Birthday Stream

But it doesn't move the same. Why is it

like that? It's not— it's, um, it's

delayed. That's annoying. Yeah.

Thing. No,

let me see. That is horrible.

My birthday!

Happy birthday, Daniel! Where's my light?

No, don't turn the sound on. It will echo.

Yeah. You can see the chat, can you? This

is awkward. Okay, you talk. No,

why should I talk? You're supposed to talk

to them. I don't know what to say. It's

your people.

My new love doll. No, his love

doll is in the closet. I saw it.

Mhm.

It's my birthday.

Is this the girl from the trampoline

thing? Yeah, she's the girl from the last

video when I went to London.

Is she getting paid? No,

but she's getting a free room. He gave me

food. Free room and food and free cake

today.

Do you want to answer their questions?

I'm shy. You're used to this,

I'm not. But I don't usually do it with

people. I I usually do it by myself. Then

you say weird shit. Yeah. Just say weird

shit now. I can't think of anything.

Speak Netherlands. Spreek Nederlands. Ja,

ik kom uit Nederland. Ik kan gewoon

Nederlands praten hoor. What? What'd she

See, people already know. People already

know you're Dutch. Wait, did you put it in

the description? Maybe. Did you? I don't

think so, because otherwise how would they

know? I might have mentioned you before.

I just put birthday stream.

I'm from the Netherlands.

Tell them about yourself. No, what to say?

My name is— should I say my name? Maybe

not. Maybe I shouldn't. Don't say your

name. My name is a secret. I'm 25 years

old. I'm from the Netherlands. I was

living in Korea and now I came to visit

Daniel. Yes,

short description. We were gonna meet in

Korea, but then I left and my ticket got

I don't see any questions.

Oh, Sam said happy birthday. Is that $5?

I don't know. What's the CHF? What is

5.00? Have a beer. We're gonna have beers

later. Yay! We're gonna

pick my sister up in an hour.

Why you say poor girl? I'm not poor.

Happy birthday, Daniel. Have a beer.

Oh, very kind. Maybe I have coronavirus

and maybe Daniel has coronavirus because

he was coughing all day yesterday. I

always cough after I have a shower. Liar.

How many times have you done it? We

haven't done it. We're saving ourselves

for marriage. Yes.

We're pure.

Look, this guy hates me. This Desert Rose

guy. What did he say? He's been commenting

for years. Why do you choose someone who's

going to the whores and cheated on his

ex-wife? Is he fluent? Uh, yeah, seems

like it. Is he from your country? Maybe.

This guy, this Desert Rose guy, he's been

commenting for years. And I banned him

like 2 years ago, but it looks like he

didn't notice. I unbanned everyone

recently, and then the people I banned

years ago were still commenting. They

didn't even realize that they got banned.

I'm shy. I'm getting nervous.

Talk about— maybe I should leave the room

and you can just talk to them and I can

sit with your mom.

What did he say now? He said yes, I'm from

Netherlands. Oh really? Your country?

Why are you hating on Daniel?

I'm gonna kick you. I'm a good boy.

Does she really like Daniel?

Maybe. How did you find my channel? Um, I

don't know. I think it was just in my

recommended. The video when I got married?

No, I'm not sure which is the first video

that I saw. It was before that, but it got

in my recommended and I thought like, oh,

this guy's weird, and I liked it, so I

followed. Am I still weird? A little

bit, but it's good. Stop flipping this.

No, but I cannot sit still.

Sit still.

What did he say? I don't know. Here.

He misuses people. Me? Yeah. I misuse

people? No, how do you say that? I use

people? Yeah, you use people. No. I'm

using you for views.

Give me money! I gave you food.

True. He bought me Korean food. It was

very expensive. Yeah, I got you. Daniel's

generous. And I paid for the hotel.

Okay, we had cereal, guys. It's not a

secret anymore. We got exposed thanks to

this motherfucker. I think they already

know. It's not my 38th birthday,

Daniel. I'm 31. Liar!

I saw your ID card.

31. Old boy.

No, I'm 15,

about to be 16 in September.

Uh-huh.

I'm grooming you.

No, she's here. Someone asked to

live for a few years until she's of age.

What? Someone asked, what did you

do in the karaoke? Tell them what

happened. Do you want to tell them what

happened? Yeah, because now they already

know, so you can say. We went to a karaoke

in London so I could do my moves, which I

didn't know. I thought you just wanted to

sing. And then we were kissing in the

karaoke, and then this man just came in.

We didn't call him to come in, he just

came in, and then he stood at the door and

he was staring at us. And then he kept

saying, are you guys alright? Are you

okay? And then he said, this is karaoke,

okay? This is karaoke. And then he walked

out. It was so weird. He was

watching us on the camera. He's jealous.

I was so confused. We were just kissing,

what's wrong?

Ik ben gestopt met school, maar ik deed

motoropleiding. What? Someone asked

me what I did for school. Ah. I said I did

fashion school and then I stopped. Oh, I

thought you said motorbiking. No.

