[2022-09-29] Why i regret cheating on my wife 247 times [upG_DbeVgRk]

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Hmm. Okay.

It says now would be a good time to insert

ads, but I just started. I'm not

gonna insert ads right away. I thought

maybe when I go to the toilet I could

insert ads. That could be a good idea.

You need to come on live during the

daytime. I was live on my Twitch channel

today testing out some new gear I got.

This is my Twitch.

Ah, damn, I spelled it wrong. Wait,

let me promote my Twitch.

Don't, don't use that link.

Is it working? That link?

You cheated on your wife over 200 times?

Probably around that number. It's just

like a ballpark figure. But I thought

today we would go through each time I

cheated in vivid detail. And I've

got this handy notepad here ready.

So we're going to start off with number 1

from the best I can remember, the very

first one. Then we go to number 2, number

3, and we'll be giving names to each girl.

Not actual names, but, you know, like Hong

Kong Woman or Fat Japanese Girl Number 1.

So we can make it easy to remember. I

think it'd be quite fun and

we can have like a timeline. That's my

plans for the evening. Hope that sounds

fun.

As a loyal and devoted husband, I am so

sorry that I cheated.

I had a lapse in judgment.

Who else is seeing that Twitter drama?

You know, there's that YouTube channel

called the Try Guys, and there's 4 of

these really hipster kind of SJW guys.

One of them cheated on his wife, and it's

like a big deal. And they kicked him off

the Try Guys and it's all over Twitter

because apparently his thing was being

like a loving husband and showing how much

he loves his wife. And he made videos,

you know, saying how much he loves his

wife and all that stuff when in secret he

was having this fling with this assistant

who works for the company this whole time.

So he's had his fingers in multiple pots

of honey. And he had to make like an

apology statement and then he had to leave

the Try Guys. This is so funny how, oh,

oh, I have to be really careful about my

PR and I have to apologize

and do the right thing and leave the Try

Guys. And Try Guys had to kick him off so

they don't look bad. It's so dumb.

I mean, I'm like, yeah guys, I cheated on

my wife like 100 times. So what? What are

you gonna do? Gonna dislike my video. Oh

no. And then these Try Guys are

like, ah, so silly.

It's so funny when these big YouTubers get

caught cheating and then they're like

scrambling to save their reputation and

their public image with their stupid fake

apologies. He's not sorry. I mean, he had

a good time screwing two women at the same

time, didn't he? He's just sorry he got

caught, and now he's getting kicked off

Try Guys. But it's not like when he was

cheating, he was crying. Oh, my poor wife!

He was having a great time. I bet that's

why he was doing it. So silly.

Women will never learn.

What do I regret doing to your wife?

Um, there's many things I regret not doing

to her. I guess I regret— um,

don't know,

off the top of my head, I can't really

think of anything straight away. What do

you think I should have regretted? Maybe I

regret not using her more in videos. But

the problem was I was kind of scared that

people would like her more and then they

would only watch the channel because of

her. And then I'd become like kid behind

the camera and angry grandpa. People were

only watching for angry grandpa. I didn't

want my whole channel to be like the

Chihiro Show. And it was becoming like

that because I asked her to make a few

videos and they got okay views, but they

got like 96% like to dislike ratio and

everyone loved her. Everyone's like,

yeah, more Chihiro, we don't want to see

Daniel. And then when Chihiro

was no longer on the channel, they all

effed off, didn't they? Idiots. Yeah,

well, why didn't they go and watch

Chihiro's channel then? They love Chihiro

so much. How come Chihiro's videos only

get like 2K views?

But now I'm like stuck in this situation

where the only thing that gets views is

when I talk about Chihiro. I don't know if

talking about Mila would get views. I have

talked about her a few times, but for some

reason there's not a lot to talk about

Maybe I can do something like, um,

how my ex-girlfriend ruined my life,

something like that. And then I'll put a

picture of us on the thumbnail since

I got nothing to lose anymore. How did you

get so many women? It's over 200 times.

Or was it a lot of the same ones? Would

you consider that each time

you have sex would count as one,

or would you say one would count as one

woman? Because it's not 200 women.

It's probably not 200 times. I don't know

exactly how many times. It's probably at

least 100 times.

Maybe.

Do you think you're a good person? No,

not really. But I've kind of accepted the

fact that it doesn't really matter if

you're a good person or not. I used to

think it was important to be a good

person. Now I kind of feel like it doesn't

matter and

I might as well just be a shit person and

be honest about it.

I'm not as much of a bad person as a lot

of other people out there. You know, I

don't, I don't murder and I don't do, I

don't do illegal things. And I don't

steal, so I'm not that bad on the scale of

things. Go to Japan again. I will.

