Making Burger for My Viewers

Bugger,

bugger.

Burger. Hello, today I'm going to be

making 2 hamburgers and

winner— winners will receive the

hamburger. I will send it to you.

In the post.

Put back some of your unlisted videos.

Which ones?

The only unlisted videos I have are the

Chihiro ones, and she told me to take them

down. So if you want

to see them, maybe I'll put them on

OnlyFans.

Yeah, I could put secret videos that don't

have to be sexual videos onto OnlyFans,

couldn't I?

Naughty Chihiro videos on my OnlyFans.

No, I have to listen to her because she

could report me for, I don't know,

secretly filming prostitutes, which I

never did. That's naughty.

But I hate this knife. When you cut

tomato, instead of cutting, it just slides

across the tomato skin. What is the point?

Maybe she watches my naughty videos

secretly.

Why is

my lettuce so floppy?

Nothing worse than floppy lettuce.

I think I give up making videos. I feel

like, what's the point? People don't even

I'll just do making my dinner livestreams

instead. At least I don't have to bother

editing.

I made a really well-researched, highly

analytical, in-depth video on Joe Biden

and Only 5K views.

What a slap in the face.

So I quit YouTube. I'm just gonna make

burgers now.

Oh, why don't they cut the bun in half for

me? Do I have to do everything?

Oh wow, thank you, Ibarra. Very generous.

Today has been so noisy all day long.

My bloody neighbors going up and down, up

and down. Sounds like they're jumping up

and down up there. Oh, look at this bread

bun. Why is it breaking into pieces?

That was not smooth.

And then they started smoking you know

what, and then they started shouting and

laughing. How can you laugh when

the world is falling apart? My channel's

dying, can't even get 5K views,

and they think it's funny.

I don't approve of their laughter and

happiness. Is it just

me, or does anyone else think that the

dumber people are, the happier they are?

They just seem so happy,

but they also seem so dumb.

Maybe that's why I'm so depressed all the

time. I'm just too intelligent.

I took a picture of them because I was

expecting a delivery. A few days ago,

and— why is this thing smoking?

And I put my GoPro out by the window so I

could see when the delivery man comes,

and they're all just standing out there in

front of my door talking.

About 6 of them.

How dare

Oh.

Turn that heat down.

Do you like your tomatoes,

um, raw or cooked?

We can cook some tomatoes, why not?

Okay,

assemble the burger like

this.

The burger's already seasoned, you don't

need to season it. Oh my God,

that was hot!

I burnt my finger. Oh my God.

I didn't think it would be so hot.

Oh, thank you. Plus equal. Aren't you the

guy who left his wife for a sex doll? A

sex doll? Yes, that's me,

the sex doll guy.

Is that what people are going to remember

me as? The sex doll guy.

Can't get this tomato thing out.

That'll do. Wow, I really burned

my finger just

from touching the tomato. Crazy.

Fuck, I need to stop swearing or I

won't get ad rev— ad

Okay, we just wait. Is it cooking? It's

not making any sound.

I just touched the top of the tomato. I

didn't expect it to be so boiling hot.

Oh, here we go.

It's sizzling.

Looks delicious.

One for me and one for you.

I don't think Sharla would marry this guy.

What do you mean? I think Sharla would

love me.

I bet Sharla's a dirty girl. She plays

that nice girl, good girl persona, but I

bet in real life she's naughty.

Look at

this.

The problem is the burger bun has split in

half in the middle.

Oh, onions. I forgot.

Thanks for reminding me.

Can I do a handstand? I don't think so.

Sounds dangerous.

That's some onions I pre-chopped yesterday

on my cooking channel. Some of

you may have seen it.

Ow, it's spitting oil at me.

I could do kind of like Japanese style.

Teppanyaki kunai,

but that's just basically beef, isn't it?

And onions,

but I need thin slices.

Why am I in the Netherlands? To see Mila.

I'm surprised some people still don't know

why I'm here yet.

It's almost as if people stopped watching

my channel and don't know what's happening

anymore. What a shocker.

Do I still have AIDS? No.

It was weird when I was with Chihiro, I

kept getting yeast infections, but I don't

get them anymore, so it's not my problem.

It was because of Chihiro that I kept

getting those infections.

It happened all the time with Chihiro

after we had sex. If I didn't clean my

dick, next day I'd wake up and it'd be

itchy and cheesy and I had to put cream on

it. I had to have dick cream,

dick cheese cream all the time. But ever

since I left Chihiro, that's stopped

happening. So not my

it's her fault.

