Let's talk about Depression

What is depression? Well, people can feel

sad for a number of reasons. For example,

their goldfish could die, their

grandmother could get hit by a bus. These

are all good reasons to feel sad. When

something tragic happens to you and you

feel sad, that's, that's normal. That's

not depression. The thing is with

depression is when nothing really tragic

has happened to you and you Yet for some

reason you feel sad for absolutely no

reason. You just feel upset. You feel

down. You feel down in the dumps. I think

that's what depression is. Sometimes I

feel sad for absolutely no reason. I just

wake up in the morning and for some reason

I don't feel happy. I don't feel motivated

to do anything. I just want to lie in bed.

I don't want to wake up. I don't want to

do anything. Everything just feels

pointless. I keep thinking to myself,

what's the point in waking up? What's the

point in doing anything? It's just going

to be a waste of time. It's not going to

achieve anything. Might as well just stay

in bed. And this mood can last for days

and days. I think I'm currently having one

of these moods right now, and it can take

several days until I snap out of it.

Usually doesn't last longer than a few

days. But when I'm having one of these

moods, I just, I feel empty inside.

I think that's the best way of describing

it. I don't feel like doing anything.

There's no enjoyment in life. Everything

is just, everything just feels boring.

I think boring is, is an important word

here. I feel bored nearly all of the time.

I don't know a time when I'm not bored.

And I don't know what to do to, to stop

feeling bored. I guess I could do

something interesting, but that's the

problem. There's nothing that interests me

right now that I really want to do. I know

there's hundreds and hundreds of things I

could be doing that are available to me in

the world. It's just I don't want to do

any of those things. None of them look

interesting to me, otherwise I would be

doing it already. I don't know if this is

just extreme laziness, but I don't want to

do anything. I don't want to do anything

that takes any effort, at least. I just

want to kind of exist without pushing

myself. I don't feel motivated to start

anything that's challenging. I don't want

to do anything that's difficult right now.

Everything is just so boring. I used to

have lots of interests in the past. I used

to love video games. I used to love

building models like Warhammer 40K. I used

to love taking photos. I used to be really

into photography. I used to be really into

drawing. I'm not interested in any of

those things. I couldn't care less about

doing those things at all right now. They

just completely bore me. Is feeling bored

and having absolutely no motivation some

form of depression? It can't be normal.

There's, there's hundreds of interesting

things in the world. There's loads of

hobbies that you could be doing. There's

skills that you could be learning, and it

just doesn't seem like it's normal to have

absolutely zero interest in every single

thing in the world. There must be

something that interests you. I hate it

when people say, why don't you just find a

new hobby? Why don't you do something

interesting? As if finding a new hobby is

going to make any difference. Okay, I'll

get a new hobby. I'll pick up origami.

I'll start folding pieces of paper to look

like animals. Yeah, that's really gonna

make my life a whole lot better.

Sometimes people ask me, so what do you do

all day, Daniel? What do you do for fun?

And, um, I don't really do anything. I

just watch YouTube. I watch YouTube pretty

much all day, and then I make lunch, and

then I watch more YouTube. And then when I

get really bored, I watch porn and then

masturbate a few times, maybe.

I'm currently looking for porn where the

guy looks like me. So, um, if you've found

any porn where the guy looks like me,

send it my way. I would be— I would be

very grateful for that. That could be my

new hobby, finding porn where the guy

looks like me. It's not difficult, you

just need to find a fairly skinny or

pretty skinny looking guy who has longish

black hair who wears glasses. He doesn't

even have to wear glasses. And, um, yeah,

we can make like a collection of porn

links where the guy looks like me and he's

having This is getting weird, isn't it?