I definitely will. I'm getting my 3rd

vaccination tomorrow so I can get into

Japan without taking PCR tests.

She would have stolen his viewers. She

tried, didn't she try? She made a Discord,

she made an Instagram, she made a channel.

But looks like she's given up. See, not

easy making YouTube videos, is it?

Everyone thinks, oh, Daniel doesn't work,

he just makes stupid rubbish videos and

calls it his job. Well, if it's so easy,

how come Chihiro gave up and Hong Kong Guy

gave up and Tomoko gave up and Kanaeito

gave up and Turkish Girl, where's her

channel? Where's Shin's channel? Where's

everyone's channel? Like, name one person

who hasn't given up. Everyone gave up and

ended up deleting all the videos or just

disappearing. Cowards. Weaklings.

I'm still here grinding out the videos and

doing my livestreams, even if I get less

views. People say it's easy.

If it's so easy, why don't you do it then?

What's stopping you from doing it if you

think it's so easy? And then they say,

oh, I don't want to be a YouTuber. I bet

you would want to if you could,

because if you could become a YouTuber,

why would you not want to?

People just trying to make coping

statements.

Everyone that I tried to like bring into

my network and I encouraged to make videos

and a channel, they all ended up

disappearing because they don't have what

it takes to stick to it.

It's like the process of filming and

streaming is easy because I just sit here

and I chat. It's not technically

difficult, but to want to keep doing it on

a consistent basis, not everyone

can do it. It takes special— a special

I have plans for when Ice Poseidon returns

to Japan, but don't tell him my plans.

I got devious plans.

Don't tell T-Kyo Sam either, because T-Kyo

Sam's got a big mouth and he's going to

blab to Ice. And I know Ice talks to Sam

because he was like, oh, I know people in

Japan. There's this guy called T-Kyo Sam

and he speaks Japanese.

They think they can leave me out of the

cool guy club just because I'm not

energetic and I'm a bit weird. We'll see

who's laughing. I'll know exactly where

he is in Tokyo.

That's my evil laugh. Oh wow, I scheduled

my livestream for exactly 9

Wait, is it? I scheduled my livestream for

exactly 2111.

11 minutes past 9 in military time is

2111. See, you can't—

you can't fake this stuff. You can't

script this stuff. This just is natural.

A bit weird. Ice called me a weirdo.

Called me a fucking weirdo.

Not very nice, is it? I'm his biggest fan.

Okay, so I'll put an entry into the

notepad. Um, the first time I ever cheated

on my wife, I remember it vividly.

So actually, I cheated on her straight

after the first date with Tomoko.

Now, I don't know if you technically call

that cheating. It kind of is because after

on our first date with Chihiro. We held

hands and we kissed, but she wouldn't let

me do anything more on the first date. So

we were pretty intimate straight away from

the first date. But then 2 days later, I

slept with Tomoko 4 times.

So would you say that's cheating? It's

kind of Devious, isn't it?

If you went on a date and you really liked

the guy and you were holding hands and

kissing, and then you find out a few days

later he slept with someone else, would

you be hurt or upset?

Possibly. And then the second time,

there were many times whilst I was dating

her that I slept with other women. At the

guesthouse. I think I brought back— I

brought back one Japanese girl to the

guesthouse. That was so embarrassing

because I had to like sneak her in and

luckily no one was around to, to see us.

So I'd say there

were a few others I forgot now. Fat

Japanese. Girl at guest house.

And then there was another Japanese girl.

I took her up to a Ferris wheel even

though she said she was scared of heights,

but I took her there anyway. And then I

kissed her and then took her to karaoke.

And that was when I was living with

Chihiro. So I call her chubby Japanese

girl on Ferris wheel.

That was one of my best dates. She was

wearing a Harry Potter Gryffindor scarf.

And her hair was so stiff, like bristles

on a broom. I swear that hair could scrub

a greasy, oily plate clean. Her hair was

so brittle, like really stiff and

hard.

Wait, let me check if it's still

monetized.

Yeah, we're fine.

Um, okay, number 4.

How many other dates did I have? I had

quite a few dates whilst dating

Chihiro. Before we started living

together, but not all of them went. Oh

yeah, there was that other fat Japanese

girl. Fat Japanese girl

on hair salon floor.

So that one, she was the owner.

I think she said owner of like this hair

hair salon beauty place where they do

nails and stuff. We went on a date. She

went to Moss Burger, got food, and then

she took me back to her hair salon. Which

was empty because she didn't have any

clients at that time until the evening.

