My advice to married men

So recently PewDiePie has gotten married,

and I wanted to make a video from one

married man to another married man, just

giving some advice, passing on some tips

and tricks that I've learnt along the way.

I've been married for about a year and a

half now. Wow, time goes so quickly,

doesn't it? It just flies by. So I want to

make a video just passing on some things

I've learnt to PewDiePie and any newlyweds

or men who are about to get married.

Okay, so the number one thing you have to

remember is you are always wrong, even if

you're correct, even if you're right,

when it comes to arguing with your wife.

Basically, you're always going to be

wrong. No, it doesn't matter if you're

actually right. It doesn't matter if

everything you're saying is completely

logical. Just admit you're wrong even when

you're not. It will make things go so much

more smoothly. And never ever say anything

negative about your wife in front of your

YouTube audience, because it doesn't

matter what you've said she's done— she

could have driven a bus into a flock of

sheep and they'll still take her side over

your side. They will take her side over

your side every single time, because

unfortunately we live in a society where

women are always right and us men, we're

stupid and dumb and we make all the

mistakes. Okay, advice number 2: you're

going to have to accept that you don't

really have any control over your own

house or home or the place you're living

in. You might be paying half the rent, or

it might even be your place, but when you

live with a woman, she has complete

control over the entire place, and you

need her permission to do anything. For

example, it's completely okay for her to

change the decorations, completely

redecorate the entire rooms, buy anything

she wants to buy. She doesn't need to ask

your permission, but as soon as you want

to get something, like a love doll, for

example, you need her permission, and she

probably won't let you because she'll

think it's weird and disgusting. But it's

completely okay for her to have anything

she wants, even if you dislike it. For

example, her weird, ugly-looking tissue

box cover. So basically, she's allowed to

have anything she wants, even if you

dislike it or think it's ugly or looks

weird. But as soon as you want something

that's a little bit strange, you won't be

able to get it if she thinks it's weird or

creepy. So say goodbye to your freedom

because basically it's going to be like

living with your parents again. Can't buy

this, can't buy that, can't do this,

can't do that. Advice number 3: never

ever talk about how cute other

girls or other women are. Never talk about

how attractive you found your

ex-girlfriend or Never talk about how

attractive you find some woman that's on

TV when your wife is in the same room.

She will be very, very unhappy if you say

stuff like that, especially if she thinks

the woman is ugly. Sometimes the kind of

woman that you find attractive, your wife

might think is completely unattractive.

And if you say an unattractive woman is

attractive, well, she's going to be very,

very pissed off. Sometimes your wife might

ask you if you think this woman is

attractive. For example, you might be

watching TV together and there might be a

woman that was on TV and she'll ask you,

do you think that woman is attractive?

Never ever say yes. Always say,

uh, I guess so, maybe,

not really. Never say that a woman who

looks nothing like your wife looks

attractive. Looks attractive because your

wife will get upset and she might think,

how come you think someone who looks

nothing like me looks attractive? Maybe

you don't actually find me attractive and

maybe that woman is more your type. So

what you have to do is you have to pretend

that every single woman on the entire

planet apart from your wife, you have to

just pretend that they're all unattractive

and ugly, and the only woman you're

allowed to feel attracted to is your wife.

She's your 10 out of 10. She's the most

perfect, beautiful angel in the entire

universe. But it's completely okay if she

wants to talk about how hot some guy is

that she saw on TV, or how attractive

David Beckham is. And don't even try

arguing about it, because remember point

number 1: you are always wrong. Because

you're a stupid man, and everything you

think and say is stupid and dumb and

doesn't make sense, and she's always

right. Even though you're paying half the

rent, you can't even get a love doll. I

don't even understand why she's so against

me getting one because I had one before.

