I'm Sick [BiEmSNde5bY]

Testing,

testing. Hello?

Testing, testing.

Hello? Oh,

do you think my voice sounds weird?

Because in my head it sounds really weird,

but then when I asked someone, they said I

sound the same as I usually do.

There's no way I sound the same.

Wait, let me hear. There's no way I

sound the same.

It keeps cutting out as well. There's no

way I sound the same.

Wait, let me hear. There's no way I sound

the same. My voice keeps cracking

as well. Your voice sounds different.

Yeah, I thought so. I don't know how

someone can say I sound the same as I

usually do.

Oh my God, it's been like this for a week

now. So when I got back from

Malaysia, I was completely fine. Then the

next day I had a bit of a sore throat for

about 3 days, and it was a really bad sore

throat. It was so painful. And then after

day 4, it went away, but then I got this

cough instead. It's like it happens in

stages. First you get the sore throat.

And then it turns into a cough.

In the morning, it's really bad. I start

coughing up this really thick green stuff.

This really thick yellowy green stuff

comes out.

Oh, thanks, Jane. Thai YouTuber called you

disgusting and a loser, lol. See that

3-year-old video? Why are you going on and

on about that now? Going on and on about

it on Discord, now you're going on and on

about it on Super Chat. Who cares?

No one makes videos about me now anymore.

I need to start learning Thai. I kind of

got a Thai girlfriend now.

Now I've got a Thai girlfriend and a

British girlfriend, and this Japanese

woman wants to voice chat— video chat me

tomorrow. So she's definitely interested,

but she's 39. I didn't divorce

Chihiro so I could get a 39-year-old

girlfriend instead. The whole point of

dumping one girl for being too old So you

get someone a lot younger.

But I guess she'll be good for like backup

in case I need someone in Japan.

She's currently Plan A. So I got

Thai girl waiting, she's 35, and then I

got this Japanese woman too, she's 39.

Why are they all so old? Where are the

The trolls have destroyed your channel by

attacking your viewers. Who's being

attacked?

My voice sounds so weird in my head. It

sounded weirder yesterday. I could feel it

vibrating in my skull.

This is too low.

I can imagine people who have really deep

voices, that doesn't it give them a

headache?

Are you gonna visit the Thai girl? Yeah,

I'm planning to go to Thailand. After I

get my driving license. So maybe October

would be good, or maybe September.

So as it gets cold here, I'll just leave

and go to Thailand where it's hot.

But she seems, she seems, she seems,

she seems really full-on. Like, she's

already talking about marriage and being

in a serious relationship and having

children. And I'm like, yeah, me too. I

want serious relationship too. Yeah, that

sounds great. Obviously I'm not gonna say

no, sorry.

So she wants me to meet her mum already.

She said, she said that she can't

have sex with me. So then I ask her why

not. And then she said she only has sex if

it's with a lover or if we're married.

So I said, if we're boyfriend and

girlfriend, can we have sex? And she said,

if you meet my mum and you're serious

about me. And I said, okay, I'll do that.

Why do, why do women ask these questions?

I'm not going to say no. And then ruin my

chances of having sex.

Oh, thanks, Unique with Twitter tips. Any

thoughts on the JWST, $10 billion space

telescope images released this week?

Yeah, it looks okay, I guess. I watched a

documentary about it a couple days ago,

it was on TV. I never heard of this

telescope before. I heard about it once

back in Manchester. When I went on a date

because she was into space stuff. But

apart from that, I never even knew it was

being developed. It's been in development

for like 18 years. My dad would have loved

it because my dad loves space stuff, but I

never remember my dad saying anything

about this. He must have been following

it.

I watched a documentary on how they made

it and it was really interesting. They

have these mirrors that they've been

polishing for 2 years, and then they have

these big sails that spring out,

and then they had to launch it into space

from South America, and then the

boat trip took like 2 weeks on the boat.

So many things could have gone wrong.

It's amazing they actually got it up and

working.

And nothing went wrong. Had to get it on

the lorry transport and then on the ferry

and then all the way down to South America

and then the Mexican cartel didn't rob

them or anything weird happened like that.

And then all the way into space and then

nothing goes wrong. Pretty impressive.

Oh, thanks. How does it feel not being

smart and losing in stocks? Yeah, I'm

pretty annoyed with the stocks thing.

I honestly thought I was gonna make loads

of money and that's gonna be my next big

thing and I could move on from YouTube,

but I guess I was naive about it.

I'm really disappointed about the stock

market. It's just so frustrating.

Because I sold all the bad stocks I had

and I bought other stuff that I thought

would be better and they just went down as

well. I'm now down 27% on gold.

I thought gold would be a good investment

because of inflation.

