Another Boring Night In Germany

Hello.

Hello? Shh,

shh, it's nighttime. Stop shouting.

Hello, I'm in Germany.

I found out something amazing.

There's internet in the hotel room and

it's really good.

Let me see.

It's pretty good, isn't it?

What if I sit here? You can see.

I sit here.

Wow, wow.

Hello,

how is everyone?

Oh yeah, apparently the Notre Dame in

Paris is on fire. That's pretty

funny. Good job, they just

burned down one of the most— one of the

oldest cathedrals in Paris that

was built almost 1,000 years ago. Now it's

Burning. Good job. How could they let it

set on fire? I don't understand.

Why does my mouth keep making clicking

sounds? I don't know.

I want to talk to you about what happened

today. I want to tell you all

the fun things I did today.

Guys, if you don't see the humor in the

Notre Dame burning down, then you don't

have a sense of humor. I'm sorry, that's

just true.

If you can't laugh at that, then you can't

laugh at anything.

Oh, and then some guy in England, um,

I don't know if he got arrested or not,

but it said that charges— I can't remember

what the wording was. I think he got

arrested. Because he made a cardboard box

replica of the Grenfell Towers and then he

set it on fire. So he's getting arrested

for burning a box. That's so

stupid.

There's not really much to talk about

actually. I don't even know what to make a

video about because absolutely nothing is

happening. So this is what I did today.

I woke up at about— I woke up quite early

actually. I woke up around 8 or 9 AM,

ate my sandwich,

watched a bit of YouTube, played Rainbow

Six, brushed my teeth, had a shower. And

then around 2 PM, I decided to go out, go

outside, and it was just so boring.

I just walked around for hours and hours

and hours, and my feet are killing me now.

I went to the supermarket. I got trapped

in the supermarket. Took me ages to get

there because my Google Maps kept telling

me I was in the wrong place. Oh, thank

you, Viper. Can I explain the humor in the

burning? Because it's a really old

building and lots of people are going to

be upset about it, so it's kind of funny.

You know that German word when other

people's misery makes you laugh?

Schadenfreude or something. What was I

saying? Yeah, I went to the supermarket.

I got trapped inside because you You can't

exit from the entrance. The door doesn't

open when you try and exit from the

entrance door, which is stupid. And I felt

really stupid trying to exit, and I was

standing in front of the automatic door

and it wasn't opening. And you can only

get out by walking past the cashier,

but I didn't buy anything because I didn't

want to buy anything because there was

nothing good there. It was just raw meat

and vegetables and fruit. And there was

nothing instant I could eat, so that was a

waste of time. So I felt a bit trapped. I

went to the door and then I walked away

from the door because I felt stupid

standing in front of it, and I waited for

someone else to come into the shop so that

I could slip out whilst the doors were

opening. Oh, it was so awkward.

I didn't want to walk past the cashier

without buying anything. They would think

I shoplifted. Or something.

And then I walked around all these streets

and there was just nothing. It was just

buildings and buildings and buildings.

And these buildings didn't even look like—

you know, in games, you know, in those old

games, or well, modern games as well,

when you're in a city and the game

developers have made, you know, quite a

big city and they've put buildings But you

can't go into the buildings. They just

look like— they look like buildings, but

you know that there's nothing to them.

They're just fake buildings that

are there to make the city look like a

city. That's what it feels like. You know,

in GTA 5 you get some shops and buildings

you can walk into because they're either a

hairdresser or a food place, but then 90%

of the other buildings in GTA are just

like these copy and paste models that

don't serve any purpose and you can't go

in there and nothing happens. It's like

that, just buildings and buildings and

buildings that look like they don't serve

any purpose. And there's just no shops

anywhere. I couldn't find a single

convenience shop or store.

It's just really weird. German people

don't seem to want to have convenience

stores around. Maybe they don't enjoy

convenience. Maybe they enjoy walking.

Maybe they enjoy— I don't know what they

enjoy. They're weird. Why don't they have

convenience stores anywhere? Couldn't find

anything to eat, and I finally found the

petrol station, and all I bought was some

orange juice and beef jerky. They didn't

even sell sandwiches.

They just had chocolate and crisps, and

the crisps here are weird because you

can't get small packets of crisps. They

will come in these huge bags. I don't want

a huge bag of crisps. I just want a small

bag, small packet of crisps. Why would I

want a massive bag of crisps?

And then I walked and I walked and I

walked and I ended up walking back to the

train station and I went back to the same

shop and I just got myself,

I got myself a couple of these wraps and I

got the same sandwich. I feel so bored

with the food. I'm basically eating

sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, and

dinner because I don't know where to get

food, and that's all they sell in that

crappy little supermarket. All they sell

in that supermarket are those sandwiches.

