's what's so annoying

about it. I'm just sitting here not doing

anything bad, and I

thought she had it handled with my uncle

coming over to fix it. Like, why is it my

fault? If you wanted me to help, I would

have happily gone and helped. And then she

says, oh, I did ask you for help. Yeah,

and I said I will help, but you didn't say

when I had to help. My uncle was here, so

I thought it didn't even help anymore.

And then I said, you got to communicate

properly, otherwise I don't know what you

want. And then she's like, oh my God, I

shouldn't have to communicate. You should

know. How am I supposed to know? How hard

is it to just tell me?

Every damn time she expects me to be able

to read her mind when it's so easy to just

use words and tell me what you want.

I don't understand why she can't

communicate properly. Is it like a

language thing? How hard is it to say,

Daniel, can you come down now to

help? It's literally one word.

Now or later or in 10 minutes.

Why? Why is it so hard for her to

communicate a basic request and then

blames me? 'Cause I didn't understand

what she wanted. Not my fucking

fault, is it? Don't blame

me. I didn't do anything wrong.

If something goes wrong with the house,

call someone!

Because I

don't know how to do anything DIY-wise.

You think I know how to do electrical

wiring or plumbing or fix

a pipe? Why would you think I know how to

do that?

But obviously I don't know how to do that

stuff, so why would you ask me to do it?

Call someone like a professional, or ask

someone you know who knows how to do it,

like my uncle or Dave Gibson.

Don't come to me asking how to do stupid

DIY. You should

know by now what I know how to do and

don't know how to do. Starts attacking me

because I don't have to do stuff I don't

have to do.

Sick and tired living here.

If it was me and my toilet got blocked and

I didn't know how to fix it, I'd phone a

plumber. I wouldn't

be like, oi, Sabrina, help me! Oh, you're

so stupid, Sabrina, because you don't know

how to fix it. It's not her fault. She's

not a plumber. I'm not a plumber. Why is

it my fault? And then she'd

be like, oh, your dad would know how to do

it. Yeah, my dad would know about cars and

gardening and DIY,

but he didn't teach me how to do anything,

did he? Didn't teach me shit.

Dad never was like, oh, Daniel, I'm gonna

show you how to do the plumbing today.

No! He did fuck all teaching me how to do

anything. Don't blame me.

Fucking hell.

That's the thing though, you got parents

They don't teach you how to do anything,

so you don't have to do anything, and then

they blame you because you can't do

anything that they want you to do, and

then they say it's my fault. Whose fucking

fault is it?

I don't blame them for not teaching me how

to do anything, but then they attack me

because I don't know how to do anything.

Whose fault is that?

I had to learn everything I know how to do

like paying taxes, doing my cooking.

Traveling. No one taught me anything.

Booking my ticket now. I'm leaving this

stupid country.

UK. Need a car to buy a car. What stupid

rubbish is that? How am I

supposed to get a car if I don't have a

car then? If I had a car, I wouldn't want

to buy a car. Nearest car dealership is

like 2 hours by train away.

It would be cheaper if I book a ticket

back to Thailand and get a stupid car.

Ah,

all the

dealerships are in Maidstone. It will take

me half an hour to walk to the train

station. And then like 20 minutes

on the train, and then I don't know,

10-15 minutes from the train station to

the car dealership. It would take me an

hour plus, and then I might get attacked

at the train station because it's summer

holiday now. There's stupid kids

everywhere.

Every time I'm in Asia, I miss my home and

I feel like life could be easier, and I

come home and then I remember why I hate

it here. I can't live with this woman,

honestly.

How do I get out of it?

I had a look at rent for a place in

Maidstone. It's like £800 a month.

So I rent a place, £800 a month, £200

food, 100 bills, it's £1,100 expenses. I

get a job, I make £2,200 a month,

job plus YouTube. I got £1,000 left

over savings profit. Then what?

Save that up and do what with it?

Then I'm stuck in Maidstone. In some

chav area.