So this, this funny thing happened

yesterday. It was just me and my

girlfriend in the apartment. It was her

day off, and 2 people rang the doorbell

yesterday. The first person, he rang the

doorbell, and then my girlfriend answered,

and he said he got the wrong place,

sorry, and then he, he left. And the

second time it rang, it was a bit

suspicious because we thought, we thought

it was some weirdo from 2chan. Pranking us

or something. And she answered the door

when it rang the second time, and she said

it was, it was a policeman. And then she

let him into like the main building area

because you have to unlock the front door

for him to get in. And then he

knocked on the door, on that door, and

then she went out, and then they had this

really long conversation. It was like 10

minutes, at least 10 minutes. And I was

panicking. I thought I was in trouble. I

thought he was here because of me or

something. But then it was 10 minutes and

they still were talking outside. And I

thought, if it was, if it was about me,

then surely the policeman must have— he

would have called me out by then to talk

to me. Why wouldn't he be talking to me?

So after about 10 or 15 minutes, my

girlfriend came back in and I said, what

was that about? What were you talking

about? And she said that he was doing

some kind of information gathering, like

he was asking her personal information,

like phone numbers and her name and stuff

like that. I thought it sounds weird.

When— since when did police just come up

to people's apartments or houses and then

start asking them personal information

like that? And I said to my girlfriend, I

said, are you sure it was a proper

policeman? Wasn't it— was it like a real

official policeman? Was it just some guy

dressed up as a policeman trying to steal

your personal information. She said she

was suspicious about it, and she kept

looking him up and down, and she said she

was pretty sure it was a real policeman.

I don't know, it just sounds really fishy

to me. I've never heard of a policeman

coming to people's houses and then asking

them for personal information like phone

numbers or names or other information.

Does that— does anyone else know if that's

a thing that happens in Japan or not? I

guess I was kind of worried about the

whole being reported thing. I don't know

how many of those weird Japanese people

from that 2chan message board actually

reported me to the police or to

immigration. I would love to hear the

conversation. What would they have said?

Um, hi policeman, there's a guy called

Daniel. Can you go and arrest him because

he makes YouTube videos where he says bad

things about Japan?

Anyway, it seems like that message board

has kind of died down. There's, there's no

activity on it from Japanese people since,

since I told you guys about it and since

you all spammed in the comments. Seems

like the Japanese people have abandoned

those 2 message boards that I linked. I

don't know if they started a new one

somewhere or if they've started a new

thread where they talk about one of my

other videos, who knows. I haven't had any

phone calls or emails from immigration or

the police, so it looks like they're not

taking any action. If,

if someone, if those Japanese people did

actually report me to them or not, I have

no idea if they actually did or not. I'm

guessing a few of them must have.

Oh, and, um, back in December I made a

video talking about how much I hate

TerryTV. On my secret channel, Gentleman

Reviews. And, um,

TerryTV left a comment on that video, and

he also made his own video reacting to

that video. And, uh, as you can expect,

that video is getting— well, my video is

getting loads of hate from all of his

hordes and hordes of 12-year-old fans.

And they're all coming over, they're all

coming over to my Gentleman Reviews

channel, and they're all saying horrible

things to me. And, um, it was pretty

funny, but at the same time, I kind of

regret not putting that video onto my main

channel because it would have been pretty

funny to, to get all that exposure

from a channel that has 800,000

subscribers. Would have been interesting

to see what, what kind of reaction those

12-year-old little kids would have to my

weird videos. But I think it was, it was a

good idea. It was a good thing that he

didn't, he didn't shout out my main

channel, and it seems like he only shouted

out my Gentleman Reviews channel because

that was the channel that I used to upload

the video. Anyway, it was a good idea

because, because my Gentleman Reviews

channel is getting like mass flagged right

now. I even got one community strike

because of misleading titles or something.

I'm getting it appealed right now. But I'm

pretty sure all of his 12-year-old fans

are just coming over to my channel and

then mass flagging everything just over a

silly video. The worst I said in the video

was that TerryTV looks stupid, and then I

said something about he looks too perfect,

he looks like a robot. So I complimented

him and they're still attacking me. I'm

under attack by hordes and hordes of

TerryTV fans right now. It seems like a

few people noticed that Gentleman Reviews

was actually me. They recognized my voice,

but the majority of TerryTV fans don't

actually know who I am, so they're all

going off to Gentleman Reviews and they're

attacking that channel, and hiding in my

room is completely safe. So maybe it was a

good idea not to, not to put that video on

my main channel.