Oh, thank you. Caesium, 41st birthday.

And thank you, Carrie B.

It's nice to see you happy, Daniel. Happy

birthday! Yeah, I feel very happy. Thank

you. Happy birthday! A lot of people are

giving you money. You should be happy.

See you later. Yay!

Is this legal? What? I'm grooming

her. Ella, ella, ella, ella. Do you know

what grooming means? Yeah, when I'm a

child. I thought you didn't know what it

meant. I'm not stupid. I'm not really.

Ik ben vijf twintig.

Just saying my age. Are people upset

because I didn't go to Sweden? Look, I

still have this. Donation goal. Yeah. I

don't know if I'm gonna go to Sweden. All

of Europe is shutting down and locking up.

Then you're stuck in Sweden. Oh wow,

11 days to go. Wait, were you gonna go in

11 days? I was gonna go at the end of

March. So yeah, but now France is shutting

down. Spain shut down. Germany is gonna

shut down. So I don't know about Sweden.

Oh, we can stand up next to each other.

And then? Because they think you're taller

than me. Daniel's slightly taller,

but this doesn't help anything. Okay, let

me move the camera.

See, I am taller. He's standing on his

toes. I'm not. This is my toes. This is my

toes. So even when you tiptoe, I'm taller.

Hmm. She's wearing big shoes.

How to put it down? Like this.

I'm 5 foot 9,

175. I don't know what that means.

175 Centimeters is five foot eight

point eight, so I round it up five point

five foot nine. She's taller. No,

I'm taller. I'm stronger. Yeah, maybe

she's stronger. If you watch Daniel's

video, you can see I won three times. I

let you win. You didn't.

Is she white? I'm half Dutch and half

Brazilian, so I'm half Dutch. I mean, I'm

half white and I'm half black. Aren't

Brazilians white? They're Latino. My mom

is like brownish and my grandma's black,

so let's just say I'm half black since I

said white. How can your grandma be black?

Yeah, but she's like kind of from Africa

maybe. But you're not black at all. But my

mom is brown and she has curly hair. She

looks like a Brazilian woman. But you're

not brown. I look like my father. You look

like— I don't know what you look like.

I'm not very white. Look, see,

I'm darker than you. It's hard to tell.

No, look. Oh, thank you, T-Pop Fever.

Do I miss my wife? Not really.

Maybe she's watching.

Some people thought you were Asian. No,

I'm not. I lived in Korea for 5 years.

I already hate her.

Do you hate me, Daniel? No, that guy said

he hates you. She doesn't

like you either. Daniel's finally

with a Black girl. She's not black. Sim,

falo falar um pouquinho. Meu mãe é

do Brasil.

Can you speak Portuguese?

Can you speak your mother's language?

Yes, a little bit.

Hmm. How crazy am I from one to ten?

I don't know. You guys are the judges.

Why are you showing your feet? I don't

know what to do. Get more donations. Did

you meet in Korea, YouTube or Tinder? She

watches my channel. Yes. We actually— you

found me on Tinder though. Yes, I did.

She found me on Tinder as well, but she

knew my channel from before and we were

chatting before and we were going to meet

in Korea, but then I left. I already said

that, didn't I? Yes, you did. Is Dutch

girl's hair smoother than Pia's?

Yes, it's very soft. He keeps smelling it.

Don't tell them. Her hair smells

nice. Her hair smells very nice.

Omdat ik voor vijf jaar in Korea heb

gewoond. En ik zat op een allergetone

school. How come there's so many Dutch

speakers here? Look, this guy as well.

What did he say? If you look at his

channel, why did you contact him? Yes,

why? Because I like weird people. She

likes weirdos. I don't trust normal

I didn't know I had so many Dutch-speaking

viewers. Yeah, what the fuck? Oh, Bradley

Cox. Thank you. The sheets are too white.

The sheets are the whitest thing in this

room.

Daniel's jumper off. I washed it a

few days ago.

Half Dutch. The bedsheets look too white.

Urinate on bedder.

Urinate on me. What? No golden

shower. Oh,

moving.

They said we love you, Daniel, in Dutch.

Who? There. We houden

van je, Daniel. We houden van je, Daniel.

Oh. The J isn't pronounced like a J. No,

yeah. Why do so many countries pronounce J

as an H? Me gusta nachos

muchos muchachos. Is your mum home?

Should we bring my mum? Yes. No, no. His

mum is downstairs. Too noisy. She's really

noisy as well. My mum's even noisier.

Would I use Dutch girl for visa? I don't

need one, do I? UK visa as good.

Brexit hasn't happened yet. I can still

stay there in her windmill.

Does your mum know you have a girl over

the house? No, he's hiding me in the

closet. She only comes down at night.

She knows, but my sister brought back

loads of guys. How come I'm not allowed to

bring back girls?

This person. Dutch girl for visa. No more

visas. Wait, didn't that question just

appear there? It's really slow though.