Uh, can't Chihiro take me back? For God's

sake, his life was so much better when I

was just married in Japan.

Oh, I'd take living with Chihiro over

living with my mum any day.

God, I miss my life in Japan.

I can't go back to Asia because I'm broke.

The only quality of life I'd get in Asia

with my current earnings would be so

rubbish, like dormitory, live in a

dormitory.

I don't know what to do anymore.

It's like all options are just shit.

The digital nomad life is so tiring and

hard. Oh, 2 months in Thailand,

3 months in Malaysia, 6 months in Japan,

and then I go broke on all the planes.

And then I've got to live in a stupid

guest house or crappy little room,

and even then it's still expensive.

Or I hunker down in the UK and I get a job

and then I get my own place, but it's like

crappy apartment in Maidstone.

I just feel like giving up sometimes.

Yeah, Thailand's cheap, but I can't live

there. I can't get a visa. All I can do

is stay in each country for a couple

months, and then I gotta fly on a stupid

plane again. And what am I gonna do there?

Just sit in my room? Doing stupid YouTube

videos that only get 5K views,

like $15 a video. I can't afford it

I don't even know if I'm gonna get the

job. I don't know, I might go to the

interview and then it'll be like, oh,

sorry, or we'll let you know.

If I don't get the job, then what? Gotta

apply for other jobs. So maybe I just get

the car anyway.

But it's gotta be a cheap car because I

don't want to get stuck with like an

expensive car on finance.

Don't get the job, then you don't need a

car. Yeah, but then I barely make any

money. I need more money.

For my financial goals.

I could make pretty good money if I got

part-time job plus YouTube.

It's just not fair because I get treated

like I don't help at all when I do help.

I do a bit of gardening. If she asks me to

dig a hole, I happily dig a hole. I do

tidying, vacuum around,

but it's never enough. Like, one tiny

thing goes wrong that I don't know how to

fix, and then she starts attacking me for

it.

And then she acts like, oh, you don't

help, you never help. And then I say, I do

help, I do this and that. And then she'll

say, oh, you only do that. Oh, you only do

the vacuum. Oh, you only tidy the kitchen.

Yeah, maybe I get a van and just live in

the van. Oh God, I don't know why,

but there's swarms of seagulls flying over

the house. Can you hear that? It's so

annoying. There's like 50 seagulls. They

just fly around circles for a bit.

I don't know what they're doing.

Maybe like a farmer's field has loads of

worms. Hate seagulls.

It is about a 30-minute drive away from

the beach, so the sea's not too far away.

It's just so frustrating because it's so

hard to do anything Without a car.

I should have just bought the car earlier,

but I wasn't sure if I really wanted one

Yeah, I got the e-bike, but you know,

in 2022 Last time I asked for the e-bike,

we had a massive fight because I was like,

where are the e-bike keys? And then she

started shouting at me, calling me rude or

something. How the hell is that rude? I

just asked where the keys are. Because she

was playing a game, she's all stressed

out, and then she just told me to go and

look for it. She said it's somewhere

hanging up in the garage. So I go into the

garage, I look for it, I can't find it.

So I ask again, can you just tell me where

the keys are? And she can't explain where

the keys are because of her language

skill. So then she finally gets

up and shows me where the stupid keys are,

and they're hanging on a nail behind some

random piece of wood. How the hell

am I supposed to know they're there?

So I don't ask for the e-bike because it's

all locked up with chains and stuff. I

don't know where the stupid key is, and

trying to ask her where the key is,

it's like shoving needles under your

fingernails to ask a simple question.

I don't know why she drove off and then

drove back after 5 minutes.

Did she put biscuits and milk?

When I buy food off Amazon, she'll say,

oh, you're wasting money on delivery,

when it's literally free delivery. And

then she'll go and waste petrol, just buy

one bowl of milk.

Daniel's gonna be minimum wage toilet

cleaner for the rest of his life. No,

you don't get it, do you?