Excuse me,

I swallowed too quick and it went in my

So I had a driving lesson on Wednesday,

and I didn't have the cough yet, which is

good because if he found out I was sick,

I might have been— he might have cancelled

the lesson. And I swear he said, see you

next Monday, which is when the next

lesson's supposed to be. And then on

Friday, he messaged me saying, can we

start today's lesson a bit earlier? And I

was like, what? I thought the next

lesson's Monday. And he said, no, you're

booked in for Friday. Maybe he booked that

in before I went to Malaysia and then

forgot, because I forgot as well. But

there's no way I could have done Friday

because I was so coughy and my voice was

even weirder. So I had to say I can't do

Friday. Hopefully on Monday it's okay

because I don't want him to cancel my

lesson. I really need my voice back to

normal next week.

I need my voice. I don't know why it

sounds like— I can't— it's kind of coming

back to normal a little bit. It feels like

someone's pinching it here. It's like,

imagine you pinch your throat here. It

sounds weird.

And it's really hard yawning as well. I

can't yawn. It feels weird.

But I'm pretty sure it's not COVID because

my mum took a COVID test and it came out

negative twice, and we have the same

thing. So I think it's just a cold,

like a common cold.

I don't have a fever or anything.

But it's just annoying because I keep

coughing up phlegm and fluid.

What have you been doing recently? I've

just been learning to drive. I've been

watching videos about driving. I've been

looking for a car to buy,

but now my,

my car plans are being kind of ruined now

because I want to go to Thailand to meet

this woman. I can't really call them girls

anymore. It's weird calling them girls

when they're like 35 years old. I want to

meet this Thai woman. She seems really

into me and she's not fat and she's not

ugly. She's half Chinese,

half Thai, so she's quite nice looking,

not too brown.

It's just kind of frustrating because I

was so desperate for a girlfriend last

year and earlier this year, and then as

soon as I start thinking less about

women and having a girlfriend and I start

focusing on something else like driving,

and car ownership, all of a sudden I got

these prospective girlfriend candidates

come out of nowhere. I'm telling you,

this law of— law of attraction, I mean

law of no effort, it really works.

Every time I get super obsessive over

something, it gets further and further

away. And then when I find something else

to obsess over, it's like the previous

obsession becomes more available.

Now I got like 3 girlfriends to choose

from,

and it's kind of annoying because I

feel like I need to prioritize the women

over the car because I can get a car

anytime. I'm not gonna have access to

vagina anytime, am I? Oh,

that water was full of spit.

Oh, thanks, Luke. What would you do if

Ladyboy's P is waving in front of you?

I don't know, it depends if we're both

naked or if we're in a bedroom or

I gotta do a video phone call tomorrow now

with this Japanese woman, and I'm not

looking forward to it because that other

Japanese woman I was talking to in

Manchester, stupid bitch blocked me.

I can't message her now. Her profile pic

is blank. I said, how are you? Nothing.

And I had to speak to her for like a year

plus. Ugh, I had to speak to her like

2-hour, 2-hour phone calls every week when

I was in Manchester. All of that hard work

for nothing.

I feel so angry, I want to message her,

you stupid fucking bitch, waste my time.

But she might come back and see it, so

maybe it's not a good idea. This is why I

hate doing phone calls.

Do you want to see my phlegm?

It's so boring doing a phone call for like

2 hours, but you have to do it because

it's like you're working towards

building some kind of connection with her

so when you can meet her, you keep her

interested. If you keep saying no when she

asks for a phone call, she'll think you're

not interested anymore, and then you've

blown your chances. So I had to keep

doing the phone calls with her when I was

in Manchester to keep her interested,

and then after I got back home from

Scotland, she just stopped messaging me.

Which is fine, but why has she blocked me

too? Hate when people block me.

So now also this Thai girl wants to do

like video phone calls almost every day.

So frustrating. This is like the most

annoying bit. Of dating. I mean,

long-distance dating when you can't meet

them face to face. They constantly want to

do phone calls.

Do I think at this rate of viewership

you'll end up back at the petrol station?

I sound like I smoke 50 fags a day. I

mean, 50 cigarettes a day. So I end up

back at the petrol station.

Why is that so fun?

I want to smoke my vape, see how deep I

can get it. Wait, let me smoke my vape.

Who wants to guess how much money my

YouTube channel makes now?

Hello and welcome back.

Wow, listen to my voice now.

What up, yo? I didn't do it properly.

What up, yo? Ben Dean here, back with

another mukbang.

Maybe women would find me more attractive

if I sounded like that.

£500 a month? No,

my, my YouTube check for this month is

gonna be £800.

So yeah, pretty shit, but it's not as bad

as some of you guys think it is. What's

£800 in dollarinos? It's like

$1,100.

