Kick Livestreams/the entire history of monotremes 2025-10-11 20_28 [b701ea21-the-entire-history-of-monotremes] 480p

Okay, right, so Says, uh, validated.

Now I don't know if they're going to review— I don't know if anyone reported that stream for review, but I have to just assume that every stream is being reported

and going to be reviewed.

Yeah, I know people have been reporting this stream since day one, but nothing's ever happened before.

If I get reported and they review the stream and they find that I've violated something, they don't give me my fucking money.

So I got the money for that 1-hour stream, but if they review it and think I violated something, they'll take the money away.

So imagine I did one long stream that's all one VOD, and then I don't know, I violate something in 5 minutes, I lose the entire stream. So I can't have one massive long stream anymore because if I accidentally violate something, I lose the entire money. So now I'm just gonna do like one at 10 one-hour streams.

Or maybe 5 2-hour streams to minimize risk.

Yeah, people just won't let me be and make my fucking money. Jealous, horrid people.

Everyone's trying to come for my paycheck.

So last time the review came in, uh, 30 minutes after I ended the stream last night.

I mean, it's an Australian company.

Australia is pretty anti-woke.

So I'm kind of disappointed, to be honest.

I don't know where the headquarters is based. I mean, I thought it's an Australian company.

The trolls don't want me making any money.

I might extend it to 2 hours per stream before ending,

right? So I got until—

I got until 2 PM and then I really gotta leave.

I'm gonna drive fucking 2 hours.

Now I've got to wait for the viewers to come back.

It's really fucking irritating.

Imagine this is also a violation. Oh, reading Wikipedia, not interacting with the community.

The traditional Theria hypothesis states that the divergence of the monotreme lineage from the Metatheria marsupial and the Eutheria placental

lineages happened prior to the divergence between marsupials and placentals, and this explains why monotremes retain a number of primitive traits presumed to have presented in the synapsid ancestors of later mammals, such as egg-laying. Most morphological evidence supports the theria hypothesis, but one possible exception is a similar pattern of tooth replacement seen in monotremes and marsupials, which originally

provided the basis for the competing marsupionta hypothesis, in which the divergence between monotremes and marsupials happened later than the divergence between these lineages and placentals.

He looks for ways to cheat because every single thing that is done in the world is done in a stupid fucking idiotic way

that makes no sense.

Like, why can't I bring my mum to deliver Amazon parcels? Who fucking cares? No one cares apart from stupid fucking Amazon. Customers don't care. I mean, do you care if you buy something on Amazon and then the van arrives and then an elderly woman comes out holding one of the bags? Now who fucking cares?

What stupid fucking rule is that? Oh, you're not allowed to have your mum help you carry a bag.

Account terminated. Fucking stupid.

Idiotic rules made by idiotic old men.

So the way the world works is so fucking stupid.

I didn't even get fired from Amazon for not delivering something or late delivering something or not doing something. I got fired because my mum came with me.

I got fired from Every because I got fired from Amazon. I didn't even do anything wrong. I mean, I did a lot of things wrong with Every, but I didn't get fired for the things I did wrong on Every. Like, I got a bad review and I didn't ring the doorbells, but that wasn't the reason they gave

me for firing me. They said because of videos related to parcel delivery.

Fucking videos. I didn't even do anything wrong on the job. Apart from all the things I did wrong on the job.

And then they fired me because of a video. It wasn't even related to the same job, it was for another company. It's just like dating apps, like you get banned on one dating app and the other dating apps ban you too, even though you didn't do anything wrong on that dating app. Stupid fucking world we live in.

We live in a stupid fucking world full of stupid fucking rules that don't make any fucking sense.

Monotremes are conveniently, I mean conventionally treated as comprising, as comprising a single order, Monotremata. The entire grouping is also traditionally placed into a subclass, Prototheria, which was extended to include several fossil orders, but these are no longer seen as constituting a group allied to monotreme ancestry. A controversial hypothesis now relates the monotremes to a different assemblage of

fossil mammals in a clade termed Australopitheciforida, the group of mammals from the Jurassic and Cretaceous of Madagascar that share tribosphenic molars. However, in a 2022 review of monotreme evolution, it was noted that Tanolophos, the oldest

And most primitive monotreme, 125 million years ago from the Barumburimian Age,

differed substantially from non-monotreme australosphenidans in having 5 molars as opposed to 3 present in non-monotreme australosphenidans.

Aiptian and cinemanean monotremes of the family Collicodontidae have foremolars that suggest that the monotremes are likely to be unrelated to the Australosphenidan tribosphenids. I don't know what the hell I'm saying. It's like you can learn to read Korean and just read out sentences and you don't know what the hell you're saying.

Like, I could read out Korean Wikipedia because I know how to read the alphabet, but I wouldn't know what I'm saying.

The time when the monotreme line diverged from other mammalian lines is uncertain, but one survey of genetic studies gives an estimate of about 220 million years ago, while others have posited younger estimates of 163 to 186 million years ago.

Though the already eutherian Juramaia is dated to 160 million years ago, Tanolophos, like modern monotremes, displays adaptations to the elongation and increased sensory perception in the jaws related to mechanoreception or electroreception. Molecular clock and fossil dating give a wide range of dates for the split between echidnas and

platypuses, with one survey putting the split at 19 to 48 million years ago, but another putting it at 17 to 89 million years ago, It has been suggested that both the short-beaked and long-beaked echidna species are derived from a platypus-like ancestor.

Oh, shut up, Star. Most of these words are not even English, it's Latin.

Why does it matter if you talk or not? Yeah, I don't know, it's fucking stupid. I don't talk for 10 minutes and they fucking take all my money away.

