guess whos happy ;)

Testing, testing,

testing.

Can you hear me?

Guess who's happy?

I'm just in a very good mood.

Got all my work done for today.

It's a very

nice day today. Isn't it?

And I bought myself a little treat.

Yes, I'm wearing different clothes. This

is my red, red jumper that my dad

used to never wear, but it was his. I

think it looks quite nice. I don't usually

wear red, so it's a nice change for me.

Oh, I love being alive.

Let's just say the whole Turkish girl

thing is quite funny. I made

a video talking about it.

I think I'll upload it tomorrow because

today's a bit too soon. It's only been 2

days since my last upload. And she's

saying that she reported the video, but I

don't know if YouTube would do anything.

And even if YouTube did do something, all

I have to do is blur out her face. They

wouldn't give me a strike for it.

So quickly watch it before it gets taken

down or before I have to blur it.

I got myself a nice little

present on Amazon. And it's coming today.

Hopefully it comes soon, otherwise I don't

really have much to do. So the Turkish

girl is spilling the beans on everything

on Reddit. Oh, is that Amazon?

Oh, oh, oh! Who's that? Oh, I better

not show that. Oh, he's, he's coming to

take my lawnmower. Don't worry, he's not

stealing it. I'm just not sure if I should

show his van because it has his phone

number on it. Oh, thank you, James C.

Yang. Oh, don't park there.

Shit. Can you see It

has his company name on the van.

If I put it here— fuck.

Shit, he rang the doorbell.

Should I answer the door?

I guess I should answer the door.

Oh.

Where is he?

Is he just gonna take it?

That's my dad's lawnmower.

Why are you taking it?

My mum bought a new £3,000 fancy

lawnmower. Because her legs are too short

for my dad's one.

That was actually my granddad's lawnmower.

It's really old.

My granddad's lawnmower, say goodbye.

Handed down to my father,

and now it's gone.

My mum spent so much money on a brand new

lawnmower. It's quite nice looking, looks

like one of those Mario Kart things. It's

very fancy. I think we

should just let the grass grow. I mean,

that's what grass is supposed to do.

Grass is naturally supposed to grow and

and become long. You're not supposed to

cut it. Why don't you just let the lawn

grow? Why does it have to be mowed?

Because then there'll be insects. There's

insects everywhere anyway. Who cares?

Just let it grow. It'll be more

interesting. Why do you have to keep

cutting it? I don't understand why there's

this obsession with having short grass.

Please don't ring the doorbell again.

If it was all up to me, I'd just leave it.

I'd leave it. I wouldn't cut it.

And maybe I'd cut a path like a maze in

the long grass. Then I can strip naked and

roll around in it and no one would be able

to see. Yeah, so the Turkish girl

has been spilling the beans on everything

on Reddit, in the comments, on the

livestream chat, even though she said to

me not to talk about it and not to talk

about her and not make a video about her.

Oh fuck. But then she is going around in

the comments and Reddit telling everyone

what happened anyway, so I take it she

doesn't care if I tell people what

happened. And I think the only reason,

reason she doesn't want me to talk about

it is because she She doesn't want me to

make content and money off of her. That

seems to be the only problem. She

obviously doesn't care about privacy

because she has her own YouTube channel

and she has a couple videos on it where

you can see her face. So obviously she

doesn't care about her privacy, otherwise

she wouldn't be showing her face, would

she? So she's only doing it— she's only

telling me not to make videos about her

because she doesn't want me to use her for

content. And make money.

Well, I was gonna stay quiet, but then she

started saying all these things about me,

saying stuff like I made her bleed.

If she just did what the German girl did

and kept quiet, then I wouldn't have

anything to talk about. But now she's just

adding fuel to the fire, isn't she? At

least the German girl, she just vanished.

I didn't even have to block her.

Vanished. I mean, the German girl vanished

and then didn't hear anything from her.

She never commented, didn't say anything,

and I had nothing to talk about. So now I

have more things to talk about because she

keeps responding.

Her YouTube channel has a couple videos

where you can see her face. There's not

nothing on it.

And then she's complaining that I ignored

her and I wasn't interested in talking to

her and I made her feel upset. And she was

crying apparently. I didn't even know she

was crying. I was on my laptop, she was

behind me on the bed— not that bed— and

then I could hear sniffling, sniffing,

but I thought that was because she was

ill. She was ill. And coughing on the

first, first day.

So I thought she was just sniffing because

she had a runny nose from a cold. I didn't

think she was crying. Why would she be

crying just because I wasn't paying her

attention? I had no idea she would start

crying about it. And then if she wanted to

talk so badly, why didn't she just sit

next to me and talk to me instead of

sitting on the bed sulking like a baby

waiting for me to talk to her? So stupid.