Oh, thank you, Cerezo. Hope the burgers

are nice. It looks raw in the middle.

It's cooking,

cooking.

I invested in Bitcoin yesterday. I put

$1,000 on Bitcoin and I put $300

on Ethereum, and my Bitcoin went up by

$5. That's good.

10 years' time, I'll be a millionaire,

and then we'll see who's laughing.

Why is it taking such a long time?

Look, it's still— I bet you anything it's

still pink in the middle. See, I told you.

But no, never listen to me, do you?

It's pink.

I need a fork.

Look, this is how they do it in Japan.

That is

how you do it.

It's a lot of oil coming out. How come

there's so much oil?

The good thing about Beyond Meat burgers

You don't really have to cook it in the

middle because it's not real meat.

Oh, by the way, I unblocked everyone from

my banned list because I was in a good

mood, but if anyone steps out of line

again, I will ban you again so fast.

I had over 200 people banned,

but all unbanned now, so you

can thank me for being so

kind when really I don't have to. I

shouldn't have to put up with your

nonsense.

I was feeling generous today.

Hmm, do you think they're finished?

I didn't really check the comments on my

last video because I didn't really care,

but I saw one comment from a stupid person

saying, first of all, Daniel, you're not

wealthy and you're not an American. Blah

blah blah blah blah. As if she thinks

that I actually think that I am a wealthy

American. In the video, I just

said, as a wealthy American, I think blah

blah blah. It's obviously a joke, but

people really don't know when I'm joking.

Do you seriously think that I think that

I'm a wealthy American? You don't need to

tell me that I'm not actually an American.

I know.

Jesus, some people are so stupid.

It's like I'll say as a joke, I'm a big

fat penguin, and then they'll go, no,

Daniel, first of all, you're not really a

penguin, you're a human being. Oh, thanks

for explaining it to me. I thought I was

actually a penguin.

I can't believe how dumb some of the

comments are.

Looking good.

Look at

We're just missing the piano music.

Do do do do do do do do.

I found this new streamer recently. She's

quite funny. She's called Ginny

something. She's— I think she's Chinese.

She's kind of like Ice Poseidon, but a

girl. Yeah,

Ginny TTY. She's pretty crazy.

Oh, it just spurted out.

But she looks fun.

She does pretty interesting things for

streams, like she'll rent a boyfriend and

then stream meeting him, kind of like

stuff Ice Poseidon used to do.

That is how you make a burger.

Look at that. Who wants the first bite?

Okay, I'm gonna go in for a try.

Oh wow,

it's pretty

good.

Oh no, I forgot the onion.

Better than Ben Dean.

Ben Dean doesn't cook his burgers, so lazy

he just goes to McDonald's. At least on

the Daniel Show, I show you the whole

It's actually

really

good.

No.

Oh yeah, did I tell you last week there

was a massive bang and I thought it was a

gun— a gunshot? It turns out some people

made a fireworks bomb and blew up a car

just down the street, and about 4

ambulances went whizzing past my place,

and then about 5 minutes later, Mida

messaged me saying, oh my God, 4

ambulances just came past my house.

And it was in the news. Apparently someone

blew up a car and all the houses in

the area, the windows were shattered, and

some people had to go to hospital just

down the street from me. This is what

happens when you live in the ghetto.

4th most dangerous neighborhood.

They make these little improvised missiles

and bombs out of fireworks.

People here are

crazy. Oh, I got

a burger.

It's such a shame because I quite liked

the Netherlands up until the day I moved

in here, and then ever since I moved in

here, my perception of the Netherlands has

just gone down the toilet.

I'll try and make the next burger. Less

messy.

Okay, wash my hands.

Okay, let me try again. This time I won't

break the burger bun, but it's

just kind of brittle. It's not very

flexible for some reason. I don't

know how to cut it. What's the best way?

I went from living in the best part of

Rotterdam, right in the center,

to living in the ghetto.

Okay, that's much better. Slicing like

this. Well, this reminds me when I worked

at the petrol station, I had to use a

bread knife to cut open the baps. I don't

know why in England, um,

we have this kind of food called a bap and

it's basically just a bun with bacon in

it. So you have a bacon bap. Why don't you

just call it a bacon Bun. I don't know,

it's not a sandwich, but the bread is like

a burger bun, but it's not exactly like a

burger bun, but they call it a bap.

Weird. So I had to make the bacon baps

in the morning at the petrol station

around 5 AM. Around 5 AM, I used to

get really hungry after a night shift,

and sometimes I would cut off the end of

the bacon, like the tail of the bacon,

and I would have a sneaky nibble and

then put it back in. I was just so hungry

I couldn't stop myself.