They review my stream like, oh, he's talking, very good job,

very good interacting. Hello, Star, how you finding the monotone lesson today? Hope it's up to your liking. Fucking moron.

Where's my deodorant? Now I've got to last minute pack everything before I leave.

I shouldn't really need that much.

Give me back my money from yesterday.

Then I'm heading off to the hotel.

The precise relationships among extinct groups of mammals and modern groups such as monotremes are uncertain, but the cladistic analysis usually put the last common ancestor of placentals and monotremes close to the LCA of placentals and multituberculates, whereas some suggest that the LCA of placentals and multituberculates was more recent than the LCA of placentals and monotremes.

Imagine I've got to do this for 10 hours a day.

Got a fucking nut in my pants.

I'm so mad.

The first Mesozoic monotreme to be discovered from the Cenomanian. Steropodon gaumani from Lightning Ridge, New South Wales. Biochemical and anatomical evidence suggests that the monotremes diverged from the mammalian lineage before the marsupials and placentals arose. The only Mesozoic monotremes are Tanolophos,

Sundrius, and Cryo, Cryocetes, and Daragara, Collicoton, Opalios, Parvopalos, Steropodon, and Stertodon.

Extinct genus of monotreme mammal from the Late Cretaceous,

indicating that monotremes were diversifying by the early Late Cretaceous. Monotremes have been found in the latest Cretaceous and Paleocene of southern South America, so one hypothesis is that monotremes arose in Australia in the late Jurassic or early Cretaceous, and that some migrated across the Arctic-Antarctic land bridge to South America, both of which were still united with

Australia at the time. South America was united with Australia. That's crazy.

This direction of migration is the opposite of that hypothesized for Australia's other dominant mammal group, the marsupials, which likely migrated across Antarctica to Australia from South, South America.

In 2024, a prominent assemblage of early monotremes was described from the Cenomanian deposits of the Grimmon Creek Formation. Formation in Lightning Ridge, New South Wales. One of these, the fossil jaw fragment of Darigara, is the oldest known platypus-like fossil. The Gyrophagus collicodon and the pseudotribosphenic Steropodon and Stertodon darigara opelios

and parvapulus occur in some Cenomanian deposits. Oligomyocene fossils of the toothed platypus Obduradon have also been recovered from Australia, and fossils of 63-million-year-old platypus relative occur in southern Argentina. See fossil monotremes below.

Wow, I finished it.

References. Okay, what should I read next?

What about platypus?

Oh God, I don't know how I'm gonna do this.

I

mean, what's harder, mindlessly reading articles or actually finding something to talk about?

The platypus, Ornithorhynchus anatinus, sometimes referred to as the duck-billed platypus, is a semiaquatic, egg-laying mammal endemic to eastern Australia, including Tasmania. The platypus is the sole living representative of its family, Ornithorhynchidae, and the genus Ornithorhynchus. Though a number of related species appear in the fossil

record. Together with the 4 species of echidna, it is one of the 5 extant species of monotremes. What does extant mean? Mammals that lay eggs instead of giving birth to live young. Like other monotremes, the platypus has a sense of electrolocation, which it uses to detect prey in water while its eyes, ears, and nostrils are closed. It

is one of the few species of venomous mammals, as the male platypus has a spur on each hind foot that delivers an extremely painful venom.

Wow, so platypus is like one of the only remaining monotremes of its family,

and they're not extinct.

I mean, we're the only type of homos, aren't we?

All the other homos died out. The only humans that exist are Homo sapiens, so we can't talk. We killed all the other ones out of existence. Fucked them out of existence, actually.

Wiped them out and fucked their women, and then they all died off as well.

Homo neanderthalensis, the Homo erectus,

fucked out of existence.

That's what you get.

So I got the verdict for the review last night at

11:07 o'clock, but that's America time. I think it was 12:03,

and I think I finished the stream at 11:40. So it took about 20 to half— uh, 20 minutes to 30 minutes for them to review it. So far it's been 23 minutes. I don't have an email,

so I guess All's good, they get to keep the money. Whoop-de-fucking-doo.

I can't believe they can just revert the money like that.

Okay,

what time is it? 12 o'clock. I've got 2 hours left.

The unusual appearance of this egg-laying, duck-billed, beaver-tailed mammal at first baffled European naturalists. In 1799, the first scientist to examine a preserved platypus body judged it a fake made of several animals sewn together. The unique features of the platypus make it important in the study of evolutionary biology, and a recognizable and iconic symbol of Australia. It is

culturally significant to several Aboriginal peoples. Who also used to hunt it for food and has appeared on stamps and currency. The platypus was hunted for its fur, but it has been legally been a protected species in all states where it occurs since 1912. Captive breeding programs have had slight success, and it is vulnerable to pollution, bycatching, and

climate change. It is classified as a near-threatened species by the IUCN. But a November 2020 report has recommended that it be upgraded to threatened species under the federal EPBC Act due to habitat— due to habitat destruction and declining numbers in all states.

Hello, IQ333, how's your day going? Hope you're enjoying the stream.

Where are you tuning in from today?

Australian Aboriginal people have referred to the platypus in various ways depending on Australian indigenous languages and dialects. Among the names found Bunda Bora, Malingong, Tabrit Wajarang, names in Yas, Marambiji, and Tumut, Tahonbak, Durarawa. I'm not reading out these stupid fucking names.

When the platypus was first encountered by Europeans in 1798, a pelt and sketch were sent back to Great Britain by Captain John Hunter.

His name is John Hunter and he hunts animals and sends them back to Britain. That's funny.

