I have a penile yeast infection

Hey, it's me again. I think there's something wrong with my penis. So a few days ago I woke up and it was very itchy and I was scratching and then I pulled back the foreskin and there was a lot of white stuff, like cheesy white stuff, and when I scratched around there it would— more of this white

stuff would scrape off and and I could roll it up into like a ball, and it smelt— it smelt very bad. I actually like the smell, it's just that it smelt very strong. I don't actually think this is the first time I've had this. I had it— I had the same thing around 6 years ago when I

was with the French girlfriend. It was exactly the same, very itchy, very smelly, and when I scratched it, this cheesy white stuff would start coming out all coming off, and it's just so itchy, and it's very difficult to scratch because if I use my fingers, then my fingernails scratch too hard and it becomes sore. And the best

way of scratching this itch back then was by having sex, and, and the friction that, that was generated from the rubbing when you— when I had sex was the only relief from the itchiness. The last time it happened, back then, I didn't, I didn't do anything about it. I didn't take any medicine. I just ignored it and

hoped it went away, and it did go away by itself eventually after a few weeks, but it was very uncomfortable. The itchiness was driving me insane, so I decided to look it up on Google. I just typed in my symptoms, and something that stuck out to me was a yeast infection, and Yeah, it does sound like I

have a yeast infection.

My symptoms match exactly what it says that the symptoms are for a yeast infection, and it says that you can get a yeast infection if you don't bathe properly, if you don't wash down there properly, which I am washing properly. And it also said the other way you can get a yeast infection is from getting it from

someone else. After you've had unprotected sex, and I did have unprotected sex with a really fat girl on Friday night. So, um, I'm pretty sure I got a yeast infection from that girl. So I looked on Google, how do you get rid of a yeast infection on your penis, and it actually said one of the best ways

of getting rid of it is to boost your body's friendly bacteria. Your probiotic bacteria because the friendly bacteria is very good at keeping this, um, infection under control. It's basically like a fungal infection. It's kind of ironic, I guess, because I was calling that Japanese woman with the big boobs fungal girl, and now I also have a

fungal infection. Maybe we were meant to be together. And Google said that one of the best ways, or a good way, to treat a fungal infection is by, is by consuming probiotic yogurt. And it said it's, it's a good idea to eat it, but it's also a good idea to apply the yogurt to the infected area. So

last night I went to the convenience store and I bought a load of different yogurts. There was this one yogurt that my girlfriend actually had has every day. It's called R1 Meiji yogurt, and it actually says on the box that it has pri— pri— probiotics. And I bought some of those, and I went back to my room,

and I spent the evening smearing yogurt onto my penis. I left the yogurt on there for about half an hour. I took some photos because someone wanted to see it, and I sent them the photos. And then I went to the toilet, I washed it off, I dried it off, and I went to sleep. And then when

I woke up the next day, there was, there was no itchiness, and I pulled back the foreskin and there was no white stuff. So it seems like the probiotic yogurt actually worked, which is, which is interesting. I don't think it's 100% cured yet. It's still slightly itchy and there's still a little bit of white stuff. But I

think that if I keep applying more yogurt to it, it should be— it should be all gone in a few days, which I hope it does go pretty soon because I'm supposed to be going over to my girlfriend's house on Sunday night, and I don't really want to pass it on to her. I think she should be

okay even if I did pass it on to her because she eats a lot of probiotic yogurt, which should keep the fungal spores or the fungal infection at bay. So after I finish filming this video, I'm going to the convenience store, gonna buy some more yogurt, and then spend the rest of the night applying yogurt to my

penis and then eating the rest of it. I can't apply the whole tub of yogurt to it, it's too much. I'm pretty certain that I don't have a sexually transmitted disease because there's no burning feeling or discomfort when I pee or urinate. There's no pain. And when I had chlamydia a few years ago, I definitely didn't have

this itchiness or this cheesy stuff being generated down there. But what if it's too early to tell if I have an STD? It's only been— what day is it today? It's Friday night, isn't it? It's been one week exactly. And back then when I got chlamydia, I didn't start experiencing symptoms until about 2 weeks after we had

sex.

Maybe I should start using a condom. But what are the chances of getting chlamydia a second time? I can understand that getting it one time is, is pretty— it's not that unusual, but getting it twice? That doesn't really sound like something that could happen. It's just like there's this constant struggle, this internal struggle going on in my

mind. I really want to have sex and I really want to use a condom at the same time. I don't really want to use a condom, but I don't want to get an STD again. I don't want to get HIV. There's a mosquito biting me. Having to put on the condom before you have sex is like, it's

like a mental battle and And it's this mental battle that I always lose every time. I don't even try to get the condom out of my bag. I just, I just go straight in there. I don't even attempt to put the condom on. I think that next time I have sex with a different girl, I really want

to try putting the condom on. Maybe I could just have the condom in my pocket, in my trouser pocket, so I can just whip it out and then quickly put it on. It's just that it ruins the mood so much. It just— it spoils it. I'm starting to feel like I'm getting very close with my current girlfriend.

