homeless in my car

Hi guys,

what's up?

I'm in my car.

I thought I was gonna sneeze.

I don't know where the best place to sit

is. Maybe here.

It's getting a bit cold.

It's quite comfy like this.

Yeah, this is quite nice.

Look at the view.

Yeah, I love my car. Best car ever.

There's more people here today. I see 1,

2, 3,

4, 5. 5 campers today.

I hope they're not gonna like hang out and

then talk loads like they did in the other

place. At the dome place, the other tent

people started hanging out around this

fire and then they were chatting and until

3 AM in the morning. It was horrible.

I see one of them over there chatting to

the other campers. Oh God,

I don't know why it's so— oh, it's because

it's the weekend. I just realized. I was

gonna say, I don't know why it's so busy

today. Yesterday there were just 2 other

people Yeah,

I mean, it's a nice place to come to if

you've got a girlfriend, isn't it?

Nice views.

Yep, homeless, living in my car.

It's so terrible.

Does this trip make you miss independence

and having your own place? Uh, the only

thing I miss is having a nice shower.

There's a shower here, but it's kind of

ugly. It's like a portable

loo but a shower.

At least the water's hot though.

I don't know how long I can live like this

before caving and going back to my mum's

place. As long as it's warm,

I guess it's fine. If it was cold, it'd be

horrible.

Yeah, it'd be nice to have a girl here,

do some cooking, bang in

the car mattress. Plenty of room.

Also, my towel dries really quickly when

it's in the back. It's been really

comfortable sleeping in it, actually. It

feels really cozy. Maybe I like confined

spaces. It's kind of like a capsule hotel

in Japan but on wheels. So if you ever

stayed in a capsule hotel before, It's

kind of like that. Yeah, I'm gonna do

cooking. I bought some food and some

lighters so I can burn it.

It is a lot like a capsule hotel,

but without snoring people next to you.

We know you're with a girl. Wow, where is

she then? Yeah,

I met a Spanish girl a couple days ago.

We went cycling and I took her to

Lydford Gorge. We had lunch and

then we smoked some you-know-what.

The thing is, she's not very good at

rolling it. It didn't smell like

you-know-what, and she put wood chippings

in it instead of tobacco.

So it didn't smell like how I'm used to it

smelling. We smoked it in the park.

Not as good as a certain somebody.

Yeah, on the subreddit they were saying,

how can it be cold in the dome?

Because it has gotten a lot cooler

recently, and the dome is just a bit

of thin plastic with no insulation. So as

soon as the sun goes, the dome cools

instantly, whereas at my mum's house,

it's a proper house— brick walls,

insulation— and the room heats up all

day and stays hot overnight.

So that's why geniuses always,

always calling me stupid over everything

when you don't understand what things are

really like. Just because you don't

understand, don't call me stupid.

You're stupid.

Why don't you date a Spanish girl? I don't

know, it's just never really come up.

We just hang out as friends.

As soon as I left Kent and I got to Devon,

it was already way cooler.

I got this at Stonehenge.

Stonehenge tarot deck,

but it only came with 3 cards and it had 2

bits of chocolate in it. You get the moon,

the sun, and Stonehenge.

So I feel a bit scammed. I thought it was

gonna be like a whole deck of

Stonehenge-themed Tarot cards. I only got

3. I didn't read the box properly.

Well, they don't make it obvious it's

chocolate. Look at the front. You gotta

look at the side, and then it says 2 milk

What about your job? I'm taking a

sabbatical.

The Starlink's really good. I've got it on

the dashboard. Otherwise, I don't really

have, uh, proper data phone

connection here. Sometimes it says 4G and

then sometimes it disappears, so thank God

I got the Starlink. Otherwise, I would not

be able to stream. See, that was why I got

the Starlink, so I could do this. And

people were like, oh, you wasted money on

the Starlink. People just

don't get it, do they?

I wouldn't come all this way if I couldn't

stream. Streaming was like one of— there

were 3, 4 reasons I came Streaming was

one of them, so that was the whole point

getting the Starlink. I tried to find

Keith. I couldn't find Keith yesterday or

today. I think he's on holiday.

It would kind of suck if he comes back

after I leave. I wanted to see his

reaction to me being back.

He'd be like, whoa, Jason! He still thinks

I'm called Jason. I kept thinking, should

I tell him I'm not Jason?

Grock kept telling me to tell him, but I

didn't see the point. It would just be

weird. Oh, by the way, my name's not

Jason. And then he'd be like, oh, why did

you say it was Jason then? And then I'd

say, uh, I just thought I'd try it out for

a bit, but actually my name's Daniel.

