Recording
Disgusting Japanese Lasagna in a box [-CDVy2X6zag]
2018-12-10 · 16 min
Machine transcript · wording, timing and speaker attribution may be wrong
Wording, speaker labels, and timestamps can still be wrong. A transcript does not establish that statements in the recording are factual. Use the source links and surrounding context.
Source information & transcript revisions
Transcript revisions
- rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49Machine-generated and unreviewed; may be wrong; not a verified quotation.enraw_asractive132 segments
Transcript
Hmm, it says creamy bolognese.
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0:01–0:04 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_0Oh,
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0:10–0:10 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_1look! What? This isn't lasagna,
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0:15–0:18 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_2it's just pasta.
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0:19–0:20 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_3Oh, everything's wrong in Japan.
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0:22–0:24 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_4When you think of lasagna, you think of
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0:27–0:28 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_5big square sheets of lasagna pasta.
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0:28–0:32 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_6This just looks like ravioli. So they gave
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0:34–0:37 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_7me tomato-based sauce,
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0:37–0:40 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_8and they gave me little pieces of plastic.
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0:43–0:45 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_9It looks like plastic, doesn't it? Should
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0:45–0:47 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_10we move over to the kitchen? Do do do do
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0:48–0:51 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_11Let me get the instructions.
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1:10–1:11 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_12Doop doop doop doop doop doop doop. It
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1:20–1:22 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_13says fry the meat and then add water and
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1:23–1:27 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_14the pasta and then cook it for about 5
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1:27–1:30 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_15minutes on medium heat and then add the
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1:30–1:32 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_16pasta sauce and then put it into a dish
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1:32–1:35 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_17and bake it. I guess I could put cheese on
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1:36–1:39 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_18top. I can put grated cheese on top of it.
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1:39–1:43 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_19Smells like
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1:46–2:04 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_20bacon. This is pork,
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2:04–2:08 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_21not beef. Pork mincemeat.
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2:08–2:12 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_22Plus half the price of beef mincemeat.
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2:12–2:13 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_23Japanese people don't eat beef mincemeat
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2:15–2:17 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_24much, so it's more expensive, and it
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2:18–2:21 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_25comes in smaller packages.
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2:22–2:22 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_26Cooking my meat.
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2:39–2:40 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_27So strange, it's all sloppy and
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2:43–2:47 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_28the meat's soft but the pasta's hard.
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2:48–2:49 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_29Never cooked pasta like this before.
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2:52–2:54 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_30Do you have a microwave? Yes, we do.
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3:02–3:04 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_31We also have this, this new stove,
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3:08–3:11 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_32electric stove. Looks pretty
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3:11–3:14 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_33cool. Not sure why it's on the floor.
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3:15–3:19 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_34Oh, it's because we don't have any sockets
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3:20–3:22 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_35to plug it in here, so it has to go on the
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3:23–3:24 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_36floor. This is
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3:25–3:29 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_37a weird lasagna. I thought
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3:29–3:33 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_38it would be plastic. I mean, I thought it
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3:33–3:35 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_39would be square sheets of pasta, not these
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3:35–3:38 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_40little things.
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3:38–3:39 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_41I think you're right, I need more water.
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3:49–3:50 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_42It's evaporating. Oh, where's my glass
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3:50–3:53 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_43dish? My lasagna bowl.
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3:53–3:56 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_44It says—
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3:57–4:02 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_45oh, it says 300 milliliters of water.
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4:03–4:05 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_46Yeah, I need more water. How much water is
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4:11–4:14 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_47in this cup? How many milliliters?
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4:14–4:15 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_48Okay, we're going to add the tomato sauce
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4:50–4:54 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_49in soon.
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4:54–4:55 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_50Oh, why is it orange? I thought it'd be
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5:05–5:08 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_51red, like tomato red. Looks like
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5:08–5:12 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_52Turn the
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5:21–5:31 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_53heat down.
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5:33–5:34 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_54Starting to stick to the frying pan.
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5:47–5:48 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_55Oh look, it looks like a bit more like
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5:50–5:53 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_56lasagna now. It's a bit orangey. What do
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5:53–5:57 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_57Who wants some? Lunch at my place,
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6:01–6:04 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_58everyone's invited.
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6:05–6:06 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_59Smells good. I'm starting
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6:09–6:12 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_60to get hungry.
