working on my log cabin

Mm-hmm.

Testing. Hello,

welcome back to my cabin.

Yeah,

yeah.

Perfect.

Why is my character black? Uh.

It randomly chooses your character's look

every time you log in. You don't get to

choose what you look like.

Right on the

thumb hole.

Mm-hmm.

His hand's coming out of his asshole.

Why RIP the Hong Kong guy?

What happened to him?

Did he finally get karma?

That's what you get messing with people's

Stupid baby

Oh my God, it's more stupid baby things.

Why— how do I miss every shot?

Hmm, what should

I've got this defensive tower network

Getting wet.

Hmm.

They always attack from over here,

so I put all the defenses here.

Base is looking pretty good.

Um,

this game is about building and surviving

and chopping down trees.

I'll show you my zipline network.

Goes up the river.

I'll show you where you zip line.

That guy Kelvin, he's stuck down there,

won't move. It's weird.

Then we can go further up

And further.

I think this is as far as I made it. I

couldn't be bothered going further up.

Can't see a damn thing.

I guess you could make it go up to the top

of the mountain, but that would take ages.

Can't be bothered.

Go to sleep.

They usually attack randomly.

I thought they only attacked at night,

but they attack during the day as well.

But my defenses take care of them.

They're so dumb, they just run into the

sticks. Why would

you run into the sticks? AI is not very

good. Yeah, I got a wall gate.

Put one down here.

Oh my gosh, naked! Oh my God, there's like

7! Jesus Christ, that's a lot.

Shut the gate, get up the tower.

Where are they going? They're just running

around in circles over there.

Idiots. They're so dumb, they don't cross

the river. Look, they'll go all the way

around the river over there.

See, look at them. Why don't they just go

over the river? Because I don't have any

traps here. 'Cause they never come this

way. No, I didn't get hand— like,

hanged either. They always come from

the front. Look,

they just jump onto the sticks.

Getting destroyed. Sometimes they come

from over there. But then they run around

and they come towards me from the front

like this.

It's annoying having to keep replacing the

sticks. They're all injured already.

I feel lonely. I killed Virginia by

accident, the mutant girl. She kept

following me and I was throwing grenades

at the mutants and then she got caught in

the blast. Calvin's stuck

over there. I'm all alone.

Why are these running around naked?

Would you run around naked if you were

stuck on this island?

Yes, I would, if everyone

else was naked.

I might as well put them out of their

misery.

Do you like a stick on the bum?

It's a woman! Drag her back to the base.

Ah, too late. Is that a woman?

Oh, where you go? Whoa, his body exploded!

Is that a woman? Hello?

That's a man. Don't want any stinking

men.

Uh-oh, actually this is a man too. Where

are the poops? Have some lunch.

Delicious.

Pick up the head, make it bleed.

Does the blood actually drip on the

ground? No, I thought

it would make bloodstains.

Where are the other ones? Oh, there's one.

I got some interesting weapons. Look at

this stun gun.

I want to stun him and then tie him up,

bring him back to the base.

What you gonna do?

Haha, idiot. Is he gonna drown?

Oh, that'd be so cool if he drowned.

Wait, I think he's dead.

Oh, he's still alive. Haha,

I wanted him to drown.

Wow, mistake. Oh,

he's still alive.

Why can't he get up? That's weird.

He's gonna have

to shat himself.

Why would he die?

Bye-bye.

Okay, I want to build— I wonder

if I can make a gate,

like a closed gate.

Yeah, I think I'm black from the sign of

my hands.

If I can put like a wall

across here like that, you make a

gate.

Excuse me.

Does the

sound even sound good? I can't be bothered

to plug my microphone in. I'm just using

the laptop built-in mic.

Don't really care.

Won't go straight.

It won't go straight.

Look.