i left germany - back home now-kIADIX0H9kY-E0RSwRiUKUc

Oh,

testing,

testing, testing.

1, 2.

Testing,

testing, testing.

Testing.

1, 2.

Well, I think it's working.

Testing.

Testing.

That was funny.

Testing. Testing.

Okay, I think it's working.

I think it's working.

But for some reason I can't get the chat

to show up on my computer, so I'm looking

at it on my phone. Oh, there it is.

Whoa, just popped out from nowhere.

I'm just trying to get the stream set up,

but the internet's not working very well.

Oh, back to shitty English internet

where I can't even stream properly.

Hello everybody, I'm back home.

I've got lots of money.

Look at all that money.

So thanks for that currency exchange.

I'm gonna do a quick stream, maybe a

couple hours, and then I've got a video to

upload which I'm not sure about because I

don't even know if I should say it.

Um, things with the Turkish girl didn't

end too well. Let's just put it like that.

Uh, me and the Turkish girl didn't part

way— well, we parted ways on good terms,

but then, um, she,

she found— she may have found my

Discord server where I said some Not very

nice things about her on.

I wasn't that rude. All I said was that

she was a little bit annoying, and I

think that was it. I didn't say anything

terrible.

All I said was I didn't really feel very

attracted to her.

And she wasn't very happy about it,

but I'm going to upload the video anyway

because I need money.

My hair looks funny here.

I don't think what I said was too harsh.

I was just being honest.

Oh, Germany was so boring. I had all these

expectations of, oh, life in Germany,

I'm gonna live there until October. Oh, I

hate Brexit because now I can't live in

Germany anymore. Didn't even stay there

for more than 2 weeks, didn't— did I?

Didn't I? Can't believe I was

actually thinking about moving to Germany.

I feel so stupid now. I was actually

seriously thinking about moving to Germany

and living there, not just in a hotel for

a few weeks, but actually getting my own

place and staying there. I have no idea

why. Oh yeah, because of that stupid

German girl who promised me sex and then

ditched me.

So what basically happened was that

I've ended up spending— wasting— I

wasted at least £2,000 to get ditched

by a German girl and have Um,

some— a pretty mediocre few nights with

a Turkish girl who now hates me, by the

£2,000 to stay in Germany for a few weeks

and have sex for a couple of nights.

I don't know if it was worth the money.

I think I'd like my £2,000— I mean pounds

back. Oh, thank you, Madison. I didn't

block you. At least

I don't think I did. Can't believe— I

mean, the Turkish girl, we only did it

about 4 times. So £2,000

for 4 helpings of cereal,

plus I wasted €250 on a hooker.

By the way, and yes, I did use a condom,

so don't worry about that.

£2,000! I could have bought a Samsung S10

and an iPad Pro, and now what do I have to

show for it? Nothing. I got

ditched and then I had a crap experience

with another girl.

Apart from that, I have nothing. Nothing

to show for it.

Absolutely nothing. Right, I got a cool

bottle opener from the souvenir shop.

That's about it.

Oh, what a waste of time. What a waste of

money. Plus, I bought that

gaming laptop just so I could go to

Germany because I thought I'd be in

Germany for a long time. Bought a stupid

gaming laptop which I probably won't use

now because I have my desktop again. So I

wasted £1,000 on a gaming laptop

which I probably won't use now. Uh,

let's, let's get my MS Paint up and

running. We need to do some calculations.

I need to calculate the damage.

MS Paint. How do

I do this? Window capture.

Please be there. No, it's not there.

I hate you, stupid Streamlabs. Sometimes

it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Oh, fucking hell, now it says

disconnected.

I hate you, stupid Streamlabs. Sometimes

it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Oh, fucking hell, now it says

disconnected.

Oh, oh, it's connected again. Hello.

So let me try One last time.

It says match title. MS Paint?

Where is it? It's not on the list. Why

isn't it on the list?

Did I get kicked out of Germany? No, I

didn't. I left because it was so boring.

What a boring country. It's just like

England, but they don't speak English.

Well, they do, but they speak German. Oh,

thank you, Madison. Thought you left your

mic at the hotel. No, I changed my mind.

I decided to take it with me. Didn't lie

about it, I just changed my mind. People

change their minds all the time, doesn't

mean they're liars. Okay, we're gonna have

to do the calculating without MS Paint.

Oh, oh, it's there, it's there. Don't

worry, I fixed it. I'm clever. Whoa,

whoa, wait, where am I going? Come back

down, Daniel. Come up, MS Paint. Oh,

there it is, it's rising from the bottom.

Here it is, MS Paint, my favorite.