And then we went to a hair salon, we had

food and we just started chatting. And

then I did my moves, which involved asking

her if I could kiss her. I think we were

talking about clubbing and talking about

how some guys are very forward and they

pick up, do pickup and they flirt with

girls. And then for some reason I just

asked her, can I kiss you? And she was

like, no. And she laughed. But then she

moved her seat over next to mine,

came very close to me, and I thought,

okay, I'm just going to kiss her. Even

though she said no, she's sat right next

to me now. So then we started kissing and

I put my hands in certain places and we

did it on the floor. And if you're an

old-time— I mean, a long-term viewer,

you'll remember I did a random livestream

in Osaka on the streets looking very happy

with myself. And I wasn't talking about—

for some reason, I don't think I talked

about it on the stream. I think back then

I was scared to talk about that stuff.

You violated her consent? No, I asked for

verbal consent. She said no, but then She

gave me physical consent by kissing me

back because I kissed her. If she didn't

want to kiss, she would have leaned back,

but she leaned into the kiss and kissed me

back and let me touch her. So that is a

green light.

Okay. I feel kind of annoyed I blocked

her afterwards because she messaged me

saying. She wants to meet again and, you

know, take it a bit more slowly.

But she was so huge. She was so fat.

Probably one of the fattest girls I ever

Okay, who's next? This first— the first

10, I would say, would be my Tinder

rampage. Because I had like a flurry of

Tinder dates in the first week that I

arrived in Japan. And Chihiro

was one of them that I met in the first 2

weeks.

Who else was there?

I swear there was more.

There's Tomoko, the fat one at the

guest house.

Fat Japanese girl on the floor.

Maybe that was it.

Oh yeah, there was that old Japanese woman

in the karaoke.

She wasn't that old. She was like 40, but

she was definitely the oldest of the

bunch. And then,

yeah, we did it in the karaoke, which is

kind of crazy now I think about it. I

can't believe I did that. I just pulled

her panties down in the karaoke and she

was okay with it. She must— I don't know

if she knew that karaoke has CCTV in it

and it has like a security guy watching

each of the screens. I wonder if

he's watching it. Just watching us doing

it in the karaoke is so weird. I bet

he's used to it. I bet loads of people do

it in the karaoke. Who else has done it in

Why are you doing this? It's so petty.

Well, I think you guys will find this

interesting, and I think it's a fun

topic. It's not about pettiness.

I'm not being petty or trying to, like,

hurt people. I'm just trying to think of a

fun topic. And since you guys don't seem

to care about my bike video,

watch my bike video. It was my best video

ever and you didn't watch it.

Gonna go on another bike stream tomorrow,

so follow my Twitch if you want to see it.

I got a— I got a LiveU solo encoder.

Report this stream. Okay, Gunner, you're

dead. I mean, you're done. You're gone.

Timeout. Trying to incite reporting

against me. Everyone report Gunner for

being a dick.

Daniel, we could have helped you come up

with a better topic. No offense, but all

of the suggested topics people have come

up with have not been very good ideas,

like go outside and explore places.

They've always done the worst.

I want to catch the bike stream, then join

my Twitch, because I'll be doing it on

Twitch. I'm thinking I'll start the stream

after my vaccination, so I want to get the

vaccination out of the way with, and then

just have a nice bike ride back home and

stream it and test out my LiveU Solo.

I did a test stream today with the LiveU

and I plugged it into the GoPro, and it

was my first time ever streaming from a

GoPro, and I can't believe how good it

works, how well it works. Does anyone else

use a LiveU Solo?

It's like a box. I'll show you.

Ow.

It's this. It's so tiny. It's like a

little miniature computer case.

And you just plug in the camera. And then

you connect it to a Wi-Fi hotspot, or you

can plug in a modem, and then you can do a

livestream straight from this. It's really

cool. And you can link— you can have 2

modems and the hotspot and also an

Ethernet connection, and you can bond all

of the connections into one really stable,

strong connection.

So I also got some dongles coming and

another SIM card. So I've got 2 SIM cards

and I'm going to try bonding it, see how

good it is, because my plan is I want to

go to Thailand soon and get 3 SIM

cards and bond it all together and

see if we can do some IRL. That'd be

I thought you're gonna stream getting the

vax. I was, but I think it might

not be a great idea to film inside a

pharmacy. I might get in trouble, so I'm

gonna start the stream after I finish

getting vaxxed.

Thailand would be good content.

Hopefully. The problem is, if things go

really well with the Thai girl and I move

in with her, then I'm not going to be able

to do IRL unless I sneak out to

Bangkok and then sneak back home before

she gets back home. Because if she finds

out I've been in Bangkok, she's going to

be like, what were you doing in Bangkok?

