How R hapas affected me mentally - part 2 of the evolution of my YouTube channel

Okay, let's fast forward to January of

this year. This was when everything

changed, really. This was a huge event for

the channel. r/Happas and Reddit.

In early January, I decided to make a

video titled Growing Up in the UK as a

Mixed-Race Child, and I talked about

racism and the experiences that I had

growing up in England. And someone from

the subreddit r/Happas found my video,

and he decided to link my video onto the

subreddit. After about a week, I noticed

that that video had thousands of views.

For me, thousands of views was huge at

that time. At that time, my videos were

struggling to even get over 100 views

after weeks. So to me, thousands of views

was amazing. I decided to go into

analytics and I looked at the traffic

sources, and one of the highest

percentages for external traffic was from

a website called Reddit and the r/happiest

subreddit. So I decided to trace back to

that. I Google searched my video and I

found it. I found the post where they

linked my video and they were talking

about me. When I read the comments for

that video, I was kind of shocked and

surprised. They weren't actually talking

about the things that I was talking about

in the video. They were all obsessing

about how Asian I looked, as if that was a

bad thing, as if looking Asian was a

negative thing, which is Stupid. I was a

bit curious and I decided to check out

what this subreddit was all about. I read

the description. It said a safe place for

half-Asian, half-white people to talk

about the issues they have being mixed

race, and I thought, hey, this is great.

This looks interesting. I can finally talk

to people who might have shared the same

experiences as me. I found one post where

they were talking about me. Someone found

a photo of my family that I had posted on

Instagram of my whole family, and they

were saying all these things. One of the

moderators was commenting things like,

what a disgusting looking family, and this

is sickening. And I kind of got into an

argument with him, and I was, I was

angry because these people were saying

that my family were disgusting just

because of this stereotype, this negative

stereotype that they had created

themselves of Asian women and white men

couples. They don't even know my family,

and they were judging them and assuming

all of these negative things about them.

And I said to the moderator, how can you

be a moderator here when you're saying

such offensive, rude things about my

family? I thought this was supposed to be

a safe place for half-Asian mixed-race

people. How is this a safe place? He said,

you must be new here, and he said that I

should read the other posts on the

subreddit to educate myself and wake up.

To the reality of what being half Asian,

half white is. And I said,

okay, and I decided to read some other

posts on the subreddit, and it was all

just really negative, hateful stuff

against interracial couples and Asian

women. And I thought to myself, these

people are weird and kind of scary. I

don't agree with anything that they're

saying. I think that what they're saying

is stupid, and they're very rude towards

me, so I decided to stop looking

at that subreddit, and I wanted to just

forget about it, but I couldn't because

every time I uploaded a new video, they

would link the video onto the subreddit,

and then they would start talking about

me. They would even come over to my

YouTube channel and start leaving

comments. A lot of them would leave really

insulting and hateful comments against me.

One of their main insults was talking

about how Asian I looked, which I thought

was really weird. I was used to being

bullied by white kids at school for

looking Asian, But I wasn't expecting that

a bunch of grown half-Asian men would be

teasing me because I look Asian when they

probably look Asian as well because

they're half-Asian. It doesn't make sense.

Also, I don't see how that's an insult. I

like the way I look. I like looking Asian.

Sometimes I wished I looked more Asian. I

think that some of the best people, the

best-looking people in the world are

Asian. Also, another thing they used to

like to tease me about was that I could

only get Asian girlfriends, as if having

an Asian girlfriend was the worst thing

ever, which I don't agree with. Asian

women are my favorite type of women, and I

would be upset if I couldn't get an Asian

girlfriend. Anyway, they kept linking

every single video that I uploaded onto

the subreddit, and they kept talking about

me in a negative way. They would say

things like, he's such a loser. They would

just say lots of mean things about me,

and I just thought that these people are

either a bunch of 14-year-old kids or A

bunch of really sad, miserable grown-ups

who have had tragic experiences in life,

and they're just really hateful. At first,

I tried arguing with them. I tried

defending my life choices and my Asian

girl preferences, but then I realized that

it was a waste of time. These people just

had the complete opposite way of thinking

to me, and most of them were incapable of

discussing things like a civilized adult

without resorting to name-calling. They

would use words such as cuck or beta

loser. It felt like I was talking to a

bunch of retarded 12-year-olds who thought

they were cool and edgy. Anyway, I

realized that it was pointless trying to

talk to these people, and instead of just

walking away and forgetting about them, I

decided to troll them instead. Because I

knew that they would link my videos and

start talking about me, I started to make

really weird videos talking about things

like dick cheese or how ugly my exes were.

Or that I like older women, and I also

started to make more videos talking about

racial issues, hoping that they would link

the video and share it, thus getting me

more views and more ad revenue. And it

worked! My channel exploded. I gained

about 600 to 700 new subscribers. My

videos were getting thousands of views

every time, which was huge to me, going

from videos that couldn't even get 100

views to videos that were getting over

2,000 views every time was so exciting.

And my ad revenue went from about $15, it

shot up to around $100. The goal was to

make them realize that I was trolling and

I enjoyed the attention. And it worked.

They stopped linking my videos and they

stopped talking about me after they

realized that I was doing this for

attention. And I'm not saying that I made

up those stories in those videos. All the

stories I told in those videos were 100%

true. It's just that They're, they're not

really things that normal people would

talk about publicly. There was no way I

could have made those embarrassing videos

last year when I actually cared about what

people thought and I didn't want to

embarrass myself. But thanks to r/happas,

they gave me the confidence to be able to

talk about anything that I want to without

caring if people think I'm an idiot or if

they agree with me or not. It's so

liberating when you stop caring about what

people think. That's the thing with social

anxiety. You care too much about what

people think of you. That's why you feel

so socially anxious, but learning how

to stop caring about what people think has

helped me so much in overcoming the social

anxiety that I suffered from. I feel like

the whole r/Happas era has ended.

