i hate my relatives

It was him. You know yesterday I was

saying that I think I saw my uncle and I

served him? It was him.

How the fuck do you not recognize your own

nephew? Unbelievable.

I'll tell you about it later. I need to

get something to eat. And that video that

was getting a load of dislikes, I'm happy

to say The likes have outnumbered the

dislikes. I'm proud of you guys. You're

not all a bunch of idiots.

Congratulations!

Okay, so I might not be very close to my

uncles or my relatives, any of my

relatives to be honest, but I would have

at least have thought that if they saw me

in person and talk to

me face to face, and that they would at

least recognize who I was. I know it's

been a long time since I last saw that

uncle, but Jesus Christ,

I can't believe he didn't recognize me.

I'm, I'm your nephew, for fuck's sake.

Okay, so he didn't actually— we didn't

actually make eye contact. He was just

looking at his feet, looking at his credit

card and then entering his PIN code and

then walking away.

But it's not like he was— he had his eyes

closed. He walked up to the till. He would

have at least seen my face. I can't

believe it. I'm just so shocked.

It kind of hurt when, when old classmates

didn't recognize me, but Your own

relative, your own uncle doesn't recognize

you. I don't know, that kind of stings.

This is why I hate my English relatives.

Since I'm half, I'm mixed race,

I have 2 sides of family on the planet. I

have my English side and I have my

Malaysian side. And my Malaysian side,

they all live in Malaysia. And my English

side, they all live in England. And the

funny thing is, my English relatives,

they're not like relatives. They're just

like people that we know. They're not like

family. They don't come over. They don't

come and see us. We never see them. My

uncle lives over there behind those trees

in the house next to us, and we, we never

see them, not even once a year. It's so

It's so effed up. What kind of family is

this? What kind of family? My own uncle

stands right in front of me and I'm

serving him at my job and he doesn't even

recognize me. He doesn't recognize my

voice, doesn't recognize my face.

He didn't actually look directly into my

face, but still, you can tell if you know

someone if you're standing right in front

of them. He's not blind. I wasn't 100%

sure it was him when I saw it— when I saw

him. I just had like a gut feeling and I

kind of recognized him. He's different to

my other uncles. Me and my dad and some of

my other uncles are quite skinny, but he's

kind of chubby and he has like a big

beard, like a black and gray beard, and he

has like a reddish rosy face. He kind of

looks like my granddad. I think he got

more genes from my granddad. And, um,

let me just tell you what my family's

like. On my English side, I have 4 uncles.

One lives in Australia, the other 3 live

in the UK. And one of

my uncles fell out with my— with all the

other uncles because of money issues, and

we never see him or his family. The other

uncle lives right next door. And then the

second uncle is the one I'm talking about

yesterday, who lives fairly nearby but not

very near. And it seems like he was going

home, going home that way. I told my dad

about it and my dad said, yeah, he does

have a silver 4x4 and it does sound like

it was him. So I'm pretty sure it was him.

Anyway, when we were kids, we used to see

each other all the time. Our relatives.

We used to have family get-togethers

during Christmas where all the cousins and

uncles and aunties got together and we had

food. And they used to come over our house

all the time, and I used to play with my

cousins a lot. We used to play in this

garden. We used to play games like tag,

hide-and-seek. We used to make little

dens, especially in this little shed over

there. Let me show you this shed.

We used to play like camping and army

bases. We used to build little treehouses.

It was so much fun. I used to love it when

my cousins came over to play. And then

when we got to like 16, 17, started to

grow up, we just— it just stopped. We

didn't— we stopped seeing each other.

Cousins stopped coming over to play. We

stopped having family gatherings. I can't

even remember when the last Christmas

where we all gathered together and had— I

wonder when it was, the final gathering.

I don't know, but after that,

since after all the cousins grew up, we

just stopped seeing each other. We stopped

having family meetups and everyone just

kind of drifted apart. And I don't talk

to any of my cousins. Not even on

Facebook. I did send a message to one of

them once asking how they were, how's

things going. Didn't even reply. He just

ignored me. What a cunt was

what I thought. I felt so betrayed. We

were, we were like best friends when we

were kids. We played Xbox and PlayStation.