Everyone knows me as Jason.

It's your middle name? Yeah, exactly. My

brother-in-law's brother, he uses his

middle name.

I thought that was his first name, but

it's his middle name. And my sister told

me it's not his first name, and I was

like, what? See, people do it all the

time, use their middle name. That's why

it's called a middle name. What's the

point having a middle name if you can't

use it?

How come you're homeless? Because I'm

broke. I spent all my money on my Tesla

and my Starlink,

and, uh, the campsite is not actually that

cheap. It sounds cheap, £20 a night,

but if you stayed in it for a whole month,

it would be £600 a month, which is only a

couple hundred pounds cheaper than just

renting a house. But then I guess you

don't pay council tax, electric bill,

water bill. What else is there?

That's it really. So I guess

if you include council tax and bills,

renting a house would be like £1,300. I

think it was like £1,400 if you add in

bills plus rent. Council tax was like £200

a month. Then I guess the campsite is half

the price of renting a house.

I made a mistake though. I booked the next

campsite. I didn't read it properly and it

says it has no toilet and no shower.

But I found, I found a public shower at

this service station, so I'm going to try

and figure out how to use it. Maybe I

could just walk in and use it and no one

cares. I guess I have to pay somehow. I'm

going to get bad back sitting like this.

The problem is I can't sit upright because

my head touches the roof.

It's good for sleeping but not great for

The new campsite— I think this campsite is

£28 a day, the new one's £20

a day, so it's cheaper,

but it has no— how can a campsite not have

a shower? I guess they just expect people

to be camping in an RV and have their own

toilet and shower facility in the RV.

Most people aren't sleeping in their car,

are they?

Oh well. Yeah,

I'm camping

alone. I'm getting hungry. I don't

know if my food idea is gonna work.

Is this wide angle? I don't want to get a

caravan. I don't know how— I don't know if

I need a license to tow something. I need

to get the tow hitch. Damn, look at

the view, though. Could get used to

living like this.

When you want to take a shit, then you

got to walk all the way up there to that

little green box, and they got toilets and

Damn, look at the view.

Yeah, it's really comfortable to sleep in

it. Look, I put

my pillow there, stretch my legs all the

way down. I'm the perfect height to fit in

it. Any more than 5'9, you'd be a bit

squished.

So I got dinner. Oh, I got Stonehenge

beer, Wiltshire.

I want to try this.

God, it's such a nice day today. It's not

windy at all.

I wish it was a bit warmer though.

Getting a little bit chilly.

Yeah, I'm 5'9. 174 centimeters.

So I've been seeing this guy on YouTube a

lot recently. He, he just reviews tinned

fish and then he like barbecues them

and tests and reviews it. So I kind of got

a craving for tinned fish for some reason.

Well, not for some reason, because I

watched him. I'm so glad I got the

Starlink. Thing's fucking amazing.

I'm getting like 200 download and 40

upload in the middle of a field.

It's amazing. Uh,

I got some olive oil.

Filippo Birio.

I got some pita, pita bread.

I got some mackerel fillets.

People kept saying how I bought a new

Tesla. It's not new, I'm the second owner.

Who buys— look at— I fucked up the door,

holy shit. Can you see that dent?

It goes all along the side, look.

It goes from here. Can you see it? You

can't really see it that well unless the

light angles off it. Look, it goes

from here. It's like slightly pressed in.

So what happened was I was on a narrow

lane I had to go into a bush. I didn't

realize there was like a very hard stick

in the bush and it scraped along the side

of the car.

So that's not good. Um, what was I going

to get? Got Listerine.

Imagine buying a brand new car, that'd be

stupid. Obviously it's a used car.

The car, I put down a $5K deposit. Well,

my mum let me borrow it. I've paid off $4K

now, so I owe her $21,700,

and it's $280 a month for 3 years and

then $6K balloon payment. Pretty

expensive, I guess, but so worth it.

It's such a good car. Oh yeah,

I got these.

It's funny because I bought a pack of 3 of

these to do my, uh, love potion stream. I

didn't bring any of them because I didn't

think I'd use it, so then I had to buy

again. Also the cauldron— my mum sent me a

video of the cauldron. It cracked. It's

got a big crack down the side, so that's

rubbish, isn't it? Supposed to be for

cooking, isn't it? And then it can't even

not crack. After being used once.

Bit annoying because I want to do more

cooking stuff in the garden when I get

back.

Um, I don't think the car stinks.

