hey guys what's up -)

Hey guys, what's up?

I'm back,

I'm back on Twitch.

Oh wow, it's been

ages since I did a Twitch stream. I feel

like a lot of things have changed

recently. Well, technically nothing has

changed at all, but mentally things—

I feel like a lot of things have changed

in my head.

Oh my God, Bitcoin and crypto.

Jesus, do not look at it. If you don't

want to cry.

Last week was not a good time to buy

crypto. I'm down

about $500 now buying crypto last

week. I thought last week was the bottom.

Now it's even more bottom than last

week.

Why does everything crash after I buy it?

Look at Ethereum. Ethereum is just

downwards and there's no end,

no end in sight.

Buy the dip. I already bought the dip.

Yes, last week and a few days ago. I don't

have any more. I don't have any more money

to buy the dips.

The problem is you keep buying the dip

until you run out of money and it keeps on

dipping, and then you're screwed.

I gotta wait until my YouTube money comes

in. Should be in a few days. Should get my

YouTube money. Should be about $1,400.

Not bad considering I made like one video.

I only made like one video this month.

Geez, I gotta start making videos again.

I haven't made a video in— geez,

2 weeks. I haven't made any videos in

nearly 2 weeks. Did one livestream.

Yeah, YouTube pays monthly. They usually

pay around the 22nd or the 23rd.

Give me my money, stupid YouTube.

Is Bitcoin going to drop below $30K?

Jesus, look at that. That's not

Your YouTube channel is probably dead. I

don't think so. Uh, look at my

Simon and Martina video is blowing up.

Look, it got 35K views now. Simon Martina.

35K views! And people saying my channel's

dead. I can still pull 30K views

if I really try to. Look at

that. Getting a second— a third spike,

my Simon Martina video.

Also, my Chris Broad video is for some

reason getting views again. Jeez,

I'm making so much money off Chris Broad.

Thanks to the Chris Broad video and the

Simon Martina video, I haven't had to make

a new video in 2 weeks, but I made $30

off the Chris Broad video this month.

Look, look at the Chris Broad video. I

don't know why, but it's blowing up again.

I've got 22k views on the Chris Broad

video this month, and it's like a

2-year-old video.

But on the 1-year chart, that's when I

made it, August 2019, and then it started

gaining more views, and I'm getting like

another little spike up here.

Pretty cool. You see, that's why you want

to make videos about actually famous

people, because Chris Broad, he's got like

millions of fans who are constantly— he's

got like millions of fans every day typing

Chris Broad into YouTube, and then they

find my video. Who the hell is this Daniel

guy? I make videos about

my boring life, and then they just

flatline after the first few days. They

never ever get more views later. You make

videos about actual trending things and

popular things, um, they'll continually

get views after years as long as they're

relevant. So if Chris suddenly just

became irrelevant and his channel

completely died, then the video wouldn't

get any more views. But Chris's channel is

booming.

This is reminding me of something.

The Resident Evil video? I haven't checked

it in ages.

Well, I haven't made a video on my Chef

Daniel channel in 3 weeks. The Biomutant

video failed. Uh, yeah, Resident Evil

video kind of peaked at 27K views.

Oh my God, why am I seeing— I'm— I swear

I'm seeing 111 everywhere.

I don't know, it's because my mind is

looking for 111, but I swear I'm seeing

every single day everywhere I go. I go

onto my YouTube analytics, I'm seeing it

all over the place. I go into stocks, I

see 11.11 or 111.1.

It's freaking me out. I feel

like something's gonna happen.

111 is like the spirituality sign about—

I don't know what, I can't remember

exactly what it meant.

It says that angel number 111 signifies

manifestation and prosperity.

So if you've been practicing

manifestation, means you're on the right

track spiritually. I have been looking

into manifestating things by writing a

list. So I got a new notepad,

I wrote a list of things I want to

manifest, and I've been writing it down

every few days. I don't know if you're

supposed to write it down Every day, or

just write it down a few days, and then

you're supposed to forget about it, and

then you're supposed to detach yourself

from it so you're not desperately wishing

for it to come true or you're going to be

depressed. You have to think, yeah, it'll

be nice if I get these things, but it's

not the end of the world if I don't. And

then you just announce to the universe

that this is what you want, you write it

down, and then you detach from

it. I thought it'd be fun, you know, why

not? What's the harm? Might as well give

Crypto's crashing again. Yeah, I know.