The 2nd governor of New South Wales. British scientists initially— initial hunch was the attributes were a hoax. George Shaw, who produced the first description of the animals in the Naturalist's Miscellany in 1799 stated it was impossible not to entertain doubts as to its genuine nature, and Robert Knox believed because it arrived in England via the Indian Ocean

that it might have been created by Chinese sailors. They thought it was like a Frankenstein of creatures stitched together. But people were so dumb back then.

It was thought somebody had sewn a duck's beak onto the body of a beaver. Shaw used a pair of scissors to check for stitches. The common name platypus means flat foot, deriving from the Greek word platypous, from platus, broad, wide, flat, and pous, foot. Shaw initially assigned the species the Linnaean name Platypus anatinus when he described it,

but the genus term was quickly discovered to be already in use as the name of the beetle genus platypus. It was independently described as Ornithorhynchus paradoxus by Johann Blumenbach in 1800 from a specimen given to him by Sir Joseph Banks, and following the rules of priority of nomenclature, nomenclature, it was later officially recognized as Ornithorhynchus

anatinus.

Shut up, Jessica. I am fucking reading the chat, bitch.

Various dictionaries list platypus or simply patypus as the plural. Alternatively, the term platypi is also used for the plural, although this is a form of pseudo-Latin. Going by the word's Greek roots, the plural would be platypudis.

Pata Pudi. I'm

gonna lose my fucking mind.

Early European settlers called it by many names such as water mole, duckbill, duck mole, and Occasionally it is specifically called the duck-billed platypus. There is no official term for platypus young, but the term platypup seems unofficial use, as does puggle. The scientific name of Ornithorhynchus anatinus literally means duck-like bird-snout, deriving its genus name from the Greek root

ornith-.

Meaning bird, and the word runcos, snout beak. Its species name is derived from Latin anatinus, duck-like, from anus duck. What?

From anus duck? The platypus is the sole living representative of monotypic taxon of its family.

Oh God, you get such a headache from talking nonstop.

Seems like the last stream was fine. I got the money, didn't get any warning. It's been 30 minutes. They seem to review it pretty quickly within 30 minutes.

All right, so if I leave at 2, I should get there at 4.

Imagine she knows why I'm late. She'd be like, why are you late? Um, I was reading out the entire Wikipedia of platypus.

So, I mean, the road should be pretty clear at this time of day.

I mean, I already hated streaming as it was. Now I hate even more.

Hello, Stoned Out Here.

How's your day going? I'm having a great day.

I love reading chat and talking to you guys. Love it so much.

Most of the platypus' small streamlined body is covered with short dense brown fur that traps a layer of insulating air to keep the animal warm both in and out of water. The fur coat is waterproof and consists of flattened guard hairs and curved underfur hairs. It is one of the most densely furred mammals behind otters. It is

also biofluorescent and glows cyan-green. When under ultraviolet light. This may serve to camouflage it in low lighting from UV-sensitive predators. The duck-like bill consists of a long snout and lower jaw which is covered in soft skin. The nostrils are located near the tip of the snout's dorsal surface, while the eyes and ears are just behind the snout

in a groove which closes underwater. It has cheek pouches for storing food, The platypus' wide flat tail is compared to a beaver's butt. It is furry rather than scaly. It stores fat reserves and can act as a rudder during swimming. The legs are short and have a sprawling stance. Webbing is more significant on the front feet. While

walking on land, the feet are folded in knuckle walking. To protect the wedding.

Oh,

I'm gonna lose my voice.

You can all thank Kick for this amazing content. They're like, oh, no talking, that's not good for the content.

Well, but this is.

Fucking stupid.

They're like, oh, oh, torturing yourself live on stream until the point that you fucking die, that's okay.

KCIP not revoked. Oh, doesn't talk for 10 minutes. KCIP revoked. The fuck? I might as well torch myself to fucking death.

I literally feel like I am. Or harassing people in the streets of the Philippines until you get fucking arrested, that's okay, but not talking for 5 minutes? No, no, stupid fucking hell.

The fuck is this website?

Fucking shit.

Fucking clowns like Johnny Somali and Vitaly harassing people in the street, and Kick's like, hey, content, guys. Give them all the money. Yeah, now they're in fucking jail.

Daniel doesn't talk for 10 minutes, take his fucking money away.

See how stupid it is?

Can't even take a 10-minute break, check my email.

Because I didn't talk. Talking enough now for you?

Done with this shit.

The platypus has an interclavicle in the shoulder girdle, a trait which they share in common with reptiles. As in many other aquatic and semi-aquatic vertebrates, the bones show osteosclerosis, increasing their density to reduce buoyancy. Adult platypus lack teeth and instead have heavily keratinized food-grinding pads. Young platypuses have 1 premolar tooth and 2

molars on each maxilla, and 3 molars on the dentaries. The first upper and third lower cheek have only 1 major cusp, while the rest have 2.

They lose their teeth around the time they leave their natal burrow.

Male platypuses have an average length of 50 cm and a weight of 1,700 g, while females are smaller with an average length of 43 cm and weight of 900 g. The species follows Bergmann's rule,

which, with individuals being larger the further south Individuals being larger the further south they are. Really? I didn't know that. Bergmann's rule is an eco-geographical rule that states that within a broadly disputed taxonomic clade, populations and species of larger size are found in colder environments, while populations and species of smaller sizes are found in warmer

regions.

Then how come Africans are bigger?

Africa's pretty hot. And how come Eskimos are so tiny?

And how come Asians are smaller? Uh, because it's a hot country, isn't it?

I call bullshit on Bergmann's rule.