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6:12–6:13 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_61Bro, do you know what we need? A little
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6:17–6:19 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_62bit of basil. Where's my basil?
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6:20–6:23 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_63It smells really good, actually.
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6:30–6:32 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_64Lots of basil.
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6:34–6:35 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_65Why does your food always look gross?
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6:40–6:42 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_66And I want some black pepper.
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6:47–6:48 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_67Black pepper.
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6:50–6:51 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_68Mm, look at that.
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7:05–7:08 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_69Daniel doesn't know how to cut broccolini.
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7:19–7:21 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_70I think it looks pretty Pretty good.
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7:27–7:35 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_71I'm going to give it a quick taste.
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7:41–7:43 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_72Quick taste.
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7:46–7:47 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_73Piping hot.
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7:56–8:05 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_74It's very good. It tastes like
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8:22–8:25 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_75lasagna, not just pasta,
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8:26–8:29 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_76but actual lasagna.
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8:29–8:30 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_77Okay, next step.
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8:42–8:44 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_78Um, I need to put it in this dish.
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8:48–8:49 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_79Beach lasagna.
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9:21–9:30 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_80And we need cheese. Let me get my cheese
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9:38–9:41 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_81out.
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9:41–9:41 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_82Is cheese expensive in Japan? This cheese
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9:59–10:02 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_83costs 100 yen, it's about a dollar.
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10:02–10:05 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_84Cheese makes everything better,
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10:07–10:10 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_85apart from dick cheese.
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10:12–10:13 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_86Making a mess.
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10:22–10:23 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_87I hope that floor is clean.
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10:30–10:31 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_88What's this?
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10:36–10:46 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_89I don't think it's cheese.
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10:46–10:47 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_90Let's put it into the oven.
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11:16–11:18 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_91Where's the oven? There it is.
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11:22–11:23 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_92We need to keep an eye on this, make sure
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11:44–11:46 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_93it doesn't burn. Sardines go brown. Oh,
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11:46–11:49 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_94oh, oh, it was nearly burning.
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11:49–11:52 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_95Can you hear that sound?
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11:54–11:56 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_96It's the sound of cheese.
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11:58–11:59 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_97Some for me and some
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12:23–12:27 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_98for you. It's a dinner
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12:28–12:31 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_99lunch just for me and you.
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12:31–12:35 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_100This one's for you.
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13:01–13:02 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_101And I'll have the nice one with cheese.
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13:08–13:10 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_102You can have the leftovers. Ouch, it's
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13:11–13:13 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_103hot. Hiding in my room, 100 yen or
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13:14–13:17 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_104something. Hiding in my room, man. What's
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13:17–13:21 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_105up, man? What's up, man? I love it when he
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13:21–13:25 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_106said what's up, man. It made me feel so
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13:25–13:28 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_107warm and fuzzy inside. It was— it
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13:28–13:32 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_108sounded like he was my friend. What's up,
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13:32–13:35 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_109man? It brought a tear to my eye.
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13:35–13:36 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_110He said
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13:48–13:53 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_111nice to meet you.
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13:53–13:54 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_112Nice to meet you. Nice. What's up,
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13:57–14:00 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_113man?
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14:00–14:00 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_114What's up, man?
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14:04–14:06 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_115Sounds disgusting.
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14:12–14:13 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_116I can't wait until my mouth gets better.
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14:15–14:17 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_117It's painful.
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14:18–14:19 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_118I have 2 ulcers on my bottom gum.
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14:28–14:31 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_119I have a lump, painful lump on my tongue,
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14:32–14:34 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_120which is almost gone. Swollen gum from
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14:35–14:38 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_121my wisdom tooth.
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14:38–14:39 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_122Okay, this is going straight in the bin.
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14:54–14:56 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_123Look at it.
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14:56–14:57 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_124Looks like cat vomit.
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15:00–15:01 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_125Oh, oh, oh my gosh.
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15:05–15:07 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_126You don't have social anxiety like your
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15:13–15:15 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_127wife said. You have anti-personality
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15:16–15:18 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_128disorder. Meaning sociopath.
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15:18–15:27 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_129You should do all the things you shouldn't
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15:28–15:30 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_130do in Japan, but in public.
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15:30–15:32 · rev_a20e92d64f4ffcebd3c6ec140b3b6b49_131