Look, it's a head and shoulder pattern,

which is a bearish sign. People say if it

drops, if it can't hold $30K, next

resistance is all the way down to $23K,

$22K. So if it doesn't hold

$30K, it's gonna free fall back

down to $20K. And there's all these

different things coming out. China's

banning mining, Elon Musk is bashing

it, and then he kind of un-bashed it. He

said if Bitcoin can show it uses renewable

energy, then maybe we'll consider

Accepting it again. Everything is just

like against Bitcoin right now and crypto.

It's like they're all colluding together

to try and bring the price down so they

can— all the fat whales can jump back in

with the fat whale money and then pump it

back up. I reckon it probably

will drop down to $20K and then pump

again. Oh, I'm so dumb because I bought

loads. Of Ethereum when Bitcoin was

around $35K. So Ethereum's gonna

drop with it,

but it's okay. I've kind of allocated

crypto to my long-term strategy because I

kind of suck at swing trading it. I suck

so bad at swing trading crypto. I can buy

a low point and and then watch it go up

and do a little rally and then get all

excited because I just made $50 and then I

never sell and then I just end up watching

it go back down again and then I'm minus

I'm so bad at swing trading crypto, but I

am pretty good at swing trading other

stuff. I made $1,200 this month from

swing trading a bunch of different stocks.

Look, I got this portfolio from $6K up to

$6,820, which is like $1,000.

And my plan is end of June I'm gonna

withdraw the profits and then

put that into more crypto, which is gonna

be like my long-term thing. So I did

some pretty good trades swing trading this

last few weeks. So I bought that massive

dip on DraftKings, put $2K on that. Uh,

I, I made a couple hundred dollars from

Etsy just from like swing trading it from

$160 back up to $170. And then I bought

recently, I've bought Netflix and Okta.

Now look at Netflix, you see that bouncing

up and down like this? It's in this

corridor So I'm buying right at the bottom

of the corridor, and then we anticipate it

to bounce back up, back up to like $550,

which is where I'll sell. Will be a fat

10% gain. So I want to

put more into Netflix.

I also got Walgreens Boots, more of that,

because look at Walgreens Boots doing the

same thing, bouncing up and down in this

range. I bought more at the bottom,

so it should easily get back up to $55.

Fat 10% gain. So this is my new

trading strategy. We buy low and we sell

high. We do not buy when things are going

to the moon, and it's actually working

pretty well.

I got some good trades on Corsair Gaming.

I made like $400 on Corsair.

Tell me you took your money out of crypto.

No, I actually put another $1,000 into

crypto yesterday and now it's crashing

today. I have the

worst luck sometimes.

Look at my Ethereum holdings, it's all

red. Minus, minus, minus.

It'll be

Yeah, my new strategy this month has been

working out pretty well. Basically, you

have to be disciplined and not buy.

Because you know why I lost so much money?

It's because, um, I started investing in

the bull market and everything was going

up all the time. So my mentality was I

need to have all my money in stocks all

the time or else I'm missing out. That's

just a really dumb way of thinking. Now my

new way of thinking is I'm only gonna buy

when there's a really good opportunity to

buy. Like some kind of stupid news comes

out and tanks the stock. Like Peloton news

came out, the treadmill— some kid died

from a treadmill, tanked the stock like

20%, but then it shot straight back up.

Oh, Seisha gifted 5 subs. Sorry, I wasn't

looking. Thank you very much.

Wait, I need to— I haven't streamed in

ages, I forgot how to fix it. I need to

reset, reload widgets,

and then Why

is it not doing it?

Wait, I just got rid of all the widgets.

Oh, they're back, they're back.

So like momentum trading? Yeah, I guess

so. Or opportunistic trading.

So I'm only gonna buy stuff when they're

way below what they usually trade at. So

I'm not just going to jump on the FOMO

wagon, which is what I was doing before.

I saw stocks shooting up and I was like,

oh my God, I need that stock because it's

a good stock. I had

such a bad way of trading.

The chat widget's missing. I think

it's back now.

I can't get it to play.

Maybe give it a couple seconds. I might

have a beer. I don't know.

Jesus, I feel like so much has changed in

the last few months.

It's so weird. You can, you can visibly

see my mood if you just go back to

like a few streams ago. I don't know

if it's because I had a break from

streaming and YouTube. It just kind of

mellowed me out. Whenever I start

streaming and start making videos, it— I

don't know, I get really irritable and

triggered and I start ranting.

Maybe streaming and YouTube life really

has a bad effect on my mind.

What changed? I don't know. I just— I feel

really different,

mentally speaking. Fundamentally speaking,

nothing really has changed. You know, I'm

still just at home. I've got some plans.