They send the super chat and then it takes

like a minute, 20 seconds until it does

the text-to-speech. Aren't you afraid of

corona? Not really, because everyone's

isolating and there's barely anyone

outside anyway. I mean, we just went to

the supermarket. Yeah, we went to the

supermarket and there was loads of people

buying everything.

My logic is since there's hardly anyone

outside, that means it's safe to go

outside because there's less people.

True. Everyone else can isolate. We'll go

outside and have fun.

I don't understand how you can do this and

be calm. I do this for eight hours

straight. It's only been twenty minutes.

We'll do it for about an hour, I think,

and then we're getting my sister because

her company closed down as well, so she

has to work from home.

You guys are 6 years apart? Yes. Yes.

No, 5. 5, because I become 26 in

September. So you're 1994?

Yes. My sister's 1992.

Where's the birthday cake? It's

downstairs, but it's huge and I don't feel

like eating it right now.

How was the sex? Wait, did you just read

that in Dutch? Is it Dutch? Yeah, I

thought it was just English, but they

spelt it all wrong. No, it's Dutch.

That's how you write it. Is that what it

means? How was the sex? Yeah, is that how

you say sex?

Yeah.

Dutch girl, is Daniel's sausage smelly?

I don't know, I didn't smell it. She

hasn't put it near her face yet. Yet.

Actually, you did. I did!

Don't you remember?

What were people saying in the— in our

video? They kept saying that you were

being mean to me, saying I'm short. I'm

very nice to Daniel. I'm just stating the

facts. She was just teasing. Her heels are

like this big.

Wow.

What else did we do? We didn't do much.

We made a tea from the garden. No, I meant

in London. Ah, in London. Oh, thank you,

Susan. Korean food.

Pia rejected me.

You know the girl in my last video, the

one— this— the fan I slept with? I

messaged her asking if she wants to meet

up. She said no. She said she has a

boyfriend now and she didn't want to risk

the relationship for me. Poor Daniel

got rejected by everyone. Apart from you.

Maybe I'll reject you in the future.

Maybe, maybe soon, maybe tomorrow. It's

okay, I'm used to rejection now. I'm

taking all the groceries. No.

Say something. I'm waiting

for the Super Chat. Spreading our German

pride. Für unser Alfa-Volk. Who's German?

You're not German, are you? I'm not, I'm

Dutch. Aren't they the same?

No, it's not the same, it's different. I

mean, basically the same. They sound the

same. But all people are the same, just

the languages are different.

Yeah. So Dutch

girl is visiting you for accommodations.

Free accommodation. Yes, free

accommodation. No cereal for Daniel.

No, I'll kick you out.

Fuck you.

Why don't you take off your coat? It's

not— I'm not wearing a coat, I'm wearing a

hoodie. She's wearing my clothing. And

this— that's mine. I know.

What's the Dutch girl doing in England?

Visiting Daniel. Oh, she came all the way

Is she a K-pop weeaboo? No, I don't listen

to K-pop. Really? Anymore.

You used to be? Yeah, long time ago.

Maybe 4 years? Ex-Koreaboo and ex-weeaboo.

What happened at karaoke? Is she a K-pop

Koreaboo? We had loads to drink in the

restaurant and then we went to karaoke and

I sang Bare Necessities. It was good.

It was horrible. What?

The bare necessities. Da da

da da da da da.

You don't even know it. You've never seen

Jungle Book. I've seen it, but a long time

ago. Like when I was three.

Hmm.

Oh wow, 2 in a row.

Wait for the text-to-speech, I'm too lazy

to read it. Go forward. Why are you

in the back? You're the main character.

You're the star of the stream. No, I'm

not. You have to sit there. Oh, I don't

want to be too close so my head

looks smaller. How does it feel to be

friends? Once again, I'm not friend-zoned.

Thank you, Oliver. Daniel is simping Dutch

girl. W O W W W W W

Pia is better. Pia rejected me.

Yes, I'm here for clout. Maybe I'll make a

video. My fan rejected me.

I'm not a fan. No, no, not you. Not you,

Pia. Who is that? Is that the one I met in

London? The last video? Yeah, I met her

last year.

It's the video we talked about. Which one?

Why I would like to have cereal with

Daniel. Oh, that Asian girl.

Yes, I have been to Brazil. Why are you

shouting? Yeah, why are you shouting?

They're shouting. It's in caps lock. Oh,

what about the Finnish girl? I don't know,

depends if I end up going to Sweden or not

after I leave Daniel. I'm not sure.

It's hard to plan anything now.

I sleep in the garden. We'll get

a tent. We want to sleep in

the shed. We should. The shed's falling

apart. It's okay. It will collapse on us.

Like our relationship. Our relationship's

as stable as that shed. You're dating

your fans like Onision. Well,

I have to date someone. I'm not getting

any matches on Tinder. You can date your

love doll. She doesn't talk to me.

How does it feel to look like a simp now?

