Kick Livestreams/my life is ruined 2025-09-23 05_07 [2651df21-my-life-is-ruined] 480p concat

Uh-huh.

Testing,

testing. 嗯啊，好。

I nearly choked on my saliva just now. It was bad.

You know when you get that saliva that has no bubbles in it? And it's like pure liquid, and it just flows down your throat into your lungs.

Oh, it was bad. It just went

straight down the lung hole.

Straight down the lung hole. Do you think the mic sounds okay like this? Because I cannot be bothered to plug my proper mic in.

Sounds okay.

Sounds okay. Testing.

Sounds okay. Testing. Yeah, bring it a bit closer maybe.

Documentary about David Beckham on TV. David Beckham must be the most boring celebrity ever.

Never had any scandals.

Everyone loves him.

Can you imagine anyone trying to assassinate David Beckham?

Must be like one of the most likable, liked celebrities after his football career. I don't know, it's like all he ever does is brand stuff where he just wears the thing. He's just like a fancy salesman for brand stuff.

People see David Beckham wearing it or using it and they're like, I want it too. A stupid bunch of sheep.

I bet he's from Essex. He's got that Essex-sounding accent, like Russell Brand. He's got that granny-sounding voice.

He's a very good-looking man, I guess.

Helps sell stuff. Did he reach on his wife? No way.

No way.

Did David— yeah, but David Beckham's the kind of guy who can cheat on his wife and people still like him because he's so handsome and he's so nice.

Me, I cheat on my wife and everyone hates my guts.

Face allegations of infidelity.

He denied the allegations, calling them ludicrous.

My hair feels more flat and lifeless since I came back. I think the water here is different than Devon. It's more chalky or chalky heavier.

It's very dark in this corner.

That's not very flattering.

iPhone Air's on 62% battery on low power mode. 8 PM, 62% left.

Pretty damn good. Don't know why people are saying battery's bad.

Yeah, I do yearn for excitement. I'm gonna be getting some excitement on the weekend, but I'm not telling you about it. You'll just mess it up for me. Trying to ruin my life, aren't you?

No, my life has only been ruined because of viewers, not because anything I did. If it wasn't for the viewers, I'd still have Amazon Flex, I'd still have every—

um,

what more can I say?

有房。

What'd

I do today?

All I did was I cleaned my car and I cleaned my bedroom and I reorganized my bedroom,

and then I messed about with my iPhone.

I made £7 on stocks.

Market's still ripping.

Oh, it's nice having my chair back.

I forgot how much I missed my chair.

Don't have to sit on that stupid bed.

Oh, you see, this is how you're supposed to enjoy the evening. It's kind of low.

Oh, that's better. Oh, I thought it was weirdly low. See, this is how you're supposed to enjoy the evening. Feet up— fuck— feet up on the desk. Get all this stuff out the way.

Feet up. Oh, my legs are killing me after kicking that football.

Feet up,

enjoying a crisp fresh mint,

winding down for the night.

Why can't I lean the back of the chair back? This chair is not very good.

I had leftover roast pork, beef, and cauliflower cheese.

Oh, my leg's killing me. Upper thighs.

It's not very comfy downstairs because there's no room to sit on the sofa. So everyone's sitting on the sofa, but there's no room for me, so I gotta sit on the table behind them.

With everyone's back turned to me. It's not very sociable because the baby is laying on the place where I would usually sit.

So everyone's on the sofa watching TV and I'm like at the back of the room on the dining table.

So after dinner I just feel like, what's the point? I just come back up.

But what can you do? Maybe get a single-seater armchair.

Idiot chuff weasels though. Oh, you don't involve yourself, you isolate yourself. Oh, what am I supposed to do then? Squeeze in between the baby and my mum?

What am I supposed to be like, oh, move the baby? Shut up, chuff weasel. Oh, you isolate yourself. There's— I don't really have much choice. Where am I supposed to sit then?

