Why I don’t get matches on tinder… [DCQgx3Bv1_U]

Some of you may have noticed that recently

I've been messing around with these beard

apps and these filter apps where you can

make yourself look bald and removes your

glasses. And the reason why I've been

messing around with the way I look is

because I've been in Manchester now for

nearly 4 months and I've only had one

date. I barely get any matches on Tinder

or Bumble or the other dating apps. I get

about 4 matches every month and I started

to think to myself, what is the problem

here? Because I never had any problems

getting matches in Asia. I used to get

dates in Japan all the time. Even in South

Korea, I could easily get matches and go

on dates. I went on like 7 dates in Korea

after I got divorced. Even in Thailand,

if I changed my Tinder location to

Thailand, I got about 100 matches in a few

days. So why can't I get any matches in

England or in the West? It's because my

look is just not really appealing or

attractive to the local women here. So I

did a bit of an experiment where I used a

picture of me where I've got no hair and

I've got facial hair and I've even removed

my glasses. And I use that on my Tinder

profile dating app. And I got way more

matches using that fake picture where I'm

bald and I have a beard, which to me is

just really a big surprise because I

always thought, you know, being bald is

unattractive and having a beard is scruffy

looking and unattractive because I was

mainly influenced by Japanese culture and

anime. When I was a teenager, and that's

what I grew up to believe to be attractive

as a guy, which is why, you know, I always

try and imitate those looks. You know,

those famous Japanese boy bands and the

celebrities in Japan or Korea always have

this kind of feminine baby face look, no

beard, kind of longish, puffy, fluffy

looking hair. And that's what I thought

was attractive, and that's what I feel

comfortable looking like. I wouldn't feel

comfortable looking bald or having a

shaved head or having a beard. Not that I

could grow one. I can grow a bit of facial

hair on my chin and above my lip, and it's

not really visible unless I don't shave

for like a week. And I started to realize

that there is a big disconnection between

what I think is attractive as a guy and

what everyone else thinks is attractive as

a guy. There's one time I pulled my hair

all back, revealing my forehead, and

everyone was like, You look way more

attractive like that, Daniel. Even when I

started making those fake bald picture

videos with the, the fake beard filter,

started getting messages from guys saying,

wow, Daniel, you look like an alpha. You

look like a Chad. You look way better.

And I was like, what? What are you talking

about? I think I look weird. I look like a

middle-aged man. But that's what women

here find attractive. They don't find boys

attractive. They find men attractive. And

it's a little bit frustrating because

usually I would just go to Japan. You

know, if the way you look isn't considered

to be attractive in the place that you

live, then just go somewhere to where it

is considered attractive. But the problem

is I can't. Japan's still closed. No one

knows when they're going to reopen. And

because of the whole you know what, it's

just made traveling a big pain in the

backside. Maybe people think it's weird

that I just can't seem to be able to get a

girlfriend in my own country. And maybe

people always thought that Don't you only

like Japanese women? I thought you didn't

like white women or Western women. And

that's never been true. I, I find white

women attractive as well. It's just they

don't find me attractive. I've never had

any luck finding a girlfriend in this

country, and I always thought that was

because I never really put much effort

into trying to find one. I always just

went to Japan. But now that I'm in a

situation where I'm forced to stay in my

own country and I can't really go to

Japan, which is where I'd love to go, My

dating life has just kind of grinded to a

halt and my, my value on the

dating marketplace has just plummeted to

zero. And it's just really made me lose a

lot of confidence in the way I look. I

don't really feel great. I don't have a

lot of self-esteem when it comes to my

appearance anymore. When you look back in

the past, I always felt really confident

with how I looked. I really liked the way

I looked. I thought I looked pretty cool

and I look great, but now I'm starting to

think the way I look just isn't helping

me. It's not, it's not doing me any favors

in the dating marketplace here. In Japan,

yeah, great. Japanese women, they, they

think I look cute and they like the way I

look because I'm, I'm not intimidating and

I'm not, you know, in your face with the

muscles and the big manly beard that kind

of scares some Japanese women. And to be

honest, I've lost a lot of confidence in

the way I look and my face, and that's one

of the reasons why I've kind of avoided

showing my face in videos recently, or I

put the beard filter on, or I just do a

voiceover with no footage. It's because I

just don't feel great about how I look

anymore, and I'm trying to rebuild my

confidence. I started washing my face

again I'm getting a lot of breakouts,

which I'm trying to hide using maximum

level skin filter. So it's just getting no

matches or barely any matches on dating

apps just makes you feel, makes you feel

rubbish. And maybe you could say, why

don't you just shave your head and grow a

beard or take some kind of, of medicine or

chemical thing treatment that enables you

to grow a beard? Some people saying go to

Turkey and take this random chemical thing

that makes you grow facial hair. And the

thing is, I don't want to look like that.

