why i cheated on my Japanese wife

Hello and welcome back to a new video.

Now I know we usually talk about games and

tech on this channel, but today I wanted

to talk about something I don't really

talk about a lot. I want to talk about how

I was married to a Japanese woman. How did

it happen and how did it end? So it's kind

of a personal story, but I feel like

opening up and sharing today. So it all

started back in 2017 when I was in Japan

for business reasons on a business trip,

and I was feeling kind of bored. And as At

the time, I was single, and I decided to

use Tinder. And it was actually my very

first time using Tinder. I never used

Tinder before because mainly I thought it

was kind of lame to have to use a dating

app to be able to get girlfriends. And

number two, I was kind of insecure. I

didn't really have much confidence about

my looks, and I didn't really think that I

would get any matches or any dates if I

signed up for Tinder. But I was very

wrong. And when I signed up to Tinder, I

actually managed to get loads of dates and

matches, and I was just meeting up with

all these Japanese women almost every day.

And then I go on this. Date with this

Japanese woman who'd eventually become my

girlfriend and then my wife and then my

ex-wife. So she was a 36-year-old Japanese

woman, very short and very small. It made

me kind of feel like a giant. I'm not

huge, I'm like 5 foot 9, but usually when

I'm in the West or in Europe or in the UK,

obviously there's loads of 6-foot-tall

guys and I usually feel very short. So

when I was with her, I felt like a giant,

which made me feel good because I like to

feel big and manly with a small tiny

woman. So we met up in front of Starbucks

in Namba in Osaka of Japan, and my first

impressions were I wasn't really instantly

attracted to her. I thought she looked

okay. I thought, well, at least she's not

fat and ugly and really old. She's only—

well, she was 8 years older than me at the

time. I was about 28, so she was 36.

There's quite a big age difference, but I

thought at least she's not like 45 or

something. She's not hideous. So I

thought, yeah, she's basically probably

one of the best looking matches I've had

on Tinder so far. I've had younger

Japanese girls matched on Tinder, but

they're all really fat. And I remember it

being kind of awkward, but she was quite

chatty and she was quite a confident

person, so she was quite good at

initiating conversations and carrying the

conversation. And I was kind of rubbish

because I'm always really shy and I kind

of suck at talking. Even in my own

language, I'm bad at talking, so talking

in Japanese was even harder. So we spoke

in Japanese basically the whole time

because I can speak Japanese, and we went

to a kushikatsu restaurant, which is

basically just a restaurant where they

serve you little pieces of meat that have

been deep fried and coated in breadcrumbs

and then put on a stick. So we went to one

of those and we were chatting, but I could

barely hear anything she was saying

because it was really loud and noisy. So I

was just nodding and smiling and

pretending to understand what she was

saying. I couldn't hear a damn thing. And

then we finished eating and I thought,

yeah, that went pretty well. I guess

that's the end. But then she suggested,

why don't we go to a bar? So we went to a

bar, went to a bar called Hub and had some

drinks. And again, I couldn't hear a word

she was saying because the bar was even

louder than the kushikatsu restaurant.

But I decided to invite her to a karaoke.