They have salami and cheese, ham and

cheese, and tuna, and that's it. And then

they have some wraps, and they have some

bagels, but the bagels taste horrible.

And they have boxes of salad, and all the

rest of the food there is just Either

bread or sausages in a jar or

frozen food.

Yeah, it's called Edeka. So crap.

That's the only place I can go to because

if you go to a supermarket, all they have

is raw food and frozen food. They don't

have any ready meals. What the

fuck was that? Stupid laptop, I thought I

turned it off.

Yeah, there's no shops anywhere that just

sell food. Yeah, there's McDonald's and

there's KFC and there's Pizza Hut, but I

can't go into fast food because I don't

want to order. I don't want to have to

tell them what I want, I just want to pick

it up and take it to the counter.

So I don't know where I can just get— I

don't know, where can I find a shop where

there's more variety of sandwiches, or a

shop that has food that's instant, that

doesn't need to be cooked? Oh,

thank you, Aaron K. There's a law in

Germany that requires convenience stores

to be a minimum size, and therefore—

that's so stupid.

In Japan, you can go anywhere And there's

about 5 convenience stores on the same

street and they sell amazing food. Even in

England, there's convenience stores

everywhere. You get Tesco Express, you get

Marks Spencer's, you have Waitrose, you

have Co-op, these little stores, and they

have so much variety.

And I walked around for hours and hours

and hours trying to find a shop where I

could buy some better food. I couldn't

find anything apart from these stupid

cafes Where there was just a bunch of old

German people sitting outside in chairs.

Such a sad way of living. Do they just sit

outside cafes all day chit-chatting,

doing nothing? So boring.

I'm just so sick of the food. All I'm

eating are these, these stupid sandwiches

every day— breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

And I had a some crisps

and I got a packet of Kit Kats which all

melted because I put it next to my laptop

and was blobbing on it. I didn't realize,

and then they all melted.

And then this stupid hotel doesn't even

have a coffee maker. I just— I assumed

that all hotels have a coffee maker or a

kettle at least, but then I checked the

website and it doesn't actually say that

they have a coffee maker. So now I'm very

worried about my next hotel, and I spent

most of today looking for a hotel. I

decided to go for a hotel over an Airbnb

because it works out that an Airbnb isn't

actually cheaper than a hotel unless

you're staying there for a month or more.

Otherwise, if you're just staying for a

couple days or 2 weeks, you might as well

get a hotel.

But this time I made sure to check that

there's a coffee maker in the room, and it

definitely says coffee maker. So it'd be

nice to finally have coffee again. I

haven't had coffee for ages. Well,

actually, I haven't had coffee since 2

days ago, but it feels like ages.

So I booked a different hotel for 5

And that hotel cost £270 for 5

nights, and it looks

a lot better. It's also in a different—

well, it's not in a different part, but

it's a bit further away from the train

station in the main city center, so

hopefully there's more shops around there.

This area I'm in is on the other side of

the train station where there's nothing

but big apartment blocks and no shops.

Oh, thank you, Will. How long am I staying

in Germany? Well, the plan is that there's

a Turkish girl coming to see me, and I'm

gonna meet her and see how that goes.

But she's not coming until the 22nd, so I

have to wait until the 22nd, and then I'll

see how that goes. She's not going to stay

for long. She'll stay for a couple days,

maybe a few days, and then after that, I

guess There's not really— there's no other

reason to stay here. I mean, the German

girl was a flop. There's no one else

interested in meeting me. Oh, thank you,

Nisse Holten. Order an escort? Yeah, I

checked the escort site and they cost

about €200 for an hour. It's a lot of

money. Well,

there are a few other people who want to

meet me, but they're too far away.

There's one girl in Stuttgart, but I'm not

gonna— it takes 4 hours by train. Or 1

hour by the— nearly 2 hours by the

high-speed train. Or I could get a plane,

which would take 1 hour. But it's just so

far, it's on the other side of Germany,

and I don't want to go all that way unless

it's guaranteed sex.

Someone else also, a guy, invited me to

come to Hamburg. He said that he's

bisexual, and then he asked— he said to me

that if I'm feeling sexually frustrated

and I would like to experiment with a guy,

he would be interested because he finds me

attractive. But I don't think I'm that

desperate yet. I don't

know, do you guys want me to experience

homo serial? I would for a certain amount

I probably won't reply to him, but he

wrote me a very long email. It's very nice

of him. He said that he would like to hang

out, have a coffee or a drink. I got a

couple of invites from guys who asked me

if I wanted to hang out, go for a drink.

I don't really want to, to be honest.

I just don't really think it will be fun

or interesting for me personally.