Were you meeting girls? Tell me if you

don't like me. Let me know if you want to

meet other girls. She's so, she's so

dramatic and emotional. Today she was

sulking at me because I didn't really

message her a lot. And I didn't—

well, she keeps asking me, what, what are

you doing? What are you doing? What are

you doing? What are you doing? And I keep

saying, I'm watching YouTube, I'm cleaning

my room. And then she gets upset. She

says, oh, YouTube more fun than me?

Keeps nagging me because I don't talk to

her much. There's nothing to talk about.

She says she's crazy about me and really

misses me, and I don't miss her.

And then I keep saying, I do miss you. I

can't wait to meet you. She's doing my

head in. But I really need to

give her more attention. Otherwise I'm

going to lose her before I even get there.

It's really hard work. Keeping some

women happy. I really got to like lay on

the lovey-dovey stuff thickly and give her

phone calls and make

it seem— make her feel like I'm thinking

of her all the time. Such a pain in the

backside. I'm trying to focus on other

things like trying to figure out how to do

a livestream with LiveU solo and trying to

figure out my trip and all

this other stuff. I still haven't gotten

my visa, by the way. Stupid Thai embassy.

It's been 2 weeks since I applied for it,

and then I applied for another one on

Monday, hoping that if I apply for another

one, they might notice it and process it.

But it's been 3 days now, and if,

if they haven't messaged me tomorrow, I'm

going to have to phone them because

actually The tourist visa program ends

in 2 days. On 30th of September, they are

no longer doing the tourist visa program.

They're just shutting it down.

Now, I don't really care because I'm

thinking 30 days would be enough anyway,

and then I can just go over to Japan.

But it would be nice to have the option to

stay for 3 months if I wanted to. It's

just I really want to go to Japan.

Everyone else is going. Ice is going. Who

else is going?

I want to stream snipe Ice again, but this

time stay away

and keep a distance and not actually go up

to him. Because he probably won't really

want me on his stream because I'm not

entertaining enough, I guess.

But it'd be funny if I like follow him

around and then like zoom in on

him and then see if he notices. I really

don't think he would notice. Even if you

go and spam his chat, Daniel's following,

he'd be like, who's Daniel? He probably

doesn't even remember me.

Okay, so who was the next girl?

Was that Japanese woman in the karaoke?

And then I kind of stopped doing Tinder

because I was scared her friends would see

me on it. One of her friends did try to

trick me. She matched me and then she was

like pretending to flirt with me and I

asked her to come to my place and then she

said, well, wouldn't Chihiro be upset?

And then I was like, oh crap. And then she

started having a go at me and then she

threatened to tell Chihiro what I did

unless I tell her. So I said, okay, I'll

tell her, but I never did. I don't know if

the friend told her.

So then after those, there was a bit of

a quiet period, I guess, because I kind of

stopped with the whole dating because

after this one— where is it? The Ferris

wheel one. That one was dangerous because

we went to a hotel and we finished around

8 p.m. Really dangerous because Chihiro

finished at like 7:30. I was running to

the train station, rushing to get the

train, and just by coincidence, Chihiro

was on the same train I was on on the way

back. I got off the train ahead of her.

She saw me going up the stairs and she

caught up to me. She grabbed my elbow,

asked me where I was. I said I was at the

camera store. So after that happened, I

thought, this is way too dangerous. I'm

going to get caught. So I thought maybe I

should stop. So I did stop for a while.

And then fast forward to March, my stupid

YouTube channel blows up and all of a

sudden all these girls are really into me

because I had a bit of YouTube fame.

So the first fangirl that I

had interactions with sexually would be

the Hong Kong woman. And she was like 35,

business— no, I don't know what she did.

It was like some kind of online work,

like a— like she had her own business and

she came to Japan Got

Airbnb near me.

That one was interesting.

She was so skinny and she had very square

shoulders like that. I didn't really find

her very attractive. She was okay looking,

I guess, but for some reason I just wasn't

really into her that much.

She brought some pot noodle from Hong Kong

and she said she was divorced. I mean,

she said she was married, but her husband

didn't know about what she did secretly.

But I didn't really like it that much, so

we only hooked up about 2 times. I went

to her Airbnb once, and then we met

another time, went to a love hotel. Do you

remember we had— me and Chihiro had an

argument and I was in a hotel? I think it

was around October. I forgot what the

argument was, what, what it was about. I

think I livestreamed it calling it I

walked out on my bitch wife. Oh yeah,

I think it was when I joked about making a

Pornhub and then Chihiro was upset and

then I got annoyed because I thought it

was funny and she didn't think it was

funny. And then I was in

the hotel streaming and then the Hong Kong

woman said I can come and stay with her,

but I decided not to and I just stayed in

the hotel because I'm a loyal, devoted

husband, obviously.