I want to go to Manchester to

meet this girl. That might be fun.

I don't know, every day is a bit

different. Some days I just feel really

depressed, and then other days I feel way

I'm gonna do it on this phone.

The number 1111 resonates with new

beginnings, motivation to move forward,

taking inspired action, achieving success,

independence, and leadership.

Wow, spirit guides are attempting to

contact me.

Who's the Manchester girl? She's a girl in

Manchester. What else can I say?

I really can't say anything because it

will put her at risk of being found out.

Even if I said something like, oh, she has

blue hair, and if she's got an Instagram

with blue hair, then it's a risk.

So yeah, I guess I have to learn to keep

my mouth shut, which has always been a bit

tricky for me.

It's just so weird because the last few

years I've just been spilling my heart out

to YouTube and my audience about every

single thing. And I just— I realized it

was just blowing back in my face a

lot of the time.

Yeah, maybe this is why most people don't

have like an open diary on YouTube.

Maybe that's why people keep their private

life private. Ah, it's working.

Thank you, Seisha. Very kind.

The most interesting part of your channel

is speaking whatever you want. Yeah, I

guess so, but there's,

there's too many downsides to

make it worth doing anymore.

It's just, it kept screwing me over,

screwing me up.

I would talk about something personal and

it would end up ruining something else.

Like, I'd talk about one girl and then

another girl sees it and then she

doesn't want to meet anymore because I

talked about a different girl. Or I

talked about how I didn't like one girl

and then all of a sudden all the other

girls get scared. They're gonna think, oh

no, Daniel's gonna say the same about me.

So now I realize I

gotta keep a lot— I've got to keep some

things just secret.

It's kind of difficult, so I've got to

rewire my brain.

So I was so used to just making videos,

hey guys, I met this girl, she's ugly but

her bum smells good. I was so used to just

doing that for years, it was really hard

to stop doing it. I think— I

think I can stop doing it.

I don't think it's necessary.

It's just a bit sad because I don't really

have anyone to talk to. It's really

difficult finding good people to talk to

who are not judgmental and don't start

attacking you. But then I

don't want to annoy them by just going on

and on about the same thing all the time,

so I don't really feel comfortable talking

to someone one-on-one because I'd probably

end up annoying them or boring them

because I keep going on and on.

And I'm not really asking for advice, I'm

just— I just want to talk, you know.

I can't talk about it on stream.

I can't talk about everything on stream.

No one really messages me anymore. I can

go days without anyone messaging me.

It's just crazy. Without drama in my life,

it's like no one cares anymore. Back in

2018, 2019, when I had all this drama,

people were nonstop messaging me like,

hey Daniel, where are you now? What's

going on now? Like they wanted the inside

scoop on what's happening.

Or they thought I was like this weird

person and they were interested and they

want to figure it— figure me out. These

days no one messages me.

It's crazy how quiet everything is.

I had to block, block some people because

they were just either annoying Made me

feel bad, kept spamming me,

or they just weren't nice to talk to.

Still though, it feels a bit, bit sad.

Seeing your Instagram dead,

it's just

crazy. You can have 9,000 people following

you and your Instagram DMs are dead. It's

like no one wants to talk to you.

Maybe I do need a therapist because I

don't have any friends. I don't really

have anyone to talk to,

and then maybe a therapist would offer

some good ideas.

I don't want to pay to do it though. It

just seems stupid.

The problem is I don't

find it interesting talking to girls

because girls are not interested in

anything I'm interested in. No girls are

interested in Rainbow Six or stocks or

crypto stuff or the kind of video games I

like, like violent multiplayer video

games. Girls like Animal Crossing and The

Sims.

And then I'm not interested in talking to

guys because I just, I don't

know, it feels kind of gay DMing

a guy,

and I just keep thinking I don't really

see the point chatting to a guy.

It's just like a catch-21.

I like girls, I like talking to girls,

but there's nothing I really want to talk

to girls about.

They're always into stuff like art or

music. Or dance,

playing the violin. So all the stuff I

don't give a crap about.

I feel like chatting to guys doesn't

really help either because just like, get

over it, bro. Just— there's plenty more

fish in the sea. It's just not very

helpful.

So I don't really know what to do because

I can't talk about it online because

I don't really feel like getting bashed

about it. People always just like, it's

all your fault, you deserve it.