Okay, so first of all,

we lost £20 train

to Victoria, and then I lost £124

plane ticket to Germany. And then I lost

£84 first hotel,

and then I lost £56 second

hotel, and then I lost £270

for the third hotel, and then I lost

another £158 extending the

hotel. Oh, thank you, Tommy. Tell us about

the blood. For some reason, she was

bleeding from her lady hole and she wasn't

on her period. I have no idea why. Lazy

face, thank you.

Um, what else did I lose?

I lost €250 on the hooker,

which I think scammed me because we agreed

€200 for an hour. She got to my hotel room

and then she demanded that I pay another

50 for the taxi. So I said, oh, okay,

that makes sense. Got another 50 out,

gave it to her.

So we agreed to 200, I ended up having to

pay her 250 for the bloody taxi, and she

didn't even stay for the whole hour.

After 30 minutes we finished and then she

left. Didn't even cuddle.

Terrible service.

And her legs were prickly. Felt like

humping a cactus. Okay, so what else did I

lose? I had £500

worth of euro cash.

But out of that, I spent £250 on the

hooker and I got £88 back because I didn't

spend all of it. So what's £250 plus £88?

£340. £160. That's about

£160 I spent on food, I think.

And then I spent another £130 flying back

from Germany to England.

Plus the gaming laptop,

which I bought because I thought I was

gonna move to Germany. That was £1,000.

Where's my dad's inheritance money? I

still didn't get it. Some woman's supposed

to phone me to confirm it's me, because

somehow by phoning me up they're gonna

confirm it's me. What if I'm Joe Bloggs

who lives in the same house? Still haven't

phoned me.

No, she wasn't on her period. She said

that it wasn't her period time.

The only thing I could think of was I tend

not to do foreplay when I bamboozle

girls, mainly because I just— I don't

know, it depends on the girl. If I feel

very attracted to the girl, then yeah,

I'll do foreplay. But 8 times out of 10,

I don't really feel attracted to the girl,

and I don't really want to do foreplay. I

just want to put it in.

And that was the case this time. I kind of

just put it in. Maybe she wasn't ready

for it.

Maybe, maybe I made

her bleed.

Okay, so I need my calculator. What else

did I buy? Oh, I bought this hoodie,

which looks quite nice, I think. Spent £46

at Uniqlo for 2

hoodies, which I'm very happy with because

it's summer now and I lost my thin hoodies

in Japan because my, my wife

threw my stuff away again. So I went to

Uniqlo. Luckily they had the same The same

design hoodie that I was wearing in Japan.

Got a light grey one and I got a dark blue

one. I really like the design. It's nice

and thin. Smells good.

And whilst I have to spend, I also bought—

well, I didn't buy travel insurance,

which saves money. My dad always used to

moan at me for travel insurance. He'd

always say, I don't want to have to spend—

I don't want to have to remortgage the

house in case you get a coma

in Japan.

It was so annoying. He would always pester

me about getting travel insurance, and it

cost £150 or something, and then I'd

refuse to get it, so he would have to get

it. And I said, well, if you want me to

get insurance so badly, why don't you pay

for it? I don't want to pay for it. If I'm

in a coma, just leave me there. At least

I don't have to worry about that anymore.

Travel insurance, such a con, isn't it?

You're spending all this money hoping that

you don't have to need it. It's just—

you might as well flush it down the

toilet. So yeah,

I saved money on travel insurance. What

else did I waste? Good thing I brought the

Blue Yeti mic back. I'm really glad I

didn't ditch it because if I didn't have

it, I wouldn't be able to stream. Can't

stream off my phones because the Wi-Fi is

so weak. The wired connection is a bit

better, more stable.

Okay, let me get my calculator machine.

Um, okay, so first we do 20 124

84 56 270

plus 158 plus 250

plus 160 plus 130

plus 46 plus 1,000—

£2,298.

I wasted £200— £2,298.

On nothing.

Oh, why are you pressing F?

Why are you

pressing— it is streaming. Stop spamming

F, for fuck's sake.

Stop spamming F. I can't do my job

properly if you keep making me think it's

disconnected. So yeah, I spent 2,000.

Let me get that total up on the screen.

2,200.

No, it was 298 wasted.

I could have bought A lot of things.

I wasted my money, didn't even

have sex with the German girl.

Now everyone's spamming F.

How are we supposed to have a conversation

like this?

I got ditched,

wasted so much money.

Oh, so I am

done with volunteering. Oh shit, sorry, I

didn't mean to play that.

I wasn't supposed to play that. Oh, thank

you Strawberry Degenerate for the F.

So I, I've really— I can't concentrate

with all the Fs. Shut up. Okay,

I'm Closing the chat now since you're not

saying anything apart from F.

