How I failed at everything in life [V_EsbiRSw5U]

I've tried doing a lot of things in my

life, and I feel as though I've pretty

much failed at everything that I tried or

wanted to become good at. So this is a

video basically documenting all of the

things I tried to become good at but

failed miserably. The first thing that I

really wanted to become good at was

drawing. I got hooked into anime and manga

when I was about 17, and I loved the art

style. I thought the girls were really

cute, and I think I spent about 2 years

obsessively drawing anime girls,

and I would just draw all day long. I had

this dream in my head that I wanted to

become some kind of famous artist on

DeviantArt. I used to follow this guy from

the Philippines or Thailand or someplace

in Asia, and he had a really nice art

style. He would draw these really cute

looking girls and he had millions or

hundreds of thousands of followers and

they all loved his artwork. And I thought

to myself, I wish I could be like that.

So I made a DeviantArt. I think it's

called Standard Oil. I don't know why. I

don't know why I called my DeviantArt name

username Standard Oil, but I did. And I

think I got about maybe 1,000

or 2,000 followers, but my art just never

really got very good. I was obsessed with

drawing these anime style anime girls,

and I used to think I was really good at

drawing anime girls, but I just couldn't

get any kind of attention on DeviantArt.

I just wasn't good enough to be able to

catch people's eyes and get people to love

my artwork. And I asked my dad, can you

give me some feedback on my artwork? And

then he started criticizing things like,

oh, you draw her arms too big and her

hands look too manly and this and that.

And I was so shocked that I was doing all

these things badly when I thought I was

doing them well. And I felt so unhappy

with the criticism I got, I kind of got

fed up with drawing and I just gave up. I

did try to make some kind of webcomic with

my own characters and my own story, but I

was never very good at coming up with a

story and my characters were all really

boring and the dialogue was just cheesy

and lame. I think I started a few

webcomics and I got to about 40 pages

in and then I just gave up halfway because

I didn't know what to do next with the

story. I got fed up with it. It was too

much work, took too much time, and I just,

I lost interest and I never finished any

of my webcomics. These days I don't really

do a lot of drawing, and when I do, I just

do these kind of weird-looking creatures

or monsters where I don't have to worry

about the anatomy. I don't have to worry

about if the hands look too manly. I don't

have to worry about facial features and

body proportions. I can just draw a

weird-looking monster and it doesn't

matter because it's supposed to look

weird. I guess that way it's easier than

trying to draw an attractive-looking anime

girl. So as you can imagine, I never

really made much money from my artwork. I

put Google Ads on my webcomics, made a

couple dollars in total, maybe $5 in

total, and I never made any money off

DeviantArt or from prints or commissions.

So yeah, that was a bit of a failure.

Number 2, the next thing I wanted to

become really good at was Japanese. So

after I got bored and fed up with trying

to become a manga artist, I thought I'd

learn Japanese because I've been watching

anime for such a long time. And I really

thought I was really good at Japanese

after studying it for about a year. I went

to Japan a couple of times and Japanese

people were always really nice and they

always said, oh wow, Daniel, your Japanese

is so jōzu. And for years and years and

years, I genuinely thought my Japanese was

amazing because everyone would compliment

me all the time. People who didn't even

understand Japanese would say, wow,

Daniel, your Japanese is so good. I mean,

how would you know if it's good or not

when you don't even know the language?

You wouldn't even understand. I could be

saying, boo ba boo bee boo boo, and then I

could say that was Japanese for I love

using my mop in the morning for cleaning

the floor. And then they'd say, wow,

Daniel, your Japanese is so good. Why

don't you get a job in translating because

you're so fluent? How would you know if

I'm fluent or not? You don't even speak

Japanese. So after studying Japanese for a

while, I took the level 2 JLPT test and I

passed that with a 95% pass rate. Rate.

And I thought, well, this was easy. I

could easily pass level 1 because I'm such

a pro at Japanese. And I took the level 1

JLPT and I failed miserably. And after I

failed the level 2— I mean, the level 1

JLPT test— I just kind of gave up on

studying Japanese and I never studied it

ever again. I thought to myself, well, my

Japanese level is good enough for getting

girls and looking for girlfriends and just

having basic conversation. I don't really

need to have advanced level of Japanese.

I used to have this of becoming a

translator or interpreter for some kind

of company or maybe doing it freelance.