Serves you right. It doesn't make me want

to talk about stuff anymore when I just

get that kind of response. So I can't talk

about it online. I don't have any friends

to talk to. I don't want to annoy people

by constantly going on about the same

stuff. I don't know what to talk about

really. So I started writing a diary,

which is funny because that's what people

kept telling me to do. Kept saying, why

don't you write a diary? Yeah, writing a

diary is not a bad idea because

I felt really depressed and stressed out

about something a couple nights ago and I

just wrote down stuff and it did

make me feel a lot better afterwards.

It's weird, I don't know why it it does,

but you just write out your feelings and

it's like you've unloaded them somewhere.

And then you write it in a diary and no

one's gonna see it, so you don't get

attacked about it. The saddest thing about

my YouTube channel has always been I can

never just be authentic without thousands

of people attacking me. It's calling me a

psycho, calling me a shit person, this and

So I never claimed to be a perfect person.

Yeah, I've got lots of problems,

but what's the point attacking me over it?

It's just the

internet culture, I guess.

I guess you can't treat a YouTube audience

like a therapist because they're not

therapists and they'll just rip you to

shreds.

So that's why I'm kind of stuck with

What kind of videos do I make now?

Because I don't really want to make videos

opening myself up if I'm just going to get

attacked for it. It doesn't feel good. I

make a genuine video about problems I'm

having in life, and then the comment

section is just like, you deserve it,

serves you right, you're shit.

It doesn't make me want to make the video.

So I just feel upset and angry at

the reaction I get. So yeah, all my videos

now are just fake clickbait bullshit that

I copied from other channels. And can you

blame me?

Haters did win. Yeah, I guess they did.

Congratulations.

That's why YouTube is not really fun for

me anymore, because YouTube was only fun

for me to talk about my problems and talk

about what's on my mind. But if you get

attacked every time— so imagine you're in

a relationship and you want to open up to

your partner and tell them about your

problems, and every time you try to do

that, they just tell you to shut up, or

they say it was your fault. It doesn't

make you want to talk to them anymore,

does it? You're just going to close off to

It's just a shame because I used to like

doing YouTube, and now I just— I really

hate it.

I really have no idea what to do for

videos.

I think you got sick of trying to get more

views. Yeah, that's also stressful,

constantly thinking about views.

Are things better on the second channel?

Well, the second channel is almost 100%

trolling apart from a few.

I don't care if I make a, a video game

review and then everyone's calling me an

idiot because I don't

really care if they disagree, cuz my

opinion on the game is not even real in

the first place. I'm just saying this game

sucks. I'm just saying it for views. I

don't care if they start attacking me for

Oh no, they're insulting my game reviewing

skills. I never saw myself as a

professional games critic. Critic,

so I really couldn't care less.

I recently finished Kingdom Come:

Deliverance. That was a really good game.

Played it for about 100 hours in total,

finished the main story, and then I just

got bored and ended up massacring the

entire town, which is usually what

happens. That's why I don't like playing

open world games like Skyrim, cuz I

usually get bored and then I just start

killing everyone And then I start fighting

the guards, and then I just level to max

level so I can kill the guards, and then I

end up just killing everyone. And then

there's nothing to do because there's no

quests because I just killed everyone,

and then I just steal everything, and then

there's nothing to do anymore, and then

But it was a good game. The story is

really good. Now I feel interested in the

Czech Republic for some reason. So the

game is set in the 1400s in some village

in the Czech Republic, and then it

actually follows Czech Republic history.

And then you play as some character who

escapes from his village that got burned

down, and then he becomes— he

becomes a nobleman. It's quite fun.

Kingdom Come's coming to Switch. Yeah, I

saw that. I might get it and replay it

because I played the first half years ago.

I only recently decided to continue it,

so I kind of forgot what happened in the

beginning. It was a pretty frustrating

game in the beginning because you suck at

everything and then you have to slowly

level everything up, and then once you've

leveled everything up, then you feel kind

of bored because then there's nothing to

do.

If you could visit a country you never

visited, probably visit Czech Republic and

go to the places in the game. They're

actual places in real life and you can go

there, but they're just tiny villages.

And the actual castle from the game is

there in real life.

It's like a ruined castle. The game

developers designed the game based off of

the real place, so it's pretty cool.

But the game is so pretty, it's all these

rolling green hills, countryside.

It's funny, when I first played the game,

I thought it was in England, and then I

was disappointed that it wasn't English

history. It was like, oh, Czech Republic,

who cares about that country? But it was

quite interesting to learn about.

So I set my Tinder location to Prague and

I got some matches, but they're all so

damn tall over there. They're like 170. I

keep checking the profiles and most of

them say 176, 175 centimeters.

