Some people ACTUALLY think I'm a girl

So I was waiting behind the till this

morning for my shift to end, and the

coworker who comes in at 6 AM to do the

morning shift, she came in, and then she

came behind the till, and we were both

standing behind the till, just me and her.

And then this customer comes and he says,

good morning, ladies. Ladies, plural,

an S on the end of ladies. Um, there's

only one lady there, and it wasn't me. I

guess he thought that I was a lady. It's

really weird. It was really awkward. I

just kind of pretended I didn't hear and I

walked off because it was the end of my

shift. But a lot of people actually think

I'm a girl. They're usually older men or

older women. And when I had longer hair,

this used to happen a lot more. I used to

have pretty long hair. It was like down to

here, down— it was shoulder length. I

could do this with my hair and it would

reach round and I would get comments

like that all the time. I would go to the

post office and the person behind the till

would say, hello young lady, or hello

miss, and it was really awkward because

when I start speaking I have a guy's

voice. And other things would happen like

when I was walking outside along the

street and if there was a little child,

maybe 5 to 8 years old, and it's walking

with its parents and they walk past me—

this happened a few times— the child would

go, Mummy, is that a man or a lady? It was

really funny, and the parents would be

really like confused because they could

kind of tell that I'm not a girl, and they

would say something like, I don't see any

ladies, or they would just not say

anything because they would feel like

it'll be rude if they replied to that.

And I would just be laughing because the

kid looks so confused, like they can't

tell if I'm a girl or a boy. There was

this other time I was in a shop and I was

waiting at the till, waiting for the sales

assistant to come, and then she came

along. She said, sorry about that, miss.

And then she said, mister. And then she

said, miss again. It's like she couldn't

make up her mind, and I just interrupted

her and I said, um, mister. And I laughed.

It was so awkward. This used to happen

quite a lot. Ever since I cut my hair

shorter, it's, it's been happening less,

but now it's getting a bit longer and

people are starting to get confused again.

So for my look like a man challenge, I'm

gonna shave off all my hair. No, I'm just

kidding. I'd never shave off my hair.

Okay, what about if we get to 2,000

subscribers? I'll shave off all my hair.

People keep telling me, why don't you grow

a beard? I can't grow a beard if I don't

shave. I do shave a bit because I do get

some hairs. I just get like a few black

hairs under my chin and that's it, or some

black hairs here. It's not gonna grow into

a beard. It'll just look like a few

whiskers and it just looks ridiculous.

Even if I could grow a full-blown beard,

it would look really weird. It wouldn't

suit me, and I'm not really a huge fan of

beards. If it's like a full-blown massive

beard, I feel like I want to shave it off.

I want to cut it off. If it's just like a

bit, like, and it's styled and it looks

nice and clean, then it does suit some

guys and makes them look more attractive.

But for me, I can't— I couldn't imagine

me— I couldn't imagine me— I couldn't

imagine myself having a beard. It would

just be so strange. I feel like this is

one of the main reasons why I have no

success in, or very little success in,

attracting Western girls, because I feel

like Western girls, the majority of them,

prefer the man to look manly, to look

masculine, to look like an alpha male kind

of guy. And to be honest, I feel like

Asian men and half-Asian men, they

probably are the most feminine looking out

of all the races of male humans. Oh, why

don't you change your hairstyle then? Why

don't you have a more masculine looking

hairstyle? Because I don't want to change

my hairstyle. This is the hairstyle I

like. I chose it for a specific reason,

because I like it. I've tried shorter

hairstyles And I hated the way it looked

when I looked in the mirror. I just felt

like, ugh, what is that? That doesn't suit

me. My coworker actually said to me that

my hairstyle looks like the kind of

hairstyle a 10-year-old boy would have.

And I was like, in Japan, majority of men

have hairstyles like this, so fuck you.

No, I didn't actually say that. I just

laughed awkwardly. My coworker is just too

honest. There's this other customer who

comes in and he cycles from his house to

work and he cycles about 30 miles a day,

but he still looks kind of fat because he

comes in, he buys like 5 sausage rolls,

and my coworker just said to him, no one

would believe that you cycle 30 miles a

day because you look so fat. And that

customer, he just kind of laughed, but I

could kind of see it in his face, he

looked a bit pissed off. This is another

reason why I felt more comfortable in

Japan. It's because I can't really think

of another country that idolizes

feminine-looking men as much as Japan

does. I mean, look at the celebrities and

the pop idols, the idol groups, the music,

the boy bands, the actors. From a

Western guy's point of view, they kind of

look like women. The hairstyles, the

fashion, the baby faces. I think that if

you're a beta male and you want to improve

your chances in the dating scene, you can

either try and make yourself, turn

yourself into an alpha male, or you can

just accept the fact that you're, you're

beta and go to places where beta males are

accepted. And for me, that place was

Japan. Sure, I could go to the gym, I

could change my hairstyle, I could change

the clothes I wear, I could try and change

my personality, but would I be comfortable

being someone like that. I don't really

feel like I want to be that kind of

person. I feel like I want to be myself,

and rather than turn into something I

don't want to turn into, I'd rather just

look for places that are more accepting of

the type of person that I want to be, if

that makes sense. I don't want to have to

become something that I'm not comfortable

becoming just to get the approval of other

people. So in conclusion, some people

think I look like a girl. Most people

don't. I don't really mind it. It's a bit

awkward, and I don't really feel like

changing the way I look. If you're trying

to sell lemons in a place where people

don't really want lemons, you're gonna

have a tough time. You could try and paint

your lemons orange and pass them off as

oranges, or you could just move to a place

where lemons are in demand.