I have been CUMing in it twice a day and

I forgot to— I put the CUM tissues in

this bag and I forgot to put it in the

bin, but thankfully doesn't

smell like C-U-M. Oh, and I got this

kettle.

You got this kettle, I put it here,

and then you plug it in here,

plug it in 12-volt socket.

Coffee and tea only takes 30 minutes.

Bada bing, bada bong. I'm gonna get

sardine juice all over my mattress,

aren't I?

Fuck, I thought I'd cook it with the

lighters. Um, maybe I'll use a towel.

How's your vape game? Uh, okay, I guess.

I'm a bit scared to vape on stream now cuz

the last stream got age restricted. I

think it was cuz of the cigarette, but I

edited out the cigarette bit and it still

stayed age-restricted even after review.

And it said something like dangerous

content with nicotine. How come drinking

beer is fine but then nicotine's not fine?

I don't know. I, I mean, the sardine's

pretty small. It should cook on the

lighter.

Got Haribo's.

You know what the scientists should

invent? They should invent like a

synthetic pussy smell.

How would you make that without an actual

woman? Because I'd buy

Maybe like yeast and urine. You know,

flies all over my car.

Where's my girl? She's under the car

Damn, I'm getting hungry.

Cooking with Daniel out the back of his

Tesla 2026, boys.

Pussy juice.

I love it when you get the girls underwear

and you rub it in the pussy juice. Smells

so good.

Welcome back to another episode of Cooking

with Daniel.

Hope it's enough to sustain me. I think

it's, um,

130, 134 calories per can.

I've got 2 cans, so that's 260 calories,

and this one is Half

a can is 71. Why don't they just put how

much is in the whole can? So 140

for this, so that's 400 calories

for all the fish, and then I don't know

about the bread. Should be like 500,

600. Why not date a Spanish girl? I don't

know. I mean, if she wanted to date,

you'd think she'd bring it up by now,

wouldn't she?

I don't know why she keeps asking to meet

if she's not interested in dating.

Does she not have friends? I mean, I'm not

really— I'm not really looking to date. I

mean, I am, but if I was— I mean, I am,

but if I was gonna date, I don't think I

want to date her, to be honest. She's not

really my type. I mean, she's got nice

hair. She's obviously interested.

I don't know, sometimes girls really do

just want to be friends.

You think if she was interested, she might

have hinted or made a move by now? Or

she's waiting for me to make a move. But

I'm not going to make a move because I'm

not really interested. I mean, I like

hanging out with her as a friend.

Who'd want to be friends with you? Yeah,

exactly. So I don't know,

like, what she wants really. Maybe she's

Oh yeah, I was gonna get my fork. I've got

shampoo here.

Just have her as a friend. Yeah, might as

well. I mean, I don't feel uncomfortable

when I hang out with her, which is good,

usually. So, the thing is with me is I

feel uncomfortable with a lot of people.

It's hard for me to find someone that I

feel comfortable hanging out with.

Like, sometimes even if you— oh, I found

my spoon. I was saying I couldn't find it

in the video. Now I can't— oh, I was gonna

say I can't find the fork. I found the

fork. Yeah, sometimes even if you have

cereal afterwards, it's still kind of

awkward and you just kind of want to go

home. So I find

it really difficult to find someone who I

can just hang out, and even if we're not

talking a lot It doesn't feel awkward. So

if you can find those people, I think

they're worth holding on to because

I'm quite a difficult person. I don't just

click and get on with everyone. I find

most people boring, or I find most

people uncomfortable to be around.

Da da dee dee dee dee. Got my tripod.

Damn, it's so peaceful here.

God, look at the countryside.

One thing that one

thing Spanish girl says I don't like is

she keeps. Complaining about the UK being

shit. But look at this,

it's beautiful. I think the UK is great.

I've been to loads of countries, I've

lived in loads of countries, I've been to

like 12 different countries, and I still

think the UK is the best.

Got the best food, it's got best

countryside, driving's best.

I don't know why people keep complaining

about the UK being shit. They're always

like, oh, I wish I could leave the

Been there, done that. I've been all over

Asia, I've been to loads of countries in

Europe. I lived in Rotterdam for like 9

months. That place sucked. I'm sure

Netherlands is nice outside of Rotterdam.

It's like living in London and saying UK's

rubbish. When it's just London that's

rubbish. This tripod's not staying still.

The problem is— ah, there you go. The

whole field is kind of on a hill, so

everything's kind of sloped. I don't know

how the people in the tents— I guess

that's where they go, down there. Fuck,

people coming.