Which is how tall I am.

I don't know if they would like me if

I'm shorter than they are. I mean, I

wouldn't say no to having sex with a

taller girl.

Could go to Germany again. I don't know.

First, I want to go to Manchester, check

out this Manchester girl, see if she's

nice. If we like each other, I could

just stay in Manchester.

Who knows? When's the last time

you had cereal? Back in March,

but I think this is the longest I've been

single for in 12

years. I've been single for 6 months now.

I think it's probably the longest I've

been single for. I've been just

constantly in relationships for the last

I wonder if this year will be the first

year I finally don't get into a

relationship.

Oh, thank you, XJ8.

I think a few people would still watch you

no matter what. I know your videos and

streams have also created the most

wonderful atmosphere for me because of

your voice. Thank you for your content. I

hope you don't have to stop. Oh,

thanks. Yeah, I think I can still get

between 10 and 20K views, but the problem

isn't really the views. The problem is I

don't know what to do. I have no idea what

to make a video about. I've got no passion

to make a video about anything.

I've got no interest anymore in it.

I just— I can't get back the passion of

picking a topic and then explaining it,

telling a story. I just don't know what to

talk about. To be honest, no idea.

I don't want to talk about relationships

anymore. I don't even have anything

I want to say about relationships or

You never had passion before? Yeah, I did.

2017, '18, I was really, really passionate

about making videos. I wanted to make good

videos. I wanted to entertain.

Had lots of ideas. I think

2020,

things started to fade away. My passion.

I started to lose interest. Now I'm

really, really into stocks and trading and

investing. Right now I'm learning day

trading and I'm learning how to use

indicators and RSI and

learning how to read charts. And I find it

really interesting.

Plus it makes, makes way better money than

YouTube if you're not

rubbish at it. It takes a bit of learning

and patience. I'm not a genius at

it. I've made some good trades, but I've

made some really bad trades too. And my

recent crypto trades have been

catastrophically bad.

£7K, that'll go back up. That's in my

long-term portfolio that I don't touch.

I'm not really concerned about the $7K

down portfolio because I've got my other

portfolios and I've got my swing trading

portfolio which is up quite a lot.

I think swing trading,

I don't know, I kind of like it more than

investing.

The trick is you buy at

good prices and not just because, um,

it's gone up a lot.

And usually when news, bad news comes out

and the stock tanks, it's usually a good

time to buy. There's all these short

sellers that write these articles that

crash a stock and then it just goes

straight back up. Like the Hindenburg

Report that crashed DraftKings. I bought

that dip and it just bounced straight back

up.

So I just have to readjust my strategy.

I think I made so many bad choices

when I started. That's why I'm down so

much, because I've made so many bad

choices buying at the tops. I can't

believe I bought Netflix at $550 last year

when it— that was a literal all-time high.

I bought Netflix at an all-time high last

year. And then I lost like $500 because I

sold it at a loss because it just wasn't

I also bought Amazon at all-time high last

year and I lost a couple hundred.

So many bad decisions. I don't know why I

kept buying at all-time highs. So I kept

thinking, oh wow, this stock is going up,

this company must be really good. I need

to have this company.

And then I didn't think about how

expensive the stock was compared to what

it's actually worth.

I don't know why it took such a long time

to click in my brain that you're not

supposed to buy high, supposed to buy low

and then sell high. It seems like it's

such an obvious thing, but it took me such

a long time for it to finally click in my

brain. I think,

I think it's clicking.

Yeah, back then everything was just

shooting up, so it felt like you had to be

in a stock or else you're going to miss

out. There was just so much FOMO.

We'll see how much I can make this month.

June's nearly over. We've got one week

left in June and then I'm gonna take my

profits. From my swing trading account.

Currently I'm up about $1,100.

So if I just sell everything and then take

my, my profits, that's not bad, $1,100.

And it's not like I risked a lot to make

that. I did some pretty low-risk trades

to make that.

But it's silly. Some people think you need

loads. Even I used to think this. I used

to think, oh, you need hundreds of

thousands of dollars to be able to invest.

You don't. You can make money just from

investing a couple hundred or a couple

thousand. I put,

I put £1,700 on Corsair Gaming

last Friday, and then Monday It

went trending on StockTwits and it, it

just pumped about 30% and I made

about £350 or £400.

That felt

good. Why do

you care so much about money? Because I

want to be able to make money without

needing my YouTube channel so much. If I

could take the pressure off of feeling

like I need to make videos non-stop, that

would be so great. I would rather make

money from trading than making videos.