And then apparently it's all my fault,

all my fault, because I didn't pay

attention to her and I was playing Rainbow

Six. Yeah, it's not her fault at all.

It's not as if she could have put down her

phone and then asked me some questions.

To get a conversation going.

She didn't make any effort either after

the first day. She made a bit of effort,

but then after the first day,

she just was on her phone all the time. I

put a movie on Netflix hoping that we

could watch it together and maybe we could

talk about the movie whilst we watch it,

but she didn't even watch the movie. She

watched about 10 seconds of it and then

she went back to her phone and she didn't

even sit next to me to watch the movie.

Okay, maybe she wasn't interested in the

movie, but it's better than just sitting

there in silence. What else are we going

to do in a hotel room? There's not much to

do in a hotel room. It's a room and

there's a bed and there's a big TV,

but the TV didn't work when you press the

switch. So what else are we gonna do?

Just sit there staring at each other

talking about stuff? I didn't even know

what to talk to her about. There was

nothing to talk about.

We can't have sex all day. We can't go

outside all day because it was really hot

and it's, it's exhausting having to walk

around all day long. We went out in the

afternoon I just wanted the morning up

until midday to, um, relax and

to go on my laptop and play Rainbow Six.

I wasn't really in the mood for chitchat

all day long. I'm not a very chitchatty

person in the morning. In the morning,

I'm a bit grumpy because I just woke up

and it takes me a couple of hours to get

running. I'm not really a morning person.

I was much worse in Korea. I'd wake up and

my Korean ex would ask me about food and

I'd be really snappy because I don't like

mornings. I need, I need my alone

time. It's kind of stressful

being stuck with someone all day long for

about 3 days and then you're not even

interested in them. It's just really

uncomfortable and awkward. I shouldn't

have said yes to 3 days. 1 night would

have been better. The first night was

fine, there weren't any problems. Things

started to go downhill on the second day

because I was starting to get stressed out

and fed up a bit because I just felt

really pressured and I had no alone time

and I could sense that she was kind of

unhappy. But I didn't know what to do

about it,

and I wasn't interested in talking to her

really, because the first day of talking

to her made me realize

I didn't really feel interested in talking

to her, and I didn't really feel attracted

In general, I just don't feel interested

in talking to people. It takes a special

kind of person that interests me, and

there's not a lot of people out there who

generally open me up and

make me feel talkative.

So that's why— that's

why I didn't talk a lot.

But I didn't talk much to my dad either.

Me and my dad barely spoke. A lot of days

me and my dad didn't say more than 2 words

to each other. He would say hello, I'd say

hello, then we'd say goodnight without

even talking about anything. That's just

I'm not the kind of person who can just

easily talk to anyone.

I'm very— I guess I'm very picky.

I don't enjoy just talking to any Jim Bob

Jones. I find most people boring to talk

to.

Also, she could have left at any time if

she felt uncomfortable or I was making her

upset. Why didn't she just leave? Why stay

if she was so uncomfortable and unhappy?

If I made her feel so bad, why didn't she

just go? No one was forcing her to stay.

I didn't beg her to stay. I didn't beg her

not to leave. I didn't lock the door,

didn't chain her to the bed.

It's not my fault.

And it was just kind of annoying.

Um,

the whole situation was just annoying. I

just wanted to be on my laptop and do

stuff that I usually do, not have to

babysit someone.

I was hoping you were happy because you

found something fulfilling. I did. I found

an iPad. Oh, I'm not gonna spoil the

secret. I got myself a little treat and I

finished all my jobs for today. I did the

hoovering, had lunch, um, I did some

dusting around my desk. It was covered in

dust. I wiped my monitors, my speakers,

my surfaces.

Now it looks very nice, nice and clean.

And, um, yeah,

I feel quite pleased with today.

Finished my video for today. It's gonna go

up tomorrow.

Quite excited to upload it.

She was babysitting you because you

couldn't even order food yourself? No,

I asked her to order and then she said

okay. And then the last day I ordered my

own McDonald's, so I think I deserve a bit

of praise.

Everyone knows that I don't like ordering

stuff, and I find it difficult to order,

so don't blame me. Blame yourself.

Oh, and she said that it was painful

having sex with me because I didn't do

foreplay and I just put it in,

and that's why she bled. I didn't know it

was painful. I thought, um, she was ready.

For it. I didn't know it was so— I didn't

think it was that dry. I thought it was

wet enough, but apparently not. And

apparently she said it was painful on

Reddit. She didn't say it to me, so I

didn't know. I had no idea it was painful,

and she didn't tell me to stop. If she

told me it was painful and she told me to

stop, I would have stopped. But if she

doesn't say anything, how am I supposed to

know?

