How I got bullied at school

I used to get bullied quite a lot when I

went to secondary school, and I wanted to

make a video to talk about my experiences

being bullied and how I think it's

affected my life. I didn't really have any

problems with bullying when I went to

primary school, which was between the ages

of 6 to 11. I actually had a lot of

friends in primary school. I was a pretty

normal kid. I was talkative, sociable. I

enjoyed making a fool of myself to make

other people laugh. I actually enjoyed

going to school to see my friends and to

hang out with them, play games with them,

talk to them. It wasn't really until I got

to around the age of 11 where things

started to go downhill. After I finished

primary school, I moved on to secondary

school, and I went to this school called

The Cornwallis, which was actually a

pretty good secondary school, and lots of

my friends from primary school also went

there. So I had my friends from primary

school, and I actually enjoyed going to

this school. I was quite happy there. I

looked forward to going to school because

I had my friends and I wasn't all alone.

Unfortunately, around that time, my

grandfather passed away, and my dad

decided to move us all into my granddad's

house, and we had to move house from

Sutton Valence to Harrietsham, and the

Cornwallis School was a bit too far from

Harrietsham. It was a bit too far for my

mum to drive me to school every morning,

and my dad decided to move me out of the

Cornwallis and into a new school which was

nearer to our new house. This school was

called Swadlins, and this is basically

where my nightmare begins.

So I started school at Swadlins, new

school for me, around the age of 11.

Obviously, I didn't know anyone. I was

completely new to the area. I was— I

was really scared and I was really shy. I

was put into this class. All the other

kids were screaming wild,

crazy. I found it really difficult making

friends again. I was scared to talk to the

other kids. They all seemed kind of

intimidating. I kept to myself. I sat by

myself during break. I ate my lunch by

myself. I didn't really put any effort

into trying to talk to the other kids. I

didn't try to become friends with anyone,

and I guess this made me look kind of

weird to them, and the other kids started

teasing me. They made fun of me because I

was always alone, because I didn't have

any friends, because I never spoke to

anyone. Also, the fact that I was half

Asian and that I looked extremely Asian

and very different to the other kids

didn't really help. They started to make

fun of my physical appearance as I already

felt like an outsider because I was new to

the area, new to the school, and now I

felt like even more of an outsider because

the other kids were constantly reminding

me of how weird I looked compared to

everyone else and how different I looked.

And because of this, I actually started to

hate the other kids. I didn't want to be

their friends. I looked down on them. I

thought they were uncivilized.

And as you can imagine, this just made

things worse. It made me even more

unlikable, made the other kids hate me and

want to tease me even more. I used to hate

going to school so much. I hated seeing

the other kids' faces. I hated hearing

their voices. I hated the way they spoke,

constantly swearing. They sounded so

low-class. I guess you could say the

bullying wasn't that bad since I was never

beaten up or physically punched or ganged

up on. The, the worst that ever happened

to me was, well, there was this one time

when 4 kids picked me up and then dragged

me around in the field when it was covered

in snow. That was the worst it ever was

physically. Apart from that, usually I

would just get tripped up from behind or

slapped on the back of the head. I was

never really beaten to a bloody pulp.

Most of the bullying consisted of

name-calling and racial abuse. They would

often tell me to go back to China or some

other random Asian country. And they would

make fun of my eyes and my face and my

physical features. My uncle also worked at

that school as a teacher, and sometimes he

would be the teacher of my class, and the

other kids would make fun of me because—

because we had the same surname, but we

looked nothing like each other. Even the

other teachers used to make fun of me.

They would give me nicknames like

Motormouth or Chatterbox, and the other

kids would copy the teachers and call me

those nicknames as well. The bullying

carried on until I was around 15 or 16.

After a few years at the school, I finally

managed to make friends, and I made about

3 or 4 friends, and I felt accepted into a

group of people. And after I made friends—

after I made myself a few friends and I

seemed less of a weirdo who was just by

himself all the time, the other kids

started to bully me less and less. I guess

they kind of saw that I wasn't such a

weirdo and I was just like all the other

kids with friends, playing, chatting, and

laughing. And things, things at school

got a lot better after that. I think it

was also partly because, well, since I had

friends, then I became less, I became less

of a target compared to when I was just a

loner. It's a lot easier to single out and

bully a kid when he's all by himself all

the time and he doesn't have any friends

to stand up for himself. But it becomes a

lot harder to fuck someone when they do

have a group of friends surrounding them.

