Unboxing my NEW $1600 Girlfriend

最後 の 思 い です ので、 思 い ですね。 名

刺 の 方 に サ イ ン お願いします。 まで

いただ き たい ですね。 ありがとうございます。 Holy

shit, how did he carry

it?

Hmm,

I probably can't show you what's inside.

Let me have a quick look.

Okay, I definitely cannot show you what's

inside, so I think I'm gonna have to

pixelate this bit out.

What is this?

Oh, that is so strange.

I can't even get it out the box. It's so

heavy. It's so heavy. I can't

Jesus Christ.

Oh my God, oh my God.

Well, that was quite a strange experience.

It was okay, I guess. Not bad.

And now I have a bit of a mess. There's

this massive coffin of a cardboard box

that I can actually get into, and they

gave me a blanket. There's lots of plastic

lying around I have to get rid of.

They also gave me a few things. A metal

ring.

Not sure what that's for.

A plastic pump thing.

Not sure what this is. A pink brush,

hairbrush. A metal hook.

Not sure what this is for either.

Pair of white gloves. A metal

screw. And the pink

I've got these planks of wood as well.

And polystyrene. How am I supposed to get

rid of this? Um, I'm not sure if this

was such a great idea. It was okay, it was

interesting, but I don't know if it was

worth all of that money. And now I'm kind

of stuck with it, and it's really, really

heavy. There's no way I can lift this.

Even if my wife said, okay, you can bring

it back to our place, I wouldn't be able

to carry it. I can barely drag it around.

How am I supposed to lift it up, take it

down the stairs, and then walk all the way

to the train station and then carry it up

the stairs? There's no way, and people

would think I'm some kind of weirdo

carrying this massive doll. There's no

carrying case. I could put it back into

the box and then sellotape it all back

together, but there's no way I could carry

this entire box with the doll. And the

other problem is, even though the Airbnb

is quite nearby, It, it still takes a bit

of time to get here. I have to have a

shower, get dressed, walk to the train

station, get on the train, wait for the

train, ride the train here, walk from the

train station to here. Altogether, it

takes about half an hour at least to get

here, and it just seems like a lot of

effort to come all this way just to,

you know what. Maybe it would be different

if I was actually living here with her.

But since I'm not living with her, I think

I'm missing out on a lot of the value or a

lot of the benefits. Well, it's still

early days, maybe it's too soon to make a

judgment, but at the moment I'm not sure

if this was such a great idea. If I keep

it, I have to pay for another month at

this Airbnb. Basically, if I want to keep

it, I have to keep paying for the Airbnb.

If I want to get rid of it, how do I even

get rid of it? Maybe I could drag it out

and then drag it down the stairs and then

just dump it by the garbage station. Or I

could just leave it here in the B&B, the

Airbnb, when I check out. I could hide it

somewhere. There's nowhere to hide it.

There's no closets. What if I just left it

here and then checked out? I think the

owner of the Airbnb would be pretty angry

if I just left it here. For them to

dispose of. I don't think I'd get into

trouble if I just left it here. What would

they do? They could report me to the

police, but I don't think it's illegal to

just leave things at an Airbnb.

Well, I still have a few weeks left until

I have to decide if I want to carry on

paying for this place and keep her,

or if I want to dump her and then just

vanish. I could Shove her under the bed

and then just disappear without saying

anything, and then block them on Gmail.

They might not even notice if I shove her

right to the back of the bed towards the

wall. They might not even notice that

she's there until weeks or months later.

Non chiudrai farfalon amoroso, notte

giorno di torno girando, delle belle

trovando al riposo.

Not she said swatuchi no tamor.

Niente bel, niente quanto è riposo.

Not she said swatuchi no tamor.

Non più fra i questi bei panacchini.

Quel cappello leggero galante.

Quella chioma, quell'aria brillante.

Quel vermiglio donesco color.

Quel del mio dolce color.

Non più frai coi penacchini,

quel cappello, quella chioma,

quell'aria brillante.

Non più drai porfalo di amoroso,

notte giorno di torno girato. Tende belle

il tuo canto a riposo, ci sento quanto un

cigno comodo. Tende belle il tuo canto a

riposo, ci sento quanto un cigno comodo.

She said, what does she know the more?

Ragberria ritmo perbacco,

rando in tacchi stretto stacco, schioppo

in spalla, sciabla a fianco,

collo dritto, lutto franco,

ultra impatto, ultra turbante,

moto norma, poco pensante, poco pensante,

poco pensante.

E che c'è?

Ma tanto una marcia per il

fango e montagni per valloni.

Con lodevi e salioni

al concerto ti proponi di contorte e di

canoni che le corde tutti i toni

all'orecchio fan fischiare. Non più frai

quel canna king, non più frai quel

cappello. Non più avrai

quella chioma, non più avrai quell'aria

brillante,

non più avrai farfalloni amoroso,

notte e giorno di torno trovo.