Most of the time I don't have to do

foreplay. It just goes straight in with

other girls. This is the first time I've

ever made someone bleed. I've never made

anyone else bleed, ever.

So I didn't know that it could even bleed

And I just, I just don't usually do

foreplay unless I feel attracted to the

girl. I didn't even do foreplay with my

wife. I usually just spat on my hand.

That's just my style.

Because if I don't feel attracted, then I

need to get it in quickly, otherwise it

goes soft. So I try and get it in as fast

as I can before it goes soft. If I sit

there messing around doing foreplay, It's

just kind of boring.

I don't understand why women need

foreplay. Men don't need it. Men are just

hard all the time anyway. I'm hard right

now. No one's foreplaying me. Why do women

need to be foreplayed?

Have you ever tried doing foreplay with

someone that you're not really attracted

to? It's so boring. You're just sitting

there going like

sucking on a fish.

I'd rather suck my thumb. Just really

dull. That's why I didn't do foreplay.

I don't always not do foreplay. If I feel

very attracted to the girl, then yeah, I

love doing foreplay. But you know, I don't

want to do foreplay unless I feel

attracted to them. Well, this stream

has to be taken down now.

I don't know, do you think YouTube would

let me talk about stuff like this?

Because I'm thinking about leaving my

streams up but setting it to unlisted and

then letting Patreon members view it so I

make more money. I mean, so I can offer my

members on Patreon something extra. What

do you think? I'm just a bit worried about

leaving the streams up because, you know,

I say some weird stuff.

I think YouTube would be okay with it,

It's only foreplay talk.

If, if I had good internet, I would

download the stream and then re-upload it

on a different channel where it's safe and

not worry about strikes. I don't think

I could get a strike for the stuff I say.

That would be weird. Did she

smell? She kind of smelled like farts

sometimes, which was a bit weird.

And there was a smell of body odor. She

put on deodorant a lot of the time. But

that's okay, I smell like body odor as

well. I smell like body odor now. I

haven't even had a shower today and my

armpits are all wet. Smells like beer.

The problem is I have a shower and I wash

my armpits, but then I start sweating

again because, you know, you usually sweat

and then it gets smelly again. And then

the sweat gets onto my clothing. So I'm

wearing this. If I take this off and I

smell the armpit area, it smells like my

armpit. So even if I shower, I still smell

like armpit because the smell's on my

And then people ask me why didn't I wash

my clothing. It's because I was staying in

a hotel. Hotels don't have washing

machines. And I'm not going to go down to

a launderette and sit there doing my

laundry like an old man when I'm in

Germany painting the town red.

Anyway, I put all my clothes in the

washing when I got back. This is all I

have left. I need to put this in the

washing when my other stuff comes out of

the washing. Obviously, when I meet the

Essex girl, I'm gonna change my clothing.

I'm not gonna wear my stinking armpit

shirt when I meet her. I'm gonna wear

fresh clean stuff and

I'm gonna have a shower. I haven't had a

shower today so my hair is looking kind of

sexy. How did I meet her?

Who, the Turkish girl? She messaged me on

Instagram after I made the I'm Looking for

a Girlfriend video, which if you remember

in the Looking for a Girlfriend video I

Very clearly said that I'll talk about you

in videos. So if you're not happy with me

talking about you in videos, then best not

to contact me.

And I never promised to fall in love with

you, and I never promised to be your

boyfriend. It was just a casual thing

where we meet up, have some fun, and then

we'll see where it goes from there, if I

like you or not. I didn't say if I meet

you it means I like you and I love you. I

can't know if I love or like you until we

meet, and just because I don't feel

attracted to you doesn't mean that I don't

want to have sex with you. Although maybe

I should stop that. Maybe I should stop

sexing girls unless I feel attracted to

them. What do you think?

It just seems a waste for her to come all

the way to my hotel and then we don't have

sex. It'll be like ordering a pizza and

then it arrives, you open the box, you

don't like what you see, and then you send

it back. Well, it's already here, you

might as well eat it.

Same logic.

And I couldn't be rude like that. She came

all the way to Germany for me. I couldn't

just say, um, actually, I don't find you

attractive. Can you go away, please? I

couldn't say that. I'm not rude

like that. I'm very polite, and I like to

please people, and I feel really bad

rejecting people. How could I just reject

her 5 minutes after meeting her?

I couldn't, couldn't send her back on the

bus straight away.

Ah, it's tricky because Because

I don't want to hurt their feelings.

Okay, okay, I've got a new strategy. How

about next time, um, we only have

sex if I feel attracted to you, and you

don't stay with me for 3 nights, only 1.