We went sledging and we did all these fun

things and now You don't even reply to me

on Facebook. What kind of cunt are

And, um, what else was I gonna say? Yeah,

the last time I saw that uncle from

yesterday was about 6 years ago. I

remember it clearly. We went over their

house for Christmas, just my family, not

anyone else, and we had Dinner,

sat by the fire. My dad talked to him,

my mum talked to my auntie, my sister

talked to my cousins, and I sat by the

fireplace on my own fiddling with my

phone. It was actually 2 months just

before I would go to Japan for the very

first time, and I had met this girl

online. I had met this Japanese girl

online. She was actually my first

girlfriend after Sayaka, which was the

online girlfriend, and I was kind of

obsessing over her. I had all these photos

on my phone. Anyway, that was the last

time I ever saw that uncle. Now, even when

we were kids and we went over to their

house to play with the cousins, I never

spoke to that uncle, not even one word.

He didn't even say like, hello Daniel,

nothing. I have 2 uncles that never speak

to me. They don't even say hello when they

come over. And the other 2 uncles,

they're alright, they say hi.

It's just my family, my relatives are so

weird. They're so socially awkward.

They're so boring. They're like super

traditional, typical English

people. And they are so— they're

so boring. They all grew up into really

boring people. From what I can tell.

I guess I just grew up into a weird

person. I just find all of my

cousins, all of my English relatives

mind-numbingly boring, and I don't want to

have anything to do with them.

Which I feel is kind of sad because family

should be important, right? Not just your

own family, but your relatives, uncles,

aunties, cousins. It feels— I felt

like I used to think that we would be

close, or at least be in contact with each

other. But no, it's just like nothing.

We're just like strangers, strangers to

each other. Even my own uncle doesn't even

recognize me. It's not that I

really care that much, but it just really

shocked me. I would have I thought

that he would have at least known who I

was. I know it's been a long time, but

Jesus Christ.

I'm pretty sure my Malaysian uncles would

have recognized me, definitely. They're

just so different. They're so— their

personalities, my Malaysian relatives,

they're so warm and kind. And it feels

like, feels like how family members should

feel like, not just like strangers that

you know. There's no

way my Malaysian uncles would walk up to

me and not recognize me, and they live

halfway across the world on the other side

of the planet.

My English relatives are just so boring.

They're so normal.

They're very traditional,

typical, not interesting at

all. I don't really know how else to

describe them. Most of them like sciency

stuff. One of my cousins likes geology,

studying rocks. How can you be interested

in studying rocks? That's the most boring

thing I've ever heard of. They're round

and they're hard. Who the fuck cares?

Anyway, everyone's very proud of him

because he's doing research for

space and, I don't know,

rock-related stuff. And then another one's

like sport-obsessed. He likes sports,

he likes hitting things. He likes hitting

balls with sticks, wooden sticks. Like

cricket and tennis. So boring. I hate

sports. And I don't even know what my

other cousins are doing. And one of them

was traveling around Asia, which is kind

of funny because it sounds like what I was

doing. But she's so boring anyway. I never

liked her. I never liked any of my cousins

apart from one that I used to play video

games with. But then he turned into like a

jockey, sport-crazed Sport-crazed,

boring person. There were no interesting

people in my life. But where are the

creative people? Where are the nerdy

people? Where are the geeky people?

Nowhere. Even my own family, we have

nothing in common. No one in my family

likes video games or photography or nerdy

stuff. Though boring.

Anyway, I think I've said enough about my

family, my boring English family

relatives. I have night shift tonight and

it's just me and just me and the Nepal

guy, and I'm a bit nervous. I don't want

to make him angry. I don't want him to

think, oh God, I'm working with Daniel,

I'm gonna have to do most of the work

again. I don't want him to feel like that.