Someone— 2 people are coming. They're

gonna walk by and go to the shower.

I'm just gonna pretend I'm not streaming.

Oh, they're gonna take ages to walk past,

aren't they? I can't even get privacy. In

the film.

I'm gonna go quiet for a little bit.

Don't walk in. Okay, they're gone.

Oh, why is this spot looking everywhere

there now though?

People coming.

It won't stay still.

Should have brought my knife.

They're not walking away, they're just

standing there.

I like the white one, matches my car.

They're going away, people. Shh,

shh,

shh. There's a lot of people

Got double the fire.

Oh, now we're cooking.

Problem is this, um, surface is not flat.

Maybe I'll fold this a bit.

Okay, so what I'm gonna do is I want

to drain the liquid a bit. Uh, oh,

it's pretty— oh,

it's oozing when I

pull it.

Oh, fishy.

Maybe I'll just drain it over here.

I don't know,

they put too much liquid in it.

Crips, do you like fish?

Sardines?

Oh, I choked on the sardine juice.

Oh fuck, I've got sardine juice on the

towel already.

Um.

Peter Brent,

lightly

It's not doing anything.

Oh, it's going a bit black.

It smells like lighter fuel.

Hmm, it's not— it's just going black.

Why is it just going black? It kind

Okay, um,

fuck, it's just falling

apart. Mm, smells like

Mmm, it's hot.

Um, I'm gonna do this.

The problem is when I poke it with the

fork, it all falls apart. I was gonna hold

it with the fork.

It's kind

of cooking.

I can't hold the other end because it's

too hot now. I'll just cook half of it.

Heat the tin? No, I want it

to be barbecued.

Did you fall out with your mum? No. I've

been at home with my mum since May. I

think May 19th I left Devon.

So it's been nearly 3

months at home, so I felt like

before summer's over, I want to go on an

adventure. And if no one wants to join me,

then I'll just do it myself. Fuck you.

Oh,

he's not a good person.

Fuck you, I'm a good person.

I pay my taxes.

I drive an EV, saving the planet.

I hate these people who like think they're

so morally superior because they believe

in this and they believe in that. Get off

your high horse. You ain't no better than

the rest of us. Stop kidding yourself.

Okay, that's the first one.

Get my tissue roll,

get the olive oil.

Crack open the— how am I going to open the

beer? Damn it,

I got a screwdriver.

Oh, that works pretty well. Anyway,

excuse me.

Smells pretty good.

Why they gotta make these lids so hard to

open? I just don't get it.

I got the Stonehenge Wiltshire beer.

I went to Stonehenge a couple days ago.

Yeah, I got this t-shirt as well.

Stonehenge is

the best henge in the world.

This tripod's really annoying.

Fucking hell.

Oh,

I nearly got it. Yeah. Oh fuck,

the glass is broken. What?

Do you like glass in your beer?

How did that happen?

Uh, where's my cup? Oh shit,

I think the cup's under the mattress.

Oh fuck. Um.

I can't put the beer down because the

ground's not flat.

Oh no, I think it's in the— is it in the

Or is it in the side?

Oh no, I think

it's under the mattress.

Careful.

Oh, where is it?

I never find it.

I keep losing stuff in my car.

Oh my God,

maybe it's

in the side bit. I'm gonna put the beer

there. Now I've got to find

the car before I can't drink the beer.

It's not in there.

Is it down there?

I don't want to cut my lips up on the

smashed bottle.

I reckon it's under the mattress.

I really can't

remember where I put the little cup.

Food's getting cold. Oh, there it is. Oh,

stupid fucking idiot.

I can never find anything.

Now, where'd I put the beer? Oh yeah,

Stonehenge beer in

the Somerset countryside.

Uh, where do I put it?

It's very convenient, these little flat

Damn, that's good. Holy shit, that's some

good beer.

Okay, sardines.

Yeah, olive oil.

Where's the olive oil?

What? Are you fucking kidding? Where's the

olive oil gone?

It was right here.

Oh, there it is.

Stupid car.

Okay,

drizzle of olive oil.

Um.

Looking good.

It's okay.

I give it 6 out of 10.

You want

Hmm,

it needs a bit more cooking.

Quick, get— someone

coming.

It's just like how they do it in Japan.

They do do it in Japan. They have

these big blowtorches and then they cook

the yakitori on it. Okay,

let's make the mackerel fillets.

Sardine is pretty good.

So this is in brine.

Oh, oh, oh.

Good thing it didn't go on my town.

The blowtorch is just a big lighter.

Ugh, what the fuck?

