The FATTEST girl I ever smashed

When people think of a Japanese girl,

most people would probably imagine a cute,

slim, young-looking anime girl. A lot of

people seem to think that there's not many

overweight people in Japan, and there's a

stereotype of Japanese people being slim

and in good shape. And although that

stereotype is true 86% of the time, if you

go onto Tinder, you'll soon quickly

realize that this stereotype isn't 100%

true. 7 out of 10 of the girls I had

cheesecake with on Tinder in Japan were

overweight. And I thought to myself, but

where are all these slim Japanese girls

like the stereotypes say? For some reason,

I just couldn't match these slim girls

that everyone's talking about, and I

became kind of like a fat girl magnet. So

this is a story of one of the fattest

Japanese girls that I matched on Tinder

and had cheesecake with. It was around

October in 2017. I matched

this pretty good-looking girl. I saw her

face in her photos and I thought, she has

a very nice-looking, symmetrical,

well-balanced balanced face with nice

features. She was around 32 years old and

she worked in some kind of beauty salon

place. But the problem was she only had

photos of her face. There were absolutely

zero photos of her body, and all of the

photos of her face were quite zoomed in so

you couldn't even see her shoulders. At

the time, I didn't realize this was a

tactic used by overweight people to hide

their overweightness. I thought it was a

pretty normal-looking profile and she

looked quite nice, so we matched, talked,

and decided to meet up. When we met up and

I saw her for the first time in real life,

oh my goodness, I was so shocked

and wanted to go home straight away. She

was absolutely massive. Now, you might

think I'm over-exaggerating, but really,

she was very, very big. She was huge,

even for American standards. The size of

her thighs alone were bigger than my

actual torso. As you can imagine, I was

extremely disappointed and didn't feel any

attraction to her. But since I was a nice

guy, I didn't say anything about it, and I

didn't make up some kind of excuse about

needing to go home or forgetting some kind

of appointment, and I just went along with

the date, and I tried to be as friendly as

I could be. First of all, we just walked

about and we made small talk, and then we

went to buy food. We had Mos Burger,

which is a kind of burger restaurant chain

in Japan. But instead of having the food

at the restaurant, she suggested that we

take the food away and then eat it at her

workplace. She said she was the manager of

some kind of beauty nail hair salon, and

it was closed until 7 PM or 8 PM in the

evening, and she didn't have any customers

or clients. So the place was empty and we

could have some privacy and have our

burgers and have a bit of a talk. That was

the plan. However, other things also

happened. We got to the place and went

into an elevator, and the elevator took us

pretty high up into the building, maybe

the 15th floor. I had never been so high

up in a big building in Japan before, so

it was pretty exciting for me. We got out

of the elevator and entered her hair salon

workplace. It was a fairly large room. It

had those fancy chairs you find at

hairdressers, and there are lots of

mirrors and sinks, and there were a few of

these kind of massage tables. And the

view was amazing. You had this spectacular

view of the city, and the sun was setting.

There was a lovely orange glow reflecting

off of the surrounding buildings in the

city, and it was a very nice sight to see.

We sat down at this small round table in

her workplace, and there were chairs on

either side, and we sat opposite each

other eating our Mossburgers, and we

talked about Some random things I don't

really remember now. And I was starting to

feel a bit bored after all of this

meaningless conversation. And when I start

to get bored, I start craving cheesecake.

And the problem with sitting at this

little table opposite each other, it was

kind of difficult to actually do anything

because there wasn't really any

opportunity to make a move on the

cheesecake when she's on the other side of

the table. The table was a physical

blockage to me. I started panicking. The

minutes were ticking by, and I thought to

myself, if I let this carry on like this,

nothing's gonna happen. And I can't make a

physical move, so what if I just asked

her? So I plucked up the courage and I

said to her, can I kiss you? And this was

kind of embarrassing because usually guys

don't ask this question. If they want to

kiss, they'll just kiss without asking.

They'll make a move. But I wasn't really

in the position to be able to make a move.

My only available move was to ask her,

and she kind of just laughed at me and

said no. And I felt so crushed and

defeated and embarrassed and humiliated.

And to be honest, I just wanted to go home

because I thought at that moment, at that

point, nothing was gonna happen. She just

rejected me. But then about 5 minutes

later, she picks up her chair and moves it

next to me. So we're now sitting side by

side, and then I start showing her photos

of my cats on my phone. And that is when

the cheesecaking started happening. So I

thought to myself, this is my second

chance. This time I'm not going to ask

her, and this time there's no table

blocking the way. She's right in front of

me. Just take some cheesecake. So I KISS'd

her, and then she KISS'd me. Me back,

which was a surprise because earlier she

just said no, but she seemed to be okay

with it now. Sometimes girls just don't

make any sense. They say no, but then they

mean yes. And then I put my hand on her

cheesecake and it was wet and slimy,

which was a surprise because nothing has

really happened until about a few minutes

ago. So was she already thinking about

having cheesecake? I didn't know that I

was such a good kisser,

but the cheesecake was ready to go and

I didn't really waste any time.

Unfortunately, it was kind of difficult to

have cheesecake on those chairs because

they were kind of tiny chairs and she was

a very, very large lady. So I stood up and

then I took her hand and I looked around

for a convenient, comfy place. To have

the cheesecake. And you might be thinking,

what about the massage tables? Well, they

were a little bit high up and they had all

coverings on them. They didn't look very

comfortable, so I didn't really think of

the massage tables as a good place to have

the cheesecake. So I looked around her

hair salon for a bit, couldn't find

anything suitable to, to get

onto, and there were no big sofas or

chairs anywhere. So I just thought Oh,

let's just have it on the floor. Why not?

The floor looks soft enough. It's carpet.

It'll be fine. So we had the cheesecake

right there on the floor next to the table

where we were eating at, and it lasted

about 10 or 15 minutes, and I

couldn't really control myself, and I

finished inside of the cheesecake, which

she was not very happy about. And then I

got up, got dressed, and I washed my face

because I had makeup all over my face

because it rubbed off from her face. And

then I went home. I left. She said she had

a customer coming in about an hour's time.

So I said, okay, I'll go home. I'll

message you later. I didn't message her,

but she started messaging me talking about

what had just happened. And it seemed like

she wanted a proper relationship, not just

a bit of fun. And I thought to myself,

well, I don't really think I could ever

see myself being in a proper relationship

with someone who's 5 times my size.

And I ended up just blocking her without

saying anything because, because that was

just easier and I didn't want to hurt her

feelings by telling her the truth.

Sometimes telling people the truth is not

the best thing to do. It's not the best

idea. And you can just avoid hurting

people's feelings if you block them. And

most people, if you block them, they'll

get the message that you don't want to

talk to them anymore. But some people

don't understand that and carry on trying

to message you. Which is a completely

different story that I won't start getting

into now. I think it was probably the

weirdest place I ever had cheesecake in.

I've never done it in someone's workplace

or just some random building. Usually,

usually it happens in someone's home, in

the bedroom at least. But it was an

interesting experience. Definitely in my

top, top 5 interesting experiences that

I've had in Japan.