Individuals being larger the further south they are due to colder climates. There are local variations, however. The platypus has an average body temperature of 32 degrees, typical of placental mammals. Research suggests that this has been a gradual adaptation to harsh environmental conditions among a few marginal surviving monotreme species. Rather than a general characteristic of parsimonious dreams. The

platypus has a single opening called a cloaca for both reproductive and waste systems, so they shit and piss out the same hole they come out of. That's disgusting. Like, imagine you shit and piss out of your dick. I mean, we piss and cum out of our dick, but we don't shit out of it. Imagine being a girl

and then a dick goes in you and there's like a pipe that shit comes out of.

The male platypus has penile spines, an asymmetrical gland penis that is larger on the left side. The female has 2 ovaries, with the right one being non-functional. Then why have 2? Teats are absent.

Monotremes are the only mammals apart from guanadolphin Well then, they're not the only mammals. They're one of 2 mammals known to have a sense of electroreception. The platypus relies on echolocation when feeding, as the eyes, ears, and nose are closed whilst underwater. Digging in the bottom of streams with its bills— bill, its electroreceptors detect tiny electric currents

generated by the muscular contractions of its prey. Experiments have shown the platypus will even react to artificial shrimp if a small electric current is passed through it.

It's funny that all these primitive animals have known how to manipulate electricity for millions of years, and then us humans are like, we're so smart, we discovered electricity. No, we fucking didn't. Animals have known how to manipulate electric currents for millions of years, hundreds of millions of years. Humans think they're so clever when animals are doing all

this shit for eons.

What the hell is ASMR? Yeah, but that's not talking, is it? I got my balls bollocked because I didn't talk for 5 minutes, so just Tapping the mic is not going to be talking, is it?

Apparently I gotta talk.

What, you think it's the category that got me in trouble because I put it just chatting and I wasn't chatting?

I don't know. I don't know if that makes a difference because, I mean, it'd be fucking stupid if it did make a difference.

Or they should make a category called not giving a fuck,

like not doing anything. I'm gonna make that fucking category.

ASMR. What other categories they got?

Driving was fine as it was IRL.

Should we, should we experiment?

Yeah, when I come back on Monday, we'll do some experiments. Number one, I want to try out gaming. Without talking for 20 minutes and do an hour stream and then see if that violates. And then we'll try IRL category and I'll try not talking for like 20 minutes.

I mean, and maybe— I mean, they did say,

yeah, but the amount of questions I have, I could write a whole Wikipedia article. They said don't hesitate to reach out if there's anything we can assist you with.

I don't know, like, all I want to do is like have occasional 5 or 10 minute periods where I don't talk because I'm having a rest. What's wrong with that? Oh, is that Mr. Meow Mouse talking about— he's all hunched over like a predator.

40,000 electroreceptors are arranged in rows in the skin of the bill from the front to the back. While mechanoreceptors for touch are uniformly distributed across the bill. The electrosensory area of the cerebral cortex is the tactile somatosensory area, and some cortical cells receive input from both electroreceptors and mechanoreceptors, suggesting the platypus feels electric fields as touches. These

receptors in the bill dominate the somatotopic map of the platypus. Brain in the same way human hands dominate the pen-filled ramunculus map.

The platypus can feel the direction of an electric source, perhaps by comparing differences in signal strength across the array of electroreceptors, enhanced by the characteristic, characteristic, characteristic side-to-side motion of the animal's head while hunting. It may also be able to determine the distance of moving prey via the timing difference between electrical and mechanical pressure sensations. Monotreme electrolocation

for hunting in murky waters may be tied to their tooth loss. The extinct Obdurodon was electroreceptive, but unlike the modern platypus, it foraged in open water.

Imagine going extinct. So everything your entire lineage has worked hard for ended with you.

What a waste of time.

The eyes of the platypus have basal traits also found in lungfish and amphibians, such as scleral cartilage. Double cones and droplets, the platypus eyes are small and shut underwater, though several features indicate its ancestors relied on vision. As with other aquatic animals, the eye has flattened cornea and surrounding lens. While the posterior surface of the lens is

sharply inclined, a temporal concentration of retinal ganglion cells cells, important for binocular vision, indicates the vestigial role in predation, although the actual vision acuity is insufficient for such activities. Limited acuity is matched by low cortical magnification, a small lateral geniculate

nucleus, a

large optic suggesting that the visual midbrain plays a more important role than the visual cortex, as in some rodents. These features suggest that the platypus has adapted to an aquatic and nocturnal lifestyle, developing its electrosensory system at the cost of its visual system. This contrasts with the small number of electroreceptors in the short-beaked echidna, which dwell in

the dry dry environments, while the long-beaked echidna, which lives in wetter habitats, is intermediate between the other 2 monotremes.

Uh,

if I keep swallowing my saliva, does it make me need to go to the toilet more?

Oh God,

I can't do this for 10 hours. I can't do it.

Okay, next plan.

Maybe I just game.

Maybe gaming will save me. I'd rather just game than read out stuff. Uh, reading is

Tiring.

Where's my— ah,

my shaver's upstairs. I need to charge my shaver.

I need

to pack.

1 hour

and a

half. Weekend ruined.

Now I gotta go meet my girlfriend and act like everything's okay when I'm really actually kind of pissed off.

Hopefully I'll feel better after the drive and listen to some music.

Stupid dumb rules. Fucking dumb rules.

I still haven't picked up my aloe vera plant. I'll do it when I come back. At

least

the sun's coming out.

God, I feel so frustrated recently, guys.

There's so much I want to talk about, but I can't.

This year has just been so shit. I think this year has probably been the shittest year of my whole life.

Well, I can't say what it's about. That's the thing.

No comment.

I'm like, no comment, and then Kick's like, oh, you're not allowed to say no comment.