It's like $1,816.

Uh-oh, it's not even $1,000. It's $960.

Well, do you blame me? Look at my

channel's views. I get like 5K views a

video now. Bloody people don't watch my

I'm working on a video now. It's about a

Vietnamese hooker that I definitely did

not sleep with. It was my friend Bilbo.

He's so dirty. It was

a night of passion.

4 foot 11 inches of Vietnamese

cheesecake. That's your entire Manchester

rent. I think when I was in Manchester, I

was making like $1,200

a month on YouTube, but the OnlyFans was a

lot better. I was making like $1,000 a

month on OnlyFans in Manchester because I

had the whole place to myself all the time

and I could do crazy stuff like get a

massive love doll and just get a load of

dildos. It's kind of tricky to do it now

because I can't get in the mood when my

mum's here. It's just weird.

What am I gonna do for money in the

future? Um,

same as what I'm doing now. I'm gonna do

livestreams and I'm gonna do videos,

gonna make OnlyFans.

Uh, what else can I do? I thought if I

could learn to drive, I could start

filming traffic accidents. Have you seen

those traffic accident channels? I saw

this guy. He's only got about 100K subs,

same as me, and he just filmed some

dashcam footage of a motorbike overtaking

him. Then a couple minutes later, a

motorbike was on fire. Was on fire. It was

on fire on the road. He got 80K views.

That's where the money is. Road accidents,

baby. The only tricky thing is

I'm a bit worried about demonetization if

I film like people dying or something.

Obviously can't film people in a crash and

who actually died. It's gotta be quite

tame. But stuff like traffic accidents,

you type clickbait title like idiot cut me

off at intersection. People love the

traffic stuff. I'm gonna go

driving, see if I can get some footage.

And what else you do? I thought I could do

Uber, maybe Uber Eats, or even Ubering

people. But you need three years of

driving experience to do Uber. But I think

I could do Uber Eats. Maybe I could go and

drive to to London, maybe, and then go to

work Ubering. Or maybe I'd go drive to

I saw one guy. Film his driving test with

a dash cam. He got 16 million views.

Maybe I could do that. Failed idiot

learner fails his driving test.

But yeah, apart from the traffic stuff, I

don't really have any great ideas. Just

gotta wait for the next big trending thing

like Elden Ring. Uber Eats

is terrible money. Yeah, but it's got to

be more than I make on YouTube, £800 a

month. Plus I'll

do it in addition to what I'm currently

doing. I don't really care that much. I

don't even need money anymore. The only

reason I'd want money is to buy a Tesla,

but now I'm not really that sure about

buying a Tesla anymore. I think I'll just

buy a cheap car, maybe 10K car, 15K.

Or I could try get a Tesla on finance.

I'm not really fussed that much about

electric cars anymore. I'd rather just get

a manual diesel. So I quite like driving

manual. It's not hard. You just lift the

clutch up when you change the gear. I

mean, press the clutch down when you

change the gear.

I just need to wait until there's another

big video game that comes out and then I

milk it. Everyone wants to see you out and

about. I don't think so. Look at the

Malaysia videos. Worst views I have in

ages. I get more views just sitting in my

bedroom ranting for 4 hours straight than

the Malaysia videos did. I want

to see what my voice sounds like.

Worst views I have in ages.

4 foot 11 inches of like 5K views

a video now. It's so weird when

I hear my voice in my head, it sounds

really, really deep, but then I listen to

it on the playback, and it actually

doesn't sound that different to what I

usually sound like. Just a bit slower, a

bit raspier.

Would I consider going back to the petrol

station? No,

not really. I wonder if

they're looking for people. It'd be funny

if I did apply again because it's a

completely different company. It's BP now,

not Texaco. And I heard my boss, she quit

a couple months after the company got

sold. So it's a completely different

person running the place. But what if it's

her daughter running the place? It might

be someone who's— who was there before

running the place. I don't know. Do you

think they recognize me?

A lot of people didn't even know I had a

Malaysia trip because they didn't get the

video notifications. They probably don't

Oh, that vibrating thing when

I cough is so tiring.

I was seriously considering maybe getting

a job when I really wanted a Tesla.

Have I been inside a petrol station since

I left? Yeah, I went with Mila when Mila

was here. We went in. I went in with her.

No one rec— there was only one woman there

that I remember. She didn't notice me.

But the inside is completely different.

Create Thailand content. I don't know if

I'm going to create Thailand vlogs because

look at the Malaysia vlogs. They did so

badly, like 4K views.

I think talking is making it worse.