The lack of empathy is shocking. Well,

it's been, what, 4 years? I don't really

have any emotions about it anymore. It's

been such a long time. That's like saying,

imagine your dad passed away 10 years ago

and then you're just casually talking

about your dad without looking sad. And

then people say, oh, you— how can you talk

about your dead dad without showing any

emotion? It's because so much time has

passed. It's not really emotional anymore.

Now I can talk about my dad without

really getting emotional because I'm—

I've, I've gotten used to the fact that

he's not around anymore. The emotions are

not really raw anymore.

It happened such a long time ago that

it's, it's not really a big deal

emotionally.

It's just like something that happened in

the past. Are you ever going to talk about

something else? Well, if there's something

else that you guys are interested in more,

then I would talk about it. But

unfortunately, the ex-wife topics get

When I was talking about driving and

stocks, you were all complaining about how

it was boring and people were saying, oh,

please, for the love of God, stop talking

about stocks. Talk about something

else.

Who else was that?

Hong Kong woman, October 2018.

It hasn't been diagnosed, but if you were

to get therapy and record it, should I

secretly livestream? A therapy session.

That could get views if I started secretly

filming stuff. Ice does

it. Maybe I could do it too.

Do you plan on working in the future? No.

I just invested in a live view solo,

so I'm going to be doing more Twitch

streams, and I'm going to do more cycling

stuff. Hopefully get some funny clips

to put on my TikTok. I started my TikTok

again, so I got some funny clips to put on

it. We want interpersonal drama. Yeah,

I know, but when I start telling

you the drama, people start calling me a

psycho and stuff,

so I can't win. If I don't talk about it,

then I'm boring. If I do talk about it,

then I'm a psycho.

But that is the life of a YouTuber. You

don't get to pick what you talk about,

even though it seems like you should be

able to. No one's forcing me apart from

the algorithm. As a

YouTuber, the algorithm has a gun to your

head all the time, and if you don't do

what it says, you, you're screwed.

As a creator, you're screwed if you don't

do what the algorithm says. It's the sad

reality.

Everyone gave me such a hard time because

I made all these videos about cheating and

Why I hate my wife, but then that's all

they would click on.

I mean, who who was the sick person? Me or

them? And now I don't have a wife to

make why I hate my wife videos about

anymore. All those people who complain all

the time, they don't watch anything I make

I've been watching the— I've been watching

MrBeast stuff where he talks about how the

algorithm works.

But it's not really stuff I didn't know.

I mean, I already knew this stuff, which

is why I was so good at keeping people

hooked back then, because I knew what

people wanted to see.

I knew it. Back then we didn't have all

this analytical information like we do

So who remembers the next person I cheated

with after Hong Kong woman?

That was 2018 October, and then November

October.

I don't think a lot happened.

There's people here.

So my mum has this friend.

I think she's Polish or something. She's

got two kids. Do you remember last year I

kept complaining about these kids coming

around all the time? And then it was

during the lockdown and some idiot—

because I livestreamed it, I was

livestreaming at the time and I was

complaining, oh, there's kids here, and

some idiot reported us to the police for

having people around during lockdown. The

police came in the middle of the night,

told us the kids had to leave. Can you

believe that? The mum came to drop the

kids off to stay the night. Police come,

said, nope, you can't have kids around.

Told us we had to get the mum to come and

pick them up. So dumb. When you look back

at the lockdown rules, they were so

stupid, weren't they?

God. So the friend divorced the husband,

kicked him out, but she has

to go to work, so she needed someone to

look after the kids. And then my mum just

says yes to anyone about anything. So

obviously she comes to my mum's every time

to drop to look after the kids.

And then recently she had to sell her

house because she can't afford the house

anymore after getting divorced. And then

she got a new boyfriend, and then she has

to move in with the new boyfriend who's

here right now.

And then she brought all her stuff from

her old house to come and put it into our

garage, and now she's collecting it

again, but she Dropped her son here for

the evening. You see, this is why I don't

want friends. Everyone's like, Daniel,

you're weird because you don't have any

friends. This is exactly why I don't want

friends, because they ask for favors,

don't they? And then if you don't do their

favor, they'll think you're a bad friend.

I would not want to be in my mum's shoes

looking after this person's kids and then

storing all her stuff. What's in it for

Why do you want to get involved with

people's personal life problems?

I've got enough things in my own life to

worry about. Now I've got to worry about

someone else's life problems. It's so

weird. I never understand some people.

I feel bad for the kid because he's a nice

kid. I mean, he comes up to me and he

tries to talk to me. And then I've got

like a scary face because I don't smile.

And I feel bad because I'm not happy with

him being here, but then it's not his

fault and he's just a young boy.

