This is the biggest regret of my life

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life.

For example, I didn't go to— I didn't go

to college or university. I didn't put any

effort into my schoolwork. I didn't

put any effort or time into trying to get

a decent job. I didn't learn any skills or

trades that I could use to get a decent

job. I lost 2 years of my life to World of

Warcraft, and because of that, I lost my

school friends and I damaged the

relationships between me and my family. I

also secretly used my dad's PayPal account

to buy hundreds and hundreds of pounds

worth of gold on World of Warcraft. So as

you can see, I've made a lot of mistakes

in my life, but there's, there's one thing

that makes those things look like fish in

a bucket. I don't know what that means.

The one thing that I regret most in life

would be deleting the nude photos that my

ex-girlfriend sent me and deleting the sex

videos that I took with my ex-girlfriends.

So you might be thinking, that's a pretty

dumb reason to have as your number one

biggest regret of your entire life. But

I'm not joking, because a few months later

or a year after you've broken up with your

girlfriend, trust me, you're going to want

to see those nude videos and those nude

photos. So the first time a girl ever sent

me a nude photo of herself was My very

first girlfriend, the Japanese girlfriend

who I had an online relationship with,

but I never actually met in real life,

and I got her to send me several nude

photos of herself. I gave her instructions

on what kind of poses to do, and she got

onto all fours, and then she touched

herself, and she did everything that I

asked her to do. And I saved these photos

into this hidden folder on my computer.

At the time, it was 2009, and I didn't

have a smartphone, so I had to save all of

these photos onto my computer, and I got a

bit scared because sometimes my computer

used to crash and go wrong, and I needed

to ask my dad for help to fix my computer.

And I used to get scared that my dad will

accidentally find this hidden folder, and

then he'll see all of these nude photos of

this Japanese girl. Anyway, after she

dumped me and left me for this other guy,

I decided to delete every single photo I

had of her, which now that I think back on

it, I really regret doing that. I wish I

saved at least a few photos just so I can

look at them later. I was just so upset

and I wanted to forget about her. I wanted

to delete every trace of her from my

computer, and I decided to delete every

single photo, including the nudes. Okay,

so fast forward to 2013. I was having this

relationship with this married Japanese

woman, and I actually took a few videos of

us having sex. She saw me filming her. I

wasn't like secretly filming her. I'm not

that weird. I'm not some kind of creep. I

was just holding my phone like this,

filming vertically, and I took some very

close-up shots of us doing it. And for

some reason, after we finished, after I

calmed down, I decided to delete every

single video. I have no idea why. I

deleted the videos. I thought it was just

too weird. It was the first time I ever

filmed myself having sex, and it was just—

I guess I was just weirded out by it, and

I just— I decided to delete all of the

videos. And then one year later, when I

had a different girlfriend, I filmed us

having sex again, and then I also deleted

the videos straight away after we finished

for, I guess, the same reason. I was

weirded out by it. So I decided to delete

them. I was also kind of scared that my

next girlfriend would somehow find these

videos and then get really upset and angry

with me. I just feel so stupid. I could

have saved it to some kind of hidden

folder. I could have uploaded it to

Dropbox or Google Drive or some other

website where I could upload files to. I

didn't have to delete everything just

because I was scared that my next

girlfriend might find it. I keep trying

really hard to remember what those videos

looked like, but it's, it's been over 5

years now. It's been a long time, and my

memory isn't as good as it used to be.

Just why did I delete them?

God, just stupid. It's just weird because

when you have a girlfriend and you're

having sex with her on a daily basis, you

just you start to stop caring about it.

You start to take it for granted. You stop

caring about seeing her naked or having

sex with her. But then after you break up

with her, it's like you want it. You crave

her again so badly. It's like, it's like

imagine someone gave you a chocolate cake

and then you ate chocolate cake every day.

And then one day this big, tough, mean guy

takes away your chocolate cake. All of a

sudden you really want to eat chocolate

cake again. But you can't because it's

gone. This is my leg. Look how skinny

my legs are. Look, it's not even a proper

leg. It looks like a fake leg, doesn't it?

My mum used to call my legs chopsticks.

You think, you think these are chopsticks?

They're my legs, for fuck's sake. Do they

look like chopsticks to you? I'll show you

proper chopsticks.

These, these are chopsticks.

You think, you think chopsticks can do

that? I'm sorry,

I've just been very stressed out these

last few days. Something happened and

it's— I don't think I'm allowed to talk

about it. But, um, you know, sometimes you

find things, you find out things that you

wish you didn't find out about. Sometimes

you look at something that you're not

supposed to be looking at, and then you

find out something that gives you

nightmares. Do you know what I'm talking

about? It's like you, you think you know

someone, and then you lift up the rock,

and then underneath the rock there's just

loads of disgusting shit and worms and

bugs crawling around, and you just, you

You wish that you didn't touch the rock in

the first place. You wish you just left

the rock alone without picking it

up because, because it's

just disgusting. You see all the worms

crawling around underneath the big rock

and it's just like, ugh, you want to set

it on fire. Sometimes it's just best not

to know everything. Sometimes it's best

not to know the truth because the truth

can be ugly. And it can scar you.

I think that I'd rather just not know

because knowing what I found out didn't

really help achieve anything. Just made me

feel like shit. What did I gain by by

finding out about that? I didn't gain

anything.

Do I look like someone who's gained

something? No. All I have is this

2-day-old curry. Look at it. It looks like

cat food. Ugh, I don't even know if I want

to eat that. So my advice to you guys is

if you see your partner's phone lying

around unlocked and you feel tempted to

take a sneaky peek, just don't do it.

Don't, don't look at it. Just lock it so

you don't get tempted. Just look the other

way because you're not going to like what

you find. It's not gonna be pretty.

You're going to wish that you never looked

at it in the first place. And for the love

of God, if you ever take nude photos or

sex videos with your ex-girlfriends,

don't delete them, because trust me,

you're going to want to see them later.

Okay, thanks, bye.

Mm-hmm, got some curry,

tasty curry. 2-day-old curry.

Where's my bowl?

Mmm. Mew. Some tasty curry.

Gonna put it in this bowl.

Look at that delicious curry. Who else

wants some curry? I can— I

can give you some of my curry. You sure

you don't want some of that? Are you sure?

Looks so tasty.

Here you go, I'll give you a spoonful.

Open wide.

My girlfriend said, why don't you eat the

curry with bread? I said, bread? You don't

eat curry with bread. She said, sure you

do, Japanese people eat curry with bread

all the time. I said, Japanese people are

weird. I mean, who eats bread with curry?

That's just weird, isn't it?

Mmm. I don't need carbs with my curry. I

don't need rice. Or bread because there's,

there's already potatoes in the curry.

The potatoes are carbs. Do you not know

anything about curry? I mean, it's not

difficult. It's not rocket science. It's

just curry.

We have potato and carrots

and beef and onions.

We also have my special ingredients when

it comes to making curry: celery!

Let me try and find a piece of celery.

Here we go. That is celery, not onion,

and I think celery goes really well with