Kick literally want you to go to jail just so they got fucking content.

Nice, I think it's just bad me then. I'm not going to fucking jail.

I mean, is it coincidence that so many, probably the most number of streamers end up in jail are Kick streamers? I wonder why.

Will there be a time you can talk about it? Yeah, when I'm 80 years old, probably.

When I'm about to die and I don't care about what's gonna happen anymore, so I've finished my life.

But right now I've still got so much to live for,

got so much at stake.

If I was gonna— if I knew I was gonna die in like a year and I'm on my deathbed, I'll just let it all out.

But I'm still young.

How much did I make from yesterday's stream? Well, I lost fucking half of it.

Lost— I lost 6 hours of streaming. They didn't pay me because I didn't talk for like 10 minutes.

Having my face on camera didn't make a difference.

Where's my toothbrush on the floor?

I think gaming could save me because it would give me endless things to do and I can just like randomly make stupid comments every 10 seconds or so.

I think the problem is not doing anything. Other than that, I just boot up Darkest Dungeon, which is trying to complete the whole game, which would be impossible because the game's really hard. I need a really basic game that takes no brain power, where there's stuff happening and it basically— the game never ends, and it's very easy

to run on my laptop. Darkest Dungeon fits the bill, I think, and doesn't require like precision skill. It's turn-based

and it's got like, uh, MMORPG elements, leveling up and grinding, so it could be addictive.

Basically just need something that keeps me occupied for tens of hours while it's giving me basic stuff to comment on. Because I can't, I can't just do nothing and say nothing.

Otherwise, they're not going to give me my money.

Maybe they're running out of money, so they're getting stricter.

You're giving fucking Asmongold half a million fucking dollars every month. What the fuck does Asmongold deserve half a fucking million dollars every month? Give us some of that money.

All right, so if I leave at 2, I get there at 4-ish.

Ah, maybe I should leave at 1, get there at 3.

I just want to make back what I lost yesterday. I don't have 6 hours.

I mean, I could tell her I'll be there like 10 o'clock at night, busy working.

How do I know they didn't pay me? Because they said, and I can see on my dashboard, that they didn't I mean, they paid me and then they took it back. Said reverted

because I left the stream unattended and didn't interact. I mean, I was there, I didn't leave it unattended, but it was a lack of interaction, i.e., not talking.

Seriously thinking.

I don't know, like, if I lose the kick,

I, I'm gonna have to tell my landlord I'm moving out, or I'm gonna have to start looking for a job.

Like, we're on this path. Depending when this path comes to an end, we got 2 paths to— that split into 2 paths. We got to choose one.

Either I just go get a job or go back to my mum's house.

Yeah, it seems like the last stream was fine. Didn't get any email

unless the reviewers are sleeping.

I mean, it depends how much I want to not get a job.

I don't really mind going back to my mum's house.

Getting the job depends how much I want to stay in this house. I don't really know or feel like I want to stay in this house that badly.

And then I need to like rethink my whole life. I'm gonna try and make YouTube videos again, or unknown what I'm gonna do.

Is having a house really worth the ball ache of getting a job?

God, I wish I had a girlfriend who just had her own place. I'd just move in with her now. All right, all these girls living with their parents. Every single girl that I met recently, all living with their parents.

Apart from one who lives in like a student dorm. A 34-year-old university student. The hell?

No one got their own place?

I mean, in Asia it was easy because everyone had their own place. Like, Chihiro had her own place, Chlamydia Girlfriend had her own place, Mizuki had her own place. Why does no one have their own fucking place in the UK? It's just— it's kind of a portrayal of how broke everyone is if they all got to live

with their fucking parents.

But grown-ass adult people in their 30s living with their parents— I've never had this problem in Japan. I never had a Japanese girlfriend where they lived with their parents.

Faster moved in with me and got me a cheap place to live.

This is— I'm kind of realizing this is a problem with dating in the UK, is that if you don't have your own place, she's probably not going to have her own place, and everyone's fucking broke.

Maybe I've got to leave the UK. I don't know. So I feel like dating is really— I mean, even back in 2022 when I dated some British girls, uh, one had their own place but she had some disability, and then the other one lived with her mum.

I never had this problem in Asia or Japan. Everyone had their own place. Maybe Japan just has better affordable housing. Like, if you got a job, you should be able to have your own place. But people are so broke and desperate to save money, they don't want to get their own place.

Something broken with this country.

People feel like they can't afford to get their own place.

It's ridiculous.

I was realizing how good it was when people like Chihiro had their own apartment. I just move in, didn't have to Like sign a contract or anything.

Like, if I lose Kick,

maybe the idea of going back to Asia might not seem that stupid after all.

Just, I don't want to have to do that though.

Because I'm gonna have to get a job or move back in with my mum.

And Chihiro's rent was like $300 a month,

but her house was like the size of this room, the whole thing. So the size of this room with a little kitchen on the side with a bathroom. I've got 2 bedrooms, conservatory, garden, driveway. And a car.

Even life in Thailand was so much easier. £200 a month, nice condo.

It's like I'm stuck in this triangle where each corner of the triangle is like job, mum's house, girlfriend, and then I'm in the middle trying to decide which one.

I don't want to get a fucking job.

I mean, I wouldn't mind getting a job, but they keep firing me. Stupid Every and stupid Amazon.

Why can't I just do a bad job and they don't fire me?

I could go back to my mum's house and just grind YouTube and make $1,000 a month and pay her the money and she'll be happy, but then I'll be broke and,

uh, say goodbye to any idea of having a live-in girlfriend.

It's funny how so many problems would be solved if I just got a job.

