Why My Life has made No Progress in 20 years [9AE8XOMd-RA]

Hello and welcome back to a new video. So

today I want to talk about how my life has

made pretty much no progress in the last

20 years. Since the age of 15, I've seen

people around me progress in their lives,

from graduating from university to getting

jobs to learning to drive and getting cars

to moving out and getting their own homes

and then having relationships and starting

their own families. I look at myself

sitting here at age 33. When I compare

myself now back to when I was about 16 or

15, almost nothing has changed. I'm still

in this same bedroom that I grew up in. I

don't have any cars, I don't have any

serious relationships, I still haven't

found the special girl who I really like,

who really likes me back. I haven't

learned or developed any kind of skills

that could help me get a job or help me

make more money, and I still don't even

have my own place, my own home that I can

call my own. It's like 15 years have just

gone by and nothing has changed in my

life. There's been no progress made. I've

maybe made a few steps towards progress,

but I Ultimately, they all failed, and I

just ended up back at square one. And

sometimes it just feels like everyone

else's lives are progressing and moving

forwards whilst mine is just stagnating

and kind of like frozen in time. I feel

like it's kind of unfair. Everyone's

having these great lives, and I'm kind of

like stuck in this prison. What seems so

normal to everyone else seems so

impossible for me to accomplish myself,

and I just really don't know why. The 4

main important pillars of life: having

your own home, having a car, having a good

girlfriend who's loyal and committed, and

having a good stable job. All of these

things I've kind of failed to obtain in

life, and I think I've pinpointed the main

reason why I failed to achieve or obtain

any of these things. And I think that one

thing is commitment, and basically being

able to anchor yourself to one location

for a long period of time. The main

problem in life is everything takes such a

damn long time to finish and achieve. If

you want to get a good job, then you've

got to study at university for like 4

years. 4 years is such an insanely long

amount of time. How am I expected to stay

interested in the same topic and stay

motivated to learn it and study it to a

point where I'm really knowledgeable and

good at it and can pass the exams? I can't

even stay interested in the same thing for

longer than 4 weeks, let alone 4 years.

Having a good girlfriend has a similar

problem where you have to kind of put a

lot of time and effort into the

relationship and maybe even have to be

friends. For a few years before you can

actually start to be boyfriend and

girlfriend. And then when you are in a

relationship with her, then you're kind of

stuck with her. She's gonna be around

every day all the time, and you can't

really put the relationship on pause and

then go to a different country for a few

months and then come back and resume it.

Same thing applies for having your own

home. If you did have enough money to be

able to purchase a house, then you kind of

have to stay there and live there.

Otherwise, you just wasted your money on

buying this property. It's very hard to

rent an apartment for short term that's

shorter than 6 months. I don't want to

rent someplace and then get stuck in some

kind of contract for a year, I can't

imagine staying in the same place for

longer than a whole year. I would just

feel so bored. The point is, all of these

main pillars in life kind of require you

to be locked down in one place. And

because in the past I was always tempted

to go to Japan instead of having a job or

having some kind of education or doing

anything that takes a long time, I never

managed to achieve anything meaningful in

life. I always used to think, why would I

want to waste my time being stuck in some

kind of university course or college

course or being stuck in a job when I

could just buy a ticket and fly over to

Japan and go on dates and meet people and

have a good time. Well, because Japan is

still not reopening even after nearly 3

years, it's kind of forcing me to rethink

my priorities and what I want to do in

life. I haven't been stuck at home in the

same place for such a long time since

before I was even 20. One of my biggest

fears in life was always becoming one of

those people who lives in Maidstone, has

like a townhouse, and it looks kind of

crappy, but they have to stay there

because they can't afford anything better

and they've got like a dead-end job. In

the town, and they need the job to pay for

bills and stuff, and it's like they're

just stuck there. I always thought to

myself, I'd rather use the money to buy a

plane ticket and go to Japan, live in a

guesthouse, and then go over to Korea,

stay there for a while. But since the

whole world kind of shut down, doing that

has been extremely difficult. So one of

the reasons why I've come to this recent

realization, why I can't seem to achieve

anything in life and get these pillars in

life like home ownership and car

ownership, girlfriend ownership, is

because of driving and cars. Some of you

may know already that I've been doing

driving lessons, and the idea of having my

own car, being able to move around in my

own car, has been something that's been

very interesting to me recently. And the

reason why I started to get interested in

driving and the idea of having my own car

is because back in late May or early

June of this year, I started to find some

success in the dating apps in this

country, and I went on quite a lot of

dates with various British girls, a Polish

woman, and some other woman, and I managed

to get 2 British girlfriends at the same

time. The problem is they kind of live far

away from me, and getting to them is very

difficult using public transport. And I

thought to myself, actually, yeah, it

would be quite nice to have a car and be

able to reach them quite easily without

having to risk getting beaten up at the

train station. So after 15 years of

avoiding driving and showing no interest

in cars, I started to feel very

interested, and I booked myself in for

some driving lessons. And funnily enough,

I actually really enjoyed driving. It was

quite fun. Very exciting, and I like the

feeling of being able to sit in the

driver's seat and be in control of a large

piece of machinery. However, my driving

ambitions and car ownership ambitions are

in jeopardy because recently I started

talking to a lady from Thailand. So this

is gonna sound kind of random, but I'll

give you the short version of the story.