Nothing against you.

So my options are go to Hamburg to meet

this bisexual guy or wait for the Turkish

girl. The Turkish girl seems nice and she

seems pretty interested in me. Diana H,

thank you. Would I ever visit the United

States? Well, if a girl messaged me and

said she would have sex sex, probably.

But, um, yeah, so the Turkish girl,

you might be saying, well, Daniel, what if

the same thing happens again with the

German girl? Come on, what are the odds

of the exact same thing happening again?

The same thing isn't gonna happen again,

guys. That would be crazy if the Turkish

girl came and then the same thing happened

and she ditches me after coming to the

hotel. No way, there's a higher chance,

chance of World War 3 starting.

Oh, thank you, T-Pop Thief. I'll pay $100

for you to try with the guy. No,

what if I like it?

I don't think I could get it to stand.

I'm just trying to picture a naked guy and

then him bending over or something. It's

just so weird, I couldn't do it. I'd be so

weirded out.

So yeah, I am feeling pretty confident

about the Turkish girl, mainly because I

just don't believe that the same thing,

the same bad luck, would happen to me

twice. That would just be weird.

And then I don't know, if that doesn't

work out, I might go to Spain because

there's a girl in Spain who seems to be

quite interested. And I asked

her if she wanted to stay in a hotel with

me in the capital of Spain. Don't actually

know what the capital of Spain is, and she

said yes to it, so there's potential

there if she's agreeing to come into a

hotel with me. I don't know though,

depends really. It's hard to make plans

when all your plans depend on what a

girl's gonna do when you meet her.

All my plans are dependent on these

different women that I've never even met.

I don't know if that's adventurous enough

for you. Well, I like to live my

life on a, on a rowing boat. That's

controlled by the wind.

Might as well stay home. Yeah, at this

rate I might as well have stayed home

because I haven't had any sex apart from

one, but I don't really want to tell you

about it. Use Tinder? I am

using Tinder, but I have absolutely no

luck, and the only girls that are matching

on Tinder are kind of fat and ugly. There

were a couple of cuties, but they didn't

reply to me. And I'm just so fed up

and sick of having to woo women

and take them out on a date and go to a

restaurant. I'm just so fed up with it.

Oh, thank you, Sean Taylor. Do I worry

I'll get caught in MeToo? I'm not sure

what that is. I heard about it, but I

forgot. I'm just so sick of Of the whole

dating process. You know, you meet up with

a girl, go to a restaurant, have some

rubbish meal, you make some boring

chitchat conversation, and then you

have to try and make her laugh and you

have to impress her. I'm just so fed up

with that. Such— so much work.

I just want to meet a girl, see if she's

nice or not, take her back to the hotel,

have some fun. I don't want to waste all

that time in a restaurant faffing around.

Tell us who you had cereal with. I can't.

Maybe later. I'll save it for later.

Go to Thailand. Yeah, Thailand's looking

pretty tempting because you can get an

entire apartment A really nice place for

about 600 bucks a month.

You're currently too homophobic for gay

guys. I don't know if I'm homophobic.

What does homophobic mean? Does it mean I

hate them or I'm scared of them? I just

think it's a bit weird. I don't think it's

bad or wrong, or I don't hate them.

I just find it strange.

I would get so many girls if I focused on

friends. I was thinking about that

actually. I was thinking about when I go

back to England, how about I start

focusing on making a friend group? And

then I'll have— I'll have my main friend

And then I'll say, I don't know, maybe

he'll have to be like this alpha, chatty,

extroverted guy,

and then he'll help me get girlfriends.

Didn't you say you don't need friends?

Yeah, but I'm starting to realize that

having friends could be very helpful to

getting girlfriends because then you have

a social group And your friends could

introduce you to girls, and girls won't

think you're so weird if you have friends,

and you'll start doing things. When I

think about it, all the hobbies I had when

I was younger, I started because of my

friends. I got into Warhammer 40K because

my friends were into it. I got into— what

else did I get into? I got into

skateboarding because my friends were into

it. I got into biking because my friends

were into it. When you have friends, it's

a lot easier to start getting into

hobbies, and then you can do it with your

friends, and you kind of— it's more

interesting when your friends are into

something as well.

I don't think I ever would have been

interested in Warhammer 40K if I didn't

have friends who were into it as well.

So I need a friend who can take me to bars

and can— I don't know if I want to be

introduced into their social circle, or

maybe I want to make my own social circle

where I'm the leader and I have first

access to all the ladies, and then my

friends would be kind of like my

subordinates. Maybe they'll be more

pathetic than me so I can feel better

about myself. What do you think?

Or maybe I could get a guy who has a lot

of female friends to be my friend.