So if I did Thailand vlogs,

number one, they're gonna get crap views

like the Malaysia videos did. So they'll

get rubbish views, which means it's not

worth doing. Or on the flip side, it'll go

viral and then I'll get recognized on the

street in Thailand and it'll blow my

cover. How am I gonna date Thai girls if

people coming up to us going, oh, you

Daniel? And then I got to explain to them,

yeah, I got a YouTube channel,

and then I'm gonna get dumped.

So I actually don't want to go viral if

I went to Thailand. I want to go viral for

something else, but not— I don't want to

get viral and then get recognized in

Thailand because then it will just ruin my

chances on with dating. I was so paranoid

in Manchester because I got recognized 5

times. I don't know how I got recognized

so many times in Manchester. So I got

really scared of going on dates because I

thought, oh crap, what if someone

recognizes me and they come up to me?

So if I went to Thailand, I don't think I

would even vlog anything because the

Malaysia videos did so rubbish. There's no

point. I might as well just stick to

illustrated stuff and then I don't dox

myself and I don't get exposure to Thai

people. The only thing that worried me is

there was this Thai YouTuber who made a

video about me a couple years ago and the

video got quarter of a million views. So

I'm a bit worried some Thai people might

recognize me. I doubt it.

Thai girls don't care about your videos.

I think if they find out that I, I

constantly cheat and I talk shit about

almost every woman, I don't think they'll

be too crazy about me.

Plus, I always end up blabbing about all

the different girls I'm chatting to.

That's why no girls who watch me want to

meet me anymore because all the ones that

did, they find out, oh, he's chatting to

all these other women, and then they don't

want to meet me anymore. It's like that.

Remember Sophia, that 18-year-old girl in

London? I was gonna meet her, and then she

got all upset because she heard me talking

about going on dates on Tinder on my

livestreams. If I just kept my mouth shut,

maybe we could have had sex by now.

But if I don't talk about that stuff,

then I don't know what to talk about.

It's like what I mostly talk about is

dating and women.

I'm a bit worried because it seems like I

do have quite a few viewers who go to

Thailand since I attracted

some sexpats. People,

I guess. If you see

me in Thailand, don't come up to me.

You're gonna blow my cover.

I think I need a drink now.

It's not, not being a YouTuber that's the

problem. It's just I say a lot of not very

nice things and they might find out and

then not like me anymore.

Plus, I do OnlyFans, which is very, very

unattractive to a lot of women. If I

told this girl I'm chatting to now that I

sell nudes to gay men, she's going to lose

interest in me straight away.

So I'm not really looking to make

Thai videos and then blow up in Thailand

I'd like to get my old viewers back if

possible, but I think it's too late for

I was really lucky in Japan because I

vlogged my whole Japanese marriage life in

Japan, and somehow not one single Japanese

YouTuber made a video about me, exposing

me to the Japanese people. So I managed to

just go wild on Tinder and get all these

dates. People didn't recognize— Japanese

people didn't recognize me at all because

all my viewers were American and European.

I got millions of views and exposure from

people like Alien the Elvis. Elvis Alien,

but his viewers are all American and

English-speaking. So I really managed

to dodge a bullet by not having like some

massive Japanese YouTuber with a massive

Japanese audience expose me, which could

have easily happened if like a big

Japanese YouTuber or the Japanese

community found out what I was doing. I

don't think they would be very pleased

with it.

So I got kind of lucky, I guess, in Japan

with that. And it made me think that going

viral is not really a great thing when

people start recognizing you. And I still

get recognized on dating apps now.

They're like, oh, you Daniel.

I was gonna go on a date with this pretty

cute girl in Manchester, and then last

minute she goes, oh, actually, my friend

told me that about your YouTube channel.

And then they say they're not interested

So in the short— in the short term, yeah,

I make couple extra thousand dollars, get

a couple hundred K views or million views,

and that's great and everything, but then

the money doesn't really last very long.

Couple thousands, not a lot.

So if I went to Thailand, I don't know, I

think I'll just— I might do some Instagram

stories, post a few updates.

I don't really think making Thailand video

content is a good idea.

Have I had bad experiences when people

recognize me in public? No, everyone's

been really nice. They ask to take

pictures. They're pleasantly surprised. I

never had a horrible person come up to me.

I didn't get recognized in Malaysia this

time, not even once.

I wonder if some— sometimes people do

recognize me, but they just don't come up

to me. Yeah, I'll do a livestream in

Thailand just like this, cuz livestreams

never go viral. I can say— I can say any

kind of crazy stuff I want to on

livestreams And it's just like our

small-knit community is watching it. But

if I make a video, something crazy like,

oh, my bitch girlfriend's ugly, like some

stupid reaction channel like Abba and

Preach are gonna react to it and then get

another million eyes on it.

Remember my old videos like, oh, my

girlfriend's ugly? It went viral, got

quarter of a million, and then stupid

reaction channels start reacting to it.