Sometimes they still talk about me on the

forums. Sometimes they get new people to

the subreddit who ask questions like, I am

a loser and I can't get a girlfriend.

HidingMyRoom seems to be doing okay. He's

also a loser, but somehow he manages to

get girlfriends. Should I copy him? And

then that'll get loads of responses

saying, no, don't copy Hiding My Room.

He's just a loser who degrades himself and

sleeps with anything that moves. Which is

kind of true. I have pretty low standards,

but what can I say? I like sex, and I'd

rather be having sex than rejecting every

girl that approaches me just because she's

not a 10 out of 10. Okay, we've got more

things to cover. Jesus, this video is

gonna be long. So let's go to March.

In March, someone called George Trombly

from the Japanese from Zero YouTube

channel actually found my YouTube channel,

and he started watching my videos, and he

contacted me. We ended up chatting, and we

eventually met up in London, and we had

lunch together, which was pretty cool. If

you don't know who George Trombly is,

he's basically an American guy who teaches

Japanese, and when I first started

learning Japanese, I used his website to

learn Japanese. I learned all of my basic

Japanese from his website and from his

show, the George and Keiko Show, which I

used to love. It was really strange to

have someone that I used to watch on a

daily basis 10 years ago contact me and

say that he enjoyed watching my videos,

and then having him ask me if I wanted to

meet up. It was kind of surreal. And then

a few months later, another pretty large

YouTuber called GimmeABreakMan actually

started commenting on my videos, and this

was a huge surprise as well. I used to

watch GimmeABreakMan's videos on a daily

basis around 8 to 10 years ago when I was

completely obsessed with living in Japan

and Japan and learning Japanese. When I

first started learning Japanese, I

searched on YouTube, learned how to learn

Japanese or how to speak Japanese, and

GimmeABreakMan's video was one of the top

videos that came up, and I watched it and

I was really impressed with his Japanese

ability, and I really looked up to him.

At that time, one of my biggest dreams was

to live in Japan, and I thought it was

really cool how he had lived in Japan for

such a long time. And how he owned his own

English school. I really wanted to become

like that. I guess, I guess I failed,

didn't I? Both GimmeABreakMan and George

talked about me in a video and shouted out

my channel, and I'm really grateful for

that. I wanted to say thanks to them. I

learned a lot from these 2 people. They

inspired me to do things like going to

Japan, learning Japanese, and if it wasn't

for them, I might not be the person I am

today. I don't know if that's a good thing

or a bad thing. And it's really nice to be

noticed by people that I looked up to and

have them say things like, I enjoy

watching your videos. It's strange, it's

like a circle. I used to enjoy watching

their videos, and now they enjoy watching

my videos. And then lastly, there's the

Elliot Rodger video, which has over 50,000

views, which is insane for me. And I'm

pretty sure most people have found my

channel thanks to Elliot Rodger. It's kind

of strange. I owe so much of my channel

growth to this mass murderer. I don't know

how I feel about that. So that was just a

quick overview of my YouTube channel. 2

years, 4,500 subscribers. I know it's

not very impressive. 4,500 subscribers in

2 years is pretty poor in YouTube terms,

but I'm amazed every day that people

actually watch my videos and that I was

able to create kind of like a community in

the first place. That wasn't really my

intention or goal when I started doing

YouTube. I started doing YouTube because I

was bored and I wanted to talk about my

feelings. Sometime around March or April,

maybe even February, my videos used to get

so many hate comments. The comment section

used to be like a battleground. It was

like a war zone between people who were

really judgmental and critical against my

life decisions and And people who

supported my life decisions or shared the

same way of thinking as me. And at first,

I used to really hate these hate comments.

They were so irritating, and I used to

delete them. I used to argue with people,

and in the end, I banned about 10 to 15

people. But recently, I kind of miss them.

It feels kind of lonely without all the

hate comments. I don't really get these

really hateful comments anymore. I don't

get these comments where people leave

these really long essay-like criticisms

against me, and I feel like the channel's

become a bit dull, a bit boring without

them. This must have been what Churchill

felt like after he defeated Hitler. You

know, when you have rivals, you feel like

you're energized to, to beat them, but

after you've beaten them, it feels lonely

at the top. Right now, I kind of feel like

my channel's on the decline. Subscribers

are going up, but everything else is going

down. Watch time, views, ad revenue, it's

all going down. And my views— my videos

are getting less views in general compared

to a few months ago. I guess people have

just gotten bored with watching me whinge

about things. Sometimes I wonder if doing

the livestreams kind of damaged the

channel. Maybe by doing livestreams, I

showed you too much of myself. I took away

the mystery of Daniel, and if you watch me

on livestreams, you can just see that I'm

just a plain, boring, average person.

But I don't regret doing livestreams. I

really enjoy doing the livestreams, and

livestreaming has been something that I've

always been really scared of doing. I've

always been really nervous about doing it.

And I feel like I've overcome that fear.

I've turned something that I was scared of

doing into something that I enjoy doing.

Also, it's a lot easier to do a livestream

because you don't have to do any editing.

But I think that's pretty normal. It's not

unusual for a YouTube channel to have more

subscribers than it has video views.

Sometimes you come across channels that

have a million subscribers, and yet they

only have about 100,000 views per video.

It can be a bit depressing to see your

channel decline in growth or start to die,

but I still enjoy making videos, and even

if only one person was watching my videos,

I would still make videos because that's

what I want to do. So, um, yeah, thanks

for watching and goodbye!