I don't want to be bald. I don't want to

shave my head and have a skinhead. I don't

want facial hair. That's not what I want

to look like. I like looking this way

because this is how I feel comfortable

looking. This is how I identify myself

appearance-wise. And yeah, I guess I have

to choose between looking the way I want

to look and being alone and single or not

having any success on apps,

or just completely changing my look and

not liking the way I look because I don't

want to look like that, and maybe, maybe

increasing my chances on the dating

marketplace. I guess in a way you could

say that I've decided to sacrifice my

chances of getting a girlfriend here in

order to look the way I want to look. And

maybe some people think that because of

BTS and K-pop, the popularity of K-pop and

K-drama, feminine-looking Asian guys are

starting to get more popular with women in

the West. And maybe that's kind of true,

but in a way it's also not really true at

all because you go out onto the streets in

the city and I'm pretty sure most people

don't even know who BTS is and they don't

even care about Korean pop culture.

There's a very small percentage of people

who are, who are into that stuff. And

maybe on the internet it seems like

there's loads of people who are into BTS.

And sure, there might be hundreds of

thousands, maybe even millions of fans of

BTS and the feminine Asian guy look.

But that's because it's the internet and

it makes small groups of people appear

very large because they will aggregate and

come together and make a lot of noise when

in reality they make up a very, very,

very tiny percentage of the actual

population of women that I would be

interested in dating. You go out onto the

streets and you could do a survey and ask

all these women, do you, do you like BTS?

Do you like K-pop guys? And I reckon

8.5 out of 10 of those people you ask

won't have any idea or any interest in

K-pop or BTS. I guess for now I've kind of

given up on the idea of going on dates. I

don't even feel like going on dates, to be

honest. I went on one when I first arrived

here and it wasn't really a date. We just

went for coffee and nothing came from it.

I'm just not really in the mood recently

and maybe I should just have a break from

dating because I've been nonstop dating

for the last 12 years. Ever since 2010,

I've just been nonstop dating like a

serial dater, hopping from one

relationship to another without any breaks

in between. Maybe I need a bit of a break.

So for now, I'm just going to wait and be

patient, be patient and wait until Japan

reopens. Then I can make my triumphant

return. It's kind of funny that what works

in the Japanese and Asian dating

marketplace doesn't work in the Western or

UK dating marketplace. Depending on the

region of the world, different styles and

looks are considered to be either

attractive or unattractive. And another

thing I get kind of annoyed with, which

you might be surprised about, is when

people say how young I look. You might

think, oh, why are you upset that people

think you look young? It's because as a

guy, looking young is not really a great

thing. When they say you look young, what

they really mean is you look immature.

You don't look like a mature man. And

every time I hear people say, You know,

they, they're not aware that this is

what they're implying. But when they say

that I look young, they're basically

saying you look like a kid, you look

immature, you don't look like a

responsible, experienced, well-seasoned

man that your average woman would be

attracted to. They're saying I look like a

little boy. And it took me a long time to

realize that being a man It's not looking

older that makes you more attractive. You

know that phrase, men age like wine

because wine tastes better as it gets

older. And that's because when most men

get older, they look more mature. They

start losing hair. Their hairline starts

receding. Their forehead gets bigger. And

in the West, having an exposed big

forehead is considered to be attractive.

And hiding your forehead with a fringe or

bangs, um, is considered feminine and soft

and unattractive. But in Japan and Asia,

having a fringe is attractive. You see,

I'm so confused because I was exposed to

so much Japanese and Asian pop culture

where I thought, you know, that's what's

attractive, so I'm going to copy them.

But then it doesn't work here, and now I'm

socially and culturally conditioned to

want to look a way that is considered to

be unattractive in my current place of

residence. And yeah, that kind of sucks.

So yeah, I'm not really having a great

time in Manchester. No luck, no success on

dating apps. And then the very few women

who do match me end up unmatching me

because either they realize how boring I

am to talk to and I'm really bad at having

conversations and showing interest in

people, or they find out what I do for a

living and No woman is impressed by a guy

who has a failed YouTube channel where he

makes videos about weird topics, and he

also does OnlyFans, and he also loses

thousands of pounds gambling on the stock

market. So the odds are not really stacked

in my favor. Should have just stayed