But I really, really doubt that I could

have told the same story about my

girlfriend being ugly back then on a

livestream instead of making it a video.

And stupid Abba and Preach would have

never reacted to my boring livestream, me

rambling about my ugly girlfriend.

So livestreams are safe. I feel, I feel

like I can say anything on a livestream.

It's It's not gonna blow up, it's not

gonna go viral. Some stupid reaction

channel's not gonna care.

So I just stream, give you the juicy

gossip live instead of making a video

series about it. Video series makes it a

lot easier to go viral because it's more

bite-sized. People are not gonna

click unless you know who I am. You're not

gonna click on a 4-hour livestream. About

some random guy talking about nothing.

You don't think going to Japan would

revive the channel? I don't think it's

enough. I think it might get some people

back, but then they'll realize, oh, it's

just still kind of boring. There's no

Chihiro. There's no Hong Kong guy.

I need Chihiro back. Chihiro, come back.

I need you. The channel's dead.

I'm gonna go back to the petrol station.

Please, Chihiro, I'm sorry.

I need a new girlfriend, or I need a new

wife, or I need a new Chihiro, or I need

Chihiro back to, um, get people back

in. But as soon as the

Chihiro drama ended, even back then, the

views would drop by 50%.

I had like 50k views with the whole

getting back with Chihiro bit after my dad

died, and then as soon as I went back to

regular life, dropped back down to like

20k. Uh, excuse me.

It would be interesting to see people's

reaction, or if people do come back when I

go back to Japan, seeing if the interest

is still there. I just don't feel

motivated to do crazy stuff anymore like I

used to because the interest is not there

anymore. But when I had those eyes on me,

I felt so it

motivated to just be really weird and do

strange stuff. But now I'm like, it's not

really worth it.

I feel, I feel sad because it's like the

magic that made the channel good back in

2018 and '19, it really is gone.

I don't know why. I think it's because

I've changed as a person. I'm really not

the same person I was when I was 29 or

28. Even though I've got the same goals,

like having sex and flying around to

different countries and not really taking

life seriously, I'm still like that. It's

just something about me now. I don't know

what it is. I'm not the same as

I was back then. I don't know, I lost my

mojo. But I think,

I think it's just impossible to stay as

the same person your whole life. People

change after a few years.

But back then it had like this magical

feeling. Even mundane stuff like waiting

for my sofa delivery or cooking disgusting

Japanese lasagna, there was like this

unique quality to the channel. I don't

know what happened to that. Do I feel

okay? Yeah, I feel fine. It's just my

voice is— my voice is screwed.

It said, um,

in reaction to fighting off a virus,

the body will inflame the vocal cords,

and that somehow makes the voice deeper.

It's like the vocal cords get stretched.

Or they become bigger or something.

What about the British girl? Sounds like

you want to stick around. Yeah, I like the

British girl because she's nearby and we

go places like castles and she drives me.

And actually, I have her to thank for

feeling motivated to learn driving.

Because she— well, first of all, I got— I

nearly got beaten up at the train station

by kids. And then the trains all

got cancelled and I had to ride my bicycle

to town. And then she drove me around and

I thought, actually, having a car would be

pretty cool. And I think women would like

me more and respect me more if I had a

car. Helps me bring more to the table.

So I'm glad I got over this fear of

driving. I just— I hope I don't lose

interest in it and give up on the whole

driving thing. I've had 9

lessons now, so it's about 18 hours of

driving. So I'm getting, getting close.

It says on average people need about 30

hours of driving lessons before they're

ready. And I don't feel quite ready. I

made some mistakes last lesson too, which

were pretty dumb,

but I'm getting near to the 30-hour mark

where I should be starting to feel pretty

confident on the road and I should be

getting pretty good at driving and

situations, handling situations.

It's just I keep making these random

mistakes, like, I don't know,

like I lose concentration and then

something happens randomly.

When am I gonna commit to someone? If

she's really attractive and we really

click and she's nearby and

she's not like full of problems and she

doesn't make my life difficult and

she's accepting of who I am, then I

would say she's the one. But finding that,

that one is so difficult. I thought Mila

was the one, but Mila had so many

problems, like she didn't have any money.

She had to live with her grandmother. She

didn't want to live with me.

She didn't like luxury and comfort. I like

to have, I like to have safe and

comfortable and luxurious accommodation

and transport when I'm traveling. She was

like, oh no, that's boring. I want to

hitchhike and live in a Hostile

or something, dumb stuff like that.

And then she was really negative about my

YouTube stuff. She didn't like the,

the online attention.