What was I saying? Um,

yeah, I got in big trouble with the

Turkish girl because of my Discord server.

What happened was it was a couple days ago

and we woke up and there's nothing to

do in the hotel, so I went on my laptop

and I was playing Rainbow Six,

and then she started sulking, and she was—

she started pestering me. She kept pushing

my hand away from my laptop. She kept

blocking my laptop screen, and then she

sat in front of me. She said she didn't

like being ignored, and I said, I'm not

ignoring you. I'm just doing my laptop

stuff because there's nothing else to do.

What do you want me to do? What else can

we do? There's nothing to do in the hotel

room. I can't just sit on the bed next to

you staring at you. I have to do

something. And we can't go outside all day

long. We spent about 6 hours walking

around outside. You can't spend 16 hours

every single day walking around. It's

boring walking up and down. It's really

hot and I was really tired.

And then I started complaining about it on

Discord, saying that she's annoying and

this is a nightmare. And then somehow she

found it. I guess she saw the subreddit

because the subreddit screenshotted what I

said, and she,

she asked me if I wanted her to leave,

and I said no. Although actually I did,

but I'm too nice to tell her to leave

because that would have been really

awkward. I can't just tell people to leave

even if I want them to leave. I won't be

able to say, can you leave? Because that's

just so rude.

She wanted to stay for 4 nights, but But I

got it down to three, and I still thought

three nights was too long because what

would we do? I said to her, "There's not

much to do," and I don't know what we're

going to do all day.

And then she was on her phone most of the

time anyway, watching something.

If I tried to put on a movie, I thought

we'd watch the movie together, but she

wasn't interested. She would just go back

She wanted to stay for 4 nights, but I got

it down to 3, and I still— and

then, um, I need to

be careful about what I say about the

Essex girl because I quite like her. And

we're meeting in a few weeks, and I have a

tendency to say negative things about

people, and they find out and

they get upset.

And I may have said something about her on

the Discord, and somehow that got back to

her, which I was pretty surprised about

because I, I didn't think that she was on

the Discord. I don't think she is, but

someone she knows is and messaged her

telling her what I said. And I didn't say

what I said to upset her,

or it wasn't meant to be a negative thing

or an insulting thing. I was trying to

describe her.

I think I should just keep quiet about

her. For now. I mean, not for now,

full stop. Because I don't want to damage

this relationship as well, because she,

she's quite nice and I quite like her.

We're meeting in a couple weeks. We've

even got the whole date planned, and I'm

thinking about maybe we should agree

to not having sex on the first meeting?

Because I don't want to get into another

situation where I don't really like her,

but then we have— and then she gets upset.

I think maybe we should just meet and

agree not to sleep together straight

away. What do you think?

Oh no, my chat died now. Stream isn't

going very well tonight.

Stream isn't going very well. For some

reason the chat keeps disconnecting, then

it reconnects. So you think it's a good

Hmm, but what if I do really, really like

her? Okay, how about this? If I do really

like her, then we do it.

But then if I don't like her, we don't do

it. Because usually I would still try and

do it even if I didn't like the girl.

Maybe this time if I don't like— but then

I have to tell her that I don't like her.

And then I feel bad. I'm not

sure. I think I will like her, but you

know, it's hard to tell until you meet.

I don't see any reason Okay,

I think I fixed it. It was really

strange because I completely lost internet

connection on my computer, but I still had

connection on my phone. And then I looked

at the cable and it wasn't plugged in all

the way. It wasn't It

wasn't pushed in all the way into the

hole, so I pushed it in so it was snug,

and then it reconnected. So hopefully that

was the reason why the internet kept going

off. If not, then I don't know what's

wrong. So hopefully it's streaming again

now. I lost everyone. Bloody hell,

everyone's gone now.

When will I see the London girl? In a

couple weeks. Oh, I need to tell you about

the Spanish girl as well.

Um, I decided to call off

the Spanish girl because I

don't want to waste another £1,000.

Thousand— over £1,000 for the possibility

of having sex, which I think is a

very low possibility, mainly because

she said to me, I don't think we'll have

sex when we meet. So, so my options were

go home and save over £1,000 or waste

another £1,000 on hotels and plane

tickets. To go to Spain and not— probably

not have sex. It was a pretty easy

decision to make, so here I am back home.

And to celebrate with the money that I

saved from not going to Spain, I think I'm

gonna buy myself an iPad Pro. No, I

shouldn't, I shouldn't. There's one on

Amazon for about £500 secondhand, which

I'm very tempted to get. I went to the

Apple Store in Düsseldorf, tried out the

iPad Pro, Did some drawing. It's really,

really nice for drawing, and it just looks

nice. What do you think?