Stupid chuff weasel.

I end up spending the whole day alone. I have to stream, and then I only spend like an hour and a half downstairs for dinner.

My sister goes to bed at like 8 PM now, but she has to wake up at 5 to change the diaper.

Maybe I'll do some Uber Eats tomorrow. I want to get this stupid monitor off the table. I'm not even using it.

He

doesn't seem happier.

How am I supposed to— how am I supposed to have a fresh start

with my

internet history haunting me?

Not allowing me to move on, always lingering there. Even if I try and hide it, it's always there, isn't it?

I'm forever burdened by my past.

It's not like I killed anyone,

but it's like I got a life— lifelong sentence dooming me

because I said and did some Weird things. I didn't even do anything illegal. I didn't even kill anyone. I didn't smuggle any drugs. I didn't say anything racist, homophobic, crazy. I didn't say anything that crazy, just kind of weird.

And I had an STD, as if no one ever had an STD.

But I feel like, well, it's a life sentence.

Just feel like it's a bit unfair.

Why the fuck did it drop down to 40 viewers? Fucking pricks leaving my stream.

30 people just turned it off and now 20. What the fuck is happening?

26. Is it bugged or something? It just dropped from like 70 viewers down to 26.

It didn't go offline.

Oh, what is wrong with this stupid shitty website?

Oh, I fucking hate Kick. I have no disconnection, no dropped frames. And then it just— it tells everyone I'm offline. I'm not offline. Yeah, I saw it too. It said I'm offline. I'm not offline.

Why does it keep doing that?

So annoying. Shitting website. They got so much money and they can't even build a fucking website that works.

Maybe they stop throwing money at people like Asmongold, half a million a month, and pay some fucking web developers to create a fucking website that doesn't crash all the time. Idiots.

Stupid fucking useless website.

I didn't even go offline. I didn't even lose connection or anything.

Shitting website.

Never had this problem on YouTube.

Might go make some Ribena whilst I wait for everyone to come back.

Why do they leave and then take ages to come back?

I didn't even go offline. Why is it saying I'm offline?

And even if I did go offline,

it, it should show the IV cam display thingy.

It shouldn't actually say I'm offline. I didn't even go offline because you'll see the VOD didn't save because I haven't ended the stream.

It didn't do this when I streamed directly to Kick,

but I want to use Streamlabs.

I don't know if I'm— I mean, yeah, maybe I'm happy. I don't know. The hell even is happiness?

Yeah, I'm a bit depressed about the viewership. I don't know why— what I can do to get it up. I can't really.

Unfortunately, I have a people-focused audience.

You guys just care about people. You don't care about gaming or tech or stocks.

Like, if I point— I pointed the camera at Blood Bucket and got 200 viewers.

In a way, it's very easy to entertain you guys, but at the same time, it's really hard because I can't just conjure a random person out of nowhere.

Blood Bucket was boring. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Obviously it's an unpopular opinion because everyone found it very interesting.

But explain why.

I don't know, she's interesting in the way that she's had an interesting life and looks interesting, but I don't find it interesting.

Like, I don't find living in America interesting. Or having tattoos interesting.

For me, it wasn't interesting.

The problem is I built my content off of talking about people, like dates and exes and stuff.

And yeah, I mean, I do like talking about people,

um, but not if it's going to get me in trouble.

It's always been really easy to get the views up just by having a woman on the camera, but finding a woman who wants to be on camera is so hard.

And even if they want to be on camera, it always ends badly.

And not even because of anything I did. They get harassed by the viewers. That's the problem. I didn't say anything bad.

I get punished by other people's actions.

So the result is I can't have anyone on.

She was on my YouTube stream at Kit Hill

about— I think it was like a month ago. I tried a quick YouTube stream in the morning. I had 60 viewers.

Terrible.

And don't say because of the time zone, because it didn't matter when I was in Japan, did it?

No, nothing happened during dinner.

Talk to my sister a bit.