You're starving, it's 5 AM, you've got all

this bacon, and you're just carving bread

and frying bacon, putting it into buns,

wrapping it up. It's so hard to resist.

Yeah,

I guess you would just call it a bacon

roll, but we called them bacon baps in

my area.

It's so nice I can say anything I want to

about the petrol station job. Because the

person who was in charge when I worked

there, she doesn't even work there

anymore. And the person who even owned the

petrol station, he doesn't even own it

anymore. He sold it. I used to work in a

Texaco and the owner sold it to

BP. Was it BP?

Yeah, I think BP. So it's not even owned

by the same company anymore. I can just

say, tell you all the messed up stuff I

did. Like, I masturbated on the toilets

and I just left it there to dry.

And I stole stuff every night and I took

money out the cash register. What are you

gonna do, fire me?

And I used to sell alcohol to— no, I

shouldn't say that. I mean, I never sold

alcohol to underage people,

and I always asked them for ID.

But sometimes I just gave them beer

because they would start begging me and I

couldn't be bothered to say no. I'd be

like, yeah, sure, whatever, take it. And

then my coworker would come up to me and

say, Daniel, did someone shoplift?

Because some of the beer's missing. I

would say, I don't know,

wasn't me.

It was so annoying when we got robbed.

This guy robbed us and I really wanted to

make a video about it. But my boss found

my channel and she said, Daniel, don't

make a video about this. She told me to

delete the videos where I complained about

my coworker and delete the video where I

showed the inside of the petrol station.

I didn't delete it, I just set it to

private. And then after I quit, I put it

back to public. It's still there if you

look for it. It's called Night Shift at

the Petrol Station, one of my best videos.

She said it would be a security risk

showing people the inside of the petrol

station. How is that a risk? People come

into the petrol station every day and see

the inside of it. If someone was going to

rob the place, they could just come there

during the day and then walk around and

look at it. Doesn't make any

You know what the most frustrating thing

is? I hated my co-worker. I had

2 immigrant co-workers. One of them was

really annoying, kept nagging

me about everything, and then the other

one spoke really bad English. I could

barely understand what he was saying most

of the time. And then when I quit They got

a new guy, and he was an English guy, and

he seemed really nice and friendly and

nice to work with. And he was the guy

replacing me. So annoying! If he was my

coworker in the first place, I probably

wouldn't have quit.

I could barely understand what he was—the

other coworker—was saying half the time.

He'd be like, "Daniel, are you better?"

And I'd say, "What?" Jesus,

what a nightmare. Do you know how

stressful it is when you start a new job

and everything seems complicated and

difficult, and they're supposed to be

teaching you how to do the job and you

barely understand what they're saying?

And you know what, to, to make matters

even worse, they got me to train the new

guy. How come I had to train the new guy?

I wanted to quit, but I thought I

was pretty good at training him. It was a

nightmare when they trained me, but they

made everything seem so complicated. They

were terrible at explaining what I had to

do. When I learned how to do everything,

it was so easy and simple, and I just

explained everything to the new guy in

such an easy, straightforward way.

And then I kept finding my own ways of

doing things that was more efficient and

effective, and then they would tell me to

stop doing things differently because

that's not how they do it. And I'm

supposed to be doing it properly. I bet

that idiot's still working there.

He was still working there when me

and Chihiro and my mum went there because

I saw his car outside.

And I went there beginning of this year

with Mila. I walked in this time,

and I think one of the ladies was the same

one who works there when I worked there,

but she did day shift, so she probably

didn't notice me walk in. I don't think

she saw me, but the other people were new.

One of my best ideas was— so we have

a walk-in freezer and we had to prepare

food, and in the walk-in freezer there'd

be stacks of boxes with frozen pastries

and bread and baguettes. And when you had

to take stuff out, you had to take all the

boxes down one by one, open the box you

want, take the stuff out, close the box,

and then stack it all back up. I managed

to cut that 4-step process down to a

1-step process. By just cutting a window

in the side of the box using a sharp

knife. And then instead of having to take

everything down, I just cut like a flap in

the side of the box and then just take

stuff out and then close the flap.

And I thought that was such a great idea.

And this stupid Nepalese guy was like,

Daniel, can you stop cutting holes in the

boxes because it will fall down? It didn't

fall down once. You You idiot.

How's cutting a flap in a box gonna make

it collapse? The strength of the box comes

from the corners.

I said to him, you're not my boss. If you

don't like how I do things, then tell

Jackie. And he was like, Okay then.