Back in December last year when I was in

Manchester, I was on dating apps a lot,

and I managed to match a few Thai women

and Filipino girls who had their location

set to Manchester or England by using the

Tinder Gold member location passport

thing. And I matched this Thai woman, and

it seems that we exchanged contact details

because she was on my WhatsApp friends

list. And I completely forgot about it

because when I look at our chat history,

we only talked once on WhatsApp when we

matched each other and exchanged details.

And the conversation history was just 2

lines. It was, hey, how are you? And then

she says, I'm good, thanks. And that was

it. We didn't talk again, and I completely

forgot about her up until a week ago. So I

got back from Malaysia about just over a

week ago, and I was kind of bored. I went

onto WhatsApp, I was looking at my

contacts, and I saw her name, and I was

like, that's funny, I don't remember

adding her. I clicked on her profile

picture, and she's quite cute. I still

didn't really remember matching her

either, so I thought I'd just for fun just

say hi, what's up? So when I talk to

women, I kind of have 2 modes. I'm either

in really friendly and kind and nice guy

kind of mode, or I'm in complete troll

mode where I just really don't care

anymore. And I usually go into troll mode

when I don't really feel like anything's

going to happen, and I don't really care

if nothing happens. And when I go into

troll mode, I basically say really weird

stuff that no guy should ever say to a

woman if he's actually genuinely

interested in her. And the lines I use

when I'm in troll mode are usually things

like, hey, are you single? Hey, do you

still want to meet me? And if I'm feeling

extra courageous, I might chuck in a, do

you want to be my girlfriend? question.

And these questions are not supposed to be

serious, and I don't really expect them to

work. But surprisingly, in my experience

and dating career, I've actually found a

lot of success when I'm in troll mode.

The problem when I'm in nice guy mode is

I'm too timid. I don't really ask anything

interesting, and I'm very scared to kind

of cross that line of just being a normal

guy who's chatting to a woman to becoming

a guy who's interested in this woman.

Romantically and physically. And when I'm

in nice guy mode, the conversations kind

of fizzle out and go nowhere, and nothing

really happens because I'm too scared to

escalate things. So I was in troll mode,

and I was chatting to that Thai girl that

I matched, and I had no expectations

because I wasn't really interested in

going to Thailand. Never really felt

interested in Thailand before. And I asked

my usual silly questions like, hey, are

you still single? Do you still want to

meet up? And being in troll mode, or I

guess you could call it playful mode,

seems to have been extremely effective

when talking to this Thai woman. I think

being extremely direct and blunt is quite

effective when talking to certain types of

girls because we really hit it off and we

talked a lot. We even did phone calls and

video chats, so I know it's not like a

catfish or not some person using loads of

filters when they're actually fat and ugly

because she looks just how she says she

looks in the video call. And the problem

is now I really, really want to go to

Thailand and just kind of drop my driving

lessons because the driving thing is

taking such a long time. It's taking such

a long time to get ready for being able to

do the test. And even if I pass the test,

I don't know if I'm gonna buy a car

anymore, because if I'm planning to go to

Thailand for a long period of time, why

would I want to buy a car in the UK? And

if I'm not planning to buy a car, then

what's the point of learning to drive?

The only thing stopping me from just

booking a ticket and flying to Thailand

this very day is the fact that I've put in

so much effort and money and time into

learning to drive. I've taken 11 lessons

so far, and it just feels like it would be

such a waste if I dropped it all now. For

my entire adult life, I've been so scared

of driving and cars and being on the road,

and I've always resisted the idea of

driving and having a car, thinking it was

useless and waste of time and money and

pointless. And I feel kind of proud of

myself now that I finally managed to get

myself back behind the wheel and into the

world of cars and driving. I'm still

determined to pass my test and get my

driver's license because I think somewhere

down the line in the future I would be

happy to have a license, and it would be

nice to have the option of being able to

drive and having a car. It's just right

now I really want to go to Thailand

because I feel like this Thai lady is

really nice. She's really ticking all of

the boxes that I expect from a girlfriend.