No cereal. What is a simp? It's this new

word people are using. Simp. Weird. I'm

not sure what it means, to be honest. Is

it kind of like a nice guy? Slash cock.

Chimpanzee.

No. We are in a friendship.

Oh, thank you, Boris. Dutch girl, did you

dominate Daniel during cereal? He likes it

if you choke him while screaming that's my

name. He what? Maybe I should try

tomorrow. Squat on his cereal stick. No,

I like it when your ass is in my face.

Squash it. I like the smell of

ass. Ew! You didn't see that video? No, I

didn't. Oh, that's good. It looks like

Daniel has a smelly fetish. Maybe.

So you didn't see my worst videos? I

should watch some more. We should watch

together. I delete them.

What did this person say? That's German.

Oh, I have no idea. I thought

you said you understand German. No, when

people speak, not when they write. Oh,

are you still married? No, I'm divorced.

Maybe you can smell her underwear. I

already did. You didn't! I did when

you were sleeping. No, he jizzed on them,

probably.

Daniel, maybe you can smell her underwear

like past.

4 videos later, my problem with the Dutch

girl. She'll let me have one as a gift.

A panty? Goodbye gift. You give me one.

No. Yes.

Mm-hmm. How was the dentist? Oh yeah, I

went to the dentist and it was fine. He

said there's nothing wrong. I just need to

go to the hygienist to get some cleaning

done, and I was supposed to go tomorrow.

No, today. Wait, today's Friday. I was

supposed to go today, but they cancelled

my appointment because of this stupid

you-know-what virus.

See, I told you my teeth were fine.

People kept saying, oh, if you go to the

dentist, you have to have so much work

done. He said my teeth were really good

considering I haven't been to the dentist

in 16 years. He just said they need a bit

of cleaning from the hygienist.

Oh, thank you.

Shin will be fine. Maybe.

Pia's fake wig is better than your ugly

hair. Thank you. No, I like her hair.

It's soft and real.

Yeah, I support her. I like real hair.

She doesn't like norms.

Yes. Are you a normie? Maybe not. I don't

think she is. I don't think anyone is.

I tried to smoke weed. Wait, am I allowed

to say that? I think you can. You said you

tried everything. Yeah, actually I tried

everything. All the drugs. She's a drug

addict. Yes.

Would I still smash even if she had an

STD?

You already catch chlamydia.

I don't think I would. If I knew that

I would get something, I probably

wouldn't. Were you mad that you got

chlamydia? I wasn't angry. She didn't know

she had it. Would you still smash even if

she had an STD? I'd use a condom.

You should always use a condom.

No, I don't want to. It's my birthday.

Sounds so stupid. Birthday sex. I had

breakfast in bed.

Oh, thank you, Aldo. Why isn't it reading

out? It'll read out here. There.

Happy birthday, Bray! It's mine too. Can

you sing for me? Also, stop trying to have

cereal with my girlfriend. Happy birthday

to you! To us! Is it really your birthday?

She won't let me do doggy style. I'm

vanilla. She only lets

me do missionary. No, we did other stuff

too. We did sideways stuff where

I don't have to be on top. I don't like

doing the work. I don't like the girl

being on top, actually. Really? Yeah.

Why? It's hard to get the angle correct.

The angle feels strange. I like being

on top.

Wow, we've got 700 viewers.

700 people came to my birthday party. Oh

my goodness,

it's the biggest birthday party I've ever

had. Wait, how many viewers did you have

on your last birthday? Did I stream last

year for my birthday? I don't remember.

You're always streaming. Oh, it was my

dad's funeral last year on my birthday.

On your birthday? Well, the day after. So

I wasn't really in the mood. I did a my

dad died stream. And then TerryTV came

on and he was complaining, saying you

shouldn't be accepting Super Chats.

Doing a stream about your dad who died.

So many people got upset saying I was

using him to get money. I wasn't using

him.

And if people wanted to give the

donations, then it's their choice. If you

don't agree with it, then you don't have

to. Silly people saying

that I'm bad for streaming after my dad's

funeral. I can do what I want. Yes, you

can.

See, Dutch girl, you have another

boyfriend. I don't have another boyfriend.

Really? You have one waiting in Korea.

No, I don't. That's why you're so Such a

rush to get back. No, I'm not rushing.

Maybe a little bit. No, Terry didn't

do a video on me, but he was in the live

chat last year complaining, and then he

messaged me on Twitter saying he didn't

think it was right. I'm thirsty. Oh,

where's the juice bottle? Happy birthday,

Daniel! Oh, thank you, Jack.

She's gone.

Ask me a secret question quick before she

When is her birthday? I don't know.

We bought loads of food. I spent £120 on

food. I got

noodles. She's coming back.

Shh.

Did you say anything bad about me? No, I

didn't have time.

What'd you say? Is she the the hottest

you've been with? Don't answer!

Yeah, I think she's very attractive. I

would rate her— No!

Your mom's screaming.

What was the shouting?

Come. Everyone wants to see you.