One night he got really pissy with me

because usually I have a 10-minute break

before I start cooking the bacon baps,

and I go into the office and I just have a

bit of a rest, eat some crisps.

And I always did that every day, but that

one day he came in and he swore at me.

He was— he said, Daniel, so you're not

going to do any fucking work?

But I always have a 10-minute break. I

only had 2 breaks. He had like 4 breaks

because he was smoking all the time.

He swore at me. I was so annoyed,

as if he expected me to help him do his

jobs. He never helped me do my jobs.

You were so annoyed you didn't— did

nothing about it. I quit. I quit because

of that. And I told Jackie, uh,

what's-his-face was swearing at me.

Stupid little prick. I forgot his name.

It was like Ramesh or something.

He was the most annoying person I have

ever met,

nagging me for stupid things, telling me

to stop doing things when it was a good

I hated him so much.

That day was scary because usually I don't

stand up for myself, but that day I just

had enough and I told him that I didn't

like the way he was speaking to me. And I

was so nervous, my legs were shaking, my

knees were trembling,

but I was so annoyed I just, I couldn't

keep quiet about it anymore.

I don't know why he kept nagging me all

the time. I mean, I didn't do the job

perfectly, but who cares?

Just a stupid petrol station.

If it was his business and he was the

owner and he was my boss, I wouldn't be

complaining because fair enough, it's his

business, he cares about it. But he, he

wasn't even the boss or the manager or

anything. He was the same position as

I was.

I think Nepalese people just have really

dumb work ethic.

I think that's why the British Army likes

them so much as soldiers, because they

had really good work ethic.

Was working in Japan better than England?

Not really. I had the same problem in

Japan. Stupid Chinese coworker nagging

me. So I go into work one day at the

convenience store I worked in Japan, and I

always have a coffee in the morning before

I start my shift. And I'd always take a

coffee from the storeroom,

and I never paid because, I mean, why

should I pay? I'm working there. And this

stupid Chinese guy sees me do it, and then

he goes, aren't you gonna pay for that?

And then I said, yeah, later. And he just

stood there staring at me, and he was

like, no, now. So I had to pay for stupid

coffee. Now, who the hell is he? It's not

even his convenience store. He doesn't own

it. Fuck off.

So as revenge, I stole more coffee the

next day when he wasn't there. So suck

on that, bitch.

How many fans did I meet in real life?

Let me see. I met—

who was the first fan I met? There was a

Canadian guy at immigration. He was weird,

he had big thick eyebrows. And then

I met Hong Kong guy. I met the married

Hong Kong woman, we had sex. And I met

Pia, Essex girl, Turkish girl,

German girl,

and Mila.

That's like 8 people. Oh,

I met David Bond. He was my fan. He used

to love watching my videos until he

started accusing me of faking my videos.

Can you believe that? He said there was a

clip of him talking about me in one of his

streams or videos. He was saying, oh, I

used to really like Daniel's channel until

I found out he fakes all his stuff. I

messaged him, I said, why are you telling

people that I fake stuff?

At least I don't have sex with midgets.

David Bond came all the way to Japan to

see me, and he only stayed for about 3

days, and he went back to Thailand.

If you don't know who the Hong Kong woman

is, I did make a video, but then she

messaged me asking me to take it down.

It was in 2018, after Malaysia,

this Hong Kong woman started messaging me,

and she was about 34. She was married,

but she said she didn't love her husband.

And she said she really liked me, so she

came all the way to Japan and she got

herself an Airbnb, and I went over there a

She was okay, but then she went weird.

I thought she was in love with me or

something, and then she started sleeping

with a bunch of random white guys and

having threesomes. Weird person.

She's Casey's wife.

Yeah,

she said after she met me, um, the

mysterious— the mystery kind of died.

I guess I wasn't up to her expectations,

and the sex wasn't really good anyway.

I don't know why, but it just wasn't good.

She moved too much when we did doggy

style. She kept Moving. I don't like it

when the girl moves.

Because when they start moving, um, you

have to move in sync with her pelvic

thrusts. So you're thrusting into her

backside, and then she's also kind of

thrusting into you. And sometimes the

timing is out of sync, and it's weird.

Like, you're thrusting towards her and

she's thrusting away, and then it doesn't

feel good. I like it when they stay still

and I grab them by the waist and I'm

pulling them towards me as I'm thrusting.

That's how I like to do it. But she kept

wiggling all the time,

and she had a really hairy vagina. The

hairiest vagina I had ever seen.