And then maybe he has a cool hobby, and

then I can take up the cool hobby, and

then we can do the cool hobby together,

and then girls will think I'm cool.

I'm gonna get into bed. It'll be more

comfortable. I hope that the

people in the next room can't hear me. Or

maybe, maybe they can, but maybe they

don't understand what I'm saying.

Okay, I'm in bed now.

I haven't changed my socks since I got

here and they're a bit stinky, but I don't

care because there's no girls here anyway.

I haven't changed my underwear since I got

here either. It just seems a waste.

What's the point of being all clean and

nice if I'm by myself anyway? No one's

going to even notice.

Who's going to notice?

They're pretty stinky. Oh, you know that

French person who said he was gonna buy my

socks? I completely forgot about that.

You can buy these ones if you want. I've

been walking around in them for about 3

days. Is it my 3rd day in Germany already?

Today's the 15th. I got here on the 13th.

Feels like I've been here forever. It's so

boring. I don't understand how German

people live. I go outside and they all

look so boring.

I don't even know what they're saying. I

feel like I'm in some kind of weird video

game. I feel like I'm inside of The Sims

and they're not real people, but they're

just robots who look like people, and

they're just going around these— they're

just going around kind of like they're

programmed. To walk up and down like in

GTA, you know, the pedestrians. They just

walk up and down, they look like they're

living their lives, but they're not really

because they don't have lives because it's

a video game and they're just programmed

to walk up and down the street. It looks

Oh, thank you, Andy. I like smelly guys.

I like smelly girls.

What makes it more fun?

I'm not being racist. Saying that people

are boring isn't racist.

Stupid. I need more water. Oh,

I'm out of water. Can you get me some?

Okay, what else did I do today? So I went

back to Edeka, bought a sandwich, 2 wraps,

and then I quickly came back to the hotel.

Weather was quite nice today, no wind,

quite sunny. Oh, this other thing

happened. This stupid German guy said

something to me in German, sounded pretty

rude. So, okay, so I didn't know

that the brown bricks on the pavement are

for the cyclists. I didn't know that. The

pavements on the inner side, inner half

of the pavement away from the road, is

grey, and then the part of the pavement

next to the road is brown, brown bricks,

and that's where all the bikes ride. And

then I was walking on the brown bit

because I didn't know, and I heard ringing

from behind me. And I wasn't sure what to

do. I thought he would just ride around

me, but then I

looked behind me and he was still coming

from behind me, so I quickly moved out of

the way. And as he rode past me, he said

something and it sounded like something

shiza, and he sounded angry.

Idiot. I didn't know that brown bricks are

cyclists. Lanes. How about you make

it more obvious? In Japan, the cyclist

lane is green and it has little bikes

painted in white on them.

What if I was deaf and I couldn't hear him

ringing? What if I'm a deaf foreigner?

I just heard the Scheiße something.

I know that's a swear word in German. He

probably said something like, move out the

way, for fuck's sake.

So rude.

Why didn't he just ride around me? There

was no one else. You don't have to stay on

the bike lane just because there's a bike

lane.

I wish I put my foot out and then he

crashed and died. No, that's going too

far. I don't want him to die. I don't

know, maybe he's a bad guy. Can't tell

really. Can't just assume people are good

guys. Oh, thank you,

Teapot. Go on the serial campsites.

Which ones?

Couldn't believe he muttered something at

me as he rode past. Didn't understand what

he said anyway. Stupid man.

Hope he crashed.

Hope he got a flat tire and then had to

So hopefully the next hotel will have a

coffee machine and there'll be shops

around it. It's so weird that there's

barely any shops around the train station.

Well, actually there's quite a lot of

shops, but there's no shops that sell good

food. There's a Pizza Hut, there's some

other food stores. But I don't know how to

order. And then there's some

kind of shop that sells things. I'm not

sure what to call those things. Random

things that you can't eat.

The food situation is really stressing me

out. What if there's no shops around the

new hotel? Then I have to walk even

further to the train station. To get those

rubbish sandwiches again. There's no shops

that just sell food,

and they don't sell microwave dinners.

I don't have a microwave, so it wouldn't

be much use, but it would be nice if they

had instant ready meals that just had

maybe mashed potato and a sausage.

Haven't seen any of that. What do they eat

here? I don't understand what German

people eat. Do they just eat at McDonald's

Why can't they just have a 7-Eleven?

There's no 7-Elevens here either.

I went into the supermarket, all they have

is raw food, frozen food, fruit and

vegetable. I just

want to find a place where they sell

sandwiches,

more variety of sandwiches. Um,

what else I want? I don't know.

It's just so much different to Japan.