And then if I do like you, then we can

meet up for a second time If not, then,

you know, I just didn't really feel into

you, and then we can say goodbye. No harm

caused.

She was the one who, who wanted to stay

with me for 4 nights, basically living

together. I said 3 is enough,

and then she got upset saying that I

didn't want to stay with her for very

3 nights is very, very long to be stuck

with someone that you're not interested

I thought she looked nice in the photos,

but then I met her And she looked nothing

like her photos. It was like a completely

different person. I don't get it. I don't

understand how someone can look so

different to their photos.

I don't know how she looked different,

but she just looked very different.

She looks pretty in your video. Yeah,

that's because my camera is shit and it

makes everyone look pretty. I mean, I look

pretty in my videos and then you meet me,

my face is covered in freckles and acne.

Do you think people would look bad using a

low-quality phone camera that's been

exported at medium bitrate and then

uploaded to YouTube where the quality is

Shat on even more. Everyone is gonna look

good. A 60-year-old woman is gonna look

good. I'm not using a DSLR. I'm not

uploading at 4K. Everyone looks good

on this phone.

Even you would look good.

I have the worst skin ever, but everyone

thinks my skin looks great. It's because

the quality is shit and you can't see it.

When am I meeting the Essex girl? In a

couple weeks' time. But this time we've

agreed not to have sex straight away,

and I think I'm not gonna have

sex with her if I don't like her.

So I don't see what could go wrong.

Why am I so negative? I think I'm pretty

positive actually, considering all of the

things that have happened.

Do I find the Essex girl attractive? From

what I've seen, yes, I think she is

attractive, but you never know Until

Also, I like talking to her. I don't find—

I don't feel bored talking to her. I could

talk to her for hours on video chat. I

couldn't even talk to the Turkish girl for

more than 2 minutes without feeling bored.

What does she look like? Well, she has

long hair.

And I

guess she's white, but I'm

not sure because I think her dad was

Spanish, so maybe she's a mixture of white

and Spanish. I should ask her.

And she has a face I'm

not sure how to describe it.

I'm not sure how to describe her face. It

just looks like a face. I can hear

something outside.

Spanish people are white. No, they're not.

They're Spanish. A Spanish person looks

very different to a white person.

How does it feel being liked by no one?

Plenty of people like me. I bet more

people like me than you know people.

I bet there's more people that like me

that even know that you exist.

You got owned.

No, Spanish people are browner than white

people and they have brown hair.

You look at, um, Leonardo da Vinci and you

look at Shakespeare, they look very

different, don't they? It's because one's

Spanish, one's white. Come on guys, I

thought you were supposed to be clever.

Oh, thank you, Cesium, my second donation.

Very generous.

Everyone's here watching me because I'm a

freak. No, they're watching me because

they like me. Why would you watch someone

if you didn't like them? Don't be stupid.

Hi, Danny, we're an English Facebook

group. Guys have a donation. M8. M8.

So yeah, I'm looking forward to a couple

weeks' time. We're gonna go to a special

place in London. Secret location,

and she says she's bringing bread so we

can feed ducks. Maybe I should bring

something. I could bring— what

should I bring? Bring her some socks.

Oh, thank you, Cash Prexter. Yeah, you

see, we're watching because we like you.

People do like me.

We're going to go and feed ducks, and then

we're going to walk around, and then,

um, we're going to become girlfriend and

boyfriend. We're watching because we like

you. XD. Why is

this light so weak?

I'm happy because I got myself a little,

little treat. On Amazon,

and it should be coming in the next hour.

Let me check,

let me

check. Tracking shipment.

Track shipment.

Oh, it hasn't even dispatched yet, but it

says arriving today by 8 PM, so that's in

an hour. It's only 6:50, still an hour

She's on Reddit now. She's doing an Ask Me

Anything, and then she's answering

questions about me,

and then she's saying that, um,

I literally hide from people on the street

because there was this one time when there

was a big group of noisy German people And

they were walking behind us, and I

stopped, and I sidestepped into a shadow

to let them go ahead of us. And then I

walked in a different direction because

they were so loud and annoying. Not

because I was scared of them, because they

were irritating. That's why.

Oh, thank you, Lauren. I watch because you

make me feel better.

You see, I make people feel good about

themselves, and people say I, I don't

provide anything to society.

I make people feel good physically and

emotionally.

And then she said I wear lots of layers.

Yeah, I wear lots of layers. Everyone

knows that because I like to make myself

appear less skinny, and it makes me feel

more confident when I'm a bit thicker.

And this is the only way I can do it. I'm

not gonna go to the gym. I'm not gonna

stuff myself so I can gain a couple

stones. It's easiest to just put on an

extra layer.

We watch because we like to see you fail.