Now, usually if I like the girl and I want

to do my moves, I would invite them to a

karaoke, mainly because karaoke is a very

private and secluded place where you can

take a girl and there's no people around

you and you have privacy. And it's like a

dark, small room where you're very close

to the other person and you can touch

them. So we go to karaoke and nearly 2

hours go by, and unfortunately I wasn't

very confident, so I wasn't able to do my

moves. In fact, she was the one who

started the moves. So I was sitting on the

chair— well, it wasn't a chair, it's like

a sofa, a long sofa in a little square

room, and you've got a table in the middle

and the screen in the front where you sing

and you watch the screen to read the

lyrics. And she was sitting in front of

me, so I couldn't really do anything

because I was like behind her. But then

she puts her hand behind her to reach out

out to my hand, and that was like the

green light for me to make my move. So I

took her hand, and then we were like

touching, and then we start kissing in the

karaoke. And I thought, maybe we'll do it

in the karaoke, but she didn't want to do

it. She kept saying she doesn't do it on

the first date. So I thought, okay, fair

enough. But then we ended up spending the

entire night in the karaoke doing an

all-nighter. So we missed the last train,

and then we had to stay in the karaoke

until the morning. So we stayed in the

karaoke until around 5 AM, just kind of

singing. Then we got bored of singing,

then we just kind of didn't do anything,

I guess. And then we leave the karaoke and

we're holding hands at this point, and I

give her a kiss goodbye as she goes off to

the train station. And I go to my train

station and I'm feeling pretty good. I

felt like, yeah, that was a pretty good

date. I basically did almost everything I

wanted to do, and I'm pretty sure she

likes me enough to want to meet up again.

And we end up meeting again. This time,

the second time, on our second date, we do

actually do it. So the second date

happened at her apartment. Well, It didn't

begin in her apartment. It began at the

train station near her apartment. She

said, come to my train station, we'll have

ramen, and then we can go back to my

place. And then we finished ramen and we

go back to her place. And I guess that's

when the relationship officially started,

is when we became man and woman,

physically connected and also starting to

get emotionally connected. And that's kind

of when I saw her as my girlfriend. And I

guess she saw me as her boyfriend. At the

time I was living in this guest house.

It's kind of like a rubbish big building

where you stay in this tiny little rubbish

room. You got a shed. Kitchen, toilet,

and shower. It's not the best, most

pleasant, comfortable place to live in.

And I really wanted to leave the guest

house as quickly as possible. So I would

spend a few nights at her place and then

go back to the guest house and then go

back to her place the next few days to

spend the night and come back to the guest

house. And this continued for a few weeks

until I just asked her, can I just move

into your place? Because it'll be much

easier and I can bring all my stuff and

then we can spend every night together.

And then she said Okay, so I was really

happy because I got to leave the horrible

guest house, didn't have to pay rent

anymore, and I could just move in with her

and live for free and have like an

official girlfriend I can live with,

which was basically my main goal for going

to Japan. My, my only goal for going to

Japan would be to get a girlfriend and

hopefully move in with her and hopefully

eventually find a wife. Didn't really care

about anything else like the food, the

culture, traveling to tourist places.

Anime and gaming, don't really care about

that stuff. So many weirdos and losers go

to Japan because, oh, I love Pokémon, oh,

I love Waluigi and Mario. No, I couldn't

care less about any of that weeb stuff,

like gaming stuff. I grew out of that when

I was like 19, 18 or 19, and then my focus

has shifted towards getting girlfriend and

then getting a wife. So I finally felt

like it's been how many years? I started

going to Japan in 2010, it's now 2017. It

took like 7 years of testing out various

different Japanese girlfriends, but I

finally felt like I found one that could

be potentially a good wife candidate. So I

move in with her, and I guess the first

month or two were completely fine. No

problems, no arguing, and everything was

great. I felt like I finally found where

I'm supposed to be in life. But there's

one thing she doesn't know about me yet,

one secret, a dark secret that I kept very

secret, and that is that she doesn't know

that I'm a YouTuber. And I was making all

these vlogs and stuff talking about

everything, like all the dates I went on,

all the women I met, all of the problems I

had with people, and all the things I

found annoying about dates I had. And

yeah, I had videos about her where I

talked about her as well. So as you can

imagine, I wasn't really looking forward

to the day when she finds out about my

channel. So I started deleting a load of

videos, but by then it's too late.

There's too much stuff on my channel,

like livestreams, Twitch streams, Twitch

clips. I thought to myself, if she ever

found my YouTube channel, I'm pretty sure

things would be over between us because

it's pretty bad, the stuff that was on my

channel at the time. And also other people

had clipped and recorded stuff I said and

posted it onto various forums and stuff

like that, so I couldn't hide everything.

I just kind of crossed my fingers and

hoped that she would never find it.