When I was in the Japanese hotels running

away from my wife, it was never a problem

getting food. I'd just go into Family Mart

and I'd get some spaghetti, or I'd get

some Japanese bento, or I'd get a

microwave burger, or I'd get some fried

chicken. There was so much to eat in here.

I just feel like I'm a prisoner eating

sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, and

And then I went for a shit today and it

was so painful. Felt like I was shitting

out Tabasco sauce. Don't know where

that came from. Maybe it's from all the

Now my anus still burns even though

it's been hours since then. I need some

fruit, I think.

I want to go home, guys. I don't like it

here. I miss my oven.

I miss my bacon and eggs.

I miss pot noodle. I miss having a kettle.

I don't even know why I'm here. If it

wasn't for the Turkish girl, I would leave

tomorrow. She's my last hope.

Otherwise, this whole trip was just a big

waste of time. I don't want to travel

anymore. I hate traveling. And then people

keep saying, why don't you go to this

place? It's more interesting. Or,

you shouldn't have gone to Düsseldorf.

Nothing happened. There. What— number one,

what do you mean by interesting? And what

do you mean by nothing happens? What is

this? What is so interesting about other

places? At the end of the day, everywhere

is just buildings and roads and cars and

irritating people. The only thing I want

to happen is under these bedsheets.

Well, I found a nice park. I guess that

was nice. Oh, thank you, Madison.

Yeah, I found this park and walked around

there for a bit. Then I got bored.

My feet started to hurt.

What is so great about traveling? So if I

went to Berlin or somewhere. That's

apparently more interesting. What would be

so interesting about it? There'd be bigger

buildings, more people. Wow, so

interesting.

Am I really going to stay there for a week

until the Turkish girl? Well, yeah, what

other choice do I have? I'm not going to

go before she comes. That would be stupid.

I can't leave now.

It's a long time to wait though. Yeah, 7

days. Oh, what am I gonna do for 7 days?

Help me. This place is so

boring. Yeah, I can go outside, I can walk

around, I can walk to the river, I can

walk to the River Rhine, which is quite

pretty. But at the end of the day, it's

just a load of water, isn't it? I can

look in the toilet and there's water in

there.

I can walk up and down the River Rhine all

day long and nothing interesting will

happen. I could take a picture,

I guess. Put it on my Facebook.

What do you mean stop spreading hate

against Germans? What did I say that was

hateful about Germans? That some

cyclists muttered something to me and

that there's no convenience stores. It's

not really hate, is it? It's just

irritation.

Do some shopping. I'm too scared to.

They keep saying stuff, I don't know what

they're saying, and then I feel

Oh, Electric Six, thank you. Give me,

give me Discord. I'm getting fed up with

the Discord links because I keep putting a

link into the channel description and then

it keeps expiring even though I set it to

never expire. I don't get it.

And then I'm scared of talking because

every time I have to talk, I feel so

nervous. And when I feel nervous, my voice

goes all high-pitched and sounds cowardly

and pathetic. I sound like this.

Oh, okay. Hello.

Thank you. I sound like a wuss when

I'm talking and I'm nervous. And then I

get nervous about my voice sounding

cowardly or wussy,

which makes me not want to talk even more.

I wish I had a deep manly voice like

this. Oh, I have confidence. I'm a man.

But my voice sounds all weak sounding.

Hello. When I get nervous, my voice clams

up and it doesn't come out deep.

It sounds like I have no confidence, and

then that makes me not want to say

anything because I'm worried. It sounds

not very confident.

Oh, Madison, thank you. Check your Insta

DM, I sent you a massage.

What's your name on Instagram?

Yeah, maybe my voice sounds okay now

because I'm by myself and I'm not feeling

nervous. I don't feel nervous right now.

I feel, I feel comfortable because I'm by

myself. But if I'm in a shop and I'm

surrounded by rushing customers and

cashiers rushing me, I feel really

nervous.

I need to get a plastic bag as well

because the shops here don't give you a

plastic bag when you shop, so I have to

carry everything. I'm walking down the

road carrying a load of sandwiches and I

don't know where to get a plastic bag.

Why is life so hard in Germany? In Japan

they give you a plastic bag every time.

Why? Why don't they just have plastic bags

on the counter so I can take one?

Yeah, I saw bags next to the cashier

behind, but then I have to ask for one. I

don't know what— I don't know how to ask

for a plastic bag. What if she says

something like I have to pay for it, and

but she says in German and I don't know

what she's saying, and then I feel

And then I wanted to buy beer, but I was

scared they might ask me for ID and I

wouldn't understand what they're asking

me.

I'm worried that they might get irritated

because I didn't learn German and

I'm expecting them to speak English,

and then I'm worried that they might not

Everything's so hard here.