Well, I'm not gonna thank you for your

donation then, if that's the case.

You need a black girl. Haven't really had

any messages from black girls,

so— who want to hook up.

What did I order? I ordered an iPad

Pro. I know I said

I wasn't gonna buy one, but I caved. It

just looks so pretty, and I want to see if

it's better than a laptop. I'm not sure if

I should return my laptop because if I

move out, then I need my laptop to play

Rainbow Six. But if I don't move out, I

don't really need a laptop because I have

my desktop. But the laptop's better than

my desktop. But the desktop's still good.

My desktop has an i5 4th generation from

2015, but it's still good. My laptop has

an i7 8th generation, which is a lot, lot

more responsive. Daniel, you lie.

I messaged you and I'm black. I didn't

know you were black. I thought you were

that guy in your profile picture.

Say pretty again. Why?

That's how you pronounce it. I've got an

iPad Pro and I got— what's it called?

Zzzz, makes your hair shorter gadget. I

might trim the back of my head. You see

this bit? Might look better if it was a

bit shorter. I'm not sure. What do you

think? Should I just let it grow?

Oh, thank you, Cesium. When I was a kid

growing up in North Kent, girls from Essex

had a reputation for being easy. I don't

think she's easy, and she doesn't have

that cliché Essex accent everyone thinks

Essex people have. She has a very

posh-sounding accent, maybe even posher

than me. Girls from Essex

had a reputation for being easy. You're in

there, mate. Face-savoring food.

This time we won't— I won't try

and bamboozle on the first date.

Maybe I should try that, because every

girl that I've met so far, I've tried to

bamboozle on the first date. Or I have.

Serialled on the first date, and usually

I never see them ever again. So how about

this time I see

what happens if I be patient?

Because that way, if I don't— if I don't

like her, then we just don't meet again,

and there's no awkwardness or resentment

because she doesn't feel like I've used

her for sex. And then I don't have to feel

guilty for not wanting to see her again

because we didn't have sex. Oh, thank you,

Omar. You're so weird, I love you for it.

Thanks. I don't think I'm that weird.

Maybe if we be patient and we wait, then

it will be even better when we finally do

it. Maybe.

You're so weird and I love you for it, my

guy. In 10 years you'll be 40.

Yeah, well, in 10 years you'll be whatever

age you are plus 10. I'll be 40

and I'll still look young, younger than

all of you. Am I planning on seeing

Endgame? What is Endgame? I saw a few

tweets about it. I want

to watch the Tolkien movie about

the Lord of the Rings creator, his life.

That looks quite interesting.

I look old now? No, I don't. People still

think I look 20. The Turkish girl said I

look younger than I look in videos. She

said I look no more than 20.

People still think I'm in my early 20s.

Oh, and apparently my wife's been

messaging my mum, and she moved into a new

place, and she sent my mum a video of the

new place. Looks quite nice. She took my

chair and she took— she

said, she said she chucked away my black

bag. She said she didn't know that my dad

gave it to me, even though I've said

several times that my dad gave me that

bag. And I definitely told her my dad gave

it to me and she just chucked it away.

She's so cold. And she

threw away the sofa because she couldn't

sell it. And it wouldn't fit in the new

place. So that was $500 down the drain.

And then she said something to my mum.

She said, I can't believe I married such a

disgusting guy. And then she said, maybe I

won't sue, it will just be a waste of

time. So hopefully she has given up

on the whole suing thing and I can go back

to Japan. In the future, there's one girl

who wants to meet me in Japan. There was

this girl I went on a date with on Tinder

in Japan. She keeps messaging me asking me

when I'm coming back to Japan. Can't tell

her that I was married though.

She was quite nice, I guess, but she

turned me off a bit when she told me that

she punched someone in the face and got

into a fistfight. It's not very ladylike.

She sounds tougher than me.

But I'm not really interested in going

back to Japan right now. Maybe later in

the future.

When I got back to England, it was really

nice. I think England is so much better

than Germany. Everyone speaks English and

you can get sandwiches everywhere.

Don't know why I was so scared of London.

I got on the Underground, rode it to South

Kensington, and took South Kensington

Underground to Victoria. Walked around

Victoria for a bit. It's really nice

around there, actually. Got on the train.

Yeah, it's strange. I used to be so

intimidated by London and navigating the

Underground when actually it's very, very

easy.

And there's no more ticket— ticket booths.

There used to be when I went in to London

years ago. There used to be people who

sold tickets behind a glass panel.

And they're all gone, replaced by machines

now. Isn't that sad? All those people lost

their jobs and they got replaced by a

machine. Uh, when your job— when you can

get replaced by a machine, then that

kind of means your job isn't worth doing.