I'm actually very relieved that the

Spanish girl told me that because I didn't

really want to go to Spain. I didn't want

to have another girl ditch me again,

and I really don't want to spend another

£1,000 just to have sex.

It's getting kind of stupid. The amount of

money that I'm spending just to have sex

is getting kind of ridiculous, and I want

to stop it, really. I want my £2,000 back.

Yeah, going to Germany wasn't great.

Wasn't a great decision.

Wasted £2,000, don't have anything to show

for it. Am I happy

at the moment? No, I'm pretty stressed out

because the stupid internet keeps

disconnecting. I can't even— I just want

to do a nice relaxed stream. I can't do it

because the internet's so unreliable.

I think it's okay now.

Yeah, so I'm actually very relieved that I

don't have to go to Spain now.

Imagine if I went to Spain and nothing

happened there as well.

Am I gonna move in with the London girl?

Well, number one, she's not from London.

She's from— she lives in Essex, and Maybe

if things go well between us, it could be

a possibility.

Oh, that beer really made me tired.

Where's the Turkish girl? Well, I assume

she went, she went back to Turkey.

I don't know. I blocked her because she

wasn't being very nice after she found out

I shit-talked her on Discord.

I think I'm done traveling for girls.

I don't want to travel anymore just to go

and meet a girl. It's such a waste of

time, such a waste of money. And then even

if I do get to have sex, it's not as if— I

don't know, I just feel like just having

sex isn't worth all that money and all

that time that went into getting it. It

just felt kind of anticlimactic.

And then after I've done it, I feel like I

would rather have my money, actually. I'd

rather have my £2,000 back.

At least I can do something with the

£2,000. Buy something nice.

And it's just such a pain. I don't want to

go all the way to Heathrow again, get on a

plane. So much waiting in planes

and trains and walking up and down. I

didn't care about Germany. People kept

saying, why don't you go here? Why don't

you go to Berlin? Why don't you go to

Munich? Because I don't care. If I

want to see those places, I'll just Google

it. I don't care about the culture

or seeing the sights. Doesn't interest me.

I just want to play Rainbow Six, watch

Game of Thrones, and have sex, and then

cuddle or watch a movie and eat

together. I'm not interested in

sightseeing and experiencing countries.

I just don't care. It's not interesting.

People said I was bored because I didn't

go anywhere interesting or I just stayed

in my room. No, I'm bored because life

is boring and sightseeing isn't going to

make my life more interesting. It's just

gonna cost me money, it's gonna make my

legs hurt, and it's not really gonna be

interesting for me personally.

I'm just not really into traveling. I

don't see the appeal of it. It's just

boring. I'd rather stay at home and play

Rainbow Six.

Get a hobby. I have loads of hobbies.

Rainbow Six, streaming videos, playing

football, cooking, playing piano.

I've been all over the world, and I can

tell you from experience, everywhere's

boring. Everywhere's the same, but they

just have different layouts and people

speak different languages or they look

different. Apart from that, there's

nothing else that's interesting. It's just

the same people driving and walking,

going to work, going shopping. Everywhere

you go, that's what it's like, unless you

go to some tribe in Africa where they

catch lions and ride tigers. I don't know.

It's just boring to me. I'm not interested

in that stuff. Maybe I would be interested

if I found someone that I really liked and

then we can do things together. Yeah, if I

found— if I had a girlfriend who I really

enjoyed spending time with, then maybe

traveling would be a different experience.

And we could experience it together. But

just going by myself, um, yeah, it's kind

of boring. I went all around Düsseldorf

all by myself, went up a tower,

walked around the main sights. I guess it

was nice. It wasn't that great. I can do

that on Google Maps.

It's not that I'm not interested in

anything. I'm just not interested in

traveling. I think traveling is overrated

and everyone thinks it's so great. Oh, I

wish I could travel the world. No,

you don't. The world sucks.

It's just a big rock.

I've been to a lot of countries and they

all kind of suck in

different ways.

I think maybe I just don't like

travelling, which is a shame because I

would have liked to have been the kind of

person who enjoys travelling. But I just

don't like it. The only reason I'd travel

is for a girl, but now even— even

if it was a girl, I don't think I would

want to travel anymore after this whole

Germany experience. If a hot girl from

Sweden messaged me and said she would let

me have her raw if I came to Sweden,

Daniel from 2 weeks ago may have fallen

into that trap, but No more. No, I'm not

gonna go to Sweden. It's F you, Roar. I'm

sorry. Now, if you want to come here,

that's a different story.

