My problem with Mila (The Dutch girl)

So it's been about 5 days since Mila left,

and I thought now would be a good time to

talk about— to try and explain the problem

I had with her last week. If you remember

a few streams ago, we had a bit of an

argument, a bit of a falling out, because

apparently I said she was annoying and she

heard me say that on the stream and she

was really upset. So before I start

talking, let me just show you some clips

from that stream, which I took down now

because I felt kind of embarrassed. About

it after watching it again, and I felt

kind of ashamed of my reaction to the

situation at the time. But I'll show you

some clips from that stream now just so

you have some context. Oh, she's standing

outside.

She's watching the stream. So annoying.

Why is this so loud?

I saw what he said about me and I'm upset.

What did I say? That I'm annoying. I

didn't say that. So I'm not gonna

inconvenience you anymore and I'm leaving

tomorrow.

And I kind of want to slap you in the

face, but I'm not gonna do it. I didn't

say you're annoying.

Leave me alone. You're fake.

You know, guys, the reason why I like

Daniel is because he's honest on his

channel, but actually he's just faking it

and he's a motherfucker. And yes, I'm mad.

Are you done? Yes, I'm done.

I don't know.

I think she saw the beginning of the

stream before it disconnected.

Off. What?

Just wanted to say you don't have to be

scared that I'm going to murder you. I

already said what I needed to say. So

yeah,

can you stop the stream?

Why? Because dinner is going to be ready

soon and I don't want it to be awkward

downstairs. Okay.

Okay. Okay? Yeah. So stop it. I will.

What? I don't want

to have to explain myself to your mom, so

stop this stream before she's gonna ask me

questions.

What? Don't be annoying, just stop it.

I will. Why can you not be a normal human

being and just turn it off and talk?

Okay, I slapped you in the face, I'm

Do you want to slap me? No. So that was

the stream from last week. I think it was

2 streams ago, and I feel so stupid

watching it now. I feel so embarrassed

that I got so annoyed over something so

petty and so small, and I wasn't very nice

to her. I mean, she wanted me to stop

streaming so we could talk, and she wanted

to apologize to me, but I kept refusing to

turn off the stream, and I kept asking her

to go away. And after watching it now, I

do feel kind of silly, but at the time I

was really annoyed, and I think Maybe I

get annoyed at people over silly things

too easily. And maybe if you're thinking

about meeting me in the future and you're

worrying about this happening to you, let

me just say that I don't think there's a

single person in the world that I've met

who I didn't find annoying in at least one

or two ways. Everyone in the world does

things that annoys me, and it doesn't mean

that I hate the person or hate you. It

just means that I usually find at least a

few things annoying about people. Usually

it's because of how loud they are or

because of things they do to me that I

dislike. I think one of the main things I

dislike people doing is when they are

really loud in public. Now this may come

to you as a surprise since, you know, I do

YouTube and having attention is basically

what gets me money, but in real life I

don't really like drawing attention to

myself. So in real life I'm very quiet

outside in public, and I dislike it when

people are loud and they shout at me or

call for me in a really loud voice because

it just draws attention to us and everyone

looks up and they look at me or they look

at us and they can hear what we're saying,

and it's kind of embarrassing. And I just

prefer it if the person I'm with outside

in public is not really, really loud. If

it's in an empty field or an empty

supermarket where there's no people, then

I don't really mind because there's no one

around. But if we're in a confined space

where there's lots of other people, I

don't really like bothering people. So I

don't really like to be loud in public

spaces is what I'm trying to say. And the

other reason why I was so annoyed during

that whole argument thing with Mila was

because she kind of became physical with

me when we were arguing, and I don't

mind it when girls are physical with me.

I actually feel kind of flattered that

they feel, um, they feel comfortable

enough with me to be physical. But when

we're arguing and it's not

in a playful setting, I don't really like

being physically touched because I'm not

really in a playful mood during those

times. Something my ex-wife used to do a

lot when we had arguments, she'd get

really angry and then she would put her

hands around my neck, or she would slap

me, or she would, you know, bonk me on the

head. And it wasn't really painful, it was

more— it was just kind of annoying. And

I'd prefer it if, um, I'd prefer it

if my physical boundaries were not

violated when we're having some kind of

argument. And I know that I—

it's probably my fault for making that

person angry, so angry in the first place,

but I don't think it matters. I don't

think it matters how angry you are or

what the reason is. You should never

become physically aggressive with the

person you're arguing with during an

argument. You should express your anger in

any other way. For example, you could

shout or swear or maybe break something,

but I just think you should never touch

the person you're arguing with because

then that just leads to bones getting

broken, blood being spilt, and it's just

not pretty. So after

I finished the livestream from that day,

I turned it off, I went down for dinner,

and me and Mila had dinner in silence.

And then after dinner, we had a good long

talk about what just happened, and we

apologized to each other. So everything

was fine for the last few days. We, we

made up and everything went back to

normal, which was great. Would have been

greater if that whole kerfuffle never

happened in the first place, but since we

can't go back in time and change things,

that's unavoidable now. I think the

reason, the main reason why it happened in

the first place was because on that day I

just felt really moody and kind of

irritable, and I started streaming and I

started ranting, and you know me, I start

to get a bit carried away when I start

ranting, and I started ranting about her,

which I shouldn't have. And maybe I said

too much and I was too harsh. And when

she burst into my room confronting me for

saying those things, maybe I should have

just said sorry and I should have backed

down. But instead I kind of got defensive

and I got annoyed, more annoyed back

at her, and that just made everything much

worse.

Thank you. See whether you like it. I like

it. It's the pain tea because last time I

tried it, it's nice. It's the pain one.

Can I have some? It tastes good.

Take this. Put it in my bottle. No. Why?

Don't be stupid. Try it. No, I don't want

it. Sip. No. Can't put in

your bottle. Why not?

That's ridiculous.

Hey, sip it. I go

and get a straw.

Are they nice? Yeah, I like it. It's so

good. Tastes like

strawberry.