The hairs were like this long,

but I didn't mind it. It was okay. It kind

of tickled my ballsack.

It was just kind of weird because I had

never seen one before. Weird in a good

way, I guess.

I'm just glad I got out before she started

meeting random guys. I could have got

another STD.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh,

okay, I have finished my burger. Now we

shall finish the tomato, and then I'll

make coffee. And then what should we do?

Oh, what a mess. Got to clean this up now.

What device am I using to stream? I'm

using my Samsung S10 Plus.

Tempted to get an iPhone 12 Mini.

I've always wanted a smaller phone and

it's pretty cheap. It's only— no, it's

€800.

Euros. I want so many Apple products. I

want a MacBook, I want the 12-inch iPad,

I want the new iPhone, and I want a

Mac Pro, an iMac.

But I know I shouldn't. I should invest

Market's opening tomorrow. Very exciting.

Who else is excited? I've got £5,000 on

Tesla, but Elon Musk got COVID,

didn't he? So people are worried that he's

gonna die now and the stock's Tesla stock

is dropping in value now because

everyone's panicking, thinking, oh my God,

what if Elon dies?

That's the problem with investing. You

don't know what's going to happen. You

couldn't invest in Amazon and then Jeff

Bezos dies next day and then Amazon just

goes down the toilet. It should be fine

because Steve Jobs died. And Apple didn't

go down the toilet after Steve Jobs died.

Apple carried on soaring.

Apparently Steve Jobs had about 5 years

worth of ideas ready, planned out before

he died. And they say Elon Musk probably

has loads of stuff planned out as well.

What does Elon do exactly?

Does he do everything? So did he design

the Tesla car? Did he program all of the

software? Did he make all of the X space

rockets? It just seems like he doesn't

do anything apart from talk.

They never show him actually doing stuff.

Or is he just like, wouldn't it be cool if

we had a Cybertruck? And then hires

someone to design it and make it.

I don't really know much about Elon, but I

gave him £4,000.

I forgot what I was talking about now. My

mind went blank. Oh yeah, I was talking

about the Hong Kong woman, but I think I

finished— I finished the story.

Yeah, there's a few girls that you

probably don't know about because I didn't

talk about them,

but it's been such a long time since that

stuff happened, I don't really care about

talking about it. At the time it was

really exciting and I was thinking, oh my

God, if Only I could tell you guys about

what is happening now, but Chihiro would

kill me. I had so many adventures

in Japan that I had to keep secret.

There's still one that I haven't even said

anything about because it was kind of

recent. Well, not that recent. It was very

close to the time I got divorced.

So, you know, after the Hong Kong guy

drama happened, I just randomly got on the

train and went to this remote tiny town in

Kyushu in Japan.

Yeah. Well, I think you can put 2 and 2

People were like, why are you in Saiki? I

said, um, I don't know, I just chose a

random place to go to.

Yeah, right.

Maybe I'll tell the story next year.

When things are— when

things— when time has passed a

bit more.

I just love it if those people, the people

who got so angry when I told them about

the cheating stuff, I'd love to just tell

them now and rub it in their faces. Too

bad they stopped watching.

Like, back then I kind of had to be

careful not to lose too many viewers. But

now I'm like, oh, who cares.

It was quite funny seeing how outraged

people got with the whole cheating stuff,

but maybe— I don't know,

do you think that's what drove them away?

Maybe they'd still be watching if I didn't

tell people about that stuff.

Oh, but what's the point of having a

YouTube channel if I can't talk about what

I want to talk about,

even if that makes some people not like

Okay, let me put this in the bin.

I couldn't live without a dishwasher. I

have a dishwasher, I just don't use it.

Maybe I should use it. My dad always used

Oh, there's oil everywhere. It just

seems faster to wash it by hand. I've only

got one plate, one fork.

If you've got lots of stuff to wash and

you've got a big family, then I guess a

dishwasher would be better, but I'm all by

myself.

It's weird, dishwasher just reminds me of

my dad. He'd always wake up in the morning

and then unload the dishwasher because

he would turn it on before he goes to bed

and then leave it overnight. And in

the morning you could hear plates

Oh, it's still oily.

Do I love coffee? Yeah. I'm not sure when

I started drinking coffee. I didn't used

to like it.

I think it was my Korean ex who got me

into drinking coffee. I didn't used

to drink coffee in the morning. I used to

think, ugh, coffee is what grown-ups do.

And I used to hate drinking beer as well

because I thought, ugh, I don't want to

drink beer. That's what those chavs do at

school. It's what grown-ups

do, and I'm not a grown-up. I'm still

young. That's what I used to think.