I need £50,000

to get a deposit on a mortgage so I could

buy a property and rent it out, and then

I'll have financial freedom. It would take

me 2 years to make £50k because I'll make

£20k minimum wage, and then plus my

YouTube money would be like £10-12k. I

make £30k a year. It will take me like a

year and a half to save up the £50k. And

then I buy my first property and I rent it

out, and then it'll be like £600 mortgage

plus a couple hundred maintenance, legal

fees, insurance, fixes,

repairs, or whatever. Could be like £100 a

month. So like £600

mortgage, £300 expenses, and then I charge

them like £1,400 rent a month. That leaves

£500 profit. Left over, and I'll just

put it all into paying off the mortgage.

It'll take like 10 years to pay off the

mortgage, and then I'll have the property

and the rental income coming in,

and then it will be paid off. And then

after it's paid off, it's like £1,000+

rental income coming in when there's

nothing else to pay off apart from, you

know, insurance and stuff, tax, council

tax. So I'll make that and I'll have a

house, I'll own it outright.

10 years to pay off mortgage seems quick.

Uh, 12 to 15 maybe if I, if I put all the

money back into paying off the mortgage.

If I don't put the money back into paying

the mortgage and I just pay off the bare

minimum, it will take like 30 years, 25 to

30 years. And then I'll just keep

whatever's left over, like the couple

hundred extra. I'll just keep that as my

income. But I think it'd be better

to put that into paying off the mortgage.

I think now the interest rate's coming

down, it's going to be cheaper to get a

mortgage in the next few years.

Because they're cutting interest rates

But if I had to move out because I can't

stand living here,

uh, it will take like 5 years to save up

£50K. I really want to just build up like

£50K cash savings so I can get a

mortgage.

The main problem is I don't know how to

get a car,

because either you go to like an expensive

dealership where it's really nice, but

then all they have on the forecourt for

sale are like 2022 new cars.

That costs $15K. They don't have any cheap

cars at the nice dealerships like the

Honda dealership. You gotta go to some

rubbish, like some entrepreneur

businessman, Joe Bloggs,

Wheeling and Dealing, who's got like $3K,

$4K used cars on his lot. But then you

risk that you get scammed because he might

have— he might be shady and sell you a

crap car that's broken. I don't know

anything about cars. I don't know if it's

broken or not.

What if I get scammed and then I pay for

the car and then it breaks down? Get a

cheap car, it breaks down all the time.

Need to fix this, fix that, replace the

oil. I don't know how to do that.

So then maybe it's better to get a more

expensive car. It's so annoying. I just

get a bicycle maybe.

But then if it rains, I get wet.

I can't rent a car because all the car

rentals are in Maidstone.

Uh,

I hate relying on people.

Are you gonna move out? Yeah, if I get a

job, I'd be very tempted to.

Is it because people in your life

unreliable? No, because The people in my

life, when you ask them for help, they use

it to attack you. They're like, oh, I help

you all the time, but you don't help me.

Oh, I helped you look for a car yesterday,

but you don't even want to help do my

plumbing. When I literally said, yeah,

I'll help, but you didn't tell me to come

down, did you?

I thought you didn't need help anymore

because my uncle came over to fix it.

What am I supposed to help with if my

What did she say when you didn't come

down? She said, are you going

to help? I said, okay, and then

my uncle came over. I'm not going down If

my uncle's there. If you call my uncle,

that means you don't need my help anymore.

Why do you need me and my uncle helping?

My uncle can sort it out. He knows how to

do it. If he's coming over to help, let

him help then. That means you don't need

my help anymore. What's the problem?

If you wanted me to help, why did you call

my uncle? Fucking hell.

How is it my fault?

Could have watched how he fixed it. I know

how to fix it. You get the long pole, you

shove it in the hole, and you unblock the

blockage. It's not fucking hard.

You literally just put a long stick in a

hole. I'm not gonna do

it if my uncle's here doing it, am I?

What am I gonna do, like stand behind my

uncle and help him shove the stick down

the hole?