So it's gonna be really, really tough for

me to find someone that I would want to

commit to or make sacrifices for. Because

I just think, why would I want to make

sacrifices and commit to one person when

I could just do what I'm doing now and

just nonstop keep getting new girlfriends

and traveling to different countries and

experiencing different cultures? Sure,

they might not last very long, but it's

better than making all these sacrifices

for someone who's probably not going to be

perfect. She's gotta be damn

near perfect for me to want to commit and

give up my current life, because my

current life's not bad. It's pretty

unstable, I guess you could say,

but it can be exciting at times.

I think it'd be pretty exciting to just go

Thailand, meet this woman,

give her some cheesecake. Never been

to Thailand before.

And then I'm also kind of interested in

Vietnam because I won't

say when or where exactly because I might

get in trouble, but I

may or may not have had a recent

experience with a Vietnamese girl.

Vietnamese girls are cute. They're so

small, and the way they speak

is so funny. Like, the way Thai girls and

Vietnamese girls have like this really

cute way of speaking that's very different

to Korea and Japanese girls.

And personality-wise, they seem more

playful, whereas Japanese women seem more

serious and more mature.

Yeah, I could try Vietnam as well, maybe.

No, I don't like Malay girls because

they're all Muslim. I don't want to date a

Muslim. I can't date a Muslim. I would

have to become a Muslim, I think.

And there's so many things Muslims can't

do. They can't gamble, they can't drink

alcohol. I love alcohol. They can't eat

pork. Those are like my 3 favorite things:

pork, gambling, and alcohol. And then they

have to pray all the time, and they gotta

wear weird stuff. No, I just— I could

never date a Muslim.

It's too, too much work. It's too much

complication.

It's funny because I think I heard my

uncle's going to be in Thailand later this

year. I might be in Thailand the same time

he's there. That'd be so funny. I think

it's the uncle who travels a lot because I

met him in South Korea too. Don't know if

you remember. Probably not because I

wasn't doing YouTube then. 2016,

was it? No, it's 2014.

I think it was like 2014. I went to Korea

to live with my ex-Korean girlfriend like

I always used to. And my Malaysian uncle

and his family came. I think it was over

winter to come visit. It's freezing cold.

And it was my first time ever going out on

my own in Korea because before that, my

ex-girlfriend always took me around

Stupid neighbors. They always come home in

their cars with really loud music.

Can you hear that?

Can you hear the music?

Jeez, you guys can hear it? Can you

imagine how loud it is in the car? I can

hear it so well from across the street in

my bedroom. I've got a story

to tell you in a minute about the gypsies.

I'll get to it later. It's pretty funny

and scary. Anyway, so I was in Korea 2014,

I think. And yeah, it was

my first time I had to go and get the

train and go out and meet someone on my

own because my ex said she wasn't coming.

She was busy. She said, go and try it,

try getting there yourself. I was a bit

scared because I didn't have internet, so

I had no Wi-Fi or anything. So I had

to try and find out where they were. And

then we walked around the Korean palaces

and stuff. It's freezing and And I was

wearing like 10 layers, thick winter coat,

scarf, and I could still feel the cold.

We had to keep going into cafes every hour

to get hot drinks because it's so cold.

And I don't think I even barely talked

to them. I was just like following them

from behind. It was 2 of my cousins that I

never usually talk to.

I talked to him a little bit this time.

Just a little bit on the last day. He came

with us to some bars. He showed us some

bars. But his sister was

sitting opposite me at the farewell

dinner. Didn't say one single word to me.

So funny. But she and my sister's

boyfriend were nonstop talking for like an

hour because they're both in finance for

work. She's like an accountant. And they

talk so much. I never said one word to

her. It's so funny how I am

with my family.

Bit worried, there's wasps flying around

my window and it's open.

I don't know why, but all day long there's

wasps flying around the edge of the roof.

They hover around that window, they come

around to the other window. I went outside

to the pond because my mum recently

drained the pond because they want to put

fish into it, and there's loads of wasps

buzzing around the center water fountain

bit. I can't believe my granddad built

that. It's like a teardrop.

If you go onto Google Maps, you look at my

house, you can see a teardrop lake or

pond. He built that with his own hands out

of concrete, and he built like this water

feature fountain thing in the middle. It

was all— it's made out of bricks and it

had like a stone penguin on the top.

Don't know how he did it. My dad fixed it

up so it— so the fountain would work

again, and he,

he made it waterproof so the water

wouldn't leak out. But recently my mum and

her friend drained it so they could put

fish into it. And now there's wasps flying

around all over it. It's weird.

Yeah, there might be a nest somewhere.

That'd be cool to have fish. I kept saying

we should get fish. She said, why didn't

you do it then? I said I couldn't be

bothered. I'd probably just get fish,

plop them in, then they'll die the next

day. But they're doing it properly. I

think they're gonna drain it and then

clean it and It's all full of this black

gunge at the bottom.