They can't see you. You're in trouble and

need the police. Oh my God, you're sharing

drink with that Daniel? Yeah, Mila, we're

lovers. You're sharing drink with that?

That Daniel, he might got coronavirus.

No, it's too late now.

Do you want some Corona? Oh my God,

Daniel might got it from you.

Never mind. Did you have cereal or not?

Yes, we already said yeah. Blink if you're

in trouble. I need the police. She's safe,

don't worry. I'm looking after her.

Oh, they know your name now. She was

shouting it. Oh no, my mum

doxxed you. Oh shit,

what? My mum, my mum, my mum. What? I'm

sure they can't find me. You said her

name. Oh sorry, we're keeping it secret.

Sorry, Helen.

Helen, what are you doing there? Helen,

you know this is my second— oh shit, how

That's her middle name.

Yes, that's her middle name. But it's okay

because yeah.

Happy birthday to you, Daniel.

Your birthday. Are they gonna give you

some money? Yeah, they're giving me lots

already. Is it? Tell them your birthday.

Mom gonna kick you out if you don't pay.

They gave me $1,000. You're lying.

Let's just start paying.

The chat's going so fast.

Can I get it in with Cami? No,

she's not accepting boyfriend

applications. I will review them first.

Can I get it in with Cami? Tomorrow I'll

come back. I'm gonna

meet my blind date. Who? Not telling you.

You're not allowed to meet men. You shut

up! You bring home a stranger, I'm gonna

bring home more strangers. Who do you

think you are? It will be a homeless

convention. Danny, who do you think you

are? Your mum.

I brought back a strange girl from London

after meeting me one time. Daniel,

you found your wife not even 5 seconds.

You have a woman. Search.

Oh, poor Chihiro.

Can they hear her? Can you hear her? I

hope so. Chihiro! Moving on.

Chihiro, bye! Oh my God.

Oh, thank you. Maxter Tinger

X. What does that mean?

Who's taller? I'm taller by about 5

centimeters, and his head is bigger. Huh?

It's not big. Yes, it is.

Why are you hiding your head? I'm

measuring it. I'm comparing the size. It

doesn't work like that. Look, look, you

can see it on the camera. My head is

smaller because I'm closer.

Look, same size.

You're weird. I'm measuring.

Is she aware of what you do in your

channel? Yes, I saw almost every video.

I talk about people. Oh no.

Oh wow, thank you, Jack. Ten dollar. One

thousand pennies.

Here is one thousand pennies. Happy

birthday. Ha! Somebody say happy birthday.

Someone donate saying Daniel's mum is

stupid, and I'll put the volume up.

See what she says. No! See what she says.

Can we show up at your home to meet me,

La Helen? Oh no, they know your name.

It's not exactly my name. Yeah, it's not.

Almost. It's her fake fake name. She's got

a fake name and then a fake fake name.

And then a real name. I need a fake name

as well. Yeah, you just— I'll be— who

should I be? Chris. Chris Evans.

Wait, isn't that an actual person? Yes,

it's the guy who does Top Gear. Daniel

Groom Healer. Grooming.

Chris Hansen will be after me next. Do you

know Chris Hansen? Chris Hansen? Ah, the

pedophile catcher. Yeah. The guy

investigating Onision.

Japanese schoolgirl stalking video. What?

I never stalked anyone. We're walking in

the same direction. Stupid.

Daniel, Mommy's stupid. Horrible. Oh my

God, Daniel is lucky. To have

such a nice mom.

I can play it again. Even Japanese

schoolgirl stalking video. What's Japanese

girl? She hear

everything. Daniel's mom is stupid.

I asked you.

It wasn't me who said it,

it was Nicholas.

No, give me the house.

I'll buy it off you.

And this all new.

I'm still waiting for P. Oh no,

what? I hope you— wait, it's coming. Is

she still there? I hope so.

I can't hear it. Why is it so slow? It's

too late. It will play. So slow.

I think she's gone now. It won't show up.

Usually it doesn't take that long. Hmm,

maybe it was too gruesome. She doesn't

really hate me, she just says stuff like

that. She's funny. I think she's joking,

right? I don't know, I'm pretty sure she's

joking. Oh, there it

is. Oh, it skipped the other one. How old

is Mila? What? Yeah, I don't know why the

other one didn't play. I'm 26 almost.

Oh, there it is. Daniel's mom's boot

why smells bad? But it says boot why.

Yes, she said, what does that mean?

Women saying about me.

She's sitting

on it. Does she

want it back? No.

Is she a paid actor? Maybe.

You'll never know. I got her a fiver

to act in my videos.

Not— I never paid anyone.

She's obviously not 26. Almost 26, I said.

But this person says you're obviously not

26. How old do you think she is?

Thank you, Ton X Nut.

Very kind. What should

I do for my birthday? Eat the cake.

I will.

Daniel adopted me. They think you're 16,

13, 15, 14, 17, 18, 12.

How old do you think Daniel is?