But I'm not going to any more countries

ever unless I get a girlfriend and we plan

on traveling together. But I'm not making

any more sex trips. It's just a waste of

I'm just fed up with these flaky girls who

waste my time, waste my money, and they

don't even put out. If you're really

interested in me and you really like me,

then you come to me. I'm not coming to you

anymore. That's how it's gonna be. I don't

Unless— the furthest I'm willing to go

would be London, and then if

we get on well, then I don't mind going to

wherever you live. But I'm not taking

applications right now because I have

someone who I need to meet first,

and then we'll decide from there, I guess.

I'm a bit disappointed about Germany, to

be honest, because when I look at my

analytics, it says about 6— 5 to 6% of my

audience are from Germany, and that's

about 4,000 to 5,000 people.

So about 5,000 German people watch me,

and no one even wanted to meet me. Okay,

that's not true. There's one girl in

Munich who wanted to meet me, but I don't

think we would have had sex. And there's

another girl in Stuttgart who wanted to

meet me, but I don't think that would have

led to sex either. So 2, wow,

2 people out of 5,000.

I was in Düsseldorf for 2 weeks, didn't

get anyone messaging me asking if I wanted

to meet up in Düsseldorf. Bit sad

I went all the way there and then no one

No girls even cared. Okay, a bunch of guys

invited me out to meet up and drink, but I

wasn't interested. I mean, what's the

point of having 5% of a country watch you

and then they don't even want to shag you?

I'm not very— not very pleased

with my German audience, really.

Wait, my mom's coming.

Look, it says my Germany 6.7% for my top

countries. It actually went up 6.7%.

Well, at least my mum seems to be in a

better mood. We're actually talking now,

but she still seems a bit upset. I think

that's because my sister was here on the

weekend and my sister told me that they

had a massive argument. You see, this is

what I'm telling you, people. It's not

just me who has big arguments with my mum.

It's my sister as well. It's because my

mum's a bit of a difficult person.

My mum keeps calling my sister selfish

because she dumped her boyfriend.

Apparently they had a— my sister told me

that they had a massive argument and they

were swearing at each other. And my sister

left, went back to London yesterday, so

it's a bit sad I didn't get to see my

sister. Would have been nice if she was

here when I came back, could have spoken.

My mum keeps trying to guilt-trip my

sister because she dumped her boyfriend,

and then they have these massive

arguments. See, it's always something

different with people.

With me, she always complains that I'm

useless or I don't go outside or I don't

go and work. And then my sister, she

always says that she's selfish or she

wouldn't become a good housewife or

something. My sister's not really a

traditional type of woman. You know, she

went to university and she got a good job

and she's an independent careers person.

She doesn't really care about settling

down and becoming a housewife.

She studied film,

but she doesn't do anything film-related.

What about Spain? I'm not gonna go to

Spain.

It's just a waste of money, isn't it?

Besides, I have someone better here that I

want to meet.

I tried Tinder, by the way. I was on

Tinder the whole time and I only got a

couple matches.

I did arrange to meet up with someone,

but that would be next week because she

said she was busy. I got no

matches. I have 1, 2, apart from a couple

here. But even after the boost, I got a

boost, I only got a few matches

afterwards.

So yeah, at least I have something to look

forward to in a few weeks' time. Just— I

just hope I don't ruin it by saying

something that might upset her. So I'm

just gonna keep quiet about her.

I was a bit surprised that— okay,

actually I wouldn't say that. I'm just

trying to keep control over what I

say before I ruin it,

because apart from her, there's not really

anyone else that I want to meet. Right

now.

Basically, I said something on Discord

about her which I was

wrong about, and then she found out about

it, and then she said that I was

wrong about what I said.

But I didn't say it in a malicious way. I

just thought that she had it, but she

didn't, if that makes sense.

Oh, that Discord is such a pain.

Sometimes I just feel like deleting the

Discord because the Discord server has

caused me so much, so many problems.

It caused all the problems with my wife

because I was saying stuff

on it. And then it caused me all the

problems with the Turkish girl, and it

caused me all the problems with something

else. I just want to go onto Discord and

chat about stuff and not worry about being

judged, but then people screenshot it.

They screenshot what I say and then they

post it on these places, or the person I'm

talking about is on the Discord and then

they get upset. So annoying. I just want a

place where I can chat You know, I just

want to chat about stuff. I hate having to

be careful about what I say all the time.

I should have just used voice chat, but

then someone might record what I'm saying.

Maybe I should find a Discord server where

no one knows who I am and I just pretend

to not be me, but then it's not, it's not

the same. It's not as fun.

Maybe I just have to learn to not say bad

things about people, but it's so hard

because I want to say what's on my mind,

even if it is something negative.

No one's perfect. I can find something to

complain about anyone. Maybe they smell

bad, or maybe they have a weird accent.