Yeah, it does remind me of that video I made about pros and cons of dating older women. My main point was that your older women usually have their own place sorted out,

but then you got to date like nearly 40-year-olds.

The problem with getting a job is I can only last so long before people start realizing that I'm a lazy sack of shit, and then they start hating me.

And I do the bare minimum effort. Like, I can fake it for like a month or two, and then I get bored. I'm like, I can't be fucking bothered anymore. Screw these people. And then there's always some serious stick-up-the-buttock kind of person, either the Paul guy or Gordon or, I don't know, some other guy,

who are very quick and, um, sharp-eyed to notice what kind of person I am, and it triggers the fuck out of them. They get pissed. And they're on my ass 24/7 until I quit because I can't stand them anymore.

You always got some stick-up-the-butt kind of person act like their shitty job is like working at NASA or something. Leave me the fuck alone. I'm just here to get my paycheck.

No, I can last maybe 2 or 3 months. As long as I lasted in a job was that petrol station job, 9 months.

I mean, I've got the dream job right now and I can't even do this properly.

All you gotta do is talk and I can't even do that.

How you lasted 9 months,

I don't even know.

Now anyone would think it's a dream job, like, oh, you don't have to go outside, you can just turn on stream and talk, because all you do is talk and you'd be fine.

Okay, talk about what the fuck am I supposed to talk about all the time?

What happened to weekend off? I'm, I'm still going. I'm gonna go in like an hour. It's just I'm mad because I lost half my money from yesterday,

and I'm trying to recoup some of back— trying to recoup back some of what I lost yesterday.

Not showing your channel in search results. And since when does anyone search my channel anyway?

Everyone's here because they know me from YouTube.

Yeah, it is a big deal because I got a lot of bills coming out this month. I got 2 hotels booked. I've got the fucking iPhone Air payments coming soon.

Oh, Amazon payments.

I'm quite financially pressed this month.

Not showing the email.

I'm trying, I'm trying to orchestrate a soft landing for the end of this year.

Um,

it's requiring every single ounce of my intelligence to like financially and emotionally and physically maneuver myself into a soft landing.

But all these little things keep popping up trying to fuck me over.

I have a dual mandate. Number one,

sustainable employment levels and

keep bringing the inflation rates down to 2%.

It will be short-lived.

I bet the new Fed chairman is going to be really boring compared to Jay Powell. Jay Powell's

Iconic.

I don't know what to do with my life.

There's too many moving pieces that all move independently that I have very little control over, where I'm basically just fingers crossing, hope it works out.

But I just, I feel like I've got hardly any control over anything,

and I have to pray to Jesus or something.

Now I've got to do a fucking 2-hour drive.

Why'd I have to get a girlfriend that lives so far away?

So, um, there's this thing, okay? I don't want to live together with her yet because I'm not in

a favorable position financially

to be able to be a reliable financial partner.

If that makes sense.

So I mean, I like— I would like to live with her at some point, like down the line, but right now it's not really something I want to do until mid-next year once I get my finances in order, because I don't want to be stressed out with money

Because like right now I can rage and get mad and stuff because I'm alone, it's fine, everything. But I don't want to be like that around someone,

so I'm not looking. Also, it's probably too soon anyway.

Yeah, I don't know if I'll have Kick next year, which is why I can't build a life based off on something that I don't even know if I'm going to have anymore in a week.

I would like a bit more certainty and stability before

making that kind of life decision,

which means I might end up having to get a job anyway if I want to go down that line,

because even if I was going to do YouTube, it's not enough money.

And also, it's unfair

for me to expect her to go out and work whilst I just sit at home making $1 an hour. They're gonna build resentment.

I mean, if I was making good money, they'll be like, oh great, go ahead. But I'm not even making good money,

and it's like being lazy whilst they're putting the work in.

And who the fuck wants to date a guy who's like trying to be a YouTuber making $5 a video and he even hates doing it?

Kick won't penalize you for driving. Well then why do they penalize me for not talking for 10 minutes when I pluck my chin hair?

How come I'm allowed to— well, okay, I'll just drive endlessly.

This doesn't make any sense. Why am I allowed to drive without talking but I'm not allowed to sit in my chair without talking?

How come, how come, how come I'm allowed to walk around in Tesco for an hour not talking, doing my shopping, but I'm not allowed to sit in my chair for 10 minutes plucking my chin hair?

Why does that make no sense?

Idiotic.

Because you're doing something. I was doing something then. I was plucking my chin hair. And then I was looking on my phone. That's doing something. I wasn't just staring at nothing, blanked out like a zombie. I was doing something. Well, how is it any different buying my shopping in Tesco compared to scrolling on my phone?

Both same levels of mundanity.

Mundanity.

Move to a smaller place? How much smaller do you want? I mean, this place is already small. Look at the size. This is the main room.

Well, it's not like I live in a palace. I've got a tiny little kitchen,

I've got a tiny little living room, and then I've got a bedroom. How much smaller can you get? Okay, I've got the conservatory.

It's a big house for a single person.

I mean, I guess— I mean, no one here lives alone. Everyone here has at least a wife or husband.

I think I'm the only one here who lives alone, which the crazy thing is the contract says I'm only allowed to live alone. So I mean, even if I was gonna move in with my girlfriend, she can't move in here because then you have to like, oh, contact the landlord and draw up a new contract.

Pain in the backside.

The contract says single occupancy.

I mean, the contract also said no pets, but he said I can get a cat. Can I move and I have a girlfriend, pretty please? I'll tidy up after her and she won't poo on the wall.

Extra £200. Price of having a girlfriend, extra £200 a month on the rent.

The offense kick said you did— said not interacting and, uh, said leave stream unattended and not interacting, which I guess is 2 things in one because I was there. I didn't leave it unattended.