Oh, it needs 2 grown men to unblock some

tissue paper. Wet— oh, the wet tissue

paper is so solid It needs 2 grown men

shoving a stick down a hole? It's wet

tissue paper! You could blow it and it'll

come apart. It's not concrete!

Yeah, I'm triggered because I hate being

blamed and attacked when I didn't do

anything wrong. I didn't refuse to help.

I was happy to help. More than happy

to help. Just tell me when and where.

Don't say, can you help? And then you

don't tell me when and where, and then you

cry about it because I didn't come down

and help. You didn't tell me when you

wanted me to come and help. That's your

fault. Fucking blame me.

I'm not gonna be like, no, I'm not

helping. I'm more than happy to help.

Help dug those holes, I did the gardening.

I never say no if you need help, but then

she acts like I never help. The hell is

that about?

As soon as anything goes wrong, she gets

my uncle to come over, and then she's

like, oh, you can't do it. Didn't even

give me a chance to do it because your

uncle's here.

I don't know if Sunny actually flushed wet

wipes down the toilet. That's what my mum

said. I don't know how she would know that

though.

Sunny's fault, isn't it?

It's your house, not your uncle's. Then

why does my mum keep saying it was my

house? If it's your house, you fix it

then. It's not my house, isn't it?

Take the initiative.

No! Give me clear instructions if you want

me to do something. Is it

hard to give me clear instructions? It's

like a computer. You enter in the wrong

inputs and then you blame the computer

because it gave you the wrong answer,

when it's your fault. You didn't put in

the clear instructions into the computer.

You don't expect a computer to like guess

and take initiative. Oh, stupid calculator

got my equation wrong. Oh, so dumb. How

come you didn't know what I was wanting

out of the answer of the equation? Uh,

when actually it's your fault because you

didn't put in the numbers correctly.

If you don't communicate properly, I don't

know what you want.

Communication is number one most important

thing, and she doesn't talk properly.

How hard is it to just type a basic

English sentence?

Now if I get a job, I won't have to pay

taxes. What are you talking about? My

YouTube earnings are below the tax-free

allowance, and the job earnings would be

already taxed. It's called income tax.

They take it out of your paycheck before

you even get it. What are you talking

about?

This dude's so frustrated. Yeah, because I

can't get anything done in this stupid

country. Tomorrow I gotta walk 10 miles to

my stupid job interview, or pay £40 for a

taxi, or risk

getting into another fight if I ask where

the bicycle key is.

Why do I have to go to the place to do the

interview? It would just be like, hello,

my name's blah blah blah, nice to meet

you. When can you start? Oh great, I had

to come all this way for you to ask me

something that you could have asked on the

email. You know, we have these things.

They're called telephones! And they got a

camera on it. Hello?

Why do I have to go all the way to this

stupid place to do the interview? Waste my

time. You're either going to give me the

job or you're not going to give me the

Tell him to click on my livestream.

Made me go all the way for interview where

I don't even know I'm going to get the job

or not.

They want to see that you're actually who

you say you are. They're not gonna know

who I am. You know, there's this thing

humans do called lying and

acting. You think I am the way I

am when I meet you? Of course I'm gonna be

on my best behavior and I'm gonna be

polite and everything. It's not who I

really am though. People think they can

judge who I am just by having an

interview. Pfft.

You wish. Yeah,

I'm not gonna tell them I do YouTube. If

they say, how come you haven't worked for

8 years? I'll just say, uh, I was

traveling Asia, I had a wife,

and then I got lucky on the stock market,

but now I ran out of money. Because if I

say I was doing YouTube, they'd be like,

oh, what's your channel? Now I'm not

saying what the job is because then stupid

idiots will go and try and find what job

So then the idiots are like, Daniel, get a

job. And then when I get a job, then

They'll try and dox me, won't they?

Can't win, can I?

Yeah,

I'll just say I did some English teaching

around Japan and I lived with my ex-wife

and she paid for everything. She was my

sugar mama.

You already mentioned the radius. What,

are you gonna message every single

business in Maidstone? Good luck.