But I'm kind of annoyed because I didn't

get to watch Below Deck Mediterranean

tonight because they were sitting on the

sofa. I watch

Below Deck Mediterranean every day. My

favorite show on TV. So excited to watch

the new Charter season. Now I missed it

tonight because I had to hide in my room

whilst I ate dinner. And I missed the

news. So interested, interested in

watching the Channel 4 News tonight to

hear about the pound dropping and

inflation and about Liz Truss. Now I

missed all that too. Ruined all my

I hate it when my schedule gets

interrupted.

Now I lost my train of thought.

Okay, October 2018.

What happened in November 2018?

Does anyone remember?

You can watch the news online. You can't

watch Channel 4 News online. I think they

have a website. I don't think they show

the Channel 4 News live. I want to watch

Channel 4 News live as it's happening.

They've got a clips channel, but I don't

want to watch clips. I want to watch the

What was I saying? Oh yeah, um,

October 2018 was the end of the Hong Kong

woman. Because she got— she became weird.

She said she was in love with me, and then

she said after we met, the magic faded.

And then she went on to Couchsurfer, and

then she started sleeping with guys on

Couchsurfer. And then she was telling me

about, you know, each guy. There was some

French guy, but apparently he had a floppy

dick. And then there was this other guy,

but he was weird. Last I heard, she went

to Mexico and was doing a threesome and

bondage stuff. I don't know what she's

doing now. Do you share a wall with

your mum's bedroom? No, but I share a wall

with her en suite bathroom. So right

behind that wall is her bathroom,

and on the other side of that wall is the

staircase.

Yeah, that Hong Kong woman was weird. She

used to say I'm basically the more

successful female version of you. Yeah,

well, it's not difficult to be successful

when you're a woman when literally,

literally any guy would sleep with you if

you asked them to. And when you're a guy,

it's not so easy, is it? It's not exactly

something to brag about, being a a slut

unless you're a guy, because, you know,

being a slut as a guy has challenges,

especially when you look like this and you

don't have social skills. Women can just

DM some guy and go, wanna fuck? The guy is

probably gonna say yes.

Okay, so Um,

I think— was she the only— was

she the only fangirl that I slept with in

2018? She's probably the first one.

Actually, Tomoko is technically the first

fangirl I slept with.

Oh, thanks, Johanna. Revive your YT page.

No dance, just Yeah, I wonder if it could,

because I saw Ice Poseidon do it and he

took some clips from his streams and some

of them have 100K views. But do people

really click off TikTok to go over to

YouTube? I put some dance clips and I put,

I put a clip of me driving with my mum

screaming in the background. It got 200

views, which is good.

Considering I've only got 40 followers on

my TikTok.

But I don't know if that would actually

drive traffic to my YouTube because

people just flick through TikToks like

it's nothing. For example, there was—

wasn't there like a TikTok creator who has

18 million followers or something? Then

she tried holding a meetup and no one

came. It's because there isn't really this

sense of community around TikTok creators.

They just— people just follow and then

flick through the TikToks and the TikToks

gather millions of clicks. But there's no

community forming around these TikTok

creators.

It just seems kind of a bit faceless.

Maybe I should try and clip some of the,

the most outrageous stuff I say and put it

on TikTok.

What is my TikTok? It is hiding

in my room 1. Number 1,

like a digit 1.

Oops, where's my YouTube thing?

I lost the— oh, there it is.

Oh, thanks, Johanna. No dance. Do clips

from old videos. Pay Fiverr. Pay Fiverr?

Oh, pay someone on Fiverr to edit the

clips? I can do it myself since I have so

much free time. Why not dance clips? It's

funny when I dance.

My highest view on TikTok is about 2,000

views. I think it was— which one?

2,500 views is when I was, I was trolling

Venus Angelic. I sent her a Super Chat and

then I recorded her reaction. She didn't

really have much of a reaction. Where's

she gone? She hasn't made any YouTube

stuff in ages. She used to livestream

Animal Crossing all the time,

but people were making fun of her because

she had like How many— she has 2

million subs and she was getting less than

100 viewers when she streamed Animal

Crossing. Um.

Link it. Okay, I'll link my TikTok.

I've got some funny clips that this guy

made back in 2018. He was like a fan.

He made some funny stuff.

I think that link works. The reason why I

deleted TikTok was because People found

Mila's TikTok, and this really scared me

because at the time, you know, I was still

missing Mila. I was still really into her.

And TikTok algorithm is a bit scary in the

way that it knows what you like.

And I was spending a lot of time watching

clips of girls who looked like Mila. I

swear it kept showing me this girl who

looked just like Mila. She had like the

hippie fashion style, the tattoo, the wolf

stuff and the brown hair.