I guess the definition of not interacting just means not talking.

But I was doing the Rubik's Cube, I wasn't talking, was I? So that's okay.

Fucking fingernails getting long.

Spitting the fingernails out. What, you think I'm going to eat my fingernails?

That's disgusting.

Why am I complaining? Um, because I thought I had a strategy that would keep me out of trouble, but it didn't work.

And I streamed for 6 hours and made zero.

And I'm scared it's going to happen again, which is why I'm keeping the streams to within 2 hours, and then I'm going to end the stream, and then I'm going to start a new stream. Because if you make one violation within one stream you lose the entire stream. So if I did a 10-hour stream where I had

amazing content for 9 hours and 59 minutes, and in the last 10 minutes I didn't say anything, I lose the entire stream.

They review it on a VOD-by-VOD basis.

So if I just cut it into 5 VODs, at least I protect myself. Like, if I lose one VOD, it's only 2 hours worth instead of the entire day. Which is insane that you lose the entire day of work because you made one slip-up.

Like, they could just dock the one hour.

I don't know what they expect me to do.

Really unfair.

So I mean, yesterday my backside was really saved because luckily the stream ended when I updated my graphics driver. Thank fucking God, otherwise I would have lost all of yesterday if it was all saved under one VOD.

They penalized the entire VOD.

Thank God.

It was split into 2 yesterday.

Well, I mean, imagine— I don't know, but they'd probably give you leeway if it wasn't your fault. Like, you had a power cut and it was on a disconnected screen for an hour.

Uh, I don't see why splitting the VODs wouldn't work because the violation would have to happen in the VOD

for the VOD to not get paid out. But if there were no violations— I mean, I'm not violating it every hour, am I? It's just like towards the end of the day when I'm kind of tired.

No, they pay VOD by VOD. Not day by day.

Oh God, life's stressful, isn't it? Everyone's out to fucking get you.

Taxman, the platform,

everyone's out for your blood. Yeah, maybe

that's why suspenders. Splits up his vods. He does like the pre-show and then the cooking show and then the post-show.

I've got to do that too. I mean, I was doing it at my mom's house. I had the breakfast show and then I went for lunch and I came back for the afternoon show and I went for dinner and I came for the post-dinner show.

I might start doing that again. I might be like, okay, going for dinner, guys, be back in an hour,

reset mentally,

and then I lose a whole hour.

Oh no, I'm not saying anything. Oh no. Hey guys, what's up guys? Hello. Hey.

Hey guys, what's up guys? How are you?

Okay, I might call it a day in about half an hour and then I got to head out.

Where everyone tuning in from today, guys?

Where everyone tuning in from today, guys? Where everyone tuning in from today, guys? I

can't believe I got fucked again.

Yeah, it literally feels like being held at gunpoint and they're like, stream now!

Welcome to my stream. I hope everyone have a good time.

How's your day going?

Okay, so here's the battle plan.

Here's the battle plan.

I will start the stream in the morning. We will do 2 to 3 hours of talking, and then I will break for lunch. And then I'll come back, and then we shall do 7 hours of gaming, and then I will break for dinner, and then I'll come back. But I'm going to split the gaming into 3 segments

of 2 hours— 2, 4, 6 hours— and then I'll break for dinner, and then I'll come back for 2 or 3 hours of talking before bedtime. That way I'll get 6 Plus 3 plus 3 is 12 hours with some breaks

while splitting, keeping the maximum length of each VOD 2 hours

to like try and lock in the money without getting the whole VOD wiped because of one 10-minute mistake.

So that's the battle plan for Monday.

What kind of talking? I don't know, just rambling and ranting, I guess. I'm not going to do that Wikipedia thing. I want to do— I want to— so the main issue is lunch to dinner segment is pretty long, so 6-7 hours. So I'm going to fill that longer segment with boring gaming where I mutter things like, oh

no, insane damage. That should speed up the 6 or 7 hours. I mean, the Rubik's Cube did actually speed up the time a lot. And I didn't get in trouble for the Rubik's Cube even though I wasn't talking.

7 hours Rubik's Cube. Maybe I'll do some Rubik's Cube.

I've got to structure, structure my streams and then maybe it will help things go faster and protect myself. And I'll break for lunch and dinner, I think, probably.

Half an hour break makes me lose an hour, but I mean, it's not really worth just streaming half an hour to have lunch on stream.

How many times can I solve the Rubik's Cube in 7 hours challenge.

7 hours gaming. I don't know, it might go quite fast if I'm locked in. I have a goal, like I want to beat this boss.

Darkest Dungeon is quite challenging and it's got quite a lot of different ways to play it.

Uh, what else?

Hmm,

need some game suggestions.

Maybe Hearthstone. No, Hearthstone gets boring after like an hour, and then I've got to download the stupid Blizzard thing again.

I wish they just put it on Steam. Or I don't know, maybe Sea of Thieves.

I don't know about strategy games.

Um, get back into World of Warcraft.

Try and get this vlog up to 2 hours. Got 22 minutes left and then I'm leaving. See you on Monday.

Games you can play and still talk. Yeah, so that's why I think Darkest Dungeon's good. Because it's got a lot of downtime and it's turn-based. If it's like you've got focus and it's skill-based, it's hard to talk.

If it's like tactics and strategy, we can like strategize and talk. If it's just cards, you know, it's just aiming,

it's not really much to say, is there? So I'm saying no to shooters.

No to shooter. I'm thinking turn-based could be quite good, like tactics strategy,

but not too boring, like not too much text-based stuff. Like, uh, I mean, Civ 6 games, bit too much text. I don't know, Darkest Dungeon's got a lot of text, but it's not as demanding.