I feel so stressed out going outside.

Everyone looks scary, and they look—

everyone looks too overconfident and

too aggressive,

and people don't move out the way, and

people aren't courteous, and if you get in

people's way, they mutter stuff at you.

And all the men look scary, like they're

drunks or they're gonna beat you up.

They're all tall and they have beards.

They look like cavemen.

Don't know, they just look rough. They

don't look civilized. They look like they

work down at the coal mines.

I feel very insecure and out of place.

But I'm safe in here. If only I had food.

And there's no vending machines anywhere

either. If there were vending machines,

at least I could get a drink instead of

drinking the tap water. All I've been

drinking is the tap water from the

bathroom. Hopefully it's safe. It tastes

okay. Oh,

thank you, Unit 001.

Oh, I wish life was a dream. You should

see my dreams. I had this weird dream. I

snuck into someone's hotel room and the

door was unlocked and there was this woman

lying in the bed. And then I got into the

bed with her and I took my trousers down

and she was sleeping the whole time. She

didn't even notice. And I woke up and I

had a throbbing erection.

I keep having that dream though. It's

weird, that exact, exact same dream

but in a different location or a different

girl. It's like this weird fantasy I have

of sneaking into a hotel room,

into someone's hotel room, and there's a

woman inside and she's sleeping, and then

I get into the bed.

Hopefully I don't dox my next hotel.

It's just so hard not to dox it because

they have the hotel logo and name printed

everywhere.

Oh, what am I supposed to do? So my

current plan is wait for the Turkish girl,

see how that goes, and then go to Spain,

see the Spanish girl and see how that

goes, and then I'll probably just go back

to England and Maybe stay in London for

a few weeks,

see if there's anyone there up for

meeting. And if all that fails as well and

I have a terrible time, I guess I'll just

go back home.

It's just kind of depressing because,

I don't know, I have this fantasy of

traveling the world and meeting girls

and seeing the sights and going to fancy

restaurants and, you know, doing all the

touristy stuff. And then I get here and

it's just a big disappointment and I feel

so depressed. I don't even want to leave

the hotel room and everything feels

pointless and and everywhere looks boring,

and I don't want to get on the train to go

somewhere nice. What is nice?

And then none of the girls want to meet

me, and even if they do meet me, they

don't want to have sex.

And then I can't find any good food

because it's all weird.

But then, um,

I start missing home. But then if I think

that I'll be at home for the rest of my

life, that's even more depressing. So I

don't know what to do. I travel and I feel

depressed and I hate it here and I miss

home. I go home and then I feel depressed

rest of my life.

Either way, I'm going to be depressed and

disappointed.

What am I supposed to do? Everyone says

stuff like, oh, the world is your oyster,

you're single now. Go out and explore the

world, but the world is so boring and

ugly and dirty and

full of irritating people. I just want to

play Rainbow Six, watch Netflix, and then

have sex with someone who's special,

and then enjoy their company, and then

maybe travel with them, then be more fun

to travel if I was traveling with someone

I liked. Oh, who watched the new Game of

Thrones? I would say I won't

spoil it, but there isn't really anything

to spoil because absolutely nothing

happened. It was so boring. I know

it's the first episode of a new season,

but Jesus Christ, absolutely nothing

happened. A bunch of characters got

reunited. And then the fat guy tells

Jon that his real dad isn't Ned Stark,

which we all knew ages ago.

No, there's no spoilers because there's

nothing to spoil. Nothing's happened.

Okay, here's the thing that's irritating

me about Game of Thrones. Sansa is being

such a bitch to Jon because he left

to get help. I don't understand it. She

says, oh, Jon, you left the North, you

gave up being king, you left your people.

Um, yeah, he left so he could get help so

he could save you all, you dumb bitch.

How can she not get that? How is she so

stupid? Who cares if he left

for a little bit? He came back. He went to

get help. And then Daenerys is being

irritating as well. She says, Sansa

doesn't like me. I'm her queen now,

and if she doesn't respect me— oh, she's

so irritating. She keeps whinging about

people not respecting her because she's

the queen. She's got such an ego and she

thinks, well, just because she's the

queen, everyone has to respect her. Don't

they have more important things to worry

about? You know, there's a massive undead

army coming and they're worrying about

being respected and Jon leaving

to get help.

I just think they have their priorities

wrong. I'm not

spoiling anything. There's nothing to

spoil because nothing's happened.

Jesus, it's the first episode of the

season. What do you think's gonna happen?

Trust me, nothing happens in the first

episode apart from characters get

reunited. That's it.

I'm the one who's boring. I'm not boring.

And just because I'm boring doesn't mean I

can't say that other things are boring.

