why i have no ambition in life [SjO1IFdMr9U]

You may have realized that I'm not a very

ambitious person, and it's true. I'm

probably the least ambitious person in the

entire world. I don't have these big goals

like buy a house, buy a car, earn a lot of

money, get a good job. Not because I don't

want those things. I would love to have a

house and a car and a really fulfilling,

well-paying job. It's just that to be able

to get those things, I realized it

requires so much hard work and so much

dedication and so much time, energy, and

effort to be able to get those things.

And when I was ambitious, at some point in

my early life and I tried to get those

things, I realized this is so hard. I

don't know how I can do this. I can't do

this. And I ended up just giving up or

quitting anything I was doing in order to

try and achieve those goals. I had these

dreams when I was in my early 20s or even

in my teenage years, 17 or 18, to one day

marry a really attractive Japanese woman,

someone who looks like they're a member

from AKB48, move to Japan, get married,

have kids, get some kind of job where I'll

be respected and make a lot of money. And

that was like my dream, my dream life that

I had in my mind that I really wished

would come true. So I moved to Japan, I

got myself a simple job working at a

convenience store, and even that was so

difficult I ended up giving up and just

quitting all my dreams and just like

trying to find a new way to live life

without actually having ambitions.

Because it really hurts to have these big

dreams and goals and realizing that you'll

never be able to achieve them because it's

so difficult, and you just don't have the

willpower or the mental strength to be

able to stick to anything long enough to

be able to achieve anything that's

difficult. So I just had to kind of

readjust and rewire my brain into thinking

that, yeah, I might be a loser and I might

be broke and not have things like a car or

house or a nice job or be respected, but

at least I won't have to experience

failure again. I experienced failure And

it was so painful. I thought to myself, I

tried something and I failed. It hurts.

The lesson is never try again. And I just

have no idea why everything in life is so

damn difficult. I've tried so many things.

I've tried to be a YouTuber. I tried to

learn the piano. I tried to learn the

I tried computer programming and coding my

own video game. I tried to learn several

foreign languages. And every time it

begins to get a bit difficult or

challenging, I just give up and I move on

to something new. So I never end up

getting good at anything, or I'll learn a

little bit and start to get kind of okay.

But as soon as I hit this wall or ceiling

of difficulty, instead of trying to smash

through it, I just turn the other way and

look for another more simple and easier,

less challenging wall to jump over or

smash through. Take, for example, my dream

to live in Japan. It's just so difficult.

So obviously you need a visa, you need a

work visa so you can get a job so you can

make money. But in order to get a work

visa, you need to be able to get a job.

In order to get a job, you need to have a

university degree. In order to have a

university degree, you need to pass your

A-levels. In order to do A-levels, you

need to do your GCSEs. So I have my GCSEs

because I did graduate from secondary

school. So if I was seriously thinking of

actually trying to work towards my goal,

first I would have to sign up to college

and do like a year or 2 for A-levels.

Then I would have to sign up to university

and then spend a couple of years trying to

get a degree. And that's going to cost

tens of thousands of pounds. People who

went to university are in their 30s now

and they're still paying off their student

debt. And then after I get my degree,

let's say for example I didn't give up at

all along the way. So I've got 2 years

college, A-levels, 3, 4 years university,

get my degree. That's 6, 5 or 6 years.

And then I have to go and look for a job

and then get a job in Japan and actually

do the job forever without getting fed up

with the job or sucking at the job to a

point where I get fired or I quit because

I really hate the job. And then even if I

never gave up, that would take like 6, 7

years. I would be nearly 40, 42, 43, and

then maybe I would be able to achieve my

dream. But at what cost? I spent all this

money on education. I spent all this time

and effort trying to study. And then,

yeah, I can now live in Japan. I'm in my

40s. I still don't really feel like that

would make me happy. And there's just no

way that I would not be tempted to give up

at some part along the way on that

journey. You might have noticed me saying

things like, getting a job or working is

stupid, is boring, why would I want to get

a job, having a job is the worst thing in

the world. And then some people say back

to me, Daniel, actually there's a lot of

very fulfilling and rewarding careers in

the world. As if I don't know that. You

think I don't know that there's famous

singers and famous piano players and

famous rocket engineers and famous

computer scientists and tech developers

who really love their jobs. Obviously, I

know that a lot of people enjoy their jobs

because they love what they do and they

put in the hard work to be able to get

those jobs. They didn't just wake up one

morning and suddenly become a NASA rocket

science— they became a rocket scientist

because they love rockets and science and

they really find that stuff fascinating.