Okay, it wasn't as big, it was just the

torso, but she thought it was funny. I put

it in the closet in a box. She didn't even

notice it was there until weeks later,

and then when she did find out, she was

laughing about it. She took pictures and

she was sending it to her friends. It was

like a big joke, but now I want to get a

full body big, you know, You know, a big

life-size one. She gets all angry. I don't

know why. She said it's weird and creepy

and she doesn't want one in her house. I

said, I'll put it in its box and I'll put

it into the closet. You won't even notice

it's here. I don't understand what the big

problem is. So we had this big argument.

She said it's her apartment and if I want

to get something like that, I have to get

my own apartment. It's just like I'm

living with my mum again. When I was

living in England with my mum, couldn't do

this or that. She would nag me all the

time, and then if I argued back, she would

say, oh, it's my house. If you don't like

it, move out. So I moved out, came back to

Japan, and now I just have the same

problem again, but with my wife.

She says it's her apartment even though

I'm paying half the rent. It's just so

frustrating because it just feels like I

don't have anywhere to call my own place.

I don't have my own place that I can do

what I want. I just feel like I'm always

living in someone else's place, either my

parents' place Or my wife's place. I wish

I had my own place. Okay, point number 6:

never tell the truth. And you might be

thinking, well, Daniel, you should always

tell the truth. That's the right thing to

do. Remember point number 1: you are never

right. You are a stupid man. You're always

wrong. So never tell the truth. If she

asks you things like, do I look fat?

Always say yes. If she asks you if This

dress looks nice on me. Always say yes,

it looks fabulous. And never, for the love

of God, never ever rate her 6 out of 10

for her looks. Always 8 out of 10, 9 out

of 10, 10 out of 10. Never ever rate her

below a 7, even if you think that's a fair

score. No, never ever rate her below a 7

because she'll come home from work and she

will beat you. Hello and welcome back to

another exciting Cooking with Daniel

episode. Today we'll be making a delicious

broccoli and potato soup. It's very, very

simple. You just need some broccoli and

some potato and a few other ingredients

for seasoning. As you can see, I've

already cut up the broccoli and potato and

they are boiling in a pot of water. After

the broccoli and potato have finished

cooking, transfer all of it into a

blending machine. I've mixed chicken stock

and basil, parsley, black pepper, and some

other seasonings into a cup, and now I'm

going to add that into the mixture. Now

that we're ready to blend, start pulsing

gently until it turns into a thick paste.

If it starts to get stuck, you can use a

very long chopstick to move things about.

You can also add milk or cream to the

mixture to make it more creamy.

Okay, now that everything has blended down

into a smooth paste, Carefully remove the

lid of the blending machine and transfer

the contents over into a bowl of your

choice.

For some extra flavor, we're going to fry

some bacon and add that to the soup. Did

you know bacon dates back to 1500 BCE?

Yes, the Chinese were the first to cook

salted pork bellies more than 3,000 years

ago. This makes bacon one of the world's

oldest processed meats. The Romans called

it potasso. The Romans made potasso, as

they called it, by boiling salted pig

shoulder with figs and then seasoning the

mixture with pepper sauce. The word bacon

actually comes from the Germanic root bac-

and refers to the back of the pig.

The English then adopted the word around

the 12th century, naming the dish baekoun.

Back then, the term referred to any pork

product, but by the 14th century, baekoun

referred specifically to the cured meat.

The phrase bringing home the bacon goes

back centuries. These days, the phrase

refers to making money, but its origins

have nothing to do with income. In 12th

century England, churches would award a

flitch, or a side of bacon, to any married

man who swore before God that he and his

wife had not argued for a year and a day.

Men who brought home the bacon were seen

as exemplary citizens and husbands. And

that, my friends, is how you make the

perfect broccoli and bacon potato soup.

And that,

my friends, is how you make a broccoli

bacon soup. Try it at home by

yourself.

I think it looks quite good.

Let's give it a try.

It's actually very nice.

It's creamy. You can taste the broccoli,

taste the chicken stock.

Hmm, the bacon.

It's very good.

I don't like to blow my own trumpet, but

it's actually pretty tasty. Would you like

Open wide.