Where is Mila from? I'm from the

Netherlands. All the questions are the

same. Yeah, that's what life is, just

repeating. Just have to answer the same.

Milo, will you cereal with me if I pay you

money? No. How much money?

Who said that? Teapot Fever, naughty boy.

Daniel, say hi to your mum for me. Face

blowing a kiss, Mila. If you get bored in

Kent, this is the guy who came to our

house. No way! He talked to my mum.

Come visit. No,

no friends allowed on my birthday.

He asked you to come to Bristol and hang

out with him? No, no, she's mine. She's my

girl.

Don't hold me. No sharing.

What's your ethnicity? I'm half

Dutch and half Brazilian.

I think she has some Native American as

well. Get And some Italian and some

African. Can I have her next for a fiver?

She's probably more mixed than I am. My

fiver is too expensive for you to pay.

I'm an expensive girl. Can I have her next

for a fiver? No, she does not do such

things. Have respect for your mum, she

lost her husband. I lost my dad,

respect me too.

I literally just answered the question.

She just answered. Should I answer again?

Half Dutch, half Brazilian, and then

12%-ish. I got your address from Postbin.

We are showing up. No, no one's allowed.

Have respect for your mum. She lost her

husband. We're just joking.

Does Mila have any tattoos? Yes, I do.

A few. Do you want to show? Should I show?

Show the one on your wrist. I can show

these ones. Daniel will probably sell her

for the right price. That one. Put the

light here. Wait, I have this,

that.

Yeah, that's it. Yeah, the other one is

there. The other one's in a naughty place.

Pick up your sister soon. Yeah, we have to

go soon, in about 20 minutes.

Oh, I don't want to go. Why? I like

driving in the car. It's going to take 2

hours. We can put some music. We have to

drive all the way to London, pick up my

sister, and then come all the way back.

But you're just sitting. Otherwise we're

just sitting downstairs. But we can relax.

We can look out of the window.

We can have cereal. My mom— you've got

enough cereal today. Fine. No, my mom

is Brazilian, my dad is Dutch.

Oh, thank you, Cian and

Jack and Harry. I didn't thank anyone.

And Kawaii Bass and Nicholas,

very generous. Uh,

did we miss a question? No,

no, we didn't. So your dad is Brazilian?

No, he's Dutch. Yes, my mom is Brazilian.

Will you do a livestream with your sister?

She didn't want to. I wanted to do one at

Christmas and then she changed her mind

after that guy showed up. She said she was

I saw Bullet for your Valentine live. Are

you jealous, Daniel? Not really. I don't

like live music.

Too many people. It looks scary,

and then they don't sound as good as the,

as the official song, and then it's

kind of disappointing. Depends who you're

watching, but most of the bands I like

aren't very good live. I saw one Korean

band, they're better in real life.

Mm-hmm. I like these weird metal bands

like Sabaton, Powerwolf,

and Nightwish. My back's itchy.

Do you want me to itch it for you?

No. That's the girl from the video.

Really? Is it? Happy birthday, Dan.

Is your pet What? Oh my god, what's a

kanker mongol? It's in Dutch. It means

like a fucking imbecile. I don't think

she likes it. I think so too. Hello,

nice girl. An imbecile. I love you.

Can I get talking permission in

#TalkWithDaniel? Yeah, sure. Message me on

Discord. I'll upgrade you.

Happy B-day, Dan. Birthday cake. Is this

your pet kangaroo? X. Did it pronounce it

properly? Kangaroo. Oh, I wish

Sabrina could be my teenage witch. She's

not teenage anymore.

Turkish girl number 2. I didn't make you

bleed. You didn't. Not yet.

I made sure to do 5 play.

This is the best livestream ever if you've

been following the anime. Uh-huh.

Say 10 reasons why you dislike her.

Why I hate the Dutch girl. Name 3. Um,

she's a bit loud. I am.

Next.

Um, I don't know.

That's it really.

Um, she won't let me do doggy style.

Maybe tomorrow. That's it

really. I can't think of anything.

Don't actually say them. I don't think

I have many things I dislike. It's not a

big deal. If you say,

I might leave. Yeah, I'll say them when

she's not here. After I leave, he's gonna

have lots of complaints. I would never

He's saving them up right now, writing a

list. Yeah,

there's really

a lot of Dutch people. Yeah, I didn't know

I had so many. Wait, where are you guys

from? Please type. I want to know. I bet

it's mostly America. Is it?

Well, even if there's only 1% Dutch,

that's still quite a lot of people. I

think it's more. 1% of 20,000

is what? 20?

200? How many people in Korea messaged

you? Who were in Korea?

2. Ah, 2. And they were American.

There was George and then the Top Lists

guy. Oh, actually there was one Korean

girl. Look, look, all the countries.

Looks like all European mostly. Yeah,

Sweden. Oh my god, that person is from

Rotterdam. Okay, type yes if

you're in isolation, self-isolation. Who

here is self-isolating now? Everybody.