I'm not complaining, I'm just telling you

the negative parts of things. Why do I

have to only talk about the positive

things? That's boring. And if I didn't

have a good time or a good experience with

someone or something, then obviously I

want to talk about it and

tell you what it was like.

Make the Discord Patreon only. That won't

work because the people in the subreddit,

some of them, or at least one of them, is

paying me so he can leak whatever

I put on Patreon. If I put a secret

Patreon-only video, then that video gets

leaked. He'll copy the link and put

it onto the subreddit, and then they'll

watch it.

Don't say ridiculous things. How could I

not say it? I mean,

what did I say? All I said was I didn't

really feel very attracted to her. I

didn't feel very interested in her because

people kept asking, what happened to the

Turkish girl? Why don't you be with her?

How are things going? So I just said,

well, I'm not really feeling it.

It's either say that or just say nothing.

I can't ignore people. If people ask me a

question, then I feel like I have to

answer them.

People are interested, so they ask me

stuff, and then I want to answer them.

Oh, my beer's empty.

I'm not saying she's ugly, I'm just saying

that I didn't really feel very attracted

to her. I'm sure she's attractive to many

other people, but not

for me. I'm very sorry,

but I can't feel attracted to everyone.

And I can't find everything interesting.

What about the English girl? What about

her? Well,

I don't know if I feel attracted to her

yet because I haven't met her, but so far

from photos and videos and Instagram video

chat, so far from what I've seen I think

she looks nice, but it's hard to tell

until you meet someone for real.

I don't choose what or who I'm attracted

to. I don't have any control over that.

I'm just attracted to what I'm attracted

to and not attracted to what I'm not

attracted to. And if it means

I have very high standards, then, well,

what can I do about it?

Not much.

Did I waste €2,000? No, I wasted £2,000.

I want my £2,000 back.

You know, it's not cheap living in a hotel

for 2 weeks and getting a gaming laptop.

I guess if you take away the gaming

laptop, it's not that bad. It's only about

£1,200.

It's not a good idea to publicly declare a

girl is not attractive. No, I never said

she's not attractive. I said I didn't feel

attracted to her. That's what

people keep misunderstanding. They think

I'm saying that she's ugly when I didn't

say that. I just said I didn't feel

attracted to her. Same thing goes about

When I say things are boring, for example,

I'd say, oh, Germany's boring, and then

people get all upset saying it's not. To

me personally, it is boring. That's what

I'm saying. I'm not saying in general, as

a fact of life, it's a boring country and

everyone in the world would find it

boring. No, I'm saying for me personally,

it's boring. Why do people misunderstand

such simple English? I don't get it.

I didn't think I'd have to explain

something so simple. When I say I'm not

attracted to someone doesn't mean I'm

saying that she's objectively ugly and

everyone's gonna think she's ugly. No,

I'm saying that I didn't think that she

was that pretty for my personal tastes.

I don't think I have to explain that. I

thought that was common sense. Come on,

guys, I thought I'm supposed to be the

stupid one here. Why do I have to explain

this basic stuff to you? I shouldn't

have to explain this stuff, really. You

should know it if you have any common

sense at all.

When I say something's boring, it's boring

to me personally. I'm not saying

it's boring to everyone. Jesus Christ,

people are getting dumber, aren't they?

It's just so frustrating that nowadays you

have to make all these disclaimers before

you can say anything, otherwise people

twist everything you say. Don't they?

For example, I'd say, oh, men and women

can't be friends, and then some person

would say, well, actually, I have 2 women

friends. Yeah, I'm not saying 100% of

women and men can't be friends. I'm just

saying in general. No, we have to explain

everything now.

Why don't I go to Thailand? Because it

looks pretty shit there, to be honest.

Way too hot, dirty. No thanks.

Yeah, I know it's cheap and you can get

cheap ladies, but I'm not interested.

I think I'm done traveling, but then I'm

not sure what to do with my life.

Just play games, I guess.

What happened to Lena? I don't know what

happened to her. She used to be on every

stream. And then one day she vanished.

Update on the lawsuit by Chihiro? Well,

she hasn't sent me anything. The only

letters I got were from my bank. Apart

from that, I didn't get anything.

So maybe she changed her mind about it.

She's still talking to my mum, which is

weird. She sent my mum a video of her

in her new apartment. She said she's very

happy with her new apartment, and she

didn't take the new sofa that we bought

together. It was too big, apparently.

I wish people stopped spamming F.

I can't ban everyone who's spamming F.

Uh, and then people just spam it more.

Bloody bunch of kids.

Grow up, please.

It's just irritating. It's not funny.

You guys suck.

Don't even give me super chats, just spam

it all the time, call me names.