You missed my Super Chat. Oops, let me go

up.

Wait, I don't see it.

Oh yeah, I see it. You forgot about Cesium

coming to your house. Oh yeah, I guess

he counts as a fan. Forgot about him.

Oops.

Do I enjoy tea? No, I don't like tea. I

like green tea and jasmine tea and those

weird fruit teas, but I don't like normal

English milk tea.

I used to drink it.

When I was a teenager, we'd go over to my

grandmother's house for the weekend on

Sunday, and then we'd have tea and

cupcakes. My grandmother always made a

cupcake— cupcakes with a cherry on top.

It was like a raisin cupcake.

It's not really a cupcake. We called them

a bun, but it's not like a bread bun or

hot cross bun. But we called them buns for

some reason. But it was basically a

cupcake with raisins and a cherry on top.

And she always made those and gave us a

And then after we— when we were leaving,

she would give me and Sabrina a bar of

chocolate, a Cadbury chocolate bar. You

know those rectangle ones? It had a puzzle

on the back.

Hmm, it's funny to think about

grandparents, isn't it?

I used to hate going there every Sunday.

My dad took us all. Crispin Court,

Coxheath. She lived in the retirement

old people's. Residential area in

quite a small little flat.

When did she die? I think she died 2002,

so 18 years ago. Wow,

I think she'd be about 98 now if she was

She had a hard life, raised 5

sons, had an abusive husband,

and then her own sons started fighting

each other over control for the house that

my dad ended up owning. Messy family

situation.

She died of lung cancer because her— I

think it was passive lung cancer from

smoking because her new husband was

What about my other side? You never talk

about them. I don't know my Malaysian side

because I never lived in Malaysia, so I

didn't really see them. I, I think I met

my Malaysian grandmother once when I was a

baby, but I don't remember her.

And my Malaysian grandfather died when he

was 50 from— no, he was 60 or 70, I think.

I'm not sure, but I don't remember seeing

him at all.

I was in Malaysia quite a lot when I was a

baby, maybe a couple months, but I don't

remember any of it.

And I grew up in England, so I

saw my English relatives all the time— my

cousins, my uncles, aunties— went over to

my grandparents' house all the time.

So that's why it kind of irritates me when

people say, you're not English, you're

Malaysian. Fuck off.

I've been in Malaysia for like 2% of my

life. I've never even been to China, so

don't even start saying that I'm Chinese.

Just because of what I look like. If you

didn't know what I look like and you were

just listening to my voice right now, you

would just think, oh, he's an English

person. But no, some idiots refuse

to accept that I'm English just because I

look Asian.

Do I communicate with any of my extended

relatives? No, I don't talk to any of my

relatives. No one cares about

me. None of them even message me saying,

hey Daniel, how are you? Heard you got

divorced, sorry about that. What's it like

living in the Netherlands? How are things

going? No one gives a shit about me. I

could die, no one would even care.

I wonder if my cousins talk to each other

and it's just me that they don't talk to

because I'm weird or something. What if

they all talk and meet up all the time?

That would piss me off, to be honest,

because I was the leader.

I had 7 cousins, and every time I had

family get-together, I was the one who

decided what we did and what we played.

There were only 2 other cousins older than

me, but they didn't get involved because

they were too old to play. But I

was the oldest out of all the other

I was the pack leader. I would decide what

we did, what we played.

Bunch of traitors.

They think they're so good because they

went to university and they do proper

jobs.

Yeah, well, suck my egg.

I don't need them. I've got my YouTube

family. My YouTube family

loves me.

Yeah, maybe they're just intimidated by

the presence of a famous YouTuber.

I had this Malaysian cousin and she has a

son and he was coming onto my Discord

server about 2 years ago having

a go at me for not having a real job. I

told him to go fuck himself and I banned

him. Don't know if you remember that

video. I made a video about everything,

didn't I? What was it called? It was

something like my message to my relative.

Fuck you. Wait, I need to poop.

Okay, I'm back.

What was I talking about? Yeah, I made a

video about that stupid nephew. Is he my

nephew? My cousin's son would be my what?

Well, he'll be 17 now. I think he was 15

at the time. He was

this little shit messaging my sister

complaining about me, saying, why doesn't

Daniel get a proper job? What's he gonna

do when his channel dies? 15-year-old

disrespecting me like that. I met

him in Malaysia, 2012.