But again, it's about things I can't talk about.

So I don't know what I can talk about really.

Oh, shut up, Bobby Brown. It's not like I did it on purpose or do it all the time.

You're the sick bastard who keeps going on about it like you're obsessed with it, that you have dreams fantasizing about it.

You're the sick bastard that keeps bringing up the same thing over and over again about something that happened 2 months ago.

It just tastes like lube.

It was just like slightly brown lube. It wasn't like an actual chunk of shit or like chocolate paste. I don't know what you're imagining in your minds, but it's nothing like how you think it was. It's just like lube but brown.

It's not like I enjoyed it.

Yeah, you're just like that guy who was talking about the shorts in the shorts.

You, you want dopamine. You're trying to trigger an emotional response out of me because you get dopamine out of it. You're selfish dopamine leech.

That's what you trolls are. I'm trying to elicit an emotional response, so you get a dopamine hit.

Sick bastards.

And then I get a dopamine rush when I fucking ban you. How about that?

Sick bastards.

I

should have a role called Sick Bastard role.

Too bad I can't make custom roles like Discord.

I should start off my video saying, what's up, you sick bastards? Didn't Philip DeFranco say some— you beautiful— he said something like, you beautiful bastards.

Oh, I nearly choked on my saliva. I had a coughing fit.

I was kind of zoned out and the saliva just dripped down the back of my throat straight in the lung hole, like when Luke Skywalker shoots the proton torpedo down Death Star

hole. Where was the gag reflex? Nowhere.

Dinner is just leftover roast pork and beef. No potatoes.

No, I had sponge cake for dessert.

Couldn't find the apple crumble.

Maybe I'll try Uber Eats tomorrow.

It's getting to be quite a while since I last drove. 4 days. The more you don't drive, the more anxious you get about it.

Yeah, I shouldn't have to do work at my age.

I should have a skill where I can conjure money out of thin air.

I shouldn't have to go and do stupid delivery work. 36 years old. I'm not some college student trying to do some Uber Eats to make pocket money

delivering McDonald's. Nearly 40 years old. It's insulting.

How am I— how am I 40 years old nearly and I still can't conjure money out of thin air? Using my brain. I've got to deliver McDonald's.

It's, um,

insulting to my intelligence.

I found out what this engine was. Apparently it was a hydrogen peroxide and nuclear propulsion engine for submarines that he went on to help develop.

And then for some reason he took a massive career change and went into yarn spinning specialization, and he invented some kind of yarn spinning machine, and then he wrote 4 books about yarn. How do you go from creating nuclear engines for submarines to then yarn spinning? Weird.

That's his legacy— award-winning yarn spinner

Innovator. And then my granddad, after the war, didn't really seem to have done anything in his life apart from beat his kids and get divorced. And beat his wife.

Not too different to me then. At least I didn't beat any wives though.

She beat me.

She hit my head

with her hammer fist.

How am I a lolcow? You're a lolcow.

Who's the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows the fool?

Yeah,

exactly.

I do like my iPhone though. iPhone Air, 5.6 millimeter thickness.

Should I try bend it?

Oh, I don't want to. It's scary.

No, I don't want to. If Joe Rig Everything can't do it, I don't think I could do it with my little skinny fingers.

Unless you can exert 200 pounds of force in your thumbs.

Maybe I can do my Samsung.

Oh no, I don't want to.

Haha, you can't type court. Suck it.

No, I never cooked a Jamie Oliver meal.

He, he's never made anything that looks good. Jamie Oliver

is another really bland, boring, multi-millionaire white boy from Essex.

Guys from Essex seem to be pretty successful in the UK. You got Russell Brand, David Beckham.

They all got that same accent as well, like the granny accent.

Hmm,

where is Jamie Oliver

from?

Essex. Where is David Beckham from?

Oh, East London. He grew up in Chingford. That sounds racist.