And because they really enjoy that stuff,

they really enjoy learning about it, and

they're not going to give up. They're not

like, oh, this rocket science thing is too

difficult and boring, I'm gonna give up.

The reason why they don't give up is

because they never find it boring. If you

don't find things boring, you'll keep

doing it even if it is challenging and

hard. And then you'll get so good at it,

then yeah, you'll be able to get a good

job and you'll have a fulfilling and

rewarding career. That's like the ideal

situation where there's something you

really love doing and you never get bored

of it and you get really good at it, and

then you get a really good job that pays

really well. That's like the dream life,

isn't it? But unfortunately, the dream

life isn't something that everyone can

get. That's like top 5 or 10% people in

the world are able to live that dream

life. And it's hard to get the dream life.

You don't just get given the dream life.

Most people don't have what it takes to

achieve the dream life, or maybe they

don't even have anything particular that

they really love so much that they can

become a specialist in it. Most normal

people don't really care about anything,

and they just want to go home, watch TV,

and play video games. And when you're like

that, the most you can ever get is like a

very basic job. Obviously, I would like to

have a very fulfilling and rewarding

career. If there was something that I

loved so much and I felt so passionate

about and I was so dedicated to the craft

and learning everything about it, I would

love to have a fulfilling career. I'd love

to be a professional piano player or

professional banjo player who goes to live

concerts and entertains and amazes

millions of people. I wish I was a

professional coder and could create his

own video game that sells millions

millions of copies. Who wouldn't wish

that? It's just I can't become those

things because I don't care enough about

those things to become a master at those

things. So, so obviously I understand that

there's fulfilling careers in the world.

I don't know why people keep telling me

this as if I don't know that. I know they

exist. I never said they don't exist. I

just said my ability to get a fulfilling

job and career doesn't exist. I don't have

the willpower or the ambition or the

mental strength. And the problem is I just

don't have the fundamental required

interest in anything deep enough to want

to become an expert at it and be able to

get a career doing it. What am I going to

do? People say I'm good at drawing, but I

don't really enjoy drawing. I'm not

sitting here every day drawing. I don't

enjoy drawing. I'm okay at it because I

spent a lot of years when I was younger

doing it and practicing, but I'm not

really good at it. I'm kind of amateurish

at it. I did try to do a professional

illustrating freelance job once, and I

was told that my artwork was very

amateurish and they decided not to use the

artwork that I made for them. They paid me

anyway, but I felt really depressed and

down after it because I realized, yeah,

my artwork is just not good enough for

professional work. And I kind of gave up

doing artwork because I just don't enjoy

artwork. I'm not naturally gifted at it.

I'm not a genius at doing art. And what's

the point of doing something if you don't

enjoy it and you're not even that great at

it? Some people say I'm good at Japanese

and I'm okay at Japanese, but I'm not an

expert. I'm nowhere near as good as people

like The Anime Man or Dogen. Some of these

people are really amazing at Japanese and

I'm not even close to their level. And I

just, I still don't have the interest and

the passion to increase my Japanese level

to that next level. I feel like, yeah, I

passed JLPT level 2. I nearly passed level

1. I can have a conversation with Japanese

people. Pretty easily and understand

basically 80-90% of what they're saying.

