WHY do girls do this

Hey, so in the last video I was talking

about how my girlfriend was giving me the

silent treatment. Well, turns out she

dumped me.

Better get back onto Japan Cupid, I guess.

No, no, I'm just kidding. Everything's

okay. Calm down. I'm still going to Japan.

So it turns out that the reason why she

was giving me the silent treatment wasn't

because I was going on and on at her about

YouTube or about my interests. It was

because I failed to realize how hard it's

been for her, how much she's been

struggling just having 2 to 3 hours of

sleep every day. Now, this came to a real

surprise to me because I had no idea that

there was any problems at all. I thought

everything was okay because when we first

started Skyping, we, we talked about this.

We decided on what time would be best to

Skype each other, and we decided on after

midnight in Japan because that was when

her daughter went to sleep. So For about 2

months, we had been Skyping from 12 AM

Japan time until about 2 to 3 AM Japan

time, and she would wake up around 5 AM

Japan time. So she was only sleeping about

2 to 3 hours, which I knew. And I did ask

her if she was okay, if that was— if she

was okay with doing that, and she said it

was fine because she had been taking naps

in the afternoon and naps in the evening.

So I thought Okay, if it's okay with you,

then that's fine. But apparently

everything wasn't okay. She had been

struggling at work because she was so

tired. She had been getting irritated with

her daughter because she was sleep

deprived, and she even had a car accident

where she drove into the back of the car

in front of her. It wasn't a big accident,

she just slightly bumped into the car in

front of her. And this had been going on

for weeks, and I had no idea about it

because she didn't say anything about this

until A few days later when she was giving

me the silent treatment and I asked her if

there was anything wrong, if she was

angry, and then suddenly she let it all

out. It was like she was waiting for me to

notice that there was something wrong and

she was waiting for me to put a stop to

all the midnight Skyping. And because I

failed to realize that there was something

wrong with her, she kind of got upset and

angry with me. The thing I find really

confusing is why didn't she speak up

earlier? If there was something wrong,

why didn't she say something? Why did she

hide it for so long that she was

struggling and really tired? Why didn't

she say she had a car accident? It's like

she wanted me to notice that there was a

problem, but then she hid it so well. How

was I supposed to notice? I'm not the kind

of person to make a fuss over people. I'm

not the kind of person to go, are you

okay? Are you sure everything's okay? I

just assume that if there's something

wrong, that that person is going to speak

up and say that there's something wrong

and tell me about it instead of hiding it

and then giving me the silent treatment

because I didn't realize that anything was

wrong. She said that the reason why she

didn't want to tell me that she was really

struggling with all this midnight Skyping

was because she didn't feel comfortable

telling me that she was upset about

something, and she wanted me to realize on

my own and notice that she was struggling.

And this is what I don't understand about

women. I don't know if it's women in

general who are like this, or if it's

mostly mainly Japanese women, but they do

this thing where If there's something that

they're upset about, if there's something

that they're not happy about, they won't

speak up about it. They'll just put up

with it until they get really fed up, and

then they get angry, and then they give

you the silent treatment, and then they

don't tell you anything. They stop talking

to you, and then you're just left

wondering, what did I do wrong? What went

wrong? And it's really confusing. And then

you ask them what's wrong, and then

suddenly it all comes out. I think that a

lot of girls have this thing where they

want the guy to realize, they want the guy

to notice, because it shows that the guy

really cares about the girl and that the

guy is really thinking about the girl.

And I guess I wasn't really thinking about

her that much. I wasn't thinking to

myself, is she really okay with Skyping

this late at night? I think this is also

similar to the, um, if you don't know

what's wrong, then there's no point in me

telling you kind of problem, which is

another thing I don't understand about

girls. I don't understand why they don't

just talk normally. Why don't they just

express themselves instead of just waiting

for the guy to pick up on hints that

there's a problem. And this is something I

find really tricky with relationships.

It's this breakdown of communication. I

just wish she would tell me things

straight. I wish she would just tell me if

there's something wrong. I guess it's kind

of like me and my coworker. If my coworker

does something or says something to me

that I'm not happy about, then I won't

speak up about it. I'll just remain

silent, and I kind of give him the silent

treatment, but But I feel like that's

different because a coworker relationship

isn't as personal as a romantic

relationship. My dad's like this as well.

He won't say anything if there's something

upsetting him. He'll just remain silent

and try and put up with it for a while,

but then he loses his patience and then he

just— he lets it all out. Actually, I had

a huge argument with my dad last week

about a coffee cup because after I

finished drinking coffee, sometimes I

forget to put the coffee cup into the

dishwasher. And I leave it on the

fireplace on top of the mantelpiece, and

he really hates that. And for the last few

weeks, he's been going into the living

room and he's been tidying up my coffee

cups, and he didn't say anything about it.

And then a few days ago, he was kind of

stressed and he started moaning at me

about it, and I was kind of stressed and I

shouted back at him, it's just a coffee

cup, why do you have to make such a big

fuss about it? And we had this huge row

over a coffee cup. I had no idea my coffee

cups were irritating him so much. If he

had just told me straight from the

beginning that he didn't like seeing dirty

coffee cups being left around on top of

the mantelpiece, then I would have stopped

doing it. But he didn't. He waited until

he had run out of patience, and then we

had a huge argument over nothing, over a

coffee cup. I was under the impression

that she really wanted to Skype every

night because a few weeks ago there was

this time when I was really busy. I had a

lot of translation work to do. I had

illustration to do, and I really wanted to

concentrate on doing those things, and I

didn't feel like talking to her on Skype.

So I said to her, I'm kind of busy today,

can we not Skype today? And she sounded

kind of upset. She was like, okay, if

you're too busy to talk with me, then I'll

just go to sleep. And she went to sleep,

and I felt really guilty about it. I felt

like I was letting her down. I felt like I

was disappointing her. But it turns out

she's not really that fussed about Skyping

every day. We did Skype for half an hour

yesterday. While she was driving home from

work, which was new. I didn't realize that

she was okay with Skyping whilst driving.

I thought it'd be a bit tricky talking to

her on Skype when she was in a car because

I thought that the engine noise would be

really loud, but Japanese cars are really

silent. I couldn't hear the engine noise

at all. And then she went to a pet store

to buy cat food, and I could hear her high

heels clicking when she walked, and it was

kind of strange because I've never dated a

woman who wears high heels. It felt kind

of grown up. So everything's okay between

us now. She's not angry anymore. She's

forgiven me. We're still meeting up. She

hasn't dumped me. I'm still going to

Japan. And actually, I feel a lot better

now because I don't have this pressure of

having to Skype her every day. And my

message to women: stop giving guys the

silent treatment. If there's something

you're unhappy about, if you're upset

about something, just tell us. We're not

mind readers.