I want to I want to do my part of the

work, my share of the work. I want to know

what I'm supposed to be doing, when I'm

supposed to be doing it. I don't want to

have to keep asking him, so what do I do

now? What do I do next? I don't want him

to be like, Daniel, you're sitting around

too much, can you do this please? I guess

I just want to be part of the team without

being a burden. I kind of have a fairly

good idea of what I'm supposed to be

doing. But it's just the timing and I'm a

bit slow. It's like, what do I have to do?

So I go in there, take in the flowers and

newspapers from outside, then I have to

count what's missing from the sausage

rolls and the donuts, then I have to

defrost them and cook, cook the pastries.

And then after a couple hours, after the

pastries have been cooked and cooled down,

then I start cooking the mini sausage

rolls. And then I, I put out the pastries

and let the sausage rolls cool, and then I

have to do some shop stuff, and then at 3

AM I have to cook the breakfast stuff like

the sauce— the bigger sausage rolls and

the other breakfast things. And then at 4

AM or half past 4, I have to cook the

breakfast sandwiches like the bacon,

bacon sandwiches, sausage sandwiches, and

that all needs to be done by 5 AM. So I

feel like I have a rough idea of what I'm

supposed to be doing.

But sometimes it gets a bit confusing,

especially when there are customers. When

there are customers in the shop, I can't

do the cooking or get on with the tasks

I'm supposed to be doing because you're

supposed to be behind the till when there

are customers. You can't just leave the

till unmanned.

So I hope tonight goes well. I don't want

this Nepal guy to become like an enemy of

mine. I want to get on with him.

I want to be reliable so there are no

complaints. Hopefully he won't go to my

manager, my boss, and say, Daniel's too

slow, he's not doing it properly, can you

fire him, get someone else? I don't think

he'll be like that. He's just a bit scary

because he's so serious and he

seems very strict, you know, not really

laid-back. I don't

know. Maybe he did recognize me,

kind of, but he wasn't 100% sure like I

was. And then maybe he went home and then

said to my auntie, his wife, you know,

I saw someone at the petrol station. He

kind of looked like Daniel, but I wasn't

quite sure, and he didn't even say hello

to me. How could you not even recognize

your own uncle? What kind of nephew are

you? He might be saying the exact same

things that I'm saying. Well, he probably

won't be saying it, he'll probably be

thinking it. That'd be kind of

interesting. Maybe we both recognized

each other kind of, but not 100% because

it's been such a long time, and we both

didn't have like the nerves to say, hey,

are you, are you Daniel? Are you, are you

my uncle? Maybe that's what happened.

Somehow I doubt it because he didn't even

look at me. I don't think he even realized

it was me. Even if

I robbed his house and the police captured

me, arrested me, and they put me on the

lineup, I don't think he would even be

able to point me out because he didn't

even look at my face. He doesn't even know

what I look like. I could have had, I

could have had you're a cunt tattooed on

my face and he wouldn't even have noticed.

It's kind of raining, that's why I'm under

this tree. I just wanted to say, trees

make amazing umbrellas, don't they? Look

at this. I'm under this tree and it's

raining and I'm not even getting wet.

See, this is why we didn't need umbrellas

when we were cavemen, because before we

chopped all the trees down for farming and

building, there would have been trees

everywhere. And when it started raining,

we would have just stood under a tree like

this. Natural umbrella. You don't need

umbrellas. We have— nature provided us

with umbrellas, but we cut 80% of them

down. So now we need umbrellas. Well done.

Well done, humanity. I thought it

would have been obvious that it was me.

He knows that I live in this area. He

knows where my family live. He knows that

I kind of look like an Asian person.

I'm the only Asian-looking person in like

a 10-mile radius of this area. Everyone

here are English, white. So put

2 and 2 together, I live in this area, an

Asian-looking guy, maybe it's Daniel.

Maybe I should say hello and not be, not

be some kind of stupid twat. But no, no,

that's my weird uncle. Never, you know,

I've never spoken to that uncle ever.