Smells okay.

How am I gonna cook that?

It looks like crab meat.

Wow, wow, yak yak, £50! Holy shit,

very generous. Don't go

on another hiatus. Well, if I get another

girlfriend, although from my experience

quitting YouTube, maybe I

should say no more. I don't want to anger

I don't know, like, if I get a new

girlfriend, maybe I will just continue

doing YouTube secretly. Because it's not

like not doing YouTube made any

difference, did it?

Cooking the macaroni.

I mean, if I had a girlfriend, I would be

doing this with the girlfriend, wouldn't

I? So I wouldn't be streaming. So it is

kind of like Either I stream because I'm

single, or I don't stream because I got a

girlfriend. Unfortunately, an ideal

situation is I have a girlfriend who wants

to stream with me, but that's very hard to

Okay, mackerel.

It's like

tuna.

I'm not a fan of the mackerel.

Sardines were better.

This looks like a big chunk of crab meat.

You had a few that streamed with you.

Yeah, I mean, it's not impossible, I

guess.

It's just very hard.

Mostly because they end up getting bullied

by my viewers and then they don't want to

do it anymore. Look, the mackerel.

Give this a try.

Oh, I don't like this one.

If I dip it in the tomato sauce,

should be good.

Mm, oh, that's better.

Yeah, way better now.

The olive oil is kind of pointless. I

can't taste it.

Sardines are way better.

Hmm, it's got a bit

more flavor when I burn it.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, it is pretty dry.

Nonchalant and dry as fuck, boy.

Dry.

I'm kind of full up already.

Oh wow, thanks, Crypt.

Dirty burning butane. Well,

I'm not an expert on blowtorches.

I'm already full up.

Oh God, I feel sick.

Oh, should I do the rolling around on the

floor and roll down the hill?

I can't believe people think I actually do

that. Off stream.

Oh God, oh, I feel sick.

Roll down the hill.

How many times do I have to say I'm

putting on an act on stream to make it

funny?

Obviously I'm not really like that in real

life,

but for some reason everyone's convinced

this is what I'm actually like.

People here will think I'm crazy if I

start rolling down the hill.

I also don't think I can finish the beer.

I'm just faking being bad at everything.

In real life, I succeed at everything I

do. First try.

Okay, now how am I going to clean this up?

Should just bought McDonald's. It's

getting cold as well.

Beer's really good though. It's got like a

very hoppy, flowery kind of taste.

Car's gonna smell of sardines. Oh God,

I think I'm nose blind to whatever it

smells like. So I've been nutting

in the car every day, like twice a day.

So I got that big roll of tissue.

I still got half a bottle of beer.

I'll put him up in back.

Car's gonna stink of sardines, isn't it?

Oh,

fuck.

Oh, whatever,

it'll be fine.

How am I going to wash the plate? I don't

have a sponge or anything.

Oh God, the car's going to stink of

mackerel.

Wow, it's cold.

Didn't finish this one. I'll save it for

tomorrow. This is my kitchen storage area

in there. Good thing about the Tesla is

it's got these side compartments here and

they go really deep. Look.

I got my coffee.

God, they're so deep. I got pot noodle.

It's like endless cavern down there.

Put my bread down there.

Uh, put the rubbish— actually, I should

put that in the bin.

The storage is really good in the Tesla.

God, I'm freezing.

I might make a tea. So this

is how I make tea. All right, you get your

kettle.

And then you,

um, get the water. I don't

know what this bit's for.

Put the water in.

I don't know what to do with the beer. I

might put the beer in one of these

bottles.

Yeah,

put up here and then

Get this cable.

No, I don't have anything to block the

windows, but the windows are tinted so you

can't see in them anyway.

Okay, so it's currently at 23°.

It's weird.

Usually it doesn't fall over.

Oops. Usually it— oh, there you go.

They say about 30 minutes.

Uh, get a tissue for the plate, I guess.

If you got a light on inside at night,

people might see. Yeah, but there's no

light inside when I'm going to bed. The

lights turn off.

See, look, um, because there's

a reflection. The reflection's stronger

than what you can see. I mean, no one's

going to be coming up to my car and

peering inside. Pretty sure no one here is

a creep. I mean, if they want to watch me

wank, then be my guest.

Also, you can see my reflection in the

sunroof when I'm wanking. It's pretty hot.

Any foxes or deers at night? I haven't

seen any. I did see a pack of deer

crossing the road once when I was driving

home at night. They look so weird

to see in person up front close. They look

like CGI or something. Look at the other

It's actually really peaceful. Can you

imagine just having unlimited money and

then all you do is just chill out on a

field? That'd be so cool.