Maybe I lied. Maybe it's in Ashford.

Maybe it's in Shittingbourne.

Or Chatham.

Oh, life was so much easier when I didn't

have to get a job. I could just do

YouTube. Where's my fucking YouTube

money?

Barely make anything now.

Well, we're already halfway into August,

and so far I've made like $400.

So at this rate, I'm on track to making

Why is Leeds Castle nowhere near Leeds?

Well, it's called Leeds because it— that

was some Saxon,

Anglo-Saxon family name, was something

like Esclides, and And then they just

changed it, modernized it to Leeds.

How do you make such little money with 150

viewers? Because no one fucking donates.

Got no don't, not even one dollar. That's

why I gotta get fucking job.

I thought maybe I'd do a stream after the

interview when I walk home because it's

only like 10 kilometers. I used to do that

easily in Japan. I might do that tomorrow.

Walk home stream, talk about how it went.

I might get a car as well, I don't know.

Maybe I feel good about the interview, I

stay around Maidstone, get my own car.

Maybe I drive the car home and stream it.

Oh, thanks, R. Gary. Finally some moolah.

Go on electric bike. Yeah, but I need to

ask my mum for the stupid— I hate it, I

have to ask my mum to do anything. I'm a

grown man. I don't have to ask my mum,

oh, mummy, can I use the bicycle? Oh,

mummy, can you give me a lift? And then

she'll say okay, but then when shit hits

the fan, she'll use it against me and

be like, oh, I helped you, but you didn't

help me. Don't help me then.

Don't need your help. Do it myself. If

that's how you're going to throw it back

at me. She helps you and then

she uses that as like ammunition,

throw it back in your face.

She only helps you to get like moral

superiority so she can use it later.

It's like weaponizing

help somehow. I don't know

how you weaponize helping people, but she

Oh, thanks. Here is $8, you beggar.

Oh, thank God. Now I can get a taxi to my

I don't want people to help me if then

they're gonna use it later to throw it

back in my face. It's like, it's like you

lend someone money thinking, oh,

I'm such a good person because I lent you

money. But then it

feels like you're a slave to that person

because they lent you money.

Don't lend me money then.

That's how China gets you under their

control, like Africa. They'll lend up

loads of money, billions of dollars to

Africa, and now Africa is their bitch

because now they're in debt. That they

can't pay. So China's like, we own you.

I wasn't here for 2 years,

so it's not like she can't cope. With the

house problems if I'm not here? Why does

it matter if I'm— what does it matter if I

help or not?

Most of the time, I mean, I never help

with big problems because I don't know how

to fix problems like heating, water.

There's no hot water coming out the shower

now either, so I had a cold shower instead

of telling her because then she'll be

like, oh, why don't you fix the hot water?

You can't fix anything. Your dad would

know how to fix hot water.

And then she'll be like, oh, I wanna sell

the house, everything's falling apart.

Yeah, that's what happens in that house.

Stuff goes wrong. Name one house where

nothing goes wrong or falls apart. Yeah,

brand new house. Good luck getting a brand

new house with everything new.

I don't know how to fix the hot water.

Oh, thanks, Aeolus.

If you sold your house, you get decent

money. Yeah, but what can you do with that

money? You can use it to get another house

which is of the same value, then it's just

the same. What's the point? You sell one

house to get another house that's the

same, or you downsize and you get a newer

house that's half the size. Okay, now

you've got a new house, but it's a tiny

crappy house, isn't it?

Yeah, it's exactly why I kept going to

Japan, keep flying to Asia,

because I can't live here.

That's why I can never stay here for

longer than a couple months before I start

going insane.

It's either I stay here and I just get

emotionally, verbally abused every couple

months, or I get a job and I move out and

then I just live the England life like

everyone else here, or I fly off to Asia

to try and get a girlfriend or a wife.

Those are the only 3 options. They all

suck, to be honest.