I'm starting to feel like there's kind of like an emotional connection starting to form between me and her. And I don't know, maybe I should stop all this sleeping around with other women. Maybe I should just focus on her.

I don't want to— I don't want her to get some kind of infection or illness because of me. I don't.

I really don't. It's just that I don't want to use a condom. I guess I can't have my cake and eat it at the same time. I can't have it both ways. I have to give up one thing. It's just that with Tinder and the internet, there's just so many temptations everywhere. It's like being in a cake

shop and you have lots of money and you can buy anything you want. It's just such a dramatic change from living in the UK and being completely ignored by the opposite sex and then coming to Japan and then all of a sudden there's all these women that are willing to have sex with me. How am I supposed

to say no to that?

I don't know. It's very difficult to to, um, resist. Anyway, um, I guess— no, what? I've been feeling very lonely these last few days. I just don't feel like talking to anyone at the guest house. There's no one there that really interests me, that— there's no one there that makes me feel like, wow, I really want to

talk to this person. I'm pretty sure this is the worst guest house experience so far. After 7 trips to Japan, this has to be the worst. I mean, I thought last year was pretty bad at the guest house, but at least then I had the Iranian girl and we used to do a lot of things together. And

there were cool people like the Australian guy and the Japanese guy who I went drinking with this year in April. I kind of wish I could go and see him, go drinking with him. But he lives, he lives near Tokyo. I live nowhere near Tokyo. I go down into the living room and I see all these people

sitting there chatting, laughing, playing mahjong, and a part of me wants to be included. A part of me wishes that they would go, hey Daniel, come and sit with us, come and join in. But another part of me also says that I don't, I don't want to play mahjong. I don't want to join in with your conversation.

It doesn't look interesting. It doesn't sound interesting. I'd rather just be alone. I'd rather be alone, but then I feel lonely.

It's weird. If you don't want to feel lonely, then you should talk to people. But I don't have any interest in talking to people, so I end up feeling lonely. It's like a vicious cycle.

Right now, the only cure for my loneliness is the weekends when I go and see my girlfriend, when I go and stay over at her place. And I feel like I'm starting to become more and more dependent on her to cure my loneliness, and I'm starting to feel vulnerable, vulnerable, vulnerable. You remember last time I was saying

something like I wouldn't really care if she dumped me right now, I wouldn't feel sad, but right now I feel very different. I would be sad right now if she dumped me, I would be upset. I feel like my feelings have changed since I made that last comment. Maybe, maybe I am developing feelings for her. Sometimes I

kind of wish she would ask me to move in with her. I don't want to ask her because if she said no, I would feel rejected and very upset and hurt about it, and I don't want her to feel like she's— like I'm pressuring her into saying yes. I would only want her to say yes if she

actually wanted me to move in. I wouldn't want her to just say yes just so she can please me. But I don't know, I don't really feel like she wants me to move in. I feel like it's too soon,

and maybe it's not a good idea to move in because if I did move in with her, I wouldn't be able to make videos during the night like this. She would be wondering why I'm going for midnight walks for so, so such a long time every night. And if we ended up—

what was that?

And if we ended up living together and spending every single day together, we might start getting sick of each other, and I don't want that either. I don't feel like it's fair to say that I didn't try to make friends. I did try to make friends. I tried very hard talking to people when I first came here

during the first few weeks. I made a lot of effort talking to various people here. It's just that I didn't— I didn't find— I didn't feel like it was interesting talking to them. I didn't feel like I wanted to talk to them again. I just feel very bored and kind of empty. There's not really much going on

in my life that makes me feel like I've done something worth doing, and I don't really know what I want to do. Or what I can do that can make me feel like I've done something worth doing. It needs to be something that I actually want to do. I still enjoy making YouTube videos, but I'm getting a

lot of hate recently, and sometimes it does start to get to me. I've noticed that several people who used to be very supportive of me have also started hating on me. I guess it's because of all of the sleeping around and cheating stuff, maybe. I should have kept that to myself. Maybe I— maybe I was too honest.

This is my diary, and I don't want to start censoring myself out of fear of what people think of me. I want to talk about the things that are on my mind, things that are troubling me, things that are happening in my life. Even if those things make people dislike me,

I still want to talk about those things. That was the whole point of starting this YouTube channel. And I'm not gonna let the opinions of certain people stop me from talking about what I want to talk about.

I cheated and I lied. There's no— there's no denying that. There's no hiding that anymore. I can say sorry. Sorry for letting you down. But I can't make any promises that I won't cheat and lie again.