What's the point of streaming?

I'm gonna go brush my teeth.

Well, don't complain when my next video

has 10 mid-roll ads on it. You only have

yourselves to blame.

You're still spamming it. Oh my God,

so who wants to be a moderator and then

ban everyone who's pressing F?

Okay, I'm going Akumogoraka and ban

everyone who press F.

You've had your warning. If you press spam

F or spam anything, you're just going to

get me get banned. I'm just gonna

make some random people moderators.

Who else want to be a moderator?

I can't stream like this.

Oh, hunt, you know, rah rah wang.

Hi there, Dan. I want to be a mod. Okay.

Oh, thank you. Um,

hiding in my apartment. Welcome home.

Okay,

try and stream for a bit more.

Kind of wanted to play Rainbow Six.

Let me check my messages.

I put exclamation mark instead of a

question mark.

Oh, thank you, Sean Taylor and Diego Dan.

Make me a mod. Yeah, you do always donate

to me, actually. I'm not gonna keep

everyone as a mod. I'll keep some people

as mods. I don't know half the people I

made a mod. Invest in a spin brush.

What's a spin brush?

I need to plan my future.

Okay,

so where's my MS Paint?

MS Paint. Oh,

it's gone.

So nice coming back to England after being

away. You realize that it's a pretty good

country actually, apart from all the

idiots on the train speaking on their

phone. Why do English people love talking

on their phone when they're on the train?

Don't they feel embarrassed? One guy

was on his phone, he said, okay, talk to

you later. Buy honey buns.

How could you not feel embarrassed saying

buy honey buns when you're on a train

packed full of people? I'd feel so silly

saying buy honey buns.

They have no shame sitting on the train

irritating everyone, and then we can

listen, we can hear what they're talking

about. I don't want to listen to this

stranger's conversation.

I can't shut my hearing off.

At least

in Japan, people didn't talk on their

Oh, thank you, Unit 001. Remember the

girl who opened the window? Remember the

girl who— the German girl?

It's just so annoying. Why can't they just

text? Why are they always phoning each

other? Yeah, it's more convenient to

phone, but then you're irritating everyone

else. You're putting your own convenience

in front of everyone else. Japanese people

would never do that. Japanese people are

considerate. They don't put their own

convenience ahead of, uh,

being considerate.

It's just so Inconsiderate.

It's not hard to send a message. Just

type, say, hi, I'm gonna be late, the

train's delayed. Don't need to phone all

the time. I don't understand these people

who just phone people all the time. Me and

my sister, we never phone each other. She

sends me a message on Facebook.

What ethnicity was the hooker? Well, she

was white, but I think she was Eastern

European. Oh, thank you, Mr. Black Spoon.

Team cereal. I wasted a lot of money

for not very much cereal. Is my mum

still working? Yes, she is. She keeps

saying the same— she keeps asking the same

question every day. Why did dad die?

Or why did this happen? Is she gonna

be saying that for the rest of her life?

I think she's just finding it very hard to

accept it. I'm starting to accept it.

I'm starting to think less about it, I

guess. I don't think about it all the time

I keep having dreams though. I keep having

dreams where he He comes back to life and

then we're joking about how careless he

was getting the flu and how horrible it

was. And then he was really angry at me

because I don't have a proper job and I'm

just doing YouTube. He was saying, it's

not a real job, it's not sustainable. And

then I was shouting back at him, which is

weird because he's never said that. Maybe

I thought he thought that.

Oh, thank you, Madison. I want to smash.

Sorry, I'm taken now.

I have my eyes on a girl from Essex.

What happened to the Spain trip? Well, I

decided to cancel it because the Spain

trip we were planning on the 11th of

May because that was the earliest she

could get time off work, the Spanish girl.

So I'd have to stay in Germany until the

11th of May, which would be another 2

weeks in Germany, which would be about

£600 or £700, plus I'd have to get another

plane ticket to Spain, which wouldn't be

very much, about £50, and then I'd need to

book 2 nights in Madrid Do you know how

much 2 nights in Madrid would cost? Oh,

thank you, Cassie Reed.

So that would easily be another £1,000.

And then she messaged me saying, I don't

think we're going to have sex when we

meet. Well, it just made my decision a lot

easier. I'm not going to waste another

£1,000 so I

could not have sex in Spain.

Yeah, I know I shouldn't pressure people

into guaranteeing me sex if we meet up,

but then I also have to think about the

cost of it. So I don't want— it's a big

risk. I don't want to go all this way and

spend all this money and then nothing

happens. I'm underground

for life from your old streams.

Underground4Life. That name rings a bell.

I think I know who you are.

Are you that black girl who messages me

now and then? I think that

is you.