Oh, we got a gardener as well. He trimmed

all the bushes. Not all of them, but some

of them. He charged £17 an hour.

I hate wasps and flies. Bees are nice.

Bees are nice. They just go around the

flowers. They're not interested in your

food. They don't try and come into the

house. They just go flower to flower.

They just want the pollen. Those stupid

wasps, they try and come into the house,

especially houseflies. I've got all the

doors and windows open to let the flies

out. The flies don't

fly out on purpose. They fly round and

round. They go towards the open door and

instead of flying out, they do a U-turn,

come back into the house. They don't want

to go out. They want to stay in the house

and they just fly circuits round in the

house. Drives me crazy. I kill like 5

flies every day with the vacuum cleaner.

Can't they piss off? There's another

wasp hovering outside my window.

Go away, idiot.

They— it's like the flies purposefully

avoid the open window and the open doors,

so they stay inside the house so they

could find stuff to eat, I guess.

Do I miss Gunner Larsson?

Didn't he donate a lot? You know what I

noticed? Like, the regular donators are

not really here anymore. There was that

T-Pop Fever guy. What happened to him? I

miss him. I miss his donos. There was

that— there was a

few others that used to

donate a lot. They're gone now.

Okay, I'll tell you the gypsy story.

It was so scary. Yesterday I was on my

computer like this. I could hear sandals

someone in sandals coming closer and

closer. I quickly switch on my camera and

there's a naked guy wrapped

in a towel walking down my driveway in

a baseball cap. And he just walks down the

drive, has a look around, walks in, walks

to the front entrance, and then he

disappears out of sight because my camera

Doesn't show the bottom bit, and then he's

like missing for thirty seconds. I got it

all on video. Thirty seconds is a long

time. He's just standing in front of the

house. I don't know what he's doing. I had

some Amazon parcels, big boxes in front of

the door. I think he was having a look at

it, but they were just crisps. I got two

big boxes of crisps from Amazon,

and they had the Walkers logo on the

outside, so I think he wasn't interested.

But I reckon he was having a good look at

the boxes. Or he was looking in through

the window, because I don't know what he

was doing. You try standing outside a

stranger's house for 30 seconds. It's a

long time. And then I see him re-emerge

from the bottom of the frame. He walks

back up, up the drive, crosses the road,

flashes his naked body. He like lifts up

his towel like that, flashes not towards

me, towards his own gate. I don't know

what He was doing, like readjusting his

towel maybe. I'd never seen him before.

He came out of the gypsy compound because

he pressed the button, the gates opened,

he went back in. He just came out,

crossed the road, came down our drive,

and then walked back up in a towel.

So freaky. Either he's drunk or high,

or he was like scouting the place out to

rob it. My heart was beating,

my heart was racing so much.

I got it on video.

Look, you can't really see it well.

Look, he looks like a freaking lunatic.

Look at the way he's walking, like Hunched

up. It was so scary. He looked pretty tall

as well, like 5 foot 10, 5 foot 11.

Look, watch him flash.

Look, he flashed his towel. Did you see

And then he goes back in.

I got a close-up of his face. He looks

like Niko Bellic from GTA 4.

It looks like tattoos on his chest as

well. He looks so shady,

scary as fuck.

He's definitely got tattoos.

Never seen that guy before. So weird.

Look, I got a screenshot of him flashing.

Now I'm kind of freaked out. I make sure

all the doors are locked. I mean, if the

door was locked, he could have just walked

straight in and like raped me in my

bumhole. I could have done nothing. He

just walked straight in. Make sure the

door's all locked now when my mum goes to

work. But what can I do? And the police

won't get here for like 5 minutes, at

least like 5 or 10 minutes. He might

cum in my anus in the first 30 seconds.

Scary.

I just got my gun.

I noticed this gun jams when you cock it

back when it's lifted upwards like that,

so you gotta cock it like I think

it's jammed again. Something's wrong with

it. Look, and then they all kind

of just dribble out the end. Broke my gun.

So I'm starting to think about upping my,

my CCTV system. So it's not good that I

have to switch to my camera views. I need

it visible all the time. So I

ordered this HDMI cable.

So I got my old monitor, it used to be my

dad's monitor, I put it up there on the

windowsill and And I ordered

another HDMI cable that's gonna plug into

my laptop so I have dual monitors. I guess

I could have my laptop monitor open, but

I'd rather have that one because it's

bigger. I'm just gonna have that

permanently on with the webcam

so I can always have it visible. I feel

kind of annoyed that I didn't see the guy

walking down the drive until he was right

in front of the house.