The Asia digital nomad option is

so difficult when you're broke and life is

horrible. Who wants to live

in a hotel room or a dormitory

full of 20 smelly people or a horrible

I'd go crazy. I think maybe the England

life is better because you can get a

better quality of life. Like, I could get

an apartment, but then you gotta work

because this YouTube thing doesn't make

The last guest house was horrible. What

are you talking about? Hated it.

The American guy was I was— I felt like I

was gonna go absolutely crazy because

of him. Who the hell stays up and has

phone calls at 3 AM in the middle of the

night and doesn't care about his

neighbors? What a dickhead.

That's why I'm so depressed all the time.

In hindsight, I should have just stayed

with Chihiro. I had the visa and

everything. Chihiro wasn't too bad to live

I thought at the time, I thought the

YouTube fame would last forever and I'd

never have to worry about money. Just go

live wherever I wanted to.

If I knew, if I knew back then that the

channel would die in like 5 years, I would

have thought very differently and very

I didn't know. I thought I was gonna be

like the next PewDiePie. Million subs,

make $10K a month, everyone loves me.

I didn't know this stupid channel was

gonna die.

Get a job? I would happily get a job, but

I need a car to go to the interview. But I

can't get a car because I can't get to the

dealership. And then when I go to the

dealership with my mum, we never end up

getting a car. I went to the dealerships

yesterday with her. It was like a massive

waste of time. I don't know what we're

doing. Where's the car? I've got £3,000

on my credit card.

Whatever, just get that crappy Ford Focus.

I don't give a shit. Don't care if it's

got scratches or the paint's peeling.

I miss Asia because you don't need a car,

you just get on the train. Or you get an

Uber or a Grab.

I don't know why it's so hard to get a

I miss Bangkok.

Hike to your job interview. I'm actually

thinking of doing that. I've got to wake

up at 6 AM. I think if I leave the house

at 6:30, give me plenty of time in case

I get tired and I slow down. I reckon

I could get there in like 2 and a half

hours.

But then how do I get home? I mean, I

don't really care about getting home

because I won't have a deadline to meet.

I can just take my time.

Yeah, that's a problem. You hear so many

stories, people, they think they got a

cheap car for like $4K, and then the thing

is a donut and it breaks down all the

time. And then the person who sold it is

like, oh, tough luck, you agreed.

And then you get screwed, and then you go

into debt because you gotta try and fix

the car, and you gotta sell the car

because it's rubbish. That's what's scary

about getting a car.

And then I was thinking, like, should I

get an EV? Because I talked to the Hyundai

guy and he was like, yeah, if you

drive 20 miles a day, 5 days a week, in a

month you would have to charge the Hyundai

Kona like 2 times and it would cost you

£10. And I thought, wow, only £10 charging

the car when it would cost like £100

for petrol.

But then the actual price of an EV is way

more expensive than the price of a cheap

petrol car, and the insurance is expensive

as well compared to a cheap petrol car.

And then if I get an EV, I need to get the

home charger thing installed, and then my

mum would be like, oh, you're drilling

holes in the house for the charger. Oh,

it's going to cost my electricity.

Yeah, I'll give you the money. It's like

£10 to charge an EV. You charge it

overnight off-peak rates, it'll cost like

7p per kilowatt. But she doesn't

understand any of this. She's like, oh,

what's a kilowatt? My God.

I just— I can't communicate with her.

It's impossible,

because if she doesn't understand, she

won't listen, and then she thinks I don't

know what I'm talking about when I

literally spend all day researching this

stuff.

So I thought I'd get an EV.

Cheap EV would be like the Peugeot e-208.

It's only about £10k, insurance is really

cheap, it's a small car so

it's easy to drive, but people say the

range is rubbish. But it's okay, I'm not

going to do like 200-mile road trips, I'm

just driving 20 miles a day,

so maybe that seems good. And then I

thought, but if you get that, I might as

well just get a Tesla because it's not

that much more expensive. But then I don't

really want a Tesla because they're big

cars. Teslas are pretty big. They're very

wide and long. I don't

need such a big car. I don't have a

family. And also the insurance is double

the cost of a cheaper EV because it's a

luxury car and because it does 0 to 60

in just 4 seconds. That's dangerous,

so insurance is more expensive.