We can self-isolate together. This is

hilarious, your old fling is here and your

current one is here as well. Who? All we

need is your future fling. The girl who

commented just now, I think maybe. Ah,

Pia.

What? Why everybody yes, yes, yes, no,

no, no? I said say yes if you're in

isolation. Ah, so late. So many people

saying yes.

How's Daniel's 16-year-old boy acne?

It's not too bad now. Going on.

It's not too bad. It's all right. Show me.

I don't have any big ones. The— when you

met me the first day, you had one next to

your nose. How's Daniel's 16-year-old boy

acne situation? Oh yeah, I had one here,

didn't I? It was very red. Oh,

I was nervous.

It's not too bad.

No, put it more down.

Show the bodies. That's too low. I look

I'm squatting. Sit down like a normal

human. I like squatting, feels nice. Do

you squat when you're on the toilet? No.

Oh wow, $50!

Yay!

Thank you, Gabby. Treat me!

I already treated you again,

but there's nothing around here. Take me

to the sheep. We'll go sheep hunting.

We don't need a hotel now, we've got my

We, we don't have karaoke though.

No. Did you have to use condoms? Have to

use? I brought some,

I didn't use it. I might be pregnant.

Next video, the Dutch girl got pregnant.

Uh-oh. You took the pill,

didn't you? Yes, I did. The next day pill?

I did.

It's okay, I'm sterile.

Yeah, your sperm is dead. You're old.

Safe.

Why do you have yellow fever? Who,

me or you? Both. But you're not

yellow, I think. But you have yellow

fever. No, you only dated Japanese.

I'm willing to change. And Koreanesis.

I'm— I think I'm over my yellow fever.

Are you? I don't think so. I think you

look very nice.

Why you have yellow fever? That's what my

next video will be, why I'm giving up on

Asian women.

Are you terrified of pregnancy? No,

I'm ready to become a father.

When you have a kid, I let my kid drown in

the pond. No,

Brazil passport. She murdered our baby.

I had a Brazil passport, but I had to give

it up because you're only allowed to have

one. And my Dutch is more valuable.

She murdered my baby.

Bye-bye, baby.

Repopulating. Yeah, the virus is gonna

take out thousands. We need to start—

sperm never ages. It has reversed

telomeres. What does that mean?

Telomeres? I forgot what that word means.

Maybe you can put it on your face. It's

what determines how long cells live for,

the lifespan of a cell. So if you eat it,

you live longer? No. Spread it on your

bread. The fruit fly

has only one sperm and it's really,

really long. I told you about

that. Yeah, I told her about that at the

restaurant. Screw me. My small talk

conversation skills. So weird. But it's

really long, bigger than the actual fly,

and it unravels as it comes out. I don't

need to know. You always attract flies.

She's a freak like Daniel. No,

she's a nice Normal girl. Yay! With no

mental problems. Yes. So far.

Hmm. Ik wil niet in Nederlands spreken.

How much do you pay, Mila? I paid for the

hotel and the restaurant. Yeah, well, I

paid for McDonald's. Yes, and I paid for,

for the beers. She paid £40 for the

groceries today. Yes, also, I'm a nice

Dutch payer. Yeah, she's not a leech.

Dan, don't worry, she swallowed all your

milk babies during cereal. Don't worry,

Daniel, she swallowed all your milk babies

during cereal. How do you feel about that?

Sounds good.

Sounds good to me.

Why? Hmm. What's this?

Nee, hij heeft geen stinkvoeten.

I said you have stinky feet. I do.

No, you don't.

Do I have smelly feet? No, don't smell.

She won't let me smell them. He licked my

feet.

So you

bit me. I've got a bruise. I didn't.

Where? It was going yellow.

Here, look, it's going yellow. Oh wait,

it is going yellow where you bit me.

I'm so nice. Why is it going yellow

though? I thought bruises were blue.

Maybe it's the coronavirus.

How long's the stream gonna be? Maybe 15

to 20 minutes.

I have a video. Has she pegged me yet?

What is pegged? You put on a willy and

then you screw my bottom. Do you want

that? No, I'm not into anal. Anal.

Can I say what we did to your sex doll?

Okay, go on then. Yesterday Daniel showed

me his sex doll and I slapped the booby

and squished it. It's very squishy in

there. It's really— and it was, yes, ill.

It's all sticky from my

sweat. I didn't clean it.

Hmm, her feet didn't taste of anything.

Strawberries. Yeah, we were having a

strawberry bath. Yes, so it just tastes

like strawberry.

Yeah, I made a video of us. She, she was

just moving into my house,

and then we made stinging nettle tea.

Daniel didn't like it. He threw it away.

Such a waste. We should make grass

tea.

Oh, thank you. Kawaii bitch. Is she one

knitter or your new ex? New ex-wife. Is

she one knitter? What is a knitter?

I don't knit, that's for grandmas.