No way. Yeah, first time I met him was

2012 and he was just a little 8-year-old

kid and I played Minecraft with him. And I

met him again 2018 when I went to Malaysia

with Chihiro and he didn't say anything to

me. And then after we went back to Japan,

he started joining my Discord server and

messaging my sister about Why isn't Daniel

getting a proper job? He sounded just like

those subreddit twats.

So annoying.

And I made a video destroying him.

Stupid idiot.

Who does he think he is talking down to

This is what people don't understand. If

you even dare disrespect me, I'll make an

entire video shaming you. And if you

insult me in the comment section, don't

think I won't screenshot your comment and

publicly humiliate you. And then don't

come crying to me when I do that, like I

publicly humiliated that girl— what's her

name— who said she unsubscribed because of

my Trump video.

And then people were whining about me

saying, oh Daniel, you shouldn't humiliate

her on your public platform. She started

it. She came at me. You come swinging

at me, then don't start

whining when I swing back.

I will destroy you. I don't care if you're

a girl. I don't care if you're a kid. I

don't care if you're my relative.

I don't care if you're black or white.

Also, don't forget I have the power to ban

you at any time, so might

want to watch what you say. You know, I'm

just saying that

you might want to reconsider what you're

typing because I will see it. Don't think

I won't see it.

Yeah, I deleted a lot of videos from 2018.

I deleted the Victoria one, Victoria part

2, my relative Video.

Texting in Tokyo video. The Rachel and

Jun, Jun the Robot video.

Oh wow, thank you, Sexual Alter A.

Humiliate me, do it, bro, I'll spam you so

hard. What are you gonna do, make a new

account? Some people make like 5 accounts

and they copy and paste the same comment

and I see it in my spam filter. The same

comment from 5 different accounts.

It's just so cringy.

How desperate can you be to comment?

Wow, can you hear the wind? The wind is

whistling.

The Wind in the Willow. Who's seen

that? It's about a big frog that drives

a car, I think.

I forgot what it was about. There were a

lot of English children cartoons that were

quite good, like Peter Rabbit, Beatrix

Potter's Peter Rabbit.

Farthing Wood, Watership Down,

Wind in the Willows.

Enid Blyton books were pretty good. Bet

none of you know any of these. I guess

you'd know Peter Rabbit, that was pretty

famous. Winnie the Pooh. A lot of good

stuff came out of England. Paddington

Bear.

Uh, is Tintin English? I'm not sure.

Popeye— is Popeye English? No,

he's American.

Oh yeah, and the Mr. Men series. My dad

used to read that to me and my sister.

There was Mr. Square and Mr. Triangle and

Mr. Tickle. And they could all do weird

things.

Oh, precious childhood.

If you have young kids, you have to show

them Watership Down. It will traumatize

them for life.

Have you seen Watership Down? You have to

see Watership Down if you haven't seen it.

It's probably on YouTube. Just type

Watership Down full movie. It's an

animated movie about rabbits that

get chased out of their home because their

home gets dug up for construction. So they

go on an epic journey to find a new home

on top of this hill. And as they're on the

journey, they get picked off one by one.

And one of them gets eaten by an eagle.

One gets trapped in some trap.

And then there's these evil rabbits that

are kind of like Nazi dictator rabbits.

And then the good guy rabbits don't have

any females with them. So they're like,

oh, well, we've arrived at our new home,

but we don't have any does. We don't have

any females. So they try and steal the

females from the Nazi rabbit camp. And

then the Nazi rabbits come after them and

they have like a battle. And there's this

huge rabbit called General Woundwort and

he just rips the little rabbits to shreds.

And then at the end, this massive dog

comes and eats him. It's so graphic.

There's all blood and spits and foam

foaming out their mouths when they fight.

I'd show it to you, but it's probably too

graphic for YouTube. They'll give me a

strike for violent content,

maybe.

And the ending's really sad. The good guy

rabbit dies, and then his ghost hops away,

and then that Simon and Garfunkel song

plays, Bright Eyes. It's really sad and

touching. They don't make movies like that

It's a

great movie.

Music's great, art style's great, story's

pretty good. It's kind of a basic story.

Guys have to get girls and then defeat the

bad guys, but it's still— it's good. It's

a good story, although it is simple.

I used to have this weird obsession with

rabbits when I was a kid, and I'd always

want to roleplay as a rabbit when friends

came over or my cousins came over. I'd

say, let's pretend to be rabbits, and then

we get the bedsheets and the pillows and

make like a rabbit den and crawl in and

out of it. I think that's why a lot of

my usernames are things like Rabbit LOL.

My Instagram is Rabbits Ate My Family. My

Twitter is Rabbit LOL 666.