Everyone's getting replaced. Soon taxi

drivers are going to get replaced. Maybe

the robots will be doing everything,

even supermarkets, self-checkout. You

don't need cashiers.

Good, get rid of all the people. I prefer

robots and machines. At least they don't

irritate me.

What happened to my hair? What do you

mean? I think it looks quite sexy, don't

Where's my iPad Pro?

So annoying. Look, I'll tell you what she

did on the 3rd date.

I was on my laptop and then she stopped me

from using my laptop and then she sat on

my lap and she just stared at me like

And then I said, what's wrong? Are you

okay? And she just stared at me, didn't

say a thing. And then every time I tried

to reach for my phone or my laptop, she

would hit my hand away from it. And then

she stared at me,

and then she said, I don't like being

ignored. I said, I wasn't ignoring you,

there's just nothing else to do.

So she just sat on me and she wasn't

saying anything. She wouldn't let me do

anything, so I just gave up and I sat

there and I stared out the window like

this, and I was so irritated.

My face just dropped. I was like this for

about 5 minutes, and then I finally

tried to get up, and then she moved out of

the way, and I had a shower. And then she

went into the shower room after me, and

then I went onto Discord and I started

ranting about it. Oh, this Turkish girl is

so annoying. And then she saw it. And then

she got upset and asked me if she wanted—

if I wanted her to leave. I should have

said yes. I wanted to say yes. I actually

wanted to leave myself and go straight to

the airport, book a different hotel.

I don't know what she wanted me to do. I

don't know, sit next to her and talk to

her about what? I don't know what she

wants to talk about.

I told her it'd be boring and we'd just be

stuck in a hotel room doing nothing, but

no, no one ever listens to me, do they?

I warned her,

and I put on several movies. I put on this

Netflix movie called IO, which is quite

good. I thought it was very interesting.

She had no interest, didn't even watch it

with me. She just went back to the bed,

looked at her phone, and then she kept

laughing. And then I'd ask her what's so

funny, and she'd say, oh, I'm just looking

at this. She would just burst out laughing

randomly, and I didn't know what to do. I

didn't know what she's laughing about. No

point asking her because it probably

wasn't funny, so I just ignored her.

Trying to play Rainbow Six, I could hear

manic laughing from behind me every now

and then. I'd just

be sitting there playing my game and

suddenly— it's

just weird.

She complains about me ignoring her and

then she's also ignoring me, stuck to her

phone the whole time. Talk about

Critical. Yeah, I feel annoyed when people

just laugh at stuff when it's not funny.

When I was queuing up for the airplane,

there were these 2 English guys. They kept

chatting and laughing. I had no idea what

was so funny. Nothing they were saying was

funny at all, and they were just laughing

their heads off about Something

that wasn't even funny, and then the guy

had a tattoo all over his bald head. I

wanted to slap him on the top of his egg

and tell him to stop laughing when it's

not funny. Stupid people.

Not allowed to laugh unless it's funny,

okay? And if you're gonna laugh, laugh

quietly. Should have slapped his

egg and then ran away. I would have had to

jump because he was very tall, like this,

and then legged it. And then

on the plane back, some Indian guy sitting

next to me saw I was using a battery case

on my phone, and he had the nerve to ask

if he could borrow it.

And then me being me, not being able to

say no to people, Obviously I let him

borrow it. I didn't really want to. And

then for the entire flight, he was just

charging his phone with my case, draining

my battery. If you're gonna go on a plane,

at least have the foresight to know that

you're gonna have to charge your battery.

Bring a battery charger. They're not

expensive. You can get a tiny little

battery charger, put it in your pocket.

Leeching off my battery. After I planned

it carefully, I knew I was going to be on

a plane, charged up my battery case so I

could use it, not so some stranger next to

me— some people,

unbelievable— get on the plane and then

they leech off other people's batteries,

battery banks. I want to say no, I want to

make up some kind of lie and say I'm out

of battery, but he saw the blue lights on

it. That say that it's fully charged. I

couldn't think of an excuse and I just

gave it to him.

I can't say no to people. Some guy, some

charity guy came up to me in Germany and I

gave him about €6. Took out all the coins

in my pocket because I didn't want to say

no. He looked so happy when I gave him

those coins.

Why is it so difficult?

I just feel bad saying no. I feel

rude. I don't want to make people upset.

I didn't have any good reason not to lend

him my battery case. Didn't want to,

but I didn't have a good reason not to.

I just couldn't believe that he asked me.

There's no way I would ever, ever ask a

stranger on a plane if I could use his

battery case.

Some people just have no, no shame.

Also, when I was on the train back from

London, I don't know how many people were

on their phones. And they're just speaking

so loudly. Hello honey, I'm on the train

now. Yeah, I'll be back in half an hour.