Um, still half a bottle of beer.

The guy at the Hartridge Springs place was

so friendly. Although I think he's got

dementia. I don't know. He kept telling me

the same thing multiple times. I get rid

of this water.

Oh yeah, he was saying he was going to be

on TV. You know this TV show called Four

in a Bed? It's like they go to Airbnbs and

bed and breakfasts and they rate the place

and it's like a competition. He said the

film crew came a couple weeks ago, so

he'll be on TV in about 6 months on

Channel 4, 4 in a Bed.

It's pretty cool.

He was really, like, really into his whole

business thing. He was like explaining

everything to me, like how he built the

domes. How he installed the hot tubs.

I felt like I was a share investor, like a

shareholder, and he was explaining to me

the business plan. Like, you could really

tell that he has a passion for what he's

doing. It was cool.

Okay, beeru. That definitely doesn't look

like something else.

I'll save the beer. 0 to 60,

I think it's like 5 seconds. That's pretty

fast. Everyone's so damn slow when

the traffic lights go green. Everyone's

like doing 0 to 30 in 10 seconds.

Wow, look at the view. Damn,

I really want to find like a cliff edge

campsite. The next campsite I'm going to

is kind of rubbish, it's next to a Lidl.

I booked this one because it's scenic,

because I wanted to have a scenic campsite

at first and then I'd move— downgrade

myself to a less scenic one for

convenience to save up a bit more money.

And then I want to find something scenic,

like on the coast maybe.

The problem with this place is it's kind

of far from anything.

How long you camping for? I don't know,

until I get bored I guess. I don't really

have to go home, do I? I can just stay as

long as I want.

Get my tea. I got green

tea. Look, I got this storage compartment

thing down there. I brought my dumbbell as

well so I could exercise.

Did you bang up your Tesla? Uh, I got a

big dent on one of the doors, actually 2

but whatever, don't really care. I've

never really been one to care about

damaging a car. When I first

got my Peugeot, my very first car, when I

first scratched it, I was heartbroken. I

was like, oh my God, I can't believe it.

But you get to a point where you just— I

mean, it's a tool at the end of the day.

It's a nice-looking tool, and people get

so fussed up about a tiny little scratch

here and there.

Who cares?

Look, I'll show you me getting into the

Yeah, I smashed up that Peugeot so badly I

couldn't believe the dealership took it in

for £6,000. They said if it wasn't

damaged, you'd probably get another £2,000

Because I rev— I tried to— yeah, I

reversed into a space and then I got

stuck, and then I kind of brute-forced my

way out and then pressed the side of the

car into a corner, a concrete corner, and

it just bent the door out of shape. I

can't get my tripod to stand up.

I like sardine juice on my towel.

Oh wow, thanks David.

Don't get burned out again. Yeah,

I'll try not to. I think

the problem with Kick was I wasn't doing

anything. I was just sitting in the house.

Um, farming KCIP, and I, I kind

of just lost interest in doing anything.

But I felt like I had to, to get that

money. I mean, I did a lot

of stuff on Kick before I burnt out. We

did road trips, I went nearly everywhere

What happened to my Citroën? I traded it

in for the Tesla. So basically, the Tesla,

I got it at this dealership, not the Tesla

dealership, I got it at a secondhand car

dealership. They paid off my Citroën C4

PCP. They fully paid it off for me.

And then they gave me the Tesla and set me

up a new PCP. Yeah,

if you're on Kick, you would know all the

stuff we got up to, like finding the

iPhone, returning it to the guy at the,

at the pub, going to the post office

with the monitor.

Did I not go to a restaurant?

You don't want to be a target of road

rage attack. It's funny because I've never

had anyone be rude to me because I'm

driving a Tesla. In fact, the opposite.

I've had so many people come up to me

because they're curious about— I was

sitting in the car park in Morrison's,

guy just came up, tapped on the window,

and I was like, oh God, is he going to

tell me off? And then he started asking me

questions like, what's the mileage like?

And then, like, kids love it.

So I delivered a McDonald's to this

international school, and it was like they

had like an African studies department

with African teacher. So I said, I'm here,

I'm at the reception, and an African woman

teacher with like 3 African kids come

along and they see the Tesla, they all

start posing in front of it. And taking

selfies. It was hilarious. They were— I

was like trying to get back in my car and

they were lining up to take selfies in

front of the car. It was so funny.

Everyone loves the Tesla. Like, I get

compliments all the time.