Unfortunately, one day she comes home from

work and she looks like she just saw a

ghost. She's like all pale, her facial

expression is really serious, and So she

comes over to me and she tells me to

switch off what I was watching on YouTube,

and she looks really scared and really

serious, and her hands were kind of

trembling. She looks really nervous as

well. And then she just tells me that she

found my YouTube channel, and then I had

to kind of explain myself, and I just

said, uh, it's all satire, it's just

comedy, don't take it seriously. I say

some pretty weird stuff, but you know,

I'm just joking around. And Luckily, that

was enough to get her to calm down, and I

saved the relationship by lying, I guess.

And then after that, I felt this massive

relief because now I don't have to hide my

YouTube channel anymore. Now I can just

tell her about it and talk about it and

share my dream that I had of becoming a

big famous YouTuber. At the time, I had a

very small channel. I had like 4,000

subscribers. I'm not talking about this

channel. I'm talking about a different

channel, in case you didn't know. And my

channel is very small. I only had a few

thousand subscribers, only got like 2K

views most of the time. So I wasn't quite

there yet, but I felt like it was coming.

So I'm now quite excited to now do YouTube

with her. And after she was okay with

everything, she actually was quite

enthusiastic and interested in making

content with me and being in videos and

helping me explain and share my life in

Japan with my viewers. So things go pretty

well for the next month and YouTube

channel was growing. Everything felt

great. I'm really enjoying life in Japan.

And then one day she asked me if I would

be interested in getting married to her.

Because she wants me to stay in Japan.

She keeps asking me questions like, do you

think you could stay in Japan? Do you

think you could live in Japan? And I kept

saying, yeah, it's been my dream to live

in Japan since I was like 18 years old.

So as you can imagine, I was pretty

excited at the idea of finally being able

to move to Japan permanently, getting a

visa without having to get a proper job.

And yeah, I was really excited about the

idea of getting married. It wasn't my

idea, honestly. I didn't think she would

want to marry me after only dating for

like 2 months, and I already kind of had

plans in my mind to leave Japan after my

90 days and then go off to South Korea.

And then I don't know what would happen to

the relationship, maybe we'd do like long

distance, and then I'd come back to Japan,

we would meet up again. Really didn't

expect she would just suddenly bring out

the whole marriage stuff, but I kind of

liked her. I thought she was quite

attractive and she wasn't fat or ugly.

She was a bit older than me but not too

much, so I thought if I'm gonna get

married she's good enough. And also the

YouTube channel was really gaining

traction at this point, is really starting

to pick up, and I thought getting married

and permanently moving to Japan would be

great content. Imagine the views I'd get

if I made a video about how I'm getting

married and actually just staying in Japan

permanently. My viewers would love that so

much. So there were many reasons why.

Also, I didn't really want to go back to

my parents' house. I was getting sick and

tired of living with my parents. At the

age of 28 or 29. It's not really something

you want to do. It's getting kind of

annoying because they kept nagging me

about getting a job and nagging me about

this. I just felt like I'm permanently a

kid living in my parents' house. I don't

have any independence as a grown adult,

and I wanted to move on to the next step

in my life. So I thought getting married

would be a pretty good idea. So we decide

to get married, and we get married just

before my tourist visa expires. And around

the time we get married, my channel just

goes viral. I get this video, I make this

video about not having friends and it just

blows up and gets like 1.5 million views

and I'm getting 10,000 new subscribers

every day. I remember one day I went to

bed and I had about 20,000 subscribers. I

woke up the next day, I had like 35,000

subscribers. The subscriber growth, it was

insane. I never experienced anything like

that. I'd been doing YouTube for like 3

years and barely getting any views. I'd

get like 100 subs in a whole year on the

first or second year. And now I'm getting

like 10,000 new subs in a day. It was

insane and I couldn't believe it.

Unfortunately, the channel blowing up and

going viral, even though it made my dream

of becoming a big YouTuber come true and

made me loads of money, it kind of turned

me into a complete psycho. There's

something really weird about going viral

and gaining popularity and having some

kind of internet fame. It really kind of

messes with your head, and if you are not

a very morally good person, which I guess

I wasn't, it brings out the worst in you.

And if you're like a really good person

anyway, then it kind of just brings out

the best in you if you're a good person.