I think she really likes me. She says that

she wants me to come to Thailand so we can

meet and go on dates, and she's really

cute and adorable, but not in like a

photoshopped fake way. It's just bringing

back a lot of memories back when I was in

my early 20s, or back when I was 18 or 19,

and I had these different Japanese online

girlfriends, and we talk about going on

dates and living together and all that

kind of romantic cute stuff. And she ticks

a lot of my boxes because she's in her

mid-30s, she's got her own place, she

works 2 jobs, she's got her own money,

she can drive, she's independent, and

she's got no father. And these are like

the main things I look for in a potential

girlfriend. And it's just so frustrating

that there's literally nothing stopping me

from going to see her apart from this

whole driving thing, which I really can't

put on hold. I really need to focus on

doing it now because the longer I put it

off, the worse at driving I'll get, and

then the longer it takes to get the

license. And this brings me back neatly to

my initial point that I made in the

beginning of the video. Everything that's

important or fulfilling in life takes such

a damn long time to do. Why does

everything have to require you to be

locked in place for a certain amount of

time? And this is exactly why my life has

made no progress in the last 20 years is

because I can't commit myself to doing

anything that takes a lot of time,

because what if some girl from Japan or

Asia or from another country likes me and

wants to meet me, and then I want to go

and meet her? I have to drop everything to

be able to go and meet her because I don't

want to just go for like one week. I want

to be able to stay there for several

months. Every single year since 2010 when

I started to go to Japan, I've had

romantic experiences and adventures

relationships that were only possible

because I had the ability and the freedom

to be able to just drop everything, buy a

plane ticket, and fly over there. I never

had any commitments like having to pay

rent or having some kind of property that

I had to look after or having a pet or

having some kind of college course that I

needed to stay in England to focus on. I

was always able to be completely free,

completely unburdened, no anchor weighing

me down. And for that reason, I think

unfortunately I have failed at another

pillar of life. The idea of owning a car

and having my own car, like an expensive

Tesla or something, is just kind of out of

the window now because it would make no

financial sense to buy a car when I'm not

even using it for half the year. It would

be so silly to buy a car and then get

signed up on insurance and road tax and

all of that stuff, and I'm paying for it

passively whilst not even having any use

for it because I'm in another country for

half a year or something. So basically,

the reason why I failed everything in life

is because women. I blame women. If it

wasn't for women existing, I would be able

to get a car and then get the license and

get my own house and get a good job and be

able to focus and concentrate on

something. But I keep getting distracted

by their cuteness and hotness. So I'm

going to give myself up until September to

try and get my driver's license. My

instructor said I should be ready around

mid-August, but if I can't get it before

September, I think I'm going to have to

just go to Thailand and give up on the

driving thing for now. Because you can't

really make women wait too long. They'll

get bored, they'll lose interest, and they

might even find another guy before you

even get the chance to buy your plane

ticket. You really have to strike whilst

the hammer is hot. So now my plan is I'm

going to try and carry on with my driving

lessons, try and get a driver's license

and pass my test in August or maybe early

September, and then I'll go to Thailand to

see if things work out with this Thai

girl. And if things don't work out, then I

can just come back home to England and

then I can resume my car ownership dream.

And even if I decide to stay in Thailand,

having a UK driver's license actually is

quite beneficial because I could just get

an international driver's license and then

I'll be able to drive in a lot of

countries like Japan and even Thailand. I

think it would be really good timing if I

could get to Thailand around September

because the flight tickets are really

cheap in September for some reason, and

Thailand has reopened to all kinds of

tourists. You don't need any special

mumbo-jumbo or guided tours to be able to

get there, unlike some countries. I don't

know why Japan doesn't hurry up and

reopen. What are they waiting for? Some

people are estimating Japan might reopen

in November or December or even early

2023, which actually would be great timing

if I spent 3 months in Thailand and then

maybe a few months in Korea, and then I

could easily just hop over to Japan when

they finally eventually reopen. That means

I won't be able to get back to my whole

car dream in England until 2023 spring.

So as you can see, it's extremely hard to

make long-term plans when you're such an

attractive and sought-after male specimen

such as myself. How come I just can't get

rid of the ladies? It's just kind of funny

because sometimes you can have long

periods of nothingness where there's no

lady action and you feel like you're

abandoned and no one cares about you

anymore. So then you start thinking,

well, if women don't want me anymore,

then I'll just focus on something else

like driving or studying something. And

then when you get fully absorbed into this

new hobby or this new focus, then out of

nowhere all these women appear trying to

get your you-know-what. It's kind of like

I mentioned in a previous video about the

law of reversed efforts, where when you

shift your focus to something else and you

stopped caring about the thing you were so

desperate for in a previous state of mind,

then the thing you were so desperate for

eventually just kind of appears in your

life naturally without you really having

to do anything or put any effort into

making it happen. I didn't really put any

effort into getting this Thai girl. I just

randomly messaged her because she was on

my contacts list, and now we're planning

to meet up in Thailand. It's just funny

how life works, isn't it? Who knows,

maybe we'll really click and really get on

well when we meet, and then I'll end up

marrying her and I'll get a spouse visa,

and then I'll start a new magical life in