And I guess I did get a taste of that. I

was doing translation gigs on Fiverr and

it was okay in the beginning. I just

translated simple comics and some

instruction manuals. And then people

started to offer me gigs, offer me jobs

for more complicated things like medical

documents and patent documents and they

offered me good money. And I said, yes,

sure, I'd love to do that. But as you can

imagine, I don't know anything about

patent law or about medical stuff, and I

didn't even understand the words in

English, let alone Japanese. And I just

put it all into Google Translate and I

copy and pasted Google Translate. That

worked for a few months. I made some

money, but eventually people found out and

my account got banned. The next thing I

tried to become good at, I was inspired by

coding and app developers. I thought those

people who made those really simple games

like Flappy Bird, they just made them in

their bedroom. They just did some coding

and then became really rich from making a

smash hit game. And I thought to myself,

I could learn coding. So I bought myself a

MacBook Pro all the way back in 2015, and

I started to learn how to code apps and

simple games using a program called Xcode

and And it didn't take me too long to

learn the basics. I understood how to make

a basic app with menus and buttons,

and I even made a few games, simple games,

kind of like a Space Invaders game with

zombies where you're a tank and then the

tank moves sideways left and right, and

then you have to shoot at the zombies. It

took me months to make that game, and

there were so many bugs I had to fix, and

I didn't really enjoy the whole coding

experience. I found it very stressful,

very time-consuming, I did manage to get

the game on the Apple App Store, but I had

to pay about £100 to become an Apple

developer. And then I decided that it's

not worth it. It's not worth all of this

hard work. I only sold about 10 copies of

the game for about $1.99, so I didn't

really make much money from doing it. And

I decided to cancel my Apple Developers

membership and they took my games off of

the App Store because of that. The next

thing I tried to become was an eBay

shop owner. I saw some shops on eBay where

they were selling Japanese items from

Japan to people in Europe and America,

and I thought, hey, I could do that. So I

went to Japan and I found an item that

sold pretty well, and I started selling

these Japanese knife sharpeners off of— I

bought them off of Amazon in Japan, and

then I sold them on eBay to people back

home in England. And it was doing quite

well until I ran out of stock. I bought

all of the stock on Amazon And I couldn't

sell. I couldn't send out any more of the

knife sharpeners. I got loads of negative

reviews because they were demanding their

money back and eBay banned me from selling

and my shop got closed down. I also tried

selling random trinkets that I found in

flea markets and I'd buy, for example,

a wooden box for £1 and then sell it for

£10 on my eBay shop. I kind of miss

selling stuff on eBay. The next thing I

failed at was being a good husband, I

guess. I got married in 2018 and it

started off well. I thought I was a pretty

good husband in the beginning. I did all

the cleaning and the cooking and I was

fairly faithful. But as time went on, I

started to get kind of bored and I

couldn't resist the temptations of other

women. I don't think I really have to talk

about the whole failure of a marriage too

much because You probably already know

about it by now. And then last but not

least, my most recent failure would be as

a YouTuber. So I had this dream

of becoming a YouTuber ever since 2015.

I thought, wow, making videos and making

money off of YouTube seems like such a

great way to make money. And I

always thought it'd be impossible because

I never thought I was interesting enough.

I didn't feel confident enough to sit in

front of a camera and talk. And express

myself. But after several years, I did

manage to become confident enough to make

videos, and I changed the way my voice

sounded so I didn't sound so dumb and

stupid like I did back in 2015.

And 2018, finally my channel blew up and I

got some viral hits, and that's how my

channel grew to the size it is today. And

I was so happy when it blew up. I felt

like finally all my dreams are coming

true. I got married, I moved to Japan,

I'm becoming a successful YouTuber making

good money. I thought the channel would

just keep on growing from there. I thought

as long as people found the channel, they

would find my videos interesting enough to

stick around. But I was wrong. 2 years

later and I've completely failed at

growing the channel. I failed at making

more viral content, even though I tried

really hard to make a variety of content

and I tried to make it as entertaining as

I possibly could, but it just wasn't good

enough. I wasn't entertaining enough. I

wasn't able to think of ideas or content

ideas that would go viral to keep growing

the channel. The channel just kind of

stagnated and I'm getting less and less

views. Every week and the future doesn't

look good for the channel. At this rate,

the channel is going to barely get 5K

views per video in, I don't

know, maybe even in a few months' time.

We're going to reach this point where I'm

struggling to get 5K views and that's

because I just don't know how to grow the

channel. I don't know how to provide the

content that people want to see. I'm not

willing to do the things that people want

me to do for their entertainment. I'm not

willing to completely destroy my life for

views and their entertainment. And I just

don't know how to attract a new audience

who would be interested in the kind of

content that I'm doing now. And it's just

a real shame because back in 2018, I

thought, wow, this is it. I've got my foot

in the door. My future as a YouTuber is

decided. I've learned that the hard thing

about YouTube isn't just getting viral and

growing the channel. It's also maintaining

the interest of the audience and to keep

on growing the channel. You can't just

rely on one viral or 2 viral hits and

expect that to sustain your channel

forever. So yeah, recently I'm pretty down

in the dumps because the outlook and the

future of my channel is looking pretty

bleak and I don't really see a light at

the end of the tunnel. I just see things—

I see things going downhill more and more

as time goes on, and I don't know how to

turn it around. I don't know what to do.

I don't know what kind of content I can

make that will get new people to the

channel and reignite the flame. I just,

I don't know. I feel like it's kind of

impossible at this point. I just feel

disappointed in the whole thing, to be

honest. I feel disappointed in myself for

not being entertaining enough to maintain

people's interest. I feel disappointed

that the channel just kind of came to a

halt and stopped growing. I feel

disappointed in the viewers because they

just lost interest so quickly and so

easily. Every time I release a new video,

it's just another, another disappointment.

When I look at the analytics and I look at

the ratings and the views, it's just

disappointment after disappointment. And I

just don't look forward to uploading

videos anymore because It's just, it's

just going to be another failure. Right

now I'm getting into investing and the

stock markets, and I've put £20,000 into

my investment account, and I'm doing a

mixture of dividend stock investing and

day trading, short trading, and I'm

probably going to fail at that too.

Actually, I've already failed at it

because I'm down. My accounts are down by

about £1,000, but that's because the stock

market is pretty volatile right now and

it's crashing hard. Hopefully it will

bounce back up after the election, but

time will tell. So yeah, that was, um, a

video about a few of the things that I

really wanted to become good at but failed

horribly. Hope you enjoyed it.

Hope you enjoyed watching me fail at life

and everything.