All my ex girlfriends were ugly

So as you may know, I've had quite a few

relationships in the past with multiple

women, and ever since I've started talking

about my ex-girlfriends, a lot of people

have been leaving comments and asking me

things like, can you show us a picture of

your ex-girlfriends? What did they look

like? And I just wanted to say, no, I

can't show you their pictures. I want to

protect their privacy. I don't feel that

it's right to just be sharing their

pictures without their permission to a

bunch of, to be honest, kind of strange

random people on the internet. So if you

were wondering how attractive were my

ex-girlfriends, what kinds of women were

actually willing to have sexual

intercourse with this person? And I just

want to be completely transparent here,

half of my ex-girlfriends have been

average at best and the other half have

been below average. And for me, that's

always been fine. I've never really,

really wanted an amazingly beautiful

girlfriend. Sure, in a perfect world,

that would be fantastic. It would also be

fantastic to be really rich and live

forever. For me personally, I really don't

mind being in a relationship with someone

who's average or below average because

when you turn off the lights, everyone

looks the same. But this isn't a perfect

world, this is reality, and I know my

limitations. When I go onto dating

websites, I completely ignore all the

really attractive, the really beautiful

girls because I know myself that they're

not gonna be interested in me. I know that

I don't really have much or any chance

with them. So do I start crying about the

fact that I can't get a really beautiful

girlfriend? Do I go on a murderous rampage

because I can't get the ideal girl that I

really want? No, I think realistically,

and I aim for women who I consider to be

around the same level as me, or less

attractive than me, or who are

considerably older than me. And I focus my

efforts on women that I feel like I have a

higher chance of success with. I don't

want to waste my time chasing really

beautiful women when I know that I have

pretty much no chance with them. I look at

myself in the mirror and I realize that I

lack a lot of the qualities that really

beautiful women desire in men. For

example, money, wealth, masculinity,

physical strength, confidence. I don't

possess any of those attributes. So I

realize myself that I have an extremely

low chance of success with women who find

those qualities attractive or desirable,

which is the majority of women. So what do

I do? Do I stay a virgin forever and

fantasize about having an amazingly

beautiful girlfriend, which I know that I

could never get? Or do I set my sights

lower, take what I can get, and have my

sexual needs fulfilled? I think you know

which option I went for. I'm not a fussy

guy. I'll take what I can get. You know,

married women, older women, women with

mental issues, women with children. I have

relationship experience with all of those

kinds of women. If it means that I can

have my sexual desires fulfilled, then I'm

really not a fussy eater. I'll take what I

can get. I guess I'm kind of like a hyena.

I'm not a lion going around hunting. I'm

scrounging around for scraps. I'm looking

for leftovers because, you know, hyenas

have to eat as well. I'm perfectly fine

not being a lion, and let me tell you why.

So as a pretty needy and insecure guy,

for me, having a really beautiful

girlfriend would be the equivalent of

giving a tiny ant a gigantic pile of

sugar. That tiny ant has to protect that

massive pile of sugar from all of the

other nasty insects and creatures in the

wild. Can you imagine how much stress that

poor little ant would be under having to

protect his pile of sugar from the other

insects? He would have to be on constant

lookout to make sure other insects weren't

licking his pile of sugar. Do you think I

want that stress? I don't want to have

that kind of stress in my life. If I had

an amazingly beautiful girlfriend, she

would be constantly attracting the

attention of other males. Other males

would be constantly trying to hit on her,

trying to get her attention, trying to pry

her away from me. And as a super insecure

guy with low self-esteem, worrying about

those things would drive me absolutely

crazy. If you gave me the choice, I'd much

rather have a less attractive,

average-looking girlfriend than some kind

of superstar, amazingly beautiful

girlfriend, because it would just be so

much easier. It would be so much less

stress in my life. And the problem with

really beautiful girls is they realize

that they're really beautiful and they

take advantage of that. They'll treat you

like shit because they know that they can

get away with it. They're more likely to

jump ship if they find someone who's

better. And this is why I'd rather be in a

relationship with a married woman who has

burn scars all over her body because she

set herself on fire trying to commit

suicide, and she couldn't even get that

I'd much rather be in a relationship with

a woman like that than some kind of

amazingly beautiful woman who looks like a

supermodel. So if you tried giving me a

gigantic pile of sugar, I'd say, no, no,

I don't want your sugar. You can keep your

sugar. Why don't you just give me a big

steaming pile of shit? Because then at

least I would know that all the other

insects and creatures of the wild won't be

interested in licking my pile of shit.

Unless you're a dung beetle. You bloody

dung beetles can bloody well piss off.

The fuck am I talking about?

No, Paul, you're ruining my YouTube video!