So it kind of exaggerates and amplifies

who you are deep down. And I guess because

I wasn't a very good person in the first

place, this whole fame, internet fame,

kind of just went straight to my head and

I grew this massive ego and all I cared

about was getting views on YouTube no

matter what the cost, no matter who got

hurt in the process. All I cared about was

views, views, views. I guess it's the same

no matter what the platform is— Instagram,

TikTok, Twitter, Twitch— but my case, it

was on YouTube. And I felt like I was a

god, like this famous YouTube god, and I

could do anything I wanted to and get away

with it. So in the beginning of the

marriage, things were pretty good. The

first few months were great, didn't have

any problems at all, barely any arguments,

really enjoying my new Life in Japan as a

Famous YouTuber. We're making content

together about, you know, just vlogging

life in Japan and talking about my

experiences living in Japan as a

foreigner. And they— these were getting so

many views, like 100,000 views, 150,000

views, sometimes 200,000 views on a simple

video talking about something like my wife

buys me clothing at Uniqlo. So I thought

the content was kind of rubbish and the

videos were really low effort and stupid

and pointless, but for some reason people

really seem to love me and they love my

channel. And this just went straight to my

head and inflated my ego even more. And

then to make matters worse, when you get

kind of popular on the internet, you get a

lot of girls interested in you because

they are attracted and drawn to your

success and the kind of charisma and the

aura you're now putting out because you've

had this massive success, and it kind of

shows. So I was now getting dozens and

dozens of pretty attractive girls

who are in their 20s who are quite

attractive now messaging me and flirting

with me and sending me nudes and saying

stuff like they want to meet up. They

didn't care if I was married, and I

couldn't say no because my whole life I

was just desperate to have like an

attractive young girlfriend, and I just

couldn't get a young girlfriend. All I

could ever get was like Japanese

girlfriends who were about 5 or 10 years

older than me. And now for the first time

in my whole life I was getting attention

from the girls that I wanted to get

attention from, and things got kind of out

of hand, and maybe I might have cheated a

few times. So I kind of got caught

cheating because I kind of made a video

about it. I thought if I make a video

about how I cheated, it would get so many

views. So I just make a video and I just

bust myself when I could have just kept it

a secret, I guess. But it was getting hard

to keep it secret because there are now so

many fangirls that I was cheating with,

and there was quite a lot of cheating.

But for some reason, the cheating wasn't

the reason we got divorced. And even with

the cheating and the fighting because of

the cheating, I always managed to

apologize and say I'll never do it again.

And somehow the marriage managed to last

for nearly 2 years. For about a year and 6

or 7 months was how long the marriage

lasted until she finally had enough. And

she just said, I'm fed up. I'm not happy

with you. Let's get divorced. And at that

point, I was also not very happy. I felt

really bored. I felt kind of miserable

because I was stuck in Japan. I couldn't

just meet anyone I wanted to whenever I

wanted to. The content was starting to dry

up and I felt like the viewers were

getting bored. So I also thought and

agreed getting divorced would probably be

more interesting for my channel than if I

just stayed married. So I just said,

okay, let's get divorced. At the time,

she was at work when she messaged me this

and I just packed my bags. And I left and

I booked a ticket to go to South Korea and

I just got on the plane and left and I

didn't see her ever again. The divorce was

pretty easy. She just sent me some

messages on Facebook and she said, here

are the divorce papers. And that was it.

And then we were divorced. There's no

legal process, no lawyers, no legal fees.

Didn't have to pay anything. She just went

to the town registry place, signed the

paper, showed it to me, and that was it

really. And then we got divorced. And I

didn't really regret it at the time

because I thought, okay, now my

adventurous life, meeting all these women

and having all this drama and all this new

content for my channel is going to be

great. I am now completely free, not

shackled by marriage. And then at this

time it was 2020, and then the stupid

COVID thing happened and I had to go back

to the UK, and then lockdown happened,

and then Japan closed its borders. Travel

became really hard to do, and my channel

kind of died because it was just hard to

meet people and hard to travel, and I

became depressed, and I just didn't really

have the spirits, like the fighting spirit

that I once had in me anymore. And that

was just kind of like the beginning of the

downfall of everything.