What's wrong with the Citroën? The range

was terrible. It had an advertised range

of 180, but really you only get 150.

And also the range estimate— estimator

thing was useless. It was really

unreliable. So imagine you're doing a

50-mile journey, it would take off like 80

miles off the range. But in the Tesla,

when you do 50 miles, it actually takes

off 50 miles, maybe 55 if you're driving

fast. The efficiency in the Tesla for some

reason is really good, like it actually

does the miles that you're gonna do. So if

you put in your destination in Google Maps

and it says 30 miles, you'll get there and

it has actually used 30 miles and not 50.

The Citroën was like adding 50% miles

to whatever trip you're doing, and it was

just getting such a pain. I was getting

range anxiety, couldn't go anywhere far

without charging all the time. Also,

listen, the charge speeds are ridiculous

on this thing. In, in the Peugeot and the

Citroën, the maximum speed for charging is

like 60 kilowatts.

On this, I get 160 kilowatt charging

speeds. That's like triple— that's like

almost triple the speed of charging.

Sometimes it charges so fast I don't even

have time to go and walk over to

McDonald's. I have to get the McDonald's

first and eat whilst I charge, otherwise

it finishes charging before I get back to

Thirdly, the cameras on this are amazing!

You've got 6 cameras! You've got a rear,

you've got 2 blind spot cameras, you've

got 2 forward-facing cameras, and you've

got the front camera. You always got a

360-degree view of everything, and you can

bring the cameras up on the screen when

you're driving. So I always have the

cameras on the screen when I'm driving.

So I can always see what's behind me.

Yeah, you could use the mirror, but the

mirror is tiny and all you see is like a

slot out the back and it's not very clear.

With the cameras, you see everything

that's around you. It's so useful,

especially with pedestrians, because for

some reason, fucking pedestrians, when

you're trying to reverse and park,

pedestrians love coming right up to your

car trying to walk around you. When you

see the reverse lights on, you see I'm

trying to park, don't come fucking near

me, you stupid bitch.

And then you like, you don't notice them

and they give you a stupid face like, oh,

what are you doing? Get the fuck out of

the way, I'm trying to park here. Why,

why do you want to walk near my car when

I'm reversing?

Yeah, so you got— I got 250-mile

range on this versus like 160 on the

Peugeot and Citroën. The range is actually

accurate. The speed

of charging is way faster.

Battery's way bigger, 62 kilowatts versus

like 40. On the Peugeot and Citroën.

You've got the cameras, which are great.

You've got the speed— it's so fast,

and it's so big and comfortable to sit in.

It's just a great car.

My only complaint is the lane assist is

really annoying. It keeps going off when

I'm on country roads, even though I'm

nowhere near the edge of the lane,

because it gets confused. And you can turn

it off, but then it turns itself back on

when you get back in the car. And also the

auto braking is really scary. At one time

the car thought I was going to hit a

pedestrian and it auto braked. It just

slammed the brakes and I was like, whoa,

what the hell? I wasn't even close to

hitting the pedestrian. It's just because

I was going a bit fast around the corner.

You can turn it off, but then it keeps

turning itself back on when you get back

in the car. It's really annoying.

The kettle's only at 22 degrees.

Might get in the car, it's cold.

I don't know if I sit in the front. I

bought— I mean, I brought one of those

camping chairs.

But it's more comfortable just sitting in

the driver's seat. Oh, oh, it's cold!

Shut the other door. I also, I love the

button to open the door. It's not a

handle, you press the button. Look, look,

watch, it opens itself.

Look, you press the button, it opens

itself.

And these handles, you just press this

button. It's not that hard really.

My mum keeps complaining about it.

She keeps saying it's hard to open. It's

not that hard.

Look, you got a camera here.

Oh yeah, you got the camera here.

What's that? I don't know if that's

blood or if it's just a raspberry or

something. You should see all the flies.

Oh, other thing is, you know, usually in

normal cars they got the front grille and

all the flies you hit just kind of get

sucked up into it. Because there's no

front grille and the front of the car is

just flat, It's like a massive fly swat.

I can't show it to you because I don't

want to dox my license plate.

So I'm constantly having to clean all

these dead flies off,

off the front of the car. We're at 28

degrees. That's the main annoying thing

about camping here with the car is It

takes like 30 minutes to make a coffee.

Put the heating on. Oh, there's all flies

in here now. All the flies are going to

come in here now because of the fish

smell. Oh,

cold! Oh, oh,

oh,

man, spasm.