And it was like the algorithm knew exactly

what I liked and was showing me stuff very

similar to it. And I was scared one day

that the algorithm is going to find Mida's

channel and show it to me. I don't know

how my viewers found Mida's TikTok,

but she had one. She had like a bunch of

TikToks. Just like, I don't know what she

was doing. Lip syncing to songs, I think.

Now I saw some of them and made me feel a

bit upset seeing her again.

Oh, thanks.

What? What if I pay you?

Pay someone here? No, I don't want to pay

people. So I've— I'm trying to save money.

Yeah, maybe that's a good idea. What do

you think would be a good clip to put on

TikTok? When I used to say really weird,

creepy things and

then just clip it into a short 60-second

video.

Mila looks worse now she left you. What

does she look like? Maybe she

misses me. Maybe she's emotionally

traumatized because I spilled all her

secrets. Do you think she knows I spilled

I think she would be upset because I think

she told me not to tell anyone because she

told me some really personal stuff and I

just blabbed it on livestream. Yeah,

well, it's been 2 years. She's never going

to get back with me, so who cares?

I was patient for 2 years hoping that she

would message me again, but she never did.

So if you want to be like that, then

you're not on my side.

People, people abandon me and ditch me and

then expect me to have gentleman's honor.

That's what I don't get.

Buy BRR spend like $20 will make you rich

again. I don't know.

I don't really like paying people to do

stuff for me because they might do it

badly or they might do it wrong.

But it's a nice idea. I did think about

paying someone on Fiverr to write me a

script because there's people on Fiverr

who do that. They'll say, I'll write you a

video essay and it'll have great SEO and

marketing and you'll go viral, blah,

blah, blah. I thought maybe if I come up

with an interesting topic, I can just pay

someone to write a video essay for me

around this topic. I can't even think of a

topic, like an interesting title. Maybe

something like, why, why China,

why China's economy will collapse in 2024.

What does BPD mean? Bipolar. Do you think

Mila has bipolar? I don't think she did.

I think she was just really impulsive and

just did things without thinking much

about it. Kind of like me.

I don't know, actually. I plan a lot

before I actually pull the trigger. For

example, I was planning this Thailand trip

for months before actually buying the

ticket and making it official.

North Stream blown up. Oh yeah, I heard

the pipeline was leaking.

Was it sabotage or an accident?

That would be weird. I mean, it'd be bad

if the pipeline starts leaking into

the ocean.

Oh wow, thanks, Jowan. Dollar dollar.

What do you mean? Where can I elaborate

for less money?

Where? I'm not following

what you mean. Do you mean where can you

message me?

Maybe my Instagram,

but I can do it myself. I'll find the

clips and put it on TikTok. But if you got

ideas for what I should clip, that'd be

good. Maybe from older videos,

or maybe I'll just save the stuff that was

on that meme page about me.

Actually, Elvis the Alien, um,

he collected quite a funny bunch of clips

of me to put in his own video. So I don't

think he could complain if I take the

clips that he made. If I take the clips

that he took from my channel to put on my

TikTok, it would be kind of silly if he

complained about that. Maybe I'll just

download his videos about me and then just

splice out the funny bits that he put.

Like when I got the fish and I put the

broccoli. Yeah, I could say how not to

look after your fish and then I'll put the

clip where I chucked the piece of broccoli

into the fish tank. That was funny.

Create some entertainment facto.

You've changed. What do you mean?

I didn't change. I'm exactly the same.

Did I change in a bad way? Maybe.

BPD is borderline personality. Look it up,

read it to us on stream.

Okay. What is BPD?

Oops, put BPX.

Being emotionally unstable. Check. Having

upsetting thoughts and acting without

Check. Is that it? Just being unstable?

Intense mood swings. Feel uncertainty

about how they see themselves. Feelings

for others can change quickly, swing from

extreme closeness to extreme dislike.

These can lead to unstable relationships

and emotional pain. Yeah, it sounds like

Mina.

Self-harm. No, Mila never did self-harm.

I never saw her— actually, no, wait.

Did she do self-harm?

I'm pretty sure I didn't see scars on her

wrists. Explosive anger. I don't

think she was that much of an angry

person. Chihiro was way angrier.

Following all your accounts is hard work.

Yeah, I got quite a few. I've got 2

YouTube channels, a Twitch channel. Now

I've got a TikTok that I'm trying to work

So the reasoning for Twitch is I want to

do more streams, but I don't want to do

too many streams. Otherwise people are

going to get— people get fed up if I do

too much, but I want to do more streams,

so I'll do that on Twitch. And then if

anything interesting happens on Twitch and

I can edit it into a video and put it onto

YouTube. And the second

channel is just for like shitposting,

trolling stuff like why the Steam Deck

sucks or why this video game sucks. That

kind of stuff. Put that on the second

channel. Then the main channel is for like

my main life events and

stuff about Japan that I think people

would be interested in that I've got some

kind of insight on.