It's called luck. Yeah, it was lucky. I

had no idea I was going to go trending on

StockTwits next week. But I

bought Corsair Gaming at a good price, so

even if it didn't go trending, it was

still a good entry point.

You spend nothing. Well, I will do when I

find a girl. All I need is I need to find

a girl who wants to meet up, then I've got

like a goal. Feels so

good having a girl who wants to meet you.

I know people keep saying stuff like, oh,

you should— you shouldn't have to

prioritize girls and you should have

something else going on in your life. But

Jesus Christ, life is so fucking boring

when you've got no girls. And then when

this Manchester girl once said she wants

to meet me, I was like, oh, I'm saved.

I was drowning and now I've got lifeboat—

lifeboats to swim towards. It just kind of

lights me up. I, I feel like, wow, I've

got something to look forward to, a goal

to aim towards, somewhere to go, so I'm

not just stuck at home.

And then, yeah, maybe it won't work out,

maybe it would be a disaster, but at least

it's something to aim towards.

It's not just— you don't feel just like

every day is so boring and meaningless.

Imagine a world without girls. Life would

be so boring.

Girls make the world go round.

I would be so depressed if one day there

was like a disease and all the women died.

I'd be like, what's the point of living

then?

You'll eventually be without girls for

years. Yeah, something I worry about now

my channel's dead. I don't have dozens of

girls messaging me for my attention.

Still got a couple, but I

guess it's just gonna get less and less

unless by magic my channel blows up again.

But if it wasn't for this stupid COVID

thing, I could, I could have been

traveling to Japan where I actually get

Tinder matches and I could have been

dating. I get matches in Prague.

For some reason I don't get any matches in

London. I don't know why girls in England

don't like me. I don't get any matches on

Tinder here. Even if I set my location to

Czech Republic, I at least get some

If it wasn't for this stupid virus, I'd be

in Japan going on dates every week.

It's how I got married, because I matched

Chihiro on Tinder, not because she

messaged me. I did

so well in Tinder in Japan.

I had different dates every week,

sometimes had 2 dates a week.

Even in Korea, I easily got dates.

And if I stayed longer in Korea and I did

more dating, I eventually think I would

have found someone. But just being in

England sucks so much because I just, I

have no results. I just don't look

attractive to the women here.

I look too nerdy. I look too feminine and

fragile. I changed my location to Thailand

and I got like 100 matches in a few days.

So it's not that I'm unattractive, it's

just the beauty standards for what's

attractive as a male in Europe

and England are just completely different

and completely against my favor.

I'm just at a complete disadvantage in

England in the sexual marketplace,

but in Asia I get a lot of matches and I

get dates. It's just my personality

kind of ruins most of the dates. I had

a lot of failed dates in Korea because I

guess my personality just wasn't very

interesting.

It's difficult though. I don't know how to

be funny, I guess, is what you need to

Yeah, if Elliot Rodger just went to Asia,

because Elliot Rodger was quite a decent

looking guy. At least he

has good skin. I can't even say I've got

good skin. My teeth are all crooked.

I'd say objectively Elliot Rodger is

better looking than I am. He would have

done well in Asia or Japan, but he had

like this obsession with blonde girls,

didn't he?

It's just hard as, as like a nerdy,

skinny-looking Asian guy in Europe where

you're surrounded by men who are like 6

foot tall and they're big and they're

masculine-looking and they've got beards

and they look like proper men. It's just

really— when that, when that proper men is

the standard of attractiveness that women

want, you just don't stand a chance.

You're fucked when you look like this.

You have no chance at competing against

like white guy with a beard who's got like

big broad shoulders. You're fucked.

You gotta go to Asia. You got to go to

Asia or you're going to die a virgin. I

would have died a virgin if I never went

to Asia.

You don't stand a chance.

Why would any European Western girl want

like a nerdy skinny looking Geek when they

could get like bold, broad shoulder guy

with beard who goes to the gym

and hangs out in the pub with his mates.

That's what men—that's what women think of

men as in Europe.

It's just so shit being an Asian guy in

Europe.

The only girls who would like you are like

those kind of weebie girls who are into

K-pop and K-drama and anime.

And then when I get matches in Europe and

I check their profiles, they nearly always

say like they're into anime and they like

It's just the reality of it.

What's wrong with that? There's nothing

wrong with it. It's just those girls are

kind of rare. So unless it's

those kind of girls, you're not really

going to have any luck. I haven't.

And then you can't even say it's about

personality because they don't even give

me a chance. They don't even match me in

Oh, I need to get back to Asia.