Oh, is she— are you a one-nighter? Oh, a

one-nighter. Well, this is the 4th day,

so this would be the fortnighter. I'm a

fortnighter. Wait, that's the game. We

slept together 3 nights now. We met 2 here

and then 1 in London. So this is the

third day, fourth day. Yes, fourth day.

What the fuck? My chair. You sit

like L in Death Note. Yeah,

it's comfortable.

Do you know Al? Yes. You saw Death Note?

He's the guy with your hairstyle. It goes

like that. It's longer. And he's wearing a

white shirt. Yeah, and he sits like me.

I need longer hair to do it. Oh my god,

stop moving. I can't. I'm shy.

She fidgets. I'm spastic.

Can you have cereal now? That's on my

Patreon-only content. You have to sign up.

Patreon-only exclusive content.

The fuck was that? I was hiccupping.

Waiting. Thank you, Jerkules.

Jerkules. When I bring a girl back to my

bedroom, I tell her this is where the

magic happens. Then I pull a rabbit out of

a hat. Happy for both of you. That's funny

if you would actually do that. I don't say

cheesy things, cheesy one-liners.

Daniel finally found a match that is just

as awkward. I don't think she's awkward.

Am I awkward? Maybe a little bit

sometimes. She looks

like 12. No,

then Daniel looks like 21.

Stop it.

Oh, where's your

hands? I'm not touching anything.

Did you film her? Yes.

That sounds so wrong. I filmed us carrying

her luggage to my house. You should put

it on Pornhub.

That's a good question. Why do you like

Daniel? Why do I like Daniel? What do you

like about him? He's honest. The most

honest YouTuber. And he's weird.

And I don't know, he's funny.

Oh, thank you.

She has a childish hairstyle. What if you

untie it, see what it looks like? But now

it's not good and my braids are going

down. I should have left it down. Maybe

we'll livestream again, then I'll put my

hair down. Chat wants to know.

Yes, this is a wig. They're probably

asking about other hairs. Can I say?

Yes. She's very hairy. I like

it. I didn't shave my legs.

And yeah, yeah, I like hairy

girls.

Literally Onision. I am the most honest

YouTuber. That's what Onision keeps

saying. Really? Yeah. I never watched his

videos. Me neither,

but he's like a trending topic now. They

say you're the same as him. Yeah, they

call me the Asian Onision. I wonder why.

Didn't I heard something he molested

children or something like that? I don't

know if that's true, but he had very young

fans who were like 16, and then they would

live with him. That's creepy. But he's

also married to this other weird person

who's a woman, but she's a guy. What? And

they also have 2 kids. Okay, interesting.

And then they, they fly out the fans to

live with them. Like, there was one

16-year-old or something Living with them.

Why would they do that? I don't know. To

serial them. Yeah,

I would never do such a thing.

I might leave this week. Oh wait, wait,

this week? Yeah, maybe, maybe. No,

if my plane is going Sayonara.

Sayonara. Oh wow, $50!

Thank you, Kawaii Base.

So many money! Wait, is that how many

money you received? Uh, wait, no, it's

just— where can you see the whole thing?

You on your birthday? I admit they were

kind of mean. Here's your birthday

present. Hope you have good birthday

today. Thank you. Today.

Very kind. You have loyal fans. Yeah.

See, not everyone hates me. Everyone. I

hate it when those stupid people in the

comments say no one likes you, Daniel. We

only watch you to watch you suffer. But

there's always loads of people who like

me. What are you talking about?

Daniel's rich. Rich.

My folding phone.

Oh, don't say it.

Oh wow, that's today. Really?

A lucky boy.

I can't fit

in. No, you can't. You don't fit into

society. No, into the camera.

Hmm. Running out of time. Quick, ask last

questions. When will you stop the

livestream? When my mum starts shouting,

Daniel, we're going now!

Stop flexing. I wasn't flexing. You were

flexing your phone. You asked me how much,

so I just showed you.

I guess she's the youngest Daniel has

smashed. No, Pia was 21.

I think Pia is the youngest— the longest—

the youngest— the longest.

Who is Nobita? He's that stupid Japanese

guy. I don't know who he is.

Why should I know him? Boring. I don't

know. I don't know why people keep

bringing him up. He's nothing like me.

Does Mila know Nobita?

Nobita?

He's this guy.

Oh, I've seen him before actually, but I

never clicked on his video. He looks

weird. What kind of content does he make?

Look at his face, he looks like a frog.

What is this? He makes stuff about Japan,

but this is not related to you. But he

made a video about me before he deleted

it. What did he say? I made a video about

him saying that I hate him, and then he

made a response video and he called me a

liar and he said I fake content.

Poor Daniel. And he said Don't come to

Japan if you're like Daniel, if you're

this kind of foreigner.

Oh, thank you, Ton X Not.

Weird name.

He also gave me a strike because I used

his photo in one of my videos. You always

use people's photos. He uses people's

photos as well. He just takes stuff off

Google.

Why does this person want that I speak

Dutch to you? Who? That person there keeps

saying that the whole time. The Dutch

person in caps lock. This one? Yeah.