He's a sociopath, no feelings about his

dead dad. Who said that? I never said

that. I was very emotionally traumatized

by that event. If you watch the stream,

you'll see that I cried and I walked off

camera because I nearly lost control

emotionally. What?

I'm in the UK. I've been thinking to meet

you, but not as a date, like a meetup. I

bet you would hate that. I really do see

you as my sweet pessimistic friend. Will

you ever be interested in making a

girlfriend? I don't know.

Can we livestream it? And how attractive

are you? Sounds really weird to ask.

Out of 10, how would you rate yourself?

We watched Daniel grieve his dad. Yeah,

people were so nice back then. Do you

remember how many donations I got when my

dad died and I streamed it? And even

TerryTV was here complaining about how he

thought it was wrong. Now TerryTV

makes videos about murders, so he's

literally profiting off of people dying in

horrific ways. It's funny how people kind

of become hypocrites after enough time

Did I talk to my dad much? Not really.

He never showed any interest in what I was

interested in, and I never showed any

interest in what he was interested in. We

had nothing in common. He liked cars and

engines and mechanical things and

computers,

and I like gaming and anime and Japanese

girls.

Didn't people complain you were profiting

off your dead dad? Yeah, they were, which

is silly. I just did a stream and I talked

about the most important thing that was

happening at the time, which was my dad

passing away. Wouldn't it just be weird if

my dad died and I didn't even stream or

say anything? Just pretended like nothing

happened.

It's been 3 years. My driving

instructor was asking me about it. He

said, is it okay if I ask you about it?

And I said, yeah. He was nice,

the instructor guy. He looked so different

because I saw him recently because I let

him borrow my mum's free tickets to Leeds

Castle. That was before I passed my test.

He came to give the tickets back a couple

of weeks ago and he had a bit of a beard

now and he was wearing trousers and nice

looking— not nice, but like normal

clothing. It's just the entire time that I

knew him when we were doing lessons, he

was just wearing this grey sweaty shirt

and pair of shorts because it was so hot.

So I never saw him looking like

he wasn't just wearing shorts and a shirt.

He looked pretty sophisticated. He looked

different. He asked me if I was going to

buy a car yet. I didn't tell him I'm going

to Thailand. I just said, no, maybe next

year. He must think I'm weird. We just put

in all this effort and hard work to get

you your driving license. And you're not

gonna get a car until next year, okay?

But he doesn't even know what I'm planning

to do. Imagine if he knew I was gonna go

to Thailand and then Japan.

You passed your driving test? Yep, I

passed it on the 30th of August. Zero

minors. And now I'm never gonna drive

again because I've completely lost

interest in driving. Now I want to go back

to traveling. Now Japan is reopening and

the world is you know, forgetting about

COVID I guess. I think this year we're

going to see the last of COVID Next year,

things are going to be pretty much back to

normal when it comes to travel.

Japan's going to reopen, countries are

going to reopen. The only thing I wish for

now is I hope they get rid of these

stupid, oh, you need to get a negative

test. That's so dumb.

Because people go on planes when they're

sick all the time, like they have a cold

or flu and then they pass it around. Why

don't you just make sure no one's sick at

all before they can get on a plane if

you're going to make people do tests?

So I hope they get rid of this testing

stuff next year because it's annoying.

Drive in Japan? I can't be bothered.

I've got to get an international driving

permit. Actually, I might do that tomorrow

since I'm going into town anyway. I could

get it for £5. I got scammed. I bought

this— I accidentally bought a fake

international license. I thought it was

real, and then I Googled the website later

and turned out there were loads of reviews

saying it's a scam. And the list of

countries it says on the website that it's

valid for, they don't even say it's valid

in Japan. So I can't even claim that they

scammed me to my bank because technically

they didn't even say it's valid in Japan.

I stupidly assumed it was. So I got

scammed out of £80 because I wasn't

careful. My bank said, unless you can

prove that it's a scam, we can't get you

the money back because you authorized it.

Yeah, I did. So I have to prove that it's

fraudulent, otherwise they can't help me.

We are the last bastion of your YT and I'm

losing FT. Oh, thanks,

Johanna.

I don't understand what you mean.

We are the last bastion of— do you mean

you're my last followers? Yeah, we lost a

lot of people along the

way throughout the years. We lost many,

but you guys are still here with me.

Well, when I get back to Asia and Japan,

things should get interesting, especially

with this Thai girl. Find out if she's

actually real or not, and then maybe the

old guys will. Maybe the algorithm will

bring people back to the channel.

That's what I'm kind of hoping for.

Where's that person who said we could meet

up? Are you serious?

Because I could bike to