I guess the lesson to be learned from this

is to try and make friends sooner. I

should have made more efforts to make

friends and make myself less of a target

for the bullies. I never opened up about

my bullying experiences to my parents

until quite recently, actually. I think I

was in my mid-20s when I finally told my

dad about how I was bullied and how much I

hated school. And surprisingly, he said

that he had absolutely no idea that I was

being bullied. He had no idea because,

well, I didn't tell him. And I told him

that the reason why I didn't tell him was

because I felt ashamed about it. I felt

embarrassed that I was a loser at school

and the other kids didn't like me and I

wasn't popular. And He said that if I

had told him, then he would have done

something about it. He said he would have

had a word with the teachers, or he would

have moved me to a different school. And I

said to him, that wouldn't really have

made much of a difference. Even if he

moved me to a different school, the same

thing would have happened. I would have

just been bullied again by a different

group of kids in a different place. I

think the main problem, the reason why I

was getting bullied so much, wasn't

because of the school, or because of the

teachers, or because of the other kids. I

think it was mainly because of me. The

problem was me. I— I was weird. It wasn't

just because I looked different, it was

because my personality was weird. I was a

weird kid compared to the other kids. I

wasn't this outgoing, bubbly, friendly kid

that I used to be. I used to be like that

when I was around ages 6 to 11, and the

other kids liked me. I was popular back in

primary school, and that was because of my

attitude and my personality. I think the

reason why I was bullied so much was

because my personality and my attitude

just became bad. I, I turned

into a very negative, resentful person,

and the other kids picked up on that and

they hated me for that, quite

understandably. I think in life, when it

comes to wanting to be liked, if you want

to be liked, you have to present yourself

as a likable person. If you present

yourself as a negative, bitter,

resentful, hateful person, then obviously

you're going to get back what you put out,

and people are going to treat you in a

negative way if they see you as a negative

person who isn't likable. I used to like

to blame my Asian appearance on why I got

bullied so much. I used to think that,

oh, because I'm half Asian, because I look

Asian, that's why I got bullied so much.

Maybe if I was white, then I wouldn't get

bullied so much, but I don't think that

would be True. I think even if I was

white, I still would have gotten bullied.

Maybe not as badly, or maybe in a slightly

different way, but I think even if I was

white, I still would have been bullied

because I still would have had the same

negative outlook. Sometimes people ask me,

Daniel, how do you deal with all the hate

you get on YouTube? Isn't it tough when

you get all these people calling you names

and saying horrible things? And yes, it is

tough, but I think my experiences being

bullied when I was a kid kind of helped

me. Because I've had so much experience

being bullied, I kind of learned how to

handle it, how to just ignore it, how to

brush it off on my shoulder. So nowadays

when I go on YouTube and I get a bunch of

angry people writing horrible things in

the comments, it doesn't really affect me.

Thanks to all of the bullying that I

received when I was a child, it's kind of

helped me develop a thick skin, which is

very useful for the line of work that I do

now, which is basically exposing myself on

the internet. You really need to have a

thick skin if you want to follow this kind

of path down, down the YouTube road. If

you want to make videos on YouTube,

personal videos like the ones I make, if

you don't have a thick skin like I do,

then you're just not going to last a

single day. You're going to get all this

hate and trolling and you won't be able to

handle it, and you'll just be driven off

of the internet, kind of like that girl.

So now that I think about it, in a way,

even though I didn't enjoy being bullied

when I was at school, in a way it's kind

of been beneficial for me to have all that

experience being bullied. Because now I

can put all of that experience of how to

ignore people, how to just not pay

attention to people who are trying to get

your attention by trying to trigger you.

Now that I have that experience and

know-how, I can apply that to my work,

which is putting videos onto YouTube and

not having a mental breakdown. The problem

is when you start letting people get under

your skin, they'll get under your skin and

you won't be able to get them out from

under your skin, and they'll just start

drilling a hole into your flesh and boring

away, infesting your arm, and then you'll

have to get amputated. Anyway, that was my

story on how I was bullied. It wasn't fun.

Message to kids: don't bully other kids.

It's not nice. You wouldn't like it if you

got bullied, so don't do it. And I think

in conclusion, the effect of The effects

that the fucking had on me was basically

it caused me to hate people. And even to

this day, I don't like people. They're

irritating, they're annoying, they're

loud, they look weird.