Might eat my Stonehenge chocolate. I got

scammed. I thought it was a Stonehenge

tarot card deck and it only had 3 cards

in it and the rest of it was just

chocolate. Meow. Oh, I'm getting cold

spasms. Where's my tripod?

I'll put the heating on when I'm sleeping.

So look, I've got 194 miles range.

79%. If I leave my Starlink plugged in all

night, it takes off like 10 miles range of

battery. Ah, tripod.

I think I'll put it in the side pocket.

And also on this screen you got an

internet browser, YouTube,

Netflix. I haven't signed in because I

never use it, to be honest. What else you

got on it? You got games,

you got Apple Music, Zoom,

you got internet browser, calendar. Oh,

it's nice and warm now. Oh yeah,

see, you can't do this in a petrol car

without keeping the— if you had a petrol

car, you would have to have the engine on

to Do you have heating? You'd be burning

gas.

Well, I'm burning battery, I guess. Also,

you've got these scrolly wheels. This

one's for volume, this is for cruise

control, but it's stupid because I never

use cruise control. I wish you could

change this one to the air conditioning,

the temperature, because it's annoying.

You've got to keep pressing these buttons

there. It'd be nice if

you could change this one so it adjusts

the heating temperature. Heat kills the

battery? Barely. It barely uses any

battery for the heating.

We've got a massive battery.

Um, yeah, Starlink works perfectly here

through the window. I've got 200 megabits

download, 40 megabits upload. If I put it

outside, it might be quicker, I don't

know, but it's fast enough.

I don't like cruise control. I don't like

automated driving. I feel scared. Look,

you can just twist this around as well.

It's pretty cool.

And look, if you open the door, it opens

the door on the little display.

See, look,

that's so cool.

Look, I know a lot of people don't like

Elon Musk. But you have to

admit, his companies make some pretty

fucking cool stuff. Who else has a

satellite dish that gets internet from

satellites that his company launched into

space? And Tesla is easily the best

EV on the market.

Say what you want about the guy and his

views or whatever, I'm not saying I agree

with his views, but his companies make

some damn good stuff. That's why he's the

richest man in the world.

And then they're like, oh, but to make the

Tesla, you gotta burn all these fossil

fuels to mine the lithium out of the

earth. Yeah, But the

amount of CO2 emissions that are cut down

by driving a Tesla far dwarf

the fossil fuels used to make the battery.

By far. I mean, look at the rockets.

Starlink's— I mean, SpaceX rockets push

out all this CO2 from the rocket fuel,

and you think, oh, it's destroying the

atmosphere. Yeah, but it's minuscule

in comparison to the CO2 emissions that

are reduced by driving a Tesla.

And then people say, oh, Elon Musk is

greedy, he doesn't do anything to help

people, he doesn't do anything to save the

planet. He's probably doing more than

fucking most people. Spearheading the

electric vehicle revolution.

Um, internet wherever you want thanks

to satellites.

Yeah,

okay, maybe he's got some far-right views,

whatever. So maybe, maybe the CEO of

Kellogg's Corn Flakes has far-right views.

You just don't know because he doesn't

tweet or say anything.

Does it have sleep mode? It just kind of

goes into sleep mode automatically when

you don't touch anything. It has camp mode

as well, but I haven't used it because it

hasn't been cold or hot enough to need the

air. I turned the air conditioning off

overnight because it drains battery. I

just turn it off. But if you have camp

mode on, it would keep plugged-in things

charging and keep the heating and

temperature stable.

Yeah, so all the Elon haters— sure,

fair enough if you don't agree with his

political views, fine. But his companies

make some good stuff.

Let me just open my chocolate.

I can't open the chocolate.

Ah, why do they make these plastic bags

so hard to open? Why can't they just put

like a perforated edge?

I got the Moon taro chocolate.

People hate Elon. They're always these

woke people, aren't they?

They'll hate on Elon,

but then they'll drive the shitty banger

petrol cars spewing out CO2. Whilst

claiming that Elon does nothing to save

Well, the woke people always say Elon's

far right. I mean, to woke

people, every fucking thing is far right

if you don't agree with what they say. If

you don't agree with anything these woke

people say, they'll just say, oh, you're

far right. You're a Nazi.

They always either call you an incel or a

Nazi or a racist

if you don't agree with anything they say.

They're fucking stupid.

And then if you try and debate them

Instead of saying, oh yeah, you got a

point there, they just either block you or

they just call you a racist,

or they just tell you to fuck off and die.

That's like the only way they respond to

criticism. Well, they pull up some

retarded stat like, oh,

10% of blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.