Stupid Tesla car, isn't it?

And Peugeot does 0 to 60 in 10 seconds,

which is really slow, which is why the

insurance is cheaper.

Uh, I don't know what to do.

And then if I get an EV and I move,

I can't charge it at home anymore unless

I've got off-street parking. But if I get

a cheap crappy apartment, it's not gonna

have off-street parking. And to get

off-street parking, I have to pay a lot of

money to get a nice place.

And obviously I can't just drill in the

wall if I rent a place. So where am I

gonna charge it? Sit in the public charger

for an hour? So maybe the EV is not a good

idea. Just get a petrol car.

But it would be £100 a month petrol.

Get Toyota hybrid. Ah, they're expensive.

They're £5K, but then they've got like

200,000 miles because they used to be

taxis. And if they got lower mileage,

they're like 10K. If it's 10K,

I might as well get a Tesla then. It's not

cheap at all.

It's either you get an expensive car and

then the fuel costs are lower, or you get

a cheap crappy car and then the expenses

are higher because it might break down or

something and the petrol is expensive.

So in the end, it comes back to the same.

You're not saving money.

You're just spending— you're saving money

in one area, but then you're spending more

money in a different area. So in the end,

you're not saving anything. It's exactly

the same as if you just get a cheap petrol

Yeah, maybe I just go for the interview

tomorrow and then I get the car whilst I'm

in Maidstone. I mean, my sister's husband

got a cheap crappy car and it seems fine,

gets him from A to B.

I just— I don't really know what to say.

I go to the dealership, I'm like, so is it

a good car? Obviously he's

gonna say yes.

Oh, thanks, David. I'll drive you to the

interview for free. I live nearby.

I don't know.

I'd be scared.

So there's an app, CarVertical.

You enter the registration of the car and

it will show you its history, but it costs

money. It costs like £10 or something per

search. According to that guy on YouTube,

you're supposed to do that before buying a

new car or used new car.

Sunny can drive you. I don't think Sunny

wants to meet anymore.

She seems scared of me.

Like she's scared if we get

serious, then I might cheat on her or

something, and then she'll be upset.

I don't know. It's like what they say in

the stock market: past performance doesn't

in in dictate future performance,

or whatever they say. Something like that.

Eel drive you to interview for free. I

live nearby. Oh, thanks.

Very generous.

So now I've got no money, no jobs, no car,

no girlfriends. Got nothing.

I don't

want to go back to Asia because I'm sick

and tired of flying and traveling, living

out of a backpack.

I'm just tired of

everything. I hate

everything. I hate traveling. I hate

living here. I hate the idea of having to

live in Maidstone.

There's no way out. Everything sucks.

I hate having to rely on people.

I just want to do everything myself.

But it's so hard.

I just want peace. And people to not be

like, you owe me, you gotta do this.

I don't wanna have to answer to anyone,

but it's impossible.

Gotta answer to a boss, a wife, a parent.

I hate it.

I think I wake up 6 AM tomorrow and I just

start walking. I don't know if I stream

it. I might stream it. Or I

might get the taxi actually and then

stream walking home. Is it too late to get

I could probably make the money back from

streaming walking home, or half of

it at least.

Book the taxi. If I book it like half 8,

I should get there at 9. I don't

want to get there too— I mean, it's kind

of early though to get there at 9.

I could look at cars whilst I wait.

Imagine I spend £40 on a taxi, I don't get

the job, and I just blew £40 for nothing.

And then you move away from abusive

parents, abusive boss, to abusive partner.

Yeah, I'm not going to get a taxi home.

Because that would be £80. I'll have to

walk home. I don't mind walking home.

I'll just take my time. But I need to get

to the interview on time, don't I? I'm a

bit nervous if I walk to the interview,

it will take longer than I think.