But then when I watch TV, the news or

other kind of complicated topics and

subjects, I have a very hard time

following and understanding what's going

on. Also, you can't just become a

translator or interpreter with okay

Japanese skills alone. You need to combine

really good Japanese ability with really

good communication ability, which I

obviously have really bad communication

skills. And you also need a really good

knowledge of some kind of topic or

subjects like medicine, science,

technology, engineering, computer

software. You need to combine some kind of

skill and knowledge with really good

Japanese ability and really good

communication skills, and I just don't

have any of those things. So how can I

even think of becoming an interpreter or

translator? And I tried translation work

before, and it was so boring having to

translate these massive documents pages

upon pages upon pages of things like

patent documents and scientific documents.

I ended up getting so bored, I just copy

and pasted all the text into Google

Translate and then pasted the results back

into the work folder thing and then sent

that back off. And I made some money doing

that for a while until someone realized,

because they double-checked my

translation, they realized I was just copy

and pasting Google Translate. And then I

got banned from translation work. Even

with video games, I play a lot of video

games and there's a lot of games I really

enjoy playing and I like playing video

games, but I think I haven't finished

hardly any of the video games I've played.

I haven't finished any of them. Maybe I

finished like 10% until completion and I

finished the last mission and I completed

the story. But 8 out of 10 games I play,

I never even get close to finishing them,

especially games like Final Fantasy. I

would get maybe halfway in and then the

game just gets boring because it's too

repetitive or it's too difficult, or I get

lost or I get stuck and I don't enjoy it

anymore. So I just stop playing it and I

delete it and I don't finish it and I move

on to a new game. Even with World of

Warcraft, everyone would level up their

character from level 1 to 60 and then get

the epic mount and get the epic gear and

join a raiding guild and get really nice

legendary gear. I would get to level 60

and realize getting the epic mount and

getting the epic gear and joining a

raiding guild it's too much work. And then

I just start a new character and make a

new class and level that up from level 1.

I ended up having basically a level 60 of

every single class, and my guild members

didn't like me because I was not a useful

member of the guild, because I would never

get far enough with my character to be a

useful participating member in a raid.

I'd always just get to level 60 and start

again instead of becoming like a really

strong, reliable guild member that people

could depend on, and I got kicked out of

the guild. So at this point,

unfortunately, I've just kind of given up.

I've tried so many things and the same

thing happens every single time. I get

kind of into it. I get really obsessed

with it. Like, all I can think about is

this new thing that I'm dedicating my life

to. And I'm like, yes, I'm going to be the

best YouTuber. I'm going to be the best

video game coder. I'm going to be the best

at Japanese. And then it gets a bit

difficult and I give up. The same thing

has happened over and over again. I don't

think there's anything I've attempted in

life that I haven't just given up on. So I

feel like at this point there's no point

trying to achieve anything difficult

because I know deep down I'm just going to

give up and it's going to be a waste of

time. So why even bother? So right now my

mentality in life is just do easy things,

enjoy it whilst it's fun, and then when

you get bored of it, move on and find

something new to do. Don't don't think

you're going to get really good at it.

Don't try to do it if it's really

difficult. Also, I don't want to commit

myself to anything that's going to take a

long time to achieve. Like, I don't want

to start going to a course or a school

where I had to pay a lot of money up

front, and then I've got to go to the

course for like a year or two because I

know I'm just going to quit and end up

wasting all my money. So I have this motto

in life that I like to stick to. I call it

minimum effort, maximum outcome, which

means you get the maximum you can out of

something by putting in the least amount

of effort. That way you can minimize your

risk of trying to commit to something and

not being able to follow through and

wasting resources. And then you don't feel

down about thinking you're going to be the

next master at this thing and then

realizing, yeah, you suck. So what I'm

trying to do now is I'm trying to feel at

peace and I'm trying to feel content in

life without having things like a big

house or a fancy car or lots of money or a

respected, fulfilling career. I'm trying

to just enjoy life with the bare minimum.

All I need is my phone, some clothing, a

computer, food, and shelter. If I have

those 5 things, then that's okay. I don't

care about anything else. Yeah, it would

be nice to have some extra money and have

a nicer home and a nicer computer, but

it's not important I can be okay in life

and just exist without having these

difficult to acquire and achieve things

because it's too hard to get them.