Me being boring is irrelevant.

The problem is everything else is boring.

The problem isn't me being boring.

I could go skydiving and I could go scuba

diving and I could go horse riding and I

could pretend to be the most interesting

person in the world, but it wouldn't stop

the world from feeling boring to me,

would it?

Yeah, I lost 7% of viewers because I was

talking about a new episode. Bunch of

idiots. I told them I'm not spoiling.

There's nothing to spoil. What part of

nothing happened don't they understand?

How can you spoil the first episode? As if

anything interesting is going to happen in

the first episode.

I'm not boring. Everyone else is boring.

I don't understand why people say that

though. When I say something is boring,

the first response is, no, that's not

boring, you are boring. Why does me being—

why does you thinking that I'm boring have

anything to do with it? I don't care if

you think I'm boring. I'm talking about

this thing that bores me. Whether I'm

interesting or boring to you interests me

in no way at all.

It's not my fault if I find things boring.

I don't decide whether I feel bored or

not. If I feel bored about something,

then there's not much I can do. I can't

force myself to not be bored, can I?

Think about something you're bored— that

you, you find boring. Do you think you can

force yourself to be interested in it?

You people who have no interest in Rainbow

Six. If I started talking about Rainbow

Six, you're gonna feel bored, aren't you?

If I just started talking about Rainbow

Six for half an hour, everyone would leave

because you'd think it's boring. Do you

think you can force yourself to pretend

that it's not boring? No, you couldn't,

because you're not interested in Rainbow

Six, because it's boring to you,

just like other things are boring to me.

See, I just destroyed you all with logic.

I don't care if you went into outer space,

or if you shook hands with Putin,

or if you did a trip around the world. I

would still find that boring.

If I met you and you said, hey Daniel, I

went into outer space last week, I'd say,

oh, that's nice.

I'd still find it boring though.

What isn't boring? That's a good question

actually. Let me think.

Um,

What's not boring?

Rainbow Six, that's not boring. I've

played 1,290 hours on it now.

And Game of Thrones isn't boring, apart

from the new episode. Which was pretty

boring. But in general, Game of Thrones is

very interesting. I've watched the whole

thing 3 times because I kept getting new

girlfriends. I had to watch it with them.

First I watched it all by myself— no,

first I watched half of it by myself and

then half of it with the Korean

girlfriend. Had to start at the beginning

again with her. And then I watched it with

the chlamydia girlfriend. And then I had

to watch it all again from the beginning

with my wife. And I was wondering, I

wonder if I'll be able to see the next

season with my wife. I guess the answer is

no.

It's a shame. I would have liked to have

seen the new Game of Thrones with someone.

It's always more fun to watch it with

someone else. Oh, and another thing that I

find weird about Game of Thrones is you

You know when they show scenes of the

armies marching? Why do the

armies march like penguins? It's such an

inefficient way of marching. The Lannister

army marched like little penguins with

their little footsteps, and the Unsullied

army marched in the same way. It's so

stupid. It's a terrible way of marching.

No army in real life would march like

that. Would they?

They do these little penguin steps. Why

don't they just do normal steps? People do

not march like that. I've seen lots of war

films. They do not march like that.

I just think that doing it on Game of

Thrones to make it look cool

or something when it's not really

realistic.

Oh, and the Unsullied do not wear heavy

armor. They They wear leather vests.

The Unsullied armor is so lame. It looks

like some kind of BDSM cosplay set.

And they have the stupidest weapons. They

all have pikes. Pikes are rubbish.

They're only good against cavalry.

Everyone knows that.

I didn't say anything hurtful about gay

guys. I just said it's a bit strange.

There's nothing wrong with saying

something's strange if I think it's

a bit strange. Didn't say it's wrong or

it's stupid. Have I

seen the North Koreans much? Yeah, that's

stupid as well.

They look like they're gonna kick each

other up the bottom.

Maybe no German girls want to sleep with

you because I whinge too much.

I barely spoke when the German girl was

with me. I did not say— Tell

us about the Turkish girl. Well, she's 23.

She teaches English. And she

has several tattoos,

and she seems to like me quite a lot.

And I saw half of her boobies.

Don't really know anything else.

Um, what else is there? She's allergic

to latex. So condoms aren't, aren't gonna

be an option. So I wasted my

money on that box of condoms, didn't even

use a single one. What a waste of money.

Wouldn't it be funny if I got a Turkish

girlfriend just after my sister dumped her

Turkish boyfriend?

That'd be so funny.

Though it would be, it would be even more

funny if my sister didn't dump her Turkish

boyfriend and then my sis had a Turkish

boyfriend and I had a Turkish girlfriend.

That would be so weird. It would be like

me and my sister have a Turkish fetish.