The only reason I got some action in

Europe is because of my YouTube channel.

Without the YouTube channel, I would never

have hooked up with some Western girls.

When am I going to Manchester? I'm

thinking July because she said she got—

she's gonna move into her own place soon,

but she said she won't be moved in until

end of June. So I thought I'll go in July

then when she's kind of sorted out so I

can just crash at her place.

She said I can come to her place and stay.

Manchester's pretty cheap. You can get a

nice place for just £500 a month.

But Manchester doesn't look amazing. It

looks very industrial. It looks kind of

weird, to be honest.

You know how North Korea looks different

to South Korea? It's like a weird

different version of England.

Wow, I can't believe Dogecoin's at 18

cents. Ah, I bought it around 25 cents.

I'm down 37, 36% on Doge.

No, please go

back up, please.

I like it when people write the comments.

When I start talking about countries I

want to go to, people start saying, oh

shit, here we go again. I think that's

kind of funny. Reminds me of the days

when I used to hype everyone up about this

new girl I'm gonna go and see, I'm moving

to a new country. I kind of miss those

days. You know, hyping it up, getting

everyone interested in my new adventure.

My subs are going up. I've got 108,545

now. I might actually get to 109K subs.

Am I gonna buy a laptop? I could do,

because now it's Prime— Amazon Prime Day.

I found one laptop. It's got a— what?

Oh, it's out of stock now.

Jesus. But it had an RTX 3060,

16GB RAM, Ryzen 7, and it

was only £1,200.

Had about 15% discount.

Your subs go up when you don't upload.

Yeah, I know. When I start uploading, it

depends on what I uploaded. If it's like

really negative stuff, people unsub.

Probably because they found me from

something else and they didn't expect

me to be so whiny and negative, and

they're like, oh my God, he's so negative,

unsub. Especially when I stream, all the

negativity comes out. I lose like 50 subs.

But if I stop uploading anything, the subs

start going back up because there's

nothing to make them unsub.

I don't know if I want a gaming laptop

because I think if I'm traveling, do I

really want to have a heavy laptop? And

I'm— am I really going to be sitting there

playing games all day?

Shouldn't I be doing something else?

I can come home and play games. I've been

playing games the last 6 months. I want to

do something else now.

Just bring my Switch and then play some

mobile games, Switch games.

I just feel like a laptop could be a waste

of money. If I'm traveling to a

new country, I should be either going on

dates Or just exploring

the country, even if it's by myself.

Am I getting back with my Japanese wife?

I haven't talked to Chihiro since I got

angry at her about Discord. That was so

stupid of me to get so angry about. I

don't know why I got so worked up about

it. It was all over nothing in the

end. Apparently her Discord is dead. And

her new videos don't really get many views

now. That guy doesn't buy her views

anymore.

She made a new video, Super Nintendo

World. It only got 700

views.

I don't know how many of the first videos

of hers, how many views were bought.

Her videos are same and boring. I don't

think my viewers would find her videos

interesting. She would have to have like

that Chris Broad kind of viewership.

That's the thing with my viewers. They are

not interested in anything apart from

drama. They're not interested in video

games. They're not interested in tech.

They're not interested in stocks. I made a

community post about Chivalry 2 and like 5

people replied to it. And then I can make

a community post about smashing

some hot girl or cheating or which race

has the best looking girls, and then it'll

get really good engagement. Most of

my viewership don't care about anything

apart from stupid bottom-of-the-barrel

drama, like EastEnders kind of shit.

Like, oh, who's cheating on who? Oh, who

gave so-and-so a BJ? Oh, who fucked

so-and-so in the asshole? Who got an STD?

That's the stuff they care about. They

don't care about video games or stocks or,

or tech, or they just

don't care about anything. They're like

the worst audience to have ever. Look at

Casey's channel— dead because there's no

We like to watch a train wreck. Yeah,

exactly. So you need to find someone whose

whole life is just a train wreck. And then

who in the whole world would want to have

a constant train wreck for their whole

life? No one wants to live like that.

Unless it's all fake, or it's only gonna

last temporarily. Because eventually,

sooner or later, people sort their lives

out, or they get sick and tired of the

drama, and they just want to have like a

chilled-out, relaxing life.

I don't want to live like that. All this

stupid drama,

all these irritating people trying to mess

things up for you.

Everyone kept saying, oh, we only sub—

your viewers are only here for Japan

content. Well, how come Casey's channel is

dead when he makes Japan content? How come

Kei Chihiro's channel is dead when she

makes Japan content? No one's

here for the Japan content. It's just

because I was in Japan when all the drama

was happening. They think, oh, that's

because he was in Japan, that's why it was

interesting. No, it's because there was

drama, that's why it was interesting.