Bye honey buns. Oh, shut up. Talking on

their bloody phones as if everyone wants

to listen to it. Why don't you just send

them a text? It's not hard to text. I'll

be back in 30 minutes. I'm on the train.

It takes 20 seconds.

Everyone on the train, they don't have any

shame sitting there phoning people. Why do

people phone people? Just send them a

message. It's not 1990 where there's no

messaging apps. We have messaging apps.

This is what Japan has right,

the whole culture of not talking on your

phone on the train. They just have that

done down so well. That's how it

should be. Stop irritating people on the

train with your loud voice. Hate it.

And then you end up listening to what

they're saying because you can't help it.

You can't block out the sound.

It's like you're being forced. Oh, oh,

there was this German guy as well. Oh,

this is funny. Let me

describe to you what I saw in Germany. We

were walking around in Düsseldorf, and

then there were these 3 young-looking

German kids— not kids, but kind of like

teenagers. There were 2 guys and a girl,

and they were wearing all black like a

load of emo goth kids. The girl was

wearing, I don't know, some kind of weird

black outfit, and there was a guy wearing

a black hoodie and a cap with his hands in

his pockets. And he had a massive speaker

strapped to his back booming out some kind

of German punk music at full blast.

It was just so weird.

He was walking down the street like this

with this

massive speaker strapped to his back,

German music blaring out of it, not a care

in the world. As if he thinks his music

taste is so good. Oh, my music taste is so

good, everyone around me must listen to it

whilst I walk down downtown the high

street playing my stupid German punk

music. Who the hell does he think he is?

Bloody emo kids. Don't know how

they have no shame about things like this.

Don't they think maybe we don't want to

listen to your shit music? Maybe we don't

like your music. Maybe we don't want to

hear it. Maybe wear some headphones.

So stupid. They look like idiots as

well.

I think this— I bet they thought they were

so cool, didn't they? Oh, look at us

walking down the high street with our punk

music. Their face looks stupid as well.

Their expression was like this.

Oh, we're so cool. I would never

do that. I could never walk down

the street playing Bullet for My Valentine

on a big speaker strapped to my back.

This is so stupid. Lame.

Why don't these people have brains? I

don't get it. No one wants to listen to

your music. Stop being selfish and forcing

us to listen to your shit music. And then

people do it in their cars as well. They

drive around with the window down and

all you can hear is oom oom oom oom with

the arm out the window hanging there

whilst they drive. Oh, my music tastes so

good, everyone must listen to it.

Hope you crash and your car blows up and

then you lose your legs, huh?

People are weird, aren't they?

I wear earphones so I can listen to my

music and not bother other people. It's

called being considerate, having some

consideration,

not forcing people to listen to something

they probably don't want to listen to. So

selfish, aren't they?

That's my little rant about

music. They just look so dumb, those kids.

Should have taken a photo.

Okay, I'll answer some questions. Yes, I

am very considerate. I'm very quiet. I'm

very aware of my of

what's going on around me so I don't block

people. I don't make noise, I don't

litter, I keep my legs in so I don't block

people. I make sure I look around so I'm

not getting in anyone's way. When I'm

making a turn, I look before I turn. I

don't just turn without looking. So many

people just turn whilst they're looking in

a completely different direction, and then

they almost bump into you.

What if I was a car and I ran them over?

So yeah, I am very considerate about other

people in public. Online is a different

story. Online, you know, fuck everyone

else.

Do do do do do. Where's my iPad? It's

already seven. It said it'll be here by

eight p.m., but it's not here.

Where is it?

It's not even dispatched yet. It says

arriving today by 8 PM. If it changes to

arriving tomorrow, I'm going to be very

I paid for next-day delivery,

but it definitely says arriving today.

Why would it say arriving today if it's

not? I'd be very disappointed

if it doesn't arrive today, and then I'm

gonna blame you because it's always your

Says not yet dispatched. Delivery

estimate— oh, now it says by 9 PM.

Friday, 26th of April, 9 PM.

Why do they deliver here at So late.

Why am I always at the end of the delivery

chain? They go all around the country,

all around the region, and then they come

to my house at the very end, making me

wait all day long.

How can it not be dispatched? What are

they waiting for? Just dispatch it

already. I paid— well, I didn't pay, but I

paid for Prime membership, which means I'm

entitled to next-day delivery. Does it not

mean that?

And I don't live in the middle of nowhere.

I live in between 2 very big towns.

They could easily get me in between those

towns.

Is the Essex girl blonde? No,

I thought she was brunette, but she

recently told me she's brownish with hints

of purple. She said she

dyed it. Well, she must have dyed it. She

can't naturally be purple. Who's that?