What do you mean it wouldn't be funny?

You guys have no sense of humor. I

wouldn't want to be your boyfriend.

I'm gonna miss the Turkish boyfriend. He

was nice. I can't believe she dumped him.

He was such a nice guy.

I thought she would marry him, actually.

Because they seemed to get on well and he

had a good job and he was responsible and

She just said that,

um, they were drifting apart and she

didn't feel the same way about him

They lived together and I

think they had a mortgage together. I

don't know.

You should ask the Turkish girl if she

knows you're gonna have cereal. Well, I

think she knows that I want to

have sex. We did talk about it.

Well, I didn't— okay, I didn't directly

tell her that I want to have sex with

That'd be weird. I'm just assuming that

it's implied if she's gonna stay in a

hotel with me for four nights, then isn't

it kind of implied that we're gonna have

sex? Why do I have to directly ask her

that? Oh, thank you, Vivian.

Yeah, yo. It's just

like when the German girl said that she's

planning on staying the first night with

me. I assumed that we were gonna have sex

100%. I thought it was in the bag.

I didn't expect that she would come back

to the hotel and then change her mind. I

had no idea that was gonna happen. Could

not imagine that happening.

Don't make the same mistake twice. See,

this is where Um, I think I'm on to

good— onto a good one because there's no

way the same thing will happen straight

after it happened the first time. The odds

of the same thing happening straight away

are just very unlikely. Don't sleep with

her the first night. Why?

The Turkish girl doesn't know how creepy I

am. Well, she watches my videos and she

knows everything that happened. She knows

everything about the German girl

situation.

I didn't do anything weird. People keep

saying I creeped out the German girl, but

I didn't do anything creepy. I'll tell you

exactly what happened. We met, we talked,

we went to a restaurant, we ate, we

talked, I paid for the bill, and then we

walked around, and then we talked. We

weren't non-stop talking. There were a lot

of silent moments when I was trying to

think of something to say. And then we

came back to the hotel and she sat down

I sat down,

but she was constantly messaging on her

phone, so I felt a bit awkward. I didn't

know what to do, couldn't make a move.

And then I asked her if she wanted to come

over to the bed, and then she said no.

And then I said okay,

and then she went back to texting, so I

just thought, oh, okay, I'll text on my

phone as well then. I didn't say anything

weird. I didn't even say

anything sexual. The closest thing to

something sexual I said was, you can come

over to the bed if you want. And then she

said, um, maybe later. And then I said,

okay. That was it. And then

after that, then all the ex-boyfriend

rubbish started happening.

If anyone did anything weird, it was her.

She asked me to take my sock off so she

could see my foot, and then she asked me

if I had a foot fetish. I said no. Oh,

thank you, Marissa. Show my peepee on

stream and then I'll get banned. No

I wasn't the one who asked to see her

foot. I wasn't the one who was texting my

ex-girlfriend. I wasn't the one phoning my

ex-girlfriend.

So who's more weird, me or her?

Oh, you're just gonna say me because you,

you're against me. You're biased. You're

not fair. You have to be fair.

Be objective. I didn't say anything weird.

I was just a bit quiet and shy because I'm

not a very confident person. There's

nothing wrong with that.

I don't understand how you could be

watching my channel for such a long time

and not know that I'm confident. I mean,

and not know that I'm shy and not very

confident. Hate all

those people in the comments saying that I

was weird and I have no game and I creeped

her out. I tried my best.

And then people saying there's no way a

high-value normal girl would be interested

in me. I can't believe they would even

call her a normal girl or a sane girl

after everything I told you about her.

How could you even say that she's normal?

She's mentally nuts. Dumps her

ex-boyfriend, carries on talking to him

every day, tells him that she's going to a

hotel with another guy,

sends her nudes to me and tells me I can

fuck her raw if I come to Germany, and

then I come to Germany and then she

ditches me. No, she's not— she's not

normal and she's not sane.

I don't hate countries, I just think

they're weird and their food sucks.

Oh, thank you, Anne Tracy.

I don't understand why I'm at fault

for expecting sex when she literally told

me that if I come to Germany, then I can

have her. That is word for word what she

told me, and she told me I can fuck her

raw as many times as I want.

Obviously I'm gonna expect that if

I come to Germany, then that's what's

gonna happen.

This is what is also very weird. Everyone

keeps saying English food sucks and all

these other countries have better food,

but in my personal experience, England has

hands down the best food. Oh, thank you,

Electric Six. She was leading you on.

Reason that no one has picked up on

that. Reason though

no one has picked up on that. No guy is

texting an ex for several months without

moving on unless she has control over him.

Oh, thanks for the £10. Yeah,