It says Chingford borders Essex, so it's basically Essex,

pretty much. It's right on the edge of Essex and Greater London.

Just ching fat.

Can you do this?

Bet you can't do that.

Should I put it on the screen? My top 3 hated chatters. Why are you now chatters and not viewers?

Top 3 hated

chatters. Number 1, Chuff Weasel. Number 2,

Bobby Brown.

Number 3, Hmm, my hate for TB has dissipated.

Mudeus is not really around anymore, so

doesn't really count.

We'll put— I'll put annoying instead of hated.

Chuff Weasel still fresh on my mind with my hatred.

Tough Weasel said

that it's my fault that I feel lonely at home because I don't get involved with my family and I isolate myself.

Get involved with what? They don't do anything.

What is there to get involved with?

And I, I don't isolate myself.

The actual physical layout of the room isolates me.

Like, when everyone's downstairs for dinner,

the sofa only seats 4 people,

so there's no room for me to sit on the sofa.

So then I end up sitting at the table on my own, and everyone's got their backs turned to me. What am I supposed to do? Sit on the floor in front of them.

Yeah, I used to sit on the beanbag in front of the fireplace, but then my mum put that big coffee table in front of the sofa. The big coffee table didn't used to be there. When I was in my early 20s and mid-20s, there was no coffee table in front of the sofa, and I put my beanbag

in front of the fireplace.

And my mum and dad sit on the sofa and I'd sit on the beanbag.

So if I did that now, I would be hidden by the table and it would be weird because the fireplace is not even on. When the fire used to be on, it was nice to sit by the fireplace on the beanbag and I would leech all the heat.

And also the TV is weird now because it doesn't have the normal channels like BBC One, BBC Two, Channel Four. It just seems to have these digital channels,

right? Sky News Live. So I can't even watch Channel Four News with Christian Guru Murphy.

I spent half the day clearing this crap out my bedroom because it was used like a dumping room,

but I set everything back to how it was. Look, I got my chair back.

Got my space back.

Yeah, my dildo is gone.

Oh, sorry.

I can't masturbate because Pushkin keeps sleeping on my bed, so I haven't masturbated in 3 days.

And then if I don't— if I don't masturbate after a week, my CUM goes yellow.

Because it's not fresh, it's old and musty.

Yeah, once I didn't nut for a week and then I nutted

and it felt weird.

Like popping a pimple, and then it came out yellow.

That's why I don't want to get a cat.

Because how are you supposed to have intimate time with your girl when the cat keeps coming in the room? Me and Mita had to kick the kitten out of the bedroom.

Yeah, I remember one time I was gonna do it, and then it was, uh, years ago. Pushkin was just sitting up on the closet

And then I saw him there and I was like, oh crap, he's just sitting on the top of the closet watching.

And my stomach's felt bloated all day. Like I need to fart, but it's not coming out. It's just stuck there.

Usually I fart around this time, but I'm not feeling any farts coming out.

Well, actually, I might have one. Where's the mute?

Okay, I had one.

Oh, it hurts my stomach if I don't fart.

I usually fart after dinner.

I don't know where Pushkin is now.

He might walk in soon.

I've only made $70 so far today. I might get to $100.

Stream another 3 hours.

I mean, I've got hairs growing around my nipple.

They're hard to pluck out.

Ah, maybe use tweezers.

找到了。

I

got another one.

Yeah, I

got them.

Well,

I gave up trying to look like a girl because my hair just looks like a helmet. When my hair gets long, it looks like a helmet. It doesn't get all long and nice looking,

so I gave up trying to have long luscious hair.

Oh.

Watch.

Hmm,

I'm not feeling the nicotine anymore. It's weird.

Guess

I'm immune.

My legs hurt.

We've

got 20 mgs of nicotine.

Ah, oh, my

thighs.

No stars tonight.

You see outside this

window?

Go

out.

What's that?

Hasale. Jupiter. Jupiter's down there.

Oh, look, the sun's down there.