Yesterday was probably the first time I've

ever spoken to him, and all I said was,

any fuel? And that's,

that's £10.99 or whatever the price of his

fuel was. That was probably the first time

I've ever spoken to him, and I just think

that's just so, so depressing and sad.

I can't believe I've actually been able to

stick to this job for almost a month now.

I started on the 5th of September and now

it's— is it the 1st of October or the 31st

of September? It's always tough starting a

new job because you don't get paid until

almost 2 months later. I started on the

5th of September. I did get paid once this

month I only got paid for one day of work,

which is about £50, and I'm not, not

getting my next pay until the end of

October. So I started at the beginning of

September, not getting my full pay until

the end of October. That's a long time not

to get full pay. That's almost 2 months

without having any money to show

for all the hard work you've done.

Hopefully I should get at least over

£1,000 for my next payday, but I've

already spent it, haven't I? I owe my dad

a load of money for the iPad and because

he lent me some money to, to buy my plane

ticket out of Taiwan. I owe my mum some

money because she lent me some money to

buy a plane ticket to Japan, and then I

owe my bank money because I bought I

bought this camera and a bunch of other

things. Now I'm in minus— I'm actually at

minus £600 right now.

It's really bad, isn't it? I have no money

and I haven't even been paid yet. I'm in

negative money. I'm in debt to everyone.

My parents, the bank. I don't

care. I have everything that I wanted. I

have the camera. I have the iPad. I don't

really need any more money. Even if you

gave me £5,000 right now, I wouldn't do

anything with it because there's nothing

else I want to buy. I feel pretty

satisfied. My materialistic needs

have been fulfilled for now.

Anyway, I shouldn't have to worry about

seeing that uncle ever again or any more

people from school because I finished

training. I'm back on night shifts

permanently. Night shifts only from now

on. So unless any of my uncles are going

to come to the petrol station at 4 AM in

the morning, I don't have to worry about

those awkward situations. This is one of

the reasons why I didn't want to work up

at that petrol station, because I knew

this would happen. I knew I would— I knew

people I know would come to the petrol

station and it would be really awkward.

And they would A, not recognize me or know

who I am, or B, recognize me then say

hello, and then it'll be really awkward.

So either way, it's gonna be really

awkward. They recognize me, it's awkward.

They don't recognize me, it kind of hurts

me. You don't remember me? How could you

not remember me? I'm the most important

person in the world.

Anyway, I shouldn't complain. At least I

have a family, you know. At least I have

relatives. At least they're not crazy or

abusers. They don't take drugs. They're

not criminals. Yeah, they're a bit boring.

They're very normal people. They don't

really have mental issues that I know of.

They're very mentally stable. They know

what they're doing with their lives, from

what I can see. So I guess that's better

than having a family full of drug addicts,

criminals, thieves. So yeah, it could

be a lot worse, but I can always find

something to moan about. I can always turn

something positive into a negative thing.

Don't worry about that, I'm an expert at

that.

I really want to start working on my

webcomic. I've actually finished the first

page, which took a long time. I'm not sure

if I'm gonna release it yet. I think I'm

gonna get— I'm gonna finish at least 5

pages before I start posting it online,

because I don't like starting a new

webcomic and there's only one page

available. It's nice to have like a couple

of pages to get started with so people

keep reading. And first page, not really

much happens. I'm just setting the scene,

showing you who the character is. The

story's gonna kind of be like based off my

life, but it's gonna go kind of crazy and

there's gonna be supernatural elements,

and hopefully it'll be more interesting

than my past webcomic attempts.

Anyway, I'll let you know when I finish

the 5 pages. It might take a long time

because sometimes I feel really down and I

don't feel like drawing. But sometimes I

feel really enthusiastic about drawing and

I get loads done. So it's kind of

unpredictable. I don't know when I'm gonna

finish. It might be a few weeks, it might

be a few months. So anyway, I'll keep you

updated. Updated.

If you want to see my, my past webcomics,

I'll leave some links in the description

in case you're interested.