They don't even know why it was

But yeah, that 20-30K

viewers, they're just shit viewers.

They only stuck around because of the

drama, and then when the drama fizzles

away and then my life's boring, they all

just vanish.

That's what annoys me. I keep saying,

well, why don't you make about stuff

you're actually interested in? Why don't

you make something else that's not drama?

Because then no one watches.

You can even tell from the community

posts. If I make a community post about,

hey guys, what's your favorite video game,

it would get like no engagement. Compared

to some community posts about, hey guys,

which girl should I bang next, black girl

or midget girl? I've just

got a really immature audience.

They just want bottom-of-the-barrel stupid

trash garbage drama.

I'm not talking about you guys, I'm just

talking about like the bulk majority of my

previous audience who have kind of

disappeared now.

Only a small percentage of my viewers

actually like my, you know, normal

content. I'm out of beer.

But yeah, it's the problem when you make a

channel so focused on drama. You need to

keep doing drama or else people won't

watch anymore.

I don't want to make drama videos anymore

because it just, it makes things harder

for me in the future. The more I keep

making drama with people, the less people

want to meet me. In the future.

It's like Onision. Look at Onision. Do you

think anyone would want to meet Onision?

No one in their right mind would ever want

to meet Onision because look at the

content he makes. Look at how hated he is.

Look at how he has drama with literally

everyone in his life and how everyone he

got involved with all ended up hating him.

No one in their right mind is going to see

Onision and go, oh, I want to meet that

guy.

It's just a downward spiral. And I want to

meet people in the future. I want to meet

girls. I want to not be doomed to

loneliness and isolation. So I don't want

to go down that path anymore.

Maybe it's too late, but maybe I can

reverse some of the damage by showing

better behavior. Maybe I'm not completely

doomed if I just stop

doing that destructive kind of content.

Try and show that I've changed, maybe. I

don't think I've fallen as far as Onision

Would I give up on hiding in my room

content?

What is hiding in my room content though?

Is it drama? Is it bashing girls?

Is it talking about people I find

annoying? I just don't feel like those are

good things to make content out of

anymore. Because it's just gonna make it

harder for me in the future.

I need to find a new kind of content

that's not destructive and doesn't make

people turn away from me.

Even if it gets less views. It's not worth

getting more views when it just makes you

look like an absolute dickhead and

no one wants to meet you anymore and no

one wants to talk to you. And then you're

just like, okay, so I got some extra

views, I got some extra bucks, but now I'm

completely isolated and lonely because no

one likes me. Great.

And then if I try and meet people on

Tinder, they're like, oh, you're that

weirdo who makes YouTube and everyone

Imagine if Onision wanted to go on Tinder.

Everyone knows his face. Everyone thinks

he's like a crazy nutjob.

It's not good to not care about what

people think. You kind of have to care.

Because we're all so reliant on society,

unless you're happy with being a complete

hermit and just being alone for the rest

of your life. I don't like being alone. I

feel so depressed right now because I feel

like I'm completely alone.

I don't have anyone,

and then I'm scared that Yeah,

I'm just scared that I'll never find

anyone again. You have family?

I'm really not close to my family.

I barely say— I don't— some days, most

days, I don't even say one word to my

And they, they won't ever be able to

satisfy what I'm seeking because they're

my family. So I'm not going to seek a

romantic relationship with my family.

That's just weird.

So yeah, I'm kind of done with toxic

content. I don't know why I never felt

like this before. I guess maybe because I

had a wife before. I felt like it

wasn't really something to worry about,

but I never felt more alone than I do

right now. I feel so isolated, so alone,

like I've got no one.

Oh, thank you.

6. Have you ever interacted with the

actual Onision? I feel like you guys would

hate each other, lol. I also think you are

much better than the real Onision.

I don't think I have.

I don't know, I've watched a lot of

Onision's videos, and to be honest, I kind

of agree with a lot of the things he says.

And Onision has the same problem I have,

which is he has to play this role to

get views. He has to do like the fake

mental breakdowns and acting like a

dickhead to get attention,

otherwise people don't care.

I think a lot of things he says make

sense, but he,

he is very unlikable, very What's

the word?

Yeah, people just don't like him because

of the way he talks in a very arrogant

way, like a very opposite

to humble way. He's very easy to hate

and enjoyable to hate.

His channel is really dead though. He