Why do people say that letter?

Usually people say F if the stream

disconnects, but recently people keep

spamming it even though it's not

disconnected. And then I think it's

disconnected, and then I get all moody

because I think it's disconnected again.

I left my black hoodie in the hotel, the

one I bought— the one my wife bought,

not for me, but she advised me to get.

Now that I think about it, all the

clothing that I bought with her on the My

wife buys me my outfit. I don't have

anymore. The checkered shirts, left those

behind. The black cardigan, left that

behind. The black hoodie. I still have the

blue jeans, but I don't wear them because

they're too skinny.

Is the Essex girl okay with you updating

us on her? Yes, she said that

she's okay with it, but she also

asked me if I'm willing to hurt her for

my channel, and I said no, I don't want to

hurt you. So I'm gonna try and be very

careful about what I say. I don't want to

hurt her, but sometimes I say things too

bluntly, maybe I shouldn't be saying them.

It's hard to tell sometimes.

Am I worried she'll speak with an Essex

accent? No, she sounds quite posh. We've

spoken. On the phone a few times.

I would have liked to speak to her today,

but it's kind of late now.

There's not a huge amount to say, I guess,

about her. I don't want to go

into really private things about her.

Don't I miss my wife? I do sometimes.

She was a good wife, wasn't she? And I had

a good life in Japan.

I had a nice apartment, I had a sofa,

cheap rent, had a good woman. I just

didn't feel satisfied. I didn't feel

attracted to her. Physically or

emotionally.

I guess I kind of felt connect— I felt a

bond. I felt connected to her because we

spent so much time together, but we had

nothing in common. I didn't enjoy— I mean,

I didn't have a lot of things that I could

talk to her about.

I didn't feel very physically attracted to

her. She was a lot older than me. She was

8 years older than me,

and the age difference— I think the age

difference between us is quite noticeable.

I do miss her though, and there's no

denying that she was a good wife. She did

a lot for me. She helped me set up my

phone contract. She moved apartments with

me. She got me my visa. She did all the

paperwork for the marriage. She did all

the paperwork for the phone, all the

paperwork for the apartment. Yeah,

she didn't really do anything wrong. It

wasn't her fault. It was just me not

really feeling it with her.

I should have said no to the marriage in

the first place, but I just felt as though

I didn't have any other option. It was

either get married and stay in Japan or

go back to my parents' house and sit in my

room all day long alone, not having

anyone. So at the time, getting married,

moving to Japan, having a wife seemed like

a pretty good idea.

I just find it very, very difficult to say

no. I was in Germany and

then this guy— I was with the Turkish girl

eating a hot dog and then this guy just

comes up to us and asks for money for a

charity. I ended up giving him about €6.

I took out all the coins in my pocket and

I just gave it to him because I felt bad

saying no.

And then when I was at London Victoria,

there was this English guy going around

from— going around asking people if he

could get some money, and I had about £80

in my pocket, and I was seriously thinking

about giving him a £10 note if he asked

me. He really missed out, didn't he? He

was right next to me asking some other guy

and he walked right past me. If he asked

me for money, I probably would have given

him— I probably would have given him a

tenner because I have so many and I

probably won't use them.

And then when I was working at the petrol

station, people used to come in and beg

for stuff. They would beg for beer or

cigarettes and They would say, please, I

don't have any money. I'll pay you back.

And I bought beer and cigarettes for

several people several times because I'm

such a pushover. If you beg me, if you're

persistent enough, I'll probably just cave

and give you money or buy you stuff. I

tried resisting one time. I said, no, I

can't buy it for you. He just kept begging

me, and I just wanted him to shut up and

go, so I just bought him the bottle of

beer. Wine. He left.

I bought this one guy 2 packets of

cigarettes and a beer. I bought this other

guy a bottle of wine. And then every time

the Irish gypsies came in, I just let them

shoplift. I didn't make any noise. I just

pretended not to see. So I didn't know

how— I didn't know what to do if I caught

them shoplifting. I couldn't confront

them. I'd be too scared.

What could I do if I caught them

shoplifting? I couldn't manhandle them.

I don't have any power or any strength.

No one's gonna be intimidated by me.

I'm just very bad at saying no. Yeah, the

guy, the Japanese guy gave me a BJ. I

couldn't even say no to him. I ended up

getting sucked off by a guy. I said

no the first time and the first couple

times, but he was so persistent I just

caved and I let him pull my trousers down.

I thought, oh well, if it gets him to shut

up, fine.

Um, what else did I do?

I don't think it's rape. I wasn't that

bothered about it. It's just a guy sucking

my ding dong. It's not a big deal. It's

not like he penetrated me. My rule