I only knew because I could hear the

sandals. I'm not checking my camera all

the time. I need to switch to it.

Oh, thanks, Carrie. Thanks for the laugh

tears of joy. OMG, yeah, it's funny,

but it's a bit scary too.

Not sure what else I can do to secure the

property. We've got a gate,

but you can easily just walk around the

gate. There's a big opening next to the

gate. It's kind of— I don't know why my

mum got the gate, to be honest. She said

it makes her feel safer. I guess in a way

it prevents cars from driving into the

drive, but then if they really wanted to,

it takes like 10 seconds to unlatch

the gate. It's not a locked gate.

The gypsies have the better gates. It's

got a brick wall. You can't get in there

without them opening it.

And they've got like a proper CCTV system.

They've got a big tall pole with this big

proper professional-looking surveillance

camera on it. I just got this crappy

webcam.

And people shouldn't be able to just

easily walk down into your drive like

that. We need a brick wall with a gate

that needs someone on the inside to open

it. Don't feel

So I'm gonna have that monitor on display

all the time so I can always see if

someone's gonna come down the drive.

What else can I do? So weird.

I don't know why he just walked into our

drive and then walks back out. Why do I

call them gypsies? Because they are.

Because everyone calls them gypsies.

That's what they're known as, or

travelers. Irish travelers or gypsies is

what they're called.

But what can we do? I feel like the police

won't even do anything. So police don't

really take much action against them.

It's like they don't want to deal with

them because they're always so

problematic. Definitely scouting. Yeah,

but why would you scout out a place to rob

naked? Wouldn't you like put on your

trainers, get dressed?

You walk down naked in a towel. Maybe he

just wanted to borrow some soap, but he

didn't even ring the doorbell or anything.

So if he wanted to ask or borrow

something, he didn't even ring the

Did I go on the driving lesson with the

sickness? Yeah, I guess I did, but I

didn't have the cough. I didn't cough

once. Imagine if the driving instructor

messages me saying, sorry, Daniel, I'm

sick. I'm like, oh, that's unfortunate.

I wonder where you got that from, because

I feel fine.

When I took my driving lesson, I only had

a sore throat at that time. I didn't get

the cough until the next day.

I really want to do my driving lesson.

Stupid sickness.

He might not want to take the risk even if

I tell him I took a test and it's not

He'll be like, isn't it selfish? What if I

spread it to all of my other students?

Yeah, I guess so.

It's just I'm so eager to learn to drive.

He might have had Amazon delivery that was

missing. Yeah, yeah, it could be just

something simple like that.

Maybe he thought one of those boxes was

his. Still weird though.

The driver gave you the cough? What, my

instructor? No, cuz my mom and my sister

has it too,

so we probably got it from the plane or

the airport. It must have been on the

Looking for his dog,

maybe, because they used to have a dog

and then it used to run into our garden.

Sometimes they would come looking for it.

They definitely had this really white

fluffy dog. What was it called?

I remember one of the, the younger girls

over there. She's like blonde and tanned,

typical Essex girl kind of look.

She'd like start coming into our drive

calling the dog.

You know, I think she was the one who came

to the petrol station, and I don't know if

she's joking or not. She said to the

Nepalese guy. That she would give him a

blowjob for like £50.

Sometimes people joke about things like

that and they say they're joking, but

maybe it comes from a place of truth.

Maybe that's where they make their money.

I wouldn't mind paying like £100 for sex,

maybe. I don't know, some of those Irish

girls are quite hot. Not fat,

Blonde, tanned. Just sounds shady.

Like, what if her brother finds out and

beats me up? Don't really want to get

involved with neighbors, even though it

would be convenient. Just like, messra,

wanna fuck now? Then come to the cabin. I

got the money.

My experience with Irish hooker.

Have I decided what car to buy? No.

I kind of like the, the white Honda Civic

now. Honda Civic diesel.

They look pretty nice, Honda Civics.

I like the, the rear end looks nice.

Or the, um, what else is nice?

Maybe the Hyundai Ioniq. Ioniq looks

quite nice too.

Not sure. They had a really cheap Dacia

Sandero for like £5,000, but it's gone

now. Apparently those cars

are quite famous because James May from

Top Gear really likes them and kept

mentioning them on Top Gear. I never knew

that. So James

May says it's like a really good cheap

car. It looks okay, it's pretty plain.

It's just funny, with 20K I could get some

pretty nice cars. If you just ignore

Teslas. You can get like an Audi TT,

or you can get like a Ford Mustang, or you

can get like a proper sports car,

2-seater sports car.

And there's some Honda Civics, like Type R

racer types with spoilers and 2-liter

engines. They could do 0 to 60 in 5

seconds, like proper racer spec, for about

20K. I don't think