That Tekken just pisses me off.

I want a game where the more hours you put into it, the more powerful you become, so you feel like you're making progress.

That's why World of Warcraft was so good, because you felt like the more time you put into it, the stronger you become. I want a game like that.

I think Darkest Dungeon is pretty good for that.

Weather's looking nice.

Should be a nice drive.

Start packing stuff. Got my deodorant.

I might bring my shampoo.

What a stressful day.

I was up until 2 AM last night worrying. Couldn't sleep.

I might bring my bait.

Maybe I'll bring my Rubik's Cube and show her my skill.

Hmm. I don't like Sea of Thieves because you don't really feel like you you get stronger or anything. I mean, you go looting and you you get treasure and then you sell it for money, but you can't do anything with the money apart from buy outfits and decorate your ship. I don't know if they've changed it since

2022. Me and Peter used to play it quite a lot, and the only thing you could buy were like cosmetic stuff. You couldn't upgrade your cannons, you can't get more powerful ship, can't buy nicer weapons. What's the point then? You can't build a house. I don't know if they changed it,

but there's like no incentive. I mean, I don't really care that much about cosmetics. I want freaking massive cannonball. Sets people on fire.

17 minutes, then I'm out.

It's been a week since I've been out.

Um, I need

to pee in my pants.

I need to pay

everywhere.

I'm not showing you anything. Stop demanding stuff.

None of your business. Show me your bank account then.

I told everyone, do not buy me bots.

It is against the rules.

All right, if I leave now, I'll get there at 1, 2, 3. Should get there at 3.

Sorry, you're kind of late. I'm going in 14 minutes. Just want to get this up to a nice even 2 hours.

Well, I have to split the streams up, don't I? Because the longer I stream, the longer each VOD is, the more I risk losing if I violated something.

Traffic gonna be a bitch. Really? But I don't know, people aren't working, so I thought it'd be less traffic.

I looked on Google Maps. Doesn't say there's traffic.

Blue line all the way.

Blue line.

Yeah, Kick's been reviewing my streams recently. I got a warning and then I got another violation. They didn't pay me for half the day.

So now I'm like very rattled that they can do that just because I wasn't talking for like 10 minutes.

Yeah, they can review multiple VODs, but it's unlikely I've committed a violation in every single VOD. It's likely that everything's fine, but I violate, um, I don't know, like 20 minutes during part of the 12 hours, which then invalidates the entire 12 hours.

So if I end the streams every 2 hours, lock in the money, like, I'm pretty sure I haven't violated any, uh, thing, anything for today's stream.

No, I think I'm pretty sure I know what violation is, like when I don't talk, is it? When I just sit there not talking.

But I think not talking plus doing something is fine, and also not doing anything but talking is fine, but not doing anything and not talking is not fine.

So I'm guessing driving is fine because I'm driving but not talking.

Just really stressed out. I mean, I do not need financial losses and financial stress on top of everything else.

What are you guys doing?

Hello guys, where are you tuning in from?

Imagine, just imagine the viewers sitting there with a TV with a knob on it trying to tune in to the station like it's 1989 with the static going. Currently tuning into the streams.

Yeah, well, what can I do about the bots? Not me.

Maybe they're real viewers, who knows.

I don't really know if I'm more into the idea of keeping the deadmau5s.

I mean, if I had a stable, reliable source of income where I'm not scared of getting banned every night, then yeah, I would be more into it. But I'm like thinking worst-case scenario, I've basically lost the YouTube. I don't know how to get it back on track.

I don't want to make videos anymore. I mean, even if I force myself to make a video, it doesn't get any views.

I could force myself to make videos about topics I don't care about and make $10.

I'm thinking gaming streams might help me.

Because my expenses are insane. I'm spending like $2,000 a month.

I don't know how I can make $2,000 a month with a normal job. Even a full-time job at minimum wage pays about $1,900 a month.

I have to do a full-time job plus a part-time job or just stop spending. Spend less.

I don't know what I've spent. I mean, I've been booking these hotels, which probably doesn't help.

I don't know how to get my spending down.

Stressful times.

Got 7 minutes and then I'm gonna leave.

Leaving Devon forever.

Yeah, the hotels I'm booking are a bit expensive because I don't want to book some shitty business hotel and then we go there and we're just sitting in a room with a bed. I want like a nice cozy house experience, so I've been booking lodges and cottages and she's offered to pay half, but I've been saying, oh,

it's okay, because I don't know how she's going to pay me the money.

I mean, if she paid in cash, be fine, I guess. So I've been saying, oh, just pay for the food. But obviously the food is way cheaper than the lodging.

I don't know, I mean, so food is like £30-40 for 2 people.

Hotel is like £100-120 a day.

Um, so I mean, she's paying the food. It does make up a third of the costs.

So I mean, if we go out somewhere and there's tickets, she pays for that too. So I guess she is paying half.

I've already spent, uh, £500 on hotels this month.

Like the other hotels because she wants to go to this thing. So I booked a hotel nearby the thing.

So I don't think I'll be booking any more hotels for the rest of the month, hopefully.

Oh gosh,

got 5 minutes left.

Hello? Not talking.

Yeah, I'm busy sending a fucking text. Jesus Christ, I can't even do one thing, can I? We'll lose a whole 2 hours streaming because I didn't say anything for 2 seconds because I'm busy texting.

I'm so on edge about everything now. Now I gotta worry about this as well.

Okay, well, I'm gonna head out now. It's been 2 hours. I should get the money.

Didn't violate anything.

Well, see you on Monday. Wish me luck. Bye-bye.