I just quite like the idea of a rabbit.

They're so defenseless. All they can do is

run away. And dig a hole.

Everything's trying to eat them— cats,

dogs, wolves, eagles, owls.

But it just seems so pathetic and weak.

Say the N-word.

No, I said it

once and everyone started going on about

it. Remember I was in Japan doing a stream

and I said I've removed all of the banned

words from my blacklist. So you can say

the— you can say if you want to.

And then idiots were saying Daniel is

trying to get his viewers— telling his

viewers it's okay to say the N-word.

But that was a long time ago. I added it

back to the blocked words list.

I blocked quite a lot of words like fake,

made-up story,

Liar, lies, views, content,

stuff like that is all banned.

Because why would I want people writing

stuff like Daniel's videos are fake in the

comment section? Obviously I'm not going

to let you do that. I'm just going to ban

the word fake? How does it

help me to let you tell my

viewers that my content is fake?

It's not up to you to tell my viewers

stuff like that. If you think it's fake,

then that's what you think. Just keep it

And I always had very good reasons to fake

stuff because I was being chased down by

the KGB and I had to throw them off my

And if I had to choose between getting

captured by the KGB and making some fake

videos, well, it's not hard to choose.

I want to make a community poll. And then

ask, should I quit YouTube, yes or no?

And then obviously everyone's going to

press yes. So then I'll make the next

video, why I'm quitting YouTube. I am

tempted to do it. It'll be funny.

And then next day I'll be back with

another video. Hey guys, I'm back.

Oh, I wish I had some. Oh, oh no, I had

chocolate but Mila ate it all.

She was supposed to come tomorrow, but now

she said Tuesday because she

hasn't done all the stuff she wanted to do

yet.

Getting kind of bored, really. I mean,

today I didn't do anything. Just played my

game on iPad, jerked off a couple times,

made lunch, had ramen, watched a bit of

YouTube. I don't know what to do. I'm so

bored,

and when I get bored, I start watching a

lot of porn.

Don't I have the VR? Getting a bit bored

with the VR. As well.

I'm starting to think maybe it's a waste

of money. Maybe I could get a new game on

the VR, but I don't know what to get.

Draw something? I drew this.

Let me show you.

Do you like it?

I think it's good.

You banning words is a made-up story.

What? How did you type that? I thought

story was also a banned word. But I'm not

sure what video I could make this into.

His face,

it looks like a face on a penis.

Could give him skin color. Wait. Let me

color in his skin.

Look.

I wanted to do another illustrated

video, but I don't really have any topics

in mind.

He looks so weird.

Hello. In today's video,

gives a kiss.

It looks like a person moving.

Well, it looks weird. It's like 3D.

It looks like it's slightly 3D.

Yeah, that's my drawing. Oh,

why is it so windy?

I don't really have any ideas for drawing

that I could do.

I banned words. LMAO, fake, fake, fake.

What? You can type the banned words if you

send a Super Chat? How's that allowed?

Yeah, I'm kind of out of ideas for

everything— art, drawing,

videos. I think I'm just having a block,

creative block.

I don't even know what to do for videos.

That's why I'm just streaming.

It's weird.

2 years ago last year, I felt like I had

so many ideas for videos.

I'd wake up in the morning and I

didn't know which topic to choose for

today's video because there were so many I

wanted to make. And now I just— my mind is

blank.

It was just much more exciting making

videos 2 years ago.

I guess I felt like people cared more back

I don't know.

Now I feel like people don't care now, so

I feel like I don't really want to make

videos anymore.

It's a weird psychological thing that

messes you up.

Don't know what to do. I don't want to go

anywhere. Where would I go to?

Outside is just cold and ugly, and it

feels dangerous.

I don't feel safe here.

And travel seems complicated now.

I have to look up if you're allowed to

travel to places now.

But even when I was in Japan, it's not

like I liked going out all the time.

I never went anywhere in Japan just when

Chihiro said, let's go to blah blah blah.

None of those were my ideas. The cruise

ship, USJ, the Japanese inn,

Nara— those are all her ideas that she

said, let's go to blah blah blah. It was

never me. Saying, let's go there, let's go

here.

Did I get the new iPhone? No, I still

can't decide if I really want to or not.

I just can't really think of any place

that I really want to go to.

I guess some of the places in Germany were

nice. We went to Heidelberg. Has anyone

been there? It's like a little

historic-looking town.

And there's this big ruined castle which

looks pretty cool, like it's from Game of

Thrones. And there's a big river and you

can go up the mountain. It was quite

magical, actually.