Oh look, it's Mr. Pikey. In his van,

or is it Amazon?

In his rape van.

Hey little kiddies, I have some candy.

Oh, thank you, Cesium. Go to Brussels or

Amsterdam. €40 for sex? I paid €2.50.

It's pretty cheap. Oh, thank you, Merle

Theus, for the dollar.

I don't really want to pay for sex

anymore. It's just kind of boring. It

feels like a waste of money. I'm only

gonna have sex from now on if it's for

true love or a casual

hookup. The girl has to agree to

it being a casual hookup.

I don't want any more girls complaining

about me using them for content or sex.

If you meet up with me, you just kind of

have to assume that I'm gonna use you for

content and possibly sex unless absolutely

nothing interesting happens between us.

And there's no content to be made. For

example, the London girl, I didn't make

any content about her because she was very

nice and had nothing to complain about.

We went to a hotel, we walked around a

bit, bought some food, came back, watched

the news, and watched it together. We

talked about it whilst watching it, and

she didn't sit on the bed sulking like a

little baby crying because I didn't

give her attention. She was nice, so I

didn't have anything to make content on or

about her. So I don't always use girls

for content. I only use people

for content if I think it's interesting

enough to make into content, okay?

I probably wouldn't have made a video

about the Turkish girl if she didn't do

that annoying thing, or if she didn't

start blabbing to everyone in the comment

section. I would have kept quiet and I

wouldn't have made anything else on it,

but nope.

I manipulate people for content? No, I do

I manipulate people for sex by being nice

to them. I don't know if that counts as

manipulation. If I'm being nice to you

because I want you to like me, is that

manipulation? I guess

everyone manipulates everyone somehow.

If you work in sales, you're manipulating

your customers to buy stuff if you're

pitching to them.

Come on guys, don't act as if you've never

manipulated anyone. Everyone manipulates

people in some way.

If you're trying to get someone to like

you, then that's manipulation.

If you say you don't manipulate, then

you're lying, because you must care what

other people think of you, and you must

alter your own behavior in a favorable

way to get people to like you. That means

you're manipulating them. Oh, thank you,

Aquatic Beef. Come to the North Pole next,

please. Is there Tinder in the North Pole?

And I'm always very honest, you know, on

YouTube, and I always tell people that I

like having sex and I'm not against casual

one-nighters. I never promise

to be anyone's boyfriend or to fall in

love with them. I say, well, we'll meet up

and then we'll see how it goes.

I don't see how that's me being

disingenuous. I think I'm being pretty

straightforward with what I want.

But if you do something that annoys me

or upsets me, then yeah, I'm gonna have a

little rant about it somewhere. Discord

maybe, then a livestream, then maybe a

video. If you don't like that, then just

don't annoy me. It's not hard.

Just remember that I talk a lot,

and if I'm not happy about something, I

might not say it directly to your face,

but I'll probably say it somewhere.

Who's that?

Oh, another Pheasants back from

the rice fields.

Why am I spending so much money lately?

Yeah, I am spending a lot.

I should stop, really. It's just the

iPad Pro just looks so pretty, so

tempting. Okay, it's not as good

as the laptop. The laptop is better

spec-wise in every single way. The laptop

has way more functionality, but it looks

boring. Look at it.

I want a sleek, cool-looking iPad.

I'm such an Apple fanboy. Look, I got my

iPhone, now I got an iPad. I'm Tim Cook's

little bitch. Tim Cook's bitch boy.

Suckered me in good, didn't he?

That's the only reason I bought the iPhone

X, because it looks pretty. I love

how it has no button at the bottom and

then you can swipe up. That's what hooked

I'm not sure what to do with the laptop.

It's like I said earlier, if I move out,

then I need a laptop. But if I don't move

out, then I probably won't use the laptop,

and I'd prefer to have an iPad. Oh, thank

you, Electric Six. Do I ever talk on DMs

in Discord? Yeah, sometimes. I don't reply

to everyone though. And I

think my LG G5 has finally had it because—

did you see my last video?

The audio in my last video sounds

terrible.

Sounds like I'm in a bathroom. It's all

echoey. I don't know why, because usually

the audio quality is pretty good on the

LG, but it seems to be glitching out. I

don't know if there's something blocking

the mic. Hole. Maybe if I suck it,

maybe there's something stuck in there.

I did buy it 3 years ago, so it's pretty

I should use my GoPro for the wide angle,

and then if I want to make a video showing

my face, I'll just use my iPhone. The

GoPro seems to work pretty well. Good

sound, good stability, good wide angle.

It's just a bit annoying sending files

over to my